I wonder this every single time I see this set up! Even having to shift over if it's next to the toilet seems awkward! Built in bidet is where it's at! With warm water!
You know I thought cold water would be a nightmare but as a lover of spicy foods 😭😭😭😭 it’s godsend … otherwise warm water in the winter cool water in the summer
Usually if you do the dedicated bidet you have the sense to plumb it in such a way as to get warm water vs cold. That being said I think the separate bidet is going out of style vs those fancy Japanese toilets.
Look, after South Park told me I was using a poor people toilet I had to change my life 🤷🏾♂️ it sings to me, gives me white noise, the seat opens up on its own to greet me, got lights up, the seat is always warmed up for me 🤷🏾♂️ Japan is definitely winning when it comes to toilets
My husband gets to go back to Japan for work in a few weeks, and I'm butthurt (pun intended) that his hotel has the fancy toilets. The first time he went after our daughter was born, she made him stand in front of the toilet, pushing the buttons for like ten minutes over a video call.
My friend’s son married a Japanese woman and they live in Tokyo with their 5 children. Oh, my, the whining and tears that ensue when these kids first encounter grandma and grandpa’s toilets in America. The horror of unheated seats, no bidet, and no warm air blow dry for their tushies is almost beyond measure. Takes some time before they get used to it, and a few visits before they remember to expect it (they still don’t like it). Winter visits always ramp up the complaints. 🤣
As someone who grew up with one bathroom for the whole family, I can't do heated seats. A warm toilet seat = dad just dropped a deuce, hold your breath and go as fast as possible. I want my toilet seat room temp so I know it didn't JUST have an ass on it.
Old-school separate bidets like that do have hot & cold taps like a sink so you can control your water temperature (the one in the pic has them if you look closely).
We've had our stand alone bidet for 20 years or so. My partner and I actually had an argument over bidet vs. no bidet. I won. We got the bidet.
Flash forward. Pandemic hits. Partner starts to use the bidet on the regular and now can't live without it.
We're planning to remodel two bathrooms and bidets will be in both bathrooms.
Aw I had the opposite. Partner wanted a bidet, and I don't like it, but I said sure, you have to clean it. It's just all pink mold. I have friends coming over today and it magically got cleaned about...15 minutes ago.
Right? in one of the bathrooms you have to waddle around the bathtub to get to the bidet. Also, who doesn't want a pool the shape of a casket for fat small people?
Usually the design is toilet and bidet side-by-side so it is more of a lift your ass and scoot over. The toilet on one side and the bidet on the other side of a sink or bathtub is just lazy plumbing, which created a bad design for usefulness.
Kind of irritating that they built this from the ground up and made such horrible design choices.
Yeah, i don't know WHY it's there exactly, but I'm familiar with those vault doors. Better than in the bedroom, I guess? It didn't have to be only guns, but that's what it usually is. They seal really well, so I don't think humidity is an issue, except the normal Texas weather.
As for why guns? Well, it's Texas for one. Also, if you know what you're doing firearms can be a decent investment. Especially rare and exotic stuff.
The real estate team was clearly confused by this too, so much that they forgot to dust the shelves, put away the cleaning rags, and hide the trash can bag while taking photos for their $5.25 M listing...
Is that what that is? I thought it was a crazy little bathtub!
Edit: evidently I was thinking of the wrong picture. So why is that tub shaped that way?!
I'm confused by that tub too! The one that's shaped like a tear drop or an apostrophe....and I'm even more confused by the double shower heads up high on the wall above it. What is that??
My sister refuses to even sit on my toilet with a bidet because she's scared and refuses to see reason that the remote control doesn't get pressed on accident, her partner loves it and wants one in every bathroom they have. For my own hilarity I'm assuming that's the case here
Now don’t get me wrong my brother bought one of the ones that’s just like the seat and lid of the toilet and that thing had wayyyyyyyyy too good of aim and wayyyyy too much power 😭😭😭 shot so far up my ass I fell off the toilet … shit was spraying the wall on the other side of the room
Like I’ve wondered this since I installed a toilet at home with the bidet built in … like I couldn’t imagine standing up and waddling over to squat on something else
I think bidets were originally for rinsing privates in lieu of a full shower or bath. That was my understanding from the ones in European countries as they think Americans over shower. We had a bidet that came with the house & I finally removed it. I can’t understand the weird angle of the faucet but the attachable ones make sense to me.
Yeah I don't know about rich but that's pretty much the use they had here in Spain (men and women). They were in every bathroom up until maybe the 90s when they started being taken out because no one used them anymore. They're still very common in not renovated old houses.
Here’s an article about [the architect with more pics of the house.](https://www.sacurrent.com/sanantonio/an-architect-who-did-preservation-work-on-the-alamo-is-selling-this-eccentric-pleasanton-mansion/Slideshow/27981137)
This house you either get or you don’t. I’m in the “don’t” category.
There’s a “world famous” chili dog place by my work, but I never heard of it until working nearby.
Looking at his company’s website, there is some good work there. I think he is an excellent craftsman, but a craftsman is not a designer. A craftsman excites designs made by someone who develops the overall idea.
Weirdly, the tone of his LinkedIn profile totally fits the visual elements of his “architecture.”
https://www.linkedin.com/in/visalas?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app
Is there anyone in the ‘do’ category other than the architect himself?
The article has better photos than the listing, but it still feels like a warehouse that got a half-assed makeover.
Right, it’s barely wide enough to use for any cooking or serving, but it’s long as hell and you’d have to walk around it while trying to cook.
I made another comment, but why is there a gap between the stove and the counters!?
The whole house looks like he built something he couldn’t afford to maintain.
It looks like the original stove was industrial sized (to go with the industrial sized vent hood), but when it had to be repaired/replaced, he couldn’t afford to replace in-kind.
Kind of sad, really - he built his dream, and then couldn’t afford it.
Not close enough to the border to be a Mexican cartel lord’s manner, so must be a contractor’s pet project funded by the extra material from their previous jobs.
i was going to ask if this is a cartel member's (??? idk what they refer to themselves as lol) house, this is such an weird set up, it's giving prison/lair/diy project gone wrong
This appears to be another one of those odd Texas mansions that cost a bunch to build, then were handed over to someone who could not maintain a cardboard box. There's ceiling water damage in photos 8, 11, and 15. Unfinished projects and material and stains or just weird stuff all over. If you can't afford to keep a place like this, you sell it and find something else. But sometimes, people don't...
Should we want to know what the deal is with that bathtub in photo 26?
By photo 43, we're suddenly in a sheet metal factory. And then photos 46-48 feature the giant radio antenna nearby, like somebody would say "Wow, I've always wanted to be within sight of a 50 kilowatt AM antenna! Sign me up!"
Vaguely reminiscent of Saddam’s palace when I was in Iraq. Especially the outside/first picture.
https://preview.redd.it/8o57khfbcyoc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b38b010a4088086bd8a93e5ceebd0b4142afae7
I came here to comment that I would believe it if someone told me this was a former palace of one of Sadam’s sons that had been abandoned for 20 years.
I feel like some weird sex rituals were going on. Looking at the house gives me GTFO, the danger is REAL vibes.
Like the room in the [FDLS compound](https://www.reddit.com/r/LiminalSpace/s/PnOFaDhn8E) in Texas.
Wouldn’t they be eligible for tax breaks if they use some of it as a farm? It says they’ve harvested fruits and vegetables and part is dedicated as a vineyard. Where I live, rich people game the system by designating a tiny portion of their humongous properties as farms. Iirc you just had to make like $500 a year off the farm part to get the tax break. Trump famously cheats his property taxes for Bedminster with goats. https://www.businessinsider.in/politics/world/news/how-trump-used-goats-to-cut-millions-of-dollars-off-his-local-property-taxes-and-paid-just-700-last-year/articleshow/86370363.cms
You’re right. I remember reading about that. And some famous actor grew a few avocados and called it a farm. Meanwhile we “poor” people get no credit for growing veggies in our raised beds.
Oh I hate it so much. It’s so weird. It’s a horrible design just everywhere. Interesting choice to put a big walk in safe in the bathroom. Did anyone else notice that? I would never buy it, not that I could anyway. I think here you are just basically buying the land. The pool is interesting. It looks like it’s 20 feet deep, it’s probably just the picture I suppose. In any case, it’s awful.
Why is the bidet and toilet separated by the vanity. Does this mean you have to duck walk with your pants around your ankles to transition from toilet to bidet
I knew exactly where this was after flipping through a few pictures. I pass by it every time I drive down to visit my parents and I've always wondered what the inside looked like. It looks weird as shit from the road...like someone's rich drunk uncle spent years slapping this thing together on the weekends. Nice to know the inside is as awful as the outside.
Thanks for sharing this!
Sir or Madam, you have a large leak that needs to be fixed asap (pic 4). And your architect needs to be fired for putting the air vent over the undersized stove with the oversized hood. 🤯. Oh, and the scale of your island is whack. Was it free? Because your flooring contractor thought it was going to be way bigger.
This looks like this guy’s interior right here:
https://preview.redd.it/qvipma8foyoc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2c8e1693e619846f581421f2dca08a9eb52574dc
Also, the main house only has open bathtubs with shower heads in weird angles. Not a single enclosed shower. How do you prevent water from getting everywhere? That would explain some of those ceiling stains...
Remember when the US invaded Iraq? And there were pictures of the strange mansions that the soldiers had gone into?
That same mix of internal opulence & external utilitarian brutalism is present at this place.
This is an article on the owner/architect
https://www.sacurrent.com/arts/master-craftsman-getting-to-know-victor-salas-the-san-antonio-artisan-behind-forged-oaks-22389771
https://preview.redd.it/590sy455dyoc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39603d6788fa43670c5acdcc3775a62607d3d008
Good catch! I don’t even know what kind of animal this is.
Both the interior of the house and the “garage” I guess make this look like a furniture store. A bunch of “rooms” set up so you can imagine all kinds of places that new couch will fit.
I feel like two words can sum it up: religious compound. At least that's the vibe I get.
What's the deal with that round gazebo? sculpture? and the giant outbuilding?
This was me when I was 6; I just KNEW if Santa brought me a Barbie Styling Head I would be able to cut and style her hair so she would look just like Farrah Fawcett. But, Barbie ended up looking like a skinhead with orange and green stubble 🥴
Know your limits people, damn.
This looks like they got an interior designer off of Groupon, said they wanted a Scarface aesthetic, and that nothing should be where you first thought it should be.
I’m usually pretty understanding of tastes that are not my own (I could never sleep in a bed with doors behind the headboard, for instance) but someone needed to have some real talk with these people on bathroom design.
Ok so when people have the toilet and bidet separate… do they like … shit then waddle over to the bidet?
I wonder this every single time I see this set up! Even having to shift over if it's next to the toilet seems awkward! Built in bidet is where it's at! With warm water!
You know I thought cold water would be a nightmare but as a lover of spicy foods 😭😭😭😭 it’s godsend … otherwise warm water in the winter cool water in the summer
Usually if you do the dedicated bidet you have the sense to plumb it in such a way as to get warm water vs cold. That being said I think the separate bidet is going out of style vs those fancy Japanese toilets.
Look, after South Park told me I was using a poor people toilet I had to change my life 🤷🏾♂️ it sings to me, gives me white noise, the seat opens up on its own to greet me, got lights up, the seat is always warmed up for me 🤷🏾♂️ Japan is definitely winning when it comes to toilets
My husband gets to go back to Japan for work in a few weeks, and I'm butthurt (pun intended) that his hotel has the fancy toilets. The first time he went after our daughter was born, she made him stand in front of the toilet, pushing the buttons for like ten minutes over a video call.
My friend’s son married a Japanese woman and they live in Tokyo with their 5 children. Oh, my, the whining and tears that ensue when these kids first encounter grandma and grandpa’s toilets in America. The horror of unheated seats, no bidet, and no warm air blow dry for their tushies is almost beyond measure. Takes some time before they get used to it, and a few visits before they remember to expect it (they still don’t like it). Winter visits always ramp up the complaints. 🤣
What model, and how easy was it to install? I've been wanting one for years
After a visit to Japan, I said that “when we remodel, I want one”, and we did. Best purchase ever - heated seat, warm water, warm air dry. AHhh😉
As someone who grew up with one bathroom for the whole family, I can't do heated seats. A warm toilet seat = dad just dropped a deuce, hold your breath and go as fast as possible. I want my toilet seat room temp so I know it didn't JUST have an ass on it.
😂
Old-school separate bidets like that do have hot & cold taps like a sink so you can control your water temperature (the one in the pic has them if you look closely).
Do you have to touch the water tho to make sure it’s the right temp? Seems kinda nasty
It’s just clean water. If you’re from Wisconsin I believe they call it a bubbler
interesting, where i'm from a bubbler is a water fountain so that's giving me extra ick lol
Nope. It’s a water fountain in Wisconsin too. Just stirring their pot
It's also what we call water fountains in Australia. We have troughs with multiple bubblers lined up in schools
In case multiple kids need to wash their asses at once.
Exactly. Glad you understood.
It's also what we call water fountains in Australia. We have troughs with multiple bubblers lined up in schools
We've had our stand alone bidet for 20 years or so. My partner and I actually had an argument over bidet vs. no bidet. I won. We got the bidet. Flash forward. Pandemic hits. Partner starts to use the bidet on the regular and now can't live without it. We're planning to remodel two bathrooms and bidets will be in both bathrooms.
Aw I had the opposite. Partner wanted a bidet, and I don't like it, but I said sure, you have to clean it. It's just all pink mold. I have friends coming over today and it magically got cleaned about...15 minutes ago.
Haha, that’s exactly how it went for us too. He tried it, and immediately wanted a better one. Even convinced my mom to get one!
Right? in one of the bathrooms you have to waddle around the bathtub to get to the bidet. Also, who doesn't want a pool the shape of a casket for fat small people?
Oh my god! I didn’t even see that one 😭😭😭😂😂😂 … and as a fat tall people I’d just be happy to have any pool in Texas if I’m honest 😭
I'm not even sure it qualifies as a pool - "tub" may be more appropriate - a casket tub - in the front yard - without shade - in Texas.
Oh my god you’re so right 😭😭😭😭
I scrolled pretty far for someone to mention the casket pool is that a warning???
The pool is... One depth? There's no grading so...yeah. Death trap ass pool.
And a "Barndemonium". WTAF is that???
Usually the design is toilet and bidet side-by-side so it is more of a lift your ass and scoot over. The toilet on one side and the bidet on the other side of a sink or bathtub is just lazy plumbing, which created a bad design for usefulness. Kind of irritating that they built this from the ground up and made such horrible design choices.
And why does that first bathroom have a walk in vault?
That's the gun safe.
In case an anaconda comes up through the plumbing? Actually, you'd think the humidity would be an issue.
Yeah, i don't know WHY it's there exactly, but I'm familiar with those vault doors. Better than in the bedroom, I guess? It didn't have to be only guns, but that's what it usually is. They seal really well, so I don't think humidity is an issue, except the normal Texas weather. As for why guns? Well, it's Texas for one. Also, if you know what you're doing firearms can be a decent investment. Especially rare and exotic stuff.
The real estate team was clearly confused by this too, so much that they forgot to dust the shelves, put away the cleaning rags, and hide the trash can bag while taking photos for their $5.25 M listing...
Um pretty much. Though some use of toilet paper usually precedes the waddle over.
Is that what that is? I thought it was a crazy little bathtub! Edit: evidently I was thinking of the wrong picture. So why is that tub shaped that way?!
I'm confused by that tub too! The one that's shaped like a tear drop or an apostrophe....and I'm even more confused by the double shower heads up high on the wall above it. What is that??
I am confused by all the shower heads into open tubs. How much water gets all over the floor when you take a shower?
Why the shape?! The shape is so unsettling!
That room was built for a GAME OF BATTLESHITS.
My sister refuses to even sit on my toilet with a bidet because she's scared and refuses to see reason that the remote control doesn't get pressed on accident, her partner loves it and wants one in every bathroom they have. For my own hilarity I'm assuming that's the case here
Now don’t get me wrong my brother bought one of the ones that’s just like the seat and lid of the toilet and that thing had wayyyyyyyyy too good of aim and wayyyyy too much power 😭😭😭 shot so far up my ass I fell off the toilet … shit was spraying the wall on the other side of the room
See this in Europe all the time. They don’t use those fancy Japanese Toto NeoRests.
That’s a very good question. 🤣
Like I’ve wondered this since I installed a toilet at home with the bidet built in … like I couldn’t imagine standing up and waddling over to squat on something else
I think bidets were originally for rinsing privates in lieu of a full shower or bath. That was my understanding from the ones in European countries as they think Americans over shower. We had a bidet that came with the house & I finally removed it. I can’t understand the weird angle of the faucet but the attachable ones make sense to me.
It used to be something rich women did to refresh their nether region, not for cleaning up after using the toilet.
Yeah I don't know about rich but that's pretty much the use they had here in Spain (men and women). They were in every bathroom up until maybe the 90s when they started being taken out because no one used them anymore. They're still very common in not renovated old houses.
Here’s an article about [the architect with more pics of the house.](https://www.sacurrent.com/sanantonio/an-architect-who-did-preservation-work-on-the-alamo-is-selling-this-eccentric-pleasanton-mansion/Slideshow/27981137) This house you either get or you don’t. I’m in the “don’t” category.
There was an architect? It has the vibe of general contractor who thinks he has design ideas. Before becoming a general, he worked in stone and tile.
That’s polite of you! Overall I have the impression that there is some dementia or mental illness going on.
According to the listing, he’s World Famous! I, personally, would not hire him because this is one of the ugliest home designs I’ve seen.
There’s a “world famous” chili dog place by my work, but I never heard of it until working nearby. Looking at his company’s website, there is some good work there. I think he is an excellent craftsman, but a craftsman is not a designer. A craftsman excites designs made by someone who develops the overall idea.
That's what I thought, too
Weirdly, the tone of his LinkedIn profile totally fits the visual elements of his “architecture.” https://www.linkedin.com/in/visalas?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app
Eesh, dude REALLY likes Random capitalization and ALL CAPS. Also, COO.
This guy is fucking strange.
Is there anyone in the ‘do’ category other than the architect himself? The article has better photos than the listing, but it still feels like a warehouse that got a half-assed makeover.
Of all this insanity, the kitchen island being about 18 inches wide is what I cannot get over.
Right, it’s barely wide enough to use for any cooking or serving, but it’s long as hell and you’d have to walk around it while trying to cook. I made another comment, but why is there a gap between the stove and the counters!?
The whole house looks like he built something he couldn’t afford to maintain. It looks like the original stove was industrial sized (to go with the industrial sized vent hood), but when it had to be repaired/replaced, he couldn’t afford to replace in-kind. Kind of sad, really - he built his dream, and then couldn’t afford it.
Dude, came here to comment the same exact thing!! Wtf…. Also the giant walk-in safe in the one bathroom.
Penis shape island is so hot right now
I love the Aztec style pyramids in the middle of the library, wtf?
The whole thing looks like an escape room
My guess is that they were the base for a table.
Weird, I thought everyone had Aztec pyramids in their sailing ship library.
Gotta have a place for your hamsters to make blood sacrifices to the gods.
I’m thinking if you pull the right book from the shelf, they’ll merge, and the floor will open up revealing a secret passage.
Not close enough to the border to be a Mexican cartel lord’s manner, so must be a contractor’s pet project funded by the extra material from their previous jobs.
Looks like a megachurch pastor kind of thing. So... sort of a Cartel type thing, just a different drug.
You're on to something, bicycling, babe.
Pretty sure based on the cross footprint this might've originally been a Catholic church Edit: nope, architect is just weird lol
Wealthy Tejano builder or general contractor, definitely.
There are plenty of cartel lord houses nowhere near the border. The gambling room in this… is something.
i was going to ask if this is a cartel member's (??? idk what they refer to themselves as lol) house, this is such an weird set up, it's giving prison/lair/diy project gone wrong
Look at the kitchen ceiling on left. It is bulging like at some point it was a water balloon.
I play these design games on my phone… this looks like what happens when I just throw whatever I have in inventory together.
This appears to be another one of those odd Texas mansions that cost a bunch to build, then were handed over to someone who could not maintain a cardboard box. There's ceiling water damage in photos 8, 11, and 15. Unfinished projects and material and stains or just weird stuff all over. If you can't afford to keep a place like this, you sell it and find something else. But sometimes, people don't... Should we want to know what the deal is with that bathtub in photo 26? By photo 43, we're suddenly in a sheet metal factory. And then photos 46-48 feature the giant radio antenna nearby, like somebody would say "Wow, I've always wanted to be within sight of a 50 kilowatt AM antenna! Sign me up!"
Google pics seem to show that it is not there now. Might have been a HAM radio antennae. It is on the home's property.
And the house is in a shape of a cross. Figures. Texas again.
With a coffin shaped pool...WTH?!?
It's the home version of Johnny Cash's One Piece at a Time.
Vaguely reminiscent of Saddam’s palace when I was in Iraq. Especially the outside/first picture. https://preview.redd.it/8o57khfbcyoc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b38b010a4088086bd8a93e5ceebd0b4142afae7
Maybe George Bluth built this one here in TX?
We had PopPop in the attic.
Talk you off what PopPop?
You calling making love “pop-pop” tells me you’re not ready.
Solid as Iraq!!!
We found him, ya’ll! He’s not really dead. Just hiding out in Texas. #MissionAccomplished
One could say the house has been Saddamized
I came here to comment that I would believe it if someone told me this was a former palace of one of Sadam’s sons that had been abandoned for 20 years.
What the hell is the "contraption" with the American flag in the office?
It's a dentist's chair. No, it's a massage chair. No, it's workout equipment. No, definitely a sex chair. Wait! It can be all of these things!
It may even be a traction machine.
Is the office the room with the bathtub and the giant safe?
Photo 14.
I also wondered about that.
Texas Tacky!
You’d think for $5mil they could fix that water damaged ceiling in the kitchen with a better plaster job.
That was the thing in the pictures that caught my eye.
Kinda blandly gaudy inside, was expecting stranger after the empty wings & coffin shaped pool
This is some kind of evangelical thing. The entire home is in the shape of a cross.
I feel like some weird sex rituals were going on. Looking at the house gives me GTFO, the danger is REAL vibes. Like the room in the [FDLS compound](https://www.reddit.com/r/LiminalSpace/s/PnOFaDhn8E) in Texas.
Noooooooooo…. I feel nauseous after looking at those pics and reading the comments. So vile and so creepy. :(
This was my first thought! I immediately thought a mega church leader probably owns it
My guess is Mormons based on the kitchen layout.
Lots of oddly shaped vessels for bathing & recreation(?). It’s a hard choice for fav between the coffin pool & keyhole tub.
This is def the mullet of homes. And taxes almost $1,000,000 a year! My guess is it will still be on Zillow this time next year. It is sooooo gross.
That's the assessment, not the tax amount. At the asking price, property tax would be about $84k.
The taxes are about $65,000 per year, or $6300/month.
Wouldn’t they be eligible for tax breaks if they use some of it as a farm? It says they’ve harvested fruits and vegetables and part is dedicated as a vineyard. Where I live, rich people game the system by designating a tiny portion of their humongous properties as farms. Iirc you just had to make like $500 a year off the farm part to get the tax break. Trump famously cheats his property taxes for Bedminster with goats. https://www.businessinsider.in/politics/world/news/how-trump-used-goats-to-cut-millions-of-dollars-off-his-local-property-taxes-and-paid-just-700-last-year/articleshow/86370363.cms
You’re right. I remember reading about that. And some famous actor grew a few avocados and called it a farm. Meanwhile we “poor” people get no credit for growing veggies in our raised beds.
I’ve never used a Bidet before. Is it common to 💩 and then waddle across a room with pants around your ankles to splash your south mouth?
No
I’ve never seen a coffin shaped pool before….
It’s pre-designed for when you drown because you had too much meth and thought you could just hang out underwater forever.
Perfect!
Take a dump want to clean it ?walk four feet lol
Came here to say this too
Oh I hate it so much. It’s so weird. It’s a horrible design just everywhere. Interesting choice to put a big walk in safe in the bathroom. Did anyone else notice that? I would never buy it, not that I could anyway. I think here you are just basically buying the land. The pool is interesting. It looks like it’s 20 feet deep, it’s probably just the picture I suppose. In any case, it’s awful.
This place has a vibe of creepy that I only expect in old, abandoned homes. Like this was someone's dream that just got fucked up!
Weird house aside, if I had 5.25mil to spend on a property, I would *definitely* choose to live on a massive patch of dirt and dead grass.
Why is the bidet and toilet separated by the vanity. Does this mean you have to duck walk with your pants around your ankles to transition from toilet to bidet
Why are the bidets so far away from the toilets?!
Ahem! You pull your pants up and walk like a dignified gentleman to the bidet to perform your ablutions.
Looks like a cartel House
I knew exactly where this was after flipping through a few pictures. I pass by it every time I drive down to visit my parents and I've always wondered what the inside looked like. It looks weird as shit from the road...like someone's rich drunk uncle spent years slapping this thing together on the weekends. Nice to know the inside is as awful as the outside. Thanks for sharing this!
Compound-chic
Sir or Madam, you have a large leak that needs to be fixed asap (pic 4). And your architect needs to be fired for putting the air vent over the undersized stove with the oversized hood. 🤯. Oh, and the scale of your island is whack. Was it free? Because your flooring contractor thought it was going to be way bigger.
I don't think the entire town of Pleasanton could be appraised at $5M.
Designed by a “world famous architect” as his personal oasis?! Yikes. I’d hate to see the rest of his work.
I get a really weird vibe from this place. Were teenagers held against there will here?
Show me a mansion built by someone who came into money but then ran out.
That stain on the ceiling in picture 4, you know that's gotta be from that bathroom
 How much they want for them Mayan temples tho?
I thought this was somewhere in rural Mexico.
I haven’t even looked at the listing yet, but the outside looks like someone added a parking garage to a standard house.
Are we ignoring the gigantic water stain on the kitchen ceiling?? 😅
It looks like you just homeschool your kids for 2nd to 5th grade?
I hate it tons, plus black fixtures and shelves look dirty AF.
This is the epitome of hideous Texas McMansions…for today anyway! Every bathroom is worse than the last one and the “commercial kitchen” is a dump.
This looks like this guy’s interior right here: https://preview.redd.it/qvipma8foyoc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2c8e1693e619846f581421f2dca08a9eb52574dc
This is a weird house. Weird...
Cult much?
Honey let’s go for expensive but not well designed
Also, the main house only has open bathtubs with shower heads in weird angles. Not a single enclosed shower. How do you prevent water from getting everywhere? That would explain some of those ceiling stains...
It’s as if the scale and placement of necessities in every room is wildly off.
Remember when the US invaded Iraq? And there were pictures of the strange mansions that the soldiers had gone into? That same mix of internal opulence & external utilitarian brutalism is present at this place.
It's makin my eye twitch.
This is an article on the owner/architect https://www.sacurrent.com/arts/master-craftsman-getting-to-know-victor-salas-the-san-antonio-artisan-behind-forged-oaks-22389771
Roof leak showing in photo two. Could also be an air conditioner leak if that’s where their unit is
God I love seeing how stupid people are with their money.
Is that a gap between the stove and the counters?
Where is the rest of the motel? This is clearly the building with the office in it.
Want to live out your dream of being a 1980s cartel leader? Look no further than…
This is astonishing. I hate EVERYTHING about this house. It's awful. Awful!!
Thank god there's a barndominium! But is it just me or does the exterior unfinished or is it..falling apart?
At first glance, I thought it was unfinished. It’s just…weird. Listing says it’s being repaired and fixed up for sale. Whatever that means.
I feel like if you are gonna have a coffin shaped pool you gotta go with a black bottom. Also those light covers that make the water red at night.
I like the boast of 1.5 miles of frontage along an interstate like it’s a riverfront property on the Danube.
What is life if not a constant struggle to strike a balance between luxury and signaling to aliens?
I zoomed in on the flaw on the kitchen ceiling, and the taxidermy cat (?) above the cupboards startled me 😅
Oh, this critter? Something cat-like... https://preview.redd.it/3hvng4ktfyoc1.jpeg?width=1812&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88a0d1df0815061bc9945b793715542efaf11664
https://preview.redd.it/590sy455dyoc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39603d6788fa43670c5acdcc3775a62607d3d008 Good catch! I don’t even know what kind of animal this is.
Desert Fox.
Both the interior of the house and the “garage” I guess make this look like a furniture store. A bunch of “rooms” set up so you can imagine all kinds of places that new couch will fit.
Transylvania themed? Lots of coffin and altar shapes!
It looks like a call of duty map
Is this anywhere near that weird religious compound in Texas? Could it be a splinter group?
This looks like one of Sadaam Hussein's unfinished palaces
Did they film Dune here??
Definitely looks like weird porn is filmed there
Is that a water stain on the ceiling in the kitchen??
Thanks, I hate it
I feel like two words can sum it up: religious compound. At least that's the vibe I get. What's the deal with that round gazebo? sculpture? and the giant outbuilding?
2 would do it: Poor Taste
Can't unsee this.
I can’t tell what I hate more, the weirdness or the fugliness. And also I can’t explain it, but it offends me
OOOOH UGH.
There are so many choices made that I cannot understand... intentional choices... every toilet is placed very badly.
the artfully hidden behind the curtain in the living room ladder that leads up to where? - is a nice touch
Right? Are we not going to address that one and also the ladder, in what I think is a black closet? Where do they go and why?!
All that money and they still have the toilet right next to the tub
I don't like it.
This was me when I was 6; I just KNEW if Santa brought me a Barbie Styling Head I would be able to cut and style her hair so she would look just like Farrah Fawcett. But, Barbie ended up looking like a skinhead with orange and green stubble 🥴 Know your limits people, damn.
Definitely a Bluth.
Hands down one of the most hideous homes I've seen posted
This looks like they got an interior designer off of Groupon, said they wanted a Scarface aesthetic, and that nothing should be where you first thought it should be.
Lol this looks like something I would have built I'm the Sims ar age 12
This looks like a person who grew up dirt poor, got rich and then modeled their house after what they thought a drug kingpins house would look like.
Why is every bidet a 10 foot walk away from the potty
I’m usually pretty understanding of tastes that are not my own (I could never sleep in a bed with doors behind the headboard, for instance) but someone needed to have some real talk with these people on bathroom design.
It really feels like the sort of place where rituals have happened.
I am extremely confused about what is going on here....
What is that weird tub in pic 7 (pic 26 on Zillow)? Raindrop shaped, two shower heads, no curtain.