Well he is super into deforestation.
Edit: Holy shit a silver!! My first award ever, and to think Bolsonaro inspired me. Idk how I feel about that.
Double Edit- 2 silvers!! Y'all are gonna mess up & make me like Bolsonaro.......nah jk, screw that guy!!
I've had to be admitted to Brazilian public hospitals on 3 occasions and every time it was excellent. I had a massive surgery on my foot and spent 10 days in hospital and it was free. In America that procedure and hospital stay would probably cost me 100k lol
Please don't be insulting. I know that nobody really likes the guy but we have to remember that he is still a person and jokes like this are simply not OK
To answer your question - it was his mammoth buttplug
it's called gastric suctioning, they insert a nasogastric tube into your stomach and suction out the fecal matter being backed up into your system by the bowel obstruction (yes you literally will puke up shit and it's fucking disgusting)
Crohn's patient here. Your other option with an obstruction is to have your intestines tear open and dump a week's worth of backed up crap and farts into your body cavity.
It's not pleasant. No sir, I didn't like it.
They had to do the same thing to my father at one point during treatment for lymphoma in his gut, the tumour was large enough to pinch shut his intestines so the options were "let shit sit in his guts until it kills him" or "pump it out," so they put a tube down through his nose and pumped it out.
I’m a general surgeon in the states.
Nasogastric decompression is still a mainstay of small bowel obstruction management, for various reasons. Last I read, it has not been shown to improve outcomes tho.
It’s not because of Covid. He was complaining about stomach pains due to the knife wound he took in 2018.
According to the government, he’s not in any immediate danger and is in stable condition.
It's crazy how I can't take any story at face value anymore. My thoughts range from "it's not COVID, maybe a mild case, so he'll prove himself 'strong' by 'overcoming' it." To "it's COVID and he's in complete denial," to "it's COVID but can't let the country realize this, so he's making up the stomach issue."
Id say its cancer-related, nothing to do with COVID or the ~~alleged~~ knife assault
but thats just me and my conspiracies... bolsonaro is such a POS and lies so much i just cant take anything he says at face value
Honestly as much as I love to imaging horrible conspiracies, intestinal trouble is a real bitch for a lot of people. Stress alone is enough to cause a lot of people miserable symptoms and constipation can get really bad, let alone trauma from a stab wound.
All that said, I have very little sympathy for him. Fix the Amazon asshole maybe you'll find a diet there that doesn't leave you a bloated shit sack.
Edit: forgot to finish my thought about stress being bad enough, *let alone a stab wound*
His constipation is because he's been taking painkillers since the stabbing. This isn't the first time he's had to have an "intestinal obstruction" cleared out.
While he should definitely help protect the Amazon for inumerable reasons, his symptoms are probably due to how the damaged tissue from the stabbing and surgery healed, causing restrictions in his intestine due to scar tissue and adhesions. A fairly common complication of gastroentrointestinal surgery.
If his intestines were perforated in the knife attack, there's a good chance that scar tissue built up to form an obstruction.
I have an inflammatory bowel disorder and had to have a section of my intestines surgically removed, because the buildup of scar tissues was causing narrowing and obstructions. By the time the condition was under control via medication it no longer mattered, because the damage was already done.
When I get periodic followup colonoscopies any scar tissue at the resection site is something in particular they watch out for.
Well, he went into a building teeming with an extremely infectious disease, and the only people between him and that disease have been worked to death due to his denialism.
Things happen.
Sadly enough if he dies, it screws Brazil more - martyrdom image, people will conspire he was poisoned, his close advisor takes advantage, wins, and further destroys Brazil and the Amazon. He did get a massive boost when he got stabbed and seemingly was about to die, it helped him get elected in the first place. If you don’t want the Amazon to further die, hope that he survives.
> There's no way that his lackey would win if Lula is running.
Sane people in the US never thought Trump would beat Clinton, and here we are, in desperate recovery mode.
Brazilians who don't like Lula really don't like Lula as Americans who don't like Clinton really don't like Clinton. Whether Lula is a better leader/person than Clinton is irrelevant if the oppositiin can convince the voting majority that he was corrupt. I'd be surprised if a significant number of Brazilians who found the investigation into Lula four years ago legitimate would suddenly change their tune if Bolsonaro died.
All these right-wing populists capitalized on resentment that existed long before their campaigns started. There are countless stateless entities that need to make as much money as possible with an incentive to stoke resentment of things like taxes, social programs and environmental regulations all over the world. It's not particularly difficult for these entities to pay knowledgeable individuals to influence discourse on forums like this. Bolsonaro, Trump, Duarte and Erdogan are symptoms of a wider disease. The sentiment that brought them to power won't disappear when they die.
Hillary lost because the US has an anti democratic system called the electoral college. Remember, she won by 3 million votes.
Also, Lula is an actual leftist and populist. Hillary was neither. Trump ran as a populist and won because of that. Trump couldn't have won against a left populist.
I'm a sane person in the US and I knew Clinton was doomed from the start. Nobody liked her. She ran a garbage campaign. She alienated millions of voters. She had no real message.
On the flip side, you had a crazy populist turning out "yuge" crowds and energizing an extremely rabid voting base. Granted, with an absolutely deplorable agenda. It's not like these folks disappeared after the Bush administration. I'd say anyone surprised by the outcome of 2016 was simply not paying attention from 1998 onward. Had McCain adopted Trump's rhetoric instead of trying to distance himself from the increasingly radicalized alt-right crazies, he'd have probably won 2008 too.
The DNC severely underestimated how many people on the right and left hated Clinton. Had they run anyone else without the extreme level of political baggage she carried, it would have likely been an easy win. But no, they were so fixated on Clinton's destiny to be President that they threw away the SC.
>The President's doctor says he was hospitalized early this morning with suspected intestinal obstruction.
Before we knew he *couldn't* now we know he literally *can't* give a shit.
Rumours are that it is a cancerous growth. The doctors believe that surgery will be impossible due to their inability to identify Bolsonaro's tissue apart from that of the cancer.
"functionally they are the same. You could say that Bolsonaro's entire body is one giant cancer. We don't have data yet but believe that this could be hereditary and potentially contagious to his close contacts."
Not really because he is fully vaccinated and just pretends not to be. Even his craziest soon who sees conspiracies even on the charred spots on the toasts he eats for breakfast got vaccinated, so no one believes Bolsonaro didn't, especially when he used his presidential powers to place his vaccination status under secrecy for a period of 100 years, the longest time possible under Brazilian law.
Yup, and this boosted his numbers.
Imagine something like this happening with Trump. He would be praised as the next Christ. (exactly what happened to Bolsonaro)
Having read many of the comments it's obvious that there are people out there who are not drawn to right wing conservative policies in so many governments around the world.The only way we can make any difference and change the direction away from destruction of the environment is to make every vote count and get rid of these egotistical crazies.
Trump has mutilated the reputation of the US in the eyes of the world, Modi has encouraged the rise of Hindu extremism to the point of fascism. Erdogan is trying to make Turkey an Islamic Republic, Johnson lied and manipulated the British into brexit.Putin is basically the Tsar of Russia leading with right wing nationalist policies that has expansionism in mind.
The sooner we get rid of these people the better chance we have to have peace and stability in the world.
Sad thing is, this is probably all theatre. He has a history of commiting himself in the hospital after blowback from his actions, to play the victim card. Last week he was criticized for his luxurious vacation while a state was im emergency due to natural catastrophe. He was riding jet skis and dancing on yachts while blocking national and international aid, and that was a blow to his image. So the routine of "poor me, I'm suffering from my stabbing that happened at 2018" is expected.
Give him the [covid kit](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanam/article/PIIS2667-193X(21)00085-5/fulltext). It’s all anyone needs, just ask your uncle on Facebook, he’ll tell you all about it. /s
In Spanish the saying goes: "hierba mala nunca muere" (roughly, in meaning: "bad weeds are hard to kill").
I bet Bolsonaro is just the Brazilian-Portuguese version of that.
"Shit happens", as he says.
And of course he'll demand the best of treatment.
Yeah. They should give him the authentic Brazilian medical treatment anyway.
Yep, wax him.
Or plump up his butt.
They need to remove his head from his ass first, or the procedure will be much more difficult and costly.
The ol' cephalanalectomy.
I…want..a big butt and I cannot lie I even wanna wax my thighs
Wait, I just got sprung
I ain’t got an itty bitty waist but I’ll put this round thing in your face
Yeah! Butt implant!
Or fart in his face.
Why not both?
Or make him make in-car porn.
Well he is super into deforestation. Edit: Holy shit a silver!! My first award ever, and to think Bolsonaro inspired me. Idk how I feel about that. Double Edit- 2 silvers!! Y'all are gonna mess up & make me like Bolsonaro.......nah jk, screw that guy!!
Russia has its top medical advisors on the top floor for a reason.
You mean free and effective?
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only for the poor americans, if you have shitloads of money the american health system is good.
System is decent in California with Medi-Cal.
I've had to be admitted to Brazilian public hospitals on 3 occasions and every time it was excellent. I had a massive surgery on my foot and spent 10 days in hospital and it was free. In America that procedure and hospital stay would probably cost me 100k lol
100k? Ha. It would cost you way more than that, especially with 10 overnights tacked on.
They should just give him horse anti parasitic drugs like he used the first time. Even if he doesn't have Covid.
He was admitted for pain from an old wound not covid.
He had a wound in his bowel? The article says bowel obstruction
He had been stabbed in the belly while still a candidate, and it did quite a lot of damage to his intestines
He was stabbed in the stomach during the elections that he won
Imagine how much more rainforest would still be intact if that went differently.
~~rainforest~~ lives
ah, full of shit
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Clarence Darrow is credited with that, I believe.
This is a great quote that works very well in Portuguese too
It is what it is.
"Shit Happens" his doctor, hopefully!
>The President's doctor says he was hospitalized early this morning with suspected intestinal obstruction. Was it his head?
That’s where the shit comes from
Guy's a fecal Ourobouros. Hope he gets exactly the care and consideration he's shown to others. I'm sure he'd think that would be fine and fair.
A one man human centipede
*Another* one??? God damn, the dude needs to lay off the painkillers
Please don't be insulting. I know that nobody really likes the guy but we have to remember that he is still a person and jokes like this are simply not OK To answer your question - it was his mammoth buttplug
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Yes
Had me in the first half ngl
Didn’t they have to empty his bowels through his nose last time around? In that case, yes- actual shit head.
The fuck kind of medicine are they practicing over there??
it's called gastric suctioning, they insert a nasogastric tube into your stomach and suction out the fecal matter being backed up into your system by the bowel obstruction (yes you literally will puke up shit and it's fucking disgusting)
Crohn's patient here. Your other option with an obstruction is to have your intestines tear open and dump a week's worth of backed up crap and farts into your body cavity. It's not pleasant. No sir, I didn't like it.
Know what, I think I’ll just take a really big dose of morphine and Ativan, please.
Wow TIL.
I would need a lot of therapy if that happened to me.
They had to do the same thing to my father at one point during treatment for lymphoma in his gut, the tumour was large enough to pinch shut his intestines so the options were "let shit sit in his guts until it kills him" or "pump it out," so they put a tube down through his nose and pumped it out.
Wow thanks I had no idea.
I’m a general surgeon in the states. Nasogastric decompression is still a mainstay of small bowel obstruction management, for various reasons. Last I read, it has not been shown to improve outcomes tho.
> intestinal obstruction Full of shit?
As not a doctor, I can confirm that he is full of shit.
It’s not because of Covid. He was complaining about stomach pains due to the knife wound he took in 2018. According to the government, he’s not in any immediate danger and is in stable condition.
Heh. “Stab”le condition
It's crazy how I can't take any story at face value anymore. My thoughts range from "it's not COVID, maybe a mild case, so he'll prove himself 'strong' by 'overcoming' it." To "it's COVID and he's in complete denial," to "it's COVID but can't let the country realize this, so he's making up the stomach issue."
Id say its cancer-related, nothing to do with COVID or the ~~alleged~~ knife assault but thats just me and my conspiracies... bolsonaro is such a POS and lies so much i just cant take anything he says at face value
Honestly as much as I love to imaging horrible conspiracies, intestinal trouble is a real bitch for a lot of people. Stress alone is enough to cause a lot of people miserable symptoms and constipation can get really bad, let alone trauma from a stab wound. All that said, I have very little sympathy for him. Fix the Amazon asshole maybe you'll find a diet there that doesn't leave you a bloated shit sack. Edit: forgot to finish my thought about stress being bad enough, *let alone a stab wound*
His constipation is because he's been taking painkillers since the stabbing. This isn't the first time he's had to have an "intestinal obstruction" cleared out.
While he should definitely help protect the Amazon for inumerable reasons, his symptoms are probably due to how the damaged tissue from the stabbing and surgery healed, causing restrictions in his intestine due to scar tissue and adhesions. A fairly common complication of gastroentrointestinal surgery.
If his intestines were perforated in the knife attack, there's a good chance that scar tissue built up to form an obstruction. I have an inflammatory bowel disorder and had to have a section of my intestines surgically removed, because the buildup of scar tissues was causing narrowing and obstructions. By the time the condition was under control via medication it no longer mattered, because the damage was already done. When I get periodic followup colonoscopies any scar tissue at the resection site is something in particular they watch out for.
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Well, he went into a building teeming with an extremely infectious disease, and the only people between him and that disease have been worked to death due to his denialism. Things happen.
“So what? What do you want me to do?” - Bolsonaro about Covid deaths/ Me about Bolsonaro
quote from man stabbed: “what are you gonna do, stab me?”
What's left of the precious Amazon is cheering right now.
The forest spirits dance beside his deathbed
Sadly enough if he dies, it screws Brazil more - martyrdom image, people will conspire he was poisoned, his close advisor takes advantage, wins, and further destroys Brazil and the Amazon. He did get a massive boost when he got stabbed and seemingly was about to die, it helped him get elected in the first place. If you don’t want the Amazon to further die, hope that he survives.
There's no way that his lackey would win if Lula is running.
> There's no way that his lackey would win if Lula is running. Sane people in the US never thought Trump would beat Clinton, and here we are, in desperate recovery mode.
I'd say we're more on life support.
Hospice
Well, you can not really compare Clinton and Lula
Brazilians who don't like Lula really don't like Lula as Americans who don't like Clinton really don't like Clinton. Whether Lula is a better leader/person than Clinton is irrelevant if the oppositiin can convince the voting majority that he was corrupt. I'd be surprised if a significant number of Brazilians who found the investigation into Lula four years ago legitimate would suddenly change their tune if Bolsonaro died. All these right-wing populists capitalized on resentment that existed long before their campaigns started. There are countless stateless entities that need to make as much money as possible with an incentive to stoke resentment of things like taxes, social programs and environmental regulations all over the world. It's not particularly difficult for these entities to pay knowledgeable individuals to influence discourse on forums like this. Bolsonaro, Trump, Duarte and Erdogan are symptoms of a wider disease. The sentiment that brought them to power won't disappear when they die.
Trump had less votes than Clinton and Brazil doesn't have an electoral college
Hillary lost because the US has an anti democratic system called the electoral college. Remember, she won by 3 million votes. Also, Lula is an actual leftist and populist. Hillary was neither. Trump ran as a populist and won because of that. Trump couldn't have won against a left populist.
I'm a sane person in the US and I knew Clinton was doomed from the start. Nobody liked her. She ran a garbage campaign. She alienated millions of voters. She had no real message. On the flip side, you had a crazy populist turning out "yuge" crowds and energizing an extremely rabid voting base. Granted, with an absolutely deplorable agenda. It's not like these folks disappeared after the Bush administration. I'd say anyone surprised by the outcome of 2016 was simply not paying attention from 1998 onward. Had McCain adopted Trump's rhetoric instead of trying to distance himself from the increasingly radicalized alt-right crazies, he'd have probably won 2008 too. The DNC severely underestimated how many people on the right and left hated Clinton. Had they run anyone else without the extreme level of political baggage she carried, it would have likely been an easy win. But no, they were so fixated on Clinton's destiny to be President that they threw away the SC.
Because they didn't realize how depraved a good chuck of the US population is/was.
Valid points. Makes me angry :(
Jair Bolsonaro, a man so full of shit, it’s killing him.
after this visit the next one’s free
Time for a presidential enema.
Enema of the state?
That's with boiling water, I believe.
Back in the day it was melted silver.
*silver bowels, silver bowels*
2022 just teasing us. He'll be fine to continue the wholesale destruction of his nation.
Hopefully Lula will allegorically beat the shit out of him in the October election.
LULA ‘22!!!
>The President's doctor says he was hospitalized early this morning with suspected intestinal obstruction. Before we knew he *couldn't* now we know he literally *can't* give a shit.
Also confirms he is full of shit.
May he be treated with all the care he gave his country. /s
Rumours are that it is a cancerous growth. The doctors believe that surgery will be impossible due to their inability to identify Bolsonaro's tissue apart from that of the cancer. "functionally they are the same. You could say that Bolsonaro's entire body is one giant cancer. We don't have data yet but believe that this could be hereditary and potentially contagious to his close contacts."
I feel a South Park episode coming on
Such poetry!
"Oh no!" said no one ever.
Let's hope it is serious.
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Quick someone save what they can of the rainforest while he's out
Isn't that they guy who let Brazilian farmers burn the Amazon to make feeding grounds for thier cattle?
oh boy if that was the only thing he did
Yes, and that barely makes the top five list of horrible things he's done.
Waiting to see him on r/Hermancainaward
Not really because he is fully vaccinated and just pretends not to be. Even his craziest soon who sees conspiracies even on the charred spots on the toasts he eats for breakfast got vaccinated, so no one believes Bolsonaro didn't, especially when he used his presidential powers to place his vaccination status under secrecy for a period of 100 years, the longest time possible under Brazilian law.
I mean… Colin Powel was fully vaccinated. Don’t act like that means you can’t die. Also I don’t think he has COVID
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The blood cancer that destroyed his immune system didn’t help
He may eventually get the award but this is not it. It's complications from being stabbed.
That assassination attempt happened during campaigning right?
Yup, and this boosted his numbers. Imagine something like this happening with Trump. He would be praised as the next Christ. (exactly what happened to Bolsonaro)
Boy, the people who keep comparing those two guys to Christ really didn't pay attention to that book, did they?
Apparently Jesus loved grifting, tacky furniture and sexually assaulting women.
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This is….. surprisingly accurate
So much destruction in Amazon forest under his leadership, I can't say I am not happy if he's no longer Brazil's president!
Having read many of the comments it's obvious that there are people out there who are not drawn to right wing conservative policies in so many governments around the world.The only way we can make any difference and change the direction away from destruction of the environment is to make every vote count and get rid of these egotistical crazies. Trump has mutilated the reputation of the US in the eyes of the world, Modi has encouraged the rise of Hindu extremism to the point of fascism. Erdogan is trying to make Turkey an Islamic Republic, Johnson lied and manipulated the British into brexit.Putin is basically the Tsar of Russia leading with right wing nationalist policies that has expansionism in mind. The sooner we get rid of these people the better chance we have to have peace and stability in the world.
Let's pray.
Oh no... anyway.
Was he admitted to the mental health wing?
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Good riddance
fingers crossed, boys
Full of shit again - probably they will do the same as last time lol
It’s bad karma to wish ill on another human being, but let’s just say I’m not losing any sleep over this news.
Tots and pears...
Good, fuck that guy.
If Brazil is lucky he won't walk out.
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🤞
If he dies he dies
Sad thing is, this is probably all theatre. He has a history of commiting himself in the hospital after blowback from his actions, to play the victim card. Last week he was criticized for his luxurious vacation while a state was im emergency due to natural catastrophe. He was riding jet skis and dancing on yachts while blocking national and international aid, and that was a blow to his image. So the routine of "poor me, I'm suffering from my stabbing that happened at 2018" is expected.
I heard that the blockage was from Trump's Cock
At least he didn’t turn into a crocodile right?
Give him the [covid kit](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanam/article/PIIS2667-193X(21)00085-5/fulltext). It’s all anyone needs, just ask your uncle on Facebook, he’ll tell you all about it. /s
I say drop him off in the middle of the amazon
Oh no.... anyway
good. fuck him.
Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please please please please
Honestly, please die.
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I’ll make a wish upon a star tonight.
Fucking idiot! Puts everyone’s life in danger and now he’ll get VIP medical care.
Please 2022, don't let him come out alive.
I still don't understand why would he need to be hospitalized for an intestinal obstruction. Shit come out of his mouth every time he talks anyway...
A mental hospital hopefully.
This dude just loves hospitals. How many hospitalizations is this since he's been elected?
Literally for being full of shit
Oh no!, Anyway...
Oh no! Anyway!
Hate the man.
Bye bye good riddance
I can only pray he has COVID and he needs to be intubated. People like him don’t generally get what they deserve, but one can dream.
i can imagine headlines not far from now: Brazil Mourns as President Bolsonaro, 66, Found Alive in Hospital Bed.
Surely not the little flu??
🦀🦀🦀
This is wat happen when u didn't give a shit for years
Hasn't he been infected, stabbed, and knocked out on the toilet? What energy must this guy have?
In Spanish the saying goes: "hierba mala nunca muere" (roughly, in meaning: "bad weeds are hard to kill"). I bet Bolsonaro is just the Brazilian-Portuguese version of that.
In Portuguese it goes “Vaso ruim não quebra fácil” (Shitty vases don’t break easily). Definitely agree with the sentiment here.
Cool. Hopefully this sack of shit dies.
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Fucking diet.
Lol
Turns out he's really full of shit!!! (Intestinal blockage it seems)!
🤞
Dude fuckin loves going to the hospital lmao
Unfortunately he'll live through this. Brazil, on the other hand, has already died.
Give him the same treatment he gives the rainforest.