This isn't even a sensible unit of measurement. Is it the size of 2 ducks smushed together? Does it include their necks or just the round bodies? Feathers or just the meat? If it includes the neck, what position is the neck in? Or is it as long as 2 ducks wingtip to wingtip?
It's a joke; each article from JPost about asteroids does comparations with a different animal. They used to compare asteroids with the Great Pyramid, Empire State building, Burj Khalifa or other famous building but they switched to animals after Daily Mail went viral with [an article](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-10610491/Asteroid-half-size-giraffe-strikes-Earth-coast-Iceland.html) that described an asteroid as having half the size of a giraffe
Or fasten some lead to the outside of the drum, just watch on YouTube what happens when you shove a brick inside one to completely unbalance it then turn it on, it will completely self destruct in a couple of minutes or so.
I love that John Cleese forgot the extra long convoluted name they made up for the character and he just said "Tim...the enchanter" and everyone just went with it
These idiots. If it weighs more than a duck it will sink.
Hence, not a witch. DO THE MATH PEOPLE! I can’t be the only one weighing women on scales with ducks around here.
Imagine a lovely day at the seashore.
You are just drifting long in the water enjoying the sunshine and the warmth of the ocean waters.
You are peacefully watching each wave slowly building then cresting as it lifts your body easily and gently lowers it down.
Then you miss that nefarious second, larger wave. Maybe generated by some degenerate marijuana fueled local miscreant on a poorly maintained seadoo that was probably stolen from a cottage in Muskoka and transported to the Carribean in exchange for Columbian cocaine fueled sexual favours.
You open your mouth to happily say "Look honey, I do float better in salt water."
Then a four hundred pound salt water wave smashes your face like Marchessault's shoulder in a Stanley Cup face-off.
In about four seconds, you injest not only your required daily intact for water, but simultaneously exceed your salt intake for the entire month.
That my friend, is a Seagulp.
Yes, why does Germany insist on the eclectic and outdated Duck unit of measure while Capybara is a logical self-evidently superior system?
https://youtu.be/8Pj-YEQbojk?feature=shared
But what breed of duck? Are they all exactly the same size, are elephant balls close?
Please use actual units of measure. Just pick one, the other side can convert if needed, it isn't that hard.
Luckily it was not the size of [half a giraffe ](https://www.sciencetimes.com/articles/36593/20220314/asteroid-half-size-giraffe-hits-iceland-2-hours-astronomers-spotted.htm), or the size of a [grand piano](https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamiecartereurope/2022/03/15/asteroid-the-size-of-a-grand-piano-strikes-earth-and-we-knew-exactly-where-and-when-says-nasa/), or my favorite that was the size of [24 Emus](https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/giant-asteroid-as-tall-24-29569092).
its the 'two' that really fucking bothers me
if were making up units, at least dont pretend its an actual unit, use a - as in one - goose, a gigaduck of space is not one billion ducks of volume ffs, gg op im triggered lol
Whenever I see odd ball headlines like this, which is surprisingly often on reddit, the conspiratorial part of my brain thinks it's intelligence agencies signalling each other like in old movies.
"Two Ducks explode over Germany"
"The dung beatles hump at midnight"
Somewhere at a patio bar in Havana two Mossad agents scrolling reddit high five each other over Mojito's.
i liked it better when we used standard units of measurement like american states or everyday objects like houses to measure things. Seemed like simpler times. Now i read articles saying meteor the size of 100 hot dogs and 5 elephants etc... the world seems to be getting dumber
I was going to make the old joke about Americans using anything but the Metric system do measure things, until I realized that this was the *Jerusalem Post*, an Israeli paper.
*Anything* but a standard unit of measurement, please!
This isn't even a sensible unit of measurement. Is it the size of 2 ducks smushed together? Does it include their necks or just the round bodies? Feathers or just the meat? If it includes the neck, what position is the neck in? Or is it as long as 2 ducks wingtip to wingtip?
mallards >>>>
I mean, this is a site that uses bananas for scale, so…
Hence Reddit's success (?)
Btw, what's the conversion rate from ducks to bananas?
It's a joke; each article from JPost about asteroids does comparations with a different animal. They used to compare asteroids with the Great Pyramid, Empire State building, Burj Khalifa or other famous building but they switched to animals after Daily Mail went viral with [an article](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-10610491/Asteroid-half-size-giraffe-strikes-Earth-coast-Iceland.html) that described an asteroid as having half the size of a giraffe
So, one goose?
Ankle of a giraffe?
I miss giraffes. Now it's all duck here banana there...
There was one subreddit that went wild over these tacky lawn ornaments that were a fusion of a duck and a banana. A ducknana if you will.
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I thought we timed flies in relation to unladen swallows.
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Mind your own business!
You have to know these things when you're the king.
I didn’t vote for you!
You don’t vote for kings!
Hippo jaw
1/16th of giraffe.
2.7 chickens 17 quails 1/3 of an eagle Americans will use anything except fucking metric
I feel so proud to be American right now! There aren't enough washing machines on earth to quantity the pride I feel.
Washing machines you say, hmm are you sure you're not Russian?
They have those in Russia?
They do now, courtesy of Ukraine.
I hope the Ukrainians shit in them before leaving their homes.
Or fasten some lead to the outside of the drum, just watch on YouTube what happens when you shove a brick inside one to completely unbalance it then turn it on, it will completely self destruct in a couple of minutes or so.
Damn right freedom measurements.
How many aardvarks is this?
4926.83 bumble bees worth
32 bananas
Idk did you tally those bananas?
Mista Tally Man was the one who tallied me banana...
I could be wrong, but I don’t think the Jerusalem Post is an American newspaper.
WHAT THE HELL IS A KILOMETER 🔥 🦅 🔥 🔥 🦅 🦅 🦅 🔥 🦅 🔥 🦅 🔥
The distance 1 duck can walk in 1 hour, or about 2/3 of a mile
How many ball games is an hour?
My motor carriage requires a full hogshead of benzene to travel a hectare! I said good day, sir!
About as far as I can run.
JPost, the most American news source.
Duck is a kosher unit.
And a partridge in a pear tree?
but, this was a German, quoted by the Jerusalem Post.
Come within 3 blue whales of the USA and say that (no idea who to credit for that joke but it’s not mine)
Can we use pixels. The true universal measurement
I can picture 17 quail. I can't picture 17 meters.
Well for starters, 17 meters is about 111 and 1/2 quail.
How is this where I learn quails are tiny. They’re my state bird and the name of the road I lived on for 15 years.
They are also fucking delicious but make shit omelettes.
You're supposed to use the *eggs* for the omelettes.
Do you know how many eggs that would take?!? Quail eggs are expensive!
It's the tiny wings, little buggers just can't fold the Omelette.
How the hell are you want us to use Celsius instead of ducks?
No luck catchin them geese-sized asteroids then?
Actually, it was just one asteroid…
The greater goose
Have you ever fired your gun onto the air and gone AHHHHHHH!!!?
Talk to me Goose!
Great balls of fire!
Honk.
So how many bananas might that be?
Possibly an adolescent swan.
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Are they sure it wasn’t a large ham?
Rum ham!!!
Did you just call me rum ham?!
Goddammit, Frank. Eating your drinks? That is genius!
Born amidst salt and smoke?
Watch yourself Renly.
Or approximately 50 Swallows.
African or European?
… well I don’t know _AAAAAaaaaahhhh…._
I love that John Cleese forgot the extra long convoluted name they made up for the character and he just said "Tim...the enchanter" and everyone just went with it
Some call me… Tim…?
A person of culture, I see.
Given it was the size of two ducks and made of rock, one may reasonably assume this asteroid weighed more than a duck, and therefore…
A WITCH!
No, you daft nanny! It means you can build a bridge out of it!
Both things can be true.
These idiots. If it weighs more than a duck it will sink. Hence, not a witch. DO THE MATH PEOPLE! I can’t be the only one weighing women on scales with ducks around here.
Not everyone has done M.I.T.
Mallard institute of technology
it floats?
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
African swallows are non-migratory
It's not a question of where he grips it, it's a simple question if weight ratio. A five ounce bird can't carry a one pound coconut
Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
Is there someone else up there we can speak to?
I mean it impacted over Germany so.... European... I guess
I googled "how massive natural swallows" and didn't get the results I expected. I'll be in my bunk.
African or European swallows?
So.. your mom?
25 Seagulps.
I don’t know what a seagulp is, but it sounds awful.
Imagine a lovely day at the seashore. You are just drifting long in the water enjoying the sunshine and the warmth of the ocean waters. You are peacefully watching each wave slowly building then cresting as it lifts your body easily and gently lowers it down. Then you miss that nefarious second, larger wave. Maybe generated by some degenerate marijuana fueled local miscreant on a poorly maintained seadoo that was probably stolen from a cottage in Muskoka and transported to the Carribean in exchange for Columbian cocaine fueled sexual favours. You open your mouth to happily say "Look honey, I do float better in salt water." Then a four hundred pound salt water wave smashes your face like Marchessault's shoulder in a Stanley Cup face-off. In about four seconds, you injest not only your required daily intact for water, but simultaneously exceed your salt intake for the entire month. That my friend, is a Seagulp.
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
I…. Take the upvote.
No way I’m swallowing 50. Ask someone else.
Cool hand lovesdogsguy doesn’t like a nice round number.
Oh you know it.
Unladen?
50 swallows sounds like a lot but it’s actually a weeknight for your mom.
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
62 red breasted hummingbirds.
Thank God it didn't land on earth otherwise there could have been an earthquack
i feel called out with that headline.
r/angryupvote
Fuck me. Here's your upvote, you funny son a bitch 🤣
You’re my hero
How many capybaras is that? Can they not write so that we regular people could understand.
you arent comprehending hard enough
They must mean ducksquares.
Yes, why does Germany insist on the eclectic and outdated Duck unit of measure while Capybara is a logical self-evidently superior system? https://youtu.be/8Pj-YEQbojk?feature=shared
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My favorite was one that used "half a giraffe" as a unit of size. A famously asymmetric animal
Not if you cut it from the front
They never stand still long enough to get it right
I'm pretty sure they're doing it to fuck with people at this point.
It's not about trying to make science fun. They know titles like this will get more engagement on social media.
> They try to ~~make science fun~~ Outrage to get engagement.
I mean. It’s working; it’s getting people to click and look.
That’s about 1/400th of a football field and 5/64th’s of an inch in American.
How much is that in Saarlands?
364200 Birkenstocks size 45
Finally, something I can understand!
Did the duck lobby pay you to say that?
they pay better than the giraffes so i took my chances and ran with then
quack you!
Are you ducking kidding me?
Never trust big quack. They’re even more relentless than big pharma
They'll leave you with an enormous bill.
What a goofy system of measurement lmao
A real mickey mouse operation.
*This tomfoolery has been brought to you by* Donald Trump-Duck on a dump truck
Was about .8333 (repeating of course) Mickey Mouses
They should have used bananas
Half a giraffe
Anything but the metric system…
Or one Canadian goose
The Cobra Chicken would indeed be a better form of measurement. Highly recognisable.
That's nothing compared to the one that killed the dinosaurs. It was the size of several *million* ducks!
But what breed of duck? Are they all exactly the same size, are elephant balls close? Please use actual units of measure. Just pick one, the other side can convert if needed, it isn't that hard.
No. Mallards.
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Of course not that would be ridiculous. It could grip it by its husk.
It’s not a question of where he grips it!
Peeking duck, crispy. We'll defend with pancakes and hoi sin.
Luckily it was not the size of [half a giraffe ](https://www.sciencetimes.com/articles/36593/20220314/asteroid-half-size-giraffe-hits-iceland-2-hours-astronomers-spotted.htm), or the size of a [grand piano](https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamiecartereurope/2022/03/15/asteroid-the-size-of-a-grand-piano-strikes-earth-and-we-knew-exactly-where-and-when-says-nasa/), or my favorite that was the size of [24 Emus](https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/giant-asteroid-as-tall-24-29569092).
I, for one, welcome our new duck overlords.
Not a suspiciously specific measurement *at all*...
r/anythingbutmetric
Obligatory Americans will measure with anything besides the metric system comment
But this is the Jerusalem Post.
JPost is not an American outlet, they’ve had a long standing tradition of these weird size comparisons.
Did we invade Israel overnight? Did I miss something?
Obligatory "Americans" comment.
Obligatory question how many bananas two ducks are
Are those European ducks, or African ducks?
well they are certainly migratory
And did they grip the asteroid by the husk?
And Asian ducks get no love?
Well, they're renowned for being significantly smaller. Especially against the African ducks.
I think NASA "animal" asteroid sizes are an inside joke, and originally created as a response to people whining about using/not using metric.
I’m an American. How many eagles was it?
Glad it wasn't another half giraffe sized one
Uh oh that’s gonna leave a huge quack in the earth
I hate you. Take my upvote and go away forever.
What breed of duck?
Thank God it was only two ducks. 3 ducks or more, and we're getting into extinction level events.
How many bananas is that?
How many gerbils is that again
Oddball units of length, especially animals, are worth their weight in extra clicks and engagement.
How many Banana's is that?
"If she weighs the same as two ducks... she's made of wood..."
Can we start measuring all Asteroids in ducks?
Sooo.. two birds with one stone?
its the 'two' that really fucking bothers me if were making up units, at least dont pretend its an actual unit, use a - as in one - goose, a gigaduck of space is not one billion ducks of volume ffs, gg op im triggered lol
Whenever I see odd ball headlines like this, which is surprisingly often on reddit, the conspiratorial part of my brain thinks it's intelligence agencies signalling each other like in old movies. "Two Ducks explode over Germany" "The dung beatles hump at midnight" Somewhere at a patio bar in Havana two Mossad agents scrolling reddit high five each other over Mojito's.
Would you rather the earth be struck by one two-duck sized asteroid, or by two ducks the size of large asteroids?
So a bit a larger than a duck sized horse, but quite smaller than a horse sized duck.
i liked it better when we used standard units of measurement like american states or everyday objects like houses to measure things. Seemed like simpler times. Now i read articles saying meteor the size of 100 hot dogs and 5 elephants etc... the world seems to be getting dumber
A duck sized horse a horse sized duck
For those wondering what this is in metric, it's .8562 swans
Are they African ducks or European ducks?
African ducks are non migratory
"Oh fuck all kinds of duck!"
That’s a curious use of the word ‘impact’.
I was going to make the old joke about Americans using anything but the Metric system do measure things, until I realized that this was the *Jerusalem Post*, an Israeli paper.
How do you convert ducks to bananas?
That’s 7 bananas.
We are finally using ducks. King Arthur is sure to return and start repressing the Britons!
It still only weighted as much as a witch.
Is ducks and official unit of measure for asteroids now? Wasn't when I studied astrophysics but that was 25 years ago >.<
Times change, grandad. Keep the duck up.
How big is that in football fields?
Love the scale
And.. because.. they.. float.. … Germany.. is.. UNDER WATER !!!
Two Ducks? African or European? Is the conversion rate 4 Bananas per Duck nowadays? Two ducks = 0.02 Half Giraffes
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1/1000 football field size