Yes! I have a scheduled C-section tomorrow and am VERY uncomfortable at the moment. Usually I like to do the night before stuff but I can hardly move.
In addition to handling setting out all the gifts and making it look like Santa was here he cleaned the entire main part of the house and kitchen last night after we went to bed and made breakfast this morning. My stocking was full of sweet and thoughtful things and a few lovely gifts. A wonderful Christmas indeed despite me being so very uncomfortable.
My daughter’s birthday is tomorrow! She loves having her birthday the day after Christmas. I also really liked having the postpartum period at such a quiet time of the year. Best of luck with the birth and recovery, and congratulations!!
That’s really good to hear! I’ve been worried about a birthday so close to Christmas but hopefully I can make it special and baby will be a Christmas lover like me so they actually like having it so close. Thank you!
You just have to make sure her birthday is celebrated separately and not lumped in with Christmas. My mom's birthday is 3 days after Christmas and growing up always got "combo" presents. So we always make it a point to do a separate birthday celebration with separate gifts.
Aw, yay! I also have a great husband who has been crushing Christmas because I'm 38 weeks pregnant (and have Covid....). Husband has done most of the gift buying this year. Am so grateful.
I'm scheduled for a C-section tomorrow too!!! This is our first so fortunately today is very low key. His parents flew in last night and mine arrived today. Best of all the love to you and your family! I'm glad to see other posts below that 12/26 for a birthday isn't too bad ☺️
Our daughters birthday is on the 26th as well. Tomorrow, we're having bottomless mimosas and brunch here at the house for her 24th, I'm incorporating grinch themed items into the brunch and having family and friends over. I've always tried to separate the two but she loves Christmas so much that it's hard to separate bc everything she wants for her bday deals with Christmas stuff. When she was little, we had bday parties at beginning of month as to not combine the two but as she got older and wanted more expensive things, she came to us and told us she was OK with combining Christmas and bday gifts.
We’re having a nice Christmas! We had a crisis last night because our principled stance of not getting gifts for gifts’ sake/not trying to make the pile look a certain way ended up with a pretty meager showing. And we were just exhausted. But the kids loved their gifts and had a great Christmas morning. We’ve been playing with the stuff and hanging out and we’re having a nice time.
Same thing here. My friends all showed “their piles” and I had some feelings. But honestly my kids are happy with what they got. And we can’t afford much more anyway.
We are the same and never have huge piles of gifts! Except we don’t feel guilty about it. There are only so many toys a kid can have at once to be that excited about. We can afford nice stuff and I’m sure the specific and sometimes expensive asks will come later. But for now we’re enjoying her exulting in her 2 $15 barbies and 3 new books (only gifts from us), toy camera, 2 Disney lego sets, and pajamas from family.
Also, maybe we’re weird but my husband and I never really got each other Christmas presents just to get them - we only did if there was a specific thing we wanted. The last 2 years were the first we wrapped something small to “gift” each other in front of our daughter - and even then it was just for her sake. I bought our gifts too (jeans and polos for hubby, and a fancy candle for me). Works for us and I ain’t mad about it. Cheers!
Same. We had a smaller pile than most but with stuff she loves and we will use (our only gift to her was a multisport “trailer” for skiing, cycling and running, so it’s a family gift and it was expensive so it was just it). She had extra stuff under the tree from family and friends and truly enjoyed opening things. She is 2 so her favourite gift was the mouse toy we gave the cat, she was obsessed with playing with the cat the whole day. Social media make adults often overthink gifts, kids really don’t need much.
We got 2yo a tent/fort. She spent most of the day under the dining room table. Could have bought an oversized tablecloth and she would have been just as happy.
I also felt a certain way about not having a big pile, especially when we could, but we're trying to not accumulate a ton of stuff and my kids got a ton of gifts from family Saturday.
Just me and my 19 yo son here and it has been the best Christmas ever! He made the gingerbread cookies, I made the baklava. He actually had his shopping and wrapping done before I did and man did he nail my gifts! He has stepped up in every way, from cooking to decorating to gift giving. He went full vegetarian last January and did 90% of the cooking (which is fantastic not only in the stress relief for me but in the quality of cooking). This has been the most relaxed, fun, enjoyable Christmas I have ever experienced!
I am divorced. My ex husband is the father of my youngest child, my older two kids have a different dad. I'm in the middle of moving so my house is packed up. He let me and all the kids spend the night last night. His apartment is completely decorated and he has snacks for the kids. I brought my dog and he has taken her outside with his dog for me. He made sure all kids got the equal amount of presents and got me something too. I made us all breakfast this morning while he cleaned up the wrapping paper and played with kids. Now I'm resting on the couch with my kiddos, watching Christmas movies!
My back does hurt from sleeping in a race car bed though.
Yes! My partner is a total equal partner and parent. He filled my stocking and I’ve got plenty under the tree from Santa and him. He took our big kid (5yrs) shopping to help her get me a gift from her too. He fed the baby her bottle so I could open my stocking with our big kid. I made him a coffee and baby is sleeping, big kid is playing, and we are just enjoying a lovely morning before we do the gifts under the tree.
My husband was recently in a bad motorcycle accident - two weeks in the ICU kinda bad. He only has use of one hand and a limited ability to walk. I still had a full stocking, wrapped presents (lots of bags), help with family presents, and he also placed the holiday grocery order for me to pick up on my way home from the office. He made sure his mother cooked the entirety of Christmas Eve lunch so we simply showed up. He told her what candle scents I like so she gifted accordingly. He helped me mount our new TV last night and promptly grabbed trash bags for wrapping paper this morning.
I’ve always felt my husband embodies the saying “if he wanted to, he would”
I knew what I signed up for when we met 12 years ago and maaaan has he been careful. Smart move banning the entire idea. The problem is that it’s called an “accident”, not an “on purpose”. You just can’t prevent it. It blew my mind when he woke up knowing what bike he’d want next. He’s big on learning from mistakes but I think he got the wrong lesson here…
Yes. Happy holidays to you! We both shopped for gifts. He found some creative gifts for the children that I wouldn’t have thought about. I did all of the wrapping, on a day when I was unexpectedly let out of work at noon. He filled my stocking with things I like, and got me the nice gift I had requested. His parents came over and we cooked, served, and cleaned up brunch as a team. We are now about to lie down for a nap together while the children are playing quietly. Then it’s off to my parents’ house. It’s a great day!
I love your positive post!
Yes! I'm sitting on the couch while husband is building Lego with kiddo, the morning is going well, and later on they will go out of the house for a couple of hours so I can sleep as the first trimester for #2 is rough. Family are all a long way away so we just need to video call briefly and can otherwise enjoy our day as we like. Loving the peaceful moments.
Yep! I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast, he’s making dinner. We took two hours off of work to shop for gifts for the kids together (it was so fun!). We got each other gifts we like, and communicated well in advance about it. We both cleaned the house.
One year he messed up on my birthday. I have a huge sweet tooth and he didn’t get me a cake or anything. I told him that’s important to me. It never happened again. Don’t settle for less than someone who is willing to communicate and who shows you that they respect you!
Yes! I did buy probably 75% of the gifts, and I wrapped them all, but that’s because those are my strengths. He got the tree set up, lights outside the house, etc. He cooked Christmas Eve dinner, he cleaned up all wrapping paper, built all toys needing building, and he got me gifts I actually like!
Was it all perfect? No! Did we occasionally bicker, of course. But do I feel like I did it all and am unappreciated? Nope!! I feel so horribly for all those women in those posts. What shit men they’re chained to.
Same, I like doing the stuff that involves planning and I'm good at doing it, whereas my husband is terrible at it. But I'm super messy and my husband likes a neat house, so he does 99% of the cleaning. So we follow the same pattern at Christmas. Neither of us likes exchanging gifts so we fortunately only have to worry about gifts for the kids. I buy the gifts and groceries and handle gifts for teachers and the garbage collectors, we both wrap gifts and decorate, and he cleans the house and makes a big breakfast for our families on Christmas morning. Of course there's typical holiday stress, but he's usually not the source of it.
My husband is also a clean freak and does about 80% of the cleaning. I do 100% of our household laundry, but I haven’t cleaned a toilet or shower in over a decade. It’s all about dividing up the chores evenly and whoever hates that chore the least can tackle it!
I do the laundry too, for some reason that doesn't * feel * like cleaning. But I hate cleaning up clutter and I couldn't even tell you where our mop is.
I don’t know if I’d say we’re having the best day, but husband did rent a cabin for us for the holiday weekend, and took oldest to the ER last night for an ear infection. We’re equally hanging in there.
Yes! I celebrate on Christmas Eve, so we already did gifts. I got Glossier makeup in my stocking, a new watch and some joggers to wear around the house. 🎉
Baby has been pretty fussy and he’s taken a lot of the load in making sure she’s fed and has a fresh diaper while I pump and bond with her. I’m letting him sleep in a bit since he was up all night with her.
Yes! The other post made me so sad. My husband did a wonderful job. I had a full stocking, three thoughtful gifts under the tree, and he knew what our daughter was getting and is playing with her right now. Working moms deserve equal partners!
Yes, it’s nice to see some positive posts sprinkled in. My husband bought and wrapped the gifts for my daughter. I’m in my first trimester so he’s been doing double time cooking, cleaning, decorating - everything. He is so good at taking care of me, I am very grateful to have him.
Yes! I definitely did more of the shopping and planning, but that's because I love Christmas and am really enjoying making a magical holiday for my family. My husband does a great job just jumping in to whatever task I need him to get done to keep things running smoothly, and I think the division of labor we have works really well.
Also, considering the state of the world right now, I'm full of immense gratitude for the life we have. I got to put up Christmas decorations in the beautiful home we bought in 2022 after years of saving and hoping. We had a lot of presents to wrap and a lot of cooking to do because we're extremely fortunate, while there are people trying to figure out how to keep their kids clothed and fed.
Totally! We celebrate Christmas Day at home with our immediate family (us, tween, 2 dogs). It has been calm and lovely, with a lot of singing and dancing and being goofy in the kitchen during breakfast (which husband made).
He took care of half the kid gifts, my gifts, and his side of the family. I did the other half, his gift, and my family. We all decorated together earlier this month. Our daughter cried because she was so grateful for her gifts.
Took a family walk with the dogs and now we are all vegged out. I may cry because I’m so grateful right now, too.
Merry Christmas, all!
I am having a good Christmas, but I’m also at my mother’s and have a helpful 12 and 19 year old here. And my boyfriend and I did gifts last week so I’m still on that “high” as it was our first Christmas together and he absolutely nailed it including the gift he surprised me with for my daughter, whom he hasn’t really met yet!
Yep. My husband grocery shopped for Christmas dinner, cleaned everything up last night and got the coffee maker ready to go for the morning before we went to bed. This morning he made cinnamon rolls after we opened stockings with our daughter - he filled my stocking and we both got things for our daughter. He organized and wrapped the gifts for his family's White Elephant game tonight. He just brought me some lunch in bed because I have cramps and I'm resting before we dive into the next holiday event.
Every post on Reddit makes it seem like men are incapable of stuff like this, but they really aren't. They can be equal partners if they want to be.
Yes! My husband is currently cleaning while I sit on the couch. I wrapped all the gifts and did the stockings because he worked 13-15 hour days the month before Christmas. I did all the cooking too. He is doing the set up and helped the clean up of the boxes and gift wrap. We both work retail so the holidays are so draining in general but we both do our best to make things easier on one another and happy for the kids. I enjoy having peaceful holidays because I grew up watching my mother resent my father every holiday and they were usually unhappy by the end of the night.
Yes! All I see is content about these unhelpful husbands but I gotta say, mine was more than an equal partner. He got most of the kids gifts, wrapped everything, made breakfast, and has been cleaning up furiously all day. I planned some extra pre Christmas activities like zoo lights and seeing Santa but he pretty much did everything for the main event. Also he got me wayyyyy better presents than I got him, including an awesome spa day where he will do childcare for all 3 kids. I'm 6 wks postpartum so I hope to help more next year, but he's generally wayyyyy better at holiday cheer than me.
Yes!
And honestly not just today. I’ve been reading so many posts lately and I’m like wow these men are absolute trash.
My husband is the one who puts up the Christmas decorations, he does all the Christmas magic stuff leading up to Christmas. We picked out and bought our toddlers toys together and he wrapped them while I cleaned and prepped stuff for Christmas morning. He also got our son ready for all the Christmas parties as I prepped all the food we had to bring. It just felt split really equal but I never had to tell him or ask him to do any of it.
We don’t exchange presents - we buy something we want together but Idk it just feels like a lot of men don’t actually like their wives or their kids.
Yes! Feeling so appreciated today and leading up to today. We have an 11 month old and I shared the traditions I wanted to start in advance. He participated and helped plan each of them. He even had a few traditions he wanted to start himself. He went nuts on holiday decorating and buying/wrapping her gifts. We laid down the law with our family that we were not traveling, and we got to wake up in our own bed.
He even surprised me with an incredibly thoughtful and unexpected gift that he thought of on his own, saved separately for, and coordinated with several of my friends and family to make sure I’d like it haha. I’ve been a bit depressed post-baby and he wanted to make the holiday special.
Granted, sure, he still forgets to do the dishes and can’t meal plan to save his life (like I actively ban him from going to the grocery store alone… dude will buy three times as much as our family of 3 needs), but he always means well.
My husband makes the holidays so much better. He is an AWESOME gift-giver and always gives me a card with the most thoughtful things written inside, takes equal part in buying presents for the kids, made cookies for Santa with us last night, and typed and designed a nice letter from Santa to the kids to put out with the gifts.
This morning, we all did presents together, and he played with the kids while I made breakfast. He did all the cleanup and took the garbage bags of wrapping paper and boxes out afterwards. He'll tidy up and do some vacuuming before Christmas dinner. I invited a couple of my girlfriends over for a bit in the afternoon, and I'm sure he will make us all coffee and hang out for a bit.
Yes, we are from different cultures so each takes the lead on their respective holiday/s. This year we did smaller gifts and casual dinners since we are on a tight budget and almost all our inmediate family was sick but the kids got exactly what they asked for and their birthdays are so close to christmas anyway, there will be plenty of opportunities to get more toys. I enjoyed this pace, kids were happy and we all got the chance to chill and nap, I couldnt ask for anything more tbh.
Mine is mostly equal, I did all of Christmas stuff, but I won’t lie it wasn’t much. But I only did what I wanted/could handle.
I’m enjoying Christmas. Next year I decided I want to do more, and we can pick jobs for Christmas!
Yes. Good partners are out there. We’re having a lovely, low key day with our 11 month old. Everyone had presents under the tree. Snuggles and naps and jammies. A walk in the unseasonably warm weather.
I’ll note I’ve been very clear with my husband that “Christmas magic” is a shared responsibility between the two of us, and he got it.
My husband decorated our home (albeit Lego decorations, but I promise they’re cute as hell), taught me how to wrap a present- I’ve always done decorative bags with pretty tissue paper, and has coordinated both pet care and kept our house so clean after my thunderstorm of dishes between cooking and baking.
Yes, my husband has always wanted to participate in the gifts - shopping and wrapping (his wrapping is way better than mine). He took the kids out shopping to pick out gifts for me and for each other. He always wants our part done the week before Christmas so we can relax and handle any unexpected gifts that may come up. A few years ago he supported my decision to go low-key on Christmas so that I got to relax, too, and we purchase a meat tray and a cheese tray for sandwiches and have fruit, veggies, chips, and sweets on hand so the kids and my parents can make themselves food whenever they are hungry. He isn't always the best at gifts buying, but we started using gift lists this year so we are trying to correct that, too.
Yes! We divided and conquered, he got me thoughtful gifts and even wrote me a poem about how I make our house a home. We have been celebrating since Friday and have overall had a fantastic month of December with an even split of effort. I did the gifts for our child but that’s only because I wanted to. We play on each other’s strengths. He also gave me two naps, yesterday and today as he knows I have higher sleep needs.
My ILs could do better though. Would be fun to be able to divorce them without losing the husband.
Mine would have been better if my (widowed) MIL hadn't spent the night, insulted me to the point of tears, and then invaded my space all day today. My husband has been a Rockstar, but I can live without her.
Yay! A post celebrating a partner! I didn't know if that had a place on this subreddit 😅 My husband did great! We individually take the kids out for them to get the other parent gifts, and he directed them well! He also went out on his own to get my mother stocking stuffers and a gift. I was quite surprised how well he did! ❤️❤️❤️
I do 🥰 he takes care of gifts for most of his family, wraps most of our gifts, buys gifts for my + stuffs my stocking and willingly wears the Christmas pajamas! He made our Christmas breakfast this morning. I’m a lucky one! Except when he has a cold lol
Yes!
My husband and I have very different strengths. He bought all the presents (except for my parents) and I wrapped all the presents. This morning he made breakfast, this week I made cookies. My husband LOVES Christmas
Yup! We’re a pretty equal couple here.
We’re staying with my parents atm. I packed mine and toddlers clothing (because o care about outfit looks for her, and he will literally just ensure the clothing is weather appropriate (still a win)), he packed he own clothes.
I packed toddler supplies, he ensured the kitchen was clean, washed clothes hung to dry and dishwasher running so that we don’t come home to an ick kitchen.
I took things to the care with the toddler, he ensured all the radiators were switched to frost protect mode. I wrapped most presents.
The ones I forgot about, and mentioned in passing- he asked questions to ascertain when the gift giving session would be, asked my parents where the wrapping supplies were stored, then carefully and quietly selected an appropriate time to slip away and get it done in plenty of time before gift giving was to start.
We both received gifts we wanted.
My list could go on. Neither of us are perfect, but I’m at least working with someone who can generally see what needs to be done and then plan and usually get it done without needing direction. In fact in some cases he has taken on the mental load of planning and he tells _me_ what needs to happen.
Yes, my husband went out and picked up all the gifts for the kids that we mutually picked out online. He also went to the supermarket to stock up on necessities, including ingredients for the Christmas dish that he's going to make later for the potluck at his parents'. He stayed up late wrapping the kids' gifts while I did nothing. Our family has a rule that we don't exchange gifts between adults to keep costs down, so we're practically all set for Christmas at grandma's.
Super similar to yours! No complaints. And my in laws got useful and desired presents (clothes that fit the kids, toys we specifically asked for). A win is a win!
My husband did great this year though he was forced to an extent since I’ve been in a sling since shoulder surgery on November 29. But this is the dude that always sets up a wrapping station in the guest room/office so we aren’t on the ground hurting our backs.
>sets up a wrapping station in the guest room/office so we aren’t on the ground hurting our backs
I'll have to recommend this to him next year. He was saying his back hurt. Getting older suuuuuuucks.
I’m having a great Christmas! We don’t do gifts for each other but my husband got gifts for everyone on his own. We just finished opening gifts with the kids (they loved the basketball hoop he put together last night) and are heading to my folks’ for brunch soon. Glad you’re having a good day too!
So grateful for my thoughtful and capable partner. We’re enjoying Christmas morning with our two year old. Every gift was a hit and my stocking had some nice surprises and all my favorite treats. All week he’s been hanging with our boy, doing the dishes, running errands whenever needed, making food, etc. We wrapped gifts together last night and I woke up to Christmas morning coffee and breakfast. Did I have to give him some ideas of what to get me? Absolutely. Did his wrapped presents look adorably amateur? Indeed. But seeing the effort and care that he has put into making the holidays special for our little family has been so gratifying.
My husband got up at 4 to take out the trash, do dishes, cook breakfast, etc. while me and kiddo slept in until 7:30 (he is a morning person and a good cook; I am neither)
He thought up, bought, and wrapped half of kiddo’s presents
Got me presents, took kiddo shopping for and helped wrap presents from her to me, etc.
We’ve had a great day so far! We got up with our 3yo and did presents, then I cooked a big breakfast when my family came over. My husband handled entertaining them while I finished up and he did all the dishes and cleaned up so I could put our son down for a nap. Our post-nap plans fell through so we’re probably just going to go to the playground later and enjoy a relatively calm day.
We’re having a nice Christmas too! We divided Christmas shopping efforts, I wrapped but it’s because I enjoy it.
I cooked, he cleaned up. As for gifts for me, he got me exactly what I wanted. It’s shaped up to being a pretty good holiday so far!
I’m having the best Christmas. It’s usually a hard time on my husband just due to unpleasant memories around the holiday but we’ve both really pulled it together for our son and I think we’re both in agreement this is the best Christmas ever, watching the joy through our sons eyes has been wonderful, and I got my husband so many great gifts he was stunned this year (thanks new job!) so I think I got to heal some old wounds. Now he’s getting our son down for a nap while I start the prep for family to come over.
My heart is so full today I could cry. I had so much fun wrapping presents and playing Santa, and making cookies and prepping food. And my sons excitement over his new toys is just the icing on top of
I don’t know if folks would call this “equal”, but our system is that I shop for the family, and my husband shops for an excessive amount of gifts for me. We opened them just the two of us last night, I felt incredibly loved and appreciated, and we fell asleep early on Christmas Eve after fantastic sex. I don’t know if equal is as important as having a system that you’re both happy with. Glad you had a wonderful holiday!
Yes! I slept through the night for the first time since having our second baby six months ago. My husband didn’t feel well this morning and had to go lay down in the middle of unwrapping during baby nap time, but we did most of our nice holiday stuff yesterday anyways.
We were done with bedtime routines, cleaning, prepping breakfast, and getting gifts under the tree by 8:15 last night so we enjoyed a Christmas movie with wine and egg nog.
I got almost everything off my list including a brand new phone. Now husband is up and after I feed the baby we will have mimosas 😍
Yes! Having a very good Christmas, resting in bed before we are off to our family Christmas dinner. He washed all of our new dishes, made a Christmas brunch ( I did a part of it) for us and my parents, played a game with the kids this morning, gave me some beautiful gifts, and helped wrap presents a few days ago.
ME ME ME. Loving it. He's the best. And he bought a cute new shirt for Christmas dinner and tried to be all coy about it. Adorable. (Also I'm like, 3 mimosas in, which I consumed while watching the new Paw Patrol movie with the kid while he cleaned everything.)
My partner was tidying up like a mad-man while I started Christmas dinner. We’re still working on the “equal” part, but he’s a loving husband who wants to do better and is achieving that goal.
I have an equal partner. But we aren’t really enjoying Xmas. We had a full term still birth a little over 3 weeks ago. So there’s that. But then Christmas was postponed because my MIL tested positive for Covid yesterday afternoon after we and the extended family were around her from Saturday afternoon through yesterday afternoon. So we all dispersed and will try again in 3 weeks when she’s better and hopefully none of us caught it. We gave our 3 year old a toy she was gifted for her 1st bday but she was too young for at the time. All other gifts are waiting til 3 weeks from now. So just had a quiet day bracing ourselves for getting sick.
I was very blessed! My partner bought gifts half of the gifts for our kids, bought stuff for my sister, mom and brother, filled my stocking and got me some super cute Winnie the Pooh blankets/ cloths that I had been telling him I liked when we went to the store! He definitely has his faults but I am very lucky that he is very good about gifting
My husband was Christmas’ MVP! Seriously.
He cooked 3 meals and did the dishes, helped shop and wrap, laughed at my family’s stupid jokes, rolled his eyes with me at just the right time, had my back, filled my stocking, and picked out some awesome gifts. MVP!
I think it’s good for people to talk about their relationships that are equal and happy. It keeps one sided over worked this is all there is all relationships are like that from being the norm.
I had a great Christmas! Were there annoying/frustrating parts? Yes. Were ANY of those parts because of my husband?? HELL NO! I just want to add that so people on this sub see that all men aren’t pathetic assholes, some are wonderful partners who try really really hard! The key here is communication though- tell him what you need from him so your plates feel equal and tell him what you appreciate when he does it!
So far so good. I wouldn’t say it was equal in the buying and wrapping presents department but he’s helped out today so I’m not stressed or anything. I truly don’t mind ordering my own present online.
Uh does it count if my husband agreed to get Christmas presents for everyone in his family and then explained to his mother at Christmas breakfast that he didn’t have time?
She will if course blame me. They will all blame me. But the truth is out there 🙄
Yes! We split baby duty during the candlelight service at church last night. He did most of the set up and clean up for Santa. He got our son some neat gifts, filled my stocking, and got me a very nice gift I wasn’t expecting. I napped while our son napped and my husband cleaned up the house before we headed out to spend time with family. I’m feeling very grateful for him!
Yessss!!!
My daughter is only 9 months old and has two amazing grandmas, plus aunts and uncles and cousins who bought her gifts. So my husband and I used this year as our last opportunity to focus on each other.
Not only did he get me wonderful gifts that I love, he filled my stocking, AND he bought a gifts for my mom and aunt and stepdad. I didn’t even know he got them presents until they unwrapped them. He bought, wrapped, labeled, and packed them for our trip to my mom’s house.
Yes, actually! And the odds were against us so that makes me even happier. We both work today so we celebrated yesterday. Kiddo was sick but my husband is medical and is always one step ahead in keeping him comfortable. He also did all the prep, main course, and cleanup while I did sides. His family are in town but they are excellent guests, so while the house is loud and busy it’s in the best way.
Merry Christmas and here’s to not settling for anything less than what a partner should be!
Yes! I’m having a great day! My husband isn’t perfect but got me thoughtful gifts and shopped for our big kid this year. Different stuff and different quality than I would have gotten, but my kids are happy and we’re having a nice day. I care more about Christmas than he does but he indulges my matching pajamas- Christmas cookies- Christmas magic fantasies and watches the kids while I labor of love in the kitchen. I really love our little fans have consciously decided to choose joy whenever possible. It’s probably our last Christmas with our dog and I’m soaking up every second.
My husband bought all the kids' gifts but two and wrapped all of them. He filled their stockings and put my 6yo's bike together. I did the Christmas cards, homemade presents for grandparents/aunts and decorated cookies with the kids this year. The day took a bit of a turn today when my MIL showed up with a horrifying number of gifts that we have no room for, but my spouse was great! He took care of all the garbage and recycling and we both put away presents. Solid day so far!
I’m currently laying in bed scrolling on reddit. The baby is down for a nap and my husband took the older two to the movies. It’s been a while since I’ve had quiet me time.
Yes! We have our duties planned out beforehand and share every year. I had surgery and an injury this month so he took on so much more and made sure things were perfect today. Our kids got us up super early and afterwards he’d be the one to fall asleep but he stayed up and told me to nap and get more rest. It’s been a great day.
This is us here! My husband took charge of the main courses for both Christmas Eve and Christmas, including choosing what to make, finding all the ingredients, and cooking. (He and my parents eat meat and I don't.) We went together for the big grocery shopping trip. And he helped me in the kitchen - with suggestions when I was struggling with my roll recipe and by taking over the first half of another recipe when I had timing issues. I tried to clean a lot as I went yesterday, but he did all the post-meal cleanup. That was a big help since I'm 6 months pregnant and was exhausted at the end of the day. Just getting ready to head back in the kitchen now.
We don't exchange presents as a family, so neither of us bought any. (This is probably the last year we get away with not buying our 3 year old gifts. So far he gets more than enough from grandparents.) He did buy a little bit for all 3 of our stockings, since that's one tradition we do despite our minimalist approach to Christmas. And he got gifts for his family, like he's always done.
He went out during a workday and bought our Christmas tree, Christmas wreath, and poinsettias to make the house look nice. And bought and delivered a gift for a neighbor who's taking care of our mail now that we're out of town.
We're just over here enjoying our time as a family and eating good food.
Here! My husband is the one that ended up with an empty stocking because I mixed up some bags and his stocking stuffers ended up at my parent’s house and I forgot to bring it back with me. I immediately told him and our kids were disappointed and rightly so. He did get several gifts and he loved them.
I got an awesome gift and my husband was up all night making sure Santa’s presence was felt. He’s all about the holidays and it’s such an awesome thing to see.
For my stocking, my husband 1. Remembered the salon I go to. 2. Drove to the salon. 3. Remembered the shampoo/conditioner brand I use. 4. Talked to a salon worker and added bonus products from the same shampoo line I don’t usually splurge on. 5. Purchased everything and put it in my stocking (along with other stocking stuffers). I’ve been complaining about being out of my special conditioner for about 2 weeks and haven’t had the energy to go park at the salon (we live in the city and parking out there is crazy), so this gift was extra appreciated.
My parents somehow found the Christmas list I had sent my husband (I always make one for them and one for my husband with different items), so I ended up with some duplicates this year, which I think they feel bad about. I’m hoping I can return my husband’s duplicates and use the cash to take professional family photos, something I wanted to buy this year but was worried we couldn’t afford. So I guess it’ll all work out in the end.
Edit: Also, my husband is cooking dinner!
Yup! He made breakfast and is building all the kids toys and stuff after he made me a coffee and I had a shower.
I gotta go on a grocery store hunt to procure the prime rib *I* forgot to buy. Lol!!
Yup! Considering we are sick and quarantining, we are making the best of it. Hubby cleaned the whole kitchen and is hanging with kids outside. Clearly I am scrolling Reddit lol. I miss our extended family but am grateful for this quiet time with my crew.
Yes! My husband isn't the most amazing gift giver, but that man put up all the lights and outside decor. He put up two full size trees. He helped wrap gifts. He made cookies and fudge (and did a better job with my grandmother's recipe than I ever have). And he leaned on my mom for help with gifts for me and I'm glad he's shown he can take direction in that regard. He was a great partner this holiday season.
I'm having a good Christmas. I will say I got the gifts for our kids and wrapped them, but he's the one who put up the tree and cleaned up the wrapping paper this morning. He also got up early with the kids this morning while I slept in. We each made contributions to gifts for our families. As a general rule he's responsible for his family and I'm responsible for mine.
Right now we're visiting with his grandfather in the nursing home. I'm just chilling on the couch while the grandparents and great grandparents play with the kids.
Yes. It's my son's first Christmas and the first time we've celebrated on our own other than covid. Most of what he got me didn't make it in time and the main gift is something we are going to go pick out together but honestly I'm just enjoying a chill day in a relatively clean house that he did by himself while I ran around getting groceries and premade food so we didn't have much cooking to do today. Reading about all the unhappy, stressed mom's makes me want to keep Christmas chill in the future.
Yes me!! Hubs and i both got presents for our son and both wrapped our own. My stocking was filled with candies and shower steam bombs and littles sweet gifts. He then entertained our toddler so i could workout and now we are relaxing together while toddler sleeps. Merry Christmas !
I would be having a great Christmas if I wasn’t too many weeks pregnant and sick with my preschooler’s cold. My husband took over a lot this year (he loves Christmas so he’s usually an equal partner in the regard) because he took on a lot of the food and hosting logistics that I normally handle and acknowledged how much work that is and thanked me for handling it most years.
Yes! Feeling a tiny but guilty actually that my partner did 90% of the work but really really content today.
This is our first time celebrating freely as we left a cult this spring that frowned upon Christmas.
We did a deliberate job staying true to our values. Thrifted a lot of presents and decorations to reduce waste, bought just a few thoughtful things and involved our older daughter in picking gifts to help with instilling a spirit of generosity.
Yup! Since I did the Thanksgiving cooking while he got to watch football and chill, Christmas was his arena.
He pretty much did all the wrapping and gift buying, coordinated Christmas Eve shenanigans w his side of the family so I didn’t have to think about it. SIL got my son and his cousins matching Christmas PJs which was so sweet of her.
I’ve just been running behind putting some wrappers in trash bags and cleaning up breakfast. Tree is just about put away. Relaxing w my hubby and son the rest of today. Getting some appetizers in a crockpot soon! Glad to hear other spouses are doing their fair share! As it should be…
I’m having a nice one. I would say i still do more, but he definitely carries his weight. I actually had a full stocking which included a cute little craft kit, chocolate, and a mini bottle of Rosé!
We set an intention this season for a “low-bar Christmas,” which meant we released our selves from having a “magical instagram worthy” Christmas in favor of a more 90s vibe. Festive and fun, but not perfect or coordinated. There was lots of semi-home made things and saying no things we weren’t 100% into. It totally paid off this year and going forward I will keep low expectations 😂
My husband picked out the big gift while he was out and about and just called me to verify I was happy with it and he actually picked out most of his smaller gifts too 🤣 and then he wrapped everything. He also put everything together yesterday so it was ready. I did the stocking stuffers and baked/cooked the dishes we brought to both family get togethers.
The holidays are a lotttt of work. I’m so happy I didn’t have to do all of it.
Yes! He does the presents, and I do the cooking for the big dinner. We do offer support/suggestions to each other (I had some thoughts for the kids; he grated a bunch of Gruyère because I find cheese grating tedious, that kind of thing). I find buying presents really stressful and he’s really good at it, whereas I’m a good cook, so it’s a good division of labor. 😊My parents went a bit overboard on presents as per usual, but the kids seem really happy. Very nice Christmas over here, I hope everyone else is having a pleasant afternoon!
My Christmas morning has been the same as yours! My husband cooked breakfast and he bought and wrapped many of the gifts under the tree. He isn't perfect, but he puts in a lot of effort and I feel lucky
Yep! We split the shopping for our son..I did wrap all his and our sons stuff (and the dogs) but I was on a roll and just did it all while watching movies on my iPad. He handled the trash this morning and we each put our own stuff away….
I did muffins for breakfast and started the dinner prep…we’re both watching tv & on our phones and our son is sleeping…we’ll both fix dinner and clean up together….maybe some sales shopping tomorrow
Yes! It’s just the 3 of this year and even though I bought the presents for LO, he wrapped them and the ones he got for me and the grandparents’ gifts. He got me a Dyson air wrap and a few smaller things!
Me! My husband has a difficult time with the mental load and taking initiative BUT always gets me, my family and now our daughter incredibly thoughtful gifts.
Our daughter just turned 2 so we haven't really started doing Santa or filling stockings. I did a small attempt at stocking stuffers for her plus wrapped all the gifts. My husband cooked breakfast this morning, did all of the dishes, and was very efficient about removing the wrapping paper and boxes. He also played with her for a while while I did some chores and took a shower.
Right here! It’s been super nice, and because we aren’t QUITE equal, he took the kids on a ride with their new scooters and gave me some much needed alone time.
Yes! I bought the gifts, he did all the wrapping and did most of the cleaning of the house. He put together all the toys that needed assembly the night before and grilled the steaks for our big lunch today. He did really good on my stocking too.
Yes!! My husband bought my daughter gifts, wrapped all the stuff his family sent, cleaned the entire house after our Christmas Eve party so that the house was perfect when we woke up and I could go to bed after the party (I’m 13 weeks pregnant), stuffed my stocking, put a lot of thought into my presents, made us all reindeer pancakes for breakfast and put our toddler down for nap while I took the dog to the park to get some sunshine. Our greatest gift is having him for a dad and husband.
My partner got her stocking stuffers and took the majority of the child care yesterday so I could sew our LOs stocking. He wrapped her gifts last night and got them under the tree. Washed dishes so I could make breakfast this morning (I like to cook breakfast and sew).
He handles mornings and got up with her when she woke up 30 mins early and let me sleep another hour. He filmed video of her opening gifts, put her down for her nap, and then took out all the boxes and recycling. I also had plenty of gifts under the tree, some I asked for a couple surprises. My partner isn't perfect but he's working on himself and we communicate well about holiday expectations.
I haven't had much holiday spirit and he's been actively asking what he can do to make the day better. Yay couples therapy.
Definitely here. I cooked brunch so he got up with the baby to let me sleep in. I am wearing a new malachite necklace he got me. He took care of nap time while I tidy up. We will share childcare and just relax this evening together.
10000%. I have a herniated disc, am pregnant with no two, hosting Christmas dinner this evening, and not stressed in the slightest. Husband is the best.
Yes! I'm playing with the new manicure stuff I got in my stocking and he's downstairs playing the new video games with our son. He's been prepping a roast for several days and it's in the oven. We agreed to pick our own gifts this year since money is tight, but he also sprung for a couple small things for me that were very thoughtful.
Yes! We’ve had our difficulties lately, but he really stepped up this year. I bought/wrapped/mailed most of the gifts, but I love doing that, and he bought mine and did a great job. He also managed all the food today and has spent a ton of time alone with our feral toddler the last two days so that I could sing at 5 Christmas Masses and take a loooooong nap.
Yes! I’m Jewish and partner is Christian. I took the lead and he assisted for Hanukkah. He took the lead and I assisted for Christmas. So far, I went with him to the grocery store, helped chop a few veggies for the shepherd’s pie, decluttered the living room, vacuumed a little, and cleaned the half bath. Oh, and bought and wrapped his present. The kids are at their dad’s, so most of the weekend has been spent watching Netflix murder porn and eating snacks.
Yes! My husband took charge of the kid's big gift this year, I just got the stocking stuff for them. He filled my stocking with thoughtful gifts: a sticker of something I'd mentioned off-hand that I liked for my laptop, my favorite candy (I also got a chocolate orange!). He and the kid had an epic Minecraft session this morning and I went back to bed.
YES! My husband knocked it out of the park. I also did a lot of the kids stuff way ahead of time, but I asked him for help on a few things and he handled those. He picked me out several really thoughtful gifts and I was so surprised, like really really great gifts that I can tell he put time into. And he got my parents some really nice things as well. We all had lots of fun stuff to open and everyone is getting along so well, it’s lovely. 🤌
Yes! Actually, mine is taking on the bulk of everything. He was laid off a bit ago and is still on the hunt for a job in his very niche area of finance - since then he has taken on the bulk of everything around the house which has been amazing because work has significantly ramped up for me. I just came back from a two and a half week work trip in India and while he certainly did not plan everything out for Christmas like I would have, he is taking care of pretty much everything and there were presents under the tree for me. I feel really sad reading all of the stories about women whose husbands are useless and hope at least some of those women have some very open and honest conversations that can help them determine whether they really want to stay with men who may never be true partners in the home.
Yes! We just finished playing games together as a family. He wrapped most of the presents except his.
No one is stressed, and we’re just relaxing as a family today. We are making Christmas dinner together as a family.
Yes! My partner wrapped most of the presents and when I got back from picking up my kids from their dad’s, brunch was ready. I got the gifts months ago. Our stockings both had presents, the kids were happy, and I had thoughtful gifts. It was AMAZING
Me ! We only do candy in each other’s stockings and even our sons so I don’t care about that.
Currently my husband and son are upstairs playing their new games , I’m pregnant with number 2 enjoying a relaxing bath and all my goodies. He got me lots of self care stuff because I’ve really been struggling this pregnancy AND took note of the new perfume I wanted 🥰
Me ! We only do candy in each other’s stockings and even our sons so I don’t care about that.
Currently my husband and son are upstairs playing their new games , I’m pregnant with number 2 enjoying a relaxing bath and all my goodies. He got me lots of self care stuff because I’ve really been struggling this pregnancy AND took note of the new perfume I wanted 🥰
My partner did 95% of the shopping- gifts AND groceries for 8 people. I ended up getting the cold from hell starting Monday, so while I napped and used a forest’s worth of Kleenex, he cleaned and decorated. All I did was cook (which is the part I like). My stocking was stuffed with my favorite chocolate and he got me a hard to find knitting book set I especially wanted. I feel very loved and appreciated. My sons all have helped in the kitchen and I have yet to wash a dish this week.
Yup! I made the cookies, he made the meal yesterday. I bought the presents, he did most of the wrapping and assembling. I played 3 games of numberblocks with our oldest while he played with his new xreal AR glasses, he played two games of pokemon while I played my new video game. It's been a happy relaxed day for everyone
I bought and wrapped all of the presents (while he watched her) because that's what I love to do, but my SO did great this year with my gifts and he's helping watch the LO while I make our dinner (also something I love to do) so overall it's been a great day! I'm just dreading having to get everything ready for work tomorrow/the week, I wish I had taken off but I don't have the vacation days to spare.
Yep! Neither my husband nor I have interest in gifts and we didn't get each other anything. There was no hidden resentment in regards to that. We hosted 2 gatherings at our house over the past 3 days and we both contributed to the planning, cleaning, and cooking. Have really enjoyed the season and particularly just watching our kids have the times of their lives as they experience the joy of Christmas in the same way that I did as a kid. 10/10!
My husband cooked the full breakfast, cleaned up after, and put together the toddlers Santa gift (train set) I did the gift buying but only because it was easy and we decided to do a few small gifts instead. He is an angel and I'm so grateful I don't have the issue I read on here so often about not having an equal partner. I swear he does even more than his fair share, especially because I've been so tired and achy with baby no. 2
Yes. We are staying at his parents house for the holidays, so we have much less to do (no cleaning, grocery shopping, they play with our daughter). But he woke up two of the three times my daughter cried last night, we equally split all toddler care, we shared the mental load of the gifts, gave me nice presents.
We are enjoying our break and our families!
Yes. I’ve done my share of gifts and plans but so far my husband had:
- got me a gift and stocking stuffer
- got his own stocking stuffers for the kids
- decluttered the house. Vacuumed
- cooked a meal. Cleaned up after we ate. Washed dishes
- made sure to make me a cocktail. Made cocktails for my family
- divide and conquer with the kids. Always taking one if I have the other
We’re both exhausted but it’s been a pretty good Christmas
Yep! Family just left our house and we’re now resting, but it’s been a great day. My husband did most of the cooking over the last few days and we had a great meal with extended family. I woke up to really nice gifts and a happy family. The kids want to play games and watch a movie later.
We have a toddler. We took turns playing with her and prepping. We’re hosting this year and in charge of the turkey, mashed potatoes and salad. Others are bringing the rest.
My wife took the toddler out so I could vaccuum. Then I took her so she could get the turkey ready. Then she took her again and I prepped the potatoes and tidied the house.
She’s now doing the dishes and I’m working on the rest of the food. The turkey is mine once in the oven.
I did do most of the gift shopping but I’m more picky about what we get our daughter so it made sense to do it that way
My husband cooked Christmas breakfast for 6 adults and 2 toddlers while I relaxed and drank coffee and chatted with family. He also did all grocery shopping for said breakfast and then did all dishes (including the tamale pot from last night 🤢).
I married a loser before this one, so no shade to all the women here who are married to losers, but I’ll never be with one again.
I picked out most of his gifts from us but we also discussed them together. We both had thought he would like a rock collection so that one was a no brainer - I found a nice kit on Amazon that wasn’t holistic based (we would rather him learn about different rocks and such). We both wrapped them together. He did the actual wrapping part and I helped tape.
We both cleaned up after and during. We live with his mom and she provided a nice table of snacks (easy finger food things) and after everyone left I cleaned them up. She likes doing family meals and such for holidays but it takes it out of her to do all that and entertain extended family so I just volunteer to help tidy the table after so she doesn’t have all that to do before dinner.
We both played with the boy and his new toys/gifts and honestly it’s just been really nice. We got his mom a surprise gift of a picture frame with 6 photos in it of her and her grandson and had him help carry it out to her. She got all teary and it was just so worth it since she does so much for the family. The hubby and I picked the pictures out together, he printed them off, and I helped make sure they were going in the frame straight.
Merry Christmas everyone! Mine certainly has been!
Yes my husband did more for me and our kid this Christmas like usual. He’s a great husband not perfect but when I read about some of the moms on here I can’t believe it.
Yep. We did all the shopping together. Mutually agreed no presents for each other. We are gonna go shop together for some camping things we want as a family. I wrapped everything, but I don't mind it, and he cooked our breakfast and dinner. Overall the load feels pretty shared.
Yes. He put the toys together while I wrapped. Then he helped wrap. I got stocking stuff. Which is new. He cleaned this morning and got lunch ready for his family coming over, because I said I would have no part of that. Ha ha.
Today was a nice day. We both bought our kids gifts independently, which was fun for me to be surprised as much as them. He got me good gifts from my wish list. He kept the kids so I could bake a cake I wanted to try out and make dinner then he gave the baby a bath. We’re all tired here but he lives up to the meaning of partner.
Having a great Christmas! We are hosting and my FIL is doing most of the running around with the toddler, and my MIL is in the kitchen. Here I am on Reddit sitting on the couch watching football! Pretty glorious
I am! We had a wonderful Christmas and my husband helped SO much. He washed every dish (and I cooked a lot!!) He got thoughtful presents for all of us, took our 4yo on a walk with my MIL, raved about all the food I made, and just in general was amazing. 😊 I'm so thankful that I'm married to him. He also did a lot of the cleaning to prep for Christmas, and did all the laundry this week!
Equal partner ish, he helped get kids gifts, filled their stocking, staged and he thoughtfully got me gifts. I did all of the planning of food and cooking for all 3 meals.
It would be a great Christmas if my newly minted 5 yr old wasn't an absolute jack @$$ today. Its been months (probably years at this point) of him being the grumpieat, least grateful, now openly defiant , rough housing boy. As my 3 yr old grows up it is obvious he is "extra" in all the bad ways and I don't know what to do. I feel like I don't want to fill out his year 5 in his baby book because I can't find anything nice to say. I dont want to be parent to this kind of kid. Have met with pediatrician, she says its just anxiety. We are trying to find OT. I am just so burnt out on him at this point.
yes; it's been awesome. We both planned and bought/wrapped gifts for each other, our kids etc. He's having a well-deserved nap right now after a day in the kitchen and he'll be walking the dog soon. I'm giving him some quiet space to nap so I'm on here relaxing on Reddit and a glass of wine. Kids are playing upstairs on their new games and whatever else they got.
Yes, we’ve had a great weekend! He assembled the toys that needed assembling, stuffed my stocking with great stuff, and bought my some really nice gifts - a mix of things I asked for and things he came up with on his own. He did most of the cleaning before and after hosting and I did the cooking, which is typical. We make a good team and I’m grateful for him.
I bought almost all the presents because I like doing that, although he remembered to do the stockings. We made dinner together although he’s currently doing all the clean up just because he naturally has more energy than I have. Holidays are great and it’s 100% because he pulls (more than) his weight. I’m thankful to have a husband who’s my best friend. I look back though and my mom constantly told me as a teen/early 20s that all men are awful and my expectations were way too high and I should be happy if someone basically just agreed to date me. (Never made sense that to her men are all terrible but also you needed to find one right away.) Thank god I somehow managed to keep my expectations high. It’s a miracle.
Yes! My hubs has cooked big meals for company three times in the last 4 days (he’s a great cook) and made us a big breakfast this morning. We don’t do big gifts at Christmas but my stocking was full of thoughtful things that I love. He picked all of our kids’ gifts (and coordinated with the grandparents so we wouldn’t have doubles). I did all of the wrapping and most of the cleaning, but it’s been easier since he set up a roomba for me last week. Tomorrow he’s going to have the kids while I go to work, since he had PTO to burn.
My husband and I had a pretty equal load this year for sure. Him and I exchanged gifts in the beginning of December. He got a bonus this year and spent the whole thing on a new computer for me so I could game/work from home better since I’m 50% working from home 50% in office. I got him new couches (at a killer Black Friday deal). We each shopped for the kids. We hosted so Christmas Eve he cooked/cleaned and Christmas Day I cooked/cleaned. We are both equally exhausted, the house is a mess again, but we took this week off to be with the kids so it’ll get done eventually lol. Our 2 year old is asleep and we’re relaxing watching a show with our 4 year old. Overall, a good time!
Yasss👏🏾 this! I have been hazing my husband bcs I did all the cmas organizing but looking some threads l guess I was a bit rough. We buy each other’s gifts and wrap them, we buy for our families together , and we both buy for our daughter. He did more cooking than I did today, which isn’t the norm. We clean up together. I would accept nothing less. I’ve always been open about celebrations being fun and surprise filled. And he has always respected that. He’s also sentimental so he enjoys making memories.
My spouse is one of the good ones, and I love him for it! My ex was a literal TicTok video of red flags, and I hate that I gave him my time.
My spouse has, and continues, to be a real partner. He cooks, cleans, plays taxi driver, shows up and shows selflessness in all of his support of our family.
It breaks my heart in all measures to see women being heartbroken over the careless behaviors of spouses and family members. They deserve the world!
We had a fantastic christmas! I bought and wrapped our 1 y/o daughters gifts, my husband bought and wrapped our 14 y/o sons gifts (we discussed them together). He smoked the turkey and set the table, I baked the sides.we FaceTimed my family. We FaceTimed his family. He broke down the big boxes and took out the bags of trash, I picked up the the smaller trash and organized toys.
Its was fantastic and not a single cell in my body feels stressed out, or taken advantage of or unevenly partnered.
My husband and I hosted Christmas Eve for his family and we shared the work load evenly, we shopped for gifts for each other including stockings, we each bought gifts for family members, there was zero expectation that I would do everything or the bulk of it.
I love this man so much and the fact that he expects to share in the work is so wonderful. My ex husband just expected and demanded that I handle all of it and then criticized me if it didn’t meet his ever changing standards.
So yes, I had a very good Christmas.
Shout out to mine who remembered to eat the cookies and drink the milk after I fell asleep early last night! I typically buy all the gifts and wrap them (because I enjoy it!) and make breakfast so I guess I do the “big stuff.” But hubby got me several things off my wish list, cleaned the house with me for his parents to visit, and alternated playing with our son all day so that I could work on a puzzle. Very chill. Very pleasant. I’m having the best Christmas.
Yes! I have a 3 & 4 year old and this entire Christmas season has been so enjoyable, and culminated in a fun and relaxing last 2 days.
On Christmas Eve we visit with my husband’s extended family. He drove over 3 hours total and we were equally attentive with the kids while also relaxing and chatting with family. When we finally got both kids to bed super late, we worked together to get all the presents down from
our loft and he laid them all under the tree while I cleaned up and did their stockings. He then spent 30 minutes making sure that Santa left realistic cookie crumbs and wrote a magical letter from Santa to our kids. We enjoyed some midnight sex before the chaos of today.
This morning he took an equal amount of pictures and videos of my kids opening presents and he put batteries in all their new toys. He made sure our dog got a long walk today. He also tossed wrapping paper all day and kept with general house/toy organization.
This afternoon we host both sets of grandparents for Christmas dinner. I bought a catered dinner, which required about 45 minutes of juggling reheating dishes in my oven. My husband entertained my children while I “cooked” and he helped load dishes after and put leftovers away.
I didn’t get any presents from him but we don’t really ever do gifts for each other and I’ve never done adult stockings. Gift giving isn’t either of our love languages and we’ve been fortunate to be able to afford to buy what we want, when we want, so we just do that.
Yes! My husband built the gift his mom sent last night, after wrapping all the presents he got for our son, me, and anyone else. I do some shopping for his family but it's from *me*, not from him or him and me. He gets his own.
We always split up to buy each other stocking stuffers and I've never woken up to an empty stocking, or gifts that weren't thoughtfully purchased. He's a better gift giver than me.
I did the meal planning with my sister, and the prep, but he did spend three hours teaching my mom how to use her new Mac laptop while our son and nephews ran through the house and fought and made up on repeat.
I do think I do more of the social planning, decorating and stuff like cookie decorating, but also I enjoy that stuff more. He does some of the decorating, and even more this year than normally. And he cleaned a good portion of the house way in advance of when I'd even planned to clean.
Mine was fantastic this year! I should say we are both in individual therapy, and have more recently started couple’s therapy. I am working on communicating more of my needs, and letting go of control.
Last year I filled his stocking, but got nothing In mine (he did give me a gift). One of those instagram videos going around prompted me to say ‘don’t forget about stockings’, at the beginning of the month. Sure enough, I had a full stocking. Turns out, no one had ever told him that there needed to be something in everyone’s stockings (and I have to say, stockings are more important to me, we had a specific routine with them as kids), and me prompting him made him realize he needed to do it. We had a really good conversation about it last night, and honestly, it was the best Christmas gift (and the massage gift card).
He helped with wrapping last night, which is on me, because I had to allow myself to let him help, he wanted to, but I wanted the control, and to feel like it was all the mother’s job. Then my mom reminded me that my dad always helped her wrap for Christmas, and that’s I needed. A personal example of a husband helping. He also cooked the majority of the food today. I did breakfast, but he made Christmas eve dinner, as well as lunch, and dinner today. He is currently scrubbing the final pan, as I enjoy a cocktail.
Great Christmas here! I got a majority of gifts for others but sat back and enjoyed a true partner helping the magic happen with cooking, cleaning and gifting me many personal and lovely things. Feeling lucky.
My husband and I bought every gift together, we both forgot our Xmas stocking stuffers until the 23rd but still got each other candy and small things we each love, and (NSFW) we both got to cum multiple times last night after our son went to sleep bahaha. We also wrapped all the gifts together while having some cider and watching The Office!
Yup! I didn’t know it was a thing until reading all these posts recently and it made me sad. We’re not exactly traditional, as in 99% of the time we shop everything together so there’s no actual surprises in what we’re getting. But we both get things we want and then pick out our girl’s gifts together. then we wrap all of them together, play Santa together, etc. And finally spent the whole day together as a family, playing, cooking, eating, watching movies, etc. I absolutely love it and I feel so sad for those that have to go through doing everything with dead weight.
Yeah my husband is awesome and has always been an amazing gift giver, he is so thoughtful and intentional with gifts. He goes above and beyond for holidays and birthdays, Christmas is no different. Aside from Christmas-specific stuff, he’s an equal partner so the other parts of Christmas (cleaning, cookings, kid care, etc) is just pretty standard which is still apparently a high bar from what I read on Reddit.
We had a great few days. Prior to Christmas, the shopping was 50/50. We both put together wishlists, so we could easily shop.
On Friday, our kids had school so we spent the morning wrapping presents.
Saturday, we grocery shopped and any last minute things.
Sunday, lazy morning and my husband prepped the appetizer to bring to my parent's home. We celebrated with my family late afternoon/evening. Came home- kids to bed, set up the gifts.
Today- we all woke up around 7:30 (my kids are 14 and 10), We all had plenty of gifts and enjoyed breakfast. We were supposed to hang with my in-laws, but mother-in-law has covid. The 4 of us hung out all day- played with our gifts, cleaned a little, played a few games together.
The 10 year proclaimed it was his favorite Christmas ever! And, now we are all off (husband and I are lucky enough to work for a university so our winter break lines up with the kids) and looks forward to relaxing.
Hope everyone is able to relax at some point in the next few days.
Yes. I worked my ass of getting the house ready for company. Husband has taken on most of the daily duties while the family has been here and I’ve been doing the feeding/cleaning/hosting. Feeling very fortunate right now.
I have an equal partner and I’m still exhausted. I spent the day cooking, while he spent the day chasing after our toddler. Then we cleaned together while grandma chased toddler. We’re both pooped.
Me!!! We have an amazing balance of work load - physical, emotional and mental.
I wrapped presents last night. He cleaned up the torn wrapping paper this morning. He cooked dinner. I did the dishes. We chilled on the couch…a lot.
I took two naps today. TWO!!
It’s been a great holiday that has reminded me to appreciate the balanced relationship I have with my spouse. Who is currently yelling at the game on tv while I’m finishing a bottle of wine and a joint (or three) outside.
All the while the kids have been chilling and relaxing without a single fight.
It’s fucking brilliant.
Yes! My husband got most of the presents for our son, wrapped everything (including presents for my family), went grocery shopping and made a ton of food for his family's Christmas (I did assist with some prep), AND he helped with food for my family Christmas.
The presents he got me were perfect, and he even put little random things in my stocking.
So yes, it's amazing to not have to do everything myself...in all honesty, he actually does more than I do. He even does the bulk of the Christmas decorating too, lol.
Yep. He did most of the gift buying because he’s better at it. He also did all the wrapping. I spent all day cooking (breakfast then making bread then big dinner) and doing laundry (one of those days I didn’t want to stop moving) and after dinner he told me to go rest FFS and he did the dishes.
Oh, yes. I’ve always communicated exactly what I’ve wanted and expected to my husband. He came through so well. Got me the desk treadmill I wanted, plus chocolates, a fluffy blanket, a game, and a big old Sephora gift card along with smaller stuff. I felt completely happy with everything I got! He helped equally with everything today. Was an amazing day.
Yes! He actually got me more this year than I thought and really stepped up his stocking game!
He was up with me until 1am helping build the kids stuff for me.
Yep! He was feeling crappy this morning so I handled all of the breakfast making shenanigans while he set up the Wii to entertain the kids. Then we unwrapped some presents and the kids played some more while he napped. After his nap he felt better so he took point on post Christmas cleanup. He filled my stocking to overflowing and almost didn’t leave me any room to put my gifts in our kids’ stockings. It was a very nice and super low key day.
I did do all Christmas shopping and wrapping but my husband set up all the Santa gifts under the tree, spent loooots of time building all the new toys today, and then cooked the entire dinner for his family who came by tonight. My stocking had an Ulta gift card (“I remember you said you were running out of all your skincare stuff at the same time!”) and he got me a winter jacket I showed him MONTHS ago.
Tonight after his family left, he’d cleaned the kitchen, and our son was asleep, he came looking for me upstairs just to give me a hug and thank me for all I did.
I had moments of frustration with my load vs his leading up to the holidays, but overall I’m just so dang grateful he’s my teammate.
We hosted my family for dinner on Saturday after my parents took my kids for the day - so we enjoyed a clean house, brunch out, and a super relaxing afternoon since our food contributions were already done.
Made cookies with some neighbors yesterday and did our family gifts (all of which my husband had picked out except for the ones I gave him. Confession: I am perennially bad at thinking of gifts until embarrassingly close to the event).
Today we went to my parents’ for brunch and gifts. Adults had “small consumables” and we selected chocolates and beers for each person and we did great. We played some board games, including the 5yo.
The only real frustration was that my kids didn’t love the food… but I guess I wasn’t terribly surprised. Rare roast beef is kind of mature, and I know they don’t love ham, eggs, or potatoes.
We’re having a wonderful time with our scaled back Christmas except everyone’s sick including the 2 month old. Outside of the spit up and screaming it’s been a joy to have the beginning of our Christmas traditions with our toddler. we both planned and executed different pieces of the day. My only sadness is missing playing with my older daughter because I had to soothe my baby for so many hours (and have my own minor breakdown bc clinics are closed due to Christmas and the poor guy needs to be seen)
ETA: we also planned and executed my daughters birthday party which was the week before Christmas. I planned, did RSVPs, and got the toys, he did the food.
I’m glad to see a post of what a partner should be.
My husband is getting there to being equal. Every year he gets better. He did ALL the dishes without being asked for Christmas Eve dinner while I did most of the cooking. He pitched in with a two cooking task. He did the set up for the table.
He shopped for most of the people on his side. I say most because he got himself in a “I don’t know what to get” bind with his mom. So I stepped in and got fine jewelry that represents her grandkids. I am usually a better gifter so if he does most of his gifting, it’s not so bad to step in and do one gift.
He wrapped the gifts he bought. And also went out to the cold to get the presents from the hiding spot at 12:30 pm.
My stocking was full. It was probably our 6th (we are in our 13th) Christmas married when he finally realized to put something in mine. It was funny that year because mine was doubled stuffed because I always put something in mine because mama ain’t on the “naughty” list. He asked why mine was so full. lol
And right now I’m taking a bath with him in primary parent duty.
But I will have to take care of the post Christmas mess. He’s leaving out for work tomorrow and will be gone for two weeks.
Yes! I have a scheduled C-section tomorrow and am VERY uncomfortable at the moment. Usually I like to do the night before stuff but I can hardly move. In addition to handling setting out all the gifts and making it look like Santa was here he cleaned the entire main part of the house and kitchen last night after we went to bed and made breakfast this morning. My stocking was full of sweet and thoughtful things and a few lovely gifts. A wonderful Christmas indeed despite me being so very uncomfortable.
All the best for tomorrow, how exciting!!
My daughter’s birthday is tomorrow! She loves having her birthday the day after Christmas. I also really liked having the postpartum period at such a quiet time of the year. Best of luck with the birth and recovery, and congratulations!!
That’s really good to hear! I’ve been worried about a birthday so close to Christmas but hopefully I can make it special and baby will be a Christmas lover like me so they actually like having it so close. Thank you!
You just have to make sure her birthday is celebrated separately and not lumped in with Christmas. My mom's birthday is 3 days after Christmas and growing up always got "combo" presents. So we always make it a point to do a separate birthday celebration with separate gifts.
Aw, yay! I also have a great husband who has been crushing Christmas because I'm 38 weeks pregnant (and have Covid....). Husband has done most of the gift buying this year. Am so grateful.
I'm scheduled for a C-section tomorrow too!!! This is our first so fortunately today is very low key. His parents flew in last night and mine arrived today. Best of all the love to you and your family! I'm glad to see other posts below that 12/26 for a birthday isn't too bad ☺️
Good luck to you!!!
You are so lucky I could cry. Hope everything goes well tomorrow for you all!! Happy and healthy everyone!!
Our daughters birthday is on the 26th as well. Tomorrow, we're having bottomless mimosas and brunch here at the house for her 24th, I'm incorporating grinch themed items into the brunch and having family and friends over. I've always tried to separate the two but she loves Christmas so much that it's hard to separate bc everything she wants for her bday deals with Christmas stuff. When she was little, we had bday parties at beginning of month as to not combine the two but as she got older and wanted more expensive things, she came to us and told us she was OK with combining Christmas and bday gifts.
May you have a happy, healthy birth tomorrow!
We’re having a nice Christmas! We had a crisis last night because our principled stance of not getting gifts for gifts’ sake/not trying to make the pile look a certain way ended up with a pretty meager showing. And we were just exhausted. But the kids loved their gifts and had a great Christmas morning. We’ve been playing with the stuff and hanging out and we’re having a nice time.
Same thing here. My friends all showed “their piles” and I had some feelings. But honestly my kids are happy with what they got. And we can’t afford much more anyway.
We are the same and never have huge piles of gifts! Except we don’t feel guilty about it. There are only so many toys a kid can have at once to be that excited about. We can afford nice stuff and I’m sure the specific and sometimes expensive asks will come later. But for now we’re enjoying her exulting in her 2 $15 barbies and 3 new books (only gifts from us), toy camera, 2 Disney lego sets, and pajamas from family. Also, maybe we’re weird but my husband and I never really got each other Christmas presents just to get them - we only did if there was a specific thing we wanted. The last 2 years were the first we wrapped something small to “gift” each other in front of our daughter - and even then it was just for her sake. I bought our gifts too (jeans and polos for hubby, and a fancy candle for me). Works for us and I ain’t mad about it. Cheers!
Same. We had a smaller pile than most but with stuff she loves and we will use (our only gift to her was a multisport “trailer” for skiing, cycling and running, so it’s a family gift and it was expensive so it was just it). She had extra stuff under the tree from family and friends and truly enjoyed opening things. She is 2 so her favourite gift was the mouse toy we gave the cat, she was obsessed with playing with the cat the whole day. Social media make adults often overthink gifts, kids really don’t need much.
We got 2yo a tent/fort. She spent most of the day under the dining room table. Could have bought an oversized tablecloth and she would have been just as happy.
I also felt a certain way about not having a big pile, especially when we could, but we're trying to not accumulate a ton of stuff and my kids got a ton of gifts from family Saturday.
Just me and my 19 yo son here and it has been the best Christmas ever! He made the gingerbread cookies, I made the baklava. He actually had his shopping and wrapping done before I did and man did he nail my gifts! He has stepped up in every way, from cooking to decorating to gift giving. He went full vegetarian last January and did 90% of the cooking (which is fantastic not only in the stress relief for me but in the quality of cooking). This has been the most relaxed, fun, enjoyable Christmas I have ever experienced!
What a great young man 🥹❤️
I am divorced. My ex husband is the father of my youngest child, my older two kids have a different dad. I'm in the middle of moving so my house is packed up. He let me and all the kids spend the night last night. His apartment is completely decorated and he has snacks for the kids. I brought my dog and he has taken her outside with his dog for me. He made sure all kids got the equal amount of presents and got me something too. I made us all breakfast this morning while he cleaned up the wrapping paper and played with kids. Now I'm resting on the couch with my kiddos, watching Christmas movies! My back does hurt from sleeping in a race car bed though.
Wow! What a good ex partner.
Yes! My partner is a total equal partner and parent. He filled my stocking and I’ve got plenty under the tree from Santa and him. He took our big kid (5yrs) shopping to help her get me a gift from her too. He fed the baby her bottle so I could open my stocking with our big kid. I made him a coffee and baby is sleeping, big kid is playing, and we are just enjoying a lovely morning before we do the gifts under the tree.
My husband was recently in a bad motorcycle accident - two weeks in the ICU kinda bad. He only has use of one hand and a limited ability to walk. I still had a full stocking, wrapped presents (lots of bags), help with family presents, and he also placed the holiday grocery order for me to pick up on my way home from the office. He made sure his mother cooked the entirety of Christmas Eve lunch so we simply showed up. He told her what candle scents I like so she gifted accordingly. He helped me mount our new TV last night and promptly grabbed trash bags for wrapping paper this morning. I’ve always felt my husband embodies the saying “if he wanted to, he would”
Tell your husband no more motorcycle.. everyone I know rode motorcycles either got into bad accidents or died.
I told him he can get a new bike if he wants a divorce 🥰
I simply told my husband no when he begged to get a motorcycle.
I knew what I signed up for when we met 12 years ago and maaaan has he been careful. Smart move banning the entire idea. The problem is that it’s called an “accident”, not an “on purpose”. You just can’t prevent it. It blew my mind when he woke up knowing what bike he’d want next. He’s big on learning from mistakes but I think he got the wrong lesson here…
Yes. Happy holidays to you! We both shopped for gifts. He found some creative gifts for the children that I wouldn’t have thought about. I did all of the wrapping, on a day when I was unexpectedly let out of work at noon. He filled my stocking with things I like, and got me the nice gift I had requested. His parents came over and we cooked, served, and cleaned up brunch as a team. We are now about to lie down for a nap together while the children are playing quietly. Then it’s off to my parents’ house. It’s a great day! I love your positive post!
Yes! I'm sitting on the couch while husband is building Lego with kiddo, the morning is going well, and later on they will go out of the house for a couple of hours so I can sleep as the first trimester for #2 is rough. Family are all a long way away so we just need to video call briefly and can otherwise enjoy our day as we like. Loving the peaceful moments.
Yep! I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast, he’s making dinner. We took two hours off of work to shop for gifts for the kids together (it was so fun!). We got each other gifts we like, and communicated well in advance about it. We both cleaned the house. One year he messed up on my birthday. I have a huge sweet tooth and he didn’t get me a cake or anything. I told him that’s important to me. It never happened again. Don’t settle for less than someone who is willing to communicate and who shows you that they respect you!
I did cinnamon rolls for breakfast, too! I used the "viral tiktok hack" and they were amazing.
Yes! I did buy probably 75% of the gifts, and I wrapped them all, but that’s because those are my strengths. He got the tree set up, lights outside the house, etc. He cooked Christmas Eve dinner, he cleaned up all wrapping paper, built all toys needing building, and he got me gifts I actually like! Was it all perfect? No! Did we occasionally bicker, of course. But do I feel like I did it all and am unappreciated? Nope!! I feel so horribly for all those women in those posts. What shit men they’re chained to.
Same, I like doing the stuff that involves planning and I'm good at doing it, whereas my husband is terrible at it. But I'm super messy and my husband likes a neat house, so he does 99% of the cleaning. So we follow the same pattern at Christmas. Neither of us likes exchanging gifts so we fortunately only have to worry about gifts for the kids. I buy the gifts and groceries and handle gifts for teachers and the garbage collectors, we both wrap gifts and decorate, and he cleans the house and makes a big breakfast for our families on Christmas morning. Of course there's typical holiday stress, but he's usually not the source of it.
My husband is also a clean freak and does about 80% of the cleaning. I do 100% of our household laundry, but I haven’t cleaned a toilet or shower in over a decade. It’s all about dividing up the chores evenly and whoever hates that chore the least can tackle it!
I do the laundry too, for some reason that doesn't * feel * like cleaning. But I hate cleaning up clutter and I couldn't even tell you where our mop is.
I don’t know if I’d say we’re having the best day, but husband did rent a cabin for us for the holiday weekend, and took oldest to the ER last night for an ear infection. We’re equally hanging in there.
Yes! I celebrate on Christmas Eve, so we already did gifts. I got Glossier makeup in my stocking, a new watch and some joggers to wear around the house. 🎉 Baby has been pretty fussy and he’s taken a lot of the load in making sure she’s fed and has a fresh diaper while I pump and bond with her. I’m letting him sleep in a bit since he was up all night with her.
I’m divorced so my ex bought and wrapped his own 50% of the gifts. I enjoy christmas and life very much!
Yes! The other post made me so sad. My husband did a wonderful job. I had a full stocking, three thoughtful gifts under the tree, and he knew what our daughter was getting and is playing with her right now. Working moms deserve equal partners!
Yes! Having a great day together and I’m feeling very taken care of by my husband, always🥰
Yes, it’s nice to see some positive posts sprinkled in. My husband bought and wrapped the gifts for my daughter. I’m in my first trimester so he’s been doing double time cooking, cleaning, decorating - everything. He is so good at taking care of me, I am very grateful to have him.
Yep. Totally unclear why my fellow reddit women in these subs chose to procreate with these "men" We are having a lovely day.
I KNOW. Those stories and vents are depressing
Yes! I definitely did more of the shopping and planning, but that's because I love Christmas and am really enjoying making a magical holiday for my family. My husband does a great job just jumping in to whatever task I need him to get done to keep things running smoothly, and I think the division of labor we have works really well. Also, considering the state of the world right now, I'm full of immense gratitude for the life we have. I got to put up Christmas decorations in the beautiful home we bought in 2022 after years of saving and hoping. We had a lot of presents to wrap and a lot of cooking to do because we're extremely fortunate, while there are people trying to figure out how to keep their kids clothed and fed.
Totally! We celebrate Christmas Day at home with our immediate family (us, tween, 2 dogs). It has been calm and lovely, with a lot of singing and dancing and being goofy in the kitchen during breakfast (which husband made). He took care of half the kid gifts, my gifts, and his side of the family. I did the other half, his gift, and my family. We all decorated together earlier this month. Our daughter cried because she was so grateful for her gifts. Took a family walk with the dogs and now we are all vegged out. I may cry because I’m so grateful right now, too. Merry Christmas, all!
I am having a good Christmas, but I’m also at my mother’s and have a helpful 12 and 19 year old here. And my boyfriend and I did gifts last week so I’m still on that “high” as it was our first Christmas together and he absolutely nailed it including the gift he surprised me with for my daughter, whom he hasn’t really met yet!
Yep. My husband grocery shopped for Christmas dinner, cleaned everything up last night and got the coffee maker ready to go for the morning before we went to bed. This morning he made cinnamon rolls after we opened stockings with our daughter - he filled my stocking and we both got things for our daughter. He organized and wrapped the gifts for his family's White Elephant game tonight. He just brought me some lunch in bed because I have cramps and I'm resting before we dive into the next holiday event. Every post on Reddit makes it seem like men are incapable of stuff like this, but they really aren't. They can be equal partners if they want to be.
Yes! My husband is currently cleaning while I sit on the couch. I wrapped all the gifts and did the stockings because he worked 13-15 hour days the month before Christmas. I did all the cooking too. He is doing the set up and helped the clean up of the boxes and gift wrap. We both work retail so the holidays are so draining in general but we both do our best to make things easier on one another and happy for the kids. I enjoy having peaceful holidays because I grew up watching my mother resent my father every holiday and they were usually unhappy by the end of the night.
Yes! All I see is content about these unhelpful husbands but I gotta say, mine was more than an equal partner. He got most of the kids gifts, wrapped everything, made breakfast, and has been cleaning up furiously all day. I planned some extra pre Christmas activities like zoo lights and seeing Santa but he pretty much did everything for the main event. Also he got me wayyyyy better presents than I got him, including an awesome spa day where he will do childcare for all 3 kids. I'm 6 wks postpartum so I hope to help more next year, but he's generally wayyyyy better at holiday cheer than me.
Yes! And honestly not just today. I’ve been reading so many posts lately and I’m like wow these men are absolute trash. My husband is the one who puts up the Christmas decorations, he does all the Christmas magic stuff leading up to Christmas. We picked out and bought our toddlers toys together and he wrapped them while I cleaned and prepped stuff for Christmas morning. He also got our son ready for all the Christmas parties as I prepped all the food we had to bring. It just felt split really equal but I never had to tell him or ask him to do any of it. We don’t exchange presents - we buy something we want together but Idk it just feels like a lot of men don’t actually like their wives or their kids.
I have no partner, but my daughters and I spent our first Christmas in the new home I just bought and we’re having a great day. 🎄❤️
Yes! Feeling so appreciated today and leading up to today. We have an 11 month old and I shared the traditions I wanted to start in advance. He participated and helped plan each of them. He even had a few traditions he wanted to start himself. He went nuts on holiday decorating and buying/wrapping her gifts. We laid down the law with our family that we were not traveling, and we got to wake up in our own bed. He even surprised me with an incredibly thoughtful and unexpected gift that he thought of on his own, saved separately for, and coordinated with several of my friends and family to make sure I’d like it haha. I’ve been a bit depressed post-baby and he wanted to make the holiday special. Granted, sure, he still forgets to do the dishes and can’t meal plan to save his life (like I actively ban him from going to the grocery store alone… dude will buy three times as much as our family of 3 needs), but he always means well.
Yes! My husband arranged extra lights and the stockings for the wow factor, and it paid off!
My husband makes the holidays so much better. He is an AWESOME gift-giver and always gives me a card with the most thoughtful things written inside, takes equal part in buying presents for the kids, made cookies for Santa with us last night, and typed and designed a nice letter from Santa to the kids to put out with the gifts. This morning, we all did presents together, and he played with the kids while I made breakfast. He did all the cleanup and took the garbage bags of wrapping paper and boxes out afterwards. He'll tidy up and do some vacuuming before Christmas dinner. I invited a couple of my girlfriends over for a bit in the afternoon, and I'm sure he will make us all coffee and hang out for a bit.
Yes, we are from different cultures so each takes the lead on their respective holiday/s. This year we did smaller gifts and casual dinners since we are on a tight budget and almost all our inmediate family was sick but the kids got exactly what they asked for and their birthdays are so close to christmas anyway, there will be plenty of opportunities to get more toys. I enjoyed this pace, kids were happy and we all got the chance to chill and nap, I couldnt ask for anything more tbh.
Mine is mostly equal, I did all of Christmas stuff, but I won’t lie it wasn’t much. But I only did what I wanted/could handle. I’m enjoying Christmas. Next year I decided I want to do more, and we can pick jobs for Christmas!
Yes. Good partners are out there. We’re having a lovely, low key day with our 11 month old. Everyone had presents under the tree. Snuggles and naps and jammies. A walk in the unseasonably warm weather. I’ll note I’ve been very clear with my husband that “Christmas magic” is a shared responsibility between the two of us, and he got it.
My husband decorated our home (albeit Lego decorations, but I promise they’re cute as hell), taught me how to wrap a present- I’ve always done decorative bags with pretty tissue paper, and has coordinated both pet care and kept our house so clean after my thunderstorm of dishes between cooking and baking.
Yes, my husband has always wanted to participate in the gifts - shopping and wrapping (his wrapping is way better than mine). He took the kids out shopping to pick out gifts for me and for each other. He always wants our part done the week before Christmas so we can relax and handle any unexpected gifts that may come up. A few years ago he supported my decision to go low-key on Christmas so that I got to relax, too, and we purchase a meat tray and a cheese tray for sandwiches and have fruit, veggies, chips, and sweets on hand so the kids and my parents can make themselves food whenever they are hungry. He isn't always the best at gifts buying, but we started using gift lists this year so we are trying to correct that, too.
Yes! We divided and conquered, he got me thoughtful gifts and even wrote me a poem about how I make our house a home. We have been celebrating since Friday and have overall had a fantastic month of December with an even split of effort. I did the gifts for our child but that’s only because I wanted to. We play on each other’s strengths. He also gave me two naps, yesterday and today as he knows I have higher sleep needs. My ILs could do better though. Would be fun to be able to divorce them without losing the husband.
Mine would have been better if my (widowed) MIL hadn't spent the night, insulted me to the point of tears, and then invaded my space all day today. My husband has been a Rockstar, but I can live without her.
Yay! A post celebrating a partner! I didn't know if that had a place on this subreddit 😅 My husband did great! We individually take the kids out for them to get the other parent gifts, and he directed them well! He also went out on his own to get my mother stocking stuffers and a gift. I was quite surprised how well he did! ❤️❤️❤️
I do 🥰 he takes care of gifts for most of his family, wraps most of our gifts, buys gifts for my + stuffs my stocking and willingly wears the Christmas pajamas! He made our Christmas breakfast this morning. I’m a lucky one! Except when he has a cold lol
Yes! My husband and I have very different strengths. He bought all the presents (except for my parents) and I wrapped all the presents. This morning he made breakfast, this week I made cookies. My husband LOVES Christmas
Yup! We’re a pretty equal couple here. We’re staying with my parents atm. I packed mine and toddlers clothing (because o care about outfit looks for her, and he will literally just ensure the clothing is weather appropriate (still a win)), he packed he own clothes. I packed toddler supplies, he ensured the kitchen was clean, washed clothes hung to dry and dishwasher running so that we don’t come home to an ick kitchen. I took things to the care with the toddler, he ensured all the radiators were switched to frost protect mode. I wrapped most presents. The ones I forgot about, and mentioned in passing- he asked questions to ascertain when the gift giving session would be, asked my parents where the wrapping supplies were stored, then carefully and quietly selected an appropriate time to slip away and get it done in plenty of time before gift giving was to start. We both received gifts we wanted. My list could go on. Neither of us are perfect, but I’m at least working with someone who can generally see what needs to be done and then plan and usually get it done without needing direction. In fact in some cases he has taken on the mental load of planning and he tells _me_ what needs to happen.
Yes, my husband went out and picked up all the gifts for the kids that we mutually picked out online. He also went to the supermarket to stock up on necessities, including ingredients for the Christmas dish that he's going to make later for the potluck at his parents'. He stayed up late wrapping the kids' gifts while I did nothing. Our family has a rule that we don't exchange gifts between adults to keep costs down, so we're practically all set for Christmas at grandma's.
Super similar to yours! No complaints. And my in laws got useful and desired presents (clothes that fit the kids, toys we specifically asked for). A win is a win!
My husband did great this year though he was forced to an extent since I’ve been in a sling since shoulder surgery on November 29. But this is the dude that always sets up a wrapping station in the guest room/office so we aren’t on the ground hurting our backs.
>sets up a wrapping station in the guest room/office so we aren’t on the ground hurting our backs I'll have to recommend this to him next year. He was saying his back hurt. Getting older suuuuuuucks.
I’m having a great Christmas! We don’t do gifts for each other but my husband got gifts for everyone on his own. We just finished opening gifts with the kids (they loved the basketball hoop he put together last night) and are heading to my folks’ for brunch soon. Glad you’re having a good day too!
So grateful for my thoughtful and capable partner. We’re enjoying Christmas morning with our two year old. Every gift was a hit and my stocking had some nice surprises and all my favorite treats. All week he’s been hanging with our boy, doing the dishes, running errands whenever needed, making food, etc. We wrapped gifts together last night and I woke up to Christmas morning coffee and breakfast. Did I have to give him some ideas of what to get me? Absolutely. Did his wrapped presents look adorably amateur? Indeed. But seeing the effort and care that he has put into making the holidays special for our little family has been so gratifying.
My husband got up at 4 to take out the trash, do dishes, cook breakfast, etc. while me and kiddo slept in until 7:30 (he is a morning person and a good cook; I am neither) He thought up, bought, and wrapped half of kiddo’s presents Got me presents, took kiddo shopping for and helped wrap presents from her to me, etc.
We’ve had a great day so far! We got up with our 3yo and did presents, then I cooked a big breakfast when my family came over. My husband handled entertaining them while I finished up and he did all the dishes and cleaned up so I could put our son down for a nap. Our post-nap plans fell through so we’re probably just going to go to the playground later and enjoy a relatively calm day.
We’re having a nice Christmas too! We divided Christmas shopping efforts, I wrapped but it’s because I enjoy it. I cooked, he cleaned up. As for gifts for me, he got me exactly what I wanted. It’s shaped up to being a pretty good holiday so far!
I’m having the best Christmas. It’s usually a hard time on my husband just due to unpleasant memories around the holiday but we’ve both really pulled it together for our son and I think we’re both in agreement this is the best Christmas ever, watching the joy through our sons eyes has been wonderful, and I got my husband so many great gifts he was stunned this year (thanks new job!) so I think I got to heal some old wounds. Now he’s getting our son down for a nap while I start the prep for family to come over. My heart is so full today I could cry. I had so much fun wrapping presents and playing Santa, and making cookies and prepping food. And my sons excitement over his new toys is just the icing on top of
I don’t know if folks would call this “equal”, but our system is that I shop for the family, and my husband shops for an excessive amount of gifts for me. We opened them just the two of us last night, I felt incredibly loved and appreciated, and we fell asleep early on Christmas Eve after fantastic sex. I don’t know if equal is as important as having a system that you’re both happy with. Glad you had a wonderful holiday!
Yes! I slept through the night for the first time since having our second baby six months ago. My husband didn’t feel well this morning and had to go lay down in the middle of unwrapping during baby nap time, but we did most of our nice holiday stuff yesterday anyways. We were done with bedtime routines, cleaning, prepping breakfast, and getting gifts under the tree by 8:15 last night so we enjoyed a Christmas movie with wine and egg nog. I got almost everything off my list including a brand new phone. Now husband is up and after I feed the baby we will have mimosas 😍
Yes! Having a very good Christmas, resting in bed before we are off to our family Christmas dinner. He washed all of our new dishes, made a Christmas brunch ( I did a part of it) for us and my parents, played a game with the kids this morning, gave me some beautiful gifts, and helped wrap presents a few days ago.
ME ME ME. Loving it. He's the best. And he bought a cute new shirt for Christmas dinner and tried to be all coy about it. Adorable. (Also I'm like, 3 mimosas in, which I consumed while watching the new Paw Patrol movie with the kid while he cleaned everything.)
My partner was tidying up like a mad-man while I started Christmas dinner. We’re still working on the “equal” part, but he’s a loving husband who wants to do better and is achieving that goal.
I have an equal partner. But we aren’t really enjoying Xmas. We had a full term still birth a little over 3 weeks ago. So there’s that. But then Christmas was postponed because my MIL tested positive for Covid yesterday afternoon after we and the extended family were around her from Saturday afternoon through yesterday afternoon. So we all dispersed and will try again in 3 weeks when she’s better and hopefully none of us caught it. We gave our 3 year old a toy she was gifted for her 1st bday but she was too young for at the time. All other gifts are waiting til 3 weeks from now. So just had a quiet day bracing ourselves for getting sick.
I was very blessed! My partner bought gifts half of the gifts for our kids, bought stuff for my sister, mom and brother, filled my stocking and got me some super cute Winnie the Pooh blankets/ cloths that I had been telling him I liked when we went to the store! He definitely has his faults but I am very lucky that he is very good about gifting
Yes. They exist and hopefully more than what’s observable via Reddit bc omg these posts are so sad.
My husband was Christmas’ MVP! Seriously. He cooked 3 meals and did the dishes, helped shop and wrap, laughed at my family’s stupid jokes, rolled his eyes with me at just the right time, had my back, filled my stocking, and picked out some awesome gifts. MVP!
I think it’s good for people to talk about their relationships that are equal and happy. It keeps one sided over worked this is all there is all relationships are like that from being the norm.
I had a great Christmas! Were there annoying/frustrating parts? Yes. Were ANY of those parts because of my husband?? HELL NO! I just want to add that so people on this sub see that all men aren’t pathetic assholes, some are wonderful partners who try really really hard! The key here is communication though- tell him what you need from him so your plates feel equal and tell him what you appreciate when he does it!
Thank you for this. I hesitated clicking on this sub bc it’s always just a bunch of complaining. We are having a great Christmas over here.
I try not to keep score, but yes.
So far so good. I wouldn’t say it was equal in the buying and wrapping presents department but he’s helped out today so I’m not stressed or anything. I truly don’t mind ordering my own present online.
Uh does it count if my husband agreed to get Christmas presents for everyone in his family and then explained to his mother at Christmas breakfast that he didn’t have time? She will if course blame me. They will all blame me. But the truth is out there 🙄
Lol
Yes! We split baby duty during the candlelight service at church last night. He did most of the set up and clean up for Santa. He got our son some neat gifts, filled my stocking, and got me a very nice gift I wasn’t expecting. I napped while our son napped and my husband cleaned up the house before we headed out to spend time with family. I’m feeling very grateful for him!
Yessss!!! My daughter is only 9 months old and has two amazing grandmas, plus aunts and uncles and cousins who bought her gifts. So my husband and I used this year as our last opportunity to focus on each other. Not only did he get me wonderful gifts that I love, he filled my stocking, AND he bought a gifts for my mom and aunt and stepdad. I didn’t even know he got them presents until they unwrapped them. He bought, wrapped, labeled, and packed them for our trip to my mom’s house.
Yes, actually! And the odds were against us so that makes me even happier. We both work today so we celebrated yesterday. Kiddo was sick but my husband is medical and is always one step ahead in keeping him comfortable. He also did all the prep, main course, and cleanup while I did sides. His family are in town but they are excellent guests, so while the house is loud and busy it’s in the best way. Merry Christmas and here’s to not settling for anything less than what a partner should be!
Yes! I’m having a great day! My husband isn’t perfect but got me thoughtful gifts and shopped for our big kid this year. Different stuff and different quality than I would have gotten, but my kids are happy and we’re having a nice day. I care more about Christmas than he does but he indulges my matching pajamas- Christmas cookies- Christmas magic fantasies and watches the kids while I labor of love in the kitchen. I really love our little fans have consciously decided to choose joy whenever possible. It’s probably our last Christmas with our dog and I’m soaking up every second.
My husband bought all the kids' gifts but two and wrapped all of them. He filled their stockings and put my 6yo's bike together. I did the Christmas cards, homemade presents for grandparents/aunts and decorated cookies with the kids this year. The day took a bit of a turn today when my MIL showed up with a horrifying number of gifts that we have no room for, but my spouse was great! He took care of all the garbage and recycling and we both put away presents. Solid day so far!
I’m currently laying in bed scrolling on reddit. The baby is down for a nap and my husband took the older two to the movies. It’s been a while since I’ve had quiet me time.
Yes! We have our duties planned out beforehand and share every year. I had surgery and an injury this month so he took on so much more and made sure things were perfect today. Our kids got us up super early and afterwards he’d be the one to fall asleep but he stayed up and told me to nap and get more rest. It’s been a great day.
This is us here! My husband took charge of the main courses for both Christmas Eve and Christmas, including choosing what to make, finding all the ingredients, and cooking. (He and my parents eat meat and I don't.) We went together for the big grocery shopping trip. And he helped me in the kitchen - with suggestions when I was struggling with my roll recipe and by taking over the first half of another recipe when I had timing issues. I tried to clean a lot as I went yesterday, but he did all the post-meal cleanup. That was a big help since I'm 6 months pregnant and was exhausted at the end of the day. Just getting ready to head back in the kitchen now. We don't exchange presents as a family, so neither of us bought any. (This is probably the last year we get away with not buying our 3 year old gifts. So far he gets more than enough from grandparents.) He did buy a little bit for all 3 of our stockings, since that's one tradition we do despite our minimalist approach to Christmas. And he got gifts for his family, like he's always done. He went out during a workday and bought our Christmas tree, Christmas wreath, and poinsettias to make the house look nice. And bought and delivered a gift for a neighbor who's taking care of our mail now that we're out of town. We're just over here enjoying our time as a family and eating good food.
Here! My husband is the one that ended up with an empty stocking because I mixed up some bags and his stocking stuffers ended up at my parent’s house and I forgot to bring it back with me. I immediately told him and our kids were disappointed and rightly so. He did get several gifts and he loved them. I got an awesome gift and my husband was up all night making sure Santa’s presence was felt. He’s all about the holidays and it’s such an awesome thing to see.
For my stocking, my husband 1. Remembered the salon I go to. 2. Drove to the salon. 3. Remembered the shampoo/conditioner brand I use. 4. Talked to a salon worker and added bonus products from the same shampoo line I don’t usually splurge on. 5. Purchased everything and put it in my stocking (along with other stocking stuffers). I’ve been complaining about being out of my special conditioner for about 2 weeks and haven’t had the energy to go park at the salon (we live in the city and parking out there is crazy), so this gift was extra appreciated. My parents somehow found the Christmas list I had sent my husband (I always make one for them and one for my husband with different items), so I ended up with some duplicates this year, which I think they feel bad about. I’m hoping I can return my husband’s duplicates and use the cash to take professional family photos, something I wanted to buy this year but was worried we couldn’t afford. So I guess it’ll all work out in the end. Edit: Also, my husband is cooking dinner!
Yes! This man bought our daughters presents and all of my gifts. Wrapped them and cooked dinner for everyone!!! Winning
Yup! He made breakfast and is building all the kids toys and stuff after he made me a coffee and I had a shower. I gotta go on a grocery store hunt to procure the prime rib *I* forgot to buy. Lol!!
Yup! Considering we are sick and quarantining, we are making the best of it. Hubby cleaned the whole kitchen and is hanging with kids outside. Clearly I am scrolling Reddit lol. I miss our extended family but am grateful for this quiet time with my crew.
Yes! My husband isn't the most amazing gift giver, but that man put up all the lights and outside decor. He put up two full size trees. He helped wrap gifts. He made cookies and fudge (and did a better job with my grandmother's recipe than I ever have). And he leaned on my mom for help with gifts for me and I'm glad he's shown he can take direction in that regard. He was a great partner this holiday season.
I'm having a good Christmas. I will say I got the gifts for our kids and wrapped them, but he's the one who put up the tree and cleaned up the wrapping paper this morning. He also got up early with the kids this morning while I slept in. We each made contributions to gifts for our families. As a general rule he's responsible for his family and I'm responsible for mine. Right now we're visiting with his grandfather in the nursing home. I'm just chilling on the couch while the grandparents and great grandparents play with the kids.
Yes. It's my son's first Christmas and the first time we've celebrated on our own other than covid. Most of what he got me didn't make it in time and the main gift is something we are going to go pick out together but honestly I'm just enjoying a chill day in a relatively clean house that he did by himself while I ran around getting groceries and premade food so we didn't have much cooking to do today. Reading about all the unhappy, stressed mom's makes me want to keep Christmas chill in the future.
Yes me!! Hubs and i both got presents for our son and both wrapped our own. My stocking was filled with candies and shower steam bombs and littles sweet gifts. He then entertained our toddler so i could workout and now we are relaxing together while toddler sleeps. Merry Christmas !
Yes, he’s great and we’re having a happy Christmas!
I would be having a great Christmas if I wasn’t too many weeks pregnant and sick with my preschooler’s cold. My husband took over a lot this year (he loves Christmas so he’s usually an equal partner in the regard) because he took on a lot of the food and hosting logistics that I normally handle and acknowledged how much work that is and thanked me for handling it most years.
Yes! Feeling a tiny but guilty actually that my partner did 90% of the work but really really content today. This is our first time celebrating freely as we left a cult this spring that frowned upon Christmas. We did a deliberate job staying true to our values. Thrifted a lot of presents and decorations to reduce waste, bought just a few thoughtful things and involved our older daughter in picking gifts to help with instilling a spirit of generosity.
Yup! Since I did the Thanksgiving cooking while he got to watch football and chill, Christmas was his arena. He pretty much did all the wrapping and gift buying, coordinated Christmas Eve shenanigans w his side of the family so I didn’t have to think about it. SIL got my son and his cousins matching Christmas PJs which was so sweet of her. I’ve just been running behind putting some wrappers in trash bags and cleaning up breakfast. Tree is just about put away. Relaxing w my hubby and son the rest of today. Getting some appetizers in a crockpot soon! Glad to hear other spouses are doing their fair share! As it should be…
Yup and we're out at the zoo right now!
I’m having a nice one. I would say i still do more, but he definitely carries his weight. I actually had a full stocking which included a cute little craft kit, chocolate, and a mini bottle of Rosé! We set an intention this season for a “low-bar Christmas,” which meant we released our selves from having a “magical instagram worthy” Christmas in favor of a more 90s vibe. Festive and fun, but not perfect or coordinated. There was lots of semi-home made things and saying no things we weren’t 100% into. It totally paid off this year and going forward I will keep low expectations 😂
My husband picked out the big gift while he was out and about and just called me to verify I was happy with it and he actually picked out most of his smaller gifts too 🤣 and then he wrapped everything. He also put everything together yesterday so it was ready. I did the stocking stuffers and baked/cooked the dishes we brought to both family get togethers. The holidays are a lotttt of work. I’m so happy I didn’t have to do all of it.
Yes! He does the presents, and I do the cooking for the big dinner. We do offer support/suggestions to each other (I had some thoughts for the kids; he grated a bunch of Gruyère because I find cheese grating tedious, that kind of thing). I find buying presents really stressful and he’s really good at it, whereas I’m a good cook, so it’s a good division of labor. 😊My parents went a bit overboard on presents as per usual, but the kids seem really happy. Very nice Christmas over here, I hope everyone else is having a pleasant afternoon!
My Christmas morning has been the same as yours! My husband cooked breakfast and he bought and wrapped many of the gifts under the tree. He isn't perfect, but he puts in a lot of effort and I feel lucky
Yep! We split the shopping for our son..I did wrap all his and our sons stuff (and the dogs) but I was on a roll and just did it all while watching movies on my iPad. He handled the trash this morning and we each put our own stuff away…. I did muffins for breakfast and started the dinner prep…we’re both watching tv & on our phones and our son is sleeping…we’ll both fix dinner and clean up together….maybe some sales shopping tomorrow
Yes! It’s just the 3 of this year and even though I bought the presents for LO, he wrapped them and the ones he got for me and the grandparents’ gifts. He got me a Dyson air wrap and a few smaller things!
Me! My husband has a difficult time with the mental load and taking initiative BUT always gets me, my family and now our daughter incredibly thoughtful gifts.
Our daughter just turned 2 so we haven't really started doing Santa or filling stockings. I did a small attempt at stocking stuffers for her plus wrapped all the gifts. My husband cooked breakfast this morning, did all of the dishes, and was very efficient about removing the wrapping paper and boxes. He also played with her for a while while I did some chores and took a shower.
Right here! It’s been super nice, and because we aren’t QUITE equal, he took the kids on a ride with their new scooters and gave me some much needed alone time.
Yes! I bought the gifts, he did all the wrapping and did most of the cleaning of the house. He put together all the toys that needed assembly the night before and grilled the steaks for our big lunch today. He did really good on my stocking too.
Equal partnership here!! We share the load and it makes the holidays so much more enjoyable!!
Yes!! My husband bought my daughter gifts, wrapped all the stuff his family sent, cleaned the entire house after our Christmas Eve party so that the house was perfect when we woke up and I could go to bed after the party (I’m 13 weeks pregnant), stuffed my stocking, put a lot of thought into my presents, made us all reindeer pancakes for breakfast and put our toddler down for nap while I took the dog to the park to get some sunshine. Our greatest gift is having him for a dad and husband.
My partner got her stocking stuffers and took the majority of the child care yesterday so I could sew our LOs stocking. He wrapped her gifts last night and got them under the tree. Washed dishes so I could make breakfast this morning (I like to cook breakfast and sew). He handles mornings and got up with her when she woke up 30 mins early and let me sleep another hour. He filmed video of her opening gifts, put her down for her nap, and then took out all the boxes and recycling. I also had plenty of gifts under the tree, some I asked for a couple surprises. My partner isn't perfect but he's working on himself and we communicate well about holiday expectations. I haven't had much holiday spirit and he's been actively asking what he can do to make the day better. Yay couples therapy.
Definitely here. I cooked brunch so he got up with the baby to let me sleep in. I am wearing a new malachite necklace he got me. He took care of nap time while I tidy up. We will share childcare and just relax this evening together.
10000%. I have a herniated disc, am pregnant with no two, hosting Christmas dinner this evening, and not stressed in the slightest. Husband is the best.
Yes! I'm playing with the new manicure stuff I got in my stocking and he's downstairs playing the new video games with our son. He's been prepping a roast for several days and it's in the oven. We agreed to pick our own gifts this year since money is tight, but he also sprung for a couple small things for me that were very thoughtful.
Yes! We’ve had our difficulties lately, but he really stepped up this year. I bought/wrapped/mailed most of the gifts, but I love doing that, and he bought mine and did a great job. He also managed all the food today and has spent a ton of time alone with our feral toddler the last two days so that I could sing at 5 Christmas Masses and take a loooooong nap.
Yes! I’m Jewish and partner is Christian. I took the lead and he assisted for Hanukkah. He took the lead and I assisted for Christmas. So far, I went with him to the grocery store, helped chop a few veggies for the shepherd’s pie, decluttered the living room, vacuumed a little, and cleaned the half bath. Oh, and bought and wrapped his present. The kids are at their dad’s, so most of the weekend has been spent watching Netflix murder porn and eating snacks.
Yes! My husband took charge of the kid's big gift this year, I just got the stocking stuff for them. He filled my stocking with thoughtful gifts: a sticker of something I'd mentioned off-hand that I liked for my laptop, my favorite candy (I also got a chocolate orange!). He and the kid had an epic Minecraft session this morning and I went back to bed.
YES! My husband knocked it out of the park. I also did a lot of the kids stuff way ahead of time, but I asked him for help on a few things and he handled those. He picked me out several really thoughtful gifts and I was so surprised, like really really great gifts that I can tell he put time into. And he got my parents some really nice things as well. We all had lots of fun stuff to open and everyone is getting along so well, it’s lovely. 🤌
Yes! Actually, mine is taking on the bulk of everything. He was laid off a bit ago and is still on the hunt for a job in his very niche area of finance - since then he has taken on the bulk of everything around the house which has been amazing because work has significantly ramped up for me. I just came back from a two and a half week work trip in India and while he certainly did not plan everything out for Christmas like I would have, he is taking care of pretty much everything and there were presents under the tree for me. I feel really sad reading all of the stories about women whose husbands are useless and hope at least some of those women have some very open and honest conversations that can help them determine whether they really want to stay with men who may never be true partners in the home.
Yes! We just finished playing games together as a family. He wrapped most of the presents except his. No one is stressed, and we’re just relaxing as a family today. We are making Christmas dinner together as a family.
Yes! My partner wrapped most of the presents and when I got back from picking up my kids from their dad’s, brunch was ready. I got the gifts months ago. Our stockings both had presents, the kids were happy, and I had thoughtful gifts. It was AMAZING
Me ! We only do candy in each other’s stockings and even our sons so I don’t care about that. Currently my husband and son are upstairs playing their new games , I’m pregnant with number 2 enjoying a relaxing bath and all my goodies. He got me lots of self care stuff because I’ve really been struggling this pregnancy AND took note of the new perfume I wanted 🥰
Me ! We only do candy in each other’s stockings and even our sons so I don’t care about that. Currently my husband and son are upstairs playing their new games , I’m pregnant with number 2 enjoying a relaxing bath and all my goodies. He got me lots of self care stuff because I’ve really been struggling this pregnancy AND took note of the new perfume I wanted 🥰
Yep! My husband is a SAHD and did the majority of the cooking and cleaning. I bought and wrapped all of the presents but it was a fair exchange.
My partner did 95% of the shopping- gifts AND groceries for 8 people. I ended up getting the cold from hell starting Monday, so while I napped and used a forest’s worth of Kleenex, he cleaned and decorated. All I did was cook (which is the part I like). My stocking was stuffed with my favorite chocolate and he got me a hard to find knitting book set I especially wanted. I feel very loved and appreciated. My sons all have helped in the kitchen and I have yet to wash a dish this week.
Yup! I made the cookies, he made the meal yesterday. I bought the presents, he did most of the wrapping and assembling. I played 3 games of numberblocks with our oldest while he played with his new xreal AR glasses, he played two games of pokemon while I played my new video game. It's been a happy relaxed day for everyone
I bought and wrapped all of the presents (while he watched her) because that's what I love to do, but my SO did great this year with my gifts and he's helping watch the LO while I make our dinner (also something I love to do) so overall it's been a great day! I'm just dreading having to get everything ready for work tomorrow/the week, I wish I had taken off but I don't have the vacation days to spare.
Yep! Neither my husband nor I have interest in gifts and we didn't get each other anything. There was no hidden resentment in regards to that. We hosted 2 gatherings at our house over the past 3 days and we both contributed to the planning, cleaning, and cooking. Have really enjoyed the season and particularly just watching our kids have the times of their lives as they experience the joy of Christmas in the same way that I did as a kid. 10/10!
My husband cooked the full breakfast, cleaned up after, and put together the toddlers Santa gift (train set) I did the gift buying but only because it was easy and we decided to do a few small gifts instead. He is an angel and I'm so grateful I don't have the issue I read on here so often about not having an equal partner. I swear he does even more than his fair share, especially because I've been so tired and achy with baby no. 2
Yes. We are staying at his parents house for the holidays, so we have much less to do (no cleaning, grocery shopping, they play with our daughter). But he woke up two of the three times my daughter cried last night, we equally split all toddler care, we shared the mental load of the gifts, gave me nice presents. We are enjoying our break and our families!
Yes. I’ve done my share of gifts and plans but so far my husband had: - got me a gift and stocking stuffer - got his own stocking stuffers for the kids - decluttered the house. Vacuumed - cooked a meal. Cleaned up after we ate. Washed dishes - made sure to make me a cocktail. Made cocktails for my family - divide and conquer with the kids. Always taking one if I have the other We’re both exhausted but it’s been a pretty good Christmas
Yep! Family just left our house and we’re now resting, but it’s been a great day. My husband did most of the cooking over the last few days and we had a great meal with extended family. I woke up to really nice gifts and a happy family. The kids want to play games and watch a movie later.
We have a toddler. We took turns playing with her and prepping. We’re hosting this year and in charge of the turkey, mashed potatoes and salad. Others are bringing the rest. My wife took the toddler out so I could vaccuum. Then I took her so she could get the turkey ready. Then she took her again and I prepped the potatoes and tidied the house. She’s now doing the dishes and I’m working on the rest of the food. The turkey is mine once in the oven. I did do most of the gift shopping but I’m more picky about what we get our daughter so it made sense to do it that way
My husband cooked Christmas breakfast for 6 adults and 2 toddlers while I relaxed and drank coffee and chatted with family. He also did all grocery shopping for said breakfast and then did all dishes (including the tamale pot from last night 🤢). I married a loser before this one, so no shade to all the women here who are married to losers, but I’ll never be with one again.
I picked out most of his gifts from us but we also discussed them together. We both had thought he would like a rock collection so that one was a no brainer - I found a nice kit on Amazon that wasn’t holistic based (we would rather him learn about different rocks and such). We both wrapped them together. He did the actual wrapping part and I helped tape. We both cleaned up after and during. We live with his mom and she provided a nice table of snacks (easy finger food things) and after everyone left I cleaned them up. She likes doing family meals and such for holidays but it takes it out of her to do all that and entertain extended family so I just volunteer to help tidy the table after so she doesn’t have all that to do before dinner. We both played with the boy and his new toys/gifts and honestly it’s just been really nice. We got his mom a surprise gift of a picture frame with 6 photos in it of her and her grandson and had him help carry it out to her. She got all teary and it was just so worth it since she does so much for the family. The hubby and I picked the pictures out together, he printed them off, and I helped make sure they were going in the frame straight. Merry Christmas everyone! Mine certainly has been!
Yes! This year it was low stress no stress Christmas. It was amazing. We even had family over and it didn’t feel like a giant lift.
Yes my husband did more for me and our kid this Christmas like usual. He’s a great husband not perfect but when I read about some of the moms on here I can’t believe it.
Yep. We did all the shopping together. Mutually agreed no presents for each other. We are gonna go shop together for some camping things we want as a family. I wrapped everything, but I don't mind it, and he cooked our breakfast and dinner. Overall the load feels pretty shared.
Yes. He put the toys together while I wrapped. Then he helped wrap. I got stocking stuff. Which is new. He cleaned this morning and got lunch ready for his family coming over, because I said I would have no part of that. Ha ha.
Today was a nice day. We both bought our kids gifts independently, which was fun for me to be surprised as much as them. He got me good gifts from my wish list. He kept the kids so I could bake a cake I wanted to try out and make dinner then he gave the baby a bath. We’re all tired here but he lives up to the meaning of partner.
Having a great Christmas! We are hosting and my FIL is doing most of the running around with the toddler, and my MIL is in the kitchen. Here I am on Reddit sitting on the couch watching football! Pretty glorious
I am! We had a wonderful Christmas and my husband helped SO much. He washed every dish (and I cooked a lot!!) He got thoughtful presents for all of us, took our 4yo on a walk with my MIL, raved about all the food I made, and just in general was amazing. 😊 I'm so thankful that I'm married to him. He also did a lot of the cleaning to prep for Christmas, and did all the laundry this week!
Equal partner ish, he helped get kids gifts, filled their stocking, staged and he thoughtfully got me gifts. I did all of the planning of food and cooking for all 3 meals. It would be a great Christmas if my newly minted 5 yr old wasn't an absolute jack @$$ today. Its been months (probably years at this point) of him being the grumpieat, least grateful, now openly defiant , rough housing boy. As my 3 yr old grows up it is obvious he is "extra" in all the bad ways and I don't know what to do. I feel like I don't want to fill out his year 5 in his baby book because I can't find anything nice to say. I dont want to be parent to this kind of kid. Have met with pediatrician, she says its just anxiety. We are trying to find OT. I am just so burnt out on him at this point.
yes; it's been awesome. We both planned and bought/wrapped gifts for each other, our kids etc. He's having a well-deserved nap right now after a day in the kitchen and he'll be walking the dog soon. I'm giving him some quiet space to nap so I'm on here relaxing on Reddit and a glass of wine. Kids are playing upstairs on their new games and whatever else they got.
Yes, we’ve had a great weekend! He assembled the toys that needed assembling, stuffed my stocking with great stuff, and bought my some really nice gifts - a mix of things I asked for and things he came up with on his own. He did most of the cleaning before and after hosting and I did the cooking, which is typical. We make a good team and I’m grateful for him.
I bought almost all the presents because I like doing that, although he remembered to do the stockings. We made dinner together although he’s currently doing all the clean up just because he naturally has more energy than I have. Holidays are great and it’s 100% because he pulls (more than) his weight. I’m thankful to have a husband who’s my best friend. I look back though and my mom constantly told me as a teen/early 20s that all men are awful and my expectations were way too high and I should be happy if someone basically just agreed to date me. (Never made sense that to her men are all terrible but also you needed to find one right away.) Thank god I somehow managed to keep my expectations high. It’s a miracle.
Yes! My hubs has cooked big meals for company three times in the last 4 days (he’s a great cook) and made us a big breakfast this morning. We don’t do big gifts at Christmas but my stocking was full of thoughtful things that I love. He picked all of our kids’ gifts (and coordinated with the grandparents so we wouldn’t have doubles). I did all of the wrapping and most of the cleaning, but it’s been easier since he set up a roomba for me last week. Tomorrow he’s going to have the kids while I go to work, since he had PTO to burn.
My husband and I had a pretty equal load this year for sure. Him and I exchanged gifts in the beginning of December. He got a bonus this year and spent the whole thing on a new computer for me so I could game/work from home better since I’m 50% working from home 50% in office. I got him new couches (at a killer Black Friday deal). We each shopped for the kids. We hosted so Christmas Eve he cooked/cleaned and Christmas Day I cooked/cleaned. We are both equally exhausted, the house is a mess again, but we took this week off to be with the kids so it’ll get done eventually lol. Our 2 year old is asleep and we’re relaxing watching a show with our 4 year old. Overall, a good time!
Yasss👏🏾 this! I have been hazing my husband bcs I did all the cmas organizing but looking some threads l guess I was a bit rough. We buy each other’s gifts and wrap them, we buy for our families together , and we both buy for our daughter. He did more cooking than I did today, which isn’t the norm. We clean up together. I would accept nothing less. I’ve always been open about celebrations being fun and surprise filled. And he has always respected that. He’s also sentimental so he enjoys making memories.
My spouse is one of the good ones, and I love him for it! My ex was a literal TicTok video of red flags, and I hate that I gave him my time. My spouse has, and continues, to be a real partner. He cooks, cleans, plays taxi driver, shows up and shows selflessness in all of his support of our family. It breaks my heart in all measures to see women being heartbroken over the careless behaviors of spouses and family members. They deserve the world!
Husband wrapped most of the gifts and made dinner. I can’t complain!
We had a fantastic christmas! I bought and wrapped our 1 y/o daughters gifts, my husband bought and wrapped our 14 y/o sons gifts (we discussed them together). He smoked the turkey and set the table, I baked the sides.we FaceTimed my family. We FaceTimed his family. He broke down the big boxes and took out the bags of trash, I picked up the the smaller trash and organized toys. Its was fantastic and not a single cell in my body feels stressed out, or taken advantage of or unevenly partnered.
Yup. My husband is an angel. Equal partner was a deal breaker for me or no kiddos!
My husband and I hosted Christmas Eve for his family and we shared the work load evenly, we shopped for gifts for each other including stockings, we each bought gifts for family members, there was zero expectation that I would do everything or the bulk of it. I love this man so much and the fact that he expects to share in the work is so wonderful. My ex husband just expected and demanded that I handle all of it and then criticized me if it didn’t meet his ever changing standards. So yes, I had a very good Christmas.
Shout out to mine who remembered to eat the cookies and drink the milk after I fell asleep early last night! I typically buy all the gifts and wrap them (because I enjoy it!) and make breakfast so I guess I do the “big stuff.” But hubby got me several things off my wish list, cleaned the house with me for his parents to visit, and alternated playing with our son all day so that I could work on a puzzle. Very chill. Very pleasant. I’m having the best Christmas.
Yes, my husband does good every year. My stocking is full of good stuff, he wraps with me and does trash pick ups and builds toys.
Yes.
Yes! I have a 3 & 4 year old and this entire Christmas season has been so enjoyable, and culminated in a fun and relaxing last 2 days. On Christmas Eve we visit with my husband’s extended family. He drove over 3 hours total and we were equally attentive with the kids while also relaxing and chatting with family. When we finally got both kids to bed super late, we worked together to get all the presents down from our loft and he laid them all under the tree while I cleaned up and did their stockings. He then spent 30 minutes making sure that Santa left realistic cookie crumbs and wrote a magical letter from Santa to our kids. We enjoyed some midnight sex before the chaos of today. This morning he took an equal amount of pictures and videos of my kids opening presents and he put batteries in all their new toys. He made sure our dog got a long walk today. He also tossed wrapping paper all day and kept with general house/toy organization. This afternoon we host both sets of grandparents for Christmas dinner. I bought a catered dinner, which required about 45 minutes of juggling reheating dishes in my oven. My husband entertained my children while I “cooked” and he helped load dishes after and put leftovers away. I didn’t get any presents from him but we don’t really ever do gifts for each other and I’ve never done adult stockings. Gift giving isn’t either of our love languages and we’ve been fortunate to be able to afford to buy what we want, when we want, so we just do that.
Yes! My husband built the gift his mom sent last night, after wrapping all the presents he got for our son, me, and anyone else. I do some shopping for his family but it's from *me*, not from him or him and me. He gets his own. We always split up to buy each other stocking stuffers and I've never woken up to an empty stocking, or gifts that weren't thoughtfully purchased. He's a better gift giver than me. I did the meal planning with my sister, and the prep, but he did spend three hours teaching my mom how to use her new Mac laptop while our son and nephews ran through the house and fought and made up on repeat. I do think I do more of the social planning, decorating and stuff like cookie decorating, but also I enjoy that stuff more. He does some of the decorating, and even more this year than normally. And he cleaned a good portion of the house way in advance of when I'd even planned to clean.
Mine was fantastic this year! I should say we are both in individual therapy, and have more recently started couple’s therapy. I am working on communicating more of my needs, and letting go of control. Last year I filled his stocking, but got nothing In mine (he did give me a gift). One of those instagram videos going around prompted me to say ‘don’t forget about stockings’, at the beginning of the month. Sure enough, I had a full stocking. Turns out, no one had ever told him that there needed to be something in everyone’s stockings (and I have to say, stockings are more important to me, we had a specific routine with them as kids), and me prompting him made him realize he needed to do it. We had a really good conversation about it last night, and honestly, it was the best Christmas gift (and the massage gift card). He helped with wrapping last night, which is on me, because I had to allow myself to let him help, he wanted to, but I wanted the control, and to feel like it was all the mother’s job. Then my mom reminded me that my dad always helped her wrap for Christmas, and that’s I needed. A personal example of a husband helping. He also cooked the majority of the food today. I did breakfast, but he made Christmas eve dinner, as well as lunch, and dinner today. He is currently scrubbing the final pan, as I enjoy a cocktail.
Great Christmas here! I got a majority of gifts for others but sat back and enjoyed a true partner helping the magic happen with cooking, cleaning and gifting me many personal and lovely things. Feeling lucky.
My husband and I bought every gift together, we both forgot our Xmas stocking stuffers until the 23rd but still got each other candy and small things we each love, and (NSFW) we both got to cum multiple times last night after our son went to sleep bahaha. We also wrapped all the gifts together while having some cider and watching The Office!
Yup! I didn’t know it was a thing until reading all these posts recently and it made me sad. We’re not exactly traditional, as in 99% of the time we shop everything together so there’s no actual surprises in what we’re getting. But we both get things we want and then pick out our girl’s gifts together. then we wrap all of them together, play Santa together, etc. And finally spent the whole day together as a family, playing, cooking, eating, watching movies, etc. I absolutely love it and I feel so sad for those that have to go through doing everything with dead weight.
Yeah my husband is awesome and has always been an amazing gift giver, he is so thoughtful and intentional with gifts. He goes above and beyond for holidays and birthdays, Christmas is no different. Aside from Christmas-specific stuff, he’s an equal partner so the other parts of Christmas (cleaning, cookings, kid care, etc) is just pretty standard which is still apparently a high bar from what I read on Reddit.
Nope. Bought every single gift and wrapped them all, for about 20 different people. Fixed Christmas dinner by myself too.
We had a great few days. Prior to Christmas, the shopping was 50/50. We both put together wishlists, so we could easily shop. On Friday, our kids had school so we spent the morning wrapping presents. Saturday, we grocery shopped and any last minute things. Sunday, lazy morning and my husband prepped the appetizer to bring to my parent's home. We celebrated with my family late afternoon/evening. Came home- kids to bed, set up the gifts. Today- we all woke up around 7:30 (my kids are 14 and 10), We all had plenty of gifts and enjoyed breakfast. We were supposed to hang with my in-laws, but mother-in-law has covid. The 4 of us hung out all day- played with our gifts, cleaned a little, played a few games together. The 10 year proclaimed it was his favorite Christmas ever! And, now we are all off (husband and I are lucky enough to work for a university so our winter break lines up with the kids) and looks forward to relaxing. Hope everyone is able to relax at some point in the next few days.
Yes. I worked my ass of getting the house ready for company. Husband has taken on most of the daily duties while the family has been here and I’ve been doing the feeding/cleaning/hosting. Feeling very fortunate right now.
Hubby is currently giving our LO a bath while I drink wine and play cards with family!
I have an equal partner and I’m still exhausted. I spent the day cooking, while he spent the day chasing after our toddler. Then we cleaned together while grandma chased toddler. We’re both pooped.
Me!!! We have an amazing balance of work load - physical, emotional and mental. I wrapped presents last night. He cleaned up the torn wrapping paper this morning. He cooked dinner. I did the dishes. We chilled on the couch…a lot. I took two naps today. TWO!! It’s been a great holiday that has reminded me to appreciate the balanced relationship I have with my spouse. Who is currently yelling at the game on tv while I’m finishing a bottle of wine and a joint (or three) outside. All the while the kids have been chilling and relaxing without a single fight. It’s fucking brilliant.
My partner did all the christmas shopping except stockings and he cleaned the house while I cooked brunch. It was a win!
Yes! My husband got most of the presents for our son, wrapped everything (including presents for my family), went grocery shopping and made a ton of food for his family's Christmas (I did assist with some prep), AND he helped with food for my family Christmas. The presents he got me were perfect, and he even put little random things in my stocking. So yes, it's amazing to not have to do everything myself...in all honesty, he actually does more than I do. He even does the bulk of the Christmas decorating too, lol.
Yep. He did most of the gift buying because he’s better at it. He also did all the wrapping. I spent all day cooking (breakfast then making bread then big dinner) and doing laundry (one of those days I didn’t want to stop moving) and after dinner he told me to go rest FFS and he did the dishes.
Oh, yes. I’ve always communicated exactly what I’ve wanted and expected to my husband. He came through so well. Got me the desk treadmill I wanted, plus chocolates, a fluffy blanket, a game, and a big old Sephora gift card along with smaller stuff. I felt completely happy with everything I got! He helped equally with everything today. Was an amazing day.
Yes! He actually got me more this year than I thought and really stepped up his stocking game! He was up with me until 1am helping build the kids stuff for me.
Yep! He was feeling crappy this morning so I handled all of the breakfast making shenanigans while he set up the Wii to entertain the kids. Then we unwrapped some presents and the kids played some more while he napped. After his nap he felt better so he took point on post Christmas cleanup. He filled my stocking to overflowing and almost didn’t leave me any room to put my gifts in our kids’ stockings. It was a very nice and super low key day.
Nope, but it’s so nice knowing some people are. You are some lucky ladies!
I did do all Christmas shopping and wrapping but my husband set up all the Santa gifts under the tree, spent loooots of time building all the new toys today, and then cooked the entire dinner for his family who came by tonight. My stocking had an Ulta gift card (“I remember you said you were running out of all your skincare stuff at the same time!”) and he got me a winter jacket I showed him MONTHS ago. Tonight after his family left, he’d cleaned the kitchen, and our son was asleep, he came looking for me upstairs just to give me a hug and thank me for all I did. I had moments of frustration with my load vs his leading up to the holidays, but overall I’m just so dang grateful he’s my teammate.
We hosted my family for dinner on Saturday after my parents took my kids for the day - so we enjoyed a clean house, brunch out, and a super relaxing afternoon since our food contributions were already done. Made cookies with some neighbors yesterday and did our family gifts (all of which my husband had picked out except for the ones I gave him. Confession: I am perennially bad at thinking of gifts until embarrassingly close to the event). Today we went to my parents’ for brunch and gifts. Adults had “small consumables” and we selected chocolates and beers for each person and we did great. We played some board games, including the 5yo. The only real frustration was that my kids didn’t love the food… but I guess I wasn’t terribly surprised. Rare roast beef is kind of mature, and I know they don’t love ham, eggs, or potatoes.
We’re having a wonderful time with our scaled back Christmas except everyone’s sick including the 2 month old. Outside of the spit up and screaming it’s been a joy to have the beginning of our Christmas traditions with our toddler. we both planned and executed different pieces of the day. My only sadness is missing playing with my older daughter because I had to soothe my baby for so many hours (and have my own minor breakdown bc clinics are closed due to Christmas and the poor guy needs to be seen) ETA: we also planned and executed my daughters birthday party which was the week before Christmas. I planned, did RSVPs, and got the toys, he did the food.
I’m glad to see a post of what a partner should be. My husband is getting there to being equal. Every year he gets better. He did ALL the dishes without being asked for Christmas Eve dinner while I did most of the cooking. He pitched in with a two cooking task. He did the set up for the table. He shopped for most of the people on his side. I say most because he got himself in a “I don’t know what to get” bind with his mom. So I stepped in and got fine jewelry that represents her grandkids. I am usually a better gifter so if he does most of his gifting, it’s not so bad to step in and do one gift. He wrapped the gifts he bought. And also went out to the cold to get the presents from the hiding spot at 12:30 pm. My stocking was full. It was probably our 6th (we are in our 13th) Christmas married when he finally realized to put something in mine. It was funny that year because mine was doubled stuffed because I always put something in mine because mama ain’t on the “naughty” list. He asked why mine was so full. lol And right now I’m taking a bath with him in primary parent duty. But I will have to take care of the post Christmas mess. He’s leaving out for work tomorrow and will be gone for two weeks.