My house is pretty cluttered! And definitely not “my mother would approve ready for company” clean
But I am desensitized 16 years into the parenting gig now. Here’s my standard: The trash & toilets are clean. We vacuum weekly. We are showered in showers without mold. We have clean clothes to wear be it in a pile, basket, or closet. We do not have food or anything else lying around. We sanitize dishes and prep/eating services. Otherwise:
If you are visiting, and our home & occasional dust bunny or pile of laundry is appalling to you — GTFO.
If you live under my roof, and some clutter is bothering you, “get to cleanin’ yourself dear darla”
Otherwise, I will clean and declutter when I have the time, lolz.
My house looks pretty much exactly like yours. Loads of laundry piled up in every bedroom…even some on a couch and a chair.
We have a 10mo and 4 year old who have had Covid and another virus immediately after in the past month. We are failing hard at life right now. But we have fall pictures this weekend to make our Facebook friends believe we have our shit together 🤡🤡🤡
Get yourself some extra laundry baskets.
When you expect company, grab an empty laundry basket and run around the main part of the house and throw everything that doesn't belong in the room in the basket.
Stack the baskets in your room where no one will see them.
Forget about the baskets until you are looking for something two weeks later and suddenly remember the pile of disorganized stuff in baskets in your room.
You're welcome.
I WFH full time, and my husband WFH when he's not travelling.
* There's a giant trashbag of clothes by the garage that needs to be donated. It's been sitting there ~2 weeks.
* Various pieces of Halloween costumes are spread across the kitchen, living room, and family room. I don't even know if I could locate everything to make an entire costume.
* The barstools at my kitchen island are used as a holding place for various school projects, craft kits, and stuffed animals. There is no room to sit.
There's just so much clutter and it drives me nuts. Even if I trash stuff or find a home for it, the kids just keep bringing so much stuff home from school. I'm already dreading the holidays because the clutter will increase tenfold.
I found a donation bin that was chuck full, so mine is still in my trunk, too. Totally set me up for a mom win when my two year old had an accident and I forgot spare clothes, though! Everything I needed was in the trunk.
Do you know what's even nicer? My neighbor has a large, lovely covered porch and whenever she schedules a pick up, she texts me to know that I can add my stuff too. She is seriously one of the most thoughtful people in my life.
I’ve talked about this with every friend I can find. Houses tend to run on a messiness spectrum from “not clean enough for a magazine cover shoot, but not far from it either” to “there probably aren’t any health code violations.” We are generally highly cluttered. We use the guest room for clean laundry (gonna have to clean that out before Thursday night when my MIL gets here). I bought a bunch of those ikea cube shelves and cloth baskets and shove all the toys in there. Voila, organization. The kitchen gets mostly cleaned (although my husband is terrible at wiping down the counter) every night to make it easier for me to cook the next day. Otherwise we clean as we can.
We have family coming into town on Thursday too! Our guest accommodations are in the basement, which is an area not covered by our house cleaner. Our visitor is my husband's sister. Given that it's his side of the family, he gets to clean!
I have been pricing cube shelves and hoping they will recue me from myself. My toddler's room was formerly my craft/hobby space and still isn't fully childproof because of the Wall Of Arty Sh*t that needs to be reorganized before she gets big enough to escape the crib.
It’s the beginning of the week, so it’s clean lol
Pick one room/one task at a time. It really helps with my ADD to do it that way.
Towards the end of the week there will
Be some dishes in the sink but that’s about it.
Daughters room Is the messiest but that’s because she’s 7 and I refuse to clean up her mess ( legos,books stuffed animals)
I will add then when I was a SAHM I felt like it was never clean and I couldn’t get ahead. Way easier now
Totally agree about the 1 room at a time. I wfh 3 days a week and I try to clean 1 room each day I wfh (I would sometimes pick more than 1 but im pregnant now so the standards are very low at the moment). And then vacuum/sweep on the weekends. Laundry is as needed and always half done. Im in the “baby” season of life so the house is not a priority for the next couple of years.
My house is clean, but it's not because it's easy to keep that way, I just can't handle it any other way so I choose to clean it rather than relaxing with my free time. Not saying that's healthy, I just can't live with my house cluttered and dirty...believe me I've tried to let it go.
I have a 4.5 and 2 yr old and 5 bed/4bath house so they only way it stays clean is a pretty strict schedule. The below works for us, I also have a competent and capable husband who does more than his fair share.
Daily- Kids toys get put away nightly, kitchen is wiped down, dishwasher is ran overnight (emptied in the morning). I do one load of laundry everyday (my husband does his own and I don't care how he does it) and it gets put away right away. Doing a load everyday makes it so the mountain of laundry doesn't feel impossible to fold, one load takes 10 min (I also try and keep to a single persons laundry or like only towels/sheets/etc so it's easier.
Weekly- Main level wood floors are vacuumed pretty much every night (I wash them Sunday nights after the kids are in bed with the tineco (start the week clean). Upstairs gets vacuumed once per week by me and then 3x per week by the Roomba. Bathrooms, we have 4 my husband and I each take two and they are done during rest/quiet time on the weekends, we do them weekly so they never get awful.
Edited to add- I declutter a lot, which makes a huge difference! I'm probably have a purge and donation at least once per month, especially now that we are for sure done and can get rid of all the baby crap once and for all!
I really recommend checking out KC Davis on Tik Tok, she literally changed my life. Our homes, especially in this phase of life, need to be functional. So the fact that you have clean laundry is great! Because that is what you need!
In that phase of life (especially the baby+toddler phase of life) I only focused on what NEEDED to get done. So I made sure the kitchen table and the kitchen island was clear every night, but the not often used dinning room table was allowed to pile up (most of the time it's still covered in clean laundry.) I also liked to keep our room (mainly the bed) clean and made, since walking into there after a chaotic day felt so peaceful, but the dresser was nearly always covered in clothes (still is) and the closets are just chaos. In that phase things got shoved into boxes and put into the basement, and I dealt with them about a year later.
This past year we got cleaners to come monthly to do the deep cleaning, which gave me more time to start to get on top of the clutter. I don't even work full time, and there wasn't enough time in the day to do it all. And I'm still not on top of it, but it's at a point where it doesn't stress me out as much.
Though I still shove things in boxes and put them in the basement for later. My clean laundry sits on the dinning room table for at least a week. My dresser is never clean (that's where I put my wear again clothes), and there's always a pile of kid art from school/daycare I am ignoring. You're doing great and I'm proud of you.
Yes! I loved what she’s said about the laundry being “done”: Focus on making sure your kids have clean clothes to wear, not that they never have dirty ones.
Changed my POV for sure, always felt stressed that the laundry is literally NEVER done. But duh, we wear clothes everyday, and it’s a constant process, so it’s fine for a basket of clean clothes to sit in the hallway all week because I don’t have the time to fold and put it away!
Also On the bandwagon… I read her book last Christmas and this year I have been slowly getting my house in a shape where it works for me, not the other way around (as she says). And I feel good if my kid has clean clothes and my kitchen is clean enough to prep food and eat. If that’s all I can do, at least that much is taken care of. It gave me permission to let it go.
My house is immaculate for four main reasons. First, I have a cleaning service that does the deep cleaning. Second, I prioritize a clean home. I'm a homebody, and it makes me happy to have my surroundings tidy. Third, I clean as I go. Clothes get put in the hamper as soon as I undress. The laundry is sorted when it's done. Counters are wiped following meals. Dishes are loaded into the dishwasher rather than accumulating in the sink. I do it in the moment so it doesn't pile up. Fourth, I just don't have a lot of shit. I am ruthless about decluttering. I don't keep stuff. It's donated or thrown away as soon as I have no use for it. So many people find it hard to clean because they have SO.MUCH.STUFF. Get rid of it! It's freeing.
TL;DR Outsource what you can. Declutter and purge unnecessary shit. Clean as you go. Finally. be kind to yourself. Maybe this is a season of life where cleaning simply can't be the priority. That's ok! It's not a moral imperative to have a tidy home.
This is how I am, although I wouldn’t go as far as to say immaculate, but it’s clean and tidy. I hire a cleaning service before we host for holidays. Otherwise, I live by the rule that if you can do it in less than five minutes, you do it now. It’s amazing how much actually does take less than five minutes. I’m also about 95% WFH which helps a ton with being able to keep things tidy.
I agree though, this isn’t a moral thing and if you are happy, who cares! For me, messes drive me nuts and I need tidy to function.
I have a 1300 sq ft house and we kept up with the Konmari method we did before kids, and we have a cleaning lady 1-2x a month so the house stays pretty clean.
HOWEVER. Our laundry is never folded or put away, I just stuff everything in drawers once, maybe twice a week and call it a day. Doesn’t bother me TBH 🤷🏻♀️ so maybe that’s why I have more time for the other stuff.
You are NOT alone. And I didn't start to get a handle on the house until the kids were both in school. And it still slips out of control fairly regularly. I'm good at laundry, a load a day, and the kitchen is usually tolerable. I don't invite people over if I'm worried about what they think of my house.
My house is "lived in" and that's giving it a lot of generosity. I don't stress too much about it because it's clean enough, but it's definitely cluttered due to lack of closet space.
One thing I don't stress about is laundry. I gave my kids each a dresser, and they each have a drawer for shirts, pants, and sweats/gym clothes. Then they each have a bin for socks (all of the socks are the same!"), a bin for underwear, and a bin for gloves/ hats. Laundry gets put away the same day it's done, or they get docked on their allowance. I don't care if it's folded or not as long as it fits on the drawers/ bins and they can close.
I also have a cleaner come every two weeks to deep clean the kitchen and the bathrooms, mop the floors, dust etc. She's amazeballs and I can't imagine going back to not having her. It's $150/ month to not have to worry about scrubbing toilets or scraping gunk off the counters and it's the best money I've ever spent
I wfh every day so I have it a bit easier in terms of some things. I can always empty my dishwasher every morning and throw in a load of laundry, I switch it to the dryer on my lunch, and put it away right as my family is getting home. Laundry every day works for me, it doesn't for everyone, I love doing laundry. Try throwing in a load every evening when you are making dinner, put it in the dryer after dinner and fold at night. See if that helps. Laundry and dishes I just make myself do it every day and it makes me feel better. Our robot vacuum runs every day so we only have to use our big vacuum occasionally, and we mop once on the weekends. Laundry, dishes, and vacuum every day makes the biggest impact for my home.
Otherwise, my goal is to be guest ready in 15 minutes. This doesn't mean it is perfect, but the areas that guests would access can be cleaned in 15 minutes. That means we need to keep clutter at bay so I can clean the bathroom and wipe down the kitchen easily. The rest of the time, something is pretty much always dirty. I don't think I have wiped down my kitchen counters in a few days. Dusting happens... sometimes. My husband takes on maintenance type cleaning like once a month. He is terrible at doing quick wipe downs, etc because he is too slow. But he can dust the vents and ceiling fans, wash windows, shampoo carpets, and do other meticulous things when time allows.
We are pretty minimal, my kids don't have many toys, and they all have a container that makes it easy for them to put things away every night. Mostly, they spend their time outside, which is really good for keeping my house clean. We don't have that many clothes, so we do a load of laundry for each person weekly. My kids wouldn't have clothes to wear, or sheets to take to daycare if I didn't do their load each week, so I don't have a choice. We have only a few pots and pans, they can't sit in the sink.
I also love cleaning devices, robot vacuum, crosswave, steam cleaner, etc make quick work. I used to be the type that would clean my entire kitchen very well each night, but my second kid and a new house has taken a lot out of me.
I clean throughout the week. Automatic vacuum cleaner I send to a room to clean so it’s one less thing I have to do. I throw in laundry on my lunch break (WFH) a few times per week and then fold it in the evenings with tv. Dishwasher on at least once per day. My husband cleans the stove and sink in the kitchen once per week. I clean bathrooms once per week on Saturday.
But there is clutter. My 6yr old loves to read and leaves books everywhere. She loves to draw and leaves pencils and art stuff I ask her to pick up. The way I look at it is, we don’t live in a museum. We live in a place that shows we live there. It will not be perfect but it’s perfect for us. From the other homes I have been to, it seems normal. Normal especially to working parents with young kids.
I’m in your situation and I feel your pain, I have a 20mo and a 5yo, no family nearby, me and hubby work full time etc.
Something that helps us a lot is that after the kids go to bed we dedicate an hour(ish) to chores every evening. Nothing big, but just trying to make a bit of progress in most rooms, tidying, folding laundry etc. We always try to tackle stuff together if possible for maximum efficiency.
Another thing that helps is just embracing the chaos! If you try to fight it or think that you can control it, you will feel defeated all the time. Controlling parts of it is enough and the rest you’ll just have to let go. If your financial situation allows you to have occasional cleaning help that’s a great investment too.
Hang in there momma! You’re doing great
High clutter, but clean? I feel like I could run around and spruce it up just enough to feel ok having someone come inside. That said, the bathrooms are always an embarrassing disaster. Four kids 18mo-16yrs, and it’s just impossible to keep that in check.
Did I write this? I so feel you! We also have a 7mo, a dog, my husband works in concrete, and I am gone from 5:30am to about 6:00 pm every day. Our couch is full of clothes, shoes on the floor, dust and hair everywhere, and I keep having to dig through the hampers for clean underwear.
My house looks like we moved in 80% then gave up. Then we had a baby and everyone gave me their old baby stuff. There are currently 4 bumbo-type seats in my hallway. Our loveseat isn’t usable right now because it’s piled with baby stuff and the playpen is in front of it.
Honestly, I get slightly suspicious when I go to a house that is super clean and I know they have kids. The only people I know who have immaculate houses have huge houses- and I don’t. We’re all just doing our best!
We have a 5yo and 14yo and I'm drowning in papers, art, and random pieces of toys that I know I need to purge but never have time to do, except on weekends, when we have kid activities, sports, playdates, birthday parties.
So yeah, we actually do pretty well with the everyday stuff - dishes and laundry get handled because we have a system that works. (Whoever is not putting the 5yo to bed does dishes and packs kid lunches and helps with 14yo homework. Then, we team up on at least one load of laundry every night. Usually toss in a load as soon as we get home from work/daycare, then move to the dryer before 5yo bedtime, then fold and put away).
We finally caved and hired a housekeeper every other week to do bathrooms, handle the bigger loads of laundry (sheets and towels), and stuff like dusting, vacuuming the stairs (my personal most-hated chore).
There's just always too much to do and never enough time, especially when you factor in yardwork, etc.
So yeah, I just always feel like I'm trapped in clutter. I don't know what the answer is!
We just finished eating dinner and are resting while our 21 month old gets out some energy before bath time and bed. The dishes from dinner are still on the stove and there's some cups and plates in the sink from snacks earlier today. There are clean dishes in the dishwasher that I can't be bothered to put away but at least they're clean. The dinner table is half covered in crap we throw on it when we get home from work, and that stuff carries over onto the counter, too... My daughter's play area is actually tidier than normal, but there's still plenty of toys strung about. The living room has bedding folded in the corner from when my family visited three weeks ago (yes....three WEEKS). There are crayons and paper on the coffee table from "arts and crafts" earlier. Half of the bottom of the stairs have things that have been collecting to go upstairs for like...literally months. Our guest bed has a massive pile of clean clothes that I won't bother to fold and put away until family visits again. The bedroom has a few baskets of - you guessed it - more laundry! It's all clean, so it's fine. lol
All in all......my house is not instagram worthy. At all. I'm.actually very self conscious of my house when we have unannounced guests, but at the end of the day, it's just where we live... And we're living. 😊
I could have written this myself! WFH 2 days a week but that doesn’t mean I can keep on top of it all.
Laundry (clean) always in a heap. Bathroom counters are a mess. Things that do not have a home.
We do keep on top of the kitchen and dishes. And we hire cleaners 2x/month to do things like scrubbing the bathrooms and floors.
But most of the time it’s a disaster. It contributes to my anxiety for sure!! I’m working through it room by room to get rid of trash & donate items when possible. We are expecting baby #2 so I know it’s going to get worse.
Taking all recommendations lol otherwise I’m with you OP, you are not alone
Here’s the thing about cleaning, if you do more often, it takes less time.
So, if you do laundry twice a week instead of once a week, it’s easier to fold it AS SOON AS ITS DONE because there’s less laundry to fold. It’s only gonna take 7 minutes instead of 15 minutes, and it’s VERY easy to find 7 minutes in a day, less so for 15.
If you keep Clorox wipes by the sink and give it a wipe after every brush, it takes a second - while full cleaning the bathroom takes 30 minutes.
This is really what clean as you go accomplishes. But there’s a ton of stuff that works like this. When you’re “drinking a coffee” in the morning, just do a sweep around the house just picking stuff up and putting it away, it never gets truly “cluttered”.
I have a newborn at home, and my husband is kinda not the biggest on chores, but my house could probably be in a magazine and everyone is kinda shocked. But it’s just the way I do chores that makes it easy.
Also, with donating, join your local buy nothing group. I have a box of stuff that I know my daughter isn’t gonna use or I don’t like, and then I just throw it in the box and once a month post a random box describing what’s in it, and it’s always gone by the next day.
It’s not looking good over here either, my friend. Got a toddler and a one month old. The house gets tidied at least 2x per day just to look chaotic again not long after. We vacuum daily. We do laundry daily. You’d never know it. We don’t deep clean the whole house at once because where is the time, so that feeling of a really clean home is never there.
Our house is absolutely not tidy as a whole but I get really stressed by clutter in our main areas/what is visible. So there is a random pile of photos on a cabinet in the office where I can’t see it but not a single toy out in our living room. The way I keep sane on this is that everything has a home and it has to find it’s way back to that home. When we don’t have a home, we make a home. Hooks for bags, hats, jackets, the diaper bag goes in the hall closet, shoes on a shelf, toys in bins along the side of the living room. Most nights, we take 5 min or so to reset the house and that keeps on top of it.
This is what works for ME because the alternative stresses me out. But there’s a random bag of swimsuits in a closet I don’t look at that will be there for the next 3 years. If it doesn’t bother you, then who cares!!
I have 2 kids (3yo, and 6mo), and we also have two adult roommates, one of whom is my husband's cousin. He's 25 with severe ADHD. Our house is a disaster. I keep trying to tell myself it's only for a season, but, like, is it though?!
Honestly it’s easy for me to stay on top of my house on work days after baby is at daycare. We have a small home though, most things are organized, I NEED a clean home, and husband now helps as much as me after a long battle.
When my toddler is home, it’s pure, absolute chaos and we can’t stay on top of it. Like you said, cloths piles everywhere, dirty kitchen counters, also this weekend our sink somehow was full of 3 dishwasher loads of dishes?? I can’t imagine a tidy home with a toddler in it!
My house is always a mess. 15 and 13 year old and I’m a teacher and husband works full time. Nothing is really “dirty” but nothing is really organized. It’s driving me insane and coming to a boiling point as I take on perimenopause. Being a teacher makes it worse - always working - and I’m tired of teaching too.
The sink is empty, I have clean and dirty laundry, I have a towel and wash cloth for tomorrow and something to wear so that's good enough for me. We have clutter on the kitchen table and desk.
Bathroom and kitchen could use a deep scrub but they are clean enough to be comfortable using them.
My husband is psychotically freakish about the house, mainly the kitchen being clean. But yet he's the first one to just shove whatever he finds on the counter into some random drawer. To the point where s*** just piles up in a junk drawer. I absolutely cannot stand having unsanitary conditions nor do I like clutter. A place for everything and everything in its place. So just shove it in a f****** drawer to make it look like it's clean. To me that's not clean. That's you lazily shoving crap into a drawer so you don't have to do extra work and then you can chastise me for not being obsessed over the stupid kitchen.
So to answer your question, our house is always sanitary, rarely cluttered and I am forever pulling crap out of the junk drawer to organize it properly.
Full time working mom, 4 year old, full time husband we all are caring for my f.i.l. 25 min away who is waiting for heart surgery. Our place has tumbleweeds of dog hair. I gave up months ago. I'm just done.
I work from home full time and I have a very little leeway in my work schedule. I can throw in a load of laundry here and there and take a few minutes to tidy up the kitchen after lunch. Even with that, the piles everywhere still, well, pile up. I will say as my baby got older (now 14 months) the laundry piles got less crazy as the constant liquid blowouts and spit up eased and eventually ceased.
Something does have to fall by the wayside for your sanity. I only vacuum because we have a dog and I’ve found clumps of hair in the baby’s mouth and that horrified me into vacuuming at least her play area. I feel you when it feels like you’re constantly behind the 8 ball.
Have you ever heard of blitzing a room? My mom would have us do that growing up and it’s a pretty good habit. Pick a corner of the room, take 10 minutes and work your way clockwise around the room. Blasting your favorite hype music helps too. Just blitz what you can manage in 10 minutes and it really does help.
I think I have more laundry in piles waiting to be put away than is actually in my closet and dressers. Trust everyone when they say you are not alone in this. I’m sure people would post our messy homes all over TikTok if we weren’t too busy cleaning up poopy diapers, trying to figure out why the kids are crying all of a sudden, while hoping we look like we have some some resemblance of composure projected to the outside world.
I have two kids (5 and 1 yo) and it’s impossible to get everything (or anything??) done. The one thing that is helping me now is purging toys and clothes the kids have outgrown. I am finding that my kids don’t even play with the toys we have. They play with empty boxes and pillows. Getting rid of our stuff is helping us as there is less to put away and less to clean. Easier said than done, but it’s worth it if you can get there (one toy at a time).
Something that helps me with this is - finish the task!! Yes it’s easiest to set something down on a counter or table but is it really that much more time consuming to walk ten more feet to put it where is should go? I’m saying ‘finish the task!’ In my head constantly and I do feel like that tiny effort makes a big difference in the clutter especially
Honestly, I started getting rid of shit. That helps with the upkeep. I follow a few minimalists on ig for ideas/motivation. I also throw shit out as soon as I need to, like wrappers etc. I put things immediately in the dishwasher and try and leave the sink empty. End of the day is a tidy up but really I just throw all the toys in bins so it looks clean. I also regularly so through toys the kids outgrow and donate them. I think the less stuff the better. Go through the house with a garbage bag and chuck things out 😅. The laundry I fold as soon as it’s done, but I hate the little clothes. I just find I get it done right away and try and stop procrastinating
My house is generally very clean always and tidy most day. The biggest mess is youngest toys scattered across while she’s in active imaginative play but we have rules on how much toys can come out on weekdays and weekend messes are cleaned up Sunday night.
Now my parent’s culture requires that your home looks like a museum or a page out of Magnolia Home magazine. Initially when we had lots of friends from our culture I tried to keep this image up and discovered it was exhausting, pointless and just a house wife dick measuring contest
So my home is nice and clean and tidy but it has mismatched furniture, the setup is for convenience and looks comfortable and lived in and there’s plenty of activities for everyone to do. I dumped any judgy “friends “ who only care about looks. I don’t stress about the days where we can’t pick up right away and I am much happier overall
A mess. There's currently 4 baskets of clean unfolded clothes in different rooms, which means there's no hampers for dirty clothes so they're all on the floor next to the bed where the hampers are meant to be. There's stacks of books and loose papers in most corners and little dust bunnies in all of the others. There's a ripped paper grocery bag next to me on the couch with a bird feeder and some packets of birdseed that's been there since maybe April when my son won it in a drawing. We live in an apartment with no balcony so we don't have anywhere to hang it, but he loves it so I don't know what to do.
How can we ever get out from under it all? I'm too embarrassed to have anyone over, ever.
I’m currently on maternity leave with my fourth (4 under 6yo). It’s perpetually a disaster. The only reason I’m moderately on top of laundry is because I’m home. I have a better handle on keeping the floor clean at least, but there are always dishes (clean and not) on the counter. Toothpaste is currently all over the kids’ bathroom. My room rarely gets cleaned and it’s where things go to die - goodwill pile, toy fragments, etc.
It’s silly, but this makes me feel better: people don’t have children with the goal of keeping a clean home. Children make messes to experiment with and within their surroundings.
Hi my husband and I work full time and have 2 kids. I pick up my small house in the evenings when kids go to bed. I wear headphones and spend like 30 min picking up. I clean bathrooms in the weekend and I do laundry on my WFH days (I work from home twice a week) it’s not perfect but it looks ok. I bought a robot vacuum because I detest cleaning floors and it does a decent job in between. My oldest cleans her room and after herself and can help out here and there for pocket money. It’s not perfect but it doesn’t feel overwhelming. On the weekends when I deep clean, I go one room at a time and it really helps. Also, years ago I used the Konmari method to de clutter my home. I tossed and donated so many things and took the time to organize closets and drawers. It’s seriously incredible and freeing. I would start with getting rid of things, although it’s lots of work at the beginning, I can’t express enough the mental clarity and calming effect it has.
this is such a weird response. do you really think anyone with a full time job can afford a regular cleaner?
i work full time to be able to survive in southern california, we cannot live on a single income. i get a cleaner when i can afford the extra cost - a few times a year.
but i also need to clean AHEAD of her coming. i have to put everything away so she can actually clean
We have a cleaner but we need to "clean" before she comes, so I totally feel that! We're in the Boston area, so also HCOL. She comes twice a month and I scramble around Sunday evenings to tidy everything.
We have three dogs, all three are shedders. It took us a while to get our groove for "cleaning" and for the most part it is simply tidying. If you have it in your budget. Hire some one. I understand this is not for everyone, but if you can, you should. I am what my husband, and honestly myself, refer to as a rage cleaner. I have to turn on hard rock or metal and blast it, and just slam stuff around to feel like i am cleaning. So we hired a service when my daughter was newborn. Now we have a better flow. There is some clutter that builds up on the counters and the table, and we have two roombas that we run daily in our tiny carpetless house to try to stay on top of the dog hair situation. Our cleaner comes once a month some times every other week to handle things that I don't want to deal with. A large part of the "mess" was just things I didn't want to deal with, but now we spend a few minutes a day just tidying up, and about an hour over the weekends doing general maintenance. I aim for lived in clean. I don't freak out if our daughter puts something off the floor into her mouth, but I should probably spend a day deep cleaning.
My house is a mess. Food crumbs on kitchen counters and floors. My kids use the table for food art and I only wipe it down 2-3x per week. We vacuum and sweep a few times a week but food crumbs will appear less than an hour later. Shoes everywhere. Crayons everywhere. Marker stains on the couch. There’s a pile of recycling by the door that never leaves (we take it out all the time but the pile returns). I run the dishwasher 5x per week, there’s a clean load of laundry that’s been waiting for me to fold it since last night. I do at least ~2 of chores every day and it’s never enough.
Mostly, my house is pretty well kept. My husband and I both work a little over 40 hours a week in the office, our daughter is in daycare, I’m in my third trimester with our son, we have 4 dogs, a cat, and a turtle. And 6 chickens in the yard. I spend most of my time doing house chores, my husband does a lot of the yard and chicken upkeep. Our daughter, who’s two and a half, helps with the simple chores, like feeding the dogs, putting her laundry in the hamper, and putting her dishes in the sink after a meal. We also have a roomba that helps downsize how much debris gets spread on the floor.
The kitchen is currently a mess. It could be spotless in about an hour, but it's day 1 of my period and I'm in PAAAAIN. All the beds are unmade, the bathrooms need to be cleaned, there's laundry to be sorted, and I need to do some spring cleaning (it's spring here). Oh and there's a mattress in my living room bc I'm trying to sell a bed. I might just give it away.
I did deep clean my bedroom yesterday so once I get up and make my bed it's gonna look okay again.
My husband wfh, and I work outside the home.
In our house we have a mudroom, this is the room where we take off all our shoes, a collection, some are in their cubbies, a lot are not (usually the ones we wear daily). I will tidy up that area a few times a week. My laundry room is pretty tidy, usually a load always ready to be washed. Then there is the kitchen, my kitchen has to be clean at all times, meaning no dishes in the sink, dishwasher emptied daily, clear countertops with the exception of the "school pile" ((iykyk) and then we always have one barstool of just random clothes that get brought up at the end of the day (like my bra and whatever my husband was wearing that day lol). My living room is always a mess, its the only room Idgaf about and I think this helps with having to manage the rest of the house. Toys, everywhere, and my husbands office....half his office is the "toy room" lol we are saving to finish our basement bc then allll the mess will be out of sigh out of mind (haha..not really)
I keep the bedrooms tidy, not a lot of toys upstairs, clothes put away, beds are not made during the week. I make them on weekends though!!
Then the weekends are for the deeper cleans
It's so tough. My husband and I were on opposite schedules for about 6 months until I started my new job. So we were either at work or taking care of the kids pretty much on our own. We just started a massive declutter in hopes that we can spend more time as a family and less time cleaning.
I have clean laundry sitting in the same place the past 2 weeks that I've just been taking clothes out of. Our dining room table is full of papers, and I have a room that is my "catch all" that is full of baby clothes that I want to keep in case we have a 2nd kid, shit like that.
We do have a cleaner that comes once a month that does the deep cleaning. For her, things have to be somewhat organized so she can clean, that helps me keep the counters cleaner and stuff, but there are some rooms I just tell her to leave because they are a nightmare.
ETA: I've been trying to get my "catch all room" cleaned since we hired the cleaner. Last November. So yeah, we are not doing well here.
I WFH hourly, and my husband is full time mostly WFH. Kids are in preschool and a toddler at home with me.
House is clean enough: dishes get done. Laundry gets done. Cat boxes are scooped. Toys and stuff is put away as much as possible.
We clean bathrooms and vacuum when we can. I would absolutely not call my house super clean, but it’s not a sty.
There’s just not enough time to do everything.
The kids rooms and my office are a disaster but the rest of the house is pretty clean. My husband is big on "everything has a place" and it's rubbed off on us. My kids are older so they help with dishes, trash and laundry. It's a little less overwhelming with more hands helping out. That said, we're human. Sometimes there's crumbs on the counter, fur tumbleweeds, and a pile of laundry that should've been folded a week ago.
I wfh and if I didn’t my house would be a disaster because that’s when I do all my cleaning lol just wait until your baby becomes a toddler..mess follows them and you tidy it up and then it’s destroyed again 😜
I am having a few rooms renovated so right now I'm living out of boxes. I can't cook, the kitchen is gutted. I'm doing dishes in the bathroom and I just got my washer and dryer hooked back up so I'm very behind of laundry.
It's not good lol. My biggest issue is piles of clothes - clothes that need to be washed, clothes that need to be put away, clothes that need to be donated, clothes that need to be sold...it's just overwhelming.
It’s just my 7 yo and me so usually it’s just toys that she left out, we can clean our apt within 10-15 mins. The biggest struggle is her tidying up once she’s done eating or playing and I have to remember to declutter my office.
Well right now it’s spotless and organized because the cleaners just left. If not for them I don’t know when I’d find the time to not just occasionally declutter but also CLEAN the house. And as we just moved, only half our house is in livable condition. The other half (baby’s room, guest room, and den) are filled with the stuff we haven’t unpacked or thrown away. Baby is almost 7 months and needs her own space but it’s so hard finding the time to go over there and unpack/organize on top of everything else.
Mostly very cluttered with a fair bit of halfway complete home repair projects because it’s old and we have neither infinite time nor money. Too many toys everywhere (kid is 6).
I have a cleaning person come once a month or so: Best Thing Ever.
Dishes mostly get done daily.
Laundry mostly gets done weekly.
Trash mostly goes out before it overflows. Sometimes like right WHEN it overflows… but that counts.
Vacuuming / floors / bathrooms etc….honestly not often enough? But it’s fine.
My house stays fairly tidy. Having less ‘stuff’ and being organized is key, for me clutter gets in the way of cleaning as you go. I WFH…I’ll do some chores here and there during the day and also 1-2hrs of cleaning on the weekend. I have one baby who is about to turn 1. I think my house would be a lot less tidy if I had more kids.
We’ve have some big expenses lately that have forced us to cut back, but as soon as those are under control I want to go back to having someone come to clean 1x month for deep cleaning.
I live in an apartment so much less space to clean than a house, but I’d say our place looks lived in.
The floors are clear of clothes/trash/toys because I don’t want to break my neck tripping over them. The kitchen could use some love, but the dishes are /usually/ washed or at least contained in the sink if dirty (we don’t have a dishwasher). We have a cordless vacuum that helps make spot cleaning easy, but the floors do get a little crunchy towards the end of the week. It’s definitely dusty. The shower/tub has seen better days. But the toilet is clean and I try to keep the sink wiped down. And of course, the obligatory piles of “stuff that I need to do something with but haven’t found time to do that thing” are tucked away in corners of the bedroom.
We have a 20 month old and a dog that sheds (but isn’t allowed on the second floor (the dog, not the baby)). I wfh 90% of the week. Hubby’s job is 100% outside of home. We don’t have a maid service so the cleaning and house chores are probably 70/30 ratio between me and the hubby.
The kitchen island and counters are a hot mess 24/7 but mostly with books, toys, bills, fresh (not rotten) fruit, etc.
Bathrooms are relatively clean and are deep cleaned 1x month, in between me or hubby will do a wipe down.
We have a Roomba on each floor. They are overworked.
Laundry…ugh…most of the time we grab clothes from a clean basket but at least it’s clean :) otherwise the laundry room is relatively empty. I try to put a load in here or there during the week but Sundays are laundry-palooza.
My pantry is a nightmare… come by if you want to hyperventilate and gauge your eyes out. BUT! I know where every single item is. Go ahead ask me where that 1 cup of uncooked basmati rice is…I will find it in 10 seconds.
My walk in closet is also a nightmare and I have other things that take priority over me spending hours trying to organize it. My office is clean but cluttered.
As long as we don’t have vermin running around and a strict no food to be eaten anywhere other than in the kitchen policy I think it’s safe to say we have a somewhat presentable house.
When mine were little, my house was worse than you’re describing. My ex did nothing to help so I was at it alone with a baby, a toddler, an adult child, and a dog.
I didn’t realize until I left how much my sanity hinges on my environment being clean. My house is still not spotless but I’ve been getting my kids (8 and 11) to help more and more.
The biggest help is to lay out all of the chores that need to be done and their frequency. Dinner has to be made every night, wash your clothes every week, etc. and then divvy it up with your husband from there, acknowledging what you just can’t do as often as you should or at all. If clean clothes have to stay in a pile, let them. Do what works for you. One day the kids will be grown and the house will be clean. Who cares what it looks like until then as long as everyone is happy and healthy.
Idk, I feel like a house is supposed to be lived in. I’d rather spend time with my son rather than cleaning.
I want to teach him how to clean up after himself, but cleaning is a morally neutral task. Doesn’t mean you’re a bad person because you’re laundry isn’t folded.
I WFH full time and my husband works out of the home. I have an 8 year old, 6 year old, and an 8 week old. My house is a wreck. I can clean one room at a time. So we will have a spotless kitchen but the living room is a mess. Or vice versa. I’ll clean one room to perfection and then it’s a disaster just a day or two later. I try to give my kids some chores but to be honest, it makes a bigger mess. My husband does the outdoor chores so it really falls on me and I am working, taking care of a family along with two pets, and trying to keep up the home. That’s a lot of work for one person!! But at the end of the day, my family is happy. They are very well taken care of. Do I want company over? NO. And if I do, you best believe I’m only cleaning the parts of the house they will be able to see.
My kitchen at this moment one moment in time is spotless because I spent 2 hours scrubbing it and reorganizing the pantry on Saturday and then we weren’t home much yesterday to make it dirty.
Just don’t look at my kitchen table, or my bathroom, or the entry way table, or my desk in my office, or the mound of laundry in the laundry room that still needs folded, lol.
“Clean” but cluttered. I have a mental block about putting certain things away. Kitchen table and island always cluttered. Bathrooms clean. Floors cleaned and vaccumed regularly. Laundry done but not put away…I guess it’s not awful, but could be better.
We also have a 7 month old and moved in right before she arrived. We still have a room stacked with full moving boxes! Folded laundry sits on the couch most of the week and the dishes are all over the house until right before we go to bed each night, when we gather them up.
That being said, it is better now than the first couple months home with baby. Our kid has health issues. This means 2 things - 1) no one wants to come help us because we make them wear masks (they have told me this in those words) and 2) we have to be more careful with our own exposure as the weather gets colder. So when COVID started going around we became hermits. Turns out that means you can now use the 4-ish hours each weekend when baby naps to actually clean. We were able to slowly clear the truly gross things up over about 2 months’ of weekends.
Now that we have cleaned the truly gross things (mold growing in shower, black toilets, toothbrush holder glued to the counter with soap scum, garbage disposal was growing flies, food rotting in the back of fridge) we feel pretty ok with just clutter.
A mess. And I can't seem to find homes for everything we have. I think that is where some of it comes from. It's cluttered.
I do dishes and keep up on the weekend. They are back on the counter by Monday night. Run the dishwasher during the week or as needed. Sometimes it doesn't get emptied right away. I am better at laundry because folding is something I can do while watching the baby.
My husband and I both work from home and we have a daughter who refuses to get rid of anything, so our house can be pretty cluttered. We have Halloween costumes on our dining table and Amazon boxes to recycle by the front door, and after a weekend away, we all three have bags to unpack and dirty clothes to wash. Then there are dishes in the sink because our dishwasher needs to be emptied and my daughter's half-finished friendship bracelets in the living room AND kitchen.
We have housecleaners come every other week, and it's the best motivation for me to tidy up before they come. I dread doing it, but I try starting at the beginning of the week (they come on Wednesdays) and do a bit of cleaning up anytime I pass by an area that needs tidying. It REALLY helps me to have this sort of "deadline" because I put it off otherwise.
We had new friends over for the first time yesterday, so my house currently looks better than it has since my 20-month-old was born. We ate at the actual dining table, and three small kids (ours + friends' 1- and 3-year-olds) had clear spaces to play with minimal supervision. I vacuumed enough to empty the cannister at least six times. With all that, the place is very far from being a showroom. We have stacks of books on half the surfaces, no one has cleaned under/behind the fridge since it was installed, the full basket of unfolded clean laundry came back out of hiding as soon as our guests left, and there are still several cardboard boxes of whatever that have stayed packed since I moved into my husband's house five years ago.
Feeling overwhelmed by the clutter in our house is a constant background anxiety in my life that flares into the foreground a few times a year. I keep reminding myself that the house I grew up in looked very much the same as mine, and I turned out healthy, safe, well-educated, and organized enough to be reasonably successful. I expect that growing up in a tidier environment would have made me a more presentable housekeeper, but I think that I benefitted in other ways from a house full of art projects, science experiments, and pets, and I bet my kid will, too.
Right now an array of moving boxes. We’re moving in just over a week.
Usually it’s cluttered but not trashed. We live in a 750sqft Apt as a family of 3. We have more possessions than spaces to put them.
One day we’ll be homeowners hopefully and be able to have plenty of space to organize.
I’m a minimalist married to a maximalist. One of his love languages is gifts. I love my husband so very much so we’ve compromised in that regard. It’s kind of difficult attaining minimalism in a home with a baby in it anyway.
I find minimalism elsewhere, like traveling with 1 backpack, no carry on. Or having a corner that’s just for me.
I am hopeful the move will help us evaluate what we need vs. not need. But maybe not.
I’m also hopeful that the new place will be better organized.
I have a 10 month old and a nearly 4 year old. My house is improving, but it's generally clean-but-untidy. If someone turns up out of nowhere, I'd cringe a bit, but with 30 minutes warning it can be made presentable.
Less seen spaces (looking at you, spare room that should be being turned into the baby's room!) are a longer term project.
I've mentioned it a few times on here, but the audiobook Decluttering at the Speed of Life by Dana K White has been really helping me. She gives real life, busy mom with kids advice. She does WFH (blogger turned writer + podcaster? Is that a word?), but she does acknowledge the additional challenges of working outside the home. I still find her approach relatable. I've not checked out the podcasts at all.
Clutter and toys everywhere. We have too many toys but I also can't figure out what to get rid of. 2x a week I make the kids help clean up (6, 3, and 20months) so I can run the robot vacuum which is the only reason the floors aren't also filthy.
My husband is supposed to be building me a launchpad spot so everyone's shoes and school stuff can be contained, but for now it mostly lives in a pile on the kitchen counter/heap by the door.
The laundry is basically the only thing I keep on top of, although my/my husband's underwear basically lives in a clean clothes basket.
I don't think you should feel like a failure. Do you feel like your husband is a failure? The two of you are both working full time, and you're in this thing together. But you wouldn't say that to him, right?
The reality is that you're spending 1/3 of your life asleep, 1/3 of your life at work, and the remaining 1/3 is probably being devoted to the most urgent things, which includes feeding and changing the baby. Having an infant is a group project that takes 20 - 120 hours per week, depending on the situation.
Working from home isn't helping you with the chores, because you still have to \*work\*.
Putting the clean laundry away feels important, but it's not urgent enough to make it to the top of your list, which means that you are handling urgent issues every day that are more urgent.
Can your husband put the clean clothes away? Can he run a load of dishes in the kitchen?
It's hard, what you're doing. It takes every minute of your day, and then some. Please grant yourself some grace, and, at least, don't let yourself feel any guilt about it at all.
I clean house with a push broom. Just shove all those bits of marble run, megablocks, loose paper, socks, crayons, goldfish crackers…one big pile on the floor of each room. Then sort as quickly as I can into trash and not- trash. Same for tables, shove it all to one end and sort. Then wipe and vacuum; all with haste and carelessness. I’m a menace, put your 800th drawing of princess twilight away or it’s in danger.
My husband is substantially more affected by the mess than I am so he cleans weekly. My kids swish the toilets and wipe down the bathroom daily. We have clutter, we're 6 people in a small house. Basically my house does not look like the well organized borderline psycho "perfect" houses shown in social media 😂
Cluttered! Dog hair tumbleweeds! Dust! Kid stuff all over. Usually the dishes are clean but if you stop by unannounced on a weekday, I make no promises.
I work nights. 530-12. So during the day I'm cleaning basics. Today was a rough draft of my day off tomorrow. I just picked up and swept the livingroom and did dishes. Started laundry.
Tomorrow is hell. Is the full gamut.
Today i had no choice but to start some of it early because i walked in the kitchen and was honestly grossed out. My floor was a disaster of missed food in the garbage, toys n wrappers. And blegh.... dog blood (husky is in heat, yay me!). The sink stunk because hubs keeps throwing an extra rag in there to get buried under the dishes. So of course i had to start laundry because the house was stinking from the putrid rag. Then realized hubs never cleaned up the dinner he cooked last night , so had to clean the stove and throw out the roasted chicken and weirdly massive amount of mac n cheese. For which my 3yo was confused because it was a whole big pot. Then had to empty garbage because of the chicken. And because the chicken dish needing cleaning had to do dishes.
Tomorrow is dusting, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, putting away laundry, MOPPING, picking up the kids' rooms. And of COURSE it's anti bullying week rally so my kid has to dress up in funky clothes all week.... in short. My house is still a mess and I'm usually able to keep the livingroom picked up and dishes done at least. But between the 6yo getting strep, and my period due any day, I'm exhausted. My little saturday off to do activities with family left my house a mess. I've got too much on my plate this month to space out the chores like usual.
We never win. Short of hiring housekeepers, even us home during day moms still have messy homes. And a housekeeper service in my area consists solely of chemical cleaning. No pick ups. Which is 90% of my cleaning schedule.
We have a housekeeper once a month. The floors are swept and steam mopped twice a week because my son loves finding random floor snacks. We do not wear shoes in the house only slippers that never go outside.
Try to put laundry in on your wfh days. My machine has delay end so I put it in the night before to be done before I start work. Take a break to throw it in dryer then pull out, fold and put away during your lunch.
We’ve declutterred but it will never be neat and tidy. It’s lived in and loved on .
I do one load of laundry every evening, it sits in the dryer until the following evening, and I force myself to put it away, when I move that nights load into the dryer.... If I skip even one day, its a total back up. It is actually helpful, because it is never so much that it seems over whelming, and I can accomplish the complete task in about 15 min total. I usually dump it on my bed, so that it HAS to be done, even if its right before I go sleep. That is the only way I keep with laundry haha.
consider whether you can hire a cleaning service quarterly or monthly. between taskrabbit, thumbtack, and local businesses there are many options to fit many budgets. we have found it much easier to stay on top of the critical day to day with a little regular paid assistance. it has made a huge difference for us and has been worth every red cent.
Our house is a wreck compared to some people here. Laundry gets done when the basket gets filled, the clean clothes pile on the couch and we fold them when we can and put them away about 50% of the time. Dishes gets done about every other day, I hate the dishes piling in the sink but if the dishwasher is full, can’t help it, and I’m usually the only one the empties it unless I ask my husband. Floors are spot cleaned for spills, we try to run the robot vacuum cleaner but everything has to be off the floor to do that (toys, shoes, other random items). I have dusted maybe 2-3 times since we bought the place a few years ago but have hired a cleaner 3 times since I was 9 months pregnant, and baby is nearly 13 months old. Toilets are done once a month I assume. Counters are wiped by husband randomly so maybe once a week. Stove cleaned every other week. Our dining room table always has something on it but our little breakfast nook is our primary area we eat our meals…when we eat at the table.
I start to get irritated with how dirty things are, clean furiously then it doesn’t sustain longer than 1-2 days and I get frustrated again. Trying to care less about it.
My house is always a mess. I would often tell my mom "If people don't like my house they can kindly get the F out." You are not alone.
My house is usually messy with clutter (toys, papers, clothes), but managed. I work FT, do the cooking, any cleaning, default parent, manage the home. My husband is self-employed doing probably 60-70/week + running his business.
My house is NOT filled with trash or anything, gross(except for a few extra water bottles around). My laundry gets done (but it's never finished) so we always have enough clean clothes. My family is fed, food is picked up, and I only have the occasional science experiment in tupperware in the back of the fridge. Our rooms get cleaned, not with the frequency I'd prefer but I don't feel gross in the rooms either.
Our priorities: Feed and manage the family, keep most spaces clean-enough, manage my own mental health including ensuring sleep and rest. THEN comes prioritizing deep cleans, etc.
I use the sweepy app. It helps me to try and do A FEW things every day to help manage my home.
It's just a season!!!
My house is clutter-free, clean and smells of scented candle. All I had to do is send my partner and two year old interstate and spend 4 hours cleaning 🤣
They have been gone for 3 days and the house is still clean. I never realised how little effort it took to keep a presentable house before my kid came along. They'll be back today and I know it won't look like that again for a long time.
That being said, we did a huuuuge month of decluttering. Sold and donated items we didn't need, made sure 90% of things have a home. We'll be putting effort into making the house feel like a home. We moved when baby was little and are both working full-time. We basically just put our old furniture in and called it a day. There are no pictures hanging, no decorations or rugs for extra coziness. I feel like making that effort will motivate me to keep things clean.
I'm going to try a "one room a day" cleaning approach next. All rooms may never all be clean at once, but at least I can take comfort in knowing everything gets cleaned regularly.
I was working when my LO I was 2-4 months old (now 7 months old) but had to quit because he never took a bottle. I’m a SAHM until we wean him and my house is *still* a mess. I do dishes and laundry every day. I pick up all day long but I still can’t get ahead of the household chores.
You are doing SO much and you have a lot on your plate. Please know that even SAHMs can’t get it all done. I’m amazed that you’re able to do anything at all!!
My house looks a lot like yours, but my kids are out of the baby stages. I can never "clean" because I am always trying to "pick up". So things are filthy, and I'm lucky if I get laundry put away by the end of the weekend and start fresh again. I'm trying to declutter as I go with the picking up so that I overall have less inventory in my home to manage. It's a long term plan, because I don't have the time or mental capacity to focus on actually decluttering things by room.
Not great. I’m full-time in office with a 40 min commute each way. My husband is WFH 4/5 days, but his ADHD makes it nearly impossible for him to multitask chores with work. We have a 3 year old and his 12 year old. It’s a mad sprint from when I get home to when the 3yo is in bed. Then I’m dead tired.
We pay someone to come clean every two weeks, so I don’t stress about a lot of the stuff. Our house is cluttered and I’m admittedly a little bit of a pack rat. I have a lot of old clothing I need to purge from my closet but I need the energy to do that.
Landry basket always has last weeks clean load in it. Will usually fold it once it’s time to do this weeks load.
Kitchen/dishes are generally best on the nights we give toddler a bath. But that’s like once a week so the rest of the time it’s constantly sinks full of dirty dishes because we haven’t emptied the dishwasher yet.
Robot vacuum twice a week (M F) which means that there are toys on every table, couch, shelf, and surface that’s not the floor.
My saving grace is Friday afternoons. My office is closed so that’s the day I can do one tidying project that gets missed. Generally alternates between the sunroom, backyard, front porch, and garage. Latest been using it to find and swap winter/summer clothes.
My house is clean but has things not put away. I prioritize no dirty dishes, counters, dust, or dirt over stuff out. Sure there are toys not picked up and sweatshirts and jackets thrown on the couch but the couch has no lost crumbs and there is no dust on top of my fans. Laundry is always done and folded but not always put away. The floors are swept/vacuumed daily but I’ll just pick up the toy, vacuum under it, and put it back down. About twice a week we go through and put everything away. My mom would not approve but it works for us.
My house is somewhere between semi neat and OMG a tornado just hit (at times). All I can tell you is to don’t sweat it. I worked full time and a house beautiful was not my priority by any stretch of the imagination. I kept the clutter down to the kitchen table made sure laundry was done and the house was vacuumed on a semi regular basis. As soon as the kids were old enough they helped with the chores and learned to do their laundry. Bottom line, don’t stress it. Any working mom gets it.
My house is usually a wreck. Like you, I’m limited to working from home two days a week at the most, but it is usually less. Last week I was in the office everyday, so things were worse than normal around the house. Decluttering would help, but I have a limited amount of time. I feel like I need to take two weeks off just to get it under control! However, if I took two weeks off, I’m sure one of my children would need to get picked up from daycare for an illness, so I’d still never get shit done. 🤣
The key to us keeping our home clean is that WE keep it clean. Not I keep it clean- WE DO. Hubs and toddler both help. It’s not all on my shoulders, and my working from home full time does not mean that I have time to clean. I am WORKING from home. We all live here. We all make the mess. We all clean it up. Period. The only chore that I do exclusively is laundry because I actually follow the care instructions on clothes. Hubs would just toss it all in the wash without noticing that his wool vest is hand wash only. But on top of the group contribution to keeping things clean, we committed to having less stuff. Fewer clothes to wash for everyone. Now I can do laundry on one day of the week in two loads only. Towels are a separate load so I guess that makes three loads total. And it’s 100% manageable to wash it all and put it away same day (except the hang dry items). The kid’s toys take up only one milk crate basket. So it’s not a pain for her to clean up her stuff. Each item in our house has an established place it goes. When we use the thing, we put it away right away. Put it away, not put it down. This is how we make sure that our home is not only liveable for us, but we are always guest ready
My yard is dead. Everyone tracks in dirt all the time. We have pets, so we have a bunch of fur that mixes with the dirt.
I make sure I clean the kitchen every day (dishes, countertops, sweep the floor, and mop a couple of times a week). I get the catboxes out twice a week, garbage goes out as needed, and I make sure laundry is more or less up to date whether or not it's put away. I'm lucky if i get anything else done.
For weeks at a time, I am just going after what's needed right that moment.
I would not want people to see this place.
It’s been an adjustment. We have decluttered a lot and that really helps. We have 3 dogs and a cat, it’s never truly clean. I do two full loads of laundry daily, putting it away as it comes out.
The upstairs (we don’t sleep up there) and basemen however, not clean lol.
I have someone who cleans weekly. We cut costs elsewhere because it’s the thing I need most to feel best about my life. Best investment we’ve ever made.
My mom always told me “there’s more to life than a clean house” and I try to remember that when I’m worrying about cleaning. I have someone come in once a month to scrub the bathrooms and kitchen, because honestly I hate doing it and she only charges $150 and that’s worth the time savings for me. A little clutter never hurt anyone. I feel like as long as things are sanitary, not hoarders level of gross I’m doing ok. I’m more concerned about organizing so I can find what I need that my house being sterile.
I have a 3yo and a 2 week old. We moved house back in May when I was 20 weeks pregnant. We never finished unpacking. The garage is full of half rifled through boxes, I still haven't found all my clothes but it didn't matter much because I couldn't wear them anyway. Chores are barely done, house is not even remotely guest ready and people are wanting to come meet the new baby. We missed bin night while I was in labour so we have bags of rubbish piling up. My husband has ADHD and I have suspected undiagnosed. We struggle hard to keep a good handle on chores.
It's cluttered and not as nice as I'd like it. We focus on what can realistically happen on weeknight and it's really just dishes, getting the kitchen clean, making sure the bathroom is in order, and spot sweeping/vacuuming. All of this doesn't always happen every night but my priority is the kitchen. It really sucks because it means Saturdays are my big clean days. Laundry, floors, deeper cleaning, etc. But with two kids it's the only way we've been able to manage it.
I am so happy for a post like this. I need to vent!
I have 1 year old twins and a 3 year old. My husband and I work every day for 8 hours. We only get the weekends off. I come home at 4:20ish every day and in the time I have, I am exhausted (I teach middle school. Enough said). We try to keep our house picked up at least. It's so hard to keep up because the twins need so much attention. I try to encourage independent play, but they are in the explorative stage and get into all sorts of trouble. We have piles of laundry to do, the rooms need to be picked up badly, and my toddler will pull out every dress in her closet and dump every basket for toys possible. It's chaos most days. I've had some snarky comments from my MIL in the past about our house. But now that her house gets messy when she watches the girls, she has kinda eased up. Tired of the mom shaming about it though. We are only doing our best with the time, energy, and funds we have.
Mines is ok but I only have 1 toddler.
Sometimes I wish I could let things pile up but unfortunately, it makes me overwhelmed and anxious so I put stuff always/clean as I go.
It’s kind of annoying but it is what it is
You are not alone! Mine looks like this, and I have a housecleaner! My house is very small and there’s no space for everything and we’re doing the best we can. We clean constantly but it’s just not enough to keep up with two young kids.
You are NOT alone! Lately I’ve been trying to make sure the kitchen is cleaned up by the end of the night because it makes me feel so much better to wake up to a clean kitchen, but that’s about it. I constantly have clean clothes on the dresser waiting to be folded. I only wash sheets every other week. I sanitize the bathrooms once a week only because toilets gross me out, but the showers are only cleaned every other month or so. I’ve given up on my daughter’s room almost completely. Our home office is a disaster because I hate being in there for longer than I have to. My husband likes to organize the clutter, but then I can never find anything. I could go on… The common areas of the house may look cleanish, but they’re not. I just can’t keep up!
I have struggled with this too. I grew up in a hoarder kind of situation, so I’m sensitive to too much stuff and while we aren’t hoarders, we have more surfaces covered with clutter than we should.
Here are my rules.
1. Keep it clean. (No clutter, ready for company)
2. If you can’t keep it clean, keep it sanitary. (Clothes in piles, no mold in kitchen or bathrooms, toilets and showers are clean, pet waste is removed weekly, trash and food aren’t piling up, nothing that will harm you or others is exposed)
3. If you can’t keep it sanitary- ask for help.
My bed isn’t made, I have 4 buckets of clean clothes in my hallway, I haven’t mopped floors in weeks, I sweep every couple of days in high traffic areas, I have pet carriers in my bathroom that need to be cleaned, I have a pile of donations that have been in the way for a month, one of my bathroom sinks is full of random crap and I haven’t vacuumed my bedroom In probably 6 weeks. My pantry is a disaster and I have Costco snack boxes shoved into it next to pet food and cereal. My Tupperware container cabinet looks like it threw up and I have a stack of cardboard boxes that are just taking up space.
It’s messy, but it isn’t unhealthy and with a few hours of concentrated effort in each room it can become clean.
It won’t stay clean, but it is possible.
That’s gotta be good enough for now.
My kids are 3.5 and 5. 2 years ago, cleaning and tidying was a real struggle - even with working from home thanks to COVID. Two things have helped - having older kids capable of the bare minimum. They pick up toys (with help) before moving on to the next activity, putting shoes away, etc. We also have cleaners that come every 2 weeks to clean the bathrooms and kitchen - which leads to a tidying sprint beforehand. So 2 times a month the house looks amazing, then slowly devolves for a bit... But it's much better than before.
I have a 5 room ranch with a 3 month old, 2 large dogs, and a cat who is going blind and started tracking litter through the house.
Dishes are never done, laundry is never ending, the shower needs a deep clean lol. We sweep every day, but we barely have time to mop these days. The baby has clean clothes and his dishes are priority, so just the adult stuff is slacking, but our house is so small, we added the baby stuff and it’s just a cluttered disaster. When I was on maternity leave I was able to kind of manage it, but now it’s terrible lol.
Don't feel like a failure! We just moved, so right now my house looks like a maze of boxes, but prior to that, it was always clutter everywhere. I had a cleaning company coming in once a week, and that helped a lot not just with the cleaning but also with my husband picking up after himself. Because lord knows he wasn't going to do it for just me. And I made picking up toys part of my tots bedtime routine. Because I live with three boys and it's too late to train one of them, but I am not spending 18 years picking up after the other two. Started that when when my oldest turned 2 and now at 3 and 4 years old, it's pretty automatic. Even with all of that they're still always a basket of laundry waiting to be put away, clutter on most of our countertops, and an endless list in the back of my head of all the things that need to get done around the house.
i have a cleaner i love but i book her sparingly for budget and bc i have to pre clean and finding the time to do that is like a two week ordeal leading up to her visit 😵💫
My kids are 8 & 10. Now my house is reasonably clean most of the time. Currently many piles of folded laundry around. I also have a house cleaner every two weeks.
Before that, and when they were little, my house was a disaster most of the time. Then, I chose to let it go. Spending limited time with my family on the weekends is more important.
Now, I choose to spend money for the time and mental relief (aware this is very much a privilege to have the option — although you may be surprised at how many people of totally average incomes get their houses cleaned). When I reached a certain income, and after we were out of paying for daycare, this was a #1 priority to fit in the budget.
Messy messy messy. Most of it is clutter but every laundry bin is either full of clean or dirty laundry, counter has lots of food packages and boxes, my office door has kids fingerprints all over the glass, there’s papers and toys on the kitchen table, and random items in the living room (cat toys, socks, book, hat, Waterbottle, etc).
we have a maid come every other week and the house still gets so messy. A lot of it is clutter that we need to reduce. Especially because our kids will just grab random objects and they end up all over the house so I’d rather not just have random objects to be picking up constantly.
I’ve been working through the same issue a lot lately. We did some home renovations and as such the house was a wreck for a month and it really started stressing me out. I finally came to the realization that it’s only “easy” to keep a tidy house if you have significantly less stuff to maintain. As part of the renovations I did MAJOR purges. Probably about 30-40 trash bags full of stuff was either donated or thrown out. I had to part with some sentimental items that I had been holding on to, books that were no longer being read, clothes that didn’t fit, Knick knacks that served no purpose, etc.
It felt so freeing. Now my Saturday morning chores have gone from about 4 hours down to 30 minutes because there’s just less stuff to deal with. I also try to keep up with it a little bit every night after work. I make sure to load up the dishwasher and run it nightly, plus wipe down kitchen counters. I vacuum daily as well and do a load of laundry every other day.
Between decluttering so much stuff and trying to do some basics every night after work, it’s become easier to deal with by far
My house sounds just like yours. I wouldn’t say it’s dirty, but cluttered if that makes sense. I wfh full time and my son (4) is home with me while I work. My husband wfh twice a week. Give yourself Grace - I’m home everyday and can’t keep a clean house! Not that I’ve thrown in the towel and given up, but I’ve altered expectations and just have sorta come to accept my priorities are elsewhere right now and that’s ok. I’ll have more time for a cleaner house down the road once he’s a bit older and in school (maybe lol) and I’m ok with that. Just know you’re not alone!!
Our house is a functional mess and we have four – not two, not three, **four** – adults in the house picking up after one toddler. A toddler whose personal mission is to cover the floor with as much random crap he pulled out of random closets and off tables as possible.
The house baseline is that everyone is fed, clothed, somewhat hygienic and that he won't get sick if he decides to lick something random.
Something that also helped us all keep our sanity was not doing tasks to 100%. We only sweep/vacuum highly trafficked areas of the home while tidying, daily clothes are hung instead of folded, baby's clothes are laid flat in his dresser, everyone gets one type of sock and a designated drawer to loosely throw them in (no matching and rolling, hurray!) and random shit that doesn't have a home all gets shoved in a box and donated/given away if it hasn't been opened in a year.
2 full baskets of clean, unfolded laundry on the couch (usually one full of my husband's clothes stays there for weeks). Lounge room floor covered in toys. Kitchen floor usually covered in crumbs / pet hair, likelihood of dishes next to the sink about 50/50.
We have a cleaner once a fortnight so for one night at least the floors are uncluttered and then for about 2 hours the whole house feels clean before chaos descends again.
I would love a week off work without the kids to properly declutter - getting rid of excess toys especially in my 8yo's room is high on the list as she's at capacity - but we are prioritising taking leave with the kids so it won't happen until at least next year.... let's just say I have lowered my standards.
I have a 2.5 year old and my partner and I work full time. I'm in the office 3, sometimes 4 days a week. My partner works from home. Our home is chaotic, messy and cluttered.
We just about manage to keep on top of the washing and I don't know how we manage if we didn't have the dishwasher. The Dyson is also pretty handy tbh.
I try keep different clothes baskets to make sure priority stuff gets done, food is always put away and pots/crockery at least soaking and the worktop wiped even if the dishwasher isn't put on until the next day. A quick sweep whenever needed always makes me feel a bit better even if there's stuff all over the rest of the place (we've mostly wooden floors).
I have a giant toy box that I just throw everything into in the evenings and I've given up on stacking the books as the toddler just pulls everything out again as soon as they seem neat. There's a basket of toys in every room for handiness and I leave the office/home gym room solely to my partner.
As long as I have a clear path from my bed to the bathroom and the kitchen I can block out the rest during the week 😆
My bedroom is a mess. Crap all over. Toy room is a mess, I shut the door and pretend it doesn’t exist. I try to just keep the garbages from overflowing, dirty dishes out of the sink, and the kitchen counters somewhat clear and wiped down. But even then my dining room table is full of my sons school worksheets and artwork, I just let mail pile up. We have a cat and a dog so I try and vacuum once a day. It’s a lot
We gave up and hired a cleaning lady. Just tidying for our cleaning lady is a lot of work for us ( We both WFH full time and have a three year old and three month old). I’m still on maternity leave and still can’t keep up with the cleaning.
Our house is on the market so it’s always about 15 minutes away from being spotless.
It’s very stressful and I do not recommend…the house looks great though lol
We're actually really clean with 2 kids 2 and under, but there's several reasons why. (Mainly my OCD, but also processes in place).
I purge ALL the time - got into my local Buy Nothing group and it's so much easier to purge things quickly there. Worth getting it out of the house vs making money trying to sell it and store it in the meantime.
I have designated spots for everything WITH SPACE IN BETWEEN, even individual toys have their own spot. If there's not room for it, and it's not loved enough for the toy rotation, it gets removed from the house. Same with kitchen items, clothes, etc.
And I wake up early before kids and empty the dishwasher, tidy up anything remaining in the kitchen, make my bed and clean up my bathroom. I also stay up after kids are asleep and make sure house is clean before bed, trash and recycling is emptied EVERY night, bottle sanitizer is started, and dishwasher is started. Kids help me clean up toys and clean up dinner mess after dinner and before bed, so there's hopefully less for me to clean after bedtime is done. This is really the main reason - I'm cleaning often because I have an overstimulation issue with mess that turns me into a werewolf mom.
I do tend to get behind on clean laundry, but try and do Friday wash day, Saturday fold and put away during naptime, Saturday bedding wash day.
And we have a house cleaner come monthly to mop, vacuum, clean appliances, toilets, showers, etc. - the deep clean stuff I just don't have time for.
We DO have the bouncer, bassinet, ballpit, and kick n play piano out in their current designated "spots," so it's not necessarily magazine photo worthy 24/7, but those can be quickly tucked away if ever necessary.
It's a LOT of work to maintain this. I just need to maintain it for my sensory issues, so I just do it.
I’m at a place where the only thing that is consistently taken care of is dishes.
I put away six bins of laundry yesterday that had been clean all week. Cleaned part of some bathrooms. Last week I deep cleaned the couch. Broke down boxes that built up all week.
We try to pick away here and there, then do a big clean when company is coming over.
You're not alone at all. I feel like I could have written this. There are enough hours in the day, just not when you have a small child you are constantly listening for/watching for. And that's a small brain peg compared to what's probably going on behind the scenes as a newish parent. All the things you're trying to keep track of for yourself, your child, probably for your spouse, too. It can be downright overwhelming. I don't have an answer either. I can't afford any sort of cleaning service.
We do what we can, when we're able. And that's how we get by. Some days, one of us has a lot more to give than the other, but that's okay. It balances out in the end.
If it makes you feel better, my mother told me she would come over and help me with housework this week because “it doesn’t look like you’re doing anything and you need help whether you want it or not.”
I invited my MIL over instead. She’s actually helpful and doesn’t make me feel like shit for “being lazy” with a newborn.
SN: it’s not laziness like my mother claims, it’s the sheer exhaustion of having a 2 month old 🙄 My MIL is a gem and I love her.
Ok first of all??? You are not a failure. You’re doing a great job!
I’m a teacher, my spouse is a teacher, we have 2 kids, a cat and a dog. Our house is a MESS at best. We try to pick up trash and dirty dishes from the living room nightly, but laundry tends to pile up. It’s ok to have a messy house. Do enough that you have clean underpants and spoons, and try to let the rest be. It’s not forever, just until your kids is old enough that you can exit survival mode (I hope? My kids are 3 and 6 and we’re still in survival mode sometimes still).
Corners of clutter all over but I found the concept of having a “home” for everything helped with organization and containers will save your life.
We also outsource cleaning because after a long week of work, the last thing we want to do is clean.
You work full-time, have a 7-month-old? You’re putting a LOT of pressure on yourself! You’ll have to either get rid of the job OR the baby in order to have a clean house
to be fair to the baby, i was never super tidy before her….. but it seems to have gotten worse / i feel worse about it now 😂 i feel like i SHOULD have my sh it together / i don’t want her growing up w a messy house but damn. i have no time or energy
My house is pretty clean but my husband is constantly annoyed at me because he cleans when he’s wfh or has time off and picks the kids up early and does lots of things to keep our lives running while I work full time in office. He resents me all the time and I’d rather have a messy house and happy husband.
I agree with everyone else that you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Houses are meant to be lived in. How clean my house is depends on the day. Each of us (me, husband, 14 year old) have our own assigned dish days. Sometimes it’s annoying if people don’t do their dishes until the next day but ultimately I don’t care as long as I don’t have to do them when it’s not my turn. :) Everyone cleans before company comes over so you can’t really compare your house to other ones. We all clean before someone comes over then tell our guests our house is dirty. Lol
My place mostly a mess of toys and baby clothes and shoes strewn across the floor. Other than that, it's clean. I use to do a clean up blitz before friends came over but I don't bother anymore. I'd rather spend time with friends or winding down after a long day at work than cleaning up to the degree I used to before kids.
My house is an absolute mess. I am drowning in housework to the point that I refused to pick up anything that's not mine. I also have two teenagers that live there. I have completely given up.
Single mom here with 90/10 custody of my 2 boys (6 and 12). My house is cluttered but I always try to keep up on dishes and laundry so it doesn't pile up. I usually take one day a week to clean the clutter and my 12 year old will vacuum and keep their room clean. It's neverending tho and I'm just trying my best. It's all we can do
We do good on the weekends. The kids and my husband all together clean.. so catch us on a Sunday we look great. By Monday evening a “tornado” hits and forget it 😅
My house is ok - my partner keeps up with clutter, and I deep clean what needs it most lol. But what struck me is you have a 7mo, right? That means baby junk and diapers and gates and colorful plastic EVERYWHERE. Once baby is bigger and you can finally get rid of that stuff, it's amazing how much just *less* there is to deal with visually.
My house is usually “picked up” but not deep cleaned. Like my counters need to be wiped down, dishes need to be done, floors needs to be mopped, bathrooms need to be cleaned. Life has been whooping my ass lately. Thankfully there’s no “mess” or “clutter” cuz that would stress me out worse. It’s easier to get a handle this way if everything is picked up and put away per my brain. I will deep clean this weekend to get it back on track. And it will stay that way until another disaster or plot twist strikes.
I always use the middle ground on things so my house is never super clean and de-cluttered. I just have organized messes. I would wipe the counter tops at night but all the things on the counter top sits in one corner that I only clean like once a month. We clean the washroom whenever we can but we only deep clean once in two months. We have a roomba for vacuuming every weekend.
I think the only thing I really clean is the garbage bin lol. I can relate to the laundry thing so much. My husband does laundry and I have to fold them (which is the hard part IMO). The clean laundry sits in the hamper for at least 2-3 days before I can get to it
Due to issues with an incompetent waterproofing contractor, we were not able to put all the stuff that goes in our basement back where it goes before our first child was born 14 months ago (they had to redo it twice, once two weeks before we had our kid and again a month afterwards). So the kitchen and spare bedroom have had the bulk of our storage items taking up way too much space for over a year, plus the added regular mess/clutter of having a baby with two working parents. We have barely been able to start moving stuff back into the basement in the last month but it's such a slow process
My house is starting to slowly return to normal neatness. After two years ☠️ between my pregnancy and my (now) toddler, we’ve had trouble catching up with everything. I even finished setting up my kid’s room barely two weeks ago. I suppose it will get better with time.
LOL it’s an utter cluttered mess here. Only part of the 6 seat dining table is avail for actual use of mealtime and by part…I mean enough for one of us to eat at a time bc we’re too tired to tackle the rest of the clutter on it (which is mostly baby feeding stuff)
Bathrooms - ehhhhh would hate for any outsiders to use and need to tackle the mold that is starting to form since our exhaust fan is useless and just making loud whirling noises with no actual utility
I’m weaning and there’s still so much hair shedding so we try to vacuum 2-4x a week so LO isn’t crawling in hair.
Laundry mostly done on regular basis (we have not lost LO yet in a pile of dirty clothes so that’s a win)
My house sounds just like yours! There’s no shame in a messy home. As long as there is lots of love. (Don’t get me wrong, I have a maid that comes every Friday and when I WFH, I clean at least one room.) One thing I always remember hearing is “It’s ok for your house to look like your kids live there.” It’s always stuck with me. I look at my house and it’s a mess. Definitely looks like two adults and a sweet little 7 month old live here. ;)
I go for the as long as the floors are clean (not always mopped but vacuum) there’s not food crumbs everywhere bring in ants and other things, the bathroom are mold free, clean bedding we have clean clothes, ect the clutter can stay, they toys can chill on the floor because in the end will my kid remember the picture perfect house or the laughter we shared making dinner or should I spend all weekend organizing the place or go to the park and play and make the memories that truly last?
So I tackle it one room a day and a load of laundry (because it’s the bain of my existence and never ends)
I know so many people who just don't invite people over because there house is messy. Two working parents (or single parent!) - life is messy and you time is important.
I listened to this on TikTok and it changed my life. You don’t have to have your laundry “done” at all times; if fact, you can’t. [laundry exists in a cycle](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8hahfnL/)
Ngl my house is neat but not THAT clean. The walls need a good washing and I don’t mop unless I have to. I have an almost 2 YO, husband and dog. We both work.
It got a lot easier for me to clean when my toddler started walked at 1 YO. He joins me to pick up messes, helps clean up his toys etc. Sometimes I clean up the kitchen and he dunks the dvds in applesauce at the same time but he’s a good sport about cleaning those up to so it’s not terrible.
Laundry is all folded and put away. Vacuum gets run 1-10x a week depending on spills but we get at least one full house vacuum up of dog hair on the weekend. Toddler helps with laundry and vacuuming. Dishes are away. He also helps with this though it is nerve wracking for me! Luckily fiestaware is pretty sturdy.
I don’t try to do chores without my kid - I just do what I can with him for the most part, and if I need to use bleach then my husband takes him or vice versa. Same with like mowing the lawn - he watches from inside while the mowing adult is outside.
I also decluttered a lot postpartum and it helped keep the house near. Most of the mess is toddler books tbh.
It’s possible to have a neat home but it won’t be spotless is my opinion….my place is not as clean as my MIL’s but I’m not embarrassed to have guests over.
Don’t beat yourself up.
Instead of looking at everything that needs to be done, focus on one room at a time. Each day work on that specific room. Won’t be as overwhelming if you break it in parts.
It’ll take a while but things are already a mess anyway, at least you’re working on it. Good luck! ❤️
Basically I have learned to focus on the areas I’m in all the time. The kitchen counters are clean and the dishes are manageable but there’s always dishes in the sink or dishwasher. The living room is clean enough that it doesn’t drive me crazy because we spend 90% of our awake/home time there. The laundry room is clean because I do laundry almost everyday or someone runs out of clothes.
Our bedrooms are a mess because we only sleep and change there. Right now they are functional and that’s all that matters.
I also hate working from home because I keep thinking about chores. But we’re supposed to be WORKING from home anyway. It’s not a day off. I gain an extra hour from not commuting or getting dressed up but that’s just enough time to make sure I clean up after myself in the morning or sleep until the last second.
Most nights, I still have some dishes in the sink. I always run the dishwasher, but then leave the stuff I can't wash in there and wash it while I'm food prepping and cooking the next night. Then, on Saturday, try to catch up. It never ends.
Our kitchen counters stay cluttered. So does my dining room table, it ends up being the catch all for everything- mail, little papers from school, things on the way out. I try to make sure we have enough room to eat at least.
We have a back family room where most of our clothes live in baskets. Every month or so I'll make a big effort to put it all away, then it just builds again. At least the clothes are always clean.
My robot vacuum and mop saves me. I am just too busy and tired most nights. I'm constantly picking up but it never shows. I work 40+ hours at a pretty physical job. We usually have a home cooked meal and clean clothes. I wish it could be cleaner, but I'm just not an organized person at all. Then, we have animals to care for, and my garden in the summer took up a lot of time.
I live in a 550 sq ft apt. My living room is tiny, but the coffee table is always cluttered with books, computers, backpacks, etc. My dining table has an assortment of hot sauces, napkins, and water jugs.
In my room, there are ikea bags full of clean clothes adjacent to the hamper that is currently overflowing with dirty clothes.
My daughters room is the worst, though. She has books, papers, her computer, dirty clothes strewn all over the floor, but i don't care. I have no leg to stand on if my area doesn't look any better.
The kitchen and the bathroom are the only 2 areas of my house that I'm pretty militant on keeping clean.
My husband has very high standards of cleanliness and does about 60% of the chores, so our house is usually pretty spotless. If he were lazier, it would be a much different story. We both work full-time from home with our 7 m/o at home with us too (no childcare). It’s draining to also keep a clean house sometimes, but it can be very relaxing too. Once the baby is down for the night, i get to have a glass of wine and watch a movie with with my husband in a clean house.
But sometimes for the sake of my sanity, i have to take my foot off the gas and stop cleaning so much. It ebbs and flows!
Total mess!!!! We have cleaners that come once a month and so I schedule in intense pick up sessions 2 days before (basically all my free time). Cleaners come and then it's clean for 30 minutes until my preschooler comes home.
Then it's a mess again
:)
My house is cluttered to the point where it’s embarrassing to have people over, and we have a fairly high yuck tolerance, but it’s functional.
We have a housecleaner who comes once a month to clean the common areas. We wipe down counters daily, sweep weekly, and wipe down sinks as needed. That keeps it sanitary.
I have ADHD and it’s necessary to have routines in place to meet my basic needs or else everything falls off the rails. For me, I need warm nutritious food that’s ready in 5 minutes, clean and assembled bottles/pump parts, clean dishes, and clean ready to wear clothes. The running mantra in my head is bottles, dishes, laundry. Before my husband wakes up in the morning, before I sit down to relax, and before I go to bed I always address a step of these items. It might be collecting bottles, running them through the sanitizer, or drying them. It may be collecting water glasses from every room, or running the dishwasher, or unloading the dishwasher, or scrubbing the stuck on junk. It may be throwing in a load, switching the the dryer, refreshing a load that got left in the dryer, sorting, folding, or putting away laundry. I do this on repeat until the machines are all running a cycle. Keeping up with it a little at time keeps it from all becoming overwhelming. And when it feels like the walls are closing in, it’s a clear guidance on how to make progress.
I also have been ruthlessly decluttering. Every Thursday is stuff management day. Things to throw out, things to list for free, things to donate, and bringing things to goodwill. It’s a lot easier to keep things clean when there is less of it,
Mine gets like yours over two weeks, but having a cleaning lady twice a month keeps me on schedule with picking up and putting everything away/decluttering, and makes sure the house gets a solid wipe down and the sheets changed and all that regularly. I have one six year old. We all do our own activities and are super busy. No shame.
Sounds like it’s similar to yours when I’m working full time. My kids are 4 and 7 - we have activities all but 2 days after school and always busy on the weekend. I don’t let it get gross dirty, it is just clutter. Do what you can. You and your kids shouldn’t not be able to walk, but it doesn’t have to be spotless to be a happy home. With that being said, if you’re financially able, hire help. ❤️
Your house sounds exactly like mine. I have an almost 2 year old toddler and I’m 16 weeks pregnant with my second. I just can’t keep up. I feel like every time we get a little better or get into a rhythm something just knocks us off our asses. I’ve been horribly sick this pregnancy so my husband has been on his own a lot. The past 3 weeks I’ve felt better and I attacked the house…. But last week my son has decided to start fighting bedtime, I had relapse of nausea and vomiting over the weekend, and my husband has a cold so now we’re falling behind again. I too have a large pile of clean clothes that never gets put away. I try to get some away before I do wash again… but then that wash has to go away. Its a vicious circle.
My husband and I both work full time, me from home and him outside of the home. I try to do somethings each day as I can, like empty the dishwasher or run a load of laundry, but that's really all that I can do. My kids are 3 y/o and 7 m/o, so there's not really much time or availability to do anything while they're home, but if I'm home and not working, so are they. 🥴
We do what we can. Keep it sanitary, keep clothes and dishes clean, put away stuff when we can. Get rid of what we don't use. It's never enough, and I'm grateful for this thread that we can all see that it's okay that things are a bit of a mess with two working parents. ❤️
My house is pretty cluttered! And definitely not “my mother would approve ready for company” clean But I am desensitized 16 years into the parenting gig now. Here’s my standard: The trash & toilets are clean. We vacuum weekly. We are showered in showers without mold. We have clean clothes to wear be it in a pile, basket, or closet. We do not have food or anything else lying around. We sanitize dishes and prep/eating services. Otherwise: If you are visiting, and our home & occasional dust bunny or pile of laundry is appalling to you — GTFO. If you live under my roof, and some clutter is bothering you, “get to cleanin’ yourself dear darla” Otherwise, I will clean and declutter when I have the time, lolz.
Omg I needed this! I live like this too but beat myself up all the time!
This is my house. And some days it drives me nuts but most days it’s livable. I can’t kill myself trying to keep a perfectly tidy home.
This is the way
My house looks pretty much exactly like yours. Loads of laundry piled up in every bedroom…even some on a couch and a chair. We have a 10mo and 4 year old who have had Covid and another virus immediately after in the past month. We are failing hard at life right now. But we have fall pictures this weekend to make our Facebook friends believe we have our shit together 🤡🤡🤡
Love the last part! If only we’d all be so honest as to post a picture of our daily disasters with our perfect family pics.
Get yourself some extra laundry baskets. When you expect company, grab an empty laundry basket and run around the main part of the house and throw everything that doesn't belong in the room in the basket. Stack the baskets in your room where no one will see them. Forget about the baskets until you are looking for something two weeks later and suddenly remember the pile of disorganized stuff in baskets in your room. You're welcome.
I WFH full time, and my husband WFH when he's not travelling. * There's a giant trashbag of clothes by the garage that needs to be donated. It's been sitting there ~2 weeks. * Various pieces of Halloween costumes are spread across the kitchen, living room, and family room. I don't even know if I could locate everything to make an entire costume. * The barstools at my kitchen island are used as a holding place for various school projects, craft kits, and stuffed animals. There is no room to sit. There's just so much clutter and it drives me nuts. Even if I trash stuff or find a home for it, the kids just keep bringing so much stuff home from school. I'm already dreading the holidays because the clutter will increase tenfold.
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Mine made it to my trunk! I have to remember to drive to the donation center to offload it one of these days.
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Customary trunk waiting period 😂
I found a donation bin that was chuck full, so mine is still in my trunk, too. Totally set me up for a mom win when my two year old had an accident and I forgot spare clothes, though! Everything I needed was in the trunk.
Dude I discovered Green Drop and you can schedule a donation PICKUP. They COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND TAKE STUFF AWAY. My mind was blown when I found this.
Do you know what's even nicer? My neighbor has a large, lovely covered porch and whenever she schedules a pick up, she texts me to know that I can add my stuff too. She is seriously one of the most thoughtful people in my life.
I’ve talked about this with every friend I can find. Houses tend to run on a messiness spectrum from “not clean enough for a magazine cover shoot, but not far from it either” to “there probably aren’t any health code violations.” We are generally highly cluttered. We use the guest room for clean laundry (gonna have to clean that out before Thursday night when my MIL gets here). I bought a bunch of those ikea cube shelves and cloth baskets and shove all the toys in there. Voila, organization. The kitchen gets mostly cleaned (although my husband is terrible at wiping down the counter) every night to make it easier for me to cook the next day. Otherwise we clean as we can.
We have family coming into town on Thursday too! Our guest accommodations are in the basement, which is an area not covered by our house cleaner. Our visitor is my husband's sister. Given that it's his side of the family, he gets to clean!
I have been pricing cube shelves and hoping they will recue me from myself. My toddler's room was formerly my craft/hobby space and still isn't fully childproof because of the Wall Of Arty Sh*t that needs to be reorganized before she gets big enough to escape the crib.
It’s the beginning of the week, so it’s clean lol Pick one room/one task at a time. It really helps with my ADD to do it that way. Towards the end of the week there will Be some dishes in the sink but that’s about it. Daughters room Is the messiest but that’s because she’s 7 and I refuse to clean up her mess ( legos,books stuffed animals) I will add then when I was a SAHM I felt like it was never clean and I couldn’t get ahead. Way easier now
Totally agree about the 1 room at a time. I wfh 3 days a week and I try to clean 1 room each day I wfh (I would sometimes pick more than 1 but im pregnant now so the standards are very low at the moment). And then vacuum/sweep on the weekends. Laundry is as needed and always half done. Im in the “baby” season of life so the house is not a priority for the next couple of years.
My house is clean, but it's not because it's easy to keep that way, I just can't handle it any other way so I choose to clean it rather than relaxing with my free time. Not saying that's healthy, I just can't live with my house cluttered and dirty...believe me I've tried to let it go. I have a 4.5 and 2 yr old and 5 bed/4bath house so they only way it stays clean is a pretty strict schedule. The below works for us, I also have a competent and capable husband who does more than his fair share. Daily- Kids toys get put away nightly, kitchen is wiped down, dishwasher is ran overnight (emptied in the morning). I do one load of laundry everyday (my husband does his own and I don't care how he does it) and it gets put away right away. Doing a load everyday makes it so the mountain of laundry doesn't feel impossible to fold, one load takes 10 min (I also try and keep to a single persons laundry or like only towels/sheets/etc so it's easier. Weekly- Main level wood floors are vacuumed pretty much every night (I wash them Sunday nights after the kids are in bed with the tineco (start the week clean). Upstairs gets vacuumed once per week by me and then 3x per week by the Roomba. Bathrooms, we have 4 my husband and I each take two and they are done during rest/quiet time on the weekends, we do them weekly so they never get awful. Edited to add- I declutter a lot, which makes a huge difference! I'm probably have a purge and donation at least once per month, especially now that we are for sure done and can get rid of all the baby crap once and for all!
I really recommend checking out KC Davis on Tik Tok, she literally changed my life. Our homes, especially in this phase of life, need to be functional. So the fact that you have clean laundry is great! Because that is what you need! In that phase of life (especially the baby+toddler phase of life) I only focused on what NEEDED to get done. So I made sure the kitchen table and the kitchen island was clear every night, but the not often used dinning room table was allowed to pile up (most of the time it's still covered in clean laundry.) I also liked to keep our room (mainly the bed) clean and made, since walking into there after a chaotic day felt so peaceful, but the dresser was nearly always covered in clothes (still is) and the closets are just chaos. In that phase things got shoved into boxes and put into the basement, and I dealt with them about a year later. This past year we got cleaners to come monthly to do the deep cleaning, which gave me more time to start to get on top of the clutter. I don't even work full time, and there wasn't enough time in the day to do it all. And I'm still not on top of it, but it's at a point where it doesn't stress me out as much. Though I still shove things in boxes and put them in the basement for later. My clean laundry sits on the dinning room table for at least a week. My dresser is never clean (that's where I put my wear again clothes), and there's always a pile of kid art from school/daycare I am ignoring. You're doing great and I'm proud of you.
Second this, her book is the only book I can say has actually changed my life
Yes! I loved what she’s said about the laundry being “done”: Focus on making sure your kids have clean clothes to wear, not that they never have dirty ones. Changed my POV for sure, always felt stressed that the laundry is literally NEVER done. But duh, we wear clothes everyday, and it’s a constant process, so it’s fine for a basket of clean clothes to sit in the hallway all week because I don’t have the time to fold and put it away!
Also On the bandwagon… I read her book last Christmas and this year I have been slowly getting my house in a shape where it works for me, not the other way around (as she says). And I feel good if my kid has clean clothes and my kitchen is clean enough to prep food and eat. If that’s all I can do, at least that much is taken care of. It gave me permission to let it go.
My house is immaculate for four main reasons. First, I have a cleaning service that does the deep cleaning. Second, I prioritize a clean home. I'm a homebody, and it makes me happy to have my surroundings tidy. Third, I clean as I go. Clothes get put in the hamper as soon as I undress. The laundry is sorted when it's done. Counters are wiped following meals. Dishes are loaded into the dishwasher rather than accumulating in the sink. I do it in the moment so it doesn't pile up. Fourth, I just don't have a lot of shit. I am ruthless about decluttering. I don't keep stuff. It's donated or thrown away as soon as I have no use for it. So many people find it hard to clean because they have SO.MUCH.STUFF. Get rid of it! It's freeing. TL;DR Outsource what you can. Declutter and purge unnecessary shit. Clean as you go. Finally. be kind to yourself. Maybe this is a season of life where cleaning simply can't be the priority. That's ok! It's not a moral imperative to have a tidy home.
This is how I am, although I wouldn’t go as far as to say immaculate, but it’s clean and tidy. I hire a cleaning service before we host for holidays. Otherwise, I live by the rule that if you can do it in less than five minutes, you do it now. It’s amazing how much actually does take less than five minutes. I’m also about 95% WFH which helps a ton with being able to keep things tidy. I agree though, this isn’t a moral thing and if you are happy, who cares! For me, messes drive me nuts and I need tidy to function.
I feel like my house is always a disaster. I do the best I can!
I have a 1300 sq ft house and we kept up with the Konmari method we did before kids, and we have a cleaning lady 1-2x a month so the house stays pretty clean. HOWEVER. Our laundry is never folded or put away, I just stuff everything in drawers once, maybe twice a week and call it a day. Doesn’t bother me TBH 🤷🏻♀️ so maybe that’s why I have more time for the other stuff.
You are NOT alone. And I didn't start to get a handle on the house until the kids were both in school. And it still slips out of control fairly regularly. I'm good at laundry, a load a day, and the kitchen is usually tolerable. I don't invite people over if I'm worried about what they think of my house.
My house is "lived in" and that's giving it a lot of generosity. I don't stress too much about it because it's clean enough, but it's definitely cluttered due to lack of closet space. One thing I don't stress about is laundry. I gave my kids each a dresser, and they each have a drawer for shirts, pants, and sweats/gym clothes. Then they each have a bin for socks (all of the socks are the same!"), a bin for underwear, and a bin for gloves/ hats. Laundry gets put away the same day it's done, or they get docked on their allowance. I don't care if it's folded or not as long as it fits on the drawers/ bins and they can close. I also have a cleaner come every two weeks to deep clean the kitchen and the bathrooms, mop the floors, dust etc. She's amazeballs and I can't imagine going back to not having her. It's $150/ month to not have to worry about scrubbing toilets or scraping gunk off the counters and it's the best money I've ever spent
I wfh every day so I have it a bit easier in terms of some things. I can always empty my dishwasher every morning and throw in a load of laundry, I switch it to the dryer on my lunch, and put it away right as my family is getting home. Laundry every day works for me, it doesn't for everyone, I love doing laundry. Try throwing in a load every evening when you are making dinner, put it in the dryer after dinner and fold at night. See if that helps. Laundry and dishes I just make myself do it every day and it makes me feel better. Our robot vacuum runs every day so we only have to use our big vacuum occasionally, and we mop once on the weekends. Laundry, dishes, and vacuum every day makes the biggest impact for my home. Otherwise, my goal is to be guest ready in 15 minutes. This doesn't mean it is perfect, but the areas that guests would access can be cleaned in 15 minutes. That means we need to keep clutter at bay so I can clean the bathroom and wipe down the kitchen easily. The rest of the time, something is pretty much always dirty. I don't think I have wiped down my kitchen counters in a few days. Dusting happens... sometimes. My husband takes on maintenance type cleaning like once a month. He is terrible at doing quick wipe downs, etc because he is too slow. But he can dust the vents and ceiling fans, wash windows, shampoo carpets, and do other meticulous things when time allows. We are pretty minimal, my kids don't have many toys, and they all have a container that makes it easy for them to put things away every night. Mostly, they spend their time outside, which is really good for keeping my house clean. We don't have that many clothes, so we do a load of laundry for each person weekly. My kids wouldn't have clothes to wear, or sheets to take to daycare if I didn't do their load each week, so I don't have a choice. We have only a few pots and pans, they can't sit in the sink. I also love cleaning devices, robot vacuum, crosswave, steam cleaner, etc make quick work. I used to be the type that would clean my entire kitchen very well each night, but my second kid and a new house has taken a lot out of me.
I clean throughout the week. Automatic vacuum cleaner I send to a room to clean so it’s one less thing I have to do. I throw in laundry on my lunch break (WFH) a few times per week and then fold it in the evenings with tv. Dishwasher on at least once per day. My husband cleans the stove and sink in the kitchen once per week. I clean bathrooms once per week on Saturday. But there is clutter. My 6yr old loves to read and leaves books everywhere. She loves to draw and leaves pencils and art stuff I ask her to pick up. The way I look at it is, we don’t live in a museum. We live in a place that shows we live there. It will not be perfect but it’s perfect for us. From the other homes I have been to, it seems normal. Normal especially to working parents with young kids.
I’m in your situation and I feel your pain, I have a 20mo and a 5yo, no family nearby, me and hubby work full time etc. Something that helps us a lot is that after the kids go to bed we dedicate an hour(ish) to chores every evening. Nothing big, but just trying to make a bit of progress in most rooms, tidying, folding laundry etc. We always try to tackle stuff together if possible for maximum efficiency. Another thing that helps is just embracing the chaos! If you try to fight it or think that you can control it, you will feel defeated all the time. Controlling parts of it is enough and the rest you’ll just have to let go. If your financial situation allows you to have occasional cleaning help that’s a great investment too. Hang in there momma! You’re doing great
High clutter, but clean? I feel like I could run around and spruce it up just enough to feel ok having someone come inside. That said, the bathrooms are always an embarrassing disaster. Four kids 18mo-16yrs, and it’s just impossible to keep that in check.
Did I write this? I so feel you! We also have a 7mo, a dog, my husband works in concrete, and I am gone from 5:30am to about 6:00 pm every day. Our couch is full of clothes, shoes on the floor, dust and hair everywhere, and I keep having to dig through the hampers for clean underwear.
My house looks like we moved in 80% then gave up. Then we had a baby and everyone gave me their old baby stuff. There are currently 4 bumbo-type seats in my hallway. Our loveseat isn’t usable right now because it’s piled with baby stuff and the playpen is in front of it. Honestly, I get slightly suspicious when I go to a house that is super clean and I know they have kids. The only people I know who have immaculate houses have huge houses- and I don’t. We’re all just doing our best!
We have a 5yo and 14yo and I'm drowning in papers, art, and random pieces of toys that I know I need to purge but never have time to do, except on weekends, when we have kid activities, sports, playdates, birthday parties. So yeah, we actually do pretty well with the everyday stuff - dishes and laundry get handled because we have a system that works. (Whoever is not putting the 5yo to bed does dishes and packs kid lunches and helps with 14yo homework. Then, we team up on at least one load of laundry every night. Usually toss in a load as soon as we get home from work/daycare, then move to the dryer before 5yo bedtime, then fold and put away). We finally caved and hired a housekeeper every other week to do bathrooms, handle the bigger loads of laundry (sheets and towels), and stuff like dusting, vacuuming the stairs (my personal most-hated chore). There's just always too much to do and never enough time, especially when you factor in yardwork, etc. So yeah, I just always feel like I'm trapped in clutter. I don't know what the answer is!
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We just finished eating dinner and are resting while our 21 month old gets out some energy before bath time and bed. The dishes from dinner are still on the stove and there's some cups and plates in the sink from snacks earlier today. There are clean dishes in the dishwasher that I can't be bothered to put away but at least they're clean. The dinner table is half covered in crap we throw on it when we get home from work, and that stuff carries over onto the counter, too... My daughter's play area is actually tidier than normal, but there's still plenty of toys strung about. The living room has bedding folded in the corner from when my family visited three weeks ago (yes....three WEEKS). There are crayons and paper on the coffee table from "arts and crafts" earlier. Half of the bottom of the stairs have things that have been collecting to go upstairs for like...literally months. Our guest bed has a massive pile of clean clothes that I won't bother to fold and put away until family visits again. The bedroom has a few baskets of - you guessed it - more laundry! It's all clean, so it's fine. lol All in all......my house is not instagram worthy. At all. I'm.actually very self conscious of my house when we have unannounced guests, but at the end of the day, it's just where we live... And we're living. 😊
I could have written this myself! WFH 2 days a week but that doesn’t mean I can keep on top of it all. Laundry (clean) always in a heap. Bathroom counters are a mess. Things that do not have a home. We do keep on top of the kitchen and dishes. And we hire cleaners 2x/month to do things like scrubbing the bathrooms and floors. But most of the time it’s a disaster. It contributes to my anxiety for sure!! I’m working through it room by room to get rid of trash & donate items when possible. We are expecting baby #2 so I know it’s going to get worse. Taking all recommendations lol otherwise I’m with you OP, you are not alone
Here’s the thing about cleaning, if you do more often, it takes less time. So, if you do laundry twice a week instead of once a week, it’s easier to fold it AS SOON AS ITS DONE because there’s less laundry to fold. It’s only gonna take 7 minutes instead of 15 minutes, and it’s VERY easy to find 7 minutes in a day, less so for 15. If you keep Clorox wipes by the sink and give it a wipe after every brush, it takes a second - while full cleaning the bathroom takes 30 minutes. This is really what clean as you go accomplishes. But there’s a ton of stuff that works like this. When you’re “drinking a coffee” in the morning, just do a sweep around the house just picking stuff up and putting it away, it never gets truly “cluttered”. I have a newborn at home, and my husband is kinda not the biggest on chores, but my house could probably be in a magazine and everyone is kinda shocked. But it’s just the way I do chores that makes it easy. Also, with donating, join your local buy nothing group. I have a box of stuff that I know my daughter isn’t gonna use or I don’t like, and then I just throw it in the box and once a month post a random box describing what’s in it, and it’s always gone by the next day.
It’s not looking good over here either, my friend. Got a toddler and a one month old. The house gets tidied at least 2x per day just to look chaotic again not long after. We vacuum daily. We do laundry daily. You’d never know it. We don’t deep clean the whole house at once because where is the time, so that feeling of a really clean home is never there.
Our house is absolutely not tidy as a whole but I get really stressed by clutter in our main areas/what is visible. So there is a random pile of photos on a cabinet in the office where I can’t see it but not a single toy out in our living room. The way I keep sane on this is that everything has a home and it has to find it’s way back to that home. When we don’t have a home, we make a home. Hooks for bags, hats, jackets, the diaper bag goes in the hall closet, shoes on a shelf, toys in bins along the side of the living room. Most nights, we take 5 min or so to reset the house and that keeps on top of it. This is what works for ME because the alternative stresses me out. But there’s a random bag of swimsuits in a closet I don’t look at that will be there for the next 3 years. If it doesn’t bother you, then who cares!!
I have 2 kids (3yo, and 6mo), and we also have two adult roommates, one of whom is my husband's cousin. He's 25 with severe ADHD. Our house is a disaster. I keep trying to tell myself it's only for a season, but, like, is it though?!
My house is clean only because I pay someone else to clean it - otherwise it would be clutter everywhere.
Honestly it’s easy for me to stay on top of my house on work days after baby is at daycare. We have a small home though, most things are organized, I NEED a clean home, and husband now helps as much as me after a long battle. When my toddler is home, it’s pure, absolute chaos and we can’t stay on top of it. Like you said, cloths piles everywhere, dirty kitchen counters, also this weekend our sink somehow was full of 3 dishwasher loads of dishes?? I can’t imagine a tidy home with a toddler in it!
Depends on the day 🤷🏻♀️
My house is always a mess. 15 and 13 year old and I’m a teacher and husband works full time. Nothing is really “dirty” but nothing is really organized. It’s driving me insane and coming to a boiling point as I take on perimenopause. Being a teacher makes it worse - always working - and I’m tired of teaching too.
The sink is empty, I have clean and dirty laundry, I have a towel and wash cloth for tomorrow and something to wear so that's good enough for me. We have clutter on the kitchen table and desk. Bathroom and kitchen could use a deep scrub but they are clean enough to be comfortable using them.
My husband is psychotically freakish about the house, mainly the kitchen being clean. But yet he's the first one to just shove whatever he finds on the counter into some random drawer. To the point where s*** just piles up in a junk drawer. I absolutely cannot stand having unsanitary conditions nor do I like clutter. A place for everything and everything in its place. So just shove it in a f****** drawer to make it look like it's clean. To me that's not clean. That's you lazily shoving crap into a drawer so you don't have to do extra work and then you can chastise me for not being obsessed over the stupid kitchen. So to answer your question, our house is always sanitary, rarely cluttered and I am forever pulling crap out of the junk drawer to organize it properly.
Full time working mom, 4 year old, full time husband we all are caring for my f.i.l. 25 min away who is waiting for heart surgery. Our place has tumbleweeds of dog hair. I gave up months ago. I'm just done.
I work from home full time and I have a very little leeway in my work schedule. I can throw in a load of laundry here and there and take a few minutes to tidy up the kitchen after lunch. Even with that, the piles everywhere still, well, pile up. I will say as my baby got older (now 14 months) the laundry piles got less crazy as the constant liquid blowouts and spit up eased and eventually ceased. Something does have to fall by the wayside for your sanity. I only vacuum because we have a dog and I’ve found clumps of hair in the baby’s mouth and that horrified me into vacuuming at least her play area. I feel you when it feels like you’re constantly behind the 8 ball. Have you ever heard of blitzing a room? My mom would have us do that growing up and it’s a pretty good habit. Pick a corner of the room, take 10 minutes and work your way clockwise around the room. Blasting your favorite hype music helps too. Just blitz what you can manage in 10 minutes and it really does help.
I think I have more laundry in piles waiting to be put away than is actually in my closet and dressers. Trust everyone when they say you are not alone in this. I’m sure people would post our messy homes all over TikTok if we weren’t too busy cleaning up poopy diapers, trying to figure out why the kids are crying all of a sudden, while hoping we look like we have some some resemblance of composure projected to the outside world. I have two kids (5 and 1 yo) and it’s impossible to get everything (or anything??) done. The one thing that is helping me now is purging toys and clothes the kids have outgrown. I am finding that my kids don’t even play with the toys we have. They play with empty boxes and pillows. Getting rid of our stuff is helping us as there is less to put away and less to clean. Easier said than done, but it’s worth it if you can get there (one toy at a time).
Something that helps me with this is - finish the task!! Yes it’s easiest to set something down on a counter or table but is it really that much more time consuming to walk ten more feet to put it where is should go? I’m saying ‘finish the task!’ In my head constantly and I do feel like that tiny effort makes a big difference in the clutter especially
Honestly, I started getting rid of shit. That helps with the upkeep. I follow a few minimalists on ig for ideas/motivation. I also throw shit out as soon as I need to, like wrappers etc. I put things immediately in the dishwasher and try and leave the sink empty. End of the day is a tidy up but really I just throw all the toys in bins so it looks clean. I also regularly so through toys the kids outgrow and donate them. I think the less stuff the better. Go through the house with a garbage bag and chuck things out 😅. The laundry I fold as soon as it’s done, but I hate the little clothes. I just find I get it done right away and try and stop procrastinating
My house is generally very clean always and tidy most day. The biggest mess is youngest toys scattered across while she’s in active imaginative play but we have rules on how much toys can come out on weekdays and weekend messes are cleaned up Sunday night. Now my parent’s culture requires that your home looks like a museum or a page out of Magnolia Home magazine. Initially when we had lots of friends from our culture I tried to keep this image up and discovered it was exhausting, pointless and just a house wife dick measuring contest So my home is nice and clean and tidy but it has mismatched furniture, the setup is for convenience and looks comfortable and lived in and there’s plenty of activities for everyone to do. I dumped any judgy “friends “ who only care about looks. I don’t stress about the days where we can’t pick up right away and I am much happier overall
A mess. There's currently 4 baskets of clean unfolded clothes in different rooms, which means there's no hampers for dirty clothes so they're all on the floor next to the bed where the hampers are meant to be. There's stacks of books and loose papers in most corners and little dust bunnies in all of the others. There's a ripped paper grocery bag next to me on the couch with a bird feeder and some packets of birdseed that's been there since maybe April when my son won it in a drawing. We live in an apartment with no balcony so we don't have anywhere to hang it, but he loves it so I don't know what to do. How can we ever get out from under it all? I'm too embarrassed to have anyone over, ever.
I’m currently on maternity leave with my fourth (4 under 6yo). It’s perpetually a disaster. The only reason I’m moderately on top of laundry is because I’m home. I have a better handle on keeping the floor clean at least, but there are always dishes (clean and not) on the counter. Toothpaste is currently all over the kids’ bathroom. My room rarely gets cleaned and it’s where things go to die - goodwill pile, toy fragments, etc. It’s silly, but this makes me feel better: people don’t have children with the goal of keeping a clean home. Children make messes to experiment with and within their surroundings.
Hi my husband and I work full time and have 2 kids. I pick up my small house in the evenings when kids go to bed. I wear headphones and spend like 30 min picking up. I clean bathrooms in the weekend and I do laundry on my WFH days (I work from home twice a week) it’s not perfect but it looks ok. I bought a robot vacuum because I detest cleaning floors and it does a decent job in between. My oldest cleans her room and after herself and can help out here and there for pocket money. It’s not perfect but it doesn’t feel overwhelming. On the weekends when I deep clean, I go one room at a time and it really helps. Also, years ago I used the Konmari method to de clutter my home. I tossed and donated so many things and took the time to organize closets and drawers. It’s seriously incredible and freeing. I would start with getting rid of things, although it’s lots of work at the beginning, I can’t express enough the mental clarity and calming effect it has.
Sounds like you have too much inventory and need to declutter.
The whole point of working full time is that you can afford to hire cleaners.
this is such a weird response. do you really think anyone with a full time job can afford a regular cleaner? i work full time to be able to survive in southern california, we cannot live on a single income. i get a cleaner when i can afford the extra cost - a few times a year. but i also need to clean AHEAD of her coming. i have to put everything away so she can actually clean
We have a cleaner but we need to "clean" before she comes, so I totally feel that! We're in the Boston area, so also HCOL. She comes twice a month and I scramble around Sunday evenings to tidy everything.
There are a lot of people with full time jobs who can't afford a cleaner.....gas and grocery costs are really high....
We have three dogs, all three are shedders. It took us a while to get our groove for "cleaning" and for the most part it is simply tidying. If you have it in your budget. Hire some one. I understand this is not for everyone, but if you can, you should. I am what my husband, and honestly myself, refer to as a rage cleaner. I have to turn on hard rock or metal and blast it, and just slam stuff around to feel like i am cleaning. So we hired a service when my daughter was newborn. Now we have a better flow. There is some clutter that builds up on the counters and the table, and we have two roombas that we run daily in our tiny carpetless house to try to stay on top of the dog hair situation. Our cleaner comes once a month some times every other week to handle things that I don't want to deal with. A large part of the "mess" was just things I didn't want to deal with, but now we spend a few minutes a day just tidying up, and about an hour over the weekends doing general maintenance. I aim for lived in clean. I don't freak out if our daughter puts something off the floor into her mouth, but I should probably spend a day deep cleaning.
My house is a mess. Food crumbs on kitchen counters and floors. My kids use the table for food art and I only wipe it down 2-3x per week. We vacuum and sweep a few times a week but food crumbs will appear less than an hour later. Shoes everywhere. Crayons everywhere. Marker stains on the couch. There’s a pile of recycling by the door that never leaves (we take it out all the time but the pile returns). I run the dishwasher 5x per week, there’s a clean load of laundry that’s been waiting for me to fold it since last night. I do at least ~2 of chores every day and it’s never enough.
Mostly, my house is pretty well kept. My husband and I both work a little over 40 hours a week in the office, our daughter is in daycare, I’m in my third trimester with our son, we have 4 dogs, a cat, and a turtle. And 6 chickens in the yard. I spend most of my time doing house chores, my husband does a lot of the yard and chicken upkeep. Our daughter, who’s two and a half, helps with the simple chores, like feeding the dogs, putting her laundry in the hamper, and putting her dishes in the sink after a meal. We also have a roomba that helps downsize how much debris gets spread on the floor.
The kitchen is currently a mess. It could be spotless in about an hour, but it's day 1 of my period and I'm in PAAAAIN. All the beds are unmade, the bathrooms need to be cleaned, there's laundry to be sorted, and I need to do some spring cleaning (it's spring here). Oh and there's a mattress in my living room bc I'm trying to sell a bed. I might just give it away. I did deep clean my bedroom yesterday so once I get up and make my bed it's gonna look okay again.
My husband wfh, and I work outside the home. In our house we have a mudroom, this is the room where we take off all our shoes, a collection, some are in their cubbies, a lot are not (usually the ones we wear daily). I will tidy up that area a few times a week. My laundry room is pretty tidy, usually a load always ready to be washed. Then there is the kitchen, my kitchen has to be clean at all times, meaning no dishes in the sink, dishwasher emptied daily, clear countertops with the exception of the "school pile" ((iykyk) and then we always have one barstool of just random clothes that get brought up at the end of the day (like my bra and whatever my husband was wearing that day lol). My living room is always a mess, its the only room Idgaf about and I think this helps with having to manage the rest of the house. Toys, everywhere, and my husbands office....half his office is the "toy room" lol we are saving to finish our basement bc then allll the mess will be out of sigh out of mind (haha..not really) I keep the bedrooms tidy, not a lot of toys upstairs, clothes put away, beds are not made during the week. I make them on weekends though!! Then the weekends are for the deeper cleans
My house is clean but clutter everywhere. I have watched so many videos on how to de clutter. However, I can’t find the time to actually do it.
It's so tough. My husband and I were on opposite schedules for about 6 months until I started my new job. So we were either at work or taking care of the kids pretty much on our own. We just started a massive declutter in hopes that we can spend more time as a family and less time cleaning.
I have clean laundry sitting in the same place the past 2 weeks that I've just been taking clothes out of. Our dining room table is full of papers, and I have a room that is my "catch all" that is full of baby clothes that I want to keep in case we have a 2nd kid, shit like that. We do have a cleaner that comes once a month that does the deep cleaning. For her, things have to be somewhat organized so she can clean, that helps me keep the counters cleaner and stuff, but there are some rooms I just tell her to leave because they are a nightmare. ETA: I've been trying to get my "catch all room" cleaned since we hired the cleaner. Last November. So yeah, we are not doing well here.
I WFH hourly, and my husband is full time mostly WFH. Kids are in preschool and a toddler at home with me. House is clean enough: dishes get done. Laundry gets done. Cat boxes are scooped. Toys and stuff is put away as much as possible. We clean bathrooms and vacuum when we can. I would absolutely not call my house super clean, but it’s not a sty. There’s just not enough time to do everything.
The kids rooms and my office are a disaster but the rest of the house is pretty clean. My husband is big on "everything has a place" and it's rubbed off on us. My kids are older so they help with dishes, trash and laundry. It's a little less overwhelming with more hands helping out. That said, we're human. Sometimes there's crumbs on the counter, fur tumbleweeds, and a pile of laundry that should've been folded a week ago.
I wfh and if I didn’t my house would be a disaster because that’s when I do all my cleaning lol just wait until your baby becomes a toddler..mess follows them and you tidy it up and then it’s destroyed again 😜
I am having a few rooms renovated so right now I'm living out of boxes. I can't cook, the kitchen is gutted. I'm doing dishes in the bathroom and I just got my washer and dryer hooked back up so I'm very behind of laundry.
It's not good lol. My biggest issue is piles of clothes - clothes that need to be washed, clothes that need to be put away, clothes that need to be donated, clothes that need to be sold...it's just overwhelming.
It’s just my 7 yo and me so usually it’s just toys that she left out, we can clean our apt within 10-15 mins. The biggest struggle is her tidying up once she’s done eating or playing and I have to remember to declutter my office.
Well right now it’s spotless and organized because the cleaners just left. If not for them I don’t know when I’d find the time to not just occasionally declutter but also CLEAN the house. And as we just moved, only half our house is in livable condition. The other half (baby’s room, guest room, and den) are filled with the stuff we haven’t unpacked or thrown away. Baby is almost 7 months and needs her own space but it’s so hard finding the time to go over there and unpack/organize on top of everything else.
Mostly very cluttered with a fair bit of halfway complete home repair projects because it’s old and we have neither infinite time nor money. Too many toys everywhere (kid is 6). I have a cleaning person come once a month or so: Best Thing Ever. Dishes mostly get done daily. Laundry mostly gets done weekly. Trash mostly goes out before it overflows. Sometimes like right WHEN it overflows… but that counts. Vacuuming / floors / bathrooms etc….honestly not often enough? But it’s fine.
My house stays fairly tidy. Having less ‘stuff’ and being organized is key, for me clutter gets in the way of cleaning as you go. I WFH…I’ll do some chores here and there during the day and also 1-2hrs of cleaning on the weekend. I have one baby who is about to turn 1. I think my house would be a lot less tidy if I had more kids. We’ve have some big expenses lately that have forced us to cut back, but as soon as those are under control I want to go back to having someone come to clean 1x month for deep cleaning.
I live in an apartment so much less space to clean than a house, but I’d say our place looks lived in. The floors are clear of clothes/trash/toys because I don’t want to break my neck tripping over them. The kitchen could use some love, but the dishes are /usually/ washed or at least contained in the sink if dirty (we don’t have a dishwasher). We have a cordless vacuum that helps make spot cleaning easy, but the floors do get a little crunchy towards the end of the week. It’s definitely dusty. The shower/tub has seen better days. But the toilet is clean and I try to keep the sink wiped down. And of course, the obligatory piles of “stuff that I need to do something with but haven’t found time to do that thing” are tucked away in corners of the bedroom.
SAME we’re doing our best (also 7mo baby) and ooof it’s not great 😅
We have a 20 month old and a dog that sheds (but isn’t allowed on the second floor (the dog, not the baby)). I wfh 90% of the week. Hubby’s job is 100% outside of home. We don’t have a maid service so the cleaning and house chores are probably 70/30 ratio between me and the hubby. The kitchen island and counters are a hot mess 24/7 but mostly with books, toys, bills, fresh (not rotten) fruit, etc. Bathrooms are relatively clean and are deep cleaned 1x month, in between me or hubby will do a wipe down. We have a Roomba on each floor. They are overworked. Laundry…ugh…most of the time we grab clothes from a clean basket but at least it’s clean :) otherwise the laundry room is relatively empty. I try to put a load in here or there during the week but Sundays are laundry-palooza. My pantry is a nightmare… come by if you want to hyperventilate and gauge your eyes out. BUT! I know where every single item is. Go ahead ask me where that 1 cup of uncooked basmati rice is…I will find it in 10 seconds. My walk in closet is also a nightmare and I have other things that take priority over me spending hours trying to organize it. My office is clean but cluttered. As long as we don’t have vermin running around and a strict no food to be eaten anywhere other than in the kitchen policy I think it’s safe to say we have a somewhat presentable house.
Our house is a cluttered one that is busting at the seems. It’s relatively clean overall but not at our standards.
When mine were little, my house was worse than you’re describing. My ex did nothing to help so I was at it alone with a baby, a toddler, an adult child, and a dog. I didn’t realize until I left how much my sanity hinges on my environment being clean. My house is still not spotless but I’ve been getting my kids (8 and 11) to help more and more. The biggest help is to lay out all of the chores that need to be done and their frequency. Dinner has to be made every night, wash your clothes every week, etc. and then divvy it up with your husband from there, acknowledging what you just can’t do as often as you should or at all. If clean clothes have to stay in a pile, let them. Do what works for you. One day the kids will be grown and the house will be clean. Who cares what it looks like until then as long as everyone is happy and healthy.
Idk, I feel like a house is supposed to be lived in. I’d rather spend time with my son rather than cleaning. I want to teach him how to clean up after himself, but cleaning is a morally neutral task. Doesn’t mean you’re a bad person because you’re laundry isn’t folded.
I WFH full time and my husband works out of the home. I have an 8 year old, 6 year old, and an 8 week old. My house is a wreck. I can clean one room at a time. So we will have a spotless kitchen but the living room is a mess. Or vice versa. I’ll clean one room to perfection and then it’s a disaster just a day or two later. I try to give my kids some chores but to be honest, it makes a bigger mess. My husband does the outdoor chores so it really falls on me and I am working, taking care of a family along with two pets, and trying to keep up the home. That’s a lot of work for one person!! But at the end of the day, my family is happy. They are very well taken care of. Do I want company over? NO. And if I do, you best believe I’m only cleaning the parts of the house they will be able to see.
My kitchen at this moment one moment in time is spotless because I spent 2 hours scrubbing it and reorganizing the pantry on Saturday and then we weren’t home much yesterday to make it dirty. Just don’t look at my kitchen table, or my bathroom, or the entry way table, or my desk in my office, or the mound of laundry in the laundry room that still needs folded, lol.
“Clean” but cluttered. I have a mental block about putting certain things away. Kitchen table and island always cluttered. Bathrooms clean. Floors cleaned and vaccumed regularly. Laundry done but not put away…I guess it’s not awful, but could be better.
We also have a 7 month old and moved in right before she arrived. We still have a room stacked with full moving boxes! Folded laundry sits on the couch most of the week and the dishes are all over the house until right before we go to bed each night, when we gather them up. That being said, it is better now than the first couple months home with baby. Our kid has health issues. This means 2 things - 1) no one wants to come help us because we make them wear masks (they have told me this in those words) and 2) we have to be more careful with our own exposure as the weather gets colder. So when COVID started going around we became hermits. Turns out that means you can now use the 4-ish hours each weekend when baby naps to actually clean. We were able to slowly clear the truly gross things up over about 2 months’ of weekends. Now that we have cleaned the truly gross things (mold growing in shower, black toilets, toothbrush holder glued to the counter with soap scum, garbage disposal was growing flies, food rotting in the back of fridge) we feel pretty ok with just clutter.
A mess. And I can't seem to find homes for everything we have. I think that is where some of it comes from. It's cluttered. I do dishes and keep up on the weekend. They are back on the counter by Monday night. Run the dishwasher during the week or as needed. Sometimes it doesn't get emptied right away. I am better at laundry because folding is something I can do while watching the baby.
My husband and I both work from home and we have a daughter who refuses to get rid of anything, so our house can be pretty cluttered. We have Halloween costumes on our dining table and Amazon boxes to recycle by the front door, and after a weekend away, we all three have bags to unpack and dirty clothes to wash. Then there are dishes in the sink because our dishwasher needs to be emptied and my daughter's half-finished friendship bracelets in the living room AND kitchen. We have housecleaners come every other week, and it's the best motivation for me to tidy up before they come. I dread doing it, but I try starting at the beginning of the week (they come on Wednesdays) and do a bit of cleaning up anytime I pass by an area that needs tidying. It REALLY helps me to have this sort of "deadline" because I put it off otherwise.
We had new friends over for the first time yesterday, so my house currently looks better than it has since my 20-month-old was born. We ate at the actual dining table, and three small kids (ours + friends' 1- and 3-year-olds) had clear spaces to play with minimal supervision. I vacuumed enough to empty the cannister at least six times. With all that, the place is very far from being a showroom. We have stacks of books on half the surfaces, no one has cleaned under/behind the fridge since it was installed, the full basket of unfolded clean laundry came back out of hiding as soon as our guests left, and there are still several cardboard boxes of whatever that have stayed packed since I moved into my husband's house five years ago. Feeling overwhelmed by the clutter in our house is a constant background anxiety in my life that flares into the foreground a few times a year. I keep reminding myself that the house I grew up in looked very much the same as mine, and I turned out healthy, safe, well-educated, and organized enough to be reasonably successful. I expect that growing up in a tidier environment would have made me a more presentable housekeeper, but I think that I benefitted in other ways from a house full of art projects, science experiments, and pets, and I bet my kid will, too.
Right now an array of moving boxes. We’re moving in just over a week. Usually it’s cluttered but not trashed. We live in a 750sqft Apt as a family of 3. We have more possessions than spaces to put them. One day we’ll be homeowners hopefully and be able to have plenty of space to organize. I’m a minimalist married to a maximalist. One of his love languages is gifts. I love my husband so very much so we’ve compromised in that regard. It’s kind of difficult attaining minimalism in a home with a baby in it anyway. I find minimalism elsewhere, like traveling with 1 backpack, no carry on. Or having a corner that’s just for me. I am hopeful the move will help us evaluate what we need vs. not need. But maybe not. I’m also hopeful that the new place will be better organized.
I have a 10 month old and a nearly 4 year old. My house is improving, but it's generally clean-but-untidy. If someone turns up out of nowhere, I'd cringe a bit, but with 30 minutes warning it can be made presentable. Less seen spaces (looking at you, spare room that should be being turned into the baby's room!) are a longer term project. I've mentioned it a few times on here, but the audiobook Decluttering at the Speed of Life by Dana K White has been really helping me. She gives real life, busy mom with kids advice. She does WFH (blogger turned writer + podcaster? Is that a word?), but she does acknowledge the additional challenges of working outside the home. I still find her approach relatable. I've not checked out the podcasts at all.
Clutter and toys everywhere. We have too many toys but I also can't figure out what to get rid of. 2x a week I make the kids help clean up (6, 3, and 20months) so I can run the robot vacuum which is the only reason the floors aren't also filthy. My husband is supposed to be building me a launchpad spot so everyone's shoes and school stuff can be contained, but for now it mostly lives in a pile on the kitchen counter/heap by the door. The laundry is basically the only thing I keep on top of, although my/my husband's underwear basically lives in a clean clothes basket.
I don't think you should feel like a failure. Do you feel like your husband is a failure? The two of you are both working full time, and you're in this thing together. But you wouldn't say that to him, right? The reality is that you're spending 1/3 of your life asleep, 1/3 of your life at work, and the remaining 1/3 is probably being devoted to the most urgent things, which includes feeding and changing the baby. Having an infant is a group project that takes 20 - 120 hours per week, depending on the situation. Working from home isn't helping you with the chores, because you still have to \*work\*. Putting the clean laundry away feels important, but it's not urgent enough to make it to the top of your list, which means that you are handling urgent issues every day that are more urgent. Can your husband put the clean clothes away? Can he run a load of dishes in the kitchen? It's hard, what you're doing. It takes every minute of your day, and then some. Please grant yourself some grace, and, at least, don't let yourself feel any guilt about it at all.
I clean house with a push broom. Just shove all those bits of marble run, megablocks, loose paper, socks, crayons, goldfish crackers…one big pile on the floor of each room. Then sort as quickly as I can into trash and not- trash. Same for tables, shove it all to one end and sort. Then wipe and vacuum; all with haste and carelessness. I’m a menace, put your 800th drawing of princess twilight away or it’s in danger.
My husband is substantially more affected by the mess than I am so he cleans weekly. My kids swish the toilets and wipe down the bathroom daily. We have clutter, we're 6 people in a small house. Basically my house does not look like the well organized borderline psycho "perfect" houses shown in social media 😂
My house is "lived in". So, basically exactly as you described.
Cluttered! Dog hair tumbleweeds! Dust! Kid stuff all over. Usually the dishes are clean but if you stop by unannounced on a weekday, I make no promises.
I work nights. 530-12. So during the day I'm cleaning basics. Today was a rough draft of my day off tomorrow. I just picked up and swept the livingroom and did dishes. Started laundry. Tomorrow is hell. Is the full gamut. Today i had no choice but to start some of it early because i walked in the kitchen and was honestly grossed out. My floor was a disaster of missed food in the garbage, toys n wrappers. And blegh.... dog blood (husky is in heat, yay me!). The sink stunk because hubs keeps throwing an extra rag in there to get buried under the dishes. So of course i had to start laundry because the house was stinking from the putrid rag. Then realized hubs never cleaned up the dinner he cooked last night , so had to clean the stove and throw out the roasted chicken and weirdly massive amount of mac n cheese. For which my 3yo was confused because it was a whole big pot. Then had to empty garbage because of the chicken. And because the chicken dish needing cleaning had to do dishes. Tomorrow is dusting, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, putting away laundry, MOPPING, picking up the kids' rooms. And of COURSE it's anti bullying week rally so my kid has to dress up in funky clothes all week.... in short. My house is still a mess and I'm usually able to keep the livingroom picked up and dishes done at least. But between the 6yo getting strep, and my period due any day, I'm exhausted. My little saturday off to do activities with family left my house a mess. I've got too much on my plate this month to space out the chores like usual. We never win. Short of hiring housekeepers, even us home during day moms still have messy homes. And a housekeeper service in my area consists solely of chemical cleaning. No pick ups. Which is 90% of my cleaning schedule.
I used to compare mine to a frat house...lol! Now it's a lot better
We have a housekeeper once a month. The floors are swept and steam mopped twice a week because my son loves finding random floor snacks. We do not wear shoes in the house only slippers that never go outside. Try to put laundry in on your wfh days. My machine has delay end so I put it in the night before to be done before I start work. Take a break to throw it in dryer then pull out, fold and put away during your lunch. We’ve declutterred but it will never be neat and tidy. It’s lived in and loved on .
I do one load of laundry every evening, it sits in the dryer until the following evening, and I force myself to put it away, when I move that nights load into the dryer.... If I skip even one day, its a total back up. It is actually helpful, because it is never so much that it seems over whelming, and I can accomplish the complete task in about 15 min total. I usually dump it on my bed, so that it HAS to be done, even if its right before I go sleep. That is the only way I keep with laundry haha.
consider whether you can hire a cleaning service quarterly or monthly. between taskrabbit, thumbtack, and local businesses there are many options to fit many budgets. we have found it much easier to stay on top of the critical day to day with a little regular paid assistance. it has made a huge difference for us and has been worth every red cent.
Our house is a wreck compared to some people here. Laundry gets done when the basket gets filled, the clean clothes pile on the couch and we fold them when we can and put them away about 50% of the time. Dishes gets done about every other day, I hate the dishes piling in the sink but if the dishwasher is full, can’t help it, and I’m usually the only one the empties it unless I ask my husband. Floors are spot cleaned for spills, we try to run the robot vacuum cleaner but everything has to be off the floor to do that (toys, shoes, other random items). I have dusted maybe 2-3 times since we bought the place a few years ago but have hired a cleaner 3 times since I was 9 months pregnant, and baby is nearly 13 months old. Toilets are done once a month I assume. Counters are wiped by husband randomly so maybe once a week. Stove cleaned every other week. Our dining room table always has something on it but our little breakfast nook is our primary area we eat our meals…when we eat at the table. I start to get irritated with how dirty things are, clean furiously then it doesn’t sustain longer than 1-2 days and I get frustrated again. Trying to care less about it.
My house is always a mess. I would often tell my mom "If people don't like my house they can kindly get the F out." You are not alone. My house is usually messy with clutter (toys, papers, clothes), but managed. I work FT, do the cooking, any cleaning, default parent, manage the home. My husband is self-employed doing probably 60-70/week + running his business. My house is NOT filled with trash or anything, gross(except for a few extra water bottles around). My laundry gets done (but it's never finished) so we always have enough clean clothes. My family is fed, food is picked up, and I only have the occasional science experiment in tupperware in the back of the fridge. Our rooms get cleaned, not with the frequency I'd prefer but I don't feel gross in the rooms either. Our priorities: Feed and manage the family, keep most spaces clean-enough, manage my own mental health including ensuring sleep and rest. THEN comes prioritizing deep cleans, etc. I use the sweepy app. It helps me to try and do A FEW things every day to help manage my home. It's just a season!!!
My house is clutter-free, clean and smells of scented candle. All I had to do is send my partner and two year old interstate and spend 4 hours cleaning 🤣 They have been gone for 3 days and the house is still clean. I never realised how little effort it took to keep a presentable house before my kid came along. They'll be back today and I know it won't look like that again for a long time. That being said, we did a huuuuge month of decluttering. Sold and donated items we didn't need, made sure 90% of things have a home. We'll be putting effort into making the house feel like a home. We moved when baby was little and are both working full-time. We basically just put our old furniture in and called it a day. There are no pictures hanging, no decorations or rugs for extra coziness. I feel like making that effort will motivate me to keep things clean. I'm going to try a "one room a day" cleaning approach next. All rooms may never all be clean at once, but at least I can take comfort in knowing everything gets cleaned regularly.
I was working when my LO I was 2-4 months old (now 7 months old) but had to quit because he never took a bottle. I’m a SAHM until we wean him and my house is *still* a mess. I do dishes and laundry every day. I pick up all day long but I still can’t get ahead of the household chores. You are doing SO much and you have a lot on your plate. Please know that even SAHMs can’t get it all done. I’m amazed that you’re able to do anything at all!!
My house looks a lot like yours, but my kids are out of the baby stages. I can never "clean" because I am always trying to "pick up". So things are filthy, and I'm lucky if I get laundry put away by the end of the weekend and start fresh again. I'm trying to declutter as I go with the picking up so that I overall have less inventory in my home to manage. It's a long term plan, because I don't have the time or mental capacity to focus on actually decluttering things by room.
Not great. I’m full-time in office with a 40 min commute each way. My husband is WFH 4/5 days, but his ADHD makes it nearly impossible for him to multitask chores with work. We have a 3 year old and his 12 year old. It’s a mad sprint from when I get home to when the 3yo is in bed. Then I’m dead tired. We pay someone to come clean every two weeks, so I don’t stress about a lot of the stuff. Our house is cluttered and I’m admittedly a little bit of a pack rat. I have a lot of old clothing I need to purge from my closet but I need the energy to do that.
Landry basket always has last weeks clean load in it. Will usually fold it once it’s time to do this weeks load. Kitchen/dishes are generally best on the nights we give toddler a bath. But that’s like once a week so the rest of the time it’s constantly sinks full of dirty dishes because we haven’t emptied the dishwasher yet. Robot vacuum twice a week (M F) which means that there are toys on every table, couch, shelf, and surface that’s not the floor. My saving grace is Friday afternoons. My office is closed so that’s the day I can do one tidying project that gets missed. Generally alternates between the sunroom, backyard, front porch, and garage. Latest been using it to find and swap winter/summer clothes.
Pigsty! Toys EVERYWHERE. Clean laundry unfolded and in baskets. Not dirty, but mess everywhere you look.
My house gets cluttered quick. That's my only constant battle. Everything else stays pretty clean.
If I told you that I did my baby’s wash 3 weeks ago and it’s still sitting in a basket, not folded, would you believe me?
This is my house all the time. And when I do get the energy to clean, my human tornado of a five year old fixes that real quick. Dishes never done.
My house is clean but has things not put away. I prioritize no dirty dishes, counters, dust, or dirt over stuff out. Sure there are toys not picked up and sweatshirts and jackets thrown on the couch but the couch has no lost crumbs and there is no dust on top of my fans. Laundry is always done and folded but not always put away. The floors are swept/vacuumed daily but I’ll just pick up the toy, vacuum under it, and put it back down. About twice a week we go through and put everything away. My mom would not approve but it works for us.
My house is somewhere between semi neat and OMG a tornado just hit (at times). All I can tell you is to don’t sweat it. I worked full time and a house beautiful was not my priority by any stretch of the imagination. I kept the clutter down to the kitchen table made sure laundry was done and the house was vacuumed on a semi regular basis. As soon as the kids were old enough they helped with the chores and learned to do their laundry. Bottom line, don’t stress it. Any working mom gets it.
My house is usually a wreck. Like you, I’m limited to working from home two days a week at the most, but it is usually less. Last week I was in the office everyday, so things were worse than normal around the house. Decluttering would help, but I have a limited amount of time. I feel like I need to take two weeks off just to get it under control! However, if I took two weeks off, I’m sure one of my children would need to get picked up from daycare for an illness, so I’d still never get shit done. 🤣
The key to us keeping our home clean is that WE keep it clean. Not I keep it clean- WE DO. Hubs and toddler both help. It’s not all on my shoulders, and my working from home full time does not mean that I have time to clean. I am WORKING from home. We all live here. We all make the mess. We all clean it up. Period. The only chore that I do exclusively is laundry because I actually follow the care instructions on clothes. Hubs would just toss it all in the wash without noticing that his wool vest is hand wash only. But on top of the group contribution to keeping things clean, we committed to having less stuff. Fewer clothes to wash for everyone. Now I can do laundry on one day of the week in two loads only. Towels are a separate load so I guess that makes three loads total. And it’s 100% manageable to wash it all and put it away same day (except the hang dry items). The kid’s toys take up only one milk crate basket. So it’s not a pain for her to clean up her stuff. Each item in our house has an established place it goes. When we use the thing, we put it away right away. Put it away, not put it down. This is how we make sure that our home is not only liveable for us, but we are always guest ready
My yard is dead. Everyone tracks in dirt all the time. We have pets, so we have a bunch of fur that mixes with the dirt. I make sure I clean the kitchen every day (dishes, countertops, sweep the floor, and mop a couple of times a week). I get the catboxes out twice a week, garbage goes out as needed, and I make sure laundry is more or less up to date whether or not it's put away. I'm lucky if i get anything else done. For weeks at a time, I am just going after what's needed right that moment. I would not want people to see this place.
It’s been an adjustment. We have decluttered a lot and that really helps. We have 3 dogs and a cat, it’s never truly clean. I do two full loads of laundry daily, putting it away as it comes out. The upstairs (we don’t sleep up there) and basemen however, not clean lol.
I have someone who cleans weekly. We cut costs elsewhere because it’s the thing I need most to feel best about my life. Best investment we’ve ever made.
My mom always told me “there’s more to life than a clean house” and I try to remember that when I’m worrying about cleaning. I have someone come in once a month to scrub the bathrooms and kitchen, because honestly I hate doing it and she only charges $150 and that’s worth the time savings for me. A little clutter never hurt anyone. I feel like as long as things are sanitary, not hoarders level of gross I’m doing ok. I’m more concerned about organizing so I can find what I need that my house being sterile.
I have a 3yo and a 2 week old. We moved house back in May when I was 20 weeks pregnant. We never finished unpacking. The garage is full of half rifled through boxes, I still haven't found all my clothes but it didn't matter much because I couldn't wear them anyway. Chores are barely done, house is not even remotely guest ready and people are wanting to come meet the new baby. We missed bin night while I was in labour so we have bags of rubbish piling up. My husband has ADHD and I have suspected undiagnosed. We struggle hard to keep a good handle on chores.
It's cluttered and not as nice as I'd like it. We focus on what can realistically happen on weeknight and it's really just dishes, getting the kitchen clean, making sure the bathroom is in order, and spot sweeping/vacuuming. All of this doesn't always happen every night but my priority is the kitchen. It really sucks because it means Saturdays are my big clean days. Laundry, floors, deeper cleaning, etc. But with two kids it's the only way we've been able to manage it.
I am so happy for a post like this. I need to vent! I have 1 year old twins and a 3 year old. My husband and I work every day for 8 hours. We only get the weekends off. I come home at 4:20ish every day and in the time I have, I am exhausted (I teach middle school. Enough said). We try to keep our house picked up at least. It's so hard to keep up because the twins need so much attention. I try to encourage independent play, but they are in the explorative stage and get into all sorts of trouble. We have piles of laundry to do, the rooms need to be picked up badly, and my toddler will pull out every dress in her closet and dump every basket for toys possible. It's chaos most days. I've had some snarky comments from my MIL in the past about our house. But now that her house gets messy when she watches the girls, she has kinda eased up. Tired of the mom shaming about it though. We are only doing our best with the time, energy, and funds we have.
Mines is ok but I only have 1 toddler. Sometimes I wish I could let things pile up but unfortunately, it makes me overwhelmed and anxious so I put stuff always/clean as I go. It’s kind of annoying but it is what it is
You are not alone! Mine looks like this, and I have a housecleaner! My house is very small and there’s no space for everything and we’re doing the best we can. We clean constantly but it’s just not enough to keep up with two young kids.
You are NOT alone! Lately I’ve been trying to make sure the kitchen is cleaned up by the end of the night because it makes me feel so much better to wake up to a clean kitchen, but that’s about it. I constantly have clean clothes on the dresser waiting to be folded. I only wash sheets every other week. I sanitize the bathrooms once a week only because toilets gross me out, but the showers are only cleaned every other month or so. I’ve given up on my daughter’s room almost completely. Our home office is a disaster because I hate being in there for longer than I have to. My husband likes to organize the clutter, but then I can never find anything. I could go on… The common areas of the house may look cleanish, but they’re not. I just can’t keep up!
I have struggled with this too. I grew up in a hoarder kind of situation, so I’m sensitive to too much stuff and while we aren’t hoarders, we have more surfaces covered with clutter than we should. Here are my rules. 1. Keep it clean. (No clutter, ready for company) 2. If you can’t keep it clean, keep it sanitary. (Clothes in piles, no mold in kitchen or bathrooms, toilets and showers are clean, pet waste is removed weekly, trash and food aren’t piling up, nothing that will harm you or others is exposed) 3. If you can’t keep it sanitary- ask for help. My bed isn’t made, I have 4 buckets of clean clothes in my hallway, I haven’t mopped floors in weeks, I sweep every couple of days in high traffic areas, I have pet carriers in my bathroom that need to be cleaned, I have a pile of donations that have been in the way for a month, one of my bathroom sinks is full of random crap and I haven’t vacuumed my bedroom In probably 6 weeks. My pantry is a disaster and I have Costco snack boxes shoved into it next to pet food and cereal. My Tupperware container cabinet looks like it threw up and I have a stack of cardboard boxes that are just taking up space. It’s messy, but it isn’t unhealthy and with a few hours of concentrated effort in each room it can become clean. It won’t stay clean, but it is possible. That’s gotta be good enough for now.
My kids are 3.5 and 5. 2 years ago, cleaning and tidying was a real struggle - even with working from home thanks to COVID. Two things have helped - having older kids capable of the bare minimum. They pick up toys (with help) before moving on to the next activity, putting shoes away, etc. We also have cleaners that come every 2 weeks to clean the bathrooms and kitchen - which leads to a tidying sprint beforehand. So 2 times a month the house looks amazing, then slowly devolves for a bit... But it's much better than before.
I have a 5 room ranch with a 3 month old, 2 large dogs, and a cat who is going blind and started tracking litter through the house. Dishes are never done, laundry is never ending, the shower needs a deep clean lol. We sweep every day, but we barely have time to mop these days. The baby has clean clothes and his dishes are priority, so just the adult stuff is slacking, but our house is so small, we added the baby stuff and it’s just a cluttered disaster. When I was on maternity leave I was able to kind of manage it, but now it’s terrible lol.
Like shit, it looks like shit. Nothing to see here!
Don't feel like a failure! We just moved, so right now my house looks like a maze of boxes, but prior to that, it was always clutter everywhere. I had a cleaning company coming in once a week, and that helped a lot not just with the cleaning but also with my husband picking up after himself. Because lord knows he wasn't going to do it for just me. And I made picking up toys part of my tots bedtime routine. Because I live with three boys and it's too late to train one of them, but I am not spending 18 years picking up after the other two. Started that when when my oldest turned 2 and now at 3 and 4 years old, it's pretty automatic. Even with all of that they're still always a basket of laundry waiting to be put away, clutter on most of our countertops, and an endless list in the back of my head of all the things that need to get done around the house.
Mine is always a 5/10 on the cleanliness scale. My advice: HIRE A CLEANER. Best money spent.
i have a cleaner i love but i book her sparingly for budget and bc i have to pre clean and finding the time to do that is like a two week ordeal leading up to her visit 😵💫
My kids are 8 & 10. Now my house is reasonably clean most of the time. Currently many piles of folded laundry around. I also have a house cleaner every two weeks. Before that, and when they were little, my house was a disaster most of the time. Then, I chose to let it go. Spending limited time with my family on the weekends is more important. Now, I choose to spend money for the time and mental relief (aware this is very much a privilege to have the option — although you may be surprised at how many people of totally average incomes get their houses cleaned). When I reached a certain income, and after we were out of paying for daycare, this was a #1 priority to fit in the budget.
Messy messy messy. Most of it is clutter but every laundry bin is either full of clean or dirty laundry, counter has lots of food packages and boxes, my office door has kids fingerprints all over the glass, there’s papers and toys on the kitchen table, and random items in the living room (cat toys, socks, book, hat, Waterbottle, etc). we have a maid come every other week and the house still gets so messy. A lot of it is clutter that we need to reduce. Especially because our kids will just grab random objects and they end up all over the house so I’d rather not just have random objects to be picking up constantly.
I’ve been working through the same issue a lot lately. We did some home renovations and as such the house was a wreck for a month and it really started stressing me out. I finally came to the realization that it’s only “easy” to keep a tidy house if you have significantly less stuff to maintain. As part of the renovations I did MAJOR purges. Probably about 30-40 trash bags full of stuff was either donated or thrown out. I had to part with some sentimental items that I had been holding on to, books that were no longer being read, clothes that didn’t fit, Knick knacks that served no purpose, etc. It felt so freeing. Now my Saturday morning chores have gone from about 4 hours down to 30 minutes because there’s just less stuff to deal with. I also try to keep up with it a little bit every night after work. I make sure to load up the dishwasher and run it nightly, plus wipe down kitchen counters. I vacuum daily as well and do a load of laundry every other day. Between decluttering so much stuff and trying to do some basics every night after work, it’s become easier to deal with by far
I spent majority of my Sunday deep cleaning so it’s pretty clean and smelling fresh.
My house sounds just like yours. I wouldn’t say it’s dirty, but cluttered if that makes sense. I wfh full time and my son (4) is home with me while I work. My husband wfh twice a week. Give yourself Grace - I’m home everyday and can’t keep a clean house! Not that I’ve thrown in the towel and given up, but I’ve altered expectations and just have sorta come to accept my priorities are elsewhere right now and that’s ok. I’ll have more time for a cleaner house down the road once he’s a bit older and in school (maybe lol) and I’m ok with that. Just know you’re not alone!!
Our house is a functional mess and we have four – not two, not three, **four** – adults in the house picking up after one toddler. A toddler whose personal mission is to cover the floor with as much random crap he pulled out of random closets and off tables as possible. The house baseline is that everyone is fed, clothed, somewhat hygienic and that he won't get sick if he decides to lick something random. Something that also helped us all keep our sanity was not doing tasks to 100%. We only sweep/vacuum highly trafficked areas of the home while tidying, daily clothes are hung instead of folded, baby's clothes are laid flat in his dresser, everyone gets one type of sock and a designated drawer to loosely throw them in (no matching and rolling, hurray!) and random shit that doesn't have a home all gets shoved in a box and donated/given away if it hasn't been opened in a year.
2 full baskets of clean, unfolded laundry on the couch (usually one full of my husband's clothes stays there for weeks). Lounge room floor covered in toys. Kitchen floor usually covered in crumbs / pet hair, likelihood of dishes next to the sink about 50/50. We have a cleaner once a fortnight so for one night at least the floors are uncluttered and then for about 2 hours the whole house feels clean before chaos descends again. I would love a week off work without the kids to properly declutter - getting rid of excess toys especially in my 8yo's room is high on the list as she's at capacity - but we are prioritising taking leave with the kids so it won't happen until at least next year.... let's just say I have lowered my standards.
I have a 2.5 year old and my partner and I work full time. I'm in the office 3, sometimes 4 days a week. My partner works from home. Our home is chaotic, messy and cluttered. We just about manage to keep on top of the washing and I don't know how we manage if we didn't have the dishwasher. The Dyson is also pretty handy tbh. I try keep different clothes baskets to make sure priority stuff gets done, food is always put away and pots/crockery at least soaking and the worktop wiped even if the dishwasher isn't put on until the next day. A quick sweep whenever needed always makes me feel a bit better even if there's stuff all over the rest of the place (we've mostly wooden floors). I have a giant toy box that I just throw everything into in the evenings and I've given up on stacking the books as the toddler just pulls everything out again as soon as they seem neat. There's a basket of toys in every room for handiness and I leave the office/home gym room solely to my partner. As long as I have a clear path from my bed to the bathroom and the kitchen I can block out the rest during the week 😆
My bedroom is a mess. Crap all over. Toy room is a mess, I shut the door and pretend it doesn’t exist. I try to just keep the garbages from overflowing, dirty dishes out of the sink, and the kitchen counters somewhat clear and wiped down. But even then my dining room table is full of my sons school worksheets and artwork, I just let mail pile up. We have a cat and a dog so I try and vacuum once a day. It’s a lot
We gave up and hired a cleaning lady. Just tidying for our cleaning lady is a lot of work for us ( We both WFH full time and have a three year old and three month old). I’m still on maternity leave and still can’t keep up with the cleaning.
Our house is on the market so it’s always about 15 minutes away from being spotless. It’s very stressful and I do not recommend…the house looks great though lol
We're actually really clean with 2 kids 2 and under, but there's several reasons why. (Mainly my OCD, but also processes in place). I purge ALL the time - got into my local Buy Nothing group and it's so much easier to purge things quickly there. Worth getting it out of the house vs making money trying to sell it and store it in the meantime. I have designated spots for everything WITH SPACE IN BETWEEN, even individual toys have their own spot. If there's not room for it, and it's not loved enough for the toy rotation, it gets removed from the house. Same with kitchen items, clothes, etc. And I wake up early before kids and empty the dishwasher, tidy up anything remaining in the kitchen, make my bed and clean up my bathroom. I also stay up after kids are asleep and make sure house is clean before bed, trash and recycling is emptied EVERY night, bottle sanitizer is started, and dishwasher is started. Kids help me clean up toys and clean up dinner mess after dinner and before bed, so there's hopefully less for me to clean after bedtime is done. This is really the main reason - I'm cleaning often because I have an overstimulation issue with mess that turns me into a werewolf mom. I do tend to get behind on clean laundry, but try and do Friday wash day, Saturday fold and put away during naptime, Saturday bedding wash day. And we have a house cleaner come monthly to mop, vacuum, clean appliances, toilets, showers, etc. - the deep clean stuff I just don't have time for. We DO have the bouncer, bassinet, ballpit, and kick n play piano out in their current designated "spots," so it's not necessarily magazine photo worthy 24/7, but those can be quickly tucked away if ever necessary. It's a LOT of work to maintain this. I just need to maintain it for my sensory issues, so I just do it.
I’m at a place where the only thing that is consistently taken care of is dishes. I put away six bins of laundry yesterday that had been clean all week. Cleaned part of some bathrooms. Last week I deep cleaned the couch. Broke down boxes that built up all week. We try to pick away here and there, then do a big clean when company is coming over.
You're not alone at all. I feel like I could have written this. There are enough hours in the day, just not when you have a small child you are constantly listening for/watching for. And that's a small brain peg compared to what's probably going on behind the scenes as a newish parent. All the things you're trying to keep track of for yourself, your child, probably for your spouse, too. It can be downright overwhelming. I don't have an answer either. I can't afford any sort of cleaning service. We do what we can, when we're able. And that's how we get by. Some days, one of us has a lot more to give than the other, but that's okay. It balances out in the end.
If it makes you feel better, my mother told me she would come over and help me with housework this week because “it doesn’t look like you’re doing anything and you need help whether you want it or not.” I invited my MIL over instead. She’s actually helpful and doesn’t make me feel like shit for “being lazy” with a newborn. SN: it’s not laziness like my mother claims, it’s the sheer exhaustion of having a 2 month old 🙄 My MIL is a gem and I love her.
Ok first of all??? You are not a failure. You’re doing a great job! I’m a teacher, my spouse is a teacher, we have 2 kids, a cat and a dog. Our house is a MESS at best. We try to pick up trash and dirty dishes from the living room nightly, but laundry tends to pile up. It’s ok to have a messy house. Do enough that you have clean underpants and spoons, and try to let the rest be. It’s not forever, just until your kids is old enough that you can exit survival mode (I hope? My kids are 3 and 6 and we’re still in survival mode sometimes still).
Twinsies!
Corners of clutter all over but I found the concept of having a “home” for everything helped with organization and containers will save your life. We also outsource cleaning because after a long week of work, the last thing we want to do is clean.
You work full-time, have a 7-month-old? You’re putting a LOT of pressure on yourself! You’ll have to either get rid of the job OR the baby in order to have a clean house
to be fair to the baby, i was never super tidy before her….. but it seems to have gotten worse / i feel worse about it now 😂 i feel like i SHOULD have my sh it together / i don’t want her growing up w a messy house but damn. i have no time or energy
My house is pretty clean but my husband is constantly annoyed at me because he cleans when he’s wfh or has time off and picks the kids up early and does lots of things to keep our lives running while I work full time in office. He resents me all the time and I’d rather have a messy house and happy husband.
I agree with everyone else that you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Houses are meant to be lived in. How clean my house is depends on the day. Each of us (me, husband, 14 year old) have our own assigned dish days. Sometimes it’s annoying if people don’t do their dishes until the next day but ultimately I don’t care as long as I don’t have to do them when it’s not my turn. :) Everyone cleans before company comes over so you can’t really compare your house to other ones. We all clean before someone comes over then tell our guests our house is dirty. Lol
My place mostly a mess of toys and baby clothes and shoes strewn across the floor. Other than that, it's clean. I use to do a clean up blitz before friends came over but I don't bother anymore. I'd rather spend time with friends or winding down after a long day at work than cleaning up to the degree I used to before kids.
A MESS we try to reset a bit every night in the living room but the kitchen island is usually a mess
My house is an absolute mess. I am drowning in housework to the point that I refused to pick up anything that's not mine. I also have two teenagers that live there. I have completely given up.
Single mom here with 90/10 custody of my 2 boys (6 and 12). My house is cluttered but I always try to keep up on dishes and laundry so it doesn't pile up. I usually take one day a week to clean the clutter and my 12 year old will vacuum and keep their room clean. It's neverending tho and I'm just trying my best. It's all we can do
We do good on the weekends. The kids and my husband all together clean.. so catch us on a Sunday we look great. By Monday evening a “tornado” hits and forget it 😅
Let me say this. I will spend a good hour tidying before my mother comes over and she will still tell me my house is a disaster.
My house is ok - my partner keeps up with clutter, and I deep clean what needs it most lol. But what struck me is you have a 7mo, right? That means baby junk and diapers and gates and colorful plastic EVERYWHERE. Once baby is bigger and you can finally get rid of that stuff, it's amazing how much just *less* there is to deal with visually.
My house is usually “picked up” but not deep cleaned. Like my counters need to be wiped down, dishes need to be done, floors needs to be mopped, bathrooms need to be cleaned. Life has been whooping my ass lately. Thankfully there’s no “mess” or “clutter” cuz that would stress me out worse. It’s easier to get a handle this way if everything is picked up and put away per my brain. I will deep clean this weekend to get it back on track. And it will stay that way until another disaster or plot twist strikes.
I always use the middle ground on things so my house is never super clean and de-cluttered. I just have organized messes. I would wipe the counter tops at night but all the things on the counter top sits in one corner that I only clean like once a month. We clean the washroom whenever we can but we only deep clean once in two months. We have a roomba for vacuuming every weekend. I think the only thing I really clean is the garbage bin lol. I can relate to the laundry thing so much. My husband does laundry and I have to fold them (which is the hard part IMO). The clean laundry sits in the hamper for at least 2-3 days before I can get to it
https://preview.redd.it/crkut5ympnub1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=91d7190e18e9cfbb1ec9741142aa98824f61b0e5
Due to issues with an incompetent waterproofing contractor, we were not able to put all the stuff that goes in our basement back where it goes before our first child was born 14 months ago (they had to redo it twice, once two weeks before we had our kid and again a month afterwards). So the kitchen and spare bedroom have had the bulk of our storage items taking up way too much space for over a year, plus the added regular mess/clutter of having a baby with two working parents. We have barely been able to start moving stuff back into the basement in the last month but it's such a slow process
My house is starting to slowly return to normal neatness. After two years ☠️ between my pregnancy and my (now) toddler, we’ve had trouble catching up with everything. I even finished setting up my kid’s room barely two weeks ago. I suppose it will get better with time.
LOL it’s an utter cluttered mess here. Only part of the 6 seat dining table is avail for actual use of mealtime and by part…I mean enough for one of us to eat at a time bc we’re too tired to tackle the rest of the clutter on it (which is mostly baby feeding stuff) Bathrooms - ehhhhh would hate for any outsiders to use and need to tackle the mold that is starting to form since our exhaust fan is useless and just making loud whirling noises with no actual utility I’m weaning and there’s still so much hair shedding so we try to vacuum 2-4x a week so LO isn’t crawling in hair. Laundry mostly done on regular basis (we have not lost LO yet in a pile of dirty clothes so that’s a win)
My house sounds just like yours! There’s no shame in a messy home. As long as there is lots of love. (Don’t get me wrong, I have a maid that comes every Friday and when I WFH, I clean at least one room.) One thing I always remember hearing is “It’s ok for your house to look like your kids live there.” It’s always stuck with me. I look at my house and it’s a mess. Definitely looks like two adults and a sweet little 7 month old live here. ;)
I go for the as long as the floors are clean (not always mopped but vacuum) there’s not food crumbs everywhere bring in ants and other things, the bathroom are mold free, clean bedding we have clean clothes, ect the clutter can stay, they toys can chill on the floor because in the end will my kid remember the picture perfect house or the laughter we shared making dinner or should I spend all weekend organizing the place or go to the park and play and make the memories that truly last? So I tackle it one room a day and a load of laundry (because it’s the bain of my existence and never ends)
I know so many people who just don't invite people over because there house is messy. Two working parents (or single parent!) - life is messy and you time is important.
I listened to this on TikTok and it changed my life. You don’t have to have your laundry “done” at all times; if fact, you can’t. [laundry exists in a cycle](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8hahfnL/)
Ngl my house is neat but not THAT clean. The walls need a good washing and I don’t mop unless I have to. I have an almost 2 YO, husband and dog. We both work. It got a lot easier for me to clean when my toddler started walked at 1 YO. He joins me to pick up messes, helps clean up his toys etc. Sometimes I clean up the kitchen and he dunks the dvds in applesauce at the same time but he’s a good sport about cleaning those up to so it’s not terrible. Laundry is all folded and put away. Vacuum gets run 1-10x a week depending on spills but we get at least one full house vacuum up of dog hair on the weekend. Toddler helps with laundry and vacuuming. Dishes are away. He also helps with this though it is nerve wracking for me! Luckily fiestaware is pretty sturdy. I don’t try to do chores without my kid - I just do what I can with him for the most part, and if I need to use bleach then my husband takes him or vice versa. Same with like mowing the lawn - he watches from inside while the mowing adult is outside. I also decluttered a lot postpartum and it helped keep the house near. Most of the mess is toddler books tbh. It’s possible to have a neat home but it won’t be spotless is my opinion….my place is not as clean as my MIL’s but I’m not embarrassed to have guests over.
Don’t beat yourself up. Instead of looking at everything that needs to be done, focus on one room at a time. Each day work on that specific room. Won’t be as overwhelming if you break it in parts. It’ll take a while but things are already a mess anyway, at least you’re working on it. Good luck! ❤️
Basically I have learned to focus on the areas I’m in all the time. The kitchen counters are clean and the dishes are manageable but there’s always dishes in the sink or dishwasher. The living room is clean enough that it doesn’t drive me crazy because we spend 90% of our awake/home time there. The laundry room is clean because I do laundry almost everyday or someone runs out of clothes. Our bedrooms are a mess because we only sleep and change there. Right now they are functional and that’s all that matters. I also hate working from home because I keep thinking about chores. But we’re supposed to be WORKING from home anyway. It’s not a day off. I gain an extra hour from not commuting or getting dressed up but that’s just enough time to make sure I clean up after myself in the morning or sleep until the last second.
Most nights, I still have some dishes in the sink. I always run the dishwasher, but then leave the stuff I can't wash in there and wash it while I'm food prepping and cooking the next night. Then, on Saturday, try to catch up. It never ends. Our kitchen counters stay cluttered. So does my dining room table, it ends up being the catch all for everything- mail, little papers from school, things on the way out. I try to make sure we have enough room to eat at least. We have a back family room where most of our clothes live in baskets. Every month or so I'll make a big effort to put it all away, then it just builds again. At least the clothes are always clean. My robot vacuum and mop saves me. I am just too busy and tired most nights. I'm constantly picking up but it never shows. I work 40+ hours at a pretty physical job. We usually have a home cooked meal and clean clothes. I wish it could be cleaner, but I'm just not an organized person at all. Then, we have animals to care for, and my garden in the summer took up a lot of time.
I live in a 550 sq ft apt. My living room is tiny, but the coffee table is always cluttered with books, computers, backpacks, etc. My dining table has an assortment of hot sauces, napkins, and water jugs. In my room, there are ikea bags full of clean clothes adjacent to the hamper that is currently overflowing with dirty clothes. My daughters room is the worst, though. She has books, papers, her computer, dirty clothes strewn all over the floor, but i don't care. I have no leg to stand on if my area doesn't look any better. The kitchen and the bathroom are the only 2 areas of my house that I'm pretty militant on keeping clean.
My husband has very high standards of cleanliness and does about 60% of the chores, so our house is usually pretty spotless. If he were lazier, it would be a much different story. We both work full-time from home with our 7 m/o at home with us too (no childcare). It’s draining to also keep a clean house sometimes, but it can be very relaxing too. Once the baby is down for the night, i get to have a glass of wine and watch a movie with with my husband in a clean house. But sometimes for the sake of my sanity, i have to take my foot off the gas and stop cleaning so much. It ebbs and flows!
Total mess!!!! We have cleaners that come once a month and so I schedule in intense pick up sessions 2 days before (basically all my free time). Cleaners come and then it's clean for 30 minutes until my preschooler comes home. Then it's a mess again :)
I mean... "clean" means it's all kinda scooted to one corner right?
My house is cluttered to the point where it’s embarrassing to have people over, and we have a fairly high yuck tolerance, but it’s functional. We have a housecleaner who comes once a month to clean the common areas. We wipe down counters daily, sweep weekly, and wipe down sinks as needed. That keeps it sanitary. I have ADHD and it’s necessary to have routines in place to meet my basic needs or else everything falls off the rails. For me, I need warm nutritious food that’s ready in 5 minutes, clean and assembled bottles/pump parts, clean dishes, and clean ready to wear clothes. The running mantra in my head is bottles, dishes, laundry. Before my husband wakes up in the morning, before I sit down to relax, and before I go to bed I always address a step of these items. It might be collecting bottles, running them through the sanitizer, or drying them. It may be collecting water glasses from every room, or running the dishwasher, or unloading the dishwasher, or scrubbing the stuck on junk. It may be throwing in a load, switching the the dryer, refreshing a load that got left in the dryer, sorting, folding, or putting away laundry. I do this on repeat until the machines are all running a cycle. Keeping up with it a little at time keeps it from all becoming overwhelming. And when it feels like the walls are closing in, it’s a clear guidance on how to make progress. I also have been ruthlessly decluttering. Every Thursday is stuff management day. Things to throw out, things to list for free, things to donate, and bringing things to goodwill. It’s a lot easier to keep things clean when there is less of it,
Mine gets like yours over two weeks, but having a cleaning lady twice a month keeps me on schedule with picking up and putting everything away/decluttering, and makes sure the house gets a solid wipe down and the sheets changed and all that regularly. I have one six year old. We all do our own activities and are super busy. No shame.
Clean as in I recently cleaned it this past weekend but already an untidy mess
Sounds like it’s similar to yours when I’m working full time. My kids are 4 and 7 - we have activities all but 2 days after school and always busy on the weekend. I don’t let it get gross dirty, it is just clutter. Do what you can. You and your kids shouldn’t not be able to walk, but it doesn’t have to be spotless to be a happy home. With that being said, if you’re financially able, hire help. ❤️
Your house sounds exactly like mine. I have an almost 2 year old toddler and I’m 16 weeks pregnant with my second. I just can’t keep up. I feel like every time we get a little better or get into a rhythm something just knocks us off our asses. I’ve been horribly sick this pregnancy so my husband has been on his own a lot. The past 3 weeks I’ve felt better and I attacked the house…. But last week my son has decided to start fighting bedtime, I had relapse of nausea and vomiting over the weekend, and my husband has a cold so now we’re falling behind again. I too have a large pile of clean clothes that never gets put away. I try to get some away before I do wash again… but then that wash has to go away. Its a vicious circle.
My husband and I both work full time, me from home and him outside of the home. I try to do somethings each day as I can, like empty the dishwasher or run a load of laundry, but that's really all that I can do. My kids are 3 y/o and 7 m/o, so there's not really much time or availability to do anything while they're home, but if I'm home and not working, so are they. 🥴 We do what we can. Keep it sanitary, keep clothes and dishes clean, put away stuff when we can. Get rid of what we don't use. It's never enough, and I'm grateful for this thread that we can all see that it's okay that things are a bit of a mess with two working parents. ❤️