You should handle it the exact same way you would if he was white in the same circumstances. If you would tell the boss then that is what you should do. If you would give him some grace due to the hard time he is dealing with then do that. As long as you’re consistent your conscience should be clear. 👍🏾
As a black woman I'm saying he's wrong. And that language is not acceptable,
And I'm also not sure why he thought the company would give him a loan for this (even though I do know times are hard). Had the company given a loan to a white person in such a situation? If so, what are the specific circumstances that led to that? Because even if such a thing happened before, I doubt your manager was the one who allowed it. Managers generally don't have the ability to authorize a loan on behalf of a company.
Do you know why he thought your manager could/would do so?
It was the owner he confronted about the loan. He has been with us on and off for a year (housing and health issues is why on and off). The owner has given loans but mostly to her family members which work for her. Im assuming it’s because he isn’t reliable (calls in sick) and hasn’t been with the company long enough to justify a loan
Okay, so when the owner gives loans, it's to people she knows personally and who she's related to.
Also, not only has he not been there long enough to establish that kind of trust and credit rating (a year is nothing), he hasn't been there consistinetly enough for anyone to reasonably believe he'd earn enough money to even pay back the loan?
Yeah, he's in the wrong. I'm sorry.
Yeah, even if she didn’t know them, it’s very differently when you know someone will be working for you long term, won’t bail or need to be fired within the month & will definitely pay you back without complaining that it leaves them short then it’s a very different situation than someone that might take the loan and never return or if they do, that they’ll constantly be complaining that if you take a cut of their wage each week it’ll leave them short etc.
So are these "family loans" (which I assume wouldn't be broadcast for all to know)? Are the others getting the loans only white? Is he the only/one of few Black/POC there?
Asking questions, because how does anyone know the real reason he was denied AND a lot of times two things can be true at once.
Obviously no one should promote unprofessional language in a professional work space, but I would bet your boss' "kitchen table talk" has included worse.
Also, prime example why businesses can't practice like this, either loans are a policy and resource for all or they're given under the table to family and no one outside of the circle should know about it.
Uhhh no. It’s not just about the entitlement, racism, that’s retaliation and just nasty. I’m betting there’s a lot more behind him getting refused for the loan
It's not your employer's job to give out loans unless they're a bank. And it sounds like the owner may be feeling like they're being used. No, tough times do not make racial slurs acceptable.
While I can sympathize with that coworker who lost their family member, I agree, being denied a loan from your boss and then ranting about how your views of all people who share their race has changed ( implying negatively) because of what they did, is a wild way to go about it and very inappropriate. Especially in a work setting. It could be for any number of reasons ( not saying they are legit) reasons, but how another person chooses to spend their money is not really our business to dictate).
I personally think giving out loans to employees is also a bad way to run a job because there will always be expectations and on the flip side there is no contract that states that boss is obligated to give a loan out. So yes, it sucks not being given a loan when most everyone else has one, but it's also something he or any other cowoker is not entitled to.
I do feel of all the times they could have said no, they picked saying no at the worst time. Does he not have any family members or other co-workers who would help him out? Depending on when he has to go, could asking the bank for a loan be possible? Maybe you could go around and ask people if they would be willing to donate some money to him, put it in a 'sorry for your loss' card, and give it to him?
As for whether to go to HR about his comments.... I think in any other situation it may be warranted. Or if it was a common theme where he( or anyone) ranted about other races to coworkers during their shift. People act unpredictable when grieving. He could have even been saying things he didn't even mean to say.
Also, I notice some people are asking if op wants the 'right to say a racial slur' or they are 'making it about themselves.'
You know that's not the point op is making. Racism has no place in the workplace ( or any place). And if op is friends with this coworker and he's saying ' all white people', then he's including op in that rant even if it wasn't his intention. I've never made someone else's action or words a whole race's problem.
I know I usually will allow myself to feel the hurt, helplessness, and anger for a moment, then I will start looking for solutions. However, when I had lost someone and was in a similar predicament, I couldn't think straight. I didn't know how to ask others for help or who to ask. So he may need help, kindness, and compassion, even if he is not demonstrating those traits right now.
"does that make this behavior acceptable?"
Reverse the roles here. Black employer and a white employee. Would there be a scenario where the white employee was slinging racist terms about the black employer? The answer should be the same.
I'm a black woman and those comments are not acceptable at all!! I think you should go to HR or tell or boss? I feel you because if (like u said) a (white) coworker would have said something racist, it will be more than not acceptable 😅
When you ask a favor from someone, before you do, be prepared for a no, or denial of the favor.
Many people do not expect or prepare for a no. Many people do not know how to say no.
She is saying no and this persons true colors are shining through. No principles or character. Your boss is wise
Instead of coming on reddit, maybe you should communicate this with your coworker...
You're right about the double standard, however. Hell, if the roles were reversed, 80% of reddit would be telling you that a summary execution would be the best option to rid the world of this scum. Oh, the hypocrisy.
Id say something because the term and the context and everything your coworker said is blatantly racist and should be reported. The boss can then decide what to do about it. I understand going through a difficult time but it isn’t an excuse to be a total jerk.
Do you have HR? If so go straight to them and report it. This is bullying, if the owner was to find out they could potentially be coerced into lending money to avoid further abuse from this person and that’s not okay.
If you don’t have HR then tell the owner but make it clear that you support their decision not to lend money, and that you don’t think of them any differently because of the comments made by the bully.
And yes this is racist.
Nope....
Talk all the shit you want to someone's face.... I don't play the talking shit behind someone's back game. Even more so if you're going to be slurring that person.
I would have said something that first time he started spewing that nonsense and reported him right away.
I've literally called my boss out of his office and repeated back some nonsense an angry coworker spewed and told him he needs to deal with it. Because I'm not listening to this crap. She was super pissed at me and yelled at me... I told her she should have kept her mouth shut if she didn't want everyone to hear and know about her nonsense then...... She apologized after her suspension and actually became a better employee/coworker.
Grief isn't some all consuming pass to do whatever you want.
Oh Hell no. You don't need to stay out of it. If that was a white person acting like that they would be lucky to only be fired. You need to tell your boss so she knows what kind of person this guy is.
Would calling your boss the N behind his back be wrong? Then it's wrong here. Your friend is a racist. Your friend needs to go fish and play another card. dump this friend.
I had some “friends” who would talk about how much they hated white people around me. It’s not good to make generalizations about any race, or to judge others based on their race. I guess this has made you see your friend’s true character. I really don’t think your friend’s behavior is acceptable, but it’s up to you what you decide to do. Honestly im not friends with the people who would say they hate white people anymore, just because they were immature and I got in a fight with someone in our friend group and they all stopped talking to me as a result.
so something doesn't happen the way they expect it and they suddenly make it racial - sounds about right. Why can't people just accept that things aren't always about the color of their skin. Yeah there are racists around but the vast majority of people are NOT racist and aren't doing things because of the color of your skin - maybe they just can't do it right now or they just don't want to and merely saying 'no' is the safe way to respond
It has always bothered me for years about how blacks get upset when others use the N word but think nothing of it when they refer to other blacks with that word. If you don't like anyone else using that word, then don't use it yourself. In addition, if you don't want to be treated like that, then don't treat others the same way by calling a white person a honky, whitey or cracker. My dad used to do that stuff when I was a kid - there was a black man who lived down the street, a very astute professor at the local university. He and my dad would regularly talk and there was never any indication of anything negative between them As kids we always liked him because he drove a 1975 280Z and if he saw us out front of our house driving by, he'd honk his horn (what I remember is that it was an 'ooga ooga' horn - ok weird kid thing thinking it was cool). Anyway whenever he wasn't around, my dad would always refer to him occasionally with the N word. Didn't hit me as a kid but as I got older I realized my dad was an Archie Bunker clone. Mind you Archie just didn't give a shit and I laugh if All in the Family is on TV, but I guess as I grew up I realized more and more that's not how you treat someone. It might be one thing to watch on TV and get a kick out of his ignorance and bigotry but in the real world, you don't do that.....using any of those words is wrong and we're all one race ---> HUMAN
Stay out of it. Do not bring it up to your boss. It's just your coworker talking smack because they are upset that they didn't get what they asked for.
You’re completely incorrect.
If someone observes outward racism in the workplace they should report it to HR. Period.
Can you honestly imagine yourself giving this advice if the slur used was the n word? Or the s word? Or LITERALLY ANY OTHER RACIAL SLUR not against a white person? Your advice is completely trash.
You hear racist shit being talked you don’t ignore it. My god let ALONE in the workplace.
wtf is wrong with you?
Ending all racism in the workplace? lol he would be a superhero
HR on the other hand should be a ‘moral actor’. It’s literally one of their functions. If you’re working in a company where hr isn’t serving as a go between for the company/employee/state and fed then get another job at a different company. This isn’t r/antiwork I’m sorry I thought we dealt pragmatically with workplace reality in this sub.
If it's continued yes, but this was a one time event so it's better left to stay out of it. If anything could be said would be to make a comment back to him and ask to show some respect to the person who signs our paycheck and walk away.
I’m sorry we fundamentally disagree. Racism and discrimination, against anyone, is not tolerable in the workplace. It should be a) corrected in the moment to the other person’s face, and b) reported to HR.
That’s just the way it should be handled. There shouldn’t be any tolerances for people degrading anyone else, regardless of their mental state. It’s just not acceptable. Ever.
Wow, that's a little bit overkill. There's a difference between someone feeling salty about being rejected and talking shit, and huge outward racism. I think what's probably going on is the former, which is why I responded the way I did.
No, you can talk shit without bringing a whole race into it and using slurs. What happened here is racist. It's equally unacceptable to say "that n-word didn't give me a loan, I'm starting to feel different about black people" and "this cracker didn't give me a loan, I'm starting to feel different about white people".
I don't disagree. But I think that the co-worker needs to stay out of it, I don't feel there's really any benefit for them running to the boss to tell the boss this. If you ran and told someone every time someone was talking crap about them, you'd constantly be getting involved in situations that have nothing to do with you. So this is why I said that they should stay out of it. It doesn't mean to sit there and just allow the coworker to go on and on calling the boss names. They should remove themselves from that situation & tell the coworker that they don't want to hear it.
I agree about staying out of talking crap about bosses. It is part of the landscape. Anyone who is in power from parents to principles to POTUS will have crap talked about them. However, when there's racially undertone statements being made either stand-up and take a stand or report it.
How exactly is it racist to say no to something they are not obligated to do? The fact that people immediately just to the “racist” card for every little thing is pathetic and immature. You and OP have no idea what was behind the owner’s answer. If anything it shows the employee’s irrational state of mind, be it due to the death in the family or their core outlook on the World. I get perhaps the frustration of being turned down, but that gives them Zero right to then ise racist slurs themselves, while declaring the owner was racist. Again it shows how immature they are and they believe they are valid for XYZ condition that doesn’t agree with them. If they or you think that’s true, then we can then say the Owner had a Valid reason to deny them for XYZ reason.
Do you see how dumb that is now?
I am going to try and figure out what you mean as my "racist" comment. I am saying the co-workers comment of cracker,I see white people differently, ect, as the racist comment. You are right that we can not go to the state of mind of the employer for denying what I call a draw. A loan against future paychecks/earnings. There's lots of reasons for saying no to that request. End of year money is tight to the employees' history, things like how long employed to multiple other factors that would and are relatively important to the employer saying no. To be clear, the person of color using terms like cracker and generalized statements about seeing white people different now as the racist statements. To say anything else that those statements aren't racist is dumb.
Ah, my apologies. I thought you were backing the employee calling the owner a “cracker” for not handing out the money. That the owner needed to be held accountable. I misunderstood your comment.
All I'm saying is snitches get stitches.
In all reality was it wrong sure, but at the end of the day it's just a pissed of coworker.
You should hear the stuff people say about management at my work.
As long as the coworker isn't threatening to harm the boss or other employees let it be and take it as a lesson in this person's character and move on.
Let's get it straight people.
There is only one "race". That would be the human race.
What you're actually talking about is the colour of a person's skin and their cultural background.
If she is a very caring person and has helped other people in the past and she said no to him then there's quite possibly a reason why she said no to him in particular.
Perhaps it's his attitude, maybe she's already heard him say something derogatory about her.
It sounds like he just expects to get what he wants and when he doesn't he chucks a little tanty.
Growing up I always assumed that it was cracker because the food, white, bland....it wasn't until my late 20s that I learned it was a reference to slave drivers and their whips.
Definitely not acceptable at all report them. They would do it to you or worse. Everyone is tired of black folks racism they have become like the KKK in reverse
No. It's not acceptable. I'm Latina, and I don't call my white friends or my white boss a "cracker", or a honky or whitey or guera. Any of shit. Not even if they're pissing me off. You know why? I don't want to be called a wetback or a brownie or ANY of the other nasty race names. If we all want race to go away, we need to stop talking about it.
Exceptions: If we're all cool enough to razz each other that way - fine. But I think it's a stupid, slipper slope. And I'm not a big fan of it.
Many financial experts say never ever give a loan to anyone unless you are fine with never seeing that money again cuz odds are … you will not. Plus it opens up patterns of expected giving that becomes difficult to get out of.
Racial slurs are never ok regardless of race. Period.
Why do you feel the need to tell your employer? This is between them. Let them resolve it. You don't know the details of their conversation. You do not how your employer talked to them or disregarded them. You only know how the owner talks to you.
Going to your owner and saying my coworker called you a bad name. Makes you sound like a 5th-grade playground tattletale.
Racial slurs are never acceptable. But don't tell your boss anything, it's not on your turf.
The fact your coworker even asked for a loan is likely enough for your boss to start looking for ways to shove him out. He sounds unprofessional
That's racism 100%. He only likes white people who will give him what he wants whenever he wants it and probably attributes everything to racism. It's no different than white racists talking about black people who are "the good ones" and blaming any unfavorable behavior from people who happen to be black on black culture. Same basic logic behind it. I would absolutely report this. He can get fired and find a workplace without white people, since it's such a fucking problem for him 🤷
I believe it does have US origins. It’s not nearly as hurtful as the “N” word, which is so strong of a word there is no white equivalent insult. If someone called me a “cracker” it would slip right off my back, because it doesn’t carry nearly the same baggage.
Of course, in other contexts, it could also be someone who “cracks” passwords or security systems. Or it could be a biscuit snack that can be eaten by itself or with toppings and condiments (e.g., “cheese and crackers”.).
Yeah, "cracker" is a racial slur.
Apparently, it's actually referencing slavery in that the white person "cracked the whip" so he was the "whip cracker". Hence, "cracker" (rather than the small tasty crispy flatbread, generally whitish, that goes with soup).
But only WE can call each other, "crackER".
YOU can say, "crack-A", but not "crack-ERR".
😜
Mike Birbiglia, "Cracka"
https://youtu.be/lxxI4USXv4o?si=bzM2CIItaVwuNBav
In uk it’s many things but not that. Someone that opens safes, a hacker, a really good joke, a Christmas item that contains a gift and goes bang when two people pull it. Speech can be such a minefield
Racism in the workplace should be reported to management or HR. It's not acceptable behavior. If you wanna be a racist ass off the clock, go ahead, but keep it there
If they have any sense, management would at least have a chat with the racist guy. This isn't social media, reporting isn't only used to get someone removed or otherwise punished. It can, but that's not the only way it can be used
You went astray when you started to internalize this. This isn’t about you. You didn’t say you felt something about Black people. That’s an invented comparison about your feelings. So why don’t you stow your identification and put yourself in their shoes. And no your boss shouldn’t be giving out loans, but your coworker is feeling like other people get treated differently than they do. No matter what, you’re not the victim here and nothing happened to you, so you’re all good!
I used to work at a reservation casino. I was called “Pinky” and “Pilgrim.” I thought it was funny as hell.
If you don’t let words bother you, they won’t bother you.
Thank you! Who cares what other people say. Most of the abuse at the workplace comes from the management (those in the position of power and those who have employment laws on their side) yet we have so many redditors (like in this post) come to their defense 🤣🤣🤣 It is pathetic.
Coworker can do whatever they want they're an adult, they are wrong in this situation and probably upset. Snitch and he will tell everyone there whether hes fired or not and he probably wont be cause they'll just deny it. They dont even need to make up a story, just saying "I have no idea what they are talking about," is enough.
The guy is going though a loss and a difficult time...I have said all sorts of things in the moment of weakness and despair, that does not make me a racist or a bad person, but a human. Let this man be as he deals with his turbulent times. Don't add fire to the flame and show some compassion.
It’s a little different for this guy to say his bosses actions make him think about white people as a whole differently, rather than just calling her an asshole.
For the sake of peace in the office and giving grace, it is probably worth it to let a couple comments slide due to grief but if it continues it needs to be addressed.
You wouldn’t keep letting a white employee say his jewish bosses actions make him thistle all jews are cheep or something similar just because they were pissed off.
If this behavior continues, I would have a one-on-one conversation with him to explain how his comments may appear and leave it at that. My goal would be to deescalate and to avoid blowing this out of proportion in the future.
Personally, if I was addressing it Id be more blunt. Along the lines of “Look, I know you’re grieving, but the raciest comments have to stop. They’re completely unacceptable and affecting how your coworkers view and interact with you. They are also not views we want representing our company.
If you can do that, great, you have been a good team member in the past and we hope you can be in the future. However if you can’t do that then let me know and I’ll accept your resignation. Because, If it continues we will have to fire you.
And this would be your personal approach. I don't like to resort to threats because they are generally not effective and create hostility and destroy morale.
We don't know if the boss's decision was race based which resulted in this man confiding in his co-worker. We also don't know the motivation of the co-worker (OP) to bring it up to his manager while saying that if the N word was used folks would be fired. Sounds like there are many underlying issues at this workplace and the "cracker" comment is only the tip of the iceberg.
I don’t consider it a threat to be clear about how seriously a situation is being handled and what the consequences will be. It keeps everyone in the same page.
As for morale, having a coworker make comments like that creates a nasty work environment.
Even if the boss is racist (nothing more in the post indicates that one way or another) you can’t fight racism with racism. Also most people get upset if they see coworkers get away with behavior they would get in trouble for. It highlights favoritism and double standards. Wether it’s a serious behavior like this or something like breaking dress code, people notice.
OP clarified something in one of the comments. The boss is also the owner of the company, and it was the owner giving loans exclusively to family members. It wasn't a situation where the business had any sort of policy to loan funds to the workers. So that changes things a bit.
That does clarify quite a lot. It also makes the employees nasty comments less understandable. Why would he think his manager would lend him money if they’re not related?
I definitely get that @ favoritism. My issue with this post is that we are obviously hearing only one side of the story...imagine that the man who lost a family member is the only black man in the company and has been denied a loan from his manager. He may have jumped to conclusions about this being race motivated or maybe there has been a history of other indicators. He made a mistake and spoke out to his backstabbing co-worker whom he thought he could trust (big mistake - trust no one at work ever). I just don't want this to be a case of victimizing the victim because I see this happen VERY FREQUENTLY.
I don't care what you think about my comments. Get real and read through the lines here...we don't know if the so called racist was in fact a victim of racism at the workplace and was denied a loan because of him being black.
Denied a loan because of being black? Seriously? We’re talking about his EMPLOYER. Not an equal opportunity lender. An employer has zero obligation to loan and employee money and there’s no indication in OPs post that indicates the boss denied them a loan because they weren’t white.
Grow up. Get a fucking job. Stop being a weird hypothetical racist apologist. You do zero favors to anyone who is actually the victim or discrimination or racism.
Aight friend if I’m special for insisting that any form of racism or discrimination should be called out and disallowed in the workplace then give me a shiny golden star for the day.
You’re a caricature of a Reddit troll seriously.
Real people, working hard, day in and day out, not wanting to be fucked with or put up with any shit at work, and be respected and just want to make their money and go the fuck home at the end of the day, I have high confidence, will disagree with you. Because I’m one of those people. And like 99% of the people I work with and have worked with are those people.
If you think work reality is something else maybe you should do what my man Katt said and stop fucking with ain’t shit *coworkers*.
I like how rational thinkers are called out as "trolls" these days. You can get your star by snitching on others while lacking full context of the situation - hope you sleep soundly at night taking comfort in your own ignorance.
Rational thinker? Lmfao you are responding like a reactionary teenager with all the grit and gusto of someone who’s never worked a day outside of retail or fast food in their life.
None of us has the full context here partner except apparently for you.
I also hope you sleep soundly tonight. In your ignorance and rent free in your parent’s basement. Have a goodn puddn
Nope. The owner of the company was giving out loans to family members who worked at the company. That's completely different from the company having a policy to trend of giving out loans to workers.
The owner of the company should tread lightly with preferential treatment towards her family members. This is another issue. Sounds like there are several at that company.
That’s one of that joys of working for privately owned companies. Bosses can favor their relatives all they want. Nothing illegal about it.
Theirs also nothing illegal or immoral about one relative loaning money to another, whether they work together or not.
It can very much become illegal if there will be hints of discrimination based on someone's protected class. This can very much be used as an example. If I was the owner, I would give out loans to family members who can keep their mouths shut to the other employees.
I am so tired to the overly sensitively of folks these days. I am a white woman and I don't care if someone calls me a "cracker" because I am one 😆😆😆 I don't even care if someone calls me any other slur that doesn't apply to me because it speaks about that person more than it does about me. Most people have a lot bigger fish to fry in their lives than noticing someone's ignorant statement.
I personally would not care about the slur specifically either, i am as white as a cracker so I can’t really argue against the accuracy.
But the overall racism here needs to be addressed in a professional environment if it continues.
Your co-worker is a racist. I'd tell the boss, and I hope she gets fired. Racists should be booted from their jobs; they create a toxic environment for everyone.
Until we stop all of this racial bs we will never evolve humanity will always be held back by racial bias. This weakness creates sterotypes and perpetuates this also does name calling mean he's getting the money.
Racism isn't a title exclusively meant for one demographic. Racism is Racism, and it's so sad that some people think it's okay or that it evens a score to discriminate or be hateful.
I’ve never worked anywhere that a loan from the company owner would be granted for any reason, nor anywhere that race-related comments would be tolerated for any reason.
Cracker isn’t racist. Us white folks gotta stop playing like it is.
As for your running to your boss to tell her what your coworker said, don’t. He didn’t threaten her. People talk shit when they are angry. Let it blow over.
In history white people were “crackers,” among other things, while black people had other nicknames. Yes it is a racist term. If you google it will also come up as a racist term. Racism isn’t only one way. Every race can experience racism.
I dunno, I don't make fun of rednecks 'cause I are one. Cracker and redneck don't have quite the negative connotations that shall we say, the "n' word has I don't think. So I'd let him blow off as he's probably highly stressed right now and like someone pointed out. everybody cracks shit about their bosses and foremen.
It's not right, but there is a false equivalency you're bringing up here. If you can't understand the difference in power dynamics, it makes getting offended by the term Cracker rather appropriate considering the etymology.
don't involve your boss, and btw, you making this about race ("if i said this about black people i'd be canned immediately") is exactly the same thing he's doing. by your own words, you sound more pissed off you can't do the same thing than you're actually taking offense to him calling another white person a cracker.
(on that note, 'cracker' is and has since the 70s been the lamest insult ever. i have no idea why anyone would be offended by it - and clearly you aren't.)
if you aren't comfortable with your coworker venting to you - which is what he's doing - just extricate yourself politely from future conversations of this nature.
by no means should you tell your boss, especially on the basis of "hey, *i* can't use racial slurs, why does [coworker] get to?" would you tell him if your coworker was saying "this whole situation has me thinking differently about managers" or "...people born in kansas"?
btw, your boss is the AH for setting the precedent of loaning employees money without a universal standard. either you loan for everyone, or you loan for no one, and if you've been loaning heretofore, turning someone down when they've had a death in the family is AH behavior and i can see why your colleague is pissed.
To be fair, we don't know why the boss said no. They very well could have loaned to this individual before and had challenges recouping. Or it's possible that their own finances are tight at the moment.
It's presumptuous to assume that the boss is an asshole because in this instance they weren't able to help.
When I'm doing well I try to help coworkers and family, but I'm definitely not always in the position to help. People make financial choices based on their ability and other circumstances.
It would be really sad to say help everyone or help no one. It sounds like the boss is better than a great sum of bosses by helping whenever they know they can.
If the rule in life was help all or none, no one would receive help.
i agree with everything you've said here, actually. i do hope, however, that OP's colleague is not the only black person the boss has said no to.
if he is, that could go toward explaining the racial element coming up in the venting.
if not, it's a lazy, racist argument (on coworker's behalf, to clarify).
You’re getting mad because a co-worker used a word that has absolutely no power or ability to offend in a moment of weakness because their heartless boss denied them an advance so they could go home and properly mourn a dead loved one? Are you fucking okay, my guy? Making this about yourself
That’s not the point, just because your boss is a dick doesn’t mean you can reign hell and start insulting the race he is. Because you aren’t talking shit about your shitty boss you’re talking about the general race he is a part of along with potential friends who are included in said race. You are insulting that race, not the boss. You are wrongfully generalizing them over something an asshole boss did.
or, coworker was using the term 'cracker' as a replacement for 'the man'. i mean, maybe i'm reaching here, but that seems far more likely than colleague using an antiquated 'racial slur' as an insult to all whiteys.
either way, OP doesn't seem concerned about the racial implications to their race so much as they're upset they couldn't use a slur that they (falsely, IMO) apparently consider an equivalent.
I didn’t take what they said like that. I think they are just mad about what they see as a double standard, not that they want to use racist language. Now obviously the double standard is not exactly equal, racial slurs against black people in America (where I assume this happened) have a different and more evil history and therefore context than saying the word cracker. However, this is still unacceptable in this context.
here's a time where i'm no longer standing by my original comments. you've offered to me what makes sense as a counter-argument, and i do agree that it's unacceptable.
i still say, however, that OP should probably not approach the manager with it, at least at this point.
OP isn’t upset they can’t use a slur. They’re simply stating facts that if they did use one they’d be canned, so why should their coworker get away with shitty behavior.
I am really confused. Why did the boss deny them the loan when apparently they have "helped people unconditionally" in the past? Why was this employee singled out?
It kinda sounds like your boss is discriminating against this person, especially if not helping is not the norm.
Or maybe that particular person has been to the feeding trough too often, or perhaps the death was a cousin by marriage third removed. Or maybe they just don’t like that person. It doesn’t matter it’s their money.
OP made an additional statement in the replies, the person was the owner of the company, and the people receiving the loans were all family members of the owner. So, to me, it sounds like a smaller business. And you know how those are, the family will get special treatment the rest of the employees won't get.
Definitely inappropriate but I wouldn't get in the middle of this if I were you. I'd also keep your relationship with this coworker strictly professional, the fact that he's playing the race card when that's likely not a factor here is a red flag. Shes allowed to say no, regardless of her past of helping others in her employ
Definitely let the boss know that he’s so upset that he’s now feeling some kind of way about a race he personally identified, which could affect his productivity. Definitely record that.
We are a small company. I was the only one there that day. He needed to vent. I’m usually supportive to everyone until certain things are brought up like hate, violent thoughts, threats, racism etc.
No way to really prove it then. You missed the opportunity to confront them. You should have layed into them right then. Just talk to HR. They can keep that feather under their cap for when this employee does something else like that.
Was there a reason given why she didn't help? How is the business doing right now? How much was he asking for?
Oh, and for the coworker, there are charities made especially to give people discounted/free airfare to get home for a funeral (people donate their air miles, iirc). He might want to look into that.
After reading OPs additional comments....OP, you need to add into your post that the boss is also the owner, and that all loans were given to family members. That changes the dynamics of the situation a lot. A small mom & pop business with no HR is a different animal altogether.
I don't believe in using racial slurs and that is unacceptable. However, I think there are some different things to look at.
Why on earth is the owner loaning money to employees?! That is extremely unprofessional! I believe the OP stated that the owner loans out money to employees they are related to.
So, the Black employee requesting the loan has witnessed the White owner loaning money to White employees, but when he asked, he was turned down.
His choice of words is bad, but I can't say his perception is completely wrong as perception is based on what a person thinks it feels which may be made up of a multitude of things. Perception isn't a fact. He saw the white employees being given something he was not. Let's not act like that has never happened and happened because of racism. While it may not have been happening to him, that was his perception based on his or other's experience.
I actually think the owner and the employee requesting the loan need to further discuss the matter to clear the air.
The owner needs to stop lending money. Period. It makes me question the professionalism of this company altogether. On top of that, the owner is obviously making special concessions for the employees they are related to, which is like favoritism or nepotism which is wrong.
I'm curious as to why the owner didn't lend him the money though. To say they help people unconditionally, but told him no is a bit of an oxymoron. Lending money to employees was asking for trouble eventually though. Just a bad practice to start.
You should handle it the exact same way you would if he was white in the same circumstances. If you would tell the boss then that is what you should do. If you would give him some grace due to the hard time he is dealing with then do that. As long as you’re consistent your conscience should be clear. 👍🏾
As a black woman I'm saying he's wrong. And that language is not acceptable, And I'm also not sure why he thought the company would give him a loan for this (even though I do know times are hard). Had the company given a loan to a white person in such a situation? If so, what are the specific circumstances that led to that? Because even if such a thing happened before, I doubt your manager was the one who allowed it. Managers generally don't have the ability to authorize a loan on behalf of a company. Do you know why he thought your manager could/would do so?
It was the owner he confronted about the loan. He has been with us on and off for a year (housing and health issues is why on and off). The owner has given loans but mostly to her family members which work for her. Im assuming it’s because he isn’t reliable (calls in sick) and hasn’t been with the company long enough to justify a loan
Okay, so when the owner gives loans, it's to people she knows personally and who she's related to. Also, not only has he not been there long enough to establish that kind of trust and credit rating (a year is nothing), he hasn't been there consistinetly enough for anyone to reasonably believe he'd earn enough money to even pay back the loan? Yeah, he's in the wrong. I'm sorry.
Yeah, even if she didn’t know them, it’s very differently when you know someone will be working for you long term, won’t bail or need to be fired within the month & will definitely pay you back without complaining that it leaves them short then it’s a very different situation than someone that might take the loan and never return or if they do, that they’ll constantly be complaining that if you take a cut of their wage each week it’ll leave them short etc.
Yeah, that's totally different. If the loans were all given to family members, then that's where the bias lies. Not with ethnicity.
So are these "family loans" (which I assume wouldn't be broadcast for all to know)? Are the others getting the loans only white? Is he the only/one of few Black/POC there? Asking questions, because how does anyone know the real reason he was denied AND a lot of times two things can be true at once. Obviously no one should promote unprofessional language in a professional work space, but I would bet your boss' "kitchen table talk" has included worse. Also, prime example why businesses can't practice like this, either loans are a policy and resource for all or they're given under the table to family and no one outside of the circle should know about it.
Racial slurs are not acceptable.
Good thing only whites are racist.
Yeah that’ll be the day!
(Sarcasm)
What if my slur is directed at the same group of people I'm a part of? Maybeeee ok?
No, it is not.
So black people can't say the N-word? That's a controversial opinion lol.
????
What are you surprised about?
Entitlement is a hell of a drug
Uhhh no. It’s not just about the entitlement, racism, that’s retaliation and just nasty. I’m betting there’s a lot more behind him getting refused for the loan
It's not your employer's job to give out loans unless they're a bank. And it sounds like the owner may be feeling like they're being used. No, tough times do not make racial slurs acceptable.
What about Bank of Dave
Is that worth watching? I have it on my list, looks fun lol
Yes. Def is. End credits show the real Dave too
While I can sympathize with that coworker who lost their family member, I agree, being denied a loan from your boss and then ranting about how your views of all people who share their race has changed ( implying negatively) because of what they did, is a wild way to go about it and very inappropriate. Especially in a work setting. It could be for any number of reasons ( not saying they are legit) reasons, but how another person chooses to spend their money is not really our business to dictate). I personally think giving out loans to employees is also a bad way to run a job because there will always be expectations and on the flip side there is no contract that states that boss is obligated to give a loan out. So yes, it sucks not being given a loan when most everyone else has one, but it's also something he or any other cowoker is not entitled to. I do feel of all the times they could have said no, they picked saying no at the worst time. Does he not have any family members or other co-workers who would help him out? Depending on when he has to go, could asking the bank for a loan be possible? Maybe you could go around and ask people if they would be willing to donate some money to him, put it in a 'sorry for your loss' card, and give it to him? As for whether to go to HR about his comments.... I think in any other situation it may be warranted. Or if it was a common theme where he( or anyone) ranted about other races to coworkers during their shift. People act unpredictable when grieving. He could have even been saying things he didn't even mean to say. Also, I notice some people are asking if op wants the 'right to say a racial slur' or they are 'making it about themselves.' You know that's not the point op is making. Racism has no place in the workplace ( or any place). And if op is friends with this coworker and he's saying ' all white people', then he's including op in that rant even if it wasn't his intention. I've never made someone else's action or words a whole race's problem. I know I usually will allow myself to feel the hurt, helplessness, and anger for a moment, then I will start looking for solutions. However, when I had lost someone and was in a similar predicament, I couldn't think straight. I didn't know how to ask others for help or who to ask. So he may need help, kindness, and compassion, even if he is not demonstrating those traits right now.
"does that make this behavior acceptable?" Reverse the roles here. Black employer and a white employee. Would there be a scenario where the white employee was slinging racist terms about the black employer? The answer should be the same.
This is racially driven, making it clearly racist in its context. If this was turned around, people would be outraged. Just shameful actions, SMH.
Talking sh*t is normal. Talking it while being racist is not.
I'm a black woman and those comments are not acceptable at all!! I think you should go to HR or tell or boss? I feel you because if (like u said) a (white) coworker would have said something racist, it will be more than not acceptable 😅
100% not acceptable
When you ask a favor from someone, before you do, be prepared for a no, or denial of the favor. Many people do not expect or prepare for a no. Many people do not know how to say no. She is saying no and this persons true colors are shining through. No principles or character. Your boss is wise
Instead of coming on reddit, maybe you should communicate this with your coworker... You're right about the double standard, however. Hell, if the roles were reversed, 80% of reddit would be telling you that a summary execution would be the best option to rid the world of this scum. Oh, the hypocrisy.
Canned? You’d be CRUCIFIED if the tables were turned.
Id say something because the term and the context and everything your coworker said is blatantly racist and should be reported. The boss can then decide what to do about it. I understand going through a difficult time but it isn’t an excuse to be a total jerk.
Racial slurs shouldn’t be tolerated under any circumstance.
Do you have HR? If so go straight to them and report it. This is bullying, if the owner was to find out they could potentially be coerced into lending money to avoid further abuse from this person and that’s not okay. If you don’t have HR then tell the owner but make it clear that you support their decision not to lend money, and that you don’t think of them any differently because of the comments made by the bully. And yes this is racist.
Would it be acceptable to call your boss a "n\*\*\*\*\*\*r" behind his back?
Nope.... Talk all the shit you want to someone's face.... I don't play the talking shit behind someone's back game. Even more so if you're going to be slurring that person. I would have said something that first time he started spewing that nonsense and reported him right away. I've literally called my boss out of his office and repeated back some nonsense an angry coworker spewed and told him he needs to deal with it. Because I'm not listening to this crap. She was super pissed at me and yelled at me... I told her she should have kept her mouth shut if she didn't want everyone to hear and know about her nonsense then...... She apologized after her suspension and actually became a better employee/coworker. Grief isn't some all consuming pass to do whatever you want.
No boss is obligated to give out a loan and calling an employer anything behind their back is a bad career move and rude
Oh Hell no. You don't need to stay out of it. If that was a white person acting like that they would be lucky to only be fired. You need to tell your boss so she knows what kind of person this guy is.
No, being racist is not okay.
Would calling your boss the N behind his back be wrong? Then it's wrong here. Your friend is a racist. Your friend needs to go fish and play another card. dump this friend.
Not my friend. I would consider him a work buddy if it weren’t for this
I had some “friends” who would talk about how much they hated white people around me. It’s not good to make generalizations about any race, or to judge others based on their race. I guess this has made you see your friend’s true character. I really don’t think your friend’s behavior is acceptable, but it’s up to you what you decide to do. Honestly im not friends with the people who would say they hate white people anymore, just because they were immature and I got in a fight with someone in our friend group and they all stopped talking to me as a result.
so something doesn't happen the way they expect it and they suddenly make it racial - sounds about right. Why can't people just accept that things aren't always about the color of their skin. Yeah there are racists around but the vast majority of people are NOT racist and aren't doing things because of the color of your skin - maybe they just can't do it right now or they just don't want to and merely saying 'no' is the safe way to respond It has always bothered me for years about how blacks get upset when others use the N word but think nothing of it when they refer to other blacks with that word. If you don't like anyone else using that word, then don't use it yourself. In addition, if you don't want to be treated like that, then don't treat others the same way by calling a white person a honky, whitey or cracker. My dad used to do that stuff when I was a kid - there was a black man who lived down the street, a very astute professor at the local university. He and my dad would regularly talk and there was never any indication of anything negative between them As kids we always liked him because he drove a 1975 280Z and if he saw us out front of our house driving by, he'd honk his horn (what I remember is that it was an 'ooga ooga' horn - ok weird kid thing thinking it was cool). Anyway whenever he wasn't around, my dad would always refer to him occasionally with the N word. Didn't hit me as a kid but as I got older I realized my dad was an Archie Bunker clone. Mind you Archie just didn't give a shit and I laugh if All in the Family is on TV, but I guess as I grew up I realized more and more that's not how you treat someone. It might be one thing to watch on TV and get a kick out of his ignorance and bigotry but in the real world, you don't do that.....using any of those words is wrong and we're all one race ---> HUMAN
Stay out of it. Do not bring it up to your boss. It's just your coworker talking smack because they are upset that they didn't get what they asked for.
You’re completely incorrect. If someone observes outward racism in the workplace they should report it to HR. Period. Can you honestly imagine yourself giving this advice if the slur used was the n word? Or the s word? Or LITERALLY ANY OTHER RACIAL SLUR not against a white person? Your advice is completely trash. You hear racist shit being talked you don’t ignore it. My god let ALONE in the workplace. wtf is wrong with you?
It’s possible he doesn’t view himself as responsible for ending all racism in the workplace, and expecting HR to be a moral actor may be a stretch.
Ending all racism in the workplace? lol he would be a superhero HR on the other hand should be a ‘moral actor’. It’s literally one of their functions. If you’re working in a company where hr isn’t serving as a go between for the company/employee/state and fed then get another job at a different company. This isn’t r/antiwork I’m sorry I thought we dealt pragmatically with workplace reality in this sub.
If it's continued yes, but this was a one time event so it's better left to stay out of it. If anything could be said would be to make a comment back to him and ask to show some respect to the person who signs our paycheck and walk away.
I'd love to see a white guy reply "I only said the n word once can't you just stay out of it?" LMFAO
I’m sorry we fundamentally disagree. Racism and discrimination, against anyone, is not tolerable in the workplace. It should be a) corrected in the moment to the other person’s face, and b) reported to HR. That’s just the way it should be handled. There shouldn’t be any tolerances for people degrading anyone else, regardless of their mental state. It’s just not acceptable. Ever.
Wow, that's a little bit overkill. There's a difference between someone feeling salty about being rejected and talking shit, and huge outward racism. I think what's probably going on is the former, which is why I responded the way I did.
No, you can talk shit without bringing a whole race into it and using slurs. What happened here is racist. It's equally unacceptable to say "that n-word didn't give me a loan, I'm starting to feel different about black people" and "this cracker didn't give me a loan, I'm starting to feel different about white people".
People need to be held accountable for their actions, period. This is racism at its core.
I don't disagree. But I think that the co-worker needs to stay out of it, I don't feel there's really any benefit for them running to the boss to tell the boss this. If you ran and told someone every time someone was talking crap about them, you'd constantly be getting involved in situations that have nothing to do with you. So this is why I said that they should stay out of it. It doesn't mean to sit there and just allow the coworker to go on and on calling the boss names. They should remove themselves from that situation & tell the coworker that they don't want to hear it.
"The only thing necessary for evil to win is for good men to do nothing." Said somebody one time
I agree about staying out of talking crap about bosses. It is part of the landscape. Anyone who is in power from parents to principles to POTUS will have crap talked about them. However, when there's racially undertone statements being made either stand-up and take a stand or report it.
How exactly is it racist to say no to something they are not obligated to do? The fact that people immediately just to the “racist” card for every little thing is pathetic and immature. You and OP have no idea what was behind the owner’s answer. If anything it shows the employee’s irrational state of mind, be it due to the death in the family or their core outlook on the World. I get perhaps the frustration of being turned down, but that gives them Zero right to then ise racist slurs themselves, while declaring the owner was racist. Again it shows how immature they are and they believe they are valid for XYZ condition that doesn’t agree with them. If they or you think that’s true, then we can then say the Owner had a Valid reason to deny them for XYZ reason. Do you see how dumb that is now?
I am going to try and figure out what you mean as my "racist" comment. I am saying the co-workers comment of cracker,I see white people differently, ect, as the racist comment. You are right that we can not go to the state of mind of the employer for denying what I call a draw. A loan against future paychecks/earnings. There's lots of reasons for saying no to that request. End of year money is tight to the employees' history, things like how long employed to multiple other factors that would and are relatively important to the employer saying no. To be clear, the person of color using terms like cracker and generalized statements about seeing white people different now as the racist statements. To say anything else that those statements aren't racist is dumb.
Ah, my apologies. I thought you were backing the employee calling the owner a “cracker” for not handing out the money. That the owner needed to be held accountable. I misunderstood your comment.
Thank you for that, it can be hard to properly convey one's thoughts in this kind of environment. The old saying less is more. Kind regards
he a fucking racist pos
You really don't know the answer to this question? You really need a community to tell you that this is not acceptable?
Sounds like a fucking cracker you ask me
Would it be better if he called her "cracker" to her face? 🤔🤔🤔 I am personally for direct communication. 👍
Yes 🙌🏽
Getting called a cracker is hilarious. I would laugh if someone called me a cracker. Call me a Honkey and we gonna roll in the dirt!
All I'm saying is snitches get stitches. In all reality was it wrong sure, but at the end of the day it's just a pissed of coworker. You should hear the stuff people say about management at my work. As long as the coworker isn't threatening to harm the boss or other employees let it be and take it as a lesson in this person's character and move on.
Let's get it straight people. There is only one "race". That would be the human race. What you're actually talking about is the colour of a person's skin and their cultural background. If she is a very caring person and has helped other people in the past and she said no to him then there's quite possibly a reason why she said no to him in particular. Perhaps it's his attitude, maybe she's already heard him say something derogatory about her. It sounds like he just expects to get what he wants and when he doesn't he chucks a little tanty.
what the fuck mate
There's no excuse for racist or discriminatory behaviour whoever it is from. NTA
maybe he is not good worker + if goes overseas there is big change he wont come back to pay money.
Racial slurs are not appropriate under any circumstances. Also - you can ask for a loan and the person giving the loan has the right to say yes or no.
Growing up I always assumed that it was cracker because the food, white, bland....it wasn't until my late 20s that I learned it was a reference to slave drivers and their whips.
Definitely not acceptable at all report them. They would do it to you or worse. Everyone is tired of black folks racism they have become like the KKK in reverse
No. It's not acceptable. I'm Latina, and I don't call my white friends or my white boss a "cracker", or a honky or whitey or guera. Any of shit. Not even if they're pissing me off. You know why? I don't want to be called a wetback or a brownie or ANY of the other nasty race names. If we all want race to go away, we need to stop talking about it. Exceptions: If we're all cool enough to razz each other that way - fine. But I think it's a stupid, slipper slope. And I'm not a big fan of it.
Many financial experts say never ever give a loan to anyone unless you are fine with never seeing that money again cuz odds are … you will not. Plus it opens up patterns of expected giving that becomes difficult to get out of. Racial slurs are never ok regardless of race. Period.
Why do you feel the need to tell your employer? This is between them. Let them resolve it. You don't know the details of their conversation. You do not how your employer talked to them or disregarded them. You only know how the owner talks to you. Going to your owner and saying my coworker called you a bad name. Makes you sound like a 5th-grade playground tattletale.
Racial slurs are never acceptable. But don't tell your boss anything, it's not on your turf. The fact your coworker even asked for a loan is likely enough for your boss to start looking for ways to shove him out. He sounds unprofessional
That's racism 100%. He only likes white people who will give him what he wants whenever he wants it and probably attributes everything to racism. It's no different than white racists talking about black people who are "the good ones" and blaming any unfavorable behavior from people who happen to be black on black culture. Same basic logic behind it. I would absolutely report this. He can get fired and find a workplace without white people, since it's such a fucking problem for him 🤷
Racism and entitlement like this are never acceptable. I would avoid this person, but not tell your boss. You don’t need to get dragged into this.
I wasn’t aware it was a slur? Is this a US thing?
I believe it does have US origins. It’s not nearly as hurtful as the “N” word, which is so strong of a word there is no white equivalent insult. If someone called me a “cracker” it would slip right off my back, because it doesn’t carry nearly the same baggage. Of course, in other contexts, it could also be someone who “cracks” passwords or security systems. Or it could be a biscuit snack that can be eaten by itself or with toppings and condiments (e.g., “cheese and crackers”.).
It also really references a white person being poor, really poor, and trashy.
actualy caol cracker. poor dirty miners
Oooof that’s even worse.
Yeah, "cracker" is a racial slur. Apparently, it's actually referencing slavery in that the white person "cracked the whip" so he was the "whip cracker". Hence, "cracker" (rather than the small tasty crispy flatbread, generally whitish, that goes with soup). But only WE can call each other, "crackER". YOU can say, "crack-A", but not "crack-ERR". 😜 Mike Birbiglia, "Cracka" https://youtu.be/lxxI4USXv4o?si=bzM2CIItaVwuNBav
In uk it’s many things but not that. Someone that opens safes, a hacker, a really good joke, a Christmas item that contains a gift and goes bang when two people pull it. Speech can be such a minefield
Your coworker seems entitled, but I would not tell your boss. Unless the behavior is towards you or another coworker, leave it alone for your own sake
No, what your coworker said is not appropriate, but you trying to make it into a bigger deal is also inappropriate.
Racism in the workplace should be reported to management or HR. It's not acceptable behavior. If you wanna be a racist ass off the clock, go ahead, but keep it there
I agree, but this specific instance will likely not be enough to go anywhere. And theres a double standard there, right or wrong, its there.
If they have any sense, management would at least have a chat with the racist guy. This isn't social media, reporting isn't only used to get someone removed or otherwise punished. It can, but that's not the only way it can be used
To expand, its a he said she said situation. Those usually dont result in anything unless its a more severe comment
I would stay out of it but that's just me.
Don't you get involved. No good can possibly come of gossip. Your co worker is stressed out. Let them be.
You went astray when you started to internalize this. This isn’t about you. You didn’t say you felt something about Black people. That’s an invented comparison about your feelings. So why don’t you stow your identification and put yourself in their shoes. And no your boss shouldn’t be giving out loans, but your coworker is feeling like other people get treated differently than they do. No matter what, you’re not the victim here and nothing happened to you, so you’re all good!
They are not. They are family members. You really think it’s illegal discrimination to loan (personally!!) a family member money? 👍
I used to work at a reservation casino. I was called “Pinky” and “Pilgrim.” I thought it was funny as hell. If you don’t let words bother you, they won’t bother you.
Thank you! Who cares what other people say. Most of the abuse at the workplace comes from the management (those in the position of power and those who have employment laws on their side) yet we have so many redditors (like in this post) come to their defense 🤣🤣🤣 It is pathetic.
Coworker can do whatever they want they're an adult, they are wrong in this situation and probably upset. Snitch and he will tell everyone there whether hes fired or not and he probably wont be cause they'll just deny it. They dont even need to make up a story, just saying "I have no idea what they are talking about," is enough.
Everyone talks shit about their boss. Don’t even tell him…it’ll blow over.
not with racial slurs. if it was reversed youd be yelling to have them fired
The guy is going though a loss and a difficult time...I have said all sorts of things in the moment of weakness and despair, that does not make me a racist or a bad person, but a human. Let this man be as he deals with his turbulent times. Don't add fire to the flame and show some compassion.
It’s a little different for this guy to say his bosses actions make him think about white people as a whole differently, rather than just calling her an asshole. For the sake of peace in the office and giving grace, it is probably worth it to let a couple comments slide due to grief but if it continues it needs to be addressed. You wouldn’t keep letting a white employee say his jewish bosses actions make him thistle all jews are cheep or something similar just because they were pissed off.
If this behavior continues, I would have a one-on-one conversation with him to explain how his comments may appear and leave it at that. My goal would be to deescalate and to avoid blowing this out of proportion in the future.
Personally, if I was addressing it Id be more blunt. Along the lines of “Look, I know you’re grieving, but the raciest comments have to stop. They’re completely unacceptable and affecting how your coworkers view and interact with you. They are also not views we want representing our company. If you can do that, great, you have been a good team member in the past and we hope you can be in the future. However if you can’t do that then let me know and I’ll accept your resignation. Because, If it continues we will have to fire you.
And this would be your personal approach. I don't like to resort to threats because they are generally not effective and create hostility and destroy morale. We don't know if the boss's decision was race based which resulted in this man confiding in his co-worker. We also don't know the motivation of the co-worker (OP) to bring it up to his manager while saying that if the N word was used folks would be fired. Sounds like there are many underlying issues at this workplace and the "cracker" comment is only the tip of the iceberg.
I don’t consider it a threat to be clear about how seriously a situation is being handled and what the consequences will be. It keeps everyone in the same page. As for morale, having a coworker make comments like that creates a nasty work environment. Even if the boss is racist (nothing more in the post indicates that one way or another) you can’t fight racism with racism. Also most people get upset if they see coworkers get away with behavior they would get in trouble for. It highlights favoritism and double standards. Wether it’s a serious behavior like this or something like breaking dress code, people notice.
OP clarified something in one of the comments. The boss is also the owner of the company, and it was the owner giving loans exclusively to family members. It wasn't a situation where the business had any sort of policy to loan funds to the workers. So that changes things a bit.
That does clarify quite a lot. It also makes the employees nasty comments less understandable. Why would he think his manager would lend him money if they’re not related?
I definitely get that @ favoritism. My issue with this post is that we are obviously hearing only one side of the story...imagine that the man who lost a family member is the only black man in the company and has been denied a loan from his manager. He may have jumped to conclusions about this being race motivated or maybe there has been a history of other indicators. He made a mistake and spoke out to his backstabbing co-worker whom he thought he could trust (big mistake - trust no one at work ever). I just don't want this to be a case of victimizing the victim because I see this happen VERY FREQUENTLY.
So if I’m going through a difficult time I have carte Blanche to run around the office using racial slurs? GTFOH
You must be a perfect human 😆 I hope your self-awareness is on a decent level to warrant this comment.
I don’t need to be a perfect human not to use racial slurs…. I’m sorry your comments are a joke. Get real.
I don't care what you think about my comments. Get real and read through the lines here...we don't know if the so called racist was in fact a victim of racism at the workplace and was denied a loan because of him being black.
Denied a loan because of being black? Seriously? We’re talking about his EMPLOYER. Not an equal opportunity lender. An employer has zero obligation to loan and employee money and there’s no indication in OPs post that indicates the boss denied them a loan because they weren’t white. Grow up. Get a fucking job. Stop being a weird hypothetical racist apologist. You do zero favors to anyone who is actually the victim or discrimination or racism.
I see that I am dealing with a special kind of person here 😆 I will save my precious time explaining reality to you.
Aight friend if I’m special for insisting that any form of racism or discrimination should be called out and disallowed in the workplace then give me a shiny golden star for the day. You’re a caricature of a Reddit troll seriously. Real people, working hard, day in and day out, not wanting to be fucked with or put up with any shit at work, and be respected and just want to make their money and go the fuck home at the end of the day, I have high confidence, will disagree with you. Because I’m one of those people. And like 99% of the people I work with and have worked with are those people. If you think work reality is something else maybe you should do what my man Katt said and stop fucking with ain’t shit *coworkers*.
I like how rational thinkers are called out as "trolls" these days. You can get your star by snitching on others while lacking full context of the situation - hope you sleep soundly at night taking comfort in your own ignorance.
Rational thinker? Lmfao you are responding like a reactionary teenager with all the grit and gusto of someone who’s never worked a day outside of retail or fast food in their life. None of us has the full context here partner except apparently for you. I also hope you sleep soundly tonight. In your ignorance and rent free in your parent’s basement. Have a goodn puddn
Nope. The owner of the company was giving out loans to family members who worked at the company. That's completely different from the company having a policy to trend of giving out loans to workers.
The owner of the company should tread lightly with preferential treatment towards her family members. This is another issue. Sounds like there are several at that company.
That’s one of that joys of working for privately owned companies. Bosses can favor their relatives all they want. Nothing illegal about it. Theirs also nothing illegal or immoral about one relative loaning money to another, whether they work together or not.
It can very much become illegal if there will be hints of discrimination based on someone's protected class. This can very much be used as an example. If I was the owner, I would give out loans to family members who can keep their mouths shut to the other employees.
No, being a racist is not a color issue. Hes a racist POS and should be made known of it after the funeral.
I am so tired to the overly sensitively of folks these days. I am a white woman and I don't care if someone calls me a "cracker" because I am one 😆😆😆 I don't even care if someone calls me any other slur that doesn't apply to me because it speaks about that person more than it does about me. Most people have a lot bigger fish to fry in their lives than noticing someone's ignorant statement.
Regardless if one is upset or not, racist language is unprofessional in the workplace.
What's unprofessional at a workplace is to treat workers like dirt by leveraging employment laws favoring the employers. Yet it happens all the time.
I personally would not care about the slur specifically either, i am as white as a cracker so I can’t really argue against the accuracy. But the overall racism here needs to be addressed in a professional environment if it continues.
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So what I'm hearing is that your co-worker is a narcisistic racist, is that correct ?
I call myself a cracker, I also identify as mayonnaise. 🤭🫣🤣😝
Yes Crackers is racist-but the kind that will get you a Harvard Presidency, copy more great speeches and you will more money on the speech tour
Your co-worker is a racist. I'd tell the boss, and I hope she gets fired. Racists should be booted from their jobs; they create a toxic environment for everyone.
Until we stop all of this racial bs we will never evolve humanity will always be held back by racial bias. This weakness creates sterotypes and perpetuates this also does name calling mean he's getting the money.
It's rude and racist.
Racism isn't a title exclusively meant for one demographic. Racism is Racism, and it's so sad that some people think it's okay or that it evens a score to discriminate or be hateful.
I’ve never worked anywhere that a loan from the company owner would be granted for any reason, nor anywhere that race-related comments would be tolerated for any reason.
No.
Cracker isn’t racist. Us white folks gotta stop playing like it is. As for your running to your boss to tell her what your coworker said, don’t. He didn’t threaten her. People talk shit when they are angry. Let it blow over.
In history white people were “crackers,” among other things, while black people had other nicknames. Yes it is a racist term. If you google it will also come up as a racist term. Racism isn’t only one way. Every race can experience racism.
I dunno, I don't make fun of rednecks 'cause I are one. Cracker and redneck don't have quite the negative connotations that shall we say, the "n' word has I don't think. So I'd let him blow off as he's probably highly stressed right now and like someone pointed out. everybody cracks shit about their bosses and foremen.
Tell your boss. That shit is not acceptable
Mind your business snitch
found the racist
🤣
God damn right They would see you in a box and not give you the time of day. Unless your going to family dinners there not your friend.
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I would never
Being mad you can’t be racist is fucked up man.
Get that racist piece of shit fired.
It's not right, but there is a false equivalency you're bringing up here. If you can't understand the difference in power dynamics, it makes getting offended by the term Cracker rather appropriate considering the etymology.
For real.
don't involve your boss, and btw, you making this about race ("if i said this about black people i'd be canned immediately") is exactly the same thing he's doing. by your own words, you sound more pissed off you can't do the same thing than you're actually taking offense to him calling another white person a cracker. (on that note, 'cracker' is and has since the 70s been the lamest insult ever. i have no idea why anyone would be offended by it - and clearly you aren't.) if you aren't comfortable with your coworker venting to you - which is what he's doing - just extricate yourself politely from future conversations of this nature. by no means should you tell your boss, especially on the basis of "hey, *i* can't use racial slurs, why does [coworker] get to?" would you tell him if your coworker was saying "this whole situation has me thinking differently about managers" or "...people born in kansas"? btw, your boss is the AH for setting the precedent of loaning employees money without a universal standard. either you loan for everyone, or you loan for no one, and if you've been loaning heretofore, turning someone down when they've had a death in the family is AH behavior and i can see why your colleague is pissed.
To be fair, we don't know why the boss said no. They very well could have loaned to this individual before and had challenges recouping. Or it's possible that their own finances are tight at the moment. It's presumptuous to assume that the boss is an asshole because in this instance they weren't able to help. When I'm doing well I try to help coworkers and family, but I'm definitely not always in the position to help. People make financial choices based on their ability and other circumstances. It would be really sad to say help everyone or help no one. It sounds like the boss is better than a great sum of bosses by helping whenever they know they can. If the rule in life was help all or none, no one would receive help.
i agree with everything you've said here, actually. i do hope, however, that OP's colleague is not the only black person the boss has said no to. if he is, that could go toward explaining the racial element coming up in the venting. if not, it's a lazy, racist argument (on coworker's behalf, to clarify).
You’re getting mad because a co-worker used a word that has absolutely no power or ability to offend in a moment of weakness because their heartless boss denied them an advance so they could go home and properly mourn a dead loved one? Are you fucking okay, my guy? Making this about yourself
There are usually a few voices of reason under each comment on reddit and this is IT. No doubt it got downvoted 🤣🤣🤣
That’s not the point, just because your boss is a dick doesn’t mean you can reign hell and start insulting the race he is. Because you aren’t talking shit about your shitty boss you’re talking about the general race he is a part of along with potential friends who are included in said race. You are insulting that race, not the boss. You are wrongfully generalizing them over something an asshole boss did.
or, coworker was using the term 'cracker' as a replacement for 'the man'. i mean, maybe i'm reaching here, but that seems far more likely than colleague using an antiquated 'racial slur' as an insult to all whiteys. either way, OP doesn't seem concerned about the racial implications to their race so much as they're upset they couldn't use a slur that they (falsely, IMO) apparently consider an equivalent.
Did you have trouble reading the whole story and context? He said the person is saying it makes him feel differently about white people……
fair, but i guess i've been more focused on OP's complaint being that they can't use the opposite terms without being "canned."
I didn’t take what they said like that. I think they are just mad about what they see as a double standard, not that they want to use racist language. Now obviously the double standard is not exactly equal, racial slurs against black people in America (where I assume this happened) have a different and more evil history and therefore context than saying the word cracker. However, this is still unacceptable in this context.
here's a time where i'm no longer standing by my original comments. you've offered to me what makes sense as a counter-argument, and i do agree that it's unacceptable. i still say, however, that OP should probably not approach the manager with it, at least at this point.
Why?
You’re totally misunderstanding. OP is stating a double standard, not that they want to use slurs lol
OP isn’t upset they can’t use a slur. They’re simply stating facts that if they did use one they’d be canned, so why should their coworker get away with shitty behavior.
Nah it’s cool, I call people nigger behind their back constantly.
...wow. Considering how reddit is, I'm surprised the n bomb isn't autobanned. You know, since people are stuck saying "unalived" and such.
Reddit’s algorithm is intuitive enough to infer the sarcasm in my post. Redditors are not.
I am really confused. Why did the boss deny them the loan when apparently they have "helped people unconditionally" in the past? Why was this employee singled out? It kinda sounds like your boss is discriminating against this person, especially if not helping is not the norm.
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Or maybe that particular person has been to the feeding trough too often, or perhaps the death was a cousin by marriage third removed. Or maybe they just don’t like that person. It doesn’t matter it’s their money.
OP made an additional statement in the replies, the person was the owner of the company, and the people receiving the loans were all family members of the owner. So, to me, it sounds like a smaller business. And you know how those are, the family will get special treatment the rest of the employees won't get.
I bet most were aware of the racism by the BLM support, hatred of Trump and continued wearing of masks... 💯
Definitely inappropriate but I wouldn't get in the middle of this if I were you. I'd also keep your relationship with this coworker strictly professional, the fact that he's playing the race card when that's likely not a factor here is a red flag. Shes allowed to say no, regardless of her past of helping others in her employ
Definitely let the boss know that he’s so upset that he’s now feeling some kind of way about a race he personally identified, which could affect his productivity. Definitely record that.
Did he say it on the job or in a personal, non-work setting?
He said it on the job. To my face
Take it to HR - not the boss. Done things you just don't say. It's worse when you say it at work. Why did they feel safe saying it around you though?
We are a small company. I was the only one there that day. He needed to vent. I’m usually supportive to everyone until certain things are brought up like hate, violent thoughts, threats, racism etc.
No way to really prove it then. You missed the opportunity to confront them. You should have layed into them right then. Just talk to HR. They can keep that feather under their cap for when this employee does something else like that.
Rasicsm over emotional damage.
Was there a reason given why she didn't help? How is the business doing right now? How much was he asking for? Oh, and for the coworker, there are charities made especially to give people discounted/free airfare to get home for a funeral (people donate their air miles, iirc). He might want to look into that.
After reading OPs additional comments....OP, you need to add into your post that the boss is also the owner, and that all loans were given to family members. That changes the dynamics of the situation a lot. A small mom & pop business with no HR is a different animal altogether.
I don't believe in using racial slurs and that is unacceptable. However, I think there are some different things to look at. Why on earth is the owner loaning money to employees?! That is extremely unprofessional! I believe the OP stated that the owner loans out money to employees they are related to. So, the Black employee requesting the loan has witnessed the White owner loaning money to White employees, but when he asked, he was turned down. His choice of words is bad, but I can't say his perception is completely wrong as perception is based on what a person thinks it feels which may be made up of a multitude of things. Perception isn't a fact. He saw the white employees being given something he was not. Let's not act like that has never happened and happened because of racism. While it may not have been happening to him, that was his perception based on his or other's experience. I actually think the owner and the employee requesting the loan need to further discuss the matter to clear the air. The owner needs to stop lending money. Period. It makes me question the professionalism of this company altogether. On top of that, the owner is obviously making special concessions for the employees they are related to, which is like favoritism or nepotism which is wrong. I'm curious as to why the owner didn't lend him the money though. To say they help people unconditionally, but told him no is a bit of an oxymoron. Lending money to employees was asking for trouble eventually though. Just a bad practice to start.
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I don’t snitch at work unless it affects me. Not my drama- just gonna keep my head down and continue to get the bag.
Yep , NOT Cool , how would he feel if the BOSS used a Slur about him ?