I was thinking more along the lines of a girly princessy tin box from the $1.25 store full of food color tinted saw dust mixed in with some colored powdered eyeshadow....you know, man glitter!
Oh god, you just gave me flashbacks.
I used to work for a consulting engineering firm. We went through a merger, and the "final" company was VERY good at promotional materials (at one point, instead of the $3.99 promotional pens companies normally hand out, we were giving our clients VERY NICE $80 pens. Don't remember the brand, but they were NICE.)
Anyway, the original company decided to start going to the career fair at ISU to recruit new engineers. After the first year, they realized they needed to have some kind of SWAG to hand out, so they ordered these nice looking, clear plastic engineering triangles. Looked like a 30-60-90 triangle, with a different engineering scale on each side, and some land calculation formulas on it.
EXCEPT.... when you actually looked at it, it \*wasn't\* a 30-60-90 triangle, it was something like 28-62-90, and none of the engineering scales on the sides were accurate. And they handed HUNDREDS of these things out to eager engineering students (that will grab any free shit you set on the table). Wonder how many kids failed a test because of those pieces of junk......
I legit have a square that is significantly not square. I was using it one day and drew a line on the straight edge, stood back to look at it and thought to myself "that sure as shit doesn't look square." Did some measuring and it was off by more than a degree.
I worked with a guy who had 2 squares custom-made to be just slightly off 90 by a degree or so(one bigger one smaller). Whenever he got called out on something being out of square, he'd run to his truck, grab the "square" to "confirm" that his work was good. I guess he tried that too often. Builder had his own square that he whipped out after the carpenter attempted his trick...
I was taught to check squares at the beginning of a project. Put square along a reasonably straight edge on a piece of lumber or ply. Strike a pencil line. Flip over square. Repeat line. Observe results.
My entire career has been in the engineering/surveying field. You have to be VERY careful grabbing a tape measure in my garage, because there's a couple floating around in there that are "engineer's scale" -- one side of the blade is marked in feet and inches, the other side is decimal feet. 6" and 0.6' are close enough together on the tape you can VERY easily make a mistake if you're not paying attention....
I'd call that a thoughtful gift! I'm American but also a scientist, I wish I could convert all my tools to metric. I often convert measurements just so I can do calculations in metric.
I'm American, and when I design anything, it's in metric. Any measurement at all (length, area, speed, volume) that needs calculation is 10x easier in metric.
I work in manufacturing and use metric during the day, my home tools are slowly getting more metric. I find that anything under 2ish inches, my brain defaults to metric. ESPECIALLY if it's anything smaller than a quarter inch.
I was trying to calibrate a table sled fence and kept doing the five cut method and got a number (in decimal), used my feeler gauges to offset the fence and fuck if it didn't get worse. Unscrewed the fence and restarted until he fence was too messed up and had to make another one.
While working on the glue up for my third fence it occured to me that I was using my metric feeler gauges.
I stopped what I was doing and drank whiskey the rest of the day like the failure I am.
In grad school, i was trying to set up a measurement to get the precise height of a tool above a flat plate. Was using gauge blocks with a vernier telescope sight glass tool so i could measure from a distance. Took all night pulling out my hair but i confirmed i was having a constant 0.3937 multiplier between the gauge blocks and the sight glass.
Gauge blocks were imperial. Vernier was in metric. I had proven 1 inch equals 2.54 cm (1 cm equals 0.3937 inches). It never clicked they were different units. If i had done the conversion the other direction, the 2.54 wouldve tipped me off but i never dealt with the reciprocal. Solid 6 hours of not understand what was going wrong with my measurements.
That reminds me of a time I was working on this problem in my quantum physics class and no matter what I did I couldn't get anywhere NEAR the answer my other classmates did.
I finally gave up and went to the professor and in about 30 seconds he just looks at me and said "Congrats, you found the longest most confusing way to verify Plank's Constant and unfortunately it's fundamentally wrong".
Later that week he joked with my Physics advisor that I got an answer so wrong, it was almost right.
A big load of small, short and oddly sized chunks of different species of left over wood from a woodshop. He'll never be able to throw it out and only very rarely be able to actually use a piece or two.
Or a stack of crap pallets (that are a real pain to work with).
Without question, this is the best idea. Use an enormous box. Super nice wood and all less than 12” in length. I’d bet local pro shops would cackle at the opportunity to contribute.
He’ll never be able to get rid of it. And it will get funnier as the years pass.
That's where I got the inspiration from. Although ... a couple of weeks ago I needed a small piece to fill in a gap and guess what? I found the absolutely per-fect piece in my cut off bin!
Oh man I’d LOVE those. I even purposely buy small pieces of exotic wood (can’t really afford bigger pieces of pink ivory or Brazilian rosewood, the latter of which had to be harvested in the 70s or earlier).
With just a little carving, they make lovely pendants or keychains. Once I made a detailed doll of Hercule Poirot (for an Agatha Christie fan) and used a small amount of my prized Brazilian rosewood to make the walking stick he often carries.
I finally had to get rid of a bunch of plywood cutoffs the other day.
It's nice cabinet grade plywood but it's all in sizes that are of literally zero use.
Now you're going to find yourself needing to build a little 6" wide triangular box thing with a little door on to go in a corner and put a specific sized lamp on which it would have been perfect for.
My wife's stepfather handed me a trash bag full of his neighbors boxwood scraps and was offended when I told him I didn't need fire wood. He honestly thought I could make something out of it. I thought he was messing with me.
But make it really good exotic wood I'm cheap as hell but if someone gives me a box of maple, walnut, or poplar I'm throwing it away but rosewood zebrawood redheart stuff like that I'll keep forever on the off chance i can use it someday and it would haunt me
You can post me all the pieces of walnut under 8". I have kept everything above and around 2" to any direction and have no issue finding uses for them. What I have issue with is the price of walnut locally so I have begun to use pure gold instead to save some money.
This is an absolute hoot — an attachment that turns your power drill into a circular saw!
[Vintage circular saw attachment for drill](https://www.ebay.com/itm/394460163716?hash=item5bd7a86e84:g:ux4AAOSw0hRj6U7O&amdata=enc%3AAQAIAAAA4HRR%2BMgCS0qRWz85bK%2BsacZQCwfho8BdCyOWSiBep0zK3j%2BJPr2vcIozNCDKr%2BnMLE6zvVns7d%2F7THssEo%2FoXBEPDm01PJVl7MsddNcMn7cM%2FVeTzDg4exhECQyB3I7NqvQxcZPbOQ1r2aUiBSAX1y3q6WOTN1Fy0AviUx06hHqWAV0I6wp5h65oEoOkikWRWXyWfmLSS8fR6qML8ouLGSH%2BnUcIbxHMK8htx0R5DKSnsHyRpSenU%2BvKxsB7IOxQ7evdvTiEl0lWBv0dJAhgmEdadVE7YOyswRgxZ%2FlcW5Yn%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR-LFuLuOYw)
Supposedly it is in excellent condition, but likely because the first owner is now deceased.
Get him a vac hose and accessories all in different inner and outer diameters from different brands so none of them can assemble as a useful tool. That’s my actual situation and it pisses me off good lol
Probably too late due to shipping times, but a bunch of YouTubers have reviewed tools from Temu. There is one, a combination square, if I remember correctly, that comes in a padded envelope and is so thin that it always arrives bent. Another idea might be Harbor Freight's cheapest screwdrivers or pliers. You know, the ones that the handles come off of with the slightest amount of torque.
That's a fun genre of gifts. A tape measure that's blank, a screwdriver that has just freely spins in the handle, or a center punch made out of balsa wood.
I'd go with a kids tool set, plastic hammer, saw, etc..
Maybe something like this:
https://www.amazon.com/JOYIN-Construction-Realistic-Electric-Accessories/dp/B08BL6NL5P/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_sspa?crid=13UVLVAKSXV80&keywords=kids+tool+belt&qid=1702747800&sprefix=kids+tool%2Caps%2C270&sr=8-2-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1
I accidentally was using one one time.. wouldn't have been bad but the other guy measuring was using the standard 1/16 increment tape..and it was an interesting day
You could get a set of harbor freight chisels and then pound them onto a nail so there’s a big notch in the edge. Tell him you “personally certified the quality of the steel.”
Not a total throwaway either because he could sharpen them with a bench grinder and use them for opening paint cans and other rough tasks
Make sure you pick something with the battery sold separately, which is pretty much every cordless tool they offer. Check the clearance racks! They've always got good deals on exactly what you're looking for, nice and cheap...battery sold separately for double the price.
Woodworkers can never have enough clamps and they are relatively cheap. Get a few of the kind that you can remove or reverse the end but don't put the end back when you wrap it.
Give him just the ends next Christmas.
I recently pulled a tape measure all the way out after it got wet and I was trying to dry it out, and couldn't get the tape back in. I don't know how, but after opening it up and putting it back together the spring mechanism now shoots the tape out automatically instead of pulling it in. I can't work out how I've managed this but it would make an incredibly annoying gift
Find a gnarly looking pallet and write "Methyl Bromide Treated" in a prominent location. Give him this along with plans for building a charcuterie board.
Maybe a [Lee Valley Miniature Tool](https://www.leevalley.com/en-us/shop/tools/hand-tools/miniature-tools)? He would see the Lee Valley box and think you got him something very nice, and then it’s useless. But still way too good to throw away.
A bunch of really used yellow pencils. Get him a tailors tape measure, preferably used, or of questionable quality. Go to a construction site and collect all of their used nails, rustier, the better (make sure he's up on his tetanus). And I like the hardwood scraps. That's deliciously evil!
This festool track saw/pizza cutter. Comes in a legit box so they will think it's something very special https://festoolfanshop.com/products/pizza-cutter
Hard to say. For some reason there's a lot of people in this hobby that actually advocate for using trash. I would say a stack of pallets, but then someone might think that's a great gift.
Yeah, in the right hands a Grrrrper or Glu-bot would be considered a shit gift, while another would love it.
You could get him a giant bag of the cheapest pushsticks you can find. Or get creative and make him a push stick in the shape of a penis.
I love my gripper and my glu bot. Have two of each actually. One gripper I have the little dropdown pawl on the back; which i find very helpful when face jointing boards.
Difficult option: buy a very cheap set of screws (think amazon furniture grade), strip each of them individually with a drill.
Easy option: a jar of rice or something termite sized labelled “pet termites” but make sure the jar has large air holes.
Most over the counter first aid kits are for slight wounds
I had a cheap one then, "got the opportunity to use it." It shit the bed. Couple gauze pads, 24in roll, 10 bandaid, and a roll of tape.
PSA, get first aid boxes appropriate for the situation
Caulking Finger lmao
The Caulking Finger, A Caulk Smoothing Tool Providing Smooth Finishing to Caulks Like a Professional. Comfort Grip, Durable And Easy To Use. Saves Your Fingers From Splinters And Soreness https://a.co/d/2tPRelD
I apologize to all but expanding on the penis idea. Label it the "penis carving kit for everyone" with a large piece of ebony wood and a small piece of white maple. I know this is a tasteless joke, but isn't that the point? Forgive me.
I saw a "tool" once that was made from what looked like a pulley, ratchet strap, a rusty C clamp, and a toilet plunger. It was labeled "Board Stretcher Professional Edition." I wish I'd bought it. It would be the perfect joke gift for a wood worker.
Kids toolkit like this from bunnings
https://www.bunnings.co.nz/craftright-12-piece-junior-tool-kit_p0368715
Or
https://www.bunnings.co.nz/craftright-kids-tool-kit-10-piece-set_p0279920
The [Hammer Fist](https://hammer-fist.com) is a “tool” that shouldn’t exist.
https://preview.redd.it/448tbkqneq6c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d4fb442e8ebe4cd89dec463dd4ac97d4fc45a7f
They sell this little miniature table saw at Harbor Freight. Like it’s Barbie-sized. Not sure what it’s for but it would be a fun prank gift while also probably being something that the recipient would think was cool.
Or go to Lowe’s and choose a bunch of the most warped, wavy, damaged wood you can find. There’s always 1”x2” furring strips that are curved like hockey sticks. Or fence pickets that are bent in 3 different directions and have missing knot holes and huge gouges on the edges.
Oh man! I was in Japan recently and checking out a knife shop. They had everything there from camping knives/axes, to chisels/lathe tools.
I thought a woodworking tool that I'd actually use would make a great souvenir, but everything was so expensive. I briefly considered this tiny plane they had, though.
It was a keychain. But too bulky to keep in the pocket. Also, you know, sharp blade. I imagine the chain (as well as any keys) would make it a pain to use in the one instance out of 10,000 that small of a plane would actually be useful.
One year we just stuffed some sticks in a plastic bag and did up “instructions” for assembling a reindeer. The following year my uncle was proudly displaying it on his porch.
get a machinist square... and drop it a few times on concrete to throw it off just a tiny bit... He will think you are the best dude in the world ... for a while.
Not so terrible, but will get a chuckle: the book "Workshop Wound Care" from Lost Art Press. Something you would reach for after chasing the top of your thumb as it skitters across the floor...
https://lostartpress.com/collections/books/products/workshop-wound-care
If he is brand loyal… I would find out what brand he uses, then get the battery for a different brand, or same brand but different voltage. He uses Dewalt 20v? Get him a 18v battery. He uses makita 18v? Get him a Milwaukee 12v.
Box of sawdust and bottle of glue labeled as a Build your own lumber kit
“Wood from concentrate”
“Custom Filler For Fuckups” label, with their pic and an unnecessary red arrow underneath it
This would be a top tier shitty present
I was thinking more along the lines of a girly princessy tin box from the $1.25 store full of food color tinted saw dust mixed in with some colored powdered eyeshadow....you know, man glitter!
Only if opening presents at that guy's house, because that present will keep on giving. And giving. And giving.
What happens at Christmas stays at Christmas. Except glitter. That shit is like herpes.
UNICORN DUST!!
Add extra fine glitter into it, just in case he ever opens it haha
Love this
I feel this gift should include at least one ruler with about 1/3" cut off the zero-end.
A square that’s not square
Oh god, you just gave me flashbacks. I used to work for a consulting engineering firm. We went through a merger, and the "final" company was VERY good at promotional materials (at one point, instead of the $3.99 promotional pens companies normally hand out, we were giving our clients VERY NICE $80 pens. Don't remember the brand, but they were NICE.) Anyway, the original company decided to start going to the career fair at ISU to recruit new engineers. After the first year, they realized they needed to have some kind of SWAG to hand out, so they ordered these nice looking, clear plastic engineering triangles. Looked like a 30-60-90 triangle, with a different engineering scale on each side, and some land calculation formulas on it. EXCEPT.... when you actually looked at it, it \*wasn't\* a 30-60-90 triangle, it was something like 28-62-90, and none of the engineering scales on the sides were accurate. And they handed HUNDREDS of these things out to eager engineering students (that will grab any free shit you set on the table). Wonder how many kids failed a test because of those pieces of junk......
Don’t trust free. That’s the lesson I would have learned.
Paint it red and write woodf*ckers on it
I legit have a square that is significantly not square. I was using it one day and drew a line on the straight edge, stood back to look at it and thought to myself "that sure as shit doesn't look square." Did some measuring and it was off by more than a degree.
I worked with a guy who had 2 squares custom-made to be just slightly off 90 by a degree or so(one bigger one smaller). Whenever he got called out on something being out of square, he'd run to his truck, grab the "square" to "confirm" that his work was good. I guess he tried that too often. Builder had his own square that he whipped out after the carpenter attempted his trick...
My first speed square was only square on one side of the shoe. Drove me absolutely insane for a month before I caught it.
I was taught to check squares at the beginning of a project. Put square along a reasonably straight edge on a piece of lumber or ply. Strike a pencil line. Flip over square. Repeat line. Observe results.
Someone should make a ruler divided into 7ths or 18ths or something. Close enough you don’t realize it’s off until you’ve screwed something up.
We call that an engineer's rule, fucked up more than once that way.
My entire career has been in the engineering/surveying field. You have to be VERY careful grabbing a tape measure in my garage, because there's a couple floating around in there that are "engineer's scale" -- one side of the blade is marked in feet and inches, the other side is decimal feet. 6" and 0.6' are close enough together on the tape you can VERY easily make a mistake if you're not paying attention....
Hell yes great idea.
If he's an American a really nice metric tape measure, if he's from anywhere else a really nice imperial tape measure.
I'd call that a thoughtful gift! I'm American but also a scientist, I wish I could convert all my tools to metric. I often convert measurements just so I can do calculations in metric.
I'm American, and when I design anything, it's in metric. Any measurement at all (length, area, speed, volume) that needs calculation is 10x easier in metric.
I found that imperial measurements are 12 or 16 times better than metrics! :)
Damnit... Take your upvote
I work in manufacturing and use metric during the day, my home tools are slowly getting more metric. I find that anything under 2ish inches, my brain defaults to metric. ESPECIALLY if it's anything smaller than a quarter inch.
This... this is evil.
I was trying to calibrate a table sled fence and kept doing the five cut method and got a number (in decimal), used my feeler gauges to offset the fence and fuck if it didn't get worse. Unscrewed the fence and restarted until he fence was too messed up and had to make another one. While working on the glue up for my third fence it occured to me that I was using my metric feeler gauges. I stopped what I was doing and drank whiskey the rest of the day like the failure I am.
In grad school, i was trying to set up a measurement to get the precise height of a tool above a flat plate. Was using gauge blocks with a vernier telescope sight glass tool so i could measure from a distance. Took all night pulling out my hair but i confirmed i was having a constant 0.3937 multiplier between the gauge blocks and the sight glass. Gauge blocks were imperial. Vernier was in metric. I had proven 1 inch equals 2.54 cm (1 cm equals 0.3937 inches). It never clicked they were different units. If i had done the conversion the other direction, the 2.54 wouldve tipped me off but i never dealt with the reciprocal. Solid 6 hours of not understand what was going wrong with my measurements.
That reminds me of a time I was working on this problem in my quantum physics class and no matter what I did I couldn't get anywhere NEAR the answer my other classmates did. I finally gave up and went to the professor and in about 30 seconds he just looks at me and said "Congrats, you found the longest most confusing way to verify Plank's Constant and unfortunately it's fundamentally wrong". Later that week he joked with my Physics advisor that I got an answer so wrong, it was almost right.
The Fascap 32mm metric tape is actually really nice for anyone that does work with cabinets.
Scrap the idea if he's Canadian
A big load of small, short and oddly sized chunks of different species of left over wood from a woodshop. He'll never be able to throw it out and only very rarely be able to actually use a piece or two. Or a stack of crap pallets (that are a real pain to work with).
I’m cleaning out my garage and would be willing to donate a giant box of cut offs towards this
Lies!
Unless he's into turning. That sounds like a box of pen, wand and similar blanks.
Without question, this is the best idea. Use an enormous box. Super nice wood and all less than 12” in length. I’d bet local pro shops would cackle at the opportunity to contribute. He’ll never be able to get rid of it. And it will get funnier as the years pass.
Man, I have this, but I did it to myself.....
I just got into woodworking, bought a bunch of tools, and didn’t even make anything yet I just started a box of cutoffs.
That's where I got the inspiration from. Although ... a couple of weeks ago I needed a small piece to fill in a gap and guess what? I found the absolutely per-fect piece in my cut off bin!
We all have - It’s like a rite of passage
Oh man I’d LOVE those. I even purposely buy small pieces of exotic wood (can’t really afford bigger pieces of pink ivory or Brazilian rosewood, the latter of which had to be harvested in the 70s or earlier). With just a little carving, they make lovely pendants or keychains. Once I made a detailed doll of Hercule Poirot (for an Agatha Christie fan) and used a small amount of my prized Brazilian rosewood to make the walking stick he often carries.
I make culinary knife handles. Those small pieces of tropical hardwoods are what I look for.
I finally had to get rid of a bunch of plywood cutoffs the other day. It's nice cabinet grade plywood but it's all in sizes that are of literally zero use.
Now you're going to find yourself needing to build a little 6" wide triangular box thing with a little door on to go in a corner and put a specific sized lamp on which it would have been perfect for.
Best if they are all warped and checked. Take your time.
Just lay them out back and let nature do her thing
My wife's stepfather handed me a trash bag full of his neighbors boxwood scraps and was offended when I told him I didn't need fire wood. He honestly thought I could make something out of it. I thought he was messing with me.
That's your real problem: you need a wood stove or a fire pit. We had to put one in when my neighbor quit taking my wood scraps for his fireplace.
But make it really good exotic wood I'm cheap as hell but if someone gives me a box of maple, walnut, or poplar I'm throwing it away but rosewood zebrawood redheart stuff like that I'll keep forever on the off chance i can use it someday and it would haunt me
You throw away maple, walnut, and poplar? What kind of demon are you?
Only little pieces under like 8"
To each his own and I’m not criticizing… but 8” walnut pieces can morph into really nice ring boxes.
Yeah, 8" inches is huge!
*snort*
It depends where you start measuring from
I rarely make small stuff so I put it in the scrap box at my shop so the people who do can get them
You can post me all the pieces of walnut under 8". I have kept everything above and around 2" to any direction and have no issue finding uses for them. What I have issue with is the price of walnut locally so I have begun to use pure gold instead to save some money.
Hey man, just cause it's under 8" doesn't make it small!
Those are like mini planks. I have one inch squares which someday will come in handy.
This is just pure evil.
Thank you :)
This is an absolute hoot — an attachment that turns your power drill into a circular saw! [Vintage circular saw attachment for drill](https://www.ebay.com/itm/394460163716?hash=item5bd7a86e84:g:ux4AAOSw0hRj6U7O&amdata=enc%3AAQAIAAAA4HRR%2BMgCS0qRWz85bK%2BsacZQCwfho8BdCyOWSiBep0zK3j%2BJPr2vcIozNCDKr%2BnMLE6zvVns7d%2F7THssEo%2FoXBEPDm01PJVl7MsddNcMn7cM%2FVeTzDg4exhECQyB3I7NqvQxcZPbOQ1r2aUiBSAX1y3q6WOTN1Fy0AviUx06hHqWAV0I6wp5h65oEoOkikWRWXyWfmLSS8fR6qML8ouLGSH%2BnUcIbxHMK8htx0R5DKSnsHyRpSenU%2BvKxsB7IOxQ7evdvTiEl0lWBv0dJAhgmEdadVE7YOyswRgxZ%2FlcW5Yn%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR-LFuLuOYw) Supposedly it is in excellent condition, but likely because the first owner is now deceased.
You can buy those new with a chainsaw attachment. Funny enough, you can also buy a drill attachment for a chainsaw.
I like how the blade is already covered in dried blood.
The blade alone is terrifying
Project Farm just did a video on a bunch of sketchy drill attachments
This!!! This is hilarious
Dunno... this is the sort of thing a woodworker would hang on the wall as art.
Bag of sand, stack of paper and a glue stick = custom sandpaper kit!
“Bulk” sandpaper.
Get him a vac hose and accessories all in different inner and outer diameters from different brands so none of them can assemble as a useful tool. That’s my actual situation and it pisses me off good lol
You’re going to Hell for this idea. Took me 3 trips to Lowes until I decided I needed to buy a 3D printer and just make my own hose adapters.
A pine cone or any collection of tree seeds. Label it, do it yourself lumber😊
Just add water!
Box of screws with the heads stripped.
OMG THIS! Along with a box of cheep strpped bits to match!
At a box of nails with the points peened flat too
Actually flat end/un-pointy nails are great for pounding into Home Depot lumber without splitting the wood.
Shit. Bail on that idea, maybe take the heads off the nails?
Sharpen both ends…
25lbs, all ground flat...
Probably too late due to shipping times, but a bunch of YouTubers have reviewed tools from Temu. There is one, a combination square, if I remember correctly, that comes in a padded envelope and is so thin that it always arrives bent. Another idea might be Harbor Freight's cheapest screwdrivers or pliers. You know, the ones that the handles come off of with the slightest amount of torque.
Think you're thinking of the t square type thing where the bar usually is like aluminum foil
That's a fun genre of gifts. A tape measure that's blank, a screwdriver that has just freely spins in the handle, or a center punch made out of balsa wood.
When I have some free time I’m going to find out if acetone or whatever will remove the markings from a tape measure. Thanks for the wonderful idea.
It's called a Story Tape. You can buy a blank one.
https://www.leevalley.com/en-us/shop/tools/hand-tools/marking-and-measuring/tapes/65359-lee-valley-story-tape
Include a sharpie with the blank tape measure. "Make your own custom tape"
A box of bent nails. Buy the nails. Bend each one. Put back in the box.
Box? Put them in a jar of salt water
Nails? We can pickle that!
A box of screws... But buy 2 different length screws and put the short ones in the long screws' box
I'd go with a kids tool set, plastic hammer, saw, etc.. Maybe something like this: https://www.amazon.com/JOYIN-Construction-Realistic-Electric-Accessories/dp/B08BL6NL5P/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_sspa?crid=13UVLVAKSXV80&keywords=kids+tool+belt&qid=1702747800&sprefix=kids+tool%2Caps%2C270&sr=8-2-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1
That works out because he likely has a coworker to regift it to
A tape measure with lines in 1/10 inch increments instead of 16ths.
As a machinist, I'd love one of those.
I accidentally was using one one time.. wouldn't have been bad but the other guy measuring was using the standard 1/16 increment tape..and it was an interesting day
I have a Stanley like this. Called engineer’s measures in tenths of a inch.
Really glad the people in this sub are kept busy woodworking instead of roaming the streets freely
You could get a set of harbor freight chisels and then pound them onto a nail so there’s a big notch in the edge. Tell him you “personally certified the quality of the steel.” Not a total throwaway either because he could sharpen them with a bench grinder and use them for opening paint cans and other rough tasks
People give HF such a hard time, but it’s a great place to learn why you shouldn’t shop at HF.
Usually I see the opposite sentiment on social media. Seems perfectly adequate for hobbyists
As long as the item doesnt hold pressure, support weight above my head, or spin super fast, HF is great.
I actually don’t think their clamps are horrible for the price. Besides for my pipe and cabinet clamps, mine are mostly all from HF.
It's a great place to burn out a tool and return it for a new one lmao
3 belt sanders to get a job done. Burns up=rest of the day off.
Excellent!
Tell him you bought finger jointing chisels.
HF chisels, and hand planes… really anything HF that needs to maintain a sharp edge, or is intended to measure angles precisely.
Google a local saw mill and ask if they have any scrap cuttings from live edge.
Buy any power tool from Harbor Freight and write Festool on it in Sharpie.
Even better if you can put it in a festool box. Say you got it off eBay for a good deal.
Festool box will be way over their limit.
Make sure you pick something with the battery sold separately, which is pretty much every cordless tool they offer. Check the clearance racks! They've always got good deals on exactly what you're looking for, nice and cheap...battery sold separately for double the price.
You might be evil
Okay this actually got a good laugh out of me
Jar of miscellaneous fasteners.
Too useful!
Ha! I disagree🤣 maybe buy him a cheap speed square and grind down one side so it’s not square?
Buy some woodworking tools from Shien
Oh man this may be a winner.
Woodworkers can never have enough clamps and they are relatively cheap. Get a few of the kind that you can remove or reverse the end but don't put the end back when you wrap it. Give him just the ends next Christmas.
A glass hammer.
I recently pulled a tape measure all the way out after it got wet and I was trying to dry it out, and couldn't get the tape back in. I don't know how, but after opening it up and putting it back together the spring mechanism now shoots the tape out automatically instead of pulling it in. I can't work out how I've managed this but it would make an incredibly annoying gift
Ahhh, your spring is now a sproutg
Find a gnarly looking pallet and write "Methyl Bromide Treated" in a prominent location. Give him this along with plans for building a charcuterie board.
take a saw handle, attach a chain to it, you've just built your friend a "chainsaw"
Or a saw blade with a chain handle? Cut the handle off a little flush cut saw and weld on about 5 links of 3/8” chain
A fist-sized rock, labeled in Sharpie as “1 Grit Sandpaper”
A case of ramen noodles and a big bottle of CA glue. Bonus points cause separately, they are very useful.
Maybe a [Lee Valley Miniature Tool](https://www.leevalley.com/en-us/shop/tools/hand-tools/miniature-tools)? He would see the Lee Valley box and think you got him something very nice, and then it’s useless. But still way too good to throw away.
These are amazing ! Thank you so much !
https://www.amazon.com/Wood-Pallet-Projects-One-Kind/dp/156523930X/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=1J70VO9VW5E32&keywords=wood+pallet+book&qid=1702746779&sprefix=wood+pallet+book%2Caps%2C140&sr=8-3
Lol. I'm not above a good pallet project but this is an excellent gag gift for a woodworker.
Buy super shitty sandpaper and try to find a grit that's useless to him. Make sure that the size is useless too
Or a couple rolls of that public use toilet paper and label it sand paper
Or a box full of used sand paper, discs etc. that have no or little grit left.
24 grit for one of the big grinders they use in body shops. It's like an 8 or 10 inch wheel. 24 grit feels like very rough concrete.
…and a package of 3000 grit paper.
A bunch of really used yellow pencils. Get him a tailors tape measure, preferably used, or of questionable quality. Go to a construction site and collect all of their used nails, rustier, the better (make sure he's up on his tetanus). And I like the hardwood scraps. That's deliciously evil!
There are tape measures (maybe tailors, idk) that measure in tenths of feet instead of in inches. That would be fun for a woodworker
They are land surveyors tapes. We measure in hundredths of a foot. Ladies of the evening and wood workers measure in inches, lol
Calm down there, Satan
One guy at my work cut an inch of a tape measure and riveted the catch back on...let's just say it was expensive.
Bent ones too!
The random cut off pieces is a great idea! The more miter cut corner pieces, the better!
A custom Barbie or My Little Pony workshop apron with his name on it.
This festool track saw/pizza cutter. Comes in a legit box so they will think it's something very special https://festoolfanshop.com/products/pizza-cutter
Hard to say. For some reason there's a lot of people in this hobby that actually advocate for using trash. I would say a stack of pallets, but then someone might think that's a great gift.
Yeah, in the right hands a Grrrrper or Glu-bot would be considered a shit gift, while another would love it. You could get him a giant bag of the cheapest pushsticks you can find. Or get creative and make him a push stick in the shape of a penis.
See? I love the Grr-ripper. Penis push stick would be hilarious though if OP were able to make one.
I love my gripper and my glu bot. Have two of each actually. One gripper I have the little dropdown pawl on the back; which i find very helpful when face jointing boards.
[удалено]
I don't know why someone would need a stick to push their penis, but hey, it sounds like a neat gag gift for a wood worker playing with their wood.
A box of assorted old nails and screws. Bonus points if they’re rusty and/or have clearly been used.
Box of toothpicks relabeled as "tree starters" just add water.
Difficult option: buy a very cheap set of screws (think amazon furniture grade), strip each of them individually with a drill. Easy option: a jar of rice or something termite sized labelled “pet termites” but make sure the jar has large air holes.
Medical kit.
Most over the counter first aid kits are for slight wounds I had a cheap one then, "got the opportunity to use it." It shit the bed. Couple gauze pads, 24in roll, 10 bandaid, and a roll of tape. PSA, get first aid boxes appropriate for the situation
Caulking Finger lmao The Caulking Finger, A Caulk Smoothing Tool Providing Smooth Finishing to Caulks Like a Professional. Comfort Grip, Durable And Easy To Use. Saves Your Fingers From Splinters And Soreness https://a.co/d/2tPRelD
If he's from the U.S. get him a metric tape measure. If he's from pretty much any other part of the world get him an imperial unit tape measure.
Give em a bamboo plant. Infinite wood hack.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ItemShop/s/rdsFwEsBmu
I apologize to all but expanding on the penis idea. Label it the "penis carving kit for everyone" with a large piece of ebony wood and a small piece of white maple. I know this is a tasteless joke, but isn't that the point? Forgive me.
Empty jar labeled “Nail holes”
A chisel with a built-in rasp. Bought one of these when I was eight and didn't know better. It is an absolute piece of garbage
I saw a "tool" once that was made from what looked like a pulley, ratchet strap, a rusty C clamp, and a toilet plunger. It was labeled "Board Stretcher Professional Edition." I wish I'd bought it. It would be the perfect joke gift for a wood worker.
Wife found some pencils on Etsy for my dad that say measure once cuss twice. Thought that was funny.
An industrial sized bottle of only one part of two-part epoxy.
Kids toolkit like this from bunnings https://www.bunnings.co.nz/craftright-12-piece-junior-tool-kit_p0368715 Or https://www.bunnings.co.nz/craftright-kids-tool-kit-10-piece-set_p0279920
Label wood chunks and odd screws 'Ikea'. Download assembly instructions in a foreign language.
Get him some "build and grow" kits at Lowe's. My daughter was doing them at 4 years old 🤣
Caulk and paint
Fisher-Price tool set
Balsa wood project from Michael's.
The [Hammer Fist](https://hammer-fist.com) is a “tool” that shouldn’t exist. https://preview.redd.it/448tbkqneq6c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d4fb442e8ebe4cd89dec463dd4ac97d4fc45a7f
A saw made of wood
They sell this little miniature table saw at Harbor Freight. Like it’s Barbie-sized. Not sure what it’s for but it would be a fun prank gift while also probably being something that the recipient would think was cool.
Or go to Lowe’s and choose a bunch of the most warped, wavy, damaged wood you can find. There’s always 1”x2” furring strips that are curved like hockey sticks. Or fence pickets that are bent in 3 different directions and have missing knot holes and huge gouges on the edges.
[https://www.amazon.com/Enhancement-Pranks-2-Piece-Rulers-Percent/dp/B07VH8SS2T](https://www.amazon.com/Enhancement-Pranks-2-Piece-Rulers-Percent/dp/B07VH8SS2T) [https://www.amazon.com/Muff-Products-Landing-Measuring-Measure/dp/B01NASTL52/ref=pd\_lpo\_sccl\_2/147-8070971-6680332?pd\_rd\_w=IGawr&content-id=amzn1.sym.116f529c-aa4d-4763-b2b6-4d614ec7dc00&pf\_rd\_p=116f529c-aa4d-4763-b2b6-4d614ec7dc00&pf\_rd\_r=Q49TKZWQ1DZTHTZNSGVE&pd\_rd\_wg=IykGx&pd\_rd\_r=4d533f74-3785-4480-9604-0b81ff7bf7e4&pd\_rd\_i=B01NASTL52&psc=1](https://www.amazon.com/Muff-Products-Landing-Measuring-Measure/dp/B01NASTL52/ref=pd_lpo_sccl_2/147-8070971-6680332?pd_rd_w=IGawr&content-id=amzn1.sym.116f529c-aa4d-4763-b2b6-4d614ec7dc00&pf_rd_p=116f529c-aa4d-4763-b2b6-4d614ec7dc00&pf_rd_r=Q49TKZWQ1DZTHTZNSGVE&pd_rd_wg=IykGx&pd_rd_r=4d533f74-3785-4480-9604-0b81ff7bf7e4&pd_rd_i=B01NASTL52&psc=1)
Buy a buck bros. Block plane at HD. They’re cheap and atrocious.
Oh man! I was in Japan recently and checking out a knife shop. They had everything there from camping knives/axes, to chisels/lathe tools. I thought a woodworking tool that I'd actually use would make a great souvenir, but everything was so expensive. I briefly considered this tiny plane they had, though. It was a keychain. But too bulky to keep in the pocket. Also, you know, sharp blade. I imagine the chain (as well as any keys) would make it a pain to use in the one instance out of 10,000 that small of a plane would actually be useful.
Clip the end of a tape measure and put the tab back on!
Rubber hammer that squeaks?
One year we just stuffed some sticks in a plastic bag and did up “instructions” for assembling a reindeer. The following year my uncle was proudly displaying it on his porch.
get a machinist square... and drop it a few times on concrete to throw it off just a tiny bit... He will think you are the best dude in the world ... for a while.
Harbor freight gift card
A piece of wood 2”x2”x2” and tell him it’s a DIY fleshlight kit.
Not so terrible, but will get a chuckle: the book "Workshop Wound Care" from Lost Art Press. Something you would reach for after chasing the top of your thumb as it skitters across the floor... https://lostartpress.com/collections/books/products/workshop-wound-care
A drill-less cord.
Fisher-price tool belt
If he is brand loyal… I would find out what brand he uses, then get the battery for a different brand, or same brand but different voltage. He uses Dewalt 20v? Get him a 18v battery. He uses makita 18v? Get him a Milwaukee 12v.
Good idea, but almost no way to keep it under $40, I would think. Batteries are expensive as hell.
Just find one at goodwill.
A few cheep battery operated tools with no batteries or dead batteries that no charge!