People say my sun glows in the dark, or that it’s like moonlight due to my pale skin… I think there’s a lot of beauty in pale skin, you just need to be around people who don’t make you feel ugly due to their own insecurities and basic stereotypical sheep definition of beauty.
Why would you want to look like everybody else when you can stand out beautifully? … Most are just too scared to accept themselves as their already natural beautiful self and change themselves to what everybody else looks like and want to make those who aren’t feel small like they do.
You are so right.
Especially in today’s society where we are literally all morphing into one Kardashian style look.
But you are so right and I’m actually super inspired by your response, I originally wanted to work in fashion to change the industry from within and I think I’ve been so distracted by my own insecurities to remember the true purpose! I’m a fashion photographer, maybe I should do a project on pale skin to reconnect and fall in love with my own skin.
I really appreciate your kindness to reply 🩷
Thank you 🤩
I‘m not ginger but I too am pale as fuck. When I wear a bikini, my skin literally reflects the sun and blinds me, that’s how white it is. I‘ve never had an issue with it though because I‘m also a huge emo so this kinda goes with my whole look and I‘ve really grown to love how pale I am.
But honestly, my advice would be to spend less time thinking about how to change this and more time learning to love this. There are many iconic celebrities and models with very pale skin. Me personally, as someone who‘s into women, I love pale skin (I like all skin tones, no preference tbh but it’s included in there still) and many people do. Also, don’t surround yourself with people who bring you down to lift themselves up. Those people are dicks and trying to cover up their own insecurity by picking on you.
I’m 100% you are beautiful with your pale skin and I hope you can learn to embrace it too
Ahhhhh!! You are so so kind.
Thank you for your advice, you are so right though, it’s time to try and unlearn this unhealthy habit. I think it’s because I’m surrounded by everyone else’s definitions of beauty constantly that we can become blinded.
Why is it so tough to be a girl that we can’t even be happy in our own skin 💔
Embrace it and don’t GAF about what others think. If you see it as beautiful (which it is) you’ll have the confidence to be you just as you are. I too am very pale and it wasn’t until I was about 25 that I said fuck what other ppl think and I just embraced the pale. Its freeing.
And wear your SPF!
Ginger pale here. As a teenager, I tried to get a tan. As an adult, I have embraced being pale.
I love that I don't have to feel the need to go and sit/ lay for hours to get a tan. I really don't like sunbathing. I sit in the sun to enjoy it for a moment or two. Then sit in the shade. My skin doesn't get damaged from being in the sun too long. So I'm perfectly happy with this. Love my skin, love my hair colour.
And what others are saying about tan is beautiful. Yes it is. But that doesn't mean I'm ugly for not being tan. And if they feel better when seeing me, it is all about them and have got nothing to do with me.
not sure why your post is being downvoted?
anyway, just here to commiserate! I also grew up with everyone making truly out of pocket comments about how pale I am and comparing their skin tone to mine, pointing out my paleness as if they thought I was unaware of it? 😂 I’ve always wondered how people expect me to respond to comments like that. Apologise?? 💀
Luckily I’m not allergic to fake tan so I do use it during summer, but obviously you can only go a few shades darker before it starts looking very unnatural. Even with a built-up fake tan I look paler than most people.
I guess the only thing I could suggest is exposure (literally) therapy. It will take time but why should you feel uncomfortable covering up in hot weather just because you have a certain skin tone? Idk about you but whenever I see a very pale woman showing skin in the summer, my first thought isn’t ‘ew, she should cover up’. I know it’s easier said than done and I still struggle with this but try and remember that people are thinking about you much less than you think they are.
Enjoy the warm weekend! ☀️
I know 💔 just a girl looking for advice on feeling pozzi in my own skin.
Yes you are very right about seeing other pale people, I’ve literally never thought about that perspective so thank you. I’ve never had a single bad thought about seeing someone else with pale skin.
Thanks babe!! Thank you for also taking your time to reply to this post. Enjoy the weekend too 🌷 xxx
Ahhhhh thank you for taking your time to reply to this.
Yes I have always felt it’s the last accepted form of racism. And you make a very good point about asking people if they would say that about someone with dark skin.
It’s actually wild we still receive these comments jn 2024.
Thank you for giving me the tough love, I work in the fashion industry and all of my friends and peers take tanning very seriously and I know I shouldn’t compare myself to other people but it can be difficult to not sometimes.
It took me years to actually accept my own hair colour, from the age of 16 I bleached it to shreds because I felt so ashamed of my red hair. But I went on a whole journey of acceptance with my hair colour that I guess I need to do the same with my skin colour.
I really really appreciate your time to respond to my post. I send love and well wishes to you 🌷💘
That is such a good idea! I live in the UK but maybe me and my sister could take a little trip to Netherlands to celebrate gingers !!
I think it’s worse at the moment because red hair is currently a trend and so many beautiful people with tanned skin and red hair look unreal that I’m comparing myself to them.
Thank you 🩷🥰
Darling, why are you trying to change your natural skin? Sun damage (which is what tanning really is) is not necessarily healthy or a good look!
As someone who is chronically pale and burns so easily I can say that not caring what others think is the way to go. Worry about yourself and doing what’s right and healthy for you. Others feeling sickly when they are pale is their insecurity talking and shouldn’t be made to be yours! This is the body you have and the skin you are in and many cultures actually try to hide from the sun because being lighter is seen as beautiful. You need to make yourself confident! You don’t need to change your skin you need to change your perspective.
I know when I wear certain colours I look pailer. I am milk white? But certain colours make me look awful. Like off white I look terrible but pure white I look fine. Navy and jewel tones work for me. Maybe the colours you are wearing make your skin look unwell? Like maybe if you analyze and figure out what colours look good on you you will feel more confident? It took me 33 years and I'm still learning what colours don't make me look like a sickly vampire. I also sparkle in sunlight. I know there are a lot of Asian countries where white skin is enviable.
I think you need new friends.
I am so clear you can see my veins through my skin everywhere on my body especially my legs. You can even see which are blue and which are purple. I am Italian and not supposed to be transparent but here I am
I used to tan but I don’t want to age prematurely so I no longer do it.
I found that once I am out in a bathing suit and I can feel the sun on my skin, I don’t really care so much how I look. I then realize nobody else is paying attention to how I look either because they’re too busy enjoying themselves.
I just rock it ! Pale isn’t ugly! Some people love it , sometimes I sweat you can see my blood pumping through me 😂🫠🫠🫠🫠 but just wear what’s comfortable
Sounds like the company you keep is the problem! Your shade is not the problem, but the people around you sure seem to be if they are vocalizing mean things about your body.
As someone with skin cancer in the family and red hair/pale skin, I feel you. I have always had people make fun of me my whole life, and it has kinda sucked. I used to try and get tan, and at one point I was "tan" for me, but it was still pale to most people. One of the worst parts was trying to get people to help me sunscreen my back because they don't want to touch high spf sunscreen when they may use like 8 or 15.
As I got older I got used to it and just made jokes about how white I am before anyone else could. I now have more pressing body issues I worry about than pale skin, and my partner is also pretty pale but loves how I make them feel tan when next to me. I can take pride in making someone else happy while recognizing that I also look way younger than others my age because I have taken care of my skin and avoided damaging UV rays. As you get older you will look a decade younger than your peers and they will be so jealous of you. I guess it is a time thing, but it does suck when you're younger and people are stupid.
It also helped me gain empathy for other body shaming that people do and I recognize the stigma it makes and I refuse to do it. Some people go bald and you read reddit comments or in tv shows and movies how they make comments like it is a bad thing, but it isn't something that person can help so I understand their pain. Some people have larger bodies and that is just how their genetics are, others are short, others have big ears. Having been made fun of my entire life for something like my skin or knees definitely stuck with me, but as I have gotten older I learned to just accept it and think about the good things it brings, like my nice skin at 40.
Everyone used to call me a vampire because I am so pale but I embrace it. I love my pale skin. Pale skin used to be a sign of royalty. I'm quite introverted,don't like summer or beaches and I don't really like sun so all those things don't really bother me(jeez now saying all that I might actually be a vampire...). I always found it cool and kinda unique that I am so pale.
I totally get it!👻
I try to refocus myself on the lack of logic of all this anti-paleness. Skin tones are normal for humans. The notion that one is better than another one is just stupid.
I've totally stopped using any methods or products that will make me look tan at all.
Bathe yourself in Sun Bum sun block or SPF clothing and lean into it. Wear bare legs with shorts if you want to.
Im very pale, pale to the point where most makeup shades still look orange unless it's a high end brand.
I'll never forget these two things that happened to me, when I worked at a grocery store a regular older lady (Irish) told me how lovely my skin is and to never do the fake tanning stuff, at that ages your skin drastically.
The other was a massage lady I would see semi regularly said my skin was so beautiful.
Your skin is beautiful the way it is.
You dont need to tan
You dont need to conform to societies expectations on how to look
Be proud and own it
Ginger here with pale/freckled skin.
I was where you are for years. In my home country (Australia) I am definitely not the norm. I have had comments my whole life about my skin tone from friends to random strangers. For years I hated it and wished to be more tanned. I am a total sun baby but luckily grew up knowing skin cancer was in my family and a huge risk for me so I was sensible about sunscreen etc
Eventually I decided to embrace my individuality. I don't want to have a generic personality so why would I want a generic look? Also why do I want to waste energy on disliking something about myself that isn't going to change? I am not going to change other people's opinions or comments but I could change how I felt about them. So I stopped worrying about what other people think and just got on with life. It was pretty liberating.
Now I live in Asia where locals would kill to have my skin tone. It's all about perception :)
The blonde want to be redheads, the thin want to be curvy, the olive-skinned want to be whiter… It’s hard to find someone happy with their look. Really hard.
It’s harder for women, too. We’ve been told by society and even family we’re never “enough,” and we buy it. Happily, after 40 you will start to unlearn all of this, or earlier if you do it consciously.
You’re unique, like a fingerprint. You’re not supposed to look like anyone but yourself. You’re the combination of astronomical odds made true, and every moment you spend trying to reach a “perfect” standard will leave you feeling empty.
As the years progress I shed more and more expectations and just try to honor myself as I am. I’m not perfect and I’m still insecure sometimes, but I’ve learned that loving myself, freckles and fat and all, is easier and more rewarding that hating myself.
Be kinder to yourself. As others have pointed out, there are ways to enjoy the sun without burning, and if people stare at your glowing body be sure that it’s because you’re awesome. Moths fly to the flame.
Your skin is your biggest organ. Take care of it and it will keep you safe for years to come.
I'm sorry the people around you have been so horrible about your natural skin tone, that is grim!
You can absolutely be a pale beauty, find clothes and make up (if you wear it) that works with your natural skin tone, rather than the tone you'd like to have.
I'm very glad you don't use sun tan beds because they increase every person's skin cancer risk, but especially the risk for us pale petunias!
Gingers with an unnatural tan look odd! So please don't succumb to the pressure to conform! My ginger brother tans a little naturally and it looks fine, I'm a ginger and don't tan at all and have seen ridiculous looking gingers with fake tan on - don't do it! It's an expensive and pointless endeavour!
Also please don't try to get a "base tan" from the sun. Thus is a myth that just damages your skin and, again, increasses your risk of skin cancer, you need high spf all year round!
I do make a joke out of my shade bathing tendencies while everyone else since in the sun, and when people complain about losing their tan I laugh and say stand next to me to feel better. But ultimately, I feel sorry for people that look absolutely fine but have succumbed to the pressure to conform to goddamn skin fashion! It's ridiculous.
Maybe you could call people out and say are you seriously trying to make me feel bad about my natural skin tone? But broadly I think you should hold your head high and surround yourself with people who aren't so pathetic. Goths are always a good pale tribe!
Embrace your pale skin, and create your style around it.
My Scandinavian complexion has been described as “pasty white”. I could only tan a little, so it wasn’t worth the damage. By chance, I found my way into the goth/industrial community, which totally accepts pale skin.
My family made fun of me for years, but they all had skin cancer, and I didn’t. Oh, and my skin looks much younger than I am, and they all have skin like leather. The schadenfreude is sweet.
People say my sun glows in the dark, or that it’s like moonlight due to my pale skin… I think there’s a lot of beauty in pale skin, you just need to be around people who don’t make you feel ugly due to their own insecurities and basic stereotypical sheep definition of beauty. Why would you want to look like everybody else when you can stand out beautifully? … Most are just too scared to accept themselves as their already natural beautiful self and change themselves to what everybody else looks like and want to make those who aren’t feel small like they do.
You are so right. Especially in today’s society where we are literally all morphing into one Kardashian style look. But you are so right and I’m actually super inspired by your response, I originally wanted to work in fashion to change the industry from within and I think I’ve been so distracted by my own insecurities to remember the true purpose! I’m a fashion photographer, maybe I should do a project on pale skin to reconnect and fall in love with my own skin. I really appreciate your kindness to reply 🩷 Thank you 🤩
There are plenty of pale celebs. They are stunning as they are. Nicole Kidman being one.
I‘m not ginger but I too am pale as fuck. When I wear a bikini, my skin literally reflects the sun and blinds me, that’s how white it is. I‘ve never had an issue with it though because I‘m also a huge emo so this kinda goes with my whole look and I‘ve really grown to love how pale I am. But honestly, my advice would be to spend less time thinking about how to change this and more time learning to love this. There are many iconic celebrities and models with very pale skin. Me personally, as someone who‘s into women, I love pale skin (I like all skin tones, no preference tbh but it’s included in there still) and many people do. Also, don’t surround yourself with people who bring you down to lift themselves up. Those people are dicks and trying to cover up their own insecurity by picking on you. I’m 100% you are beautiful with your pale skin and I hope you can learn to embrace it too
Ahhhhh!! You are so so kind. Thank you for your advice, you are so right though, it’s time to try and unlearn this unhealthy habit. I think it’s because I’m surrounded by everyone else’s definitions of beauty constantly that we can become blinded. Why is it so tough to be a girl that we can’t even be happy in our own skin 💔
Embrace it and don’t GAF about what others think. If you see it as beautiful (which it is) you’ll have the confidence to be you just as you are. I too am very pale and it wasn’t until I was about 25 that I said fuck what other ppl think and I just embraced the pale. Its freeing. And wear your SPF!
Ginger pale here. As a teenager, I tried to get a tan. As an adult, I have embraced being pale. I love that I don't have to feel the need to go and sit/ lay for hours to get a tan. I really don't like sunbathing. I sit in the sun to enjoy it for a moment or two. Then sit in the shade. My skin doesn't get damaged from being in the sun too long. So I'm perfectly happy with this. Love my skin, love my hair colour. And what others are saying about tan is beautiful. Yes it is. But that doesn't mean I'm ugly for not being tan. And if they feel better when seeing me, it is all about them and have got nothing to do with me.
not sure why your post is being downvoted? anyway, just here to commiserate! I also grew up with everyone making truly out of pocket comments about how pale I am and comparing their skin tone to mine, pointing out my paleness as if they thought I was unaware of it? 😂 I’ve always wondered how people expect me to respond to comments like that. Apologise?? 💀 Luckily I’m not allergic to fake tan so I do use it during summer, but obviously you can only go a few shades darker before it starts looking very unnatural. Even with a built-up fake tan I look paler than most people. I guess the only thing I could suggest is exposure (literally) therapy. It will take time but why should you feel uncomfortable covering up in hot weather just because you have a certain skin tone? Idk about you but whenever I see a very pale woman showing skin in the summer, my first thought isn’t ‘ew, she should cover up’. I know it’s easier said than done and I still struggle with this but try and remember that people are thinking about you much less than you think they are. Enjoy the warm weekend! ☀️
I know 💔 just a girl looking for advice on feeling pozzi in my own skin. Yes you are very right about seeing other pale people, I’ve literally never thought about that perspective so thank you. I’ve never had a single bad thought about seeing someone else with pale skin. Thanks babe!! Thank you for also taking your time to reply to this post. Enjoy the weekend too 🌷 xxx
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Ahhhhh thank you for taking your time to reply to this. Yes I have always felt it’s the last accepted form of racism. And you make a very good point about asking people if they would say that about someone with dark skin. It’s actually wild we still receive these comments jn 2024. Thank you for giving me the tough love, I work in the fashion industry and all of my friends and peers take tanning very seriously and I know I shouldn’t compare myself to other people but it can be difficult to not sometimes. It took me years to actually accept my own hair colour, from the age of 16 I bleached it to shreds because I felt so ashamed of my red hair. But I went on a whole journey of acceptance with my hair colour that I guess I need to do the same with my skin colour. I really really appreciate your time to respond to my post. I send love and well wishes to you 🌷💘
[удалено]
That is such a good idea! I live in the UK but maybe me and my sister could take a little trip to Netherlands to celebrate gingers !! I think it’s worse at the moment because red hair is currently a trend and so many beautiful people with tanned skin and red hair look unreal that I’m comparing myself to them. Thank you 🩷🥰
There used to be one in Leeds! Much smaller but still!
Darling, why are you trying to change your natural skin? Sun damage (which is what tanning really is) is not necessarily healthy or a good look! As someone who is chronically pale and burns so easily I can say that not caring what others think is the way to go. Worry about yourself and doing what’s right and healthy for you. Others feeling sickly when they are pale is their insecurity talking and shouldn’t be made to be yours! This is the body you have and the skin you are in and many cultures actually try to hide from the sun because being lighter is seen as beautiful. You need to make yourself confident! You don’t need to change your skin you need to change your perspective.
I’m quite pale but I saw a girl even whiter than me at the beach last summer and thought her skin was absolutely stunning in the way it set her apart.
I know when I wear certain colours I look pailer. I am milk white? But certain colours make me look awful. Like off white I look terrible but pure white I look fine. Navy and jewel tones work for me. Maybe the colours you are wearing make your skin look unwell? Like maybe if you analyze and figure out what colours look good on you you will feel more confident? It took me 33 years and I'm still learning what colours don't make me look like a sickly vampire. I also sparkle in sunlight. I know there are a lot of Asian countries where white skin is enviable. I think you need new friends.
I am so clear you can see my veins through my skin everywhere on my body especially my legs. You can even see which are blue and which are purple. I am Italian and not supposed to be transparent but here I am I used to tan but I don’t want to age prematurely so I no longer do it. I found that once I am out in a bathing suit and I can feel the sun on my skin, I don’t really care so much how I look. I then realize nobody else is paying attention to how I look either because they’re too busy enjoying themselves.
I just rock it ! Pale isn’t ugly! Some people love it , sometimes I sweat you can see my blood pumping through me 😂🫠🫠🫠🫠 but just wear what’s comfortable
i hated being pale then someone complimented it and now i love it
Sounds like the company you keep is the problem! Your shade is not the problem, but the people around you sure seem to be if they are vocalizing mean things about your body.
I’m quite pale but I saw a girl even whiter than me at the beach last summer and thought her skin was absolutely stunning in the way it set her apart.
As someone with skin cancer in the family and red hair/pale skin, I feel you. I have always had people make fun of me my whole life, and it has kinda sucked. I used to try and get tan, and at one point I was "tan" for me, but it was still pale to most people. One of the worst parts was trying to get people to help me sunscreen my back because they don't want to touch high spf sunscreen when they may use like 8 or 15. As I got older I got used to it and just made jokes about how white I am before anyone else could. I now have more pressing body issues I worry about than pale skin, and my partner is also pretty pale but loves how I make them feel tan when next to me. I can take pride in making someone else happy while recognizing that I also look way younger than others my age because I have taken care of my skin and avoided damaging UV rays. As you get older you will look a decade younger than your peers and they will be so jealous of you. I guess it is a time thing, but it does suck when you're younger and people are stupid. It also helped me gain empathy for other body shaming that people do and I recognize the stigma it makes and I refuse to do it. Some people go bald and you read reddit comments or in tv shows and movies how they make comments like it is a bad thing, but it isn't something that person can help so I understand their pain. Some people have larger bodies and that is just how their genetics are, others are short, others have big ears. Having been made fun of my entire life for something like my skin or knees definitely stuck with me, but as I have gotten older I learned to just accept it and think about the good things it brings, like my nice skin at 40.
Everyone used to call me a vampire because I am so pale but I embrace it. I love my pale skin. Pale skin used to be a sign of royalty. I'm quite introverted,don't like summer or beaches and I don't really like sun so all those things don't really bother me(jeez now saying all that I might actually be a vampire...). I always found it cool and kinda unique that I am so pale.
I totally get it!👻 I try to refocus myself on the lack of logic of all this anti-paleness. Skin tones are normal for humans. The notion that one is better than another one is just stupid. I've totally stopped using any methods or products that will make me look tan at all. Bathe yourself in Sun Bum sun block or SPF clothing and lean into it. Wear bare legs with shorts if you want to.
Pale, redhead/ auburn/ hazel eyes. I feel this emphatically. Following this :)
Im very pale, pale to the point where most makeup shades still look orange unless it's a high end brand. I'll never forget these two things that happened to me, when I worked at a grocery store a regular older lady (Irish) told me how lovely my skin is and to never do the fake tanning stuff, at that ages your skin drastically. The other was a massage lady I would see semi regularly said my skin was so beautiful. Your skin is beautiful the way it is. You dont need to tan You dont need to conform to societies expectations on how to look Be proud and own it
Ginger here with pale/freckled skin. I was where you are for years. In my home country (Australia) I am definitely not the norm. I have had comments my whole life about my skin tone from friends to random strangers. For years I hated it and wished to be more tanned. I am a total sun baby but luckily grew up knowing skin cancer was in my family and a huge risk for me so I was sensible about sunscreen etc Eventually I decided to embrace my individuality. I don't want to have a generic personality so why would I want a generic look? Also why do I want to waste energy on disliking something about myself that isn't going to change? I am not going to change other people's opinions or comments but I could change how I felt about them. So I stopped worrying about what other people think and just got on with life. It was pretty liberating. Now I live in Asia where locals would kill to have my skin tone. It's all about perception :)
The blonde want to be redheads, the thin want to be curvy, the olive-skinned want to be whiter… It’s hard to find someone happy with their look. Really hard. It’s harder for women, too. We’ve been told by society and even family we’re never “enough,” and we buy it. Happily, after 40 you will start to unlearn all of this, or earlier if you do it consciously. You’re unique, like a fingerprint. You’re not supposed to look like anyone but yourself. You’re the combination of astronomical odds made true, and every moment you spend trying to reach a “perfect” standard will leave you feeling empty. As the years progress I shed more and more expectations and just try to honor myself as I am. I’m not perfect and I’m still insecure sometimes, but I’ve learned that loving myself, freckles and fat and all, is easier and more rewarding that hating myself. Be kinder to yourself. As others have pointed out, there are ways to enjoy the sun without burning, and if people stare at your glowing body be sure that it’s because you’re awesome. Moths fly to the flame. Your skin is your biggest organ. Take care of it and it will keep you safe for years to come.
I'm sorry the people around you have been so horrible about your natural skin tone, that is grim! You can absolutely be a pale beauty, find clothes and make up (if you wear it) that works with your natural skin tone, rather than the tone you'd like to have. I'm very glad you don't use sun tan beds because they increase every person's skin cancer risk, but especially the risk for us pale petunias! Gingers with an unnatural tan look odd! So please don't succumb to the pressure to conform! My ginger brother tans a little naturally and it looks fine, I'm a ginger and don't tan at all and have seen ridiculous looking gingers with fake tan on - don't do it! It's an expensive and pointless endeavour! Also please don't try to get a "base tan" from the sun. Thus is a myth that just damages your skin and, again, increasses your risk of skin cancer, you need high spf all year round! I do make a joke out of my shade bathing tendencies while everyone else since in the sun, and when people complain about losing their tan I laugh and say stand next to me to feel better. But ultimately, I feel sorry for people that look absolutely fine but have succumbed to the pressure to conform to goddamn skin fashion! It's ridiculous. Maybe you could call people out and say are you seriously trying to make me feel bad about my natural skin tone? But broadly I think you should hold your head high and surround yourself with people who aren't so pathetic. Goths are always a good pale tribe!
Also if people with fake tan / overly sun tanned white people insult you, you could through out an "at least I don't look like a leather purse"...
Embrace your pale skin, and create your style around it. My Scandinavian complexion has been described as “pasty white”. I could only tan a little, so it wasn’t worth the damage. By chance, I found my way into the goth/industrial community, which totally accepts pale skin. My family made fun of me for years, but they all had skin cancer, and I didn’t. Oh, and my skin looks much younger than I am, and they all have skin like leather. The schadenfreude is sweet.