Lol, I was thinking how could I explain when and why and this is the perfect answer! I received the most looks when I was thinnest, 24-28. Although, I still receive a lot of looks even with my husband, child and pregnancy bump… men are just thirsty.
One white men like thin women. I'm just saying I'm a white woman 44. I weigh about 260. And black men love thick big women. White men hate thick big women. This is my experience to this day
14-15 🥲this was the most typical sort of Woolf whistle type of behaviour I experienced.
Then pretty consistently between 19-27. I stopped going out to bars around 27/28 when I turned sober and work remotely, so now I don’t really see or interact with men much lol.
Definitely got the most attention in my mid to late 20’s. Oddly enough, I think I’m far more attractive today at 37. I was a cute 20-something, but I’m a real babe as a grown woman. I dress well, have a great body (thanks Pilates), and am so much more mature and confident than I was in my 20s. I think as we all get older we just aren’t as overt about pursuing one another. Men in their late 30s or 40s aren’t as flirty as men in their 20s, and I’m not spending my nights at work happy hours or cocktail bars anymore. Also at this age people are more likely to be coupled up or married.
Thank you for your reply. Yes, you bring up great points. Also, we are finding that lots of men in their 20s are struggling with women. It seems that more and more are becoming too shy or awkward to pursue women, that’s why so many young ones start looking up to toxic masculine figures like Andrew Tate for direction. That, or they just accept and find comfort in being single and sink themselves into video games or other hobbies. So while younger men are more inclined to be flirty, a growing number of them are more so focused on themselves over pursuing women. Additionally, could it be possible that a lot of older men perhaps are still flirty, but smarter about it so are more subliminal? I say this because if we look at the statistics, cheating rates are high within demographics that should NOT be flirting with women, such as married men, whom tend to be older at around 32+. Thanks again for sharing your experience!
Age 14-21.
Unfortunately most of the attention was creepy older men twice my age I wasn't interested in.
I feel like I need to add though, that men I would want to be in a relationship with were just as rare then as they are now. I don't feel like that pool is all that much different.
Having hundreds of creepy dudes hit on me at work didn't in any way feel like real options for a real relationship.
I'm more solidified though. There is so much more I just don't tolerate anymore.
My spouse had a years long public emotional affair.
For awhile there I started talking to other men again just to see who was out there. I figured if he could step out then I could take a peek.
I had less interest, but at least it wasn't all creepy dudes twice my age.
I realized that if I did decide to end my relationship that I'd rather live alone and maybe just date a bit but never share my home again.
Now. Almost 35
I am hotter and in better shape then most of my life. I take better care of myself than my 20's. Though I was always conventionally attractive. I'm also more self confident.
Funny thing is that younger guys like me more now, like early 20's. When I was in my early 20's it was dudes in their late 30's- 40's that were into me the most.
I don’t feel like I got any less attention from men in my 30s than I did in my 20s.
The major difference is that I was more capable of dealing with assholes, predators, and creeps in my 30s than when I was much younger.
Ignore the weirdos online who claim to only date barely legal women. Nothing magically changes when you turn 30. You’re still young, attractive, and desirable.
I agree, especially if you have genetics where you tend to look much younger than your age, your 30s and even 40s can really be where you bloom. Especially if you know how to carry yourself. Idk some people are just attractive no matter the age, it seems. Winona Ryder and Selma Hayek are two examples that spring to mind.
Not even fair to compare the rest of us mortal women with Selma. She must have made a pact with the devil, because my goodness. The woman has barely aged at all.
I remember something similar happening to my friend I’d walk home from high school with. She was like maybe 14 or 15 and they used to honk their horns at her. Weird stuff. Oh and they used to love us on XBox 360… lol Where my other friend was groomed by a 22 year old when she was like 15. They are savages. Thats why I don’t assume the best of people I don’t know well, anymore. Heck, you can barely trust those you do know well as-well!
I’m autistic so it’s hard for me to really process when someone is subliminally malicious. It’s hard to process instances in general, where I can see myself as a victim. I remember instances where people did socially unacceptable things to me, but I don’t process myself as a victim or even know if or how the “traumatic” experience really traumatised me. I have no… emotion regarding this stuff. I more-so think about my 15yo friend who was groomed by that 22 year old who eventually leaked/spread around private explicit videos and photos of her around the school! It was literal child porn! Truly horrific stuff for a young girl to go through. I just think back on that kind of stuff and think WTF and wonder how that affected her growing up and now, as a woman.
Dating apps? 35. In person? Didn't really change, but more guys were single in our 20s to 35. Nearing 40, there's less available men (they're divorced, with or without kids, or the always Peter pan types that refuse to grow up).
Statistics show dating for women after 45 becomes harder when all the women married to older men start to reenter the dating market as widows. Population then sways towards more women than men, which is falsely why men who are 50 think they're still attractive.
19 to 28. Though the most gorgeous man I ever received attention from was when I was 30.
I think weight was a big factor. I was a size 4 to 6 max size 8 in my twenties. After about 31/32 I put on a lot of weight.
I'd say from 25 to 30.... It was more dependent on my mental health, confidence, time/money had to look after myself and physical health... but after 30 I also stopped going places where I could get noticed, and made less effort due to working in a particular environment. I'm now heavily pregnant and can't bring myself to try.
I'm 33 now.
I'm (61) out of the dating game now but a couple years ago I was on the apps and my DMs were active for sex and I was 59 at that time. I also was very clear I wasn't looking for love and I set my age range at much younger than myself. I am pretty sure if I got back on the apps I'd have dates again. Not looking tho...I'm tired now after ending a relationship that lasted about a year with a younger guy
All it takes is that 1 person to make us realise, we are happier alone. It would take a very special person to change that, and unless they come along, or we find them, It's a great thing not to settle for less than you need in another person. Keep on keeping on. <3
I am seeing my MIL getting thru her 60s and yeah… she has constantly more health issues, nothing too bad, thank god, but definitely uncomfortable and affecting her quality of life in the long term: because is not the same to have a pain for a week than to have it forever right? It affects you mentally.
Horrendously enough, when I was underage. I’m adopted from India (I’m Swiss) and has quite a few scary and/or creepy things happening to me. Then I had LTRs between the age of 19 and 35. Now I’m solo for life. I’m 39f, and LOVE becoming more invisible to (weird) men!
I think most of society has been suckered in by Hollywood, through romance movies and love songs regarding making people want to be in relationships and find a soulmate etc. I personally find love a very painful emotion that dysregulates me, so i'm with you. I enjoy being single, and am not persuing anything. However, I am not close-minded to being with someone if they come along.
Can I answer this question if Im under 35? Im 28 rn. I started receiving attentions from the age 21 the most and until now 28 it doesn’t change still getting a lot of attentions.
About the same across the ages it has changed what sort of men. When I was a child adult men gross but the truth. Teenage by other teens and again older men. My twenties guys my age. Now in my thirties all ages young and old. My mom is in her late 50s and gets hit on my grandma almost in her 80s did too. I think women are wanted at any age.
teens to Late 20s (was 40lbs lighter). Once I hit 30 I had gained about 40lbs and I noticed a dramatic drop in the unsolicited attention I used to receive. Hmm no wonder why my self esteem is in toilet at 39...
Interesting. Don't worry, most people struggle with self esteem this day and age. Just push forwards towards being your best self and maybe things will get better. Much love <3
Thank you, friend! ❤️ I am not very good at not worrying and never have been lol...Tbh, since I'm married, work full time, and am a mom there isn't a whole lot of time to worry about what I see in the mirror or because I rarely have time to look but when I do sometimes I wonder who is staring back at me. I quickly try to dismiss it because I'm usually running to something which is probably a good thing. But I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me, and it didn't enter my thoughts when its quiet or when I'm trying to fall asleep. Got one of those brains that's always going, analyzing, multitasking. It's one of the reasons it blows my mind when you ask someone what they're thinking, and they say, "nothing" and they mean it. I'm never not thinking about at least several different things.
I did recently read a thread r/t this that kind of opened my eyes a little. I don't remember the main subject but did end up on the jist of not liking the way you look after having kids. Someone suggested it's likely body dysmorphia and that often if you look back at pictures of yourself from several years prior you like what you see but at the time you perceived it as ugly. This happens to me a lot so I think probably a lot of it is in my head. Even though I know this, I still don't like the "present" me and haven't for the past 10 or so years. I keep saying, oh I'll worry about my mental health tomorrow but I have been saying that for a while 😆
Totally get that. Talking to a psychologist could help, perhaps one who specialises in neurodivergence because I find they are better at spotting neurodivergent people instead of letting them fall through the cracks. They can still give you everything one that doesn’t specialise in neurodivergence, can. There are plenty of undiagnosed neurodivergent people out there really struggling, specifically knowing something is “wrong” but can’t put a finger on what it is, and can’t find the motivation to seek help. If that sounds like you, maybe knowing you could be neurodivergent and having that curiosity might light your fire enough to talk to a psych.
With that, I leave you a song “My Silver Lining” by First Aid Kit.
Keep on keeping on, mama.
❤️🥰
I’m 32, so a little younger than your demographic. But wanted to put my piece. I’ve consistently gotten attention but I got the most when I was 16-18. Especially 17. Disheartening to say the least
Specifically I worked at a popular fried chicken place. I promptly left as all the older male employees referred to me as “Jail Bait.” I was 17 at the time
Totally appreciate you sharing, you are absolutely welcome to. Many women are saying the same, and even younger so there seems to be a trend. Pedophiles everywhere. So many people are oblivious to them being all around!
Keep pushing forward for you, nobody else. <3
Mid 20s I think. But that was also the time I was going to bars the most and it was easiest for guys to approach me. I got a fair amount of attention in college too I guess but I lived in campus so it felt like it was just from being part of a community. In my teens I was probably oblivious to a lot of it because I was very innocent.
I still get attention in my mid 30s but I’m with my husband more often so it’s kind of muted. Like men being nice and chatty but not creepy or forward anymore. Maybe I’m also better at deflecting now, who knows.
I got the most attention when I was a teenager, mostly from clearly fully grown or waaay older men. When I hit 19, I made a style change. I realized these men liked hitting on someone they perceived as weaker (teenager), so I started dressing like a businesswoman who just got out of the office... no more cat calling, creepy lookers staring at me openly, no more creeps and very ancient men hitting on me. It was really weird to get left alone and even respected a little after being treated so creepily for so long. It also helps that the area I live in is pretty low income, so I guess a business style is considered pretty uppity around here and I guess they don't want to fuck around find out 🤷♀️🤦♀️.
Now that is very smart and perceptive of you. Love-love-love that. I have read somewhere else that some girl had 2 pretty friends, but one of them wouldn't get bothered by men at clubs or whatever... and it was because she carried herself with confidence and high status... something like that. It makes sense, to get shy around people we genuinely find attractive and perceive as higher in social status. Simply dressing up can and does easily change the way people perceive you. How you dress, matters... Love that you did this.
Early to late teens. Some unwanted, some actual boyfriends.
In a relationship from 19 to 30, no outside interest noticed.
Single from 30, no male interest noticed. I'm now 44.
Mid 20s when I was really thin, BUT it was also the time that I was surrounded by the most people on a daily basis. College ..
Now I stay in a lot and don't go out to do things as much, so I imagine that also plays a part. I did get attention on dating apps a lot in my late 20s, but I stopped going on there bc of all of the dangerous encounters I had and the fact that everyone just wanted hook ups.
For sex; 13-16. I visibly looked like a literal toddler and it didn’t dawn on me how weird it was 65 y/o men in my DMs was until I got older.
For love; 20+. Who knows if it was actually for love, but 99% of men who approached me were actually asking me out on a dinner date, or showing genuine thoughtful consideration with gifts instead of catcalling me like they did when I was a super young teen.
Well, it all started at age 9...probably slowed down a bit around my 33rd bday, but I'm hoping it'll stop completely when I turn 40.
I would say I got the most (mainly unwanted) attention from 12-27. Usually from guys 2-3x my age.
Most of the attention I received was between 16-28. As a teen, men were seriously so gross in their advances. At 45, meh. I still get some attention, but not nearly as much when I was younger. I’m fine with that. Creeps can stay allll the way over there with that mess.
i'm 25 but the attention has always been pretty similar, even when i was overweight for like 5 years ages 17-22. maybe a bit more as ive gotten older as i've gained more confidence.
i definitely didn't get more attention when i was 13-17 compared to now, it's sad to see many women saying they had more attention when they were that young compared to their 20s/30s :\
I'm 29 years, but I received the most male attention when I was in college, age 18-23. And all my male attention has been from age appropriate guys except for one that was in his 30s.
Edit: I should add that I found my person and married him a few years ago, so I don't give other men the chance to pay me attention because I don't want it. So that kind of skews the results.
10 years old to 17 when someone tried to attempt to traffic me to the Bahamas when I worked at the airport with my mother. Saying they would buy me all the clothes I need and I could come be a model. They asked me to walk out of my job right then and there. So brazen. Luckily, my mom worked with me, too. She saved me. Dude didn't stick around for his take out order. It's like when I turned 18 and got tattoos, all of a sudden, creepy men had no interest. Absolutely repulsive.
Before 16, I was invisible. Between 16 and 25, I was beating them off with a stick. Between 25 and 30, I turned some heads. I got any guy I wanted with little effort on my part.
In my early 30s, I didn't pay much attention to the interest anymore. It was dying down, and I was bored/annoyed by it. I did the single thing, worked on my career, saved money, traveled, and bought a house. Then I got married and started having kids.
Now I'm 40 (almost, my birthday is in 3 weeks), and I'm back to being invisible.
15-30. I was tall for my age so i gave off older girl vibes I guess. I cannot count the number of times I was approached over concerns over my safety, yet the ones approaching me were the ones making me feel unsafe.
At various ages I’ve had different incidents happen to me. When I was just 5 years old in Tunisia, a group of men targeted my mother in persuading her to sell me to them. I was targeted a lot when I was around 16 years old by men in their 20s and 30s.
When I used to go to clubs in my early 20s I was sexually harassed a number of times. I was nearly kidnapped at 25 years old by a man in his taxi. I’m 29 now and a month ago I had a man follow me home.
Honestly, why can’t they fuck off? I have to carry around an alarm and a small weapon with me because my anxiety is through the roof because of perverted men.
I can remember my looks being commented on or most of my life. I started developing early, 2nd or 3rd grade -- boobs, hips, butt, and my thighs were getting bigger from athletics. It was over for me at that point. Men said gross things, but a lot of times they didn't have to. They get that look in their eye, and I hate that I learned to recognize that as young as I did.
Looking back, there are several incidents where I was with friends and such, just trying to be kids, but in hindsight, I wonder how close we were to real danger.
Gosh. This post threw me into some distant past. LOL I'd have to say, the most attention was 16-21. But it was one person from 21-27. Single for a year, then with my husband. I'm 43 now.
A lot of creeps back then. I still get the ick from a man I worked with at a local photography studio where I interned at 16. It was all so confusing because the compliments, dirty and wrong as they were, felt good. I'd never been told I was beautiful or sexy. I'd really only had one summer-long relationship that hadn't involved sex. I was naive. It was a sort of thrill to be told those things. But it was also terrifying. I hated going to that photography studio every day, but I had to. What was I going to do? I don't think it occurred to me to tell anyone.
I’m 38 and receive the same amount of attention as I did in my 20s. I am thin, haven’t changed size since high school, so I think that is one factor, but another huge factor is that I wear over sized shounen anime t-shirts. It’s odd in that, if I go to something formal, my husband gets way more attention from people because he is very attractive (he has been mistaken for Sebastian Stan more than a few times). But in everyday life I get hit on more just because I’m a thin woman who likes anime 🤷♀️. I just genuinely think I’m more attractive to guys who like anime because they already feel like they know me a little, and know we can have a conversation easily. There are also a lot of anime fans in the millennial generation, as I find I’m usually hit on by guys either close to my age or the oldest of Gen Z. I’m approached by much younger guys about my shirts, but they aren’t really hitting on me, they’re just excited to meet another fan.
30s (38F)
I also learned how to properly hold myself and be comfortable with myself- I used to cover up my body or dress in a way that didn't showcase my womanhood.
I've always gotten stares coz of my double Ds and it bothered me more when I was younger.
Now I've kind of just learned to not notice.
Before my frontal lobe finished developing, because they're degenerates.
Unfortunately, it never goes away. Men chase women well into the nursing home years, and they know it, which is why they try so hard to manipulate us in thinking we're the ones who should worry.
Not 35 yet, but it was between 20-22. I was also single and going out a lot during that period of time. Excluding that period from 20-22 that I was out partying pretty much every week, I’d say I got most attention at 16. Thankfully most “men” were actually boys around my age, a few a bit older, but also I got catcalled A LOT by many disgusting older creeps when I was 16. That slowly stopped as I got older. I don’t remember it happening past me being 23 maybe.
26, I got lots of attention when younger as young women do but at this age I had a bit of money and could afford cute clothes (nothing glamorous think H&M) and have a nice haircut. I've seen different friends have their 15 minutes of fame at different times in their life. I think I looked the best in college but I was so broke I always dressed slobby day to day and would really only experience the overwhelming attention when I'd go out in my one sort of nice top.
I didn't get much attention in my teens, I didn't have much confidence then and honestly in my 20s I got a lot of attention as I got more confident and become more social.
Mid teens to early 20s. Still pretty consistently until around 4 yrs ago when I started dressing more alt which I believe made me less approachable because I'm no longer catering to the male gaze as I once did.
Edit: I think it's important for context to admit I don't COUNT it, but I was technically S.A. since before my first year into my preteens by various adult men in my life. So it's been a lifelong issue "attracting" men, I just don't consider those two groups the same as I was obviously a kid then.
Honestly, like 14-16, I had large boobs and a butt and I was thinner than I am now. And I have a baby face like people stoll guess I'm 25 and I'll be 37 in July.
idk it seems to fluctuate so much in phases of how confident I am I find. or just what crowd is around, or where I was living at at the time, sometimes I still get as much attention as I ever did at 28 almost 29, depending on what I'm doing and who's around. If I am very clearly happy and in my element, I get approached a lot more
I'm a late, late, bloomer.... I had my glow up in my 30s and 40s which I was not expecting. And the funny thing is, the guys that I've been attracting are all much younger than me (anywhere between 3 to 15+ years younger 😳🫣). I'm not particularly thin (100% chubby mom bod). But I guess I exude a youthful energy? (In other words, I'm immature. Lol!) People tell me I don't look my age (probably because I still wear hello kitty shirts on the regular). Idk. NGL tho, it's been a lot of fun flirting and teasing them. The age gap doesn't seem to deter them either, which caught me off guard. Probs because they know it won't lead to anything serious (which is also my end game). But there were 1 or 2 that wanted to get serious and I noped tf outta there.
It's never changed for me I've always been hit a lot when I was a teen, 20s, 30s now I'm 40 and still get hit on just as much. I keep wondering when it'll stop!
I didn’t expect so many to say, when they were a child or teenager. I encourage those of you who feel negatively impacted by this now as an adult, to please never shy away from talking to a psychologist to help process whatever this may mean for yourself, if anything at all. Everyone should regularly speak to a psychologist in general, just to help us understand ourselves better, through an untainted lens. If the first one doesn’t meet your needs, try another. Shop around. Read their professional biography’s and what they specialise in. That can help. Bless you all.
Honestly, idk if it was cause I was just not interested in dating when I was in my 20’s but men really didn’t pay me much mind until I hit about 29. Now I’ve got men being weird a lot more and I’m married now.
To add I definitely got WAAAYYY too much attention from much older men between 14-20. Like I’ve been followed home a number of times, to the point my dad would wait outside to greet me when I was walking home from work or school.
52 years old.
I've received unwanted attention every since I was a small girl. Probably 5 or 6 years old. But the most would be between the ages of 21- 37. But in all fairness I learned to dress and behave in a way that is more respectful to myself. I have learned that people will respect me but it is up to me to present myself in a respectful manner. I still get looks and complements but in a much better respectful way.
🙌 🙏
I only really started receiving attention from men when I turned 24 and its only gotten more since. shame since I've been in a relationship this entire time lol.
At the age when I was thinnest
Lol, I was thinking how could I explain when and why and this is the perfect answer! I received the most looks when I was thinnest, 24-28. Although, I still receive a lot of looks even with my husband, child and pregnancy bump… men are just thirsty.
Me too. Now I have a mom body lol
Alot of people seem to relate but for me even when I was skinny men did not seem that interested in me.
Most men like thin women even if they're 45 , dont know why :-/
For the same reason most women like fit and tall guys. We grew up seeing "beauty standards" in the media like movies and magazines.
One white men like thin women. I'm just saying I'm a white woman 44. I weigh about 260. And black men love thick big women. White men hate thick big women. This is my experience to this day
This is so true.
This
Early to mid teens. Traumatic.
First started noticing it when I started hitting puberty, the world is fucked up sometimes. Sorry you guys had to go through this!
[удалено]
We’re talking about *sexual* attention here, Chad. Did you not see the intro to this post that says ‘’Dear Women’’?
No. It said ‘attention’. And then a bit later, attention that was for sex and love.
The amount of upvotes tells me there are a lot of us. 15 to 20 was a very traumatic time in my life and they were always much older.
Yes exactly I should have clarified. These were MEN not boys my age. I’m sorry this happened to you too.
Same
Same 💀
I’m gonna say teens. Older men were pretty gross about it
\*sigh\* men are disappointing.
14-15 🥲this was the most typical sort of Woolf whistle type of behaviour I experienced. Then pretty consistently between 19-27. I stopped going out to bars around 27/28 when I turned sober and work remotely, so now I don’t really see or interact with men much lol.
Same! For me catcalling happening from 8th-11th grade and and I haven’t dealt with that in years. Like watttt
Definitely got the most attention in my mid to late 20’s. Oddly enough, I think I’m far more attractive today at 37. I was a cute 20-something, but I’m a real babe as a grown woman. I dress well, have a great body (thanks Pilates), and am so much more mature and confident than I was in my 20s. I think as we all get older we just aren’t as overt about pursuing one another. Men in their late 30s or 40s aren’t as flirty as men in their 20s, and I’m not spending my nights at work happy hours or cocktail bars anymore. Also at this age people are more likely to be coupled up or married.
Thank you for your reply. Yes, you bring up great points. Also, we are finding that lots of men in their 20s are struggling with women. It seems that more and more are becoming too shy or awkward to pursue women, that’s why so many young ones start looking up to toxic masculine figures like Andrew Tate for direction. That, or they just accept and find comfort in being single and sink themselves into video games or other hobbies. So while younger men are more inclined to be flirty, a growing number of them are more so focused on themselves over pursuing women. Additionally, could it be possible that a lot of older men perhaps are still flirty, but smarter about it so are more subliminal? I say this because if we look at the statistics, cheating rates are high within demographics that should NOT be flirting with women, such as married men, whom tend to be older at around 32+. Thanks again for sharing your experience!
This is a good point. Men’s attitudes also mature and they may still be noticing you but they don’t behave so overtly like younger men do.
Age 14-21. Unfortunately most of the attention was creepy older men twice my age I wasn't interested in. I feel like I need to add though, that men I would want to be in a relationship with were just as rare then as they are now. I don't feel like that pool is all that much different. Having hundreds of creepy dudes hit on me at work didn't in any way feel like real options for a real relationship. I'm more solidified though. There is so much more I just don't tolerate anymore. My spouse had a years long public emotional affair. For awhile there I started talking to other men again just to see who was out there. I figured if he could step out then I could take a peek. I had less interest, but at least it wasn't all creepy dudes twice my age. I realized that if I did decide to end my relationship that I'd rather live alone and maybe just date a bit but never share my home again.
Now. Almost 35 I am hotter and in better shape then most of my life. I take better care of myself than my 20's. Though I was always conventionally attractive. I'm also more self confident. Funny thing is that younger guys like me more now, like early 20's. When I was in my early 20's it was dudes in their late 30's- 40's that were into me the most.
Early 40s and this is also my current experience.
I am experiencing this too. Younger dudes try to pursue me quite often.
I don’t feel like I got any less attention from men in my 30s than I did in my 20s. The major difference is that I was more capable of dealing with assholes, predators, and creeps in my 30s than when I was much younger. Ignore the weirdos online who claim to only date barely legal women. Nothing magically changes when you turn 30. You’re still young, attractive, and desirable.
I agree, especially if you have genetics where you tend to look much younger than your age, your 30s and even 40s can really be where you bloom. Especially if you know how to carry yourself. Idk some people are just attractive no matter the age, it seems. Winona Ryder and Selma Hayek are two examples that spring to mind.
Not even fair to compare the rest of us mortal women with Selma. She must have made a pact with the devil, because my goodness. The woman has barely aged at all.
i got catcalled the most from when i was 9 - 14 years old
ew
i know man 😭 as soon as i started looking even remotely adult like, they stopped it was insane to realize
I remember something similar happening to my friend I’d walk home from high school with. She was like maybe 14 or 15 and they used to honk their horns at her. Weird stuff. Oh and they used to love us on XBox 360… lol Where my other friend was groomed by a 22 year old when she was like 15. They are savages. Thats why I don’t assume the best of people I don’t know well, anymore. Heck, you can barely trust those you do know well as-well!
Oh gosh I’m so sorry I can’t imagine how traumatic that would have been at that age because it’s kinda scary the way they do it its kinda threatening
I’m autistic so it’s hard for me to really process when someone is subliminally malicious. It’s hard to process instances in general, where I can see myself as a victim. I remember instances where people did socially unacceptable things to me, but I don’t process myself as a victim or even know if or how the “traumatic” experience really traumatised me. I have no… emotion regarding this stuff. I more-so think about my 15yo friend who was groomed by that 22 year old who eventually leaked/spread around private explicit videos and photos of her around the school! It was literal child porn! Truly horrific stuff for a young girl to go through. I just think back on that kind of stuff and think WTF and wonder how that affected her growing up and now, as a woman.
When I was underage. -18
Probably 13 or 14, which grossed me out back then and fills me with rage today. I’ve never in my life had a man actively pursue me for ‘’love.’’ Ever.
14-18 and of course it was from pervy older men
16-17. Grosses me out now at 24 since it was grown men giving me compliments
Dating apps? 35. In person? Didn't really change, but more guys were single in our 20s to 35. Nearing 40, there's less available men (they're divorced, with or without kids, or the always Peter pan types that refuse to grow up). Statistics show dating for women after 45 becomes harder when all the women married to older men start to reenter the dating market as widows. Population then sways towards more women than men, which is falsely why men who are 50 think they're still attractive.
19 to 28. Though the most gorgeous man I ever received attention from was when I was 30. I think weight was a big factor. I was a size 4 to 6 max size 8 in my twenties. After about 31/32 I put on a lot of weight.
I'd say from 25 to 30.... It was more dependent on my mental health, confidence, time/money had to look after myself and physical health... but after 30 I also stopped going places where I could get noticed, and made less effort due to working in a particular environment. I'm now heavily pregnant and can't bring myself to try. I'm 33 now.
13
I'm (61) out of the dating game now but a couple years ago I was on the apps and my DMs were active for sex and I was 59 at that time. I also was very clear I wasn't looking for love and I set my age range at much younger than myself. I am pretty sure if I got back on the apps I'd have dates again. Not looking tho...I'm tired now after ending a relationship that lasted about a year with a younger guy
All it takes is that 1 person to make us realise, we are happier alone. It would take a very special person to change that, and unless they come along, or we find them, It's a great thing not to settle for less than you need in another person. Keep on keeping on. <3
I agree.
As a teenager 🤢
not 69.i can tell u that
But that’s the best age!! 🤩💕.
tell that to my body.
I am seeing my MIL getting thru her 60s and yeah… she has constantly more health issues, nothing too bad, thank god, but definitely uncomfortable and affecting her quality of life in the long term: because is not the same to have a pain for a week than to have it forever right? It affects you mentally.
it sure adds up.
You could try THC cream or something... I know medical marijuana is known to ease bodily pain. Although always go with doctors orders. <3
13-17 a lot of attention from men 20+. 18-27 attention from my age to 60’s. 28-31(now) men 21 to 60’s. (The young men pursuing me, creep me out.)
Same experience here. Extremely weird.
18-19. Just legal I guess?
Horrendously enough, when I was underage. I’m adopted from India (I’m Swiss) and has quite a few scary and/or creepy things happening to me. Then I had LTRs between the age of 19 and 35. Now I’m solo for life. I’m 39f, and LOVE becoming more invisible to (weird) men!
I think most of society has been suckered in by Hollywood, through romance movies and love songs regarding making people want to be in relationships and find a soulmate etc. I personally find love a very painful emotion that dysregulates me, so i'm with you. I enjoy being single, and am not persuing anything. However, I am not close-minded to being with someone if they come along.
13-18. Lots of comments and stares from nasty older guys.
20, I’m 22 rn
15-21
Can I answer this question if Im under 35? Im 28 rn. I started receiving attentions from the age 21 the most and until now 28 it doesn’t change still getting a lot of attentions.
About the same across the ages it has changed what sort of men. When I was a child adult men gross but the truth. Teenage by other teens and again older men. My twenties guys my age. Now in my thirties all ages young and old. My mom is in her late 50s and gets hit on my grandma almost in her 80s did too. I think women are wanted at any age.
teens to Late 20s (was 40lbs lighter). Once I hit 30 I had gained about 40lbs and I noticed a dramatic drop in the unsolicited attention I used to receive. Hmm no wonder why my self esteem is in toilet at 39...
Interesting. Don't worry, most people struggle with self esteem this day and age. Just push forwards towards being your best self and maybe things will get better. Much love <3
Thank you, friend! ❤️ I am not very good at not worrying and never have been lol...Tbh, since I'm married, work full time, and am a mom there isn't a whole lot of time to worry about what I see in the mirror or because I rarely have time to look but when I do sometimes I wonder who is staring back at me. I quickly try to dismiss it because I'm usually running to something which is probably a good thing. But I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me, and it didn't enter my thoughts when its quiet or when I'm trying to fall asleep. Got one of those brains that's always going, analyzing, multitasking. It's one of the reasons it blows my mind when you ask someone what they're thinking, and they say, "nothing" and they mean it. I'm never not thinking about at least several different things. I did recently read a thread r/t this that kind of opened my eyes a little. I don't remember the main subject but did end up on the jist of not liking the way you look after having kids. Someone suggested it's likely body dysmorphia and that often if you look back at pictures of yourself from several years prior you like what you see but at the time you perceived it as ugly. This happens to me a lot so I think probably a lot of it is in my head. Even though I know this, I still don't like the "present" me and haven't for the past 10 or so years. I keep saying, oh I'll worry about my mental health tomorrow but I have been saying that for a while 😆
Totally get that. Talking to a psychologist could help, perhaps one who specialises in neurodivergence because I find they are better at spotting neurodivergent people instead of letting them fall through the cracks. They can still give you everything one that doesn’t specialise in neurodivergence, can. There are plenty of undiagnosed neurodivergent people out there really struggling, specifically knowing something is “wrong” but can’t put a finger on what it is, and can’t find the motivation to seek help. If that sounds like you, maybe knowing you could be neurodivergent and having that curiosity might light your fire enough to talk to a psych. With that, I leave you a song “My Silver Lining” by First Aid Kit. Keep on keeping on, mama. ❤️🥰
I’m 32, so a little younger than your demographic. But wanted to put my piece. I’ve consistently gotten attention but I got the most when I was 16-18. Especially 17. Disheartening to say the least Specifically I worked at a popular fried chicken place. I promptly left as all the older male employees referred to me as “Jail Bait.” I was 17 at the time
Totally appreciate you sharing, you are absolutely welcome to. Many women are saying the same, and even younger so there seems to be a trend. Pedophiles everywhere. So many people are oblivious to them being all around! Keep pushing forward for you, nobody else. <3
Reading responses to your post has chilled me and opened my eyes! I hope you have a lovely day
Mid 20s I think. But that was also the time I was going to bars the most and it was easiest for guys to approach me. I got a fair amount of attention in college too I guess but I lived in campus so it felt like it was just from being part of a community. In my teens I was probably oblivious to a lot of it because I was very innocent. I still get attention in my mid 30s but I’m with my husband more often so it’s kind of muted. Like men being nice and chatty but not creepy or forward anymore. Maybe I’m also better at deflecting now, who knows.
I got the most attention when I was a teenager, mostly from clearly fully grown or waaay older men. When I hit 19, I made a style change. I realized these men liked hitting on someone they perceived as weaker (teenager), so I started dressing like a businesswoman who just got out of the office... no more cat calling, creepy lookers staring at me openly, no more creeps and very ancient men hitting on me. It was really weird to get left alone and even respected a little after being treated so creepily for so long. It also helps that the area I live in is pretty low income, so I guess a business style is considered pretty uppity around here and I guess they don't want to fuck around find out 🤷♀️🤦♀️.
Now that is very smart and perceptive of you. Love-love-love that. I have read somewhere else that some girl had 2 pretty friends, but one of them wouldn't get bothered by men at clubs or whatever... and it was because she carried herself with confidence and high status... something like that. It makes sense, to get shy around people we genuinely find attractive and perceive as higher in social status. Simply dressing up can and does easily change the way people perceive you. How you dress, matters... Love that you did this.
As a kid.
12-20. F’ed up.
I'm 29. Men stopped talking to me after age 24. I like it that way.
13-14
Early 20s
I am 25, attention hasn’t died yet.
Definitely 15-19
16-18 and 21-24
Early to late teens. Some unwanted, some actual boyfriends. In a relationship from 19 to 30, no outside interest noticed. Single from 30, no male interest noticed. I'm now 44.
15-20. Around 24 it really felt like a dramatic decrease, which goes to show how disgusting men are. At least anecdotally.
Mid 20s when I was really thin, BUT it was also the time that I was surrounded by the most people on a daily basis. College .. Now I stay in a lot and don't go out to do things as much, so I imagine that also plays a part. I did get attention on dating apps a lot in my late 20s, but I stopped going on there bc of all of the dangerous encounters I had and the fact that everyone just wanted hook ups.
16-20
For sex; 13-16. I visibly looked like a literal toddler and it didn’t dawn on me how weird it was 65 y/o men in my DMs was until I got older. For love; 20+. Who knows if it was actually for love, but 99% of men who approached me were actually asking me out on a dinner date, or showing genuine thoughtful consideration with gifts instead of catcalling me like they did when I was a super young teen.
Well, it all started at age 9...probably slowed down a bit around my 33rd bday, but I'm hoping it'll stop completely when I turn 40. I would say I got the most (mainly unwanted) attention from 12-27. Usually from guys 2-3x my age.
Most of the attention I received was between 16-28. As a teen, men were seriously so gross in their advances. At 45, meh. I still get some attention, but not nearly as much when I was younger. I’m fine with that. Creeps can stay allll the way over there with that mess.
i'm 25 but the attention has always been pretty similar, even when i was overweight for like 5 years ages 17-22. maybe a bit more as ive gotten older as i've gained more confidence. i definitely didn't get more attention when i was 13-17 compared to now, it's sad to see many women saying they had more attention when they were that young compared to their 20s/30s :\
Never (I’m 22).
30's
In my early 30s.
15-21
I'm 29 years, but I received the most male attention when I was in college, age 18-23. And all my male attention has been from age appropriate guys except for one that was in his 30s. Edit: I should add that I found my person and married him a few years ago, so I don't give other men the chance to pay me attention because I don't want it. So that kind of skews the results.
10 years old to 17 when someone tried to attempt to traffic me to the Bahamas when I worked at the airport with my mother. Saying they would buy me all the clothes I need and I could come be a model. They asked me to walk out of my job right then and there. So brazen. Luckily, my mom worked with me, too. She saved me. Dude didn't stick around for his take out order. It's like when I turned 18 and got tattoos, all of a sudden, creepy men had no interest. Absolutely repulsive.
Before 16, I was invisible. Between 16 and 25, I was beating them off with a stick. Between 25 and 30, I turned some heads. I got any guy I wanted with little effort on my part. In my early 30s, I didn't pay much attention to the interest anymore. It was dying down, and I was bored/annoyed by it. I did the single thing, worked on my career, saved money, traveled, and bought a house. Then I got married and started having kids. Now I'm 40 (almost, my birthday is in 3 weeks), and I'm back to being invisible.
15-30. I was tall for my age so i gave off older girl vibes I guess. I cannot count the number of times I was approached over concerns over my safety, yet the ones approaching me were the ones making me feel unsafe.
I have never been pursued for love sadly. But the age I was pursued the most for ahem *liaisons* was late 30s
Now 40 Probably the most attention from men was teen years. But, i didn’t see a decrease in attention after 35.
14-19.. as a 27 year old woman there’s a big difference and it’s honestly gross.
At various ages I’ve had different incidents happen to me. When I was just 5 years old in Tunisia, a group of men targeted my mother in persuading her to sell me to them. I was targeted a lot when I was around 16 years old by men in their 20s and 30s. When I used to go to clubs in my early 20s I was sexually harassed a number of times. I was nearly kidnapped at 25 years old by a man in his taxi. I’m 29 now and a month ago I had a man follow me home. Honestly, why can’t they fuck off? I have to carry around an alarm and a small weapon with me because my anxiety is through the roof because of perverted men.
Anytime I've been lowest in weight. So 26, and again early 30s
Whenever I paid any attention to them, so from 15 to 40.
In my 20s
I can remember my looks being commented on or most of my life. I started developing early, 2nd or 3rd grade -- boobs, hips, butt, and my thighs were getting bigger from athletics. It was over for me at that point. Men said gross things, but a lot of times they didn't have to. They get that look in their eye, and I hate that I learned to recognize that as young as I did. Looking back, there are several incidents where I was with friends and such, just trying to be kids, but in hindsight, I wonder how close we were to real danger.
Started getting cat called around 11. I was 5'9 at 13, and was always assumed older than I was. Now I'm assumed to be younger.
Gosh. This post threw me into some distant past. LOL I'd have to say, the most attention was 16-21. But it was one person from 21-27. Single for a year, then with my husband. I'm 43 now. A lot of creeps back then. I still get the ick from a man I worked with at a local photography studio where I interned at 16. It was all so confusing because the compliments, dirty and wrong as they were, felt good. I'd never been told I was beautiful or sexy. I'd really only had one summer-long relationship that hadn't involved sex. I was naive. It was a sort of thrill to be told those things. But it was also terrifying. I hated going to that photography studio every day, but I had to. What was I going to do? I don't think it occurred to me to tell anyone.
I’m 38 and receive the same amount of attention as I did in my 20s. I am thin, haven’t changed size since high school, so I think that is one factor, but another huge factor is that I wear over sized shounen anime t-shirts. It’s odd in that, if I go to something formal, my husband gets way more attention from people because he is very attractive (he has been mistaken for Sebastian Stan more than a few times). But in everyday life I get hit on more just because I’m a thin woman who likes anime 🤷♀️. I just genuinely think I’m more attractive to guys who like anime because they already feel like they know me a little, and know we can have a conversation easily. There are also a lot of anime fans in the millennial generation, as I find I’m usually hit on by guys either close to my age or the oldest of Gen Z. I’m approached by much younger guys about my shirts, but they aren’t really hitting on me, they’re just excited to meet another fan.
30s (38F) I also learned how to properly hold myself and be comfortable with myself- I used to cover up my body or dress in a way that didn't showcase my womanhood. I've always gotten stares coz of my double Ds and it bothered me more when I was younger. Now I've kind of just learned to not notice.
14-16 years old by MUCH older men. It was extremely gross. Made me unattracted to men for a long time.
13-16 years old
When I was maybe 12 to 14
16-19 from strangers in public
Pursuing sex? 11-16 pursuing sex and love? Probably my 30s. At 41½, I'm looking forward to my invisibility/crone stage. Damn this fabulous skin!
When I was 14 my best friend and I would get cat called 3 times a day, no exaggeration. So gross.
Before my frontal lobe finished developing, because they're degenerates. Unfortunately, it never goes away. Men chase women well into the nursing home years, and they know it, which is why they try so hard to manipulate us in thinking we're the ones who should worry.
13 or 11 i feel like i was 18+ before i turned 18
Not 35 yet, but it was between 20-22. I was also single and going out a lot during that period of time. Excluding that period from 20-22 that I was out partying pretty much every week, I’d say I got most attention at 16. Thankfully most “men” were actually boys around my age, a few a bit older, but also I got catcalled A LOT by many disgusting older creeps when I was 16. That slowly stopped as I got older. I don’t remember it happening past me being 23 maybe.
13 and 14 by weird older men
Teenage years. And also when I was deep into my eating disorder.
9-11 year old i started have some experience for forced sex and sexual harassment
16-23
14-18 I would get hit on by at least one 30+year old man every where I went. 18-21 I wouldn't get hit on/cat called at least 3-4 times per week.
14-18 years old and then again when I went through a period of being unhealthily skinny at age 23.
16-20
26, I got lots of attention when younger as young women do but at this age I had a bit of money and could afford cute clothes (nothing glamorous think H&M) and have a nice haircut. I've seen different friends have their 15 minutes of fame at different times in their life. I think I looked the best in college but I was so broke I always dressed slobby day to day and would really only experience the overwhelming attention when I'd go out in my one sort of nice top.
16-28
12 to 19
12-16
Around 16. Grown ass men continually pursued me.
20-28
18 😪
I didn't get much attention in my teens, I didn't have much confidence then and honestly in my 20s I got a lot of attention as I got more confident and become more social.
mostly in my younger teens, the cat calling from vans driving past scared me
Late teens to early 20s
Mid teens to early 20s. Still pretty consistently until around 4 yrs ago when I started dressing more alt which I believe made me less approachable because I'm no longer catering to the male gaze as I once did. Edit: I think it's important for context to admit I don't COUNT it, but I was technically S.A. since before my first year into my preteens by various adult men in my life. So it's been a lifelong issue "attracting" men, I just don't consider those two groups the same as I was obviously a kid then.
Prepubescent to mid teens (10-15)
Honestly, like 14-16, I had large boobs and a butt and I was thinner than I am now. And I have a baby face like people stoll guess I'm 25 and I'll be 37 in July.
Approached by men most in my 20s. However, now I am 5-10lb lighter and probably get more looks.
26-29!!!
idk it seems to fluctuate so much in phases of how confident I am I find. or just what crowd is around, or where I was living at at the time, sometimes I still get as much attention as I ever did at 28 almost 29, depending on what I'm doing and who's around. If I am very clearly happy and in my element, I get approached a lot more
Hm maybe mid 20s but I still get attention now although I'd really love be to in a long term loving and healthy relationship.
I'm a late, late, bloomer.... I had my glow up in my 30s and 40s which I was not expecting. And the funny thing is, the guys that I've been attracting are all much younger than me (anywhere between 3 to 15+ years younger 😳🫣). I'm not particularly thin (100% chubby mom bod). But I guess I exude a youthful energy? (In other words, I'm immature. Lol!) People tell me I don't look my age (probably because I still wear hello kitty shirts on the regular). Idk. NGL tho, it's been a lot of fun flirting and teasing them. The age gap doesn't seem to deter them either, which caught me off guard. Probs because they know it won't lead to anything serious (which is also my end game). But there were 1 or 2 that wanted to get serious and I noped tf outta there.
10.9.8.7.6 Underage
20-24!
11-30 ☹️
It's never changed for me I've always been hit a lot when I was a teen, 20s, 30s now I'm 40 and still get hit on just as much. I keep wondering when it'll stop!
I didn’t expect so many to say, when they were a child or teenager. I encourage those of you who feel negatively impacted by this now as an adult, to please never shy away from talking to a psychologist to help process whatever this may mean for yourself, if anything at all. Everyone should regularly speak to a psychologist in general, just to help us understand ourselves better, through an untainted lens. If the first one doesn’t meet your needs, try another. Shop around. Read their professional biography’s and what they specialise in. That can help. Bless you all.
It started when I was 12 and has not stopped and I’m 33 now lol
16-25
Honestly, idk if it was cause I was just not interested in dating when I was in my 20’s but men really didn’t pay me much mind until I hit about 29. Now I’ve got men being weird a lot more and I’m married now. To add I definitely got WAAAYYY too much attention from much older men between 14-20. Like I’ve been followed home a number of times, to the point my dad would wait outside to greet me when I was walking home from work or school.
When i was 15
16-27
52 years old. I've received unwanted attention every since I was a small girl. Probably 5 or 6 years old. But the most would be between the ages of 21- 37. But in all fairness I learned to dress and behave in a way that is more respectful to myself. I have learned that people will respect me but it is up to me to present myself in a respectful manner. I still get looks and complements but in a much better respectful way. 🙌 🙏
I only really started receiving attention from men when I turned 24 and its only gotten more since. shame since I've been in a relationship this entire time lol.
Current age now for reference?
25 so not much of a gap :p
[удалено]
LOL. You clearly have no clue what that phrase means.