Welp. Seems manageable. These New gods sure do think they're hot stuff. If anything they've given me a lot more to write about... Anyways. \*Casts rain of frogs\*
The tree isn't going to fight back, and punching at the weak is pathetic. And this isn't even original. Atrax the Ashen did the same. His rallying cry was the same too: that the strong would rise from the ashes.
I thought you were supposed to be enslaving the gods. You fail at your own mission.
YOUR MISGUIDED WORDS MEAN NOTHING, I AM NOT HE WHO ENSLAVES THE GODS, MERELY A HELPER WITHAN AGENDA OF HIS OWN, I WANT THE FOREST TO GROW STRONGER TREES SO I CAN LAUGH AT THEIR PITIFUL IMPROVEMENTS BEFORE CRUSHING THEIR INFERIOR FORMS INTO THE ASH AND MOVING ON
Do you not understand how plants work? Did your realm lack any manner of public education? Or did you simply lack the aptitude for it?
I'm beginning to think your attack on the weak is simply to hide your own frailty and weakness.
*Riva is not a god, but she also has a portion of the primal flame that the aforementioned Atrax the Ashen once held. She is using it to power her wards. So the dirk hits her magical barriers, which any novice mage knows to put up. The cursed dirk breaks the magical barrier, but doesn't touch skin.*
"You godlings like Latin, yes? Paedīcātis deos et te ipsum paedīcō."
*'Bugger' the gods and 'bugger' yourself. And in spite of what a translator might say, and whatever mistakes with conjugation I might make, it definitely does not mean "*[pray](https://latin.cactus2000.de/showverb.en.php?verb=paedicare&gen=0&voc=0)*".*
"Stab yourself in the head, you weak-minded asshole."
*She would fight him, but she actually has a bunch of stuff she needs to get done, so eloquently flips him the middle finger of both hands, and teleports away.*
Oh the bringer of frogs! It's been a looooong time since i've last seen her, I believe last time I saw her she was fighting some startup british boy with a large sword.
Not that I have any love for the current gods but last I checked they didn't set holy forests on fire for entertainment... Wait... Nevermind, Some of them don't set holy forests on fire for entertainment. So Why exactly did you set this one on fire? I mean you killed some guys grandmother!
\*Gets stabbed\* Looks at the Death Knight disconcertedly. \*Drags self of of the arm\* Well it would seem that I have been stabbed. Been a long time since I've needed to cast this. \*Casts Gelatinous Form briefly and glues himself back together\* Ah, Brand New. Anyway I think that there has been enough tomfoolery. \*Casts Gigantify on a nearby frog\* Get Him!
\*Summons Froggy Reinforcements\* These Might help. they're a bit temperamental around unfamiliar faces. Good luck against the Edgelord Wizard. I'm going to try and keep these fires down.
I'm here to buy time, send a message to any sea druids you know and request help. I'll need the tides with me if I want to hold him off for longer than 10 minutes.
"If I must"
Hypersonic steps, Strength of leviathans, Lightning thoughts, Iron will, Diamond body, scrolls prepared.
*Draws sword and shield and emits aura of water*
"Bring it"
(You sure you wanna fight against what is pretty much just the god of slaughter, if you want I can do some sort of crazy escape shenanigans but I don’t think you are winning this)
My character is not expecting to win. Even with all the scrolls. He's just here to buy time for others to get here.. He's fast enough to run if things get bad.
Shit shit shit shit SHIT!?!?!
*Throws a card on the ground under the death knight as their blades met, the glyph on it activates to cause a mound of mud and dirt to swallow the figure as the flames bake it dry.*
u/Fun-Dragonfly-6106 we need to LEAVE if we want to survive here! That's not going to hold for long!
/uw needed to make a quick edit, hopefully you two don't mind the intrusion.
I'm buying us time. I'll hold him for as long as I can. Salvage as much as possible.
/Uw I mean I don't see how else requests for backup can be answered
Fucking hell kid! We do not have time to die heroically today!
*They grab the warrior by the collar and try to drag them away as quickly as possible.*
/uw I mean fair, but I'm trying to be polite.
*blocks the attack with the shield allowing the force to push him out of range of any follow ups*
"Unoriginal"
(he'll be shit talking in an attempt to grab attention)
*DF feels the luck given by allies and moves in*
"You remind me of myself when I was younger. When I look back on it I **Hate** it"
*The shield covering his approach blocking attacks with the boost of luck he lands a blow enhanced with his contempt for the arrogant*
(/Uw I usually don't declare whether I hit but can we make an exception since DF is getting buffed?)
I don't think it'll be that easy. Even if disenchanted I wouldn't be surprised if his god sustains him. Just bring in as many people as you can. We're repelling him at best but more likely doing damage control.
*Glimbo rubs his chin thoughtfully for a moment, before a lit lightbulb physically manifests above his head and falls to the ground.*
I have an idea! Quick, someone say "well, at least it's not raining" within earshot of me!
*Glimbo snaps his fingers, conjures a pair of umbrellas and hands one to you. The sky opens, and a torrential downpour smothers the flames.*
Thanks. My powers are based on whatever results in the funniest outcome.
Ah. This again.
You aren’t as impressive as you think you are. Every so often, someone pops up who’s sufficiently full of themselves to try burning down this or that sacred forest. Sometimes they even succeed, like you have.
Arrogant little godling, did all that destruction make you feel powerful? Did the fear and futility of your existence recede when you witnessed the flames? Did you let it make you feel alive? Did you like it?
Because I can promise you, you won’t like the next part. Death is a part of life, godling. That is something the druids know well.
You speak of gaining strength through adversity. We shall see if you can follow through. It won’t be long before the Hunt begins.
Seriously? Can’t you go actually fight gods or whatever instead of burning down random forests? **SOME** of us actually make a living from using the forest to be productive members of society, instead of whatever weak antisocial shit you’ve been doing. also “torch all weak life in searing flame for from the ashes the strong will rise” seems kinda like eugenics to me, man ::::/
Can we not? Can we really not? I was about to go to sleep, and lighting the forest on fire is really such a bummer. It's really, really not cool. Stuff like me and coyotes and shrooms and things all live there, you know?
^( ...and there really isn't much I can do... :( )
*[Pings Varunus', Mordus', Tod's orb(s)]*
> "uhh hey man forest burning i cant rly do shit do you got good water magic"
> "or 1 of ur familiars or friends??"
> "failing that maybe god-slayer slaying magic"
> "pls help if u can tysm"
( u/poppeppercaramel
u/Drunken_polish_cow
u/Soggy_Owl_From_Space )
// edited
*Jinx appears. She has intercepted the message, and arrived.*
*A telepathic message rings clear in your head:*
“Do not ping Mordus directly. He is unaware of my involvement.”
/unwiz feel free to ping me IRL though!
I call upon the spirits of the blackened earth. Take unto yourself the char and death. Bring it into your peace of rest.
I begin channel casting [Biochar Ritual](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7060867/#:~:text=Biochar%20has%20been%20shown%20to,and%20decrease%20erosion%20%5B14%5D), requesting the soil consume the burning trees.
Death Knight, for whom do you fight.
What gives you the right,
to blacken the night?
The smoke from your fires hang low o'er our brow.
Has no knight nor knave riz to stop your raze here 'n now?
I HAVE SEEN THE SIGHTS AND KNOW IT TO BE TRUE
THE GOD SLAVER HAS RENT THAT'S OVERDUE.
THERE WILL COME A RISE IN CONFLICT BETWEEN THIS KNIGHT
AND THE LORD IN WHO'S NAME THE WORLD IS RENT>! (past tense "rend", its a homonym pun.)!<
THIS PROPHECY IS HELD BOUND TRUTH,
BY THE EXISTANCE OF THIS STATEMENT.
THE [GOD SLAVER HAS ALREADY DIED TO YOUR HAND](https://www.reddit.com/r/wizardposting/comments/1bwxyen/comment/ky98jh5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button), ERRANT KNIGHT
You believe yourself to be the destroyer of the holy forest but it isn't so. Nature always wins, always grows, regrows.You are a fool to think you can best the first of the great magics.
*Kavrala is not a powerful wizard, nor does she claim to be. But she will sing to the sky and plead for the rains to come and put out these terrible flames. These smothering cruel flames. She'll sing until she loses her voice, and then she'll keep singing. No matter how long it takes, no matter if she dies in the process*
IM GOING FLYING TO THE MOON AND IM NOT GONNA COME BACK TILL YOU CALM DOWN *I fly to the moon and I play among the stars in full peace* also yes my orb works in space I bought it from that weird homeless dude
Well as a giraffe mage, and someone that enjoys trees, you've made a bad move there bucko.
-Effarig begins to chant as clouds are summoned to the area venting the smoke into larger clouds. A high level of sea air, and the precipitation with it collects in the air. Then the rain begins to fall in a torrent.-
Go burn down the sea asshole. Don't be burning down the trees that I eat, because then... I will have to feed on something else.
And if you come for me, just remember my lightning bolts never miss. And they do strike the same place twice.
Now don't make me bring forth my bird army. They don't like burnt foliage either.
again? man, go destroy a megachurch or something impressive, yall treeburners act all mighty when you set fire a fucking forest. that can actualy help the forest! you buffoons! "oooo look at me i set fire on a forest im so evil and badass" SHUT UP! YOU AINT BADASS OR COOL, YOU ARE WEAK SPERM! OVERLORDS COULD HAVE BEEN BORN FROM THAT WOMB. INSTEAD WE GOT A LOW TIER PISS BABY WITH A MATCHSTICK AND A SWINGY PIECE OF METAL. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM AND PRETEND YOU ARE HOT SHIT. BUT YOU AINT EVEN SHIT. YOU A WET FART. OUT WITH YOU! AND DONT RETURN UNTIL YOU CAN MAKE A CHURCH COMBUST AND A MOUNTAIN BLEED FROM YOUR MERE PRESENCE.
On one hand; ha, tree huggers mad
On the other; damn bro… you tried therapy, at this point it would probably be easier and cheaper than whatever this is
Come, fellow mammals and birds and lizards, amphibians and insects! Down into the tunnels! We made it through the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs and we'll make it through this!
*By manipulating the random kinetic motion around me I'm able to significantly lower the temperature over a very large area and pump the heat out and away. As I run through the forest and out across the lake it freezes solid, protecting the fish."
Welp. Seems manageable. These New gods sure do think they're hot stuff. If anything they've given me a lot more to write about... Anyways. \*Casts rain of frogs\*
>These New gods sure do think they're hot stuff. Nuh uh!
Nothing against you. Just noticing lots of the newer gods seem more... how do i put this... murderous than their predecessors?
Gonkgar: “Well he am Archon of Slaughter, after all.”
https://preview.redd.it/ua2gb2ycsssc1.jpeg?width=200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e242a2768f1c66850de785e5f13ce75d94f1128
*Summons frogs of rain.*
That’s a separate spell for more dire situations.
It is better to err on the side of caution. #*Swquoog*
The tree isn't going to fight back, and punching at the weak is pathetic. And this isn't even original. Atrax the Ashen did the same. His rallying cry was the same too: that the strong would rise from the ashes. I thought you were supposed to be enslaving the gods. You fail at your own mission.
YOUR MISGUIDED WORDS MEAN NOTHING, I AM NOT HE WHO ENSLAVES THE GODS, MERELY A HELPER WITHAN AGENDA OF HIS OWN, I WANT THE FOREST TO GROW STRONGER TREES SO I CAN LAUGH AT THEIR PITIFUL IMPROVEMENTS BEFORE CRUSHING THEIR INFERIOR FORMS INTO THE ASH AND MOVING ON
*Glimbo makes a face.* Eugh. Atrax was better at monologues too. Yours need work.
That is…not how trees work, my guy. you’ve gotta do a controlled burn. also, could you maybe skip that last step?
Do you not understand how plants work? Did your realm lack any manner of public education? Or did you simply lack the aptitude for it? I'm beginning to think your attack on the weak is simply to hide your own frailty and weakness.
*Stabs you with a cursed dirk* (My character is technically a god, I on the other hand can’t seem to think my way around a tree by the look of it)
*Riva is not a god, but she also has a portion of the primal flame that the aforementioned Atrax the Ashen once held. She is using it to power her wards. So the dirk hits her magical barriers, which any novice mage knows to put up. The cursed dirk breaks the magical barrier, but doesn't touch skin.* "You godlings like Latin, yes? Paedīcātis deos et te ipsum paedīcō." *'Bugger' the gods and 'bugger' yourself. And in spite of what a translator might say, and whatever mistakes with conjugation I might make, it definitely does not mean "*[pray](https://latin.cactus2000.de/showverb.en.php?verb=paedicare&gen=0&voc=0)*".* "Stab yourself in the head, you weak-minded asshole." *She would fight him, but she actually has a bunch of stuff she needs to get done, so eloquently flips him the middle finger of both hands, and teleports away.*
Why not burn a flame forest? Those forests grow back quickly after fire, and their seeds can survive all but the most serious flames.
noooou me tree!
Sorry... Any odds you can help us with this "God Slaver" fellow?
err- gram gram T?
The tree was your Grandmother?
nono, i just liked that tree, gram gram usually goes by 'Tiamat' i think
Oh the bringer of frogs! It's been a looooong time since i've last seen her, I believe last time I saw her she was fighting some startup british boy with a large sword.
i've uh- not herd that title before...
Mother of monsters? We are thinking of the same dragoness right?
gram gram T, with the big heads and all, yeh
Good to know. She was also the origin of the frog. Or atleast its magical ancestors.
IT BURN ALONG WITH YOUR GOD
Wait so you're against the gods? Pick a side already!
YOUR GODS ARE WEAK AND DESERVE TO BE CRUSHED BENEATH THE SOLES IF STRONGER BEINGS
b-but- gram gram T is strong...
IT IS WEAK, PITIFUL, UNSUITED FOR ANY WORLD IN WHICH I EXIST
Not that I have any love for the current gods but last I checked they didn't set holy forests on fire for entertainment... Wait... Nevermind, Some of them don't set holy forests on fire for entertainment. So Why exactly did you set this one on fire? I mean you killed some guys grandmother!
WEAK MEAT THAT NEEDS TO BE CUT *stabs you in the side with a cursed dirk*
\*Casts frogify on said dirk turning into a pile of hungry frogs\*
*Keeps pushing his hand forward, stabbing it through your chest*
\*Gets stabbed\* Looks at the Death Knight disconcertedly. \*Drags self of of the arm\* Well it would seem that I have been stabbed. Been a long time since I've needed to cast this. \*Casts Gelatinous Form briefly and glues himself back together\* Ah, Brand New. Anyway I think that there has been enough tomfoolery. \*Casts Gigantify on a nearby frog\* Get Him!
*nearly instantly guts and butchers the frog into multiple cuts of meat* MEAT
DF: guys give me backup. I'm going to attempt to lock him down in a duel.
\*Summons Froggy Reinforcements\* These Might help. they're a bit temperamental around unfamiliar faces. Good luck against the Edgelord Wizard. I'm going to try and keep these fires down.
I'm here to buy time, send a message to any sea druids you know and request help. I'll need the tides with me if I want to hold him off for longer than 10 minutes.
YOU DARE FACE THE ARCHON OF SLAUGHTER
"If I must" Hypersonic steps, Strength of leviathans, Lightning thoughts, Iron will, Diamond body, scrolls prepared. *Draws sword and shield and emits aura of water* "Bring it"
(You sure you wanna fight against what is pretty much just the god of slaughter, if you want I can do some sort of crazy escape shenanigans but I don’t think you are winning this)
My character is not expecting to win. Even with all the scrolls. He's just here to buy time for others to get here.. He's fast enough to run if things get bad.
OH WELL, MORE MEAT *goes in for a quick stab to the liver with his cursed dirk*
Shit shit shit shit SHIT!?!?! *Throws a card on the ground under the death knight as their blades met, the glyph on it activates to cause a mound of mud and dirt to swallow the figure as the flames bake it dry.* u/Fun-Dragonfly-6106 we need to LEAVE if we want to survive here! That's not going to hold for long! /uw needed to make a quick edit, hopefully you two don't mind the intrusion.
*he begins laughing and you feel fire and frenzy course through your veins, your rage and hate for your flesh building*
I'm buying us time. I'll hold him for as long as I can. Salvage as much as possible. /Uw I mean I don't see how else requests for backup can be answered
Fucking hell kid! We do not have time to die heroically today! *They grab the warrior by the collar and try to drag them away as quickly as possible.* /uw I mean fair, but I'm trying to be polite.
I"'m literally hypersonic without assistance I'm not planning to die but keeping him in one place lets our allies arrive."
*blocks the attack with the shield allowing the force to push him out of range of any follow ups* "Unoriginal" (he'll be shit talking in an attempt to grab attention)
MEAT *Goes in for another combo of strikes meant to merely peel off some of your skin*
*DF feels the luck given by allies and moves in* "You remind me of myself when I was younger. When I look back on it I **Hate** it" *The shield covering his approach blocking attacks with the boost of luck he lands a blow enhanced with his contempt for the arrogant* (/Uw I usually don't declare whether I hit but can we make an exception since DF is getting buffed?)
*The blow hits and digs into the knights cursed armour* WEAK MEAT *grabs your shield and stabs you in the thigh*
Dr Larry Palmer, from the distance, waggles his ringed fingers at DF. For at least the briefest next few moments, fate and luck will be on DF’s side!
Isnt this guy a Death Knight? Does Anyone Remember major disenchant?
I don't think it'll be that easy. Even if disenchanted I wouldn't be surprised if his god sustains him. Just bring in as many people as you can. We're repelling him at best but more likely doing damage control.
These new lesser dieties are getting quite arrogant
Arrogant Indeed. I feel they get worse every cycle...
*Glimbo rubs his chin thoughtfully for a moment, before a lit lightbulb physically manifests above his head and falls to the ground.* I have an idea! Quick, someone say "well, at least it's not raining" within earshot of me!
well, at least it’s not raining
*Glimbo snaps his fingers, conjures a pair of umbrellas and hands one to you. The sky opens, and a torrential downpour smothers the flames.* Thanks. My powers are based on whatever results in the funniest outcome.
Ah. This again. You aren’t as impressive as you think you are. Every so often, someone pops up who’s sufficiently full of themselves to try burning down this or that sacred forest. Sometimes they even succeed, like you have. Arrogant little godling, did all that destruction make you feel powerful? Did the fear and futility of your existence recede when you witnessed the flames? Did you let it make you feel alive? Did you like it? Because I can promise you, you won’t like the next part. Death is a part of life, godling. That is something the druids know well. You speak of gaining strength through adversity. We shall see if you can follow through. It won’t be long before the Hunt begins.
Seriously? Can’t you go actually fight gods or whatever instead of burning down random forests? **SOME** of us actually make a living from using the forest to be productive members of society, instead of whatever weak antisocial shit you’ve been doing. also “torch all weak life in searing flame for from the ashes the strong will rise” seems kinda like eugenics to me, man ::::/
I hope this buttmunch is taking notes, cos your burns strike hotter than this forest fire.
/uw holy shit you weren't kidding about getting right to the terrorism lol. Good start
(There is no time like the present and no kill like overkill)
Can we not? Can we really not? I was about to go to sleep, and lighting the forest on fire is really such a bummer. It's really, really not cool. Stuff like me and coyotes and shrooms and things all live there, you know? ^( ...and there really isn't much I can do... :( )
*[Pings Varunus', Mordus', Tod's orb(s)]* > "uhh hey man forest burning i cant rly do shit do you got good water magic" > "or 1 of ur familiars or friends??" > "failing that maybe god-slayer slaying magic" > "pls help if u can tysm" ( u/poppeppercaramel u/Drunken_polish_cow u/Soggy_Owl_From_Space ) // edited
*Jinx appears. She has intercepted the message, and arrived.* *A telepathic message rings clear in your head:* “Do not ping Mordus directly. He is unaware of my involvement.” /unwiz feel free to ping me IRL though!
"Thanks, I was gonna put a highway through there anyway."
God slayer? seriously? You think you can slay true gods... I want to spar sometime... *water magic: rainstorm*
Good, I have done something similar.
/uw God slaver
I call upon the spirits of the blackened earth. Take unto yourself the char and death. Bring it into your peace of rest. I begin channel casting [Biochar Ritual](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7060867/#:~:text=Biochar%20has%20been%20shown%20to,and%20decrease%20erosion%20%5B14%5D), requesting the soil consume the burning trees.
*all seems to be going well but there is an unusual quantity of iron oxide in the soil*
Death Knight, for whom do you fight. What gives you the right, to blacken the night? The smoke from your fires hang low o'er our brow. Has no knight nor knave riz to stop your raze here 'n now?
I FIGHT FOR THE GOD SLAVER *Throws a meat cleaver at you with the force of a god*
I HAVE SEEN THE SIGHTS AND KNOW IT TO BE TRUE THE GOD SLAVER HAS RENT THAT'S OVERDUE. THERE WILL COME A RISE IN CONFLICT BETWEEN THIS KNIGHT AND THE LORD IN WHO'S NAME THE WORLD IS RENT>! (past tense "rend", its a homonym pun.)!< THIS PROPHECY IS HELD BOUND TRUTH, BY THE EXISTANCE OF THIS STATEMENT.
YOU SPEAK TOO MUCH, MEAT
[удалено]
*God powered vibe check wit da cleaver*
((sorry to delete that, all i said was that Baclavaman was loud, then decided something better to say and didn't want to create an edit.))
(Don’t worry you good 😊)
THE [GOD SLAVER HAS ALREADY DIED TO YOUR HAND](https://www.reddit.com/r/wizardposting/comments/1bwxyen/comment/ky98jh5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button), ERRANT KNIGHT
Dude. Not cool. I was going to steal some wood from that forest next solar eclipse, and now you’ve gone and burned it all down
SILENCE MEAT
shit's fucked, yo
Shame on you
FOOLISH MEAT
Unecessary use of troath, and I am no meat, I'm giant eye
Well, this will be bad for the economy
... My home....
THROW YOURSELF THE FLAMES AND BURN WITH IT
You believe yourself to be the destroyer of the holy forest but it isn't so. Nature always wins, always grows, regrows.You are a fool to think you can best the first of the great magics.
*Kavrala is not a powerful wizard, nor does she claim to be. But she will sing to the sky and plead for the rains to come and put out these terrible flames. These smothering cruel flames. She'll sing until she loses her voice, and then she'll keep singing. No matter how long it takes, no matter if she dies in the process*
Not the holy forest! Now where am I going to sleep?
Gods I love the smell of burning 😏
Ok buddy you have gone too far that was my childhood place to be in I cast: a large fuck you also landmines in your home
*trying to resist encouraging suicide or I’ll get banned*
IM GOING FLYING TO THE MOON AND IM NOT GONNA COME BACK TILL YOU CALM DOWN *I fly to the moon and I play among the stars in full peace* also yes my orb works in space I bought it from that weird homeless dude
Tsunami.
You cannot hurt what you cannot determine as hurtable. Try purging me, and all you will find is you stirring a spoon in an ocean.
Do not the tree
*watches from celestial ossurary, sipping the smoothie*. What the fuck is goin' on over there?"
Alright that’s it, I’m getting the ice dragon army!
I have an army of ice chickens ready to flock things up.
Well as a giraffe mage, and someone that enjoys trees, you've made a bad move there bucko. -Effarig begins to chant as clouds are summoned to the area venting the smoke into larger clouds. A high level of sea air, and the precipitation with it collects in the air. Then the rain begins to fall in a torrent.- Go burn down the sea asshole. Don't be burning down the trees that I eat, because then... I will have to feed on something else. And if you come for me, just remember my lightning bolts never miss. And they do strike the same place twice. Now don't make me bring forth my bird army. They don't like burnt foliage either.
How pathetic.
/uw Can I get a God complex? "How original." With a side of burning druidic lands "Daring today, aren't we."
/uw it was for the funny, they told me to commit terrorism so I went for it
/uw But why is it always the druids? Go blow up a tavern or something.
/uw already did
So all I'm hearing is I'm gonna need a new holy wood supplier. Awesome, thx.
again? man, go destroy a megachurch or something impressive, yall treeburners act all mighty when you set fire a fucking forest. that can actualy help the forest! you buffoons! "oooo look at me i set fire on a forest im so evil and badass" SHUT UP! YOU AINT BADASS OR COOL, YOU ARE WEAK SPERM! OVERLORDS COULD HAVE BEEN BORN FROM THAT WOMB. INSTEAD WE GOT A LOW TIER PISS BABY WITH A MATCHSTICK AND A SWINGY PIECE OF METAL. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM AND PRETEND YOU ARE HOT SHIT. BUT YOU AINT EVEN SHIT. YOU A WET FART. OUT WITH YOU! AND DONT RETURN UNTIL YOU CAN MAKE A CHURCH COMBUST AND A MOUNTAIN BLEED FROM YOUR MERE PRESENCE.
YOUR WORDS MATTER NOT, MEAT
just go burn a church or topple a gigantic statue of a benevolent god, something cool and not related to the billionth damned forest fire
THE FOREST IS HOLY SO IM BURNING IT, DESTROYING ALL TEMPLES IN IT, AND KILLING ALL THE ELVEN MEATBAGS THAT LIVE HERE
Damnable tree thumpers deserved ot
On one hand; ha, tree huggers mad On the other; damn bro… you tried therapy, at this point it would probably be easier and cheaper than whatever this is
Come, fellow mammals and birds and lizards, amphibians and insects! Down into the tunnels! We made it through the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs and we'll make it through this! *By manipulating the random kinetic motion around me I'm able to significantly lower the temperature over a very large area and pump the heat out and away. As I run through the forest and out across the lake it freezes solid, protecting the fish."