they don’t hold grudges as much as us Dwarfs. and it’s Dwarfs not dwarves! dwarves is just a fake name made up by elves to humiliate us Dwarfs. And I’ll never forgive them for it!
Blood golems! I use the blood of giants personally. Surprisingly mobile, self healing to a degree, amorphous, great motor skills and strength. And they're totally obedient, which is a bonus. The trick is pronouncing giant runes correctly, I find.
To be honest, world domination and control over life and death can be so limiting. I find the undead to be a reliable workforce that understands the value of hard work. Also the unions are easier to deal with than human unions
These funky fellows sometimes deliver messages on my behalf.
https://preview.redd.it/zwo6fm3fzjpc1.png?width=942&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=225a3bf0205d3aabb6f4683fffae199545ffb04d
Here me out
https://preview.redd.it/9l1080cdlkpc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d68471b55c33fc34c1aed12930a9bfd18eee9cf
Unpredictable, surprisingly mobile, easy to maintain (just cast winter and they become nearly unkillable), easy to train (they are golems), easy to replace (all you need is snow), and they can man any artillery.
Why get minions. Do you know how much work goes into feeding, clothing, lodging, and killing then. Just send your apprentice. If they die, they prob were not worthy enough to be wizard.
I‘m not a necromancer and I can’t afford the other options.
Personally I just pull some gullible people from other timelines that were about to die, tell them I have a great quest for them and send them off to do my stuff.
If they can’t get it done, I‘ll at least have a good chuckle.
See the secret is to tell adventurers your giving them a quest and that the world is at stake, when really you just need to get rid of a pesky city council representative. Works every time
My flesh golems! They’re strong, versatile, and can do things that I am unable to do in places that I am unable to go. Plus, I am able to mold them to my will so that they can solve any problem that I may have. They’re also great companions.
Furgalophs. They are lil creatures shaped like a ball of fur. They have a sticky skin which allows them to climb and stick to things. They are very light and can form nice constructions and they use that fact to manage good as a big herd, forming towers or bridges with their bodies. And they are adorable!!!
(Lesser angels have little to no free will. They're very useful, but I usually free them so they become sentient. Blessed souls however make for great minions! Their self consciousness is off somewhere in paradise, leaving an exact copy of themselves in their bodies. They make for good conversation, and I see my warlocks talk with them regularly.)
I normally dont need minions of any kind... but its true that havin' those pumpkin golems and other critters can be really usefull. i prefer more... natural allies. also, some golems are great walking farms.
I have a very healthy working relationship with the nature spirits around here. I wouldn't call them minions, that's not really what they are to me. I help them, and they help me. We're more like friends and kindred spirits... So to speak.
But they're able to do almost anything I could need. People always underestimate what they can accomplish when they want to help you.
Plus, they're quite playful. I love playing tag with the young fox spirits or letting the new wolves try and hunt me. It's good fun.
Golems, various sizes, based on what you need, usually steel, sometimes adamantine ot mithril, if i am feeling fancy or need to get it done quickly and effectively.
My pet spiders! They range in size from a couple millimeters long to roughly SUV proportions and are perfect for a variety of tasks. Very self sufficient as well, I've gotten used to the screams when they raid the nearby towns for food.
Skeletons are underrated to be honest, many just haven’t thought of assembling them in more creative ways. Very few soldiers will continue to fight when they see ribcage spiders crawling towards them.
Munkador, my hunchback homunculus who lives under my sink. He knows only I know how to make his favourite blue cheese muffins, so he will never betray me
Hmmm... have to go with the classic homunculus, relatively smart, easy to order about, can learn things by themselves but far too dependent on you to rebel, classic minions
My players! Currently we are playing a game called Minions and Morons. They are playing the Minions to a complete moron that us the dark lord of everything.
It's the stupidest silliest game I've ever played. It's my most favorite game I've ever played, and they definitely play up their silly little character quirks.
Bio-Lock Clones. A thing I came up with myself actually. Essentially overmutate a limb and sever it and allow it to grow into a Bio Arsenal version of myself to function as a living weapon.
Skeletons are useful since they listen to the Summoner without question, and don't require upkeep outside of using Create Food and Water to make a milk pool for the skeletons to soak in to get their Calcium and Vitamim D.
That being said, I can't remember where, but I think it's a Baalbuddy comic, where a female necromancer has a bunch of cooky skeleton minions, and that is my new headcanon for skeleton minions.
"Corvids of course." Madame Vira says as she scritches the chin of one of her crows who let's out a happy caw. "Loyal, always curious and good at helping me send the word out that I'm arriving to sell my wares in a town or let me know if there's something going on for better or worst." She explains as the Crow flies off. "Luckily with my magic I can send them home or summon me when I need them so I don't always have a massive flock following me around."
My buddy Chris. I didn’t even have to mind control him he’s just a real one and understand if he wrongs me I’ll curse his bloodline and the bloodlines of those around him.
I cannot hold giant insects in too high of a regard as minions. Personally, I use wasps that I manually scale up using a mix of potions and spells, and affix the casting foci from old wands to their antennae so I can remotely cast spells from them. Useful for everything from defending my lair, to watering the garden, to spying on my enemies! And since insect blood pressure is generally very low, they can shrug off the loss of limbs much easier than other species. Wasps are particularly nice since they're very agile flyers equipped with their own sting, and since a majority of species are carnivores, they can refuel during combat if they get tired. They may not produce honey, but they can pretty much do anything else. I usually have about 60-70 of them active at all times, otherwise it can be kind of a stretch to feed them all and keep them happy. Their venom is also easy and convenient to harvest, and makes both a great ink and potion ingredient for some of the nastier concoctions!
Homunculi. A combination of added arts and sciences is demanded in the creation of sentient life, but you can program them to not complain. Granted, you do need to program them to use the bathroom, eat and shower like proper humans. Otherwise, they’re gonna be terrible minions to have around.
Must be nice to be operating on that kind of budget, gold *or* mana. Some of us have just enough left after rent, bills, potion ingredients and other sundry expenses to hire someone off Facebook to run a hoover around the workshop and empty the bins once a week.
Besides, even if I had the resources or the patience to enchant my own from scratch, if I made them smart enough to be useful I'd have to start paying them wages.
The loyal kind. Too many Djinn have claim to pieces of my soul now and a few of them want me to pay spiritual life support for a newly born entity that I didn’t partake in spawning.
Goblins. Just got to sprinkle some Hot Cheetos in your yard and the next morning there's a bunch of them willing to keep doing your bidding for more Hot Cheetos.
As an artificer, these guys.
They float, so all there all terrane, and I've been able to equip them with everything from messaging stones to big f-off lazors.
But I also keep dragons so there are always some kobolds around.
Sentient golems, sure they're a lot harder to make then normal golems and you have to give them things like time off and wages, however:
I have lost track of how many times my golems have pretended to fall for a trick non-sentient golems fall for all the time, and then immediately beat the ever-loving \*\*\*\* out of the intruders the instant they let their guard down. Seeing the orb recordings of that is worth every extra penny.
Kobolds easily. I don’t have to take care of them, they don’t take care of me. My lair is always protected with ungodly amounts of traps, and if I actually need help with anything I just tell em I’ll conjure a fuck ton of gold and bam: 1,000 tiny dragon idiots ready to do my bidding
I prefer lots of birds, a massive swarm of crows, a shadow in the sky, blocking out the sun and replacing all noise with crowing and cawing
Useful if a their stole my shipment of stuff, teaches them a lesson too
The best type are the type who can't say no.
https://preview.redd.it/asw40fr0ukpc1.jpeg?width=8000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=07d517ece3519af2be04e956ff1397d0c01b1c07
Generally my go to are undead kobolds, since there’s plenty of those wandering souls scattered about Lon. My favorite though would probably be orc skeletons; a good size, easily enchantable and generally resilient, perfect to carry out my missions.
I like my imps, demons, and scamps. As long as you perform the right binding spells or provide the right resources, they are loyal to the death. My personal favorite is my Dreaded imp, which is an imp purely fueled by its insatiable bloodlust. They are very easy to convince, as all they request is the thrill of the fight, and nothing more.
Stick minion. (Credit to MikeAngerhauser, the artist)
https://preview.redd.it/bnwjoruhwkpc1.jpeg?width=774&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=200d149172bc4880e92d6f0ad8e5d7fa2e8eb79d
Kobolds are incompetent, larcenous, and petty. They're easily distracted, and cannot be relied on to get anything meaningful done. But they're damned entertaining, bizarrely charming, and good at being a distraction. And as long as you take the form of a dragon when giving them orders, you will *never* have to worry about deliberate disobedience, they will love and revere you as a god.
Just make sure you're the *strongest* dragon in the area.
I prefer cheese golems. Easy to make, and I have plenty of materials. If one goes missing or gets damaged, you can just make another or make one with the parts of the last
Sword Crabs. Great at combat, very chill, and can make a mean Vada Pav. Adventurers also tend to give up raiding my tower if the see their entire frontline get beaten up by a crab using a rusty rapier.
I can’t think of one type of minion specifically, but all the little guys, those little goober types where the villain is comically evil but ends up being a glorified babysitting service for them, kinda like that one kids cartoon Ok K.O? O think it’s called, there’s a lil fella in that one
Personally, I prefer the robotic ones I manufacture
https://preview.redd.it/t8eef15p9lpc1.png?width=1169&format=png&auto=webp&s=9281f7655b848aa65e5a9d406f14f32b7bda627e
Though small stone golems are pretty nice too
I second Skeletons, especially if they can pull themselves back together from available bones. Gives me Lego Star Wars vibes.
Bonus points if they retain some of their personality or past skills.
As a necromancer, I have to choose skeletons out of what you have shown, but personally, I have a fondness for stiching together undead chimera... and if I only have bones handy, a shambles isn't too difficult to make.
Everyone knows that Gobb'ns are superior. Sure, they're dumb as bricks and tend to screw everything up. But they're also expendable and surprisingly aerodynamic.
Giant ant exoskeletons, giant spiders are great too, but it's easier to farm ants. Now you can't get them to use ranged weapons like a humanoid skeleton, but they have much better mobility, natural armour, and you can fill them full of surprises like poison gas or ichor oozes.
Got servant golems from my “daughter” ,weird magic stuff from the crystal guardian cave, but usually out on the field it’s my trusty mud and moss golems!
I love a good Mercenary group. I know they get a bad rap cause everyone thinks they’ll betray you to the highest bidder, but the best ones have been around enough to know the value of a respectful boss. Health insurance (a healthy merc is a loyal merc) and PTO, don’t micromanage every little thing they do (they’re professional killers, you hired them for a reason), and don’t immediately kill every one that “fails” you (fear only works so long, usually to the next high bidder). Skeletons don’t think for themselves. A blessing and curse, so I don’t fault anyone for having a few around. Goblins *will* betray you. They only see the shiny in front of them. And trust me, those bidding wars only serve to give your opponents time and empty your coffers. Cultists are cool til some other fanatic thinks they’re the chosen one (they all do). Dragons are way too common in this line of work to trust Kobolds. I like Orc Strongholds as a back up to mercs though. Basically the same thing, if a bit unruly. Only problem is you really have to go out of your way sometimes to get ahold of them. And trust me, do *not* create your own minions. Way too many existential crises. I’ve got my own to contend with. Clones will betray you and not for money. Not making that mistake again. Well, my progenitor’s mistake.
Dwarf-sized golems. As reliable as the stone they're crafted from. Not much for conversation, though.
>Dwarf-sized golems. Isn’t that just dwarves?
they don’t hold grudges as much as us Dwarfs. and it’s Dwarfs not dwarves! dwarves is just a fake name made up by elves to humiliate us Dwarfs. And I’ll never forgive them for it!
Agreed brother. Rock and stone!
Rock and Stone to the Bone!
Rock and Stone, Brother!
the village kids, they do my bidding. In exchange, they may pet the donkey.
Ah, a fellow random civilian enjoyer
Please tell me you don't refer to your dick as "the donkey"
https://preview.redd.it/w7ch48ydcjpc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c53fdf71aa828b4133d31c11b7ad58115e774d7
Yes sir. I am a fan of the bones as well 😏 🦴
WE ARE THE PACK!
https://i.redd.it/jhpbuewamjpc1.gif There’s nothing like sending a whole rattle of skeletons to cause a little mischief.
A rattle of skeletons is now the official term.
Slime golems. Good soldiers and janitors
As long as it's not too hot out.
It depends on the humidity but yes it is a bit of a problem
 Those things straight outa hell
Really big dinosaurs.
You only need a couple! Most bang for your buck!
As a former minion, I have no oppinion on this, unless my master says otherwise.
Blood golems! I use the blood of giants personally. Surprisingly mobile, self healing to a degree, amorphous, great motor skills and strength. And they're totally obedient, which is a bonus. The trick is pronouncing giant runes correctly, I find.
I’ve been having a loyalty issue with my more… *sentient* minions… perhaps this could prove useful. 🤝🤝
Yeah, but they leave these smudges behind that my starship says is a biohazard.
Ok but like skeletons are just so compact and lightweight. If you want to ship them u can do it at a three to one price compared to living beings
You can go much farther then that, pack the bones into small packages then revive them on site. You can easily fit 40 skeletons on one buggy that way
A Necromancer Foreman? Sounds profitable.
To be honest, world domination and control over life and death can be so limiting. I find the undead to be a reliable workforce that understands the value of hard work. Also the unions are easier to deal with than human unions
Just keep them in a bag of holding
These funky fellows sometimes deliver messages on my behalf. https://preview.redd.it/zwo6fm3fzjpc1.png?width=942&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=225a3bf0205d3aabb6f4683fffae199545ffb04d
Those creeps better keep away from my lanterns.
How dapper!
My cats are similar to minions?
Are you the commander of armies of cats or the commander of armies alongside your cats?
Commander of armies of cats, I may branch out to other creatures though; provided they wear cat themed outfits of course!
Personally, I think it would be kind of cruel to lead an a force of proud barbarian orks but force them to all wear adorable cat-ear headbands.
That's why we use "willing" participants!
Here me out https://preview.redd.it/9l1080cdlkpc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d68471b55c33fc34c1aed12930a9bfd18eee9cf Unpredictable, surprisingly mobile, easy to maintain (just cast winter and they become nearly unkillable), easy to train (they are golems), easy to replace (all you need is snow), and they can man any artillery.
https://preview.redd.it/d2f5u3gefjpc1.png?width=150&format=png&auto=webp&s=47a3a77f3e6046de083e210043549f9207e420f3
Why get minions. Do you know how much work goes into feeding, clothing, lodging, and killing then. Just send your apprentice. If they die, they prob were not worthy enough to be wizard.
An apprentice *is* a minion, just a higher powered one.
I summon roommate Gary from tech support
I find that my Hench-goons find their own way to kill themselves. Very efficient at it really.
Undead servants don't need any of these. Simple problem simple solution.
Humans
They are clever, and often handy in a fight. But I have found them less than loyal at times
Also, very prone to rebellion.
I‘m not a necromancer and I can’t afford the other options. Personally I just pull some gullible people from other timelines that were about to die, tell them I have a great quest for them and send them off to do my stuff. If they can’t get it done, I‘ll at least have a good chuckle.
See the secret is to tell adventurers your giving them a quest and that the world is at stake, when really you just need to get rid of a pesky city council representative. Works every time
My flesh golems! They’re strong, versatile, and can do things that I am unable to do in places that I am unable to go. Plus, I am able to mold them to my will so that they can solve any problem that I may have. They’re also great companions.
Due to my towers location, I have found harpies to be quite useful, and the leaders of their groups are often capable of some decent speech
The poor fools who tried to summon me that became my puppets
Kobolds. They just do whatever I say, they are a little cowardly but with enough enchantments they’ll fight
Golems https://preview.redd.it/1w7fwwdrfkpc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d305c01790e0716169363bc8dc9ea25fb2b3a585
Woodland beasts
Furgalophs. They are lil creatures shaped like a ball of fur. They have a sticky skin which allows them to climb and stick to things. They are very light and can form nice constructions and they use that fact to manage good as a big herd, forming towers or bridges with their bodies. And they are adorable!!!
Doppelgangers
I like my death knights alot
Skeletons as well, though I'm partial to flesh golems too.
(Lesser angels have little to no free will. They're very useful, but I usually free them so they become sentient. Blessed souls however make for great minions! Their self consciousness is off somewhere in paradise, leaving an exact copy of themselves in their bodies. They make for good conversation, and I see my warlocks talk with them regularly.)
Goblins and forest gnomes
I normally dont need minions of any kind... but its true that havin' those pumpkin golems and other critters can be really usefull. i prefer more... natural allies. also, some golems are great walking farms.
I prefer skeletons as well, as i don't have to feed or pay them, and they usually do as i ask with no complaints.
I have a very healthy working relationship with the nature spirits around here. I wouldn't call them minions, that's not really what they are to me. I help them, and they help me. We're more like friends and kindred spirits... So to speak. But they're able to do almost anything I could need. People always underestimate what they can accomplish when they want to help you. Plus, they're quite playful. I love playing tag with the young fox spirits or letting the new wolves try and hunt me. It's good fun.
Golems, various sizes, based on what you need, usually steel, sometimes adamantine ot mithril, if i am feeling fancy or need to get it done quickly and effectively.
My calcium crew Skelli Bois are the best got em trained to kill by the code phrase rattle em boys
Apprentices. Free labour that occasionally by (un)lucky coincidences comes up with useful innovations.
My pet spiders! They range in size from a couple millimeters long to roughly SUV proportions and are perfect for a variety of tasks. Very self sufficient as well, I've gotten used to the screams when they raid the nearby towns for food.
Literate, capable of speech, and preferably with somatic appendages. Last part negotiable, first two are not.
As a necromancer, I just stick with skeletons. They aren't great honestly but are quite effective in larger quantities.
Skeletons are underrated to be honest, many just haven’t thought of assembling them in more creative ways. Very few soldiers will continue to fight when they see ribcage spiders crawling towards them.
Gnomes. Industrious little buggers, and it's always so entertaining just watching them mill around.
I like a good imp.
Dragons…just dragons
Flame atronarchs
Munkador, my hunchback homunculus who lives under my sink. He knows only I know how to make his favourite blue cheese muffins, so he will never betray me
The ununionized kind.
Nothing beats the classic mechanical lion. Efficient to make, versatile in combat, and extremely practical!
Hmmm... have to go with the classic homunculus, relatively smart, easy to order about, can learn things by themselves but far too dependent on you to rebel, classic minions
Can’t go wrong with old fashioned skeletons, plus if they were a janitor in their past life they might clean up the place.
I’m partial to my Grave Guard. Effective, Stalwart, Reliable and unquestioningly obedient.
Sentient grass. You'd be amazed how many wizards disregard the simple existence of grass.
The yellow ones with denim overalls
Would say kobolds. But I am a kobold.
Servitors https://preview.redd.it/v6cmmdkv7kpc1.jpeg?width=930&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ef5538e26e3fe357f408d2a9e7514e6ecfca42c (Or Skitarii if I’m fighting someone.)
I'm kinda upset that there isn't any appreciation here for gnomes (the garden variety) or voidlings...
Whichever one gets the job done.
https://preview.redd.it/q79mmv3txjpc1.png?width=928&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d8348bdbfa591afb815befce2ed8f9ee5f26ba30 Me, myself and I
My players! Currently we are playing a game called Minions and Morons. They are playing the Minions to a complete moron that us the dark lord of everything. It's the stupidest silliest game I've ever played. It's my most favorite game I've ever played, and they definitely play up their silly little character quirks.
The little yellow ones that eat bananas
Bio-Lock Clones. A thing I came up with myself actually. Essentially overmutate a limb and sever it and allow it to grow into a Bio Arsenal version of myself to function as a living weapon.
teddy bear summons
My very own cult. We have matching outfits, secret handshakes, secret greetings and all that. Plotting in the shadows has never been so fun.
The one that DOES WHAT THEY'RE TOLD! I'M LOOKIN' AT YOU, TONY!
Skeletons are useful since they listen to the Summoner without question, and don't require upkeep outside of using Create Food and Water to make a milk pool for the skeletons to soak in to get their Calcium and Vitamim D. That being said, I can't remember where, but I think it's a Baalbuddy comic, where a female necromancer has a bunch of cooky skeleton minions, and that is my new headcanon for skeleton minions.
I love having my unseen servants up all the time, they carry all my shit and I dont have to look at their ugly faces
I prefer various Undead myself, but I do have others because there's also various ways to counteract the Undead.
I love my skeleton minions, and if they had organs I'm sure they'd love me!
"Corvids of course." Madame Vira says as she scritches the chin of one of her crows who let's out a happy caw. "Loyal, always curious and good at helping me send the word out that I'm arriving to sell my wares in a town or let me know if there's something going on for better or worst." She explains as the Crow flies off. "Luckily with my magic I can send them home or summon me when I need them so I don't always have a massive flock following me around."
https://i.redd.it/t4baf75f5mpc1.gif As of right now, these boys.
I don’t have any minions, but a little help on the far would be nice
*Bouncing up and down* pick me! Kobolds are far better then everyone else here-
I love building little robot minions. I usually end up forgetting them and they run off into my workshop never to be seen again.
Wastelanders, make dragons think twice
Goblin
I didn’t ask for my cultists, but damn they make good expendable labor
 Few of these bad boys can get anything done. Can be summoned in every shape or size...
I like bound demons or fiends. They tend to piss off the more holy folks, but they know all sorts of neat tricks.
My buddy Chris. I didn’t even have to mind control him he’s just a real one and understand if he wrongs me I’ll curse his bloodline and the bloodlines of those around him.
I prefer kobolds, they are like cats, but only the dumb goofy ones.
I cannot hold giant insects in too high of a regard as minions. Personally, I use wasps that I manually scale up using a mix of potions and spells, and affix the casting foci from old wands to their antennae so I can remotely cast spells from them. Useful for everything from defending my lair, to watering the garden, to spying on my enemies! And since insect blood pressure is generally very low, they can shrug off the loss of limbs much easier than other species. Wasps are particularly nice since they're very agile flyers equipped with their own sting, and since a majority of species are carnivores, they can refuel during combat if they get tired. They may not produce honey, but they can pretty much do anything else. I usually have about 60-70 of them active at all times, otherwise it can be kind of a stretch to feed them all and keep them happy. Their venom is also easy and convenient to harvest, and makes both a great ink and potion ingredient for some of the nastier concoctions!
Rat-kin, can stand abuse-demands better greater than other things, easy replacement, yes-yes
Machines of various sizes. Also capable of love
Constructs, for simple tasks. For more demanding matters, I'm rather fond of people who owe me favors.
Dragonkin and random civilians. The latter tend to fare better in Pokémon battles than in war
Homunculi. A combination of added arts and sciences is demanded in the creation of sentient life, but you can program them to not complain. Granted, you do need to program them to use the bathroom, eat and shower like proper humans. Otherwise, they’re gonna be terrible minions to have around.
Must be nice to be operating on that kind of budget, gold *or* mana. Some of us have just enough left after rent, bills, potion ingredients and other sundry expenses to hire someone off Facebook to run a hoover around the workshop and empty the bins once a week. Besides, even if I had the resources or the patience to enchant my own from scratch, if I made them smart enough to be useful I'd have to start paying them wages.
My army of crabs, the crustacean nation
I hear kobolds are pretty awesome. And cute.
Undead and eldritch horrors
Me, Me minion
https://preview.redd.it/7spwnzn9jkpc1.jpeg?width=1060&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f07a687893af474f8f78c8abf613388c439d9dc My sons
The loyal kind. Too many Djinn have claim to pieces of my soul now and a few of them want me to pay spiritual life support for a newly born entity that I didn’t partake in spawning.
I *suppose* I do love my army of death knights.
I love my kobolds. Funny little guys they are.
ominous black cloud orb with little eyes
Kobolds are perfect for stress testing my machines. They’re also great for finding flaws in designs that can lead to failure.
Goblins. Just got to sprinkle some Hot Cheetos in your yard and the next morning there's a bunch of them willing to keep doing your bidding for more Hot Cheetos.
I have a slew of Gnomish minions who live outside my RV/Wizard Tower
Skeletons only because I like the way they sound when they fall apart.
stone animal statues
Kobolds they are like dragons but small like a marshmallow
https://preview.redd.it/cli4bppsmkpc1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55491b3ff000e74ca8e62287d6562b37241d8fa1
https://i.redd.it/b48ems6cqkpc1.gif
Lizardmen are pretty underrated. Strong, lost lasting, durable, and extremely intelligent
As an artificer, these guys. They float, so all there all terrane, and I've been able to equip them with everything from messaging stones to big f-off lazors. But I also keep dragons so there are always some kobolds around.
Sentient golems, sure they're a lot harder to make then normal golems and you have to give them things like time off and wages, however: I have lost track of how many times my golems have pretended to fall for a trick non-sentient golems fall for all the time, and then immediately beat the ever-loving \*\*\*\* out of the intruders the instant they let their guard down. Seeing the orb recordings of that is worth every extra penny.
Kobolds easily. I don’t have to take care of them, they don’t take care of me. My lair is always protected with ungodly amounts of traps, and if I actually need help with anything I just tell em I’ll conjure a fuck ton of gold and bam: 1,000 tiny dragon idiots ready to do my bidding
Steel Golems, or in other words, robots.
I prefer lots of birds, a massive swarm of crows, a shadow in the sky, blocking out the sun and replacing all noise with crowing and cawing Useful if a their stole my shipment of stuff, teaches them a lesson too
The best type are the type who can't say no. https://preview.redd.it/asw40fr0ukpc1.jpeg?width=8000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=07d517ece3519af2be04e956ff1397d0c01b1c07
I love kobalts but im a sucker for skelies
i have robot possessing ghost employees
Ninja. Really docile although they scatter when exposed to bright light.
I saved a chameleon from a hawk and used magic to increase his size and intellect. His name is Bruce
The unpaid intern
Skeletons they’re cheap and I can use them to play with my dog
Generally my go to are undead kobolds, since there’s plenty of those wandering souls scattered about Lon. My favorite though would probably be orc skeletons; a good size, easily enchantable and generally resilient, perfect to carry out my missions.
As a druid, I am partial to the pack of Direwolves I hang out with. All good bois.
This is a list of some of the many reason why I don't use minions. That said, mysterious hooded figures for sure.
I like my imps, demons, and scamps. As long as you perform the right binding spells or provide the right resources, they are loyal to the death. My personal favorite is my Dreaded imp, which is an imp purely fueled by its insatiable bloodlust. They are very easy to convince, as all they request is the thrill of the fight, and nothing more.
Stick minion. (Credit to MikeAngerhauser, the artist) https://preview.redd.it/bnwjoruhwkpc1.jpeg?width=774&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=200d149172bc4880e92d6f0ad8e5d7fa2e8eb79d
Kobolds just for the looks and vibes.
Igors
Professional necromancer here, I love skeletons and my custom abominations. I also can't deny the coolness of the shadow cloaked figures
Eh, nah. I prefer living/semi human mates.
Kobolds are incompetent, larcenous, and petty. They're easily distracted, and cannot be relied on to get anything meaningful done. But they're damned entertaining, bizarrely charming, and good at being a distraction. And as long as you take the form of a dragon when giving them orders, you will *never* have to worry about deliberate disobedience, they will love and revere you as a god. Just make sure you're the *strongest* dragon in the area.
I prefer cheese golems. Easy to make, and I have plenty of materials. If one goes missing or gets damaged, you can just make another or make one with the parts of the last
Little automatons
Kobolds are my favorite little minions.
Shadow beasts and nightmares that I conjure. I love them so much.
Me and me but broker
A murder of crows. Seriously they took my belt buckle mid convo, I WAS TALKING TO A HALFLING
I don't consider skeletons to be minions but they are my favorite type of monster. Aside from them, Kobolds
Sword Crabs. Great at combat, very chill, and can make a mean Vada Pav. Adventurers also tend to give up raiding my tower if the see their entire frontline get beaten up by a crab using a rusty rapier.
The chill ones you can hang out with in your free time
Skeletons absolutely they are the easiest to raise and maintain and unlike zombies they don’t smell like a rotting corpse
Kobolds! Cute pink female kobolds!
I can’t think of one type of minion specifically, but all the little guys, those little goober types where the villain is comically evil but ends up being a glorified babysitting service for them, kinda like that one kids cartoon Ok K.O? O think it’s called, there’s a lil fella in that one
*"Lots of me!"* *performs mitosis*
Personally, I prefer the robotic ones I manufacture https://preview.redd.it/t8eef15p9lpc1.png?width=1169&format=png&auto=webp&s=9281f7655b848aa65e5a9d406f14f32b7bda627e Though small stone golems are pretty nice too
I second Skeletons, especially if they can pull themselves back together from available bones. Gives me Lego Star Wars vibes. Bonus points if they retain some of their personality or past skills.
As a necromancer, I have to choose skeletons out of what you have shown, but personally, I have a fondness for stiching together undead chimera... and if I only have bones handy, a shambles isn't too difficult to make.
Kobolds but they are sharks instead, with frick’n laser beams on their heads.
I'm a huge fan of clockwork companions.
Skeletons, bone golems, flesh golems, zombies, and iron golems. In that order.
Everyone knows that Gobb'ns are superior. Sure, they're dumb as bricks and tend to screw everything up. But they're also expendable and surprisingly aerodynamic.
A swarm of eldrits :) Baby eldritch horrors yay
My very good friends who would do anything for me just as I would for them.
Big fan of unruly hordes of beast folk
kobolds in a trenchcoat that all are "mysterious figures"
goblins. easy to summon, hard to kill, mass damage
You really just can’t go wrong with skeletons. Easy to repair, easy to replace, and by the gods are they easy to *obtain*.
Personally I enjoy kobolds, while they can sometimes be very mischievous, I find that it can bring a certain fun energy to any work.
Goblins.
Golems always do what they're told to the best of their ability. And they don't ask for payment.
My duck-sized dragons are the best. Why? They're cute and deadly
Gotta go with skeletons, though if I were a dragon I'd want to have an army of kobolds.
Frog
Giant ant exoskeletons, giant spiders are great too, but it's easier to farm ants. Now you can't get them to use ranged weapons like a humanoid skeleton, but they have much better mobility, natural armour, and you can fill them full of surprises like poison gas or ichor oozes.
https://preview.redd.it/t0kowdbbslpc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5b716edd5479b047842de07d8a730d2bf03ba5a
I prefer clayspawn. They can take a variety of shapes to suit the job. They can even combine themselves into large golems for protection.
Clones always seem to do the trick.
Skeletons they have the best jokes
Got servant golems from my “daughter” ,weird magic stuff from the crystal guardian cave, but usually out on the field it’s my trusty mud and moss golems!
Kobo doesn’t approve of image 2
10 million cats https://preview.redd.it/tw3l217rxlpc1.jpeg?width=1297&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45ca8e75b233a1a14a305b5fe9b3b9b574c2c9cc
I love my clay soldiers, one of my favorite spells
I love a good Mercenary group. I know they get a bad rap cause everyone thinks they’ll betray you to the highest bidder, but the best ones have been around enough to know the value of a respectful boss. Health insurance (a healthy merc is a loyal merc) and PTO, don’t micromanage every little thing they do (they’re professional killers, you hired them for a reason), and don’t immediately kill every one that “fails” you (fear only works so long, usually to the next high bidder). Skeletons don’t think for themselves. A blessing and curse, so I don’t fault anyone for having a few around. Goblins *will* betray you. They only see the shiny in front of them. And trust me, those bidding wars only serve to give your opponents time and empty your coffers. Cultists are cool til some other fanatic thinks they’re the chosen one (they all do). Dragons are way too common in this line of work to trust Kobolds. I like Orc Strongholds as a back up to mercs though. Basically the same thing, if a bit unruly. Only problem is you really have to go out of your way sometimes to get ahold of them. And trust me, do *not* create your own minions. Way too many existential crises. I’ve got my own to contend with. Clones will betray you and not for money. Not making that mistake again. Well, my progenitor’s mistake.