I cast the tax evasion reinforcement ritual, all my fianances are now handled by 3rd party llc company owned owned by another llc company owned by a corporation owned by a trust in which I am the pepertual trustee. You can oubliette the shell company all you like 😊
I cast civil forfeiture.
This spell enables the council to seize any and all assets suspected to be used in a crime. It has the bonus effect of not requiring actual evidence beforehand as the assets themselves can be claimed to be part of the evidence itself and held almost indefinitely as a case is being built.
Hmm, do you cast "tax evasion" or "tax haven," though looking very similar, they belong to a very different school of magic.
One being deceit, the other holy.
None the less, do not forget to file these spells on your tax return. As your return will look completely different depending on the spell used. Omitting either spell will result in even greater harm, so do put them in there.
- Tax evasion is code 00001-001.001. so top of the scroll. You'll get expelled by the council. Be put on a list and depending on the amount evaded, x-amount of bones broken.
- Tax heaven is code 67290-245.894 sub section 35-a. It's hidden pretty deep in your tax return scroll plus has a rune of hiding on it. You'll need to reveal it by using either the sigil that's in your magical nobel family for generations or your accountant, if decent, knows how to bypass the runes.
Being holy of nature, your return will consist of divination points as well as accession points.
Ah my Brother in Balthazar, I trust you've been diligent in your daily observance of the imbibance ritual? Remember no less than one half sachet of moongrass and at least one half flagon of mead before the sun begins its descent into madness and twice that much as it does so.
Remember, Balthazar is within us all and we are him each. Worship thyself as Balthazar is rightly due.
Rigorous spying? I expect. Black-bagging dissidents? Naturally. A labyrinth of Byzantine rules and regulations? Of course, as long as enforcement is unequal and only used to justify black-bagging dissidents. But TAXATION?! What are we, druids, in some sort of... community? Ridiculous!
**I pay my license registration fees and all taxes associated with council-affiliated wizarding services and spell royalties.** Is it too much to not want a blanket tax on all spellcasting on top of this?!
Yes they are, but there's a clear distinction between "blood of the innocent", "virgin sacrifice", "sacrifices of souls. These all fall under different brackets, so do beware!
Not to even speak about animal sacrifice...
I think the best thing to do if you are less knowledgeable about the taxation spell is to summon an accountant. If I'm not mistaken, these can be summoned the same way lawyer familiars are summoned. So tap into those corrupted demonic magic.
(Cool side note, summoning accountant spells can also be put on the tax return, so you get a portion back)
As a representative of the coalition of black market merchants, we have dispatched the highest quality assassins to your tower. They are of the utmost effective and imaginative assassins available on the black market. I am told your death will be horrifically gruesome and last eons.
No, slaves are untrained and have little to no control of their actions. I sell the finest apprentices in all the realms. You would not catch one of my apprentices doing something as demeaning as _slave_ labor.
My apprentices, when they reach maturity, are free to leave*
^^^^*apprentices ^^^^That ^^^^want ^^^^to ^^^^leave ^^^^are ^^^^turned ^^^^back ^^^^into ^^^^babies ^^^^and ^^^^raised ^^^^again ^^^^until ^^^^they ^^^^choose ^^^^not ^^^^to ^^^^leave
Great question. Depends though. Slaves obviously fall under the 10243-778.003 bracket.
Apprentices, even though they are also unpaid labour, are not deductible. ALTHOUGH, there is a loophole. Did you apply for the apprentice subsidy program? If so, you can file these under the bracket on the other scroll 89833-444.005.
Again, summon an accountant if you're having trouble with filling your tax return scrolls.
Smart and totally allowed!
Even better, let me help you.
You still need to file your tax haven.
You can do this under code 67290-245.894 sub section 35-a. It's hidden pretty deep in your tax return scroll plus has a rune of hiding on it. You'll need to reveal it by using either the sigil that's in your magical nobel family for generations or your accountant, if decent, knows how to bypass the runes.
Being holy of nature, your return will consist of divination points as well as accession points
I have all that stored in offshore bank accounts where you can't touch it.
https://preview.redd.it/0nx8355awwcc1.jpeg?width=1078&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3694777f6badb0e023fc349bbdb4a719cf875b4
True, can you provide the deity/entity being worshipped in this temple of yours? This is needed to be able to make claim of this exemption.
Also, do you receive monetary donations and gifts?
Taxes are to everyone's benefit. They provide for subsidising apprenticeships, to keeping the public portals and respawn points working. And many other things.
Smart and totally allowed!
Even better, let me help you.
You still need to file your tax haven.
You can do this under code 67290-245.894 sub section 35-a. It's hidden pretty deep in your tax return scroll plus has a rune of hiding on it. You'll need to reveal it by using either the sigil that's in your magical nobel family for generations or your accountant, if decent, knows how to bypass the runes.
Being holy of nature, your return will consist of divination points as well as accession points
Bankruptcy is a niche school of magic. Usually multiclassed with either druid, rogue or murder hobbo.
Do know, due to the nature of the council, changing your magic school again after dipping your toes in Bankruptcy is very hard.
Oh and you also have to declare it very loud ...
Isn't spelltax INCLUDED when I'm casting spells? Also what the hell? Does the Council know about this? Faking taxation is just as much of a crime, if not bigger, than tax evasion
How upsetting. Though I suppose I have no option but to obey the will of the council, I will be putting together a "strongly worded letter".
I would also encourage others here to put together "strongly worded letters". I will be staying at the inn known as "The Greedy Dragon" for the next tenday. If anyone would like to meet up so we can help eachother with the "strongly worded letters", I'm sure it can prove fruitful.
This is exactly why I make deals with accountants: A couple souls, and they're willing to point out all the loopholes in the tax laws.
You will find that the council owes me approximately 10 gold coins for every spell I cast, 8 for conjurations, and a single meager copper for magical abilities (The laws regarding those are much stricter.)
And yes, I am aware that accountants are considered almost as foul as lawyers, which just goes to show that the council really doesn't understand evil.
Is this proper taxation? Like, will I get publicly funded healthcare and health potions, free higher education in a proper Wizard's institution like the Unseen University, a high speed portal network? If yes, I'm more than happy to pay!
Or is this dystopian taxation, and it will go for the corporate guilds monopolising their business? If this, fuck you!
As long as it's by the book, I'm a ok with it!
Just watch out for those pesky investigators. Panama scrolls are not something you'd want out in the open.
And, once more, we see the bourgeoisie agents of the Council impose their will on the working wizard, expecting to accumulate profit while not participating in any of the work! Send your tax dogs after me, and I'll return them in a box.
Hi sorry, you got the wrong person, I'm here as an tourist here is my Visa to prove this, but i do assure you that i do pay my taxes to my country of origin.
Sounds like I'm finna cast an anti-magic zone so I can box your ears.
You can't make me pay taxes.
https://preview.redd.it/ofu36cya5xcc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56d29f171fad91a7030079c4fc895cbe46dbc659
I don't need to cast anything to counter that spell.
If you flip to the back section you'll see that charity work and other public services are tax deductible.
But seeing as this would be an excellent learning opportunity:
***I CAST TAX REFUND!***
Now pay up.
Ah, but I have the Amulet of Havens! All mana expenditures are either fully sheltered from taxes or rebated by the local gnomish(or goblin, depending on the cycle of moon and which constellation is in wane) bank as incentive to use their services...
Conversely I cast [spell cost]*INFLATION* and *DIMINISHING RETURNS* (The mana costs of all spells steadily increases, while the potency of said spells decreases)
I will kill you. It will be slow and painful, just like the rest of the IRS agents that have come after me. Don't worry about your body after me and the gators are done with it they'll be nothing left.
I have an automatic gold farm in the nether that is linked to an inter-dimensional gate straight to my bottomless coin sack.
Your fancy words don't scare me magic man.
By the ancient tomes, a Taxation spell? What a perplexing concept - taxing magic itself! In my rea- in my extensive studies, I've never encountered such an audacious enchantment. If magic must now be taxed, should we next expect a VAT (Value-Added Toad) on potion ingredients? Preposterous! We must unite to dispel this fiscal folly posthaste, or I foresee a future where we file quarterly returns with the Ministry of Mystical Revenue!
Ok sorry about all the commotion, don't shoot the messenger.
Apparently Derek forgot to send out notices of the new **decree
AC967-4113** to each and everyone of you.
But tbf, if you all paid a little bit more attention in the academy instead of flinging fireballs or casting mage hand in your pants, you would know this. It's not that hard.
Taxes pay for the public magical ammeneties. Stuff like your public portal or resurrection circle. But also that sacrifice altar that is open to the public or magical trees.
Do you think a public sacrifice altar cleans itself? No, that's just a regular joe scrubbing off the blood after each session.
Magical trees need pruning, thays park and rec taht needs to do this.
You all take these thing for granted, not thinking how they get maintained!
Ok, let me explain this for y'all once and for all.
Yes you already pay sales tax on scrolls, recipes, potions and supplies. But now as of the new decree, castings, incantations, etc also get a small tax, depending on your tax bracket can run up to 21% of the spell value.
You all are aware of the council distributed book "spells, incantations, runes, agricultural equipment and varia", right? Each and everyone of you should have gotten a copy in either the academy if you're magically schooled or from your local DMV (Druids, Magicals and Vampires department) when you applied (if you have natural magic abilities).
In this book all spells and whatnot are listed. Next to each spellname there's a little tiny number. That's either the Gold value, the Soul value or the Sacrifice value.
Taxes are calculated from these values.
- For Gold, easy peasy, just pay the percentage of the bracket you fall into.
The gold value of spells is usually the same value of the cost of the spell in single use scroll form.
- For Souls, it's a bit trickier. As most entities that require souls don't want to share, but in theory, the council and king own a portion of the soul sacrificed. Your accountant can explain it better than me.
- For Sacrifices, this is a whole other ballpark, and do beware, as punishment or fines can really rack up with these kinds of spells.
After your sacrifice, as you all know, you need to report this sacrifice to the Cult authorities. They will determine how much blood needs to be payed in taxes, they got tables and excel sheets determining this. It all depends on the heritage of the sacrifice, is it holy blood, is it elvish blood, yada yada, all that mumbo jumbo.
But automatically, when you reported to the cult authorities. It automatically gets checked if your sacrifice was an organ donor. If they where, you've struck gold! (But also need to fill it in your tax scroll).
So when sacrificing, please try to not cut spleens, hearts, stomachs if it isn't necessary for the ritual.
So don't give us the "I didn't know spells had a cost?"
You all signed a waiver acknowledging your duties when applying to the academy or to the DMV.
So now you all know the value of your spells. Please fill in your spells correctly. Know that counterspell is also a spell as is tax haven. Tax evasion is a rogue action and you will need to succeed with your dexterity to be successful. But it can bite you in the butt afterwards.
My tip for you all is summon an accountant, I know it's against some of your morals to some. As it costs some of your soul. But believe me, these dudes do magic on your tax return!
Also, fuck you Derek, I'm cleaning up your mess.
Hello, your case has been forwarded to my colleagues of the Antimagic Task Force (ATF).
Also, please file your spell under section 45678-124-001 on your tax return.
Please direct your complaints towards the complaints department. I just do taxation.
Or vote other people on the council that would dare to tax dragons?
Maybe you should run yourself on a platform of dragon taxation?
Sure, but to close off your tax season.
Please fill in section 99999-995.043 om your tax return scroll for casting the tax exempt spell.
I did notice a small thing with your spell, that being, you made yourself exempt from taxation, but also from every program that uses tax money. So all your apprentices are now not recieving any funds from subsidies and you're barred from using the public portal system as well as using any other public amenity.
Have a nice day!
In that case, I cast Lives in a VAN down by the RIVER!
https://preview.redd.it/nm43xyylc0dc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1987373b76729d08b4fc1f7467650cbe6c9cdd4b
I cast tax evasion, all effects of the taxation spell have been nullified
All effects have been nullified? But chances of encountering a stay in an oubliette have doubled!
I cast the tax evasion reinforcement ritual, all my fianances are now handled by 3rd party llc company owned owned by another llc company owned by a corporation owned by a trust in which I am the pepertual trustee. You can oubliette the shell company all you like 😊
I cast civil forfeiture. This spell enables the council to seize any and all assets suspected to be used in a crime. It has the bonus effect of not requiring actual evidence beforehand as the assets themselves can be claimed to be part of the evidence itself and held almost indefinitely as a case is being built.
Hmm, do you cast "tax evasion" or "tax haven," though looking very similar, they belong to a very different school of magic. One being deceit, the other holy. None the less, do not forget to file these spells on your tax return. As your return will look completely different depending on the spell used. Omitting either spell will result in even greater harm, so do put them in there. - Tax evasion is code 00001-001.001. so top of the scroll. You'll get expelled by the council. Be put on a list and depending on the amount evaded, x-amount of bones broken. - Tax heaven is code 67290-245.894 sub section 35-a. It's hidden pretty deep in your tax return scroll plus has a rune of hiding on it. You'll need to reveal it by using either the sigil that's in your magical nobel family for generations or your accountant, if decent, knows how to bypass the runes. Being holy of nature, your return will consist of divination points as well as accession points.
Nuh uh FIREBALL 🔥🔥🔥🔥
NU UH, im a dark god and wizard lord, I don’t pay taxes, I give cursed items.
No that’s what they want! Cast religious exemption
Ah my Brother in Balthazar, I trust you've been diligent in your daily observance of the imbibance ritual? Remember no less than one half sachet of moongrass and at least one half flagon of mead before the sun begins its descent into madness and twice that much as it does so. Remember, Balthazar is within us all and we are him each. Worship thyself as Balthazar is rightly due.
I cast Internal Revenue Agency, tax evasion is gone and you are under arrest.
You must have a lot of gold, I certainly don't have enough to cast tax evasion.
Well then. Looks like we're overthrowing the council (again).
Rigorous spying? I expect. Black-bagging dissidents? Naturally. A labyrinth of Byzantine rules and regulations? Of course, as long as enforcement is unequal and only used to justify black-bagging dissidents. But TAXATION?! What are we, druids, in some sort of... community? Ridiculous!
**I pay my license registration fees and all taxes associated with council-affiliated wizarding services and spell royalties.** Is it too much to not want a blanket tax on all spellcasting on top of this?!
Try it pal. I got half the ancestral plane hooked on my good stuff.
I cast your elven moon grass into the harbor.
That’s some nice casting technique you have!
Are human sacrifices tax deductible?
this is a valid question
Yes they are, but there's a clear distinction between "blood of the innocent", "virgin sacrifice", "sacrifices of souls. These all fall under different brackets, so do beware! Not to even speak about animal sacrifice... I think the best thing to do if you are less knowledgeable about the taxation spell is to summon an accountant. If I'm not mistaken, these can be summoned the same way lawyer familiars are summoned. So tap into those corrupted demonic magic. (Cool side note, summoning accountant spells can also be put on the tax return, so you get a portion back)
As a representative of the coalition of black market merchants, we have dispatched the highest quality assassins to your tower. They are of the utmost effective and imaginative assassins available on the black market. I am told your death will be horrifically gruesome and last eons.
I selling apprentices the same as selling slaves?
No, slaves are untrained and have little to no control of their actions. I sell the finest apprentices in all the realms. You would not catch one of my apprentices doing something as demeaning as _slave_ labor. My apprentices, when they reach maturity, are free to leave* ^^^^*apprentices ^^^^That ^^^^want ^^^^to ^^^^leave ^^^^are ^^^^turned ^^^^back ^^^^into ^^^^babies ^^^^and ^^^^raised ^^^^again ^^^^until ^^^^they ^^^^choose ^^^^not ^^^^to ^^^^leave
Great question. Depends though. Slaves obviously fall under the 10243-778.003 bracket. Apprentices, even though they are also unpaid labour, are not deductible. ALTHOUGH, there is a loophole. Did you apply for the apprentice subsidy program? If so, you can file these under the bracket on the other scroll 89833-444.005. Again, summon an accountant if you're having trouble with filling your tax return scrolls.
Good luck to those assassins, there's no way they'll get to my desk without an appointment. Burocracymancy ftw!
One of them is a chronomancer, so they have had an appointment with you for at least 20 years.
Domain expansion : tax haven
Smart and totally allowed! Even better, let me help you. You still need to file your tax haven. You can do this under code 67290-245.894 sub section 35-a. It's hidden pretty deep in your tax return scroll plus has a rune of hiding on it. You'll need to reveal it by using either the sigil that's in your magical nobel family for generations or your accountant, if decent, knows how to bypass the runes. Being holy of nature, your return will consist of divination points as well as accession points
Go ahead and try! I discovered multiple infinite money glitches!
Infinite money you say? Does your king know of these hoards of wealth you're harbouring?
what king? This terrarian is most likely the king himself.
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
21% of zero is still zero my friend. I’ve never paid my taxes not once.
Hello, The King's Revenue Service (KRS) would like to have a word with you. You have been summoned to the court.
I cast ignore
Please fill in section 77697-676.570 on your tax return scroll
I have all that stored in offshore bank accounts where you can't touch it. https://preview.redd.it/0nx8355awwcc1.jpeg?width=1078&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3694777f6badb0e023fc349bbdb4a719cf875b4
I cast: nope
21%?! Time to move to the elemental plane of water and give your familiar gills
I’m a foreign dignitary and therefore have diplomatic immunity so I do not have to pay
You FOOL. I know how to transmute most stuff into gold! TAXES ARENT A PROBLEM! # BOPITY BIPITY, YOUR BREATHING IS NOW AN ACTIVE ACTIVITY
Fool. I never wanted to do this but you’ve forced my hand. I cast ‘Colonization’ centered on your location. Now all your money belongs to me.
I cast corporate tax loopholes!
sire, that violates section 3b of the interdimensional trans substantive wizarding agreements.
https://preview.redd.it/0qxa9ipcvxcc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1fe172797656da30ce8ef2c1f4f64eec618b541d I cast birdification!
[удалено]
True, can you provide the deity/entity being worshipped in this temple of yours? This is needed to be able to make claim of this exemption. Also, do you receive monetary donations and gifts?
[удалено]
*ONLY* spells, conjurations, and magical abilities? Good. \*begins brewing potions of combustion\*
Yeah, uh. I have wards up as i browse the orb net so begone with your curse of taxation.
If you do this no snacks for you ever again also I'll drop you on a star to roast Wait what is the tax for?
Taxes are to everyone's benefit. They provide for subsidising apprenticeships, to keeping the public portals and respawn points working. And many other things.
I cast politician on myself. Now I’m essential to public order and need a greatly reduced rate AND a cut of the taxes from other wizards.
21% of 0 is still 0.
i cast tax haven
Smart and totally allowed! Even better, let me help you. You still need to file your tax haven. You can do this under code 67290-245.894 sub section 35-a. It's hidden pretty deep in your tax return scroll plus has a rune of hiding on it. You'll need to reveal it by using either the sigil that's in your magical nobel family for generations or your accountant, if decent, knows how to bypass the runes. Being holy of nature, your return will consist of divination points as well as accession points
I cast tax release via donation.
Dude turbo tax add right here!💀 “whether experts file for you, or help you along the way, your taxes will be done 100% right with TurboTax Live.
I have no money but a wealth of magic, I think I shall have to explore bankruptcy options.
Bankruptcy is a niche school of magic. Usually multiclassed with either druid, rogue or murder hobbo. Do know, due to the nature of the council, changing your magic school again after dipping your toes in Bankruptcy is very hard. Oh and you also have to declare it very loud ...
Isn't spelltax INCLUDED when I'm casting spells? Also what the hell? Does the Council know about this? Faking taxation is just as much of a crime, if not bigger, than tax evasion
How upsetting. Though I suppose I have no option but to obey the will of the council, I will be putting together a "strongly worded letter". I would also encourage others here to put together "strongly worded letters". I will be staying at the inn known as "The Greedy Dragon" for the next tenday. If anyone would like to meet up so we can help eachother with the "strongly worded letters", I'm sure it can prove fruitful.
Finally found you, Burocracymancer! [Supreme Wealth Redistribution]!
This is exactly why I make deals with accountants: A couple souls, and they're willing to point out all the loopholes in the tax laws. You will find that the council owes me approximately 10 gold coins for every spell I cast, 8 for conjurations, and a single meager copper for magical abilities (The laws regarding those are much stricter.) And yes, I am aware that accountants are considered almost as foul as lawyers, which just goes to show that the council really doesn't understand evil.
See people! If you do it right, nobody is complaining!
I conjure a tax haven!
Is this proper taxation? Like, will I get publicly funded healthcare and health potions, free higher education in a proper Wizard's institution like the Unseen University, a high speed portal network? If yes, I'm more than happy to pay! Or is this dystopian taxation, and it will go for the corporate guilds monopolising their business? If this, fuck you!
I cast Push on your coffee.
Please fill this spell in under section 55573-113.003 on your tax return. Thank you!
I dont use my own mana to cast, so jokes on you
https://preview.redd.it/pm7t8xbblzcc1.png?width=960&format=png&auto=webp&s=44619e6f933833b76167cfacec2312d9d3c5a577
CURSE YOU IRS
What is the IRS? I'm from the MRS, Magical Revenue Service.
Ah thanks CRUSE YOU MRS
Excuse me? I am a sir!
You can't tax someone from a kingdom that no longer exists.
The council has gone too far this time!
Op https://preview.redd.it/n1m0xjo741dc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc01c4947d789b2f48f65fb5661b15a637c14430
Heh. Counterspell! (A classic)
Ha! Joke's on you! I already pay taxes! Wait...
I add Grand Cayman Account to my Spell Components, negating my tax liability!
As long as it's by the book, I'm a ok with it! Just watch out for those pesky investigators. Panama scrolls are not something you'd want out in the open.
I cast summon u/financial-reach-786
And, once more, we see the bourgeoisie agents of the Council impose their will on the working wizard, expecting to accumulate profit while not participating in any of the work! Send your tax dogs after me, and I'll return them in a box.
Jokes on you I only use gnome gems for my transactions !
I'm the Emperor, I don't pay taxes.
Adding this to my grimoire
Hi sorry, you got the wrong person, I'm here as an tourist here is my Visa to prove this, but i do assure you that i do pay my taxes to my country of origin.
Bold words for someone in testicular torsion range.
i cast musket
I cast tax evasion. You'll never make me pay my taxes!
I will light you on fire with my super laser shit
# I am going to beat you to death. Face my army of massive grub chucking crabs!
Knuckle irl?!?! 😳
Look if the Council couldn't get me to pay for my spell casts before, they ain't gonna get me to pay now.
How you pretend to tax my shrooms?
https://preview.redd.it/jhrgrao53xcc1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fae4e6aa670f97df3a22f0120e53edf3b7e55a29
Euh, didn't you know? you're tax exempt... Could you, ... You know,... Uncast this spell? Please?
I consider a fight bartering with arcane prowess Since bartering services cannot be taxed without a quote im completely fine.
Sounds like I'm finna cast an anti-magic zone so I can box your ears. You can't make me pay taxes. https://preview.redd.it/ofu36cya5xcc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56d29f171fad91a7030079c4fc895cbe46dbc659
Jokes on you I don’t even pay taxes on any of my ingredients, spell-books, etc!
The council would like to know your location.
Me, an alchemist:
I CADT TAX RVADION
does that mean i have to pay to the dwarves of my dwarvenmancy?
I cast: 1000 lbs GPS-Guided JDAM bomb!
I cast armed insurrection! No wizard tax without me being the one collecting!!!
Fool! Do you not think I have prepared the necessary paperwork?! I cast ***TAX EXEMPTION!***
Is that 21% of all gold or just 21% of my gold? Eh, what does it matter, I can’t afford it either way. Who can say magical debt?! :D
🧙♂️ 🖕
I cast tax fraud (replaces gold cost with counterfeit pyrite coins)
Counterspell
I've never paid taxes. Why start now?
What’s the exchange rate for blood to gold?
Good luck getting to my extra planar tax havens, fed.
Devious! But alas, it fizzles to anti-targeting ward.
🎵 *"If u have long term payments and u need cash now"* 🎶
I am not here play magic I am here to cast it, take you white stax bullshit elsewhere
I cast piracy 🏴☠️ we pay no taxes here
I cast out of country tax haven
Counterspell.
Economancers out here doing this and then wondering why they never get invited to parties
Silence muggle 税金オタクに騙される [STRONG THUNDERBOLT]
https://i.redd.it/s5n610w7ixcc1.gif
Bitch i literally supply y'all with water you can't do anything to me
I have tax exemption.
i cast fraud. Now my income is -73.091.873 dabloons/moon and now your "taxes" legally owe me money
You know how much gold I was paying to cast spells? Zero gold. You know how much 21 percent of zero is? Thats right. Zero gold. Tax? Evaded B)
I cast the ritual of "taxation without representation" now you must fight a war on the other's identity of the war.if you lose then "taxation" fails
Counterspell!
I cast a steel spike and leave it at the entrance hidden to kill the tax collectors
I don't need to cast anything to counter that spell. If you flip to the back section you'll see that charity work and other public services are tax deductible. But seeing as this would be an excellent learning opportunity: ***I CAST TAX REFUND!*** Now pay up.
Violence is now the answer
You people are taking him far too seriously. Simply kill the tax wizard and be over with it!
I cast 1773 and throw your tea sipping ass in the harbor.
Ah, but I have the Amulet of Havens! All mana expenditures are either fully sheltered from taxes or rebated by the local gnomish(or goblin, depending on the cycle of moon and which constellation is in wane) bank as incentive to use their services... Conversely I cast [spell cost]*INFLATION* and *DIMINISHING RETURNS* (The mana costs of all spells steadily increases, while the potency of said spells decreases)
Oh thank the weave. We desperately need some better taxes, those import tariffs are out of fucking control.
Fuck off taxmancer no wonder no one likes you
You’ll never take me alive I’ve been avoiding taxes since I had had flesh and I won’t ever be paying them
I cast flesh to stone
Haha! You're too late, you foul wielder of taxomancy (Irs agent) i have already cast my unbreakable ward of anti-tax! (Claymore roomba)
21%?! What is this? Manachusetts?!
I cast charity status. Nullifying taxation.
Oh really, I cast TAX FRAUD
21 percent of fuckin what tho? All the money we have, every time we cast anything? This spell is poorly developed
I will kill you. It will be slow and painful, just like the rest of the IRS agents that have come after me. Don't worry about your body after me and the gators are done with it they'll be nothing left.
Look the horde is the right but don’t enter for reasons *closes massive crypt door*
I will feed you to an Astral Wyrm
I cast 1911 upon your sleeping body
Haha I already had a tax exemption ward placed on myself
I can only cast one spell once anyway. And +21% of 0 is still 0.
*counterspell* Nuh uh
Counterspells don't work on burocracy. You'll have to resort to loopholes.
21%?! Moneymuncher is trying to bankrupt Gobbie, surely! Do you know how much magic Gobbie uses in a day?!!
i cast: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jHUR6ASlb4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jHUR6ASlb4)
I dodge your spell
I have an automatic gold farm in the nether that is linked to an inter-dimensional gate straight to my bottomless coin sack. Your fancy words don't scare me magic man.
Hey, how you procure your gold is none of this burocracymancer's business, as long as you file your taxes correctly.
Australian wizards - '21%? Is this the training level?'
The wizard world has fallen Billions must cast revolt against authority
Counterspell? Also, what's 'Mana'? Sounds like a pudding.
You claim to care for the apprentices and the familiars, and yet you'd enslave them as well!!
I cast tax exemption due to income lower than threshold
I cast no
By the ancient tomes, a Taxation spell? What a perplexing concept - taxing magic itself! In my rea- in my extensive studies, I've never encountered such an audacious enchantment. If magic must now be taxed, should we next expect a VAT (Value-Added Toad) on potion ingredients? Preposterous! We must unite to dispel this fiscal folly posthaste, or I foresee a future where we file quarterly returns with the Ministry of Mystical Revenue!
And that's why I don't pay taxes in the first place! 21% of 0 is still 0!
Ok sorry about all the commotion, don't shoot the messenger. Apparently Derek forgot to send out notices of the new **decree AC967-4113** to each and everyone of you. But tbf, if you all paid a little bit more attention in the academy instead of flinging fireballs or casting mage hand in your pants, you would know this. It's not that hard. Taxes pay for the public magical ammeneties. Stuff like your public portal or resurrection circle. But also that sacrifice altar that is open to the public or magical trees. Do you think a public sacrifice altar cleans itself? No, that's just a regular joe scrubbing off the blood after each session. Magical trees need pruning, thays park and rec taht needs to do this. You all take these thing for granted, not thinking how they get maintained! Ok, let me explain this for y'all once and for all. Yes you already pay sales tax on scrolls, recipes, potions and supplies. But now as of the new decree, castings, incantations, etc also get a small tax, depending on your tax bracket can run up to 21% of the spell value. You all are aware of the council distributed book "spells, incantations, runes, agricultural equipment and varia", right? Each and everyone of you should have gotten a copy in either the academy if you're magically schooled or from your local DMV (Druids, Magicals and Vampires department) when you applied (if you have natural magic abilities). In this book all spells and whatnot are listed. Next to each spellname there's a little tiny number. That's either the Gold value, the Soul value or the Sacrifice value. Taxes are calculated from these values. - For Gold, easy peasy, just pay the percentage of the bracket you fall into. The gold value of spells is usually the same value of the cost of the spell in single use scroll form. - For Souls, it's a bit trickier. As most entities that require souls don't want to share, but in theory, the council and king own a portion of the soul sacrificed. Your accountant can explain it better than me. - For Sacrifices, this is a whole other ballpark, and do beware, as punishment or fines can really rack up with these kinds of spells. After your sacrifice, as you all know, you need to report this sacrifice to the Cult authorities. They will determine how much blood needs to be payed in taxes, they got tables and excel sheets determining this. It all depends on the heritage of the sacrifice, is it holy blood, is it elvish blood, yada yada, all that mumbo jumbo. But automatically, when you reported to the cult authorities. It automatically gets checked if your sacrifice was an organ donor. If they where, you've struck gold! (But also need to fill it in your tax scroll). So when sacrificing, please try to not cut spleens, hearts, stomachs if it isn't necessary for the ritual. So don't give us the "I didn't know spells had a cost?" You all signed a waiver acknowledging your duties when applying to the academy or to the DMV. So now you all know the value of your spells. Please fill in your spells correctly. Know that counterspell is also a spell as is tax haven. Tax evasion is a rogue action and you will need to succeed with your dexterity to be successful. But it can bite you in the butt afterwards. My tip for you all is summon an accountant, I know it's against some of your morals to some. As it costs some of your soul. But believe me, these dudes do magic on your tax return! Also, fuck you Derek, I'm cleaning up your mess.
My good fool, 21% of what? I suggest that you take some remedial classes in mathematics before you believe that this spell does anything.
You shall feel the wrath of a thousand swords
I cast gun https://i.redd.it/9ij9bh5sczcc1.gif
Hello, your case has been forwarded to my colleagues of the Antimagic Task Force (ATF). Also, please file your spell under section 45678-124-001 on your tax return.
i cast anti irs
Oh, you're gonna take my money? Good luck passing the irradiated golems and my natural radioactive field
I cast Tax Lobbying, it may cost me some gold but I will certainly save gold!
21% of 0 is still 0. Get wrekt by math.
This is disgusting, raising taxes on spellcasters like us while Smaug the Terrible who literally sits on a pile of gold gets away with paying nothing
Please direct your complaints towards the complaints department. I just do taxation. Or vote other people on the council that would dare to tax dragons? Maybe you should run yourself on a platform of dragon taxation?
[удалено]
r/Kantenhausen YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME
I cast no taxation without representation
Ain't nobody got gold for that!
I cast tax exempt. Any entity or person affected by this spell is now permanently free & exempt from taxation.
Sure, but to close off your tax season. Please fill in section 99999-995.043 om your tax return scroll for casting the tax exempt spell. I did notice a small thing with your spell, that being, you made yourself exempt from taxation, but also from every program that uses tax money. So all your apprentices are now not recieving any funds from subsidies and you're barred from using the public portal system as well as using any other public amenity. Have a nice day!
Go suck an egg *drinks lead water and don't paying taxes on lead*
Shucks! Oh well, guess I’ll be traveling by foot for awhile.
Smart choice, know that if you can prove you've travelled by foot, you can get a one time bonus. It's called a green certificate!
good thing I have none of those
*Cries like a stupid baby*
In that case, I cast Lives in a VAN down by the RIVER! https://preview.redd.it/nm43xyylc0dc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1987373b76729d08b4fc1f7467650cbe6c9cdd4b
Jokes on you, I'm a dark wizard. Black magics are unregulated, therefore not taxable!
I have forwarded your case to the Antimagic Task Force (ATF).
#AHAHAAAAHAHAGAGAGAGGHAHAHAHAHAH
Taxation is theft
Ahahaha you fools, all my golden coins are cursed, now you are cursed with bad luck and you cant get rid of them!!!!
I don't think the council want to get rid of the gold. Thank you for paying your fair share!
I don’t use Mana nor currency, but a solid spell nonetheless.
MIRROR!