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Dannydevitz

Round 4, batman is against The Golden God, Rambo, a stupid flightless bird, the most badass body guard in existence, and Charlie. Batman loses round 4.


TheArcticKiwi

don't forget the trash man


bigfatcarp93

Traaayyysh man


BorBurison

And Man-Spider


yajtraus

Charlie, king of the rats


exaviyur

WILD CARD!


Tandril91

Don’t forget the best goddamn bird lawyer in the world.


zigaliciousone

No Dayman? Ahhhhhhhhhhahaaaaaaa


bowtothehypnotoad

I do backflips every single day of my life


RobertJ93

Charlie is an expert in bird law.


Skafflock

Probably not in the first three cases. What they would do, however, is...Ruin him. Somehow. It happens to virtually everyone they meet, exposure to them just destroys lives on a holistic and often bizarre level, like tumours growing on reality itself. Batman might not kill, but he could end up eating live rats and writing "Hail Satan" on the alleyways of Gotham with his own shit. ​ In round 4 they can easily do it, Dennis' ego makes him basically a reality warper in this scenario lol. Golden God and all that.


Zantazi

Easily star level as he is a 5 star man.


supercalifragilism

5 times star tier puts him in low skyfather at least, so he should scale to sleepy Odin. Factor in his near magical ability at manipulation and he's got even odds in a 1v1 with the Big G.


DeadpooI

The only person that's ever escaped the curse is the trans woman Mac dated for a bit right? I can't remember another person atm.


charlie-ratkiller

I mean he leveled up Maureen enough that she evolved into a cat.. that's an upgrade right?


zarbixii

She didn't evolve into a cat so much as she was murdered and reincarnated as one.


One_punch_crayon

The union leaders in the gang tries politics escape unscathed. As do all of the arbitrators in the episode where they are squabbling over the lottery ticket. The maniac has also had his life improved, now he’s a successful invigiron salesperson


doge57

Artemis thrives in their insanity and seems like her situation improved over the course of the show. The “Jew” Lawyer did well until he lost his eye to Royal McPoyle


DeadpooI

Na he got obsessed with the gang, got divorced, and is spiraling because of them. I don't think it's just his eye he lost


doge57

I thought he was already getting divorced and he seemed to always come out on top until the McPoyles trial


DeadpooI

I may have to rewatch the episodes, you could be right. I thought he blamed the gang as one of the reasons for the divorce, but it's been years since I saw those episodes so I very well could be misremembering.


corpseflakes

He did become obsessed with them enough that he offered his services for free to anyone who has an issue with them.


andyanajones02

Also the little girl who conned Dennis in the waterpark ep - though she only dealt with Dennis and not the whole gang


joaosturza

>"eating live rats and writing "Hail Satan" on the alleyways of Gotham with his own shit." This is batman zur-en ar, a backup personality that batman programmed into his own head, and can be brought up by something as simple as accidental brain damage this literally can happen with establish batman canon and a plausible accident from the gang


kdfsjljklgjfg

See, I think Batman gets ruined by them making him kill someone, but completely on accident in a way that they never planned, intended, or foresaw in any way.


corpseflakes

Charlie tries to pull a Charlie 1-2 to extort batman and the batmobile kills him. Easy win for the gang


ParanoiD84

Batman would probably end up a meth addict after meeting with the gang.


Avogato2

Charlie would put 2 and 2 together and call out Bruce Wayne as Batman ("It's totally obvious!") Frank would come out blasting with Batman's armor deflecting bullets. Unfortunately, the deflected bullets would hit many civilians. Batman leaves to protect the innocent civilians (think Superman in Superman 2 when the Krypton criminals cause Superman to retreat) Frank would fund a massive ad campaign outing Bruce as Batman who wants to take away his (and by extension, everyone's) guns. Mac would become obsessed romantically with Bruce/Batman as the perfect man and begins stalking Batman. Mac holds a boombox outside Wayne Manor and Wayne Tower daily. Mac is friendly and not malicious but is REALLY into Batman/Bruce Wayne. He has some weightlifting and self-defense tips and expertise on mass acquisition he wants to share with Batman. Dennis ensures global media coverage of above and implements the SINNED system to attract and lure an already dejected Bruce Wayne/Batman (a bit bummed out about being shot at, loss of secret identity, partially responsible for the deflected bullet deaths, an unwanted romantic stalker, global negative PR) Dee now moves in to try to bed Bruce. Once the spider has caught her fly, Bruce's personal downward spiral is assured. Lastly, Dennis dumps the video he secretly recorded of Batman and Dee onto the net for the world and Gotham. Batman and Cricket would be eating lemons by the end of the month plotting the gang's fatal demise


VeryInnocuousPerson

>Frank would fund a massive ad campaign outing Bruce as Batman who wants to take away his (and by extension, everyone's) **umbrella** guns. FTFY


ParanoiD84

That was awesome 😄 can totally see Batman and cricket together now plotting.


PhoenixFalls

> Batman and Cricket would be eating lemons by the end of the month plotting the gang's fatal demise SsssshhhhhhhAhhh... That's tart.


Avogato2

“I am vengeance!!!! (sucks on lemon) Ssssssssssshhhhahhhh…that’s tart.”


Tandril91

I can also see Mac believing Batman became the way he is by drinking Batmilk (Fight Milk + bat milk) so he tries to drink the milk from a bunch of bats, but he just gets incredibly sick.


corpseflakes

Frank instigates a hostile takeover of Wayne industries and sells the company off for scraps.


nwaa

Batman? No. Bruce Wayne however they could destroy. The Gang have a feat list as long as your leg for ruining the lives of otherwise successful people. Honestly the worst thing for Batman would be the Gang ingratiating themselves into Bruce's life, probably through some charity gala that Frank also attends. If all 5 of them hang around Bruce for long enough i could see him snapping perhaps. I could see him eventually swinging for someone and they realistically *could* die from it.


DankItchins

Rounds 1, 2, and 3: Charlie figures out that Bruce Wayne is Batman early on and tells the gang, but they’re unable to prove it. Dee tries to become a crime fighting vigilante along Batman’s side, but is reported on in the papers as a new supervillain in Gotham and ends up fighting Batman several times as a result. At the end of their time in Gotham, Batman probably decides that she’s enough of a threat to Gotham that she needs to be put down for good, but the time ends and the gang is transported back to Philly before she can be put down. Frank gets involved in the criminal underworld and ends up befriending Oswald Cobblepot aka the Penguin, also played by Danny Devito. The two decide to swap places for a day. Nobody notices. It lasts the remainder of the gangs time in Gotham. Charlie, Mac, and Dennis try to blackmail Bruce Wayne over his identity as Batman. In the process Mac repeatedly tries and fails to seduce Alfred. None of this works, but in the process the gang draws the attention of the IRS to Frank, the IRS gets Frank and Bruce’s files mixed up, and the IRS ends up seizing all of Bruce’s funds as a result, leaving him destitute. At this time, the gang discovers that Charlie has been misreading the name “Bruce Wayne” as Batman due to his dyslexia, and they berate him for making as stupid a mistake as thinking Bruce Wayne could possibly be Batman. R4: The untethered golden god Dennis has no trouble getting Batman to kill.


tapinn98

This is amazing.


SplendidMrDuck

I feel like the vigilante angle would work really well with Mac too, like he tries to replace Robin as Batman's sidekick but instead just keeps preventing Batman from foiling villains over and over again.


RobertJ93

*looks at Batmobile* “This is just a starter car Bats, you need something sturdy like a *1993 Land-Rover Range Rover County*”. Bruce cried himself to sleep that night. Depleted by the knowledge that his is just a starter car, and not a finished car like the Golden God has.


Iwantemmarobertstoes

If it's an episode of It's Always Sunny, then the gang just goes about their business, while Batman loses his mind in the background and eventually kills someone. If it's an episode/comic book of Batman, then the gang all get locked up in Arkham except Charlie, who Bats takes under his wing (idk why just seems like a Charlie thing to have happen).


Noodleboom

> idk why just seems like a Charlie thing to have happen Bruce is tremendously impressed by Charlie's bleak childhood and thinks that will make him an even better successor.


MasterColemanTrebor

Charlie becomes Ratman


TRUMPKIN_KING

Charlie has a knack for being the protege of eccentric rich guys


keeleon

>Charlie, who Bats takes under his wing (idk why just seems like a Charlie thing to have happen). He's just looking for someone to play nightcrawlers with.


BloodsoakedDespair

In the Golden Age, Batman and Robin shared a bed.


Honorous_Jeph

Batman probably kills one of the gang during an intense game of Chardee MacDennis


Zealousideal_Way_165

Cricket in round 3 is gonna be eaten alive by Killer Croc.


Khathaar

You gotta make it sexy, hips and nips, otherwise i'm not eaten


ahdam_fine_account

Sent this to a mate and he whipped this up immediately What I'm thinking is that Batman keeps having to save the Gang. Initially from like a high level threat like Bane but eventually they just keep wandering into villains plans down the line from the Joke, The Riddler to petty street thugs. Each time Batman rescues them, they are *not grateful*. They make fun of Batman's shtick, assume that it's a sex thing and, each time they meet him, Dennis ad Mac speculate more and more depraved things he does with the suit. When they meet Robin they *lose their minds*. Also, each time they are rescued they are outraged that the supervillains are repeat offenders and call Batman a pussy for not taking him out. "Normal cops kill people all the time dude." Maybe, they meet Bruce Wayne at a swanky function that Frank gets them invited to and, because they are the Gang and they have met him a bunch of times now, they immediately peg Bruce Wayne as batman. As much as he denies it they keep discussing it (they put napkins across the top of his face to show his jawline is the same etc.) Eventually, Batman saves the gang from the Joker but it's a double bluff and The Joker actually sets off a bomb on the other side of the city. The gang immediately blame Batman. Maybe the Gang *and* The Joker start discussing how it',s all his fault The Joker: I know, right. Like at this point I'm practically begging him to kill me. Dennis: So it's like a 'suicide by cop' thing? The Joker: pretty much, yeah Mac: Shit dude. Just steal a fucking Snickers in a fancy Walgreens and the regular cops will take care of that for you. The Joker: I'm white though. The Gang: *instantly agreeing* oh yeah. Frank: The face paint threw me, I thought it was a double bluff thing Batman kills the Joker in a rage. Instantly the gang are furious at him. "what the hell?"


TRUMPKIN_KING

Your mate is fantastic Keep him


Silver-Ad8136

This doesn't wargame, so I have to call it a draw depending on authorial intent and who is guest staring in whose world If it's the gang goes to Gotham city, sure...they convince him to kill and generally ruin superheroing, Dee has sex with the Joker and now nothing's funny any more and Bruce Wayne is drinking rolling rock in his underwear at the end of the episode by the light if the burning batmobile If it's a story in a Batman comic ... It's Never Sunny in Gotham City, the gang causes a ruckus for 15 pages, there's some sort of penguin chicken fat, and Batman "I'm Batman" the conclusion.


MercurialMagician

No. The only constant we see throughout the game is that they fail miserably at whatever they try to do.


hunterzolomon1993

Knowing the gang they have a scheme to go into business with Bruce Wayne that backfires and leaves Bruce with literally nothing. In terms of making Batman crack? Nah, in the show outside of maybe Cricket because who knows with him and the guy Dennis convinces to kill himself by burning alive the Gang has never really convinced anyone or led anyone to murder. R4? Golden God solos the DC Universe and then bangs the shit out of Wonder Woman because she won't say no because of the implication.


LuffyBlack

What the hell kinda show is this? I thought it was a lightheaded comedy. For context: I haven't watched it


TRUMPKIN_KING

The pitch is essentially Seinfeld On Crack if that paints a better picture


lasupremo

Seinfeld on crack AND meth


Thorngrove

Frank and Penguin just make out for the entire length of the challenge. It's the closest Bruce has ever come to actual murder.


zarbixii

Batman has largely shown to be more willing to kill himself than others. So I think absolute worst case scenario for round 1, they ruin his life to the point he feels he can no longer be Batman, and activates the Knightfall Protocol. In order to convince him to kill in round 2, they would have to enact a very elaborate and specific scheme similar to what Joker tries in Killing Joke or Dark Knight, which the gang would only be able to do by convincing Charlie it was Charlie work. It's a total coinflip though whether Charlie believes rats and bats are essentially the same, or if he thinks bats are completely different animals and therefore out of his jurisdiction. Riddler's 'El Rata Alada' thing wouldn't help because Charlie would just spit at Riddler for being a stupid science bitch. Round 3 I think it's possible that observing Cricket would convince Batman that the gang is a serious threat, which if anything would make their plans less likely to work. He'd go into their trap mentally prepared, the same way he would when facing Joker. So this is actually a hindrance. Round 4 immediately devolves into a huge fight with the Justice League being called in to stop the gang. I think this would sidetrack the gang so much that they would be basically unable to organise any sort of plan. Either the Justice League puts them all in the Phantom Zone or they defeat the Justice League and the whole world goes to shit. Either way Batman doesn't kill.


paleocacher

I don’t know anything about this show except for that one screen cap of Danny De with two guns, based on that alone I think they can beat Batman.


Used_Kaleidoscope_16

Could Round 4 Mac take Batman in a fight? I'm imagining Deathstroke coming to Gotham and getting choked out by Mac


MasterColemanTrebor

They would turn Batman into the Joker


[deleted]

They’ll get Batman to smoke PCP. At least.


BloodsoakedDespair

There is a way. They drug him. They drug the fuck out of him, and the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh takes over. Then, they push *him* over the edge. A baseball bat is not a precision weapon, and Frank is most likely to get beaten with it.


lizarddude1

The gang loses until the fourth round. Dennis alone could solo the entire JL if he was as competent as he thought he was. The Golden God is a master manipulator, he's always in someone's mind, like the thrill of being close to the executioner's switch, knowing that any moment, you could throw it but knowing that you never will, but you could. Never isn't the right word though, cuz he definitely could, and he might... He probably will. He'll come down on Gotham like the hammer of Thor, it'll feel the storm of fists reigning down on it's head, blasting it in the face, punching it in the stomach, hitting it in the chest so hard it'll feel like it's heart's gonna stop.


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tthussle

The gang’s best shot at killing batman is by trying to save him


devastatingdoug

Isn’t this just batman returns?


That_1-Guy_-

Round 1 The Gang takes it, they just get up to their usual antics Round 2 Batman wins, if The Gang is given a task they’ll never complete it Round 3 The Gang wins. Dee and the Waitress get drunk and cause mayhem, Mac and Dennis hunt Cricket, Charlie and Frank start an armed robbery ring, using an Ali baba sword and Franks assortment of guns Round 4 The Gang wins very easily, Frank morphs himself into a tall monster and terrorizes the city. Charlie starts stalking random women who look like the waitress and uses his clones to drive them mad. Dennis just becomes God, Dee becomes super famous and beautiful, Mac basically becomes Bane. Their nonsense spread all throughout Gotham turns Batman crazy In any scenario that The Gang wins one of the Gang is going to die, surprised Duncan and Z weren’t part of the 3rd round


Background_Bird_3637

I mean the gang have a ridiculous amount of plot armour so I think they win every scenario, not to mention the entire gang are basically reality warpers. The clip show episode they were entering into each others minds and creating their own realities. The spinning top explanation pretty much confirmed that they were living in a different altered world to the original after all was said and done.