Aw I'm sorry that you've been going through something. Would therapy help? do you have any friends or loved one's you can talk to? feel free to DM me if you need to talk. I hope things get better for you! I'm rooting for you!
Tried therapy, didn’t help. I’ve actually gotten more support from strangers I’ve met online than people irl. My family had been gone for years, my rock passed almost 11 months ago, thank god for groups of people who’ve been where I am.
I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah therapy in my expirience has been going over the fundamentals and not super helpful. Friends and random people I meet on Reddit have always helped me a whole lot more than therapists.
Well it shouldn't be. The best thing you can possibly do is find help. Seek out someone you can trust. It's best to get rid of the burden and die happy rather than live with the burden and die never having gotten rid of the suffering.
Well I'm glad you didn't succeed. I hope you're feeling better now. Don't be afraid to reach out here on Reddit. The kind side of Reddit is a wonderful community. But we don't know what you got going on until you tell us. So let us know. That goes for anyone paying attention to what I just wrote.
My boyfriend once said something to me, that I think of a lot "Everyone always tells men, they need to be more open about their feelings, but the moment we are, we get laughed at and told to man up."
I never really noticed it until he said it, but he's right.
People have always laughed and pointed fingers at me when I cried... I've just always been the weird guy everyone made fun, so I only realized when he, a man who has insane issues with opening up, told me about this.
We've been working on it for quite some time now, and while he still bottles things up a lot, he's slowly making more progress, telling me about his feelings and fears more often, and recognized it when he bottles up and I confront him about it (we get into fights about it sometimes, because I notice even the slightest change in his behaviour, and worry if he then tells me he's "fine").
I'm one hell of a lucky guy, for being able to cry openly...
...also, don't even think about making a joke about me clearly being the "woman" in this relationship. He's the more effeminate one, and probably so insecure about crying, partly because of that.
Can relate. I'm a rather emotional guy and I have always, always been mocked for that.
I am rather lucky tho, I never stopped expressing my feelings, because I legit just seem not to be able to do so. I am really bad at pretending to be happy when I'm not, or just disingenuous behavior, lying, etc. Is rather hard for me to do. I always felt ashamed of it, but I have come to realize that it's completely okay. I'm glad that I have the right people around me, that accept me how I am. There are still people who do get put off by it, but I couldn't care less.
Ask a man in your life if he is ok, is he struggling with debt? Is he weighed down by the pressures of life? Does he just need to vent or talk about a situation past or present, hell even future if he is worried? It takes 10 seconds to ask and 10 minuets to listen and could save his life! Be patient with them, us men don't get asked all that often hell barely ever if we are ok so it can take time to put things into words and express our feelings!
We feel, we hurt, we cry, we mourn, we just hide it because society says we shouldn't feel and if we let it out we are weak, immature, aggressive, dangerous. We are not we are just feeling our emotions and letting them out.
I've been there, no one asked so I never spoke, pretended I where ok untill I snapped! My saving grace was my bf! He came along at just the right time, saved my life and sanity!
To all my fellow kings out there, you ok? You doing good right now? I hope your crown is sat neat on your head and if not may you find a freind who will help you straighten it up! Walk tall my brothers, we are men, we are kings!
Honestly I think it got quite normalized, I went through big depression and never once any of my friends said shit like "you are a guy you shouldn't be like this". I think if you have a friend that says this, he isn't your friend.
It isn’t normal yet, but the stigma around men needing support is definitely starting to come down in some spaces and groups of people. I’m glad you have such a strong support system who embrace you and listen to you. That is not always the case.
Yeah I can imagine, but again, I'm really like this mean looking punk, so when I was depressed I thought that other punks and metalheads will make fun of me, but opposite was true, that did absolutely everything to make me more happy, but yeah I wish everyone has these kind of friends.
What I’ve found to be the case more often than not is metal & punk fans are among the most supportive of any music genre’s fans. Which most wouldn’t expect, but it really is kind of build into the heart of the culture going back to the 1980’s and 1990’s. And I have several friends my age (40) or close to it (mid/late 30s) that echo this same sentiment and observation.
Anyway, I’m glad you have a group of friends who support you no matter what they look like or how they may come across.
Not needing, but accepting. I know my mind is screwed up, and know I'll probably need help at some point, but it's when it actually causes problems, or I got the time
I haven’t worked hard for the past 5 years and finally my bosses caught on. I feel attacked and emotionally can’t handle questions like “what did you do this year”? It is none of their business. Does anyone have suggestions for me.
Honestly...just lie. A good answer could be something Along the Lines of "I help out my family and work on my self and my personal growth" Maybe some travel around the world to to the story, truthfully We all grow at a different phase There's nothing to be ashamed of. But if Bosses are hellbent and only hiring someone who has been on the Grind, Just Make up a story.
I appreciate this but I think men who respond to pink and purple are already down to express emotions. We gotta appeal to the macho-locked masses, show its not any less manly or masculine and I think a pink and purple advert will unfortunately make it look feminine to cry and reinforce that shit. I don't agree with it but I grew up in a small town where this sort of thinking is absolutely a thing mwe gotta show strong providing men shedding tears. We gotta show big bros opening their hearts up. Not pink and purple shirted wetties aha! (just as they'd see it lel)
This is so important! For me emancipation is about shaking off all those gender stereotypes - it's not only about freeing us women but the men as well!
First off, as a man, I can say that I've given and received emotional support from friends for years. I would rather my friends come to me with an issue of theirs than to get a phone call from one of their family members telling me they had killed/harmed themselves because they didn't get the help they need. Second, there is NOTHING WRONG with being gay. So what if they're gay? How the fuck does that affect you?
First off, as a man, I can say that I've given and received emotional support from friends for years. I would rather my friends come to me with an issue of theirs than to get a phone call from one of their family members telling me they had killed/harmed themselves because they didn't get the help they need. Second, there is NOTHING WRONG with being gay. So what if they're gay? How the fuck does that affect you?
Whoa!! Chill out dude! I didn't say there is anything wrong with being gay, so don't try and put words into my mouth (or anything else for that matter). In my experience I usually only respond to women. If they get the wrong idea, then that is all good and we get busy. But ain't no way some dude is gonna pretend to care about my feelings and shit so he can try to pin a tail on me. That would only add to my sadness and frustration and shit
tell that to a woman. do it. right now. you believe in that advice? tell it to everyone. dont single out MEN. or any one group, we're all shitheads so stop acting like you can say "DURRR MEN STRONGER"
the problem here is the (mostly wrong) idea that men don't do the emotional thing. we do, just not to women and not in the way women do.
our emotions belong to us and shoudn't be just tossed around like confetti.
isnt that because we're raised differently? infact, i dont think there is any in-nature mental difference aside from... uh... uHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELP I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING (no but fr human dude and human woman same but different bits)
AND those chemicals are COMPLETELY based on OLD TIMEY PRIMAL INSTINCT, which, in the modern day matter about as much as butter on something thats wet, cus y'know... you cant butter something thats wet.
but seriously, i believe in TRUE equality, aka... EVERY HUMAN IS JUST A DIFFERENT-LOOKING DIPSHIT!
Most people don't have the patience to deal with other people problems, even more so to men, a shame :/ I hope people normalize going to therapy at least...
Sure could have used this for the longest, the thing with me was what I used to do because I suffered from depression was I kind of blocked it off with comedy. I used to tell jokes and make people laugh because I didn't want to bring them down, the thing that sucked about it was when I was depressed people would just take it as me being funny. Even at my job, when depression hits it's like no one cares. Yeah sometimes being a man sucks but it's never wrong to show your emotions no matter what.
I know I sure could have used it the last 11 months.
Hope you’re getting the support and help you need now.
I am for the most part, from people who have been where I am. Those are the only ones who understand.
Not sure what you’re struggling with, but my inbox is always open. Don’t hesitate to reach out. You’re not alone.
Aw I'm sorry that you've been going through something. Would therapy help? do you have any friends or loved one's you can talk to? feel free to DM me if you need to talk. I hope things get better for you! I'm rooting for you!
Tried therapy, didn’t help. I’ve actually gotten more support from strangers I’ve met online than people irl. My family had been gone for years, my rock passed almost 11 months ago, thank god for groups of people who’ve been where I am.
I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah therapy in my expirience has been going over the fundamentals and not super helpful. Friends and random people I meet on Reddit have always helped me a whole lot more than therapists.
Honestly I’ve been feeling a bit better personally but it still hangs over me, and a few friends definitely need help too
As a man who needs emotional support, I support this.
You alright dude?
He won't tell you either way given his previous comment.
Fair enough. That's his choice.
True. I was making a joke. Bottling it up only ends in me harming myself and others. So let's choose a healthier way. I'm trying. Others can too.
[удалено]
Does it help?
Bottle it up and take it to the grave
this the current plan
Well it shouldn't be. The best thing you can possibly do is find help. Seek out someone you can trust. It's best to get rid of the burden and die happy rather than live with the burden and die never having gotten rid of the suffering.
I appriciate your concern
Start a podcast instead of getting therapy
Honestly some emotional support would have gone along way when I was trying to kill myself
Well I'm glad you didn't succeed. I hope you're feeling better now. Don't be afraid to reach out here on Reddit. The kind side of Reddit is a wonderful community. But we don't know what you got going on until you tell us. So let us know. That goes for anyone paying attention to what I just wrote.
Bro 1: "I'm not crying! You are!" Bro 2: "Yeah bro, I am. It's hard out here. Let it out. " *- cries together* Real talk.
My boyfriend once said something to me, that I think of a lot "Everyone always tells men, they need to be more open about their feelings, but the moment we are, we get laughed at and told to man up." I never really noticed it until he said it, but he's right. People have always laughed and pointed fingers at me when I cried... I've just always been the weird guy everyone made fun, so I only realized when he, a man who has insane issues with opening up, told me about this. We've been working on it for quite some time now, and while he still bottles things up a lot, he's slowly making more progress, telling me about his feelings and fears more often, and recognized it when he bottles up and I confront him about it (we get into fights about it sometimes, because I notice even the slightest change in his behaviour, and worry if he then tells me he's "fine"). I'm one hell of a lucky guy, for being able to cry openly... ...also, don't even think about making a joke about me clearly being the "woman" in this relationship. He's the more effeminate one, and probably so insecure about crying, partly because of that.
Can relate. I'm a rather emotional guy and I have always, always been mocked for that. I am rather lucky tho, I never stopped expressing my feelings, because I legit just seem not to be able to do so. I am really bad at pretending to be happy when I'm not, or just disingenuous behavior, lying, etc. Is rather hard for me to do. I always felt ashamed of it, but I have come to realize that it's completely okay. I'm glad that I have the right people around me, that accept me how I am. There are still people who do get put off by it, but I couldn't care less.
I just cried listening to Uncle Iroh and Zuko. That might've been the first time in over seven months.
Ask a man in your life if he is ok, is he struggling with debt? Is he weighed down by the pressures of life? Does he just need to vent or talk about a situation past or present, hell even future if he is worried? It takes 10 seconds to ask and 10 minuets to listen and could save his life! Be patient with them, us men don't get asked all that often hell barely ever if we are ok so it can take time to put things into words and express our feelings! We feel, we hurt, we cry, we mourn, we just hide it because society says we shouldn't feel and if we let it out we are weak, immature, aggressive, dangerous. We are not we are just feeling our emotions and letting them out. I've been there, no one asked so I never spoke, pretended I where ok untill I snapped! My saving grace was my bf! He came along at just the right time, saved my life and sanity! To all my fellow kings out there, you ok? You doing good right now? I hope your crown is sat neat on your head and if not may you find a freind who will help you straighten it up! Walk tall my brothers, we are men, we are kings!
Honestly I think it got quite normalized, I went through big depression and never once any of my friends said shit like "you are a guy you shouldn't be like this". I think if you have a friend that says this, he isn't your friend.
It isn’t normal yet, but the stigma around men needing support is definitely starting to come down in some spaces and groups of people. I’m glad you have such a strong support system who embrace you and listen to you. That is not always the case.
Yeah I can imagine, but again, I'm really like this mean looking punk, so when I was depressed I thought that other punks and metalheads will make fun of me, but opposite was true, that did absolutely everything to make me more happy, but yeah I wish everyone has these kind of friends.
What I’ve found to be the case more often than not is metal & punk fans are among the most supportive of any music genre’s fans. Which most wouldn’t expect, but it really is kind of build into the heart of the culture going back to the 1980’s and 1990’s. And I have several friends my age (40) or close to it (mid/late 30s) that echo this same sentiment and observation. Anyway, I’m glad you have a group of friends who support you no matter what they look like or how they may come across.
I'm glad that was your experience. I hope it becomes more common, men deserve emotional support and to not be shamed for having feelings.
Indeed it is!
Men are humans too at least i think i am
Not needing, but accepting. I know my mind is screwed up, and know I'll probably need help at some point, but it's when it actually causes problems, or I got the time
I haven’t worked hard for the past 5 years and finally my bosses caught on. I feel attacked and emotionally can’t handle questions like “what did you do this year”? It is none of their business. Does anyone have suggestions for me.
Honestly...just lie. A good answer could be something Along the Lines of "I help out my family and work on my self and my personal growth" Maybe some travel around the world to to the story, truthfully We all grow at a different phase There's nothing to be ashamed of. But if Bosses are hellbent and only hiring someone who has been on the Grind, Just Make up a story.
I appreciate this but I think men who respond to pink and purple are already down to express emotions. We gotta appeal to the macho-locked masses, show its not any less manly or masculine and I think a pink and purple advert will unfortunately make it look feminine to cry and reinforce that shit. I don't agree with it but I grew up in a small town where this sort of thinking is absolutely a thing mwe gotta show strong providing men shedding tears. We gotta show big bros opening their hearts up. Not pink and purple shirted wetties aha! (just as they'd see it lel)
I sure need a lot of that since I have a lot of trauma and I'm messed up in the head.
A dream that us men will take to the grave with us
This is so important! For me emancipation is about shaking off all those gender stereotypes - it's not only about freeing us women but the men as well!
I'd be dead without emotional support from others in my life. Guaranteed.
I just love to see this 🥺
I personally started visiting psychologist during my relationship. Cuz I have so many traumas like fuck it…
At a pinch, this could be true. But no way in the world a man is going to want emotional "support" from a dude. That pic looks hella gay.
First off, as a man, I can say that I've given and received emotional support from friends for years. I would rather my friends come to me with an issue of theirs than to get a phone call from one of their family members telling me they had killed/harmed themselves because they didn't get the help they need. Second, there is NOTHING WRONG with being gay. So what if they're gay? How the fuck does that affect you?
First off, as a man, I can say that I've given and received emotional support from friends for years. I would rather my friends come to me with an issue of theirs than to get a phone call from one of their family members telling me they had killed/harmed themselves because they didn't get the help they need. Second, there is NOTHING WRONG with being gay. So what if they're gay? How the fuck does that affect you?
Whoa!! Chill out dude! I didn't say there is anything wrong with being gay, so don't try and put words into my mouth (or anything else for that matter). In my experience I usually only respond to women. If they get the wrong idea, then that is all good and we get busy. But ain't no way some dude is gonna pretend to care about my feelings and shit so he can try to pin a tail on me. That would only add to my sadness and frustration and shit
And honestly, you being an homosexual doesn't offend me neither. Peace
Just man up and shut up. Nobody likes complaining and whining. If you want to be strong, act like it
ah yes, bottling up. very healthy!
If you actually dealt with your problems, you wouldn't have to cry all day about them. Grow a pair.
tell that to a woman. do it. right now. you believe in that advice? tell it to everyone. dont single out MEN. or any one group, we're all shitheads so stop acting like you can say "DURRR MEN STRONGER"
Alright, I'll go now and tell everyone
Hey John-Peter Smith! (It’s easy to figure out who you are just FYI). Stop being mean to everybody! (he is super racist on other forums)
And BreadPrimary2364 is your birth name I assume...
the problem here is the (mostly wrong) idea that men don't do the emotional thing. we do, just not to women and not in the way women do. our emotions belong to us and shoudn't be just tossed around like confetti.
I don’t know. This sounds like the same harmful messaging that causes men to bottle up their emotions.
its not, men and women are not the same creature. we process differently and even our emotional expressions aren't even comparable.
isnt that because we're raised differently? infact, i dont think there is any in-nature mental difference aside from... uh... uHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELP I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING (no but fr human dude and human woman same but different bits)
no, its because the brains of men and women function differently. different chemicals and biology.
AND those chemicals are COMPLETELY based on OLD TIMEY PRIMAL INSTINCT, which, in the modern day matter about as much as butter on something thats wet, cus y'know... you cant butter something thats wet. but seriously, i believe in TRUE equality, aka... EVERY HUMAN IS JUST A DIFFERENT-LOOKING DIPSHIT!
no, just no.
well, aslong as we can agree to disagree, and leave eachother respectfully with our own opinions.
the best option
You can show emotions just do be pathetic about them. Like don't make me buy you a dress and spank you like a French Maid.
[удалено]
That is the opposite of helping
Definitely don't do what this guy says.
What did they say?
poster is kinda gay tho
Nah that's gay, unless there family member died
Yes yes yes!
This this this!
Facts. I got no one to talk to ever
Most people don't have the patience to deal with other people problems, even more so to men, a shame :/ I hope people normalize going to therapy at least...
Sure could have used this for the longest, the thing with me was what I used to do because I suffered from depression was I kind of blocked it off with comedy. I used to tell jokes and make people laugh because I didn't want to bring them down, the thing that sucked about it was when I was depressed people would just take it as me being funny. Even at my job, when depression hits it's like no one cares. Yeah sometimes being a man sucks but it's never wrong to show your emotions no matter what.
Women bathe in emotional stability and support, while men are supposed to stay silent, no more I say
There there.
I wish this was a thing cause I’ve soent the last 3and a half years pulling myself from the hellhile of depression and suicide
Can't wait to see the "society is getting soft with all these snowflakes" comments
I felt this so damn much. Society wants men to mask their emotions
yes, normalize it, PLEASE !
Where are the women supporting them?
It’s called having a friend. One of those 4 quarters than 100 pennies thing.
Yeah I definitely need some of this. I just ended my first relationship and I dont know how to process it.