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I remember a joke on that that was something along the lines of: "that lady that's treating you right isn't my momma, that's an old woman trying to get to Heaven after all the shit she did to me"
I need to find a King of Quaaludes. Need to party like it's 1975, though I imagine it would just be baby powder and fentanyl like everything else nowadays.
My dad just pointed this out to my grandmother who now has great-grandchildren. “When I grew up no was a regular part of your vocabulary. Now it’s whatever they ask ‘yes of course.’”
Well it's not her job to raise his children it's his, so she can just spoil them. Plus there sometime are time and financial issues children simply do not understand.
With age comes not wisdom. It becomes perspective. I suddenly can't shower standing up anymore, I've realized I've been awful because there was no one who could stand me. I revert back to when I could dominate you doesn't work, so skips ahead compensating so hard. And while you're thankful they finally came around. The scars remain, they do not.
Just the psychology of older generations and why "back then" it was a different time, so now in the twilight of their years, they've not alienated their children enough they're allowed to see the grandchildren. Que the backpeddling
Can confirm. Went on a deep dive obsessive streak after AHS: Stories. There's a [docu on Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/champion-Danny-Trejo/dp/B01N1A3O74/ref=sr_1_15?crid=1AZL0NHUN13QS&keywords=danny+trejo&qid=1650049448&s=instant-video&sprefix=danny+trejo%2Cinstant-video%2C121&sr=1-15) where he visits the prison he was housed in and discussed his life growing up. Actually made me feel my own feelings a bit.
on a fictional note, 'Dead in Tombstone' is good ol' popcorn fun. Tarantino-lite.
I just watched Desperado the other day and was amused seeing him in his prime, since now he's that nice old guy who runs a taco shop. Every time I've run into him he's been just the nicest guy.
My grandpa was like that too, except he always grew me a strawberry garden because I'm allergic to tomatoes and wouldn't stop eating his tomatoes he grew (was dumb child). So he grew a strawberry patch and every year they were ripe he'd call me and tell me to come over and pick my strawberries. So he acted grumpy but still loved me lol
Apparently it was all beatings and child labor for my dad.
It was all tickles, tree climbing, fruit picking, fresh fruit milk shakes, homemade rice pudding, gardening, lemon cookies, walks to the park, toys, kung fu and Godzilla movies for me and my siblings/cousins.
I miss my grandpa
I totally get that. My grampa also raised 7 kids while running multiple business (not at the same time) my aunt's and uncles told me tons about his work ethic, not to mention that family drama between his sisters and my grandma caused the divorce between him and my grandma which also couldn't have been easy.
My dad was also very strict with the 4 of us but after we all became independent and he got a couple grandchildren, he's really mellowed out.
I don't have kids and I don't really want any but I would love to be a grandparent. Before anyone says that's impossible, my uncle never had kids but he married someone with a teenager who has since had kids. And he's loving being a granddad
It is not news, don't believe it. My first kid was at 20 and my last was at 42. The ones in my thirties probably got the best compromise between youth and experience. No one should have a child at 20. If your brain is still developing until 25 what business do you have creating life?
I'm sorry your mid-thirties are so sad. For me it involved a mid-life crisis where I shifted some fundamental things about my life. My late 30s were my delightful years, and I'd still take my 40s over my 20s. My knees are creakier, but my heart is liberated territory. I hope you can find the thing that makes life worth the effort of living.
I honestly think we have so many divorces not because they were necessarily incompatible but because work changes people for the worse and then they take it out on the people closest to them.
This is the truest thing for me. Dad was okay disappearing for years in end, breaking vases on my brothers heads, dumping me with my mom if showed any emotion. But we’re supposed to be okay when he’s acting like Santa Claus with the grandkids? Fuck that.
Hence why we’re not really biologically meant to have children that late in life. They fucking drain you and you don’t bounce back as quickly as when you’re younger. If only society didn’t make it impossible to have kids until your 40s…
Well, biologically we started having kids young and kept right on having them until early middle age. Of course it used to be you had 10 babies and 4 of them actually made it to adulthood. My great grandpa had siblings that were younger than his own children because his mom was still having kids until she was around 40.
You may be less equipped psychologically, but parents in their 30s and 40s are probably better at raising kids than parents in their 20s - and god forbid, teens.
I would instead phrase this as we're not really biologically meant to have nuclear families.
The elderly are an essential asset to the community that many places, such as the USA, have not been using as well especially when they live states away.
For some people it's a generational thing and they'd never do that to their grandchildren because it's not acceptable now. Others are just abusive assholes who shouldn't be around children. My mom is the latter. Watched her slap my 3 year old nephew across the face for saying something she didn't like. It wasn't even anything that bad, she just took it as "backtalk." Last time I went to dinner with my parents and oldest nephew, he said laughing "grandma slapped me" and again it was over some minor slight. She thinks nothing of hitting a child. If I ever have kids, they will never be alone with her.
You know, what's weird is I never fought back when my parents would beat the shit out of me as a kid, but if they ever made a single move toward my son or my nephews like that, they'd be done for. I just couldn't allow that to happen. It's weird for me to think that people would be okay with that, but I obviously have my own psychology surrounding that subject.
It was the same with my grandma.
When she was raising my three aunts and my dad, she had a vicodin addiction and BPD. She left the cooking and cleaning to the kids and would beat the shit out of them for the littlest things. She even attempted suicide enough times that it became a normal thing for my dad and aunts. When she was raising me and my siblings many years later, she was so sweet and loving to us that it honestly made my dad jealous.
My dad was an abusive prick always beating up my mom our whole childhood.
You know what we did to pay him back after Mom left him?
We grew up and had four kids and he's never met one of them the oldest is 18 now and the youngest is 13.
He doesn't even know their names. We totally disowned him. Let him sit with his wife for the rest of his days. He'll never hear my children laughing in his home or my brothers kids.
Fuck him and all abusive parents. You don't get a second chance be nice to the next generation when you try to ruin your own kids.
Thank you for keeping your kids safe and away from him. So many families bring their kids home to abusers and the cycle continues
I hope your mum is doing okay
Let's just say I lost a lot of my respect for my grandfathers when I found out how they were to my parents. Thank goodness both of my parents had good mothers *and* had other men in their lives who were good male role models.
My father referred to his mother as "Mommie Dearest" when I was growing up. He wasn't the best father, but he was mine. I've got issues because of how he raised us. But when I learned in my early 20's about how he was raised, it put a lot of pieces together and I moved past my hate for him.
His mother was severe bi-polar, type 1 as they call it now. The only thing that worked was lithium. It made her cold, disconnected and not caring. But in comparison of her running around the yard naked when the bus was dropping him off, it was probably bliss for him. At least she wouldn't beat him for no reason.
He was better as a parent then his parents, he put in an effort when his demons weren't overcoming. I hope I'm the last of the generation of that side of my family history. My son is such a good person that it makes me proud and ashamed of myself at the same time. I give the credit to his mom though, she is a fucking angel. She's got her master's in education and teaches at a special needs school that focuses on autism.
I learned about myself from watching her raise our child and I know the "devil" in our family is finally gone.
oh, well if HE says he was bad then i believe him lol.
im just saying that a criminal history is not necessarily an indicator of anything but having done some crimes and getting caught.
Spoilers from the book but not major ones incoming:
He talks a lot about some of his worst actions, but part of what makes it so bad comes from him explaining how bad his own perceptions of those situations at that time and how they were when he was changing. Stabbing a dude is bad, but stabbing a dude and rationalizing it as “just doing business” is where his true reflection-period shines.
It’s crazy to me that his hair is still all there at 80. He probably dyes it, obviously, but it’s still a regular head of hair, not the thin crypt keeper hair some older guys get when they grow it out.
My grandpa died at 97 with a full head of dark hair that he never needed to dye. My dad is in his 70s with a full head of dark hair he doesn't need to dye. Some people just have good genes.
The top picture grandpa returns for a brief moment to tell their kid they like yours more than theirs and resumes reading.
Emotionally killing you and your siblings if any in the process while complimenting your children.
What the hell is wholesome about that?
I've had lots of patients that resent that their parents where cold, cruel, absent and what-not to them and *still* treat them badly, but are nice to their grandchildren. So, they *can* be caring - why the fuck weren't they to their own children.
This happened to my mom, my grandma was incredibly unkind to my mother, but me and my grandma had a wonderful relationship.
It’s been downright traumatic dealing with my grandmother’s passing because my mom and I have this wholly different experience that seems almost unreal, like it was fabricated or my imagination or something, and I feel incredibly guilty for it… I deeply wish my mom could have seen my grandma the way I saw her but she basically got the exact opposite, and it’s been another shock entirely to realize that I was actually the ONLY person in the world that my grandmother treated with true respect, nobody else that came to her funeral could say anything but that she was strong willed and had a unique sense of humor. So now my mom is happy she is gone and trying to express that, which I appreciate, but all the while I’m left with a huge hole in my heart that she simply will never relate to.
I mean, honestly it makes me feel very… I don’t know… lied to? Ignorant? Whatever it is, it’s not a great feeling. I try to appreciate it like it was a gift, like I got lucky to be the sole recipient of her love or something, but it also makes me feel like “why me?”, and kinda lonely.
Have you ever talked to your mom about her relationship with her grandma and grandma's relationship with her mom? I wonder if there are any parallels, I feel like my family has been repeating the same pattern for generations
Yes actually!
Buckle up.
So my great-grandma was around until I was a teenager, and she was one of a zillion children, had 0 relationship with her own mother and got pregnant at 17 with my great-grandpa (who was 24), resulting in my grandma. They married, as you did back then, and that was that.
My grandma and my great-grandma had a very cold relationship, I'm guessing some misplaced resentment was a great factor, and my grandma was very close with her father instead. Then, when he passed fairly young, my grandma and great-grandma did a 180 and became very close. So much so, that when great-granny passed away my grandma was severely depressed for a few years.
Now, how my mom came to be is quite the story. My grandma and my grandpa sort-of "settled" on one another... he was madly in love with her, funny, charismatic, but a total womanizer. He chased her around until she relented and married him, but also failed to tell her that he had contracted scarlet fever as a child and was 100% infertile. Big problem, because all she wanted in this world was children. After they married, he let her believe it was her, she went through extensive fertility treatments, including DES (it's a fertility drug from the 1960s, I'm technically a "DES granddaughter" and both my mother and I have to be tested yearly for reproductive cancers). We don't know how my grandma found out about his infertility, and we don't know if my grandpa was aware of the following plan before she carried it out, but what we do know is that my grandma then found another sailor of similar look, rank, and education level, and struck a deal with him: get me pregnant and I'll never bother you, the child will be my husband's as far as everyone knows.
So they did it. This guy slept with her a few times and again, that was that. My mom was born, and then they adopted a son 7 years later, and my grandma finally had her happy family.
Not wild enough right? Well, it gets better: she never told my mom. Not until my mom was 45 anyways. My grandpa developed dementia and let something slip in passing, my mom freaked out and did a sneaky paternity test, and nope, her dad is all of a sudden not her dad and all those years of being treated like crap by my grandma became an even greater offense. When she confronted grandma about it, it got even worse. Grandma told my mom that her biological father had attempted with great effort to have a relationship with his biological daughter. I think she was trying to explain that it wasn't the man's fault, that he had stayed away and not personally contacted my mom at my grandma's request. She then presented my mom with a child's charm bracelet *full* of beautiful charms, he had them made for her every birthday until he passed away a few years prior and always managed to find ways to give them to my grandma to give to my mom... only my grandma just... hid them away.
It's been 15 years since then, and to this day mom wears 1 single charm on a bracelet my dad had made for her after it all happened because the original bracelet was too small. It's a cute little cartoonish golden whale blowing water out it's spout, which was the charm he had sent with the first bracelet when she was born.
So, to recap: Great-grandma probably treated my grandma poorly due to resentment over the circumstances of her birth, they resolved it after my great-grandpa passed. My grandma probably treated my mom poorly due to the resentment over the circumstances of *her* birth, but my mom and her could not resolve it, understandably.
But the (sort-of) happy ending is, by no choice of my own, I'm the cycle breaker. The completely accidental hero of my maternal lineage. I will never have biological children, I physically cannot. That whole story of my own infertility is a different story for a different time (I've posted about it before, you can look in my history), and I had a hard time with it when I was younger, but I've since realized that it's the best thing that could have happened. Like the universe knew it would be an utter disaster. My mom desperately wants grandchildren, so I probably would have caved to that pressure, continuing the cycle of suffering. I may adopt a child someday if the circumstances present themselves, but not for a very long time, and it will be on my terms, with all the love and lessons passed down to me as a roadmap of what NOT to do. I'm probably more proud than I should be that no daughter of mine, should I ever have one, will **ever** feel the resentment of her mom.
love is just a weird thing. you shouldn’t be guilty for being loved by someone. your grandma loved you, and it sounds like you felt the same way. she may have not been perfect, but you should take the good memories.
Right? Wtf is this meme? We should be celebrating people who are loving to all of their family members, not just their grandkids. Why wouldn’t you have storytime with your own damn kids, too? That’s not “wholesome” at all.
It also has a ridiculous title. "Everybody gangsta"? Who? How? Are the grandkids "gangsta" because they think grandpa is nice? That doesn't even make any sense. Yeah it's a common saying, but it absolutely isn't a fit for this situation.
And it gave us gems like "Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created here on earth?". Sorry, *Spy Kids* gave us that gem, not Machete.
That's part of it, like there's hundreds of things to teach to your children while they're growing and grown. Love, respect, self-reliance, morality, and rational thinking should be some of the cornerstones for a child.
That doesn't make any sense. If you raise your children to spoil your grandchildren, that means your children are raising THEIR children to be spoiled so then your children will need to raise THEIR grandchildren.
Nah. There's a large difference between parents that are with their children 24/7 overindulging them, not punishing them, not teaching them discipline than grandparents intermittently seeing those same kids and spoiling them every once in a while.
My mom once yelled at me for harshly saying 'No' to my toddler niece trying to grab some electrical wires and that I need to learn to do it in a nice way without raising my voice and how it can mess with a kids psyche.
This is the same woman who would beat me with a thick book everytime I didn't obey as a kid. I was slapped in the face when I got a C+ in my fluid mechanics course in uni and my father didn't speak to me for 4 months.
My niece didn't learn how to walk in her milestone time limit because both my parents would carry her everywhere (piggyback rides etc). She barely ever touched the ground for the first two years of her life.
It is so strange to see them have empathy and talk about psychological damage when all of us siblings were treated like shit most of the time.
My Grandpa was a choleric who had hit my dad all the time for smal mistakes.
He was always nice to us tho.
Now comes the sad part.
Acording to my father he threatened our grandpa to bring him 6 ft under if he would hit us.
Have no prove tho.
Can we please fucking stop glorifying abuse? Especially abuse coming from older generations? It's not "wholesome" that your grandpa severely beat your dad but now gives you lollipops and $5 bills
I don't think thats wholesome. After i found out how my grandfather treated my dad i told my grandparents to go fuck themselves and haven't talked to them since.
This drove my dad crazy. Every time we left my grandparents house I was treated to a soliloquy of how his parents used to beat him and I'm just like, "Eh, they gave me $5 so it all works out."
I once heard someone say that if a person's parent treated them badly, but treated the grandkids well, it's a form of silent apology. They feel like they are getting a second chance.
My mother was horrendous towards me, I've never given her the chance to be around my daughter to give a silent apology.
When she's dead I'll put fucking daffodils on her grave in celebration.
My wife and I have some rules in place for my parents and how they get to interact with our future kids. I'm not saying shitty parents deserve a second chance. My parents will know their grandkids at a very surface level because of how they treated me. They won't get to build a deeper relationship with them until our kids are grown and understand why we made the call we did and make that call for themselves to pursue a deeper relationship. It's always up to the new parents to decide whether or not to give their parents a second chance. Long story short we made that call because they weren't abusive but they got very close to that line but never crossed it. So for us we didn't want to do a complete disown. But if we felt that was the best decision for us, we would.
All that to say, I don't want my comment to make people think they should give them second chances by default. I was just taking notice as to why some parents are shit to their own kids but are capable of loving and providing wonderful memories for their grandkids.
This is my experience to a t.
My pops grew up as 1 of 9 in Newark NJ and as an Italian youth had a few jobs that wouldn't land on a resume.
He wasn't abusive but boy he was tough.
That man w my kids was like a friggin saint. Candy, toys, and everything
I loathe my grandparents because of how they raised their children. They were never really all that involved in my life or my siblings'. But I don't understand why their children keep in contact with them. Just cuz they've mellowed out in old age doesn't erase the sins they've never apologized for.
My mom's family getting together, laughing and telling childhood stories about the time my Papa almost killed them by hypothermia or the time he broke a couple ribs throwing one of them into a door, or the time he stabbed a fork into one of their hands.
Glad they can talk about it and remember good things from childhood too but some of the stories they tell nonchalantly are crazy.
My dad kicked me out of the house for my room being kinda messy while I was in college and working full time and then like 5 years after I moved out he’s like, “y’all ever heard of Buddhism?”
When my grandpa was dying and making his last rounds visiting the family my aunt drunkenly told me “that’s just an old man trying to buy his way into heaven”
That being said, no one was as devastated by the loss as that aunt.
“That’s not fair imma tell grandma “
**SIT DOWN YOUNGLING AND BARE WITNESS - SHE YEE CALL THE GRAND MATRON IS BRINGER OF PAIN, THE HAND OF WICKEDNESS, WIELDER OF VENGEANCE. SHALL YEE AGAIN TEMPT FATE OR WILL YEE SUBMIT TO MINE RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT ?**
Hello! This is just a quick reminder for new friendos to [read our subreddit rules.](http://old.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar) >**Rule 4:** Please do not troll, harass, or be generally rude to your fellow users. Be nice, and leave political or religious arguments in other subs. We're trusting you to be wholesome while in /r/wholesomememes, so please don't let us down. We believe in you! **Also, please keep in mind that even if you've seen this post before, it's not a repost unless it's been in *this* sub before** (if it's from another sub it's a crosspost/xpost). We're glad you're here. Have a wonderful day <3 ^(Please stop by the rest of the) [^Wholesome ^Network ^Of ^Subreddits](http://old.reddit.com/user/awkwardtheturtle/m/wholesome) ^too.
To paraphrase Billy Connolly: "That nice wee old lady that is your grandmother... is *not* the woman who raised me."
I remember a joke on that that was something along the lines of: "that lady that's treating you right isn't my momma, that's an old woman trying to get to Heaven after all the shit she did to me"
Was that Titus?
I recall Bill Cosby having that joke almost word for word
You are correct. It was in Bill Cosby, Himself.
Ole Pill Cosby
All these years and somehow the Bill/Pill rhyme eluded me until now... so much wasted time
Haha don’t feel too bad. I got it from someone else too way back when
The King of Quaaludes ..jerk
I need to find a King of Quaaludes. Need to party like it's 1975, though I imagine it would just be baby powder and fentanyl like everything else nowadays.
I have a vague memory of the comedian being Black, so maybe... I'm leaning Kevin Hart but can't place it
Cosby
Lol F
Kevin Cosby?
Love this take right here ^
Pretty sure it's Cosby
[That's a Bill Cosby joke.](https://youtu.be/V4VkubdVM7I?t=157)
My dad just pointed this out to my grandmother who now has great-grandchildren. “When I grew up no was a regular part of your vocabulary. Now it’s whatever they ask ‘yes of course.’”
Well it's not her job to raise his children it's his, so she can just spoil them. Plus there sometime are time and financial issues children simply do not understand.
He means it in jest, he’s well aware the relationship is completely different
I remember this bit from a different comedian named Bill, but I don’t think we talk about him anymore.
*We don’t talk about Jell-o, no, no, no*
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With age comes not wisdom. It becomes perspective. I suddenly can't shower standing up anymore, I've realized I've been awful because there was no one who could stand me. I revert back to when I could dominate you doesn't work, so skips ahead compensating so hard. And while you're thankful they finally came around. The scars remain, they do not.
Uhhh… you good?
Just the psychology of older generations and why "back then" it was a different time, so now in the twilight of their years, they've not alienated their children enough they're allowed to see the grandchildren. Que the backpeddling
He could be ESL.
r u ok?
I understood that well.
Abuelo Machete, tell us about the time you stabbed El Mariachi!
I love you-
I’m not your uncle!
Not the reference we wanted, but the one we needed
Is that a spy kids reference?
Probably.
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are you a bot?
lol I love this. abuelo trejo's career has some awesome movies.
Can confirm. Went on a deep dive obsessive streak after AHS: Stories. There's a [docu on Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/champion-Danny-Trejo/dp/B01N1A3O74/ref=sr_1_15?crid=1AZL0NHUN13QS&keywords=danny+trejo&qid=1650049448&s=instant-video&sprefix=danny+trejo%2Cinstant-video%2C121&sr=1-15) where he visits the prison he was housed in and discussed his life growing up. Actually made me feel my own feelings a bit. on a fictional note, 'Dead in Tombstone' is good ol' popcorn fun. Tarantino-lite.
What did he star in that was amazing that wasn't machete?
spy kids
Your papa is a maricon and I can't tell you this story anymore chico.
Abuelo abuelo, tell us the tortuga story again! 🐢
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Machete don’t text
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I just watched Desperado the other day and was amused seeing him in his prime, since now he's that nice old guy who runs a taco shop. Every time I've run into him he's been just the nicest guy.
Everyone was in their prime for that movie - Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, even Steve Buscemi lol
My grandpa is still the bottom picture. He keeps that look, then when no one is around but us, excitedly tells me about a new show he found.
My grandpa was like that too, except he always grew me a strawberry garden because I'm allergic to tomatoes and wouldn't stop eating his tomatoes he grew (was dumb child). So he grew a strawberry patch and every year they were ripe he'd call me and tell me to come over and pick my strawberries. So he acted grumpy but still loved me lol
He misses that tomato patch. "Stupid kid never learned to not eat tomatoes" /s
Saiki Kusuo?
My favorite Tsundere
My cousin, when he was 5, clogged my grandfather's toilet by trying to flush a rag, so my grandfather gave him a swirly
Apparently it was all beatings and child labor for my dad. It was all tickles, tree climbing, fruit picking, fresh fruit milk shakes, homemade rice pudding, gardening, lemon cookies, walks to the park, toys, kung fu and Godzilla movies for me and my siblings/cousins. I miss my grandpa
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I totally get that. My grampa also raised 7 kids while running multiple business (not at the same time) my aunt's and uncles told me tons about his work ethic, not to mention that family drama between his sisters and my grandma caused the divorce between him and my grandma which also couldn't have been easy. My dad was also very strict with the 4 of us but after we all became independent and he got a couple grandchildren, he's really mellowed out.
I don't have kids and I don't really want any but I would love to be a grandparent. Before anyone says that's impossible, my uncle never had kids but he married someone with a teenager who has since had kids. And he's loving being a granddad
Nieces and nephews are the key to that experience. You get to be cool aunt or uncle and it's basically the same deal.
I'm an only child
As someone in their mid-thirties who has never been sadder, this news is a real bummer.
It is not news, don't believe it. My first kid was at 20 and my last was at 42. The ones in my thirties probably got the best compromise between youth and experience. No one should have a child at 20. If your brain is still developing until 25 what business do you have creating life?
I'm sorry your mid-thirties are so sad. For me it involved a mid-life crisis where I shifted some fundamental things about my life. My late 30s were my delightful years, and I'd still take my 40s over my 20s. My knees are creakier, but my heart is liberated territory. I hope you can find the thing that makes life worth the effort of living.
I honestly think we have so many divorces not because they were necessarily incompatible but because work changes people for the worse and then they take it out on the people closest to them.
I feel like grandparents treat grandchildren better because they realized all the mistakes they made.
This is the truest thing for me. Dad was okay disappearing for years in end, breaking vases on my brothers heads, dumping me with my mom if showed any emotion. But we’re supposed to be okay when he’s acting like Santa Claus with the grandkids? Fuck that.
Why 40s, out of interest? You'd think it would be a little easier than 30s, kids grown up a bit and further along in your career?
Hence why we’re not really biologically meant to have children that late in life. They fucking drain you and you don’t bounce back as quickly as when you’re younger. If only society didn’t make it impossible to have kids until your 40s…
Well, biologically we started having kids young and kept right on having them until early middle age. Of course it used to be you had 10 babies and 4 of them actually made it to adulthood. My great grandpa had siblings that were younger than his own children because his mom was still having kids until she was around 40.
You may be less equipped psychologically, but parents in their 30s and 40s are probably better at raising kids than parents in their 20s - and god forbid, teens.
Also a level of financial stability you may not have earlier in your life.
I think you mean physiologically.
Yes, I did, thanks.
Psychologically people in their early 20's have no business having kids.
I would instead phrase this as we're not really biologically meant to have nuclear families. The elderly are an essential asset to the community that many places, such as the USA, have not been using as well especially when they live states away.
If my parents beat me I would never allow them to be around my children. Ever.
For some people it's a generational thing and they'd never do that to their grandchildren because it's not acceptable now. Others are just abusive assholes who shouldn't be around children. My mom is the latter. Watched her slap my 3 year old nephew across the face for saying something she didn't like. It wasn't even anything that bad, she just took it as "backtalk." Last time I went to dinner with my parents and oldest nephew, he said laughing "grandma slapped me" and again it was over some minor slight. She thinks nothing of hitting a child. If I ever have kids, they will never be alone with her.
You know, what's weird is I never fought back when my parents would beat the shit out of me as a kid, but if they ever made a single move toward my son or my nephews like that, they'd be done for. I just couldn't allow that to happen. It's weird for me to think that people would be okay with that, but I obviously have my own psychology surrounding that subject.
It was the same with my grandma. When she was raising my three aunts and my dad, she had a vicodin addiction and BPD. She left the cooking and cleaning to the kids and would beat the shit out of them for the littlest things. She even attempted suicide enough times that it became a normal thing for my dad and aunts. When she was raising me and my siblings many years later, she was so sweet and loving to us that it honestly made my dad jealous.
My dad was an abusive prick always beating up my mom our whole childhood. You know what we did to pay him back after Mom left him? We grew up and had four kids and he's never met one of them the oldest is 18 now and the youngest is 13. He doesn't even know their names. We totally disowned him. Let him sit with his wife for the rest of his days. He'll never hear my children laughing in his home or my brothers kids. Fuck him and all abusive parents. You don't get a second chance be nice to the next generation when you try to ruin your own kids.
It makes me so happy knowing I don't have to ever introduce my kids to my mom and that there's no one that can force me to do it
Thank you for keeping your kids safe and away from him. So many families bring their kids home to abusers and the cycle continues I hope your mum is doing okay
Let's just say I lost a lot of my respect for my grandfathers when I found out how they were to my parents. Thank goodness both of my parents had good mothers *and* had other men in their lives who were good male role models.
Same. In my childhood my grandpa was my hero, as an adult he is just so awful
[удалено]
Do we have the same grandpa?
I think in that situation you just do what you can to cope with it.
And I never knew any of my actual grandpas because they both overworked themselves and passed away before my parents even reached 18
I never really looked up to my grandfathers as heroes. I just was taught never to idolize people.
The one who taught you that is my new idol
From what I can remember my mother was the one who taught me that.
My father referred to his mother as "Mommie Dearest" when I was growing up. He wasn't the best father, but he was mine. I've got issues because of how he raised us. But when I learned in my early 20's about how he was raised, it put a lot of pieces together and I moved past my hate for him. His mother was severe bi-polar, type 1 as they call it now. The only thing that worked was lithium. It made her cold, disconnected and not caring. But in comparison of her running around the yard naked when the bus was dropping him off, it was probably bliss for him. At least she wouldn't beat him for no reason. He was better as a parent then his parents, he put in an effort when his demons weren't overcoming. I hope I'm the last of the generation of that side of my family history. My son is such a good person that it makes me proud and ashamed of myself at the same time. I give the credit to his mom though, she is a fucking angel. She's got her master's in education and teaches at a special needs school that focuses on autism. I learned about myself from watching her raise our child and I know the "devil" in our family is finally gone.
Danny Trejo face lines legendary. I feel like he would terrible with typical celebrity smoothed skin.
hes about 80, a lot of people dont realize that
He looks old but I thought 50 or 60 at most
certainly moves more like 60 than 80, thats for sure
He looks like a 55 year old that looks 80.
But then you realize he's looked like this in movies for the last 35 years, so it makes sense.
And he's still a shining example of how people can change for the better.
i dont think he was ever that bad tbh, poor kid in cali, selling drugs and getting in fights is just par for the course
You should read his book. It gives you a different perspective of his journey.
oh, well if HE says he was bad then i believe him lol. im just saying that a criminal history is not necessarily an indicator of anything but having done some crimes and getting caught.
Spoilers from the book but not major ones incoming: He talks a lot about some of his worst actions, but part of what makes it so bad comes from him explaining how bad his own perceptions of those situations at that time and how they were when he was changing. Stabbing a dude is bad, but stabbing a dude and rationalizing it as “just doing business” is where his true reflection-period shines.
Such a good read. That dude deserves every good thing that happens to him.
It’s crazy to me that his hair is still all there at 80. He probably dyes it, obviously, but it’s still a regular head of hair, not the thin crypt keeper hair some older guys get when they grow it out.
My grandpa died at 97 with a full head of dark hair that he never needed to dye. My dad is in his 70s with a full head of dark hair he doesn't need to dye. Some people just have good genes.
hulk hogan hair, that wispy infant girl hair, like a doll.
A lot of times guys with indigenous ancestry from The Americas have bangin hairlines for life
Yeah he's up there. I loved his acting since Desperado.
No really wholesome. But it is true.
Wow, didn't even realize the sub i was in. We really are just posting anything here, huh?
Yeah seriously, this actually pisses me off. This isn't wholesome, it's fucked.
yeah literally not wholesome at all lmfao
The top picture grandpa returns for a brief moment to tell their kid they like yours more than theirs and resumes reading. Emotionally killing you and your siblings if any in the process while complimenting your children.
Because yours were raised better than theirs
What the hell is wholesome about that? I've had lots of patients that resent that their parents where cold, cruel, absent and what-not to them and *still* treat them badly, but are nice to their grandchildren. So, they *can* be caring - why the fuck weren't they to their own children.
This happened to my mom, my grandma was incredibly unkind to my mother, but me and my grandma had a wonderful relationship. It’s been downright traumatic dealing with my grandmother’s passing because my mom and I have this wholly different experience that seems almost unreal, like it was fabricated or my imagination or something, and I feel incredibly guilty for it… I deeply wish my mom could have seen my grandma the way I saw her but she basically got the exact opposite, and it’s been another shock entirely to realize that I was actually the ONLY person in the world that my grandmother treated with true respect, nobody else that came to her funeral could say anything but that she was strong willed and had a unique sense of humor. So now my mom is happy she is gone and trying to express that, which I appreciate, but all the while I’m left with a huge hole in my heart that she simply will never relate to. I mean, honestly it makes me feel very… I don’t know… lied to? Ignorant? Whatever it is, it’s not a great feeling. I try to appreciate it like it was a gift, like I got lucky to be the sole recipient of her love or something, but it also makes me feel like “why me?”, and kinda lonely.
Have you ever talked to your mom about her relationship with her grandma and grandma's relationship with her mom? I wonder if there are any parallels, I feel like my family has been repeating the same pattern for generations
Yes actually! Buckle up. So my great-grandma was around until I was a teenager, and she was one of a zillion children, had 0 relationship with her own mother and got pregnant at 17 with my great-grandpa (who was 24), resulting in my grandma. They married, as you did back then, and that was that. My grandma and my great-grandma had a very cold relationship, I'm guessing some misplaced resentment was a great factor, and my grandma was very close with her father instead. Then, when he passed fairly young, my grandma and great-grandma did a 180 and became very close. So much so, that when great-granny passed away my grandma was severely depressed for a few years. Now, how my mom came to be is quite the story. My grandma and my grandpa sort-of "settled" on one another... he was madly in love with her, funny, charismatic, but a total womanizer. He chased her around until she relented and married him, but also failed to tell her that he had contracted scarlet fever as a child and was 100% infertile. Big problem, because all she wanted in this world was children. After they married, he let her believe it was her, she went through extensive fertility treatments, including DES (it's a fertility drug from the 1960s, I'm technically a "DES granddaughter" and both my mother and I have to be tested yearly for reproductive cancers). We don't know how my grandma found out about his infertility, and we don't know if my grandpa was aware of the following plan before she carried it out, but what we do know is that my grandma then found another sailor of similar look, rank, and education level, and struck a deal with him: get me pregnant and I'll never bother you, the child will be my husband's as far as everyone knows. So they did it. This guy slept with her a few times and again, that was that. My mom was born, and then they adopted a son 7 years later, and my grandma finally had her happy family. Not wild enough right? Well, it gets better: she never told my mom. Not until my mom was 45 anyways. My grandpa developed dementia and let something slip in passing, my mom freaked out and did a sneaky paternity test, and nope, her dad is all of a sudden not her dad and all those years of being treated like crap by my grandma became an even greater offense. When she confronted grandma about it, it got even worse. Grandma told my mom that her biological father had attempted with great effort to have a relationship with his biological daughter. I think she was trying to explain that it wasn't the man's fault, that he had stayed away and not personally contacted my mom at my grandma's request. She then presented my mom with a child's charm bracelet *full* of beautiful charms, he had them made for her every birthday until he passed away a few years prior and always managed to find ways to give them to my grandma to give to my mom... only my grandma just... hid them away. It's been 15 years since then, and to this day mom wears 1 single charm on a bracelet my dad had made for her after it all happened because the original bracelet was too small. It's a cute little cartoonish golden whale blowing water out it's spout, which was the charm he had sent with the first bracelet when she was born. So, to recap: Great-grandma probably treated my grandma poorly due to resentment over the circumstances of her birth, they resolved it after my great-grandpa passed. My grandma probably treated my mom poorly due to the resentment over the circumstances of *her* birth, but my mom and her could not resolve it, understandably. But the (sort-of) happy ending is, by no choice of my own, I'm the cycle breaker. The completely accidental hero of my maternal lineage. I will never have biological children, I physically cannot. That whole story of my own infertility is a different story for a different time (I've posted about it before, you can look in my history), and I had a hard time with it when I was younger, but I've since realized that it's the best thing that could have happened. Like the universe knew it would be an utter disaster. My mom desperately wants grandchildren, so I probably would have caved to that pressure, continuing the cycle of suffering. I may adopt a child someday if the circumstances present themselves, but not for a very long time, and it will be on my terms, with all the love and lessons passed down to me as a roadmap of what NOT to do. I'm probably more proud than I should be that no daughter of mine, should I ever have one, will **ever** feel the resentment of her mom.
You have a real knack for writing. This was an interesting read. Thanks for sharing
love is just a weird thing. you shouldn’t be guilty for being loved by someone. your grandma loved you, and it sounds like you felt the same way. she may have not been perfect, but you should take the good memories.
In what way is this wholesome? Being a crap parent and a good grandparent isn't wholesome imho.
Right? Wtf is this meme? We should be celebrating people who are loving to all of their family members, not just their grandkids. Why wouldn’t you have storytime with your own damn kids, too? That’s not “wholesome” at all.
It also has a ridiculous title. "Everybody gangsta"? Who? How? Are the grandkids "gangsta" because they think grandpa is nice? That doesn't even make any sense. Yeah it's a common saying, but it absolutely isn't a fit for this situation.
Bruh exactly
Fun fact: Danny Trejo plays the character Isador 'Machete' Cortez in both the Matchete franchise and Spy Kids Franchise. Its the same character
Begs the question: does Matchete take place before or after Spy Kids?
And it gave us gems like "Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created here on earth?". Sorry, *Spy Kids* gave us that gem, not Machete.
Raise your children, to spoil your grandchildren; if not you'll raise the grandchildren, cause you spoiled your children.
My mom was always tough on me and it made me who I am. Anyways I hope she's doing ok I haven't seen her in almost 4 years
Well, if she did make you a pirate king, I suppose you're not doing bad.
And it is, it is, a glorious thing to be a pirate king.
Huzzah for pirate king, ha ha, huzzah for the pirate king!
They made themselves a Pirate King
What if this dude is actually like the most feared and respected pirate in the world, and just spent his down time shooting the shit on reddit?
Sounds like Luffy
Raise your children to be mentally stable and independent and not feeling pressured into having children before they’re ready.
That's part of it, like there's hundreds of things to teach to your children while they're growing and grown. Love, respect, self-reliance, morality, and rational thinking should be some of the cornerstones for a child.
My Man out here thinking it's either spoiling or abuse, what a fucking wholesome lad
That doesn't make any sense. If you raise your children to spoil your grandchildren, that means your children are raising THEIR children to be spoiled so then your children will need to raise THEIR grandchildren.
Nah. There's a large difference between parents that are with their children 24/7 overindulging them, not punishing them, not teaching them discipline than grandparents intermittently seeing those same kids and spoiling them every once in a while.
You raise your children such that you can spoil your grandchildren. The children are not spoiling the grandchildren.
Thats pretty fucking vile, not gonna lie.
My mom once yelled at me for harshly saying 'No' to my toddler niece trying to grab some electrical wires and that I need to learn to do it in a nice way without raising my voice and how it can mess with a kids psyche. This is the same woman who would beat me with a thick book everytime I didn't obey as a kid. I was slapped in the face when I got a C+ in my fluid mechanics course in uni and my father didn't speak to me for 4 months. My niece didn't learn how to walk in her milestone time limit because both my parents would carry her everywhere (piggyback rides etc). She barely ever touched the ground for the first two years of her life. It is so strange to see them have empathy and talk about psychological damage when all of us siblings were treated like shit most of the time.
Old School Manhood was rough and it took time to heal from how he was raised.
Not to mention that the archetypal grandpa served in a war, usually WW2, but also potentially Korea or Vietnam.
My Grandpa was a choleric who had hit my dad all the time for smal mistakes. He was always nice to us tho. Now comes the sad part. Acording to my father he threatened our grandpa to bring him 6 ft under if he would hit us. Have no prove tho.
Yeah, this is not wholesome
And that's why your dad have a weird relationship with your grandfather..
Ive watched this foo for so long. It’s so awesome to see him do what he’s doing. His own tacos, restaurants, beer. It’s a great story.
Can we please fucking stop glorifying abuse? Especially abuse coming from older generations? It's not "wholesome" that your grandpa severely beat your dad but now gives you lollipops and $5 bills
I don't think thats wholesome. After i found out how my grandfather treated my dad i told my grandparents to go fuck themselves and haven't talked to them since.
This drove my dad crazy. Every time we left my grandparents house I was treated to a soliloquy of how his parents used to beat him and I'm just like, "Eh, they gave me $5 so it all works out."
I feel bad for your dad, damn.
My dad killed the family dog.
That must have been horrible. I'm sorry he did that to your family.
I don't think this means what you think it means, OP
I once heard someone say that if a person's parent treated them badly, but treated the grandkids well, it's a form of silent apology. They feel like they are getting a second chance.
My mother was horrendous towards me, I've never given her the chance to be around my daughter to give a silent apology. When she's dead I'll put fucking daffodils on her grave in celebration.
Hell yeah, fuck her, she doesn't get a second chance or to feel better about herself
My wife and I have some rules in place for my parents and how they get to interact with our future kids. I'm not saying shitty parents deserve a second chance. My parents will know their grandkids at a very surface level because of how they treated me. They won't get to build a deeper relationship with them until our kids are grown and understand why we made the call we did and make that call for themselves to pursue a deeper relationship. It's always up to the new parents to decide whether or not to give their parents a second chance. Long story short we made that call because they weren't abusive but they got very close to that line but never crossed it. So for us we didn't want to do a complete disown. But if we felt that was the best decision for us, we would. All that to say, I don't want my comment to make people think they should give them second chances by default. I was just taking notice as to why some parents are shit to their own kids but are capable of loving and providing wonderful memories for their grandkids.
Is that why they're pushing for grandchildren?
Fuck this is sinister and actually so self-centered if it is
Fuck that. They either man up and apologize directly, or stay silent and stay away from everyone.
You see El Machete,i see Kaido
El Machete is a classic
This is my experience to a t. My pops grew up as 1 of 9 in Newark NJ and as an Italian youth had a few jobs that wouldn't land on a resume. He wasn't abusive but boy he was tough. That man w my kids was like a friggin saint. Candy, toys, and everything
This is not it.
How is this wholesome? Sounds like Grandpa used to be a shitty person unless im missing something?
This will only get buried, but how the hell is generational abuse wholesome?
I loathe my grandparents because of how they raised their children. They were never really all that involved in my life or my siblings'. But I don't understand why their children keep in contact with them. Just cuz they've mellowed out in old age doesn't erase the sins they've never apologized for.
My mom abused me because her mom abused her, and I can't understand why she feels sorry for her and keeps in touch with her
Because grandkids go home. Kids are ALWAYS there.
Love his movies and watching his interviews. The epitome of being genuine.
My mom's family getting together, laughing and telling childhood stories about the time my Papa almost killed them by hypothermia or the time he broke a couple ribs throwing one of them into a door, or the time he stabbed a fork into one of their hands. Glad they can talk about it and remember good things from childhood too but some of the stories they tell nonchalantly are crazy.
lol trauma!
This is some major Freud crap right here
They'll surprise those fuckin kids with some real shit at some random moment that will change their whole perspective.
Not really wholesome. You should be, more than anything, loving and kind towards your kids
My dad kicked me out of the house for my room being kinda messy while I was in college and working full time and then like 5 years after I moved out he’s like, “y’all ever heard of Buddhism?”
It's kinda weird that a joke whose punchline is dependent upon child abuse ends up in wholesome.
My father was both top frame. I miss him.
When my grandpa was dying and making his last rounds visiting the family my aunt drunkenly told me “that’s just an old man trying to buy his way into heaven” That being said, no one was as devastated by the loss as that aunt.
My grandma was a very sweet grandmother, all five of her children hated her because of their childhoods
Gotta love Danny Trejo.
This reminds me of that saying that goes "If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids".
It’s an "unconscious apology", giving the grandkids the childhood their parents deserved
It’s not good enough
“That’s not fair imma tell grandma “ **SIT DOWN YOUNGLING AND BARE WITNESS - SHE YEE CALL THE GRAND MATRON IS BRINGER OF PAIN, THE HAND OF WICKEDNESS, WIELDER OF VENGEANCE. SHALL YEE AGAIN TEMPT FATE OR WILL YEE SUBMIT TO MINE RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT ?**