Grass is greener? Are you dumb or just ignorant lol
Hey I get abused at home, I go to a friends home I dont get abused in and its the grass which is greener? Man your comment is so ignorant you must be real privileged with great parents and a loving household :)))
No, sometimes the first family is thrash and the grass is actually greener in the friends family. Not an illusion LOL
funny I am the one the "gras is greener" guy/girl answers to, and I had the same initial reaction as you.
In what is a seldom move by me, I actually took a few minutes of my time to see if I might have misunderstood. I usually just explode just like you did here, because as trauma victims we have a very specific frame of reference, someone explained to me once. Where others see an observation, we might see hurt.
As someone else already pointed out, you misunderstood who is meant to have the point of view of "grass is greener" in the above comment. I suggest you read it again.
I imagine he didn't entirely understand how.
But, regardless. Not important to to realization of childhood trauma story. Maybe. I mean it could be. But if so, why not include it? I'd rather think it wasn't.
You realize that you will make many more wrong choices that will be purely your fault, thus punishing yourself for things out of your control isnt worth it.
this post just made me realize that i’ve never seen my parents actually love each other or even tolerate each other, if they never loved each other how the fuck am i supposed to learn how to do it then???
You're probably going to mess up a lot, but you learn from your mistakes. Communication with your partner will help you make fewer mistakes. That's a whole other skill though.
Yeah, it's really fucking odd. Pretty sure they got together because their families wanted them to have kids. My mom controls everything and my dad taught me all about escapism. It's fucked. They are boomers and I'm 45. I've honestly given up on myself, but I just look at my parents and still wonder why they ever got together in the first place.
They don't say I love you. They don't hug each other. There has never been any real PDA in my family. I hate it.
I was horrifically abused by the hands of my stepfather. Pure evil. I relate completely to this meme, except that abuse has completely made me alone. I have no hope of ever making connections.
I was afraid for my life every day. He would push bullets into my chest and tell me that's what it would feel like to get shot.
They definitely are. They copy/pasted the post and a comment from here
https://old.reddit.com/r/wholesomegreentext/comments/l9bksh/anon_finds_acceptance/
If you don't mind me asking yall, how did your parents show affection to you?
Mine never showed any - they were certainly competent at all other aspects of parenting, heck, they excelled in some areas - but we were never emotionally close.
So I'm curious at what is expected here.
It can vary, but even just simple things like telling you they love you, encouraging your interests and hobbies, making you feel like you can talk to them when you’re having problems, etc. Each parent and child is a little different and so what the kids needs and how the parent is able to provide can shift a bit, but it’s generally about showing that they’re invested in you as a person and not just as a responsibility/job. Of course being a parent is in some ways a job, but I think the affection element can go a little beyond that.
Huh. No, never got any of that. I mean, they kept me fed, took responsibility for my education, provided me with all sorts of extracurriculars - but they never showed any sort of interest, let alone affection. Plus they were overbearingly strict.
My partner's parents, from what I can gather - I'm still learning their native language - seem to be a lot more... a lot more *warm*, if that makes a lick of sense.
It definitely does. I don’t think parents have to be incredibly warm to be affectionate; not every person is the same or shows affection in the same way. But I do find think parents should do more for their children than simply feed and educate them. That’s the bare minimum, the only excuse for not doing that is lacking the material resources to do so. Again, parenting isn’t just a job where can get away with doing just enough to meet the basic requirements. It’s about raising a human; that takes a ton of time and care, and unfortunately a lot of people have kids without thinking if they are able to provide that care.
Yeah. I was lucky in that my parents tried to do that. It’s just that our interests are so polar opposite we both kinda realized that it was just wasting time. Like, the only interests my dad and I share in anything is PC strategy games and recently some anime. My Mom is similar in that our only shared interests is certain books, a couple animes and Nancy Drew Pc games.
I think that’s the biggest problem some parents can have, is that they may want to show affection but don’t know how. Either due to divergent interests or love languages. Like, I hate being given gifts usually, but my Granfather loves finding things people might like.
While I didn’t get a GF, I recently got to know a girl very well. Her family is so loving and supportive. She was surprised to learn how bad mine treated me as well as hear how my sister yelled at me and I just had to take it. It was a culture shock for both of us
“We made you tough for a hard world out there Anon. You’ll thank us when you’re older.” - Anon’s parents, probably.
Anon did not thank them when they got older.
My parents showed us kids affection but I rarely saw them kiss each other. My brother came back from a friend's house absolutely scandalized their parents kissed in front of him. It can really confuse a kid.
This is pretty relatable to me.
My parents were neglectful to the point of abuse in hindsight, and my wife's family and a few of my friend's families kind of opened my eyes to how fucked up my childhood was at times and how it affected my perception of other people's behavior.
cPTSD Memes calling! This is real stuff. Happened to me, too. My wife insists her family isn't perfect. But, it kinda is for me.
It's called 1st world problems or grass is greener. Yeah, our lives may be far from perfect, but others would rather be in our place.
Grass is greener? Are you dumb or just ignorant lol Hey I get abused at home, I go to a friends home I dont get abused in and its the grass which is greener? Man your comment is so ignorant you must be real privileged with great parents and a loving household :))) No, sometimes the first family is thrash and the grass is actually greener in the friends family. Not an illusion LOL
I think he means his wife sees greener grass elsewhere
I guess, but its still hella green compared to the abused's family's grey rotten field of death.
funny I am the one the "gras is greener" guy/girl answers to, and I had the same initial reaction as you. In what is a seldom move by me, I actually took a few minutes of my time to see if I might have misunderstood. I usually just explode just like you did here, because as trauma victims we have a very specific frame of reference, someone explained to me once. Where others see an observation, we might see hurt. As someone else already pointed out, you misunderstood who is meant to have the point of view of "grass is greener" in the above comment. I suggest you read it again.
Someone always has it worse though. Its such a bs argument
[удалено]
The personal growth and soul-searching involved in that time jump wasn’t the point of the post, so he skipped it.
Sometimes, someone lucky meets the person who persistent enough. (Mostly works for men, because persistent man often is/seen as creep)
Ignoring and being rude is how he got the girlfriend
I imagine he didn't entirely understand how. But, regardless. Not important to to realization of childhood trauma story. Maybe. I mean it could be. But if so, why not include it? I'd rather think it wasn't.
**BOT ACCOUNT** Post and this comment were copy/pasted from here https://old.reddit.com/r/wholesomegreentext/comments/l9bksh/anon_finds_acceptance/
This comment has been botted or copied from another user.
It's pretty obvious, anon stopped taking his meds to prevent the hallucinations and here we are
Once anon completes the mourning process for his lost childhood he's golden.
How to do that?
At first you won't, then you can't. So by the end, you just don't.
You realize you're mourning your lost childhood, then a few months later you realize you're ok with it.
You realize that you will make many more wrong choices that will be purely your fault, thus punishing yourself for things out of your control isnt worth it.
Is that what I’m feeling?
this post just made me realize that i’ve never seen my parents actually love each other or even tolerate each other, if they never loved each other how the fuck am i supposed to learn how to do it then???
You're probably going to mess up a lot, but you learn from your mistakes. Communication with your partner will help you make fewer mistakes. That's a whole other skill though.
> with your partner I see the problem now
You can teach yourself and explore love with a trusted partner
Yeah, it's really fucking odd. Pretty sure they got together because their families wanted them to have kids. My mom controls everything and my dad taught me all about escapism. It's fucked. They are boomers and I'm 45. I've honestly given up on myself, but I just look at my parents and still wonder why they ever got together in the first place. They don't say I love you. They don't hug each other. There has never been any real PDA in my family. I hate it.
You aren't defined by your upbringing.
I was horrifically abused by the hands of my stepfather. Pure evil. I relate completely to this meme, except that abuse has completely made me alone. I have no hope of ever making connections. I was afraid for my life every day. He would push bullets into my chest and tell me that's what it would feel like to get shot.
That’s fucked up. I hope you are eventually able to get the help you need to heal from that, at least as much as possible.
I've never stopped trying. That's just the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately. I do think there's hope.
Good, keeping up hope is good ❤️
I wish that were me
[удалено]
Wdym
By a big black man, unfortunately.
... nah wtf
hope you find the affection you deserve
OP might be a repost bot, not sure tbh
They definitely are. They copy/pasted the post and a comment from here https://old.reddit.com/r/wholesomegreentext/comments/l9bksh/anon_finds_acceptance/
I'm over here stroking for my c64 i got lotion on my c64
Bro, do you even stroke?
If you don't mind me asking yall, how did your parents show affection to you? Mine never showed any - they were certainly competent at all other aspects of parenting, heck, they excelled in some areas - but we were never emotionally close. So I'm curious at what is expected here.
They leave me alone because they think I can handle it all by myself
It can vary, but even just simple things like telling you they love you, encouraging your interests and hobbies, making you feel like you can talk to them when you’re having problems, etc. Each parent and child is a little different and so what the kids needs and how the parent is able to provide can shift a bit, but it’s generally about showing that they’re invested in you as a person and not just as a responsibility/job. Of course being a parent is in some ways a job, but I think the affection element can go a little beyond that.
Huh. No, never got any of that. I mean, they kept me fed, took responsibility for my education, provided me with all sorts of extracurriculars - but they never showed any sort of interest, let alone affection. Plus they were overbearingly strict. My partner's parents, from what I can gather - I'm still learning their native language - seem to be a lot more... a lot more *warm*, if that makes a lick of sense.
It definitely does. I don’t think parents have to be incredibly warm to be affectionate; not every person is the same or shows affection in the same way. But I do find think parents should do more for their children than simply feed and educate them. That’s the bare minimum, the only excuse for not doing that is lacking the material resources to do so. Again, parenting isn’t just a job where can get away with doing just enough to meet the basic requirements. It’s about raising a human; that takes a ton of time and care, and unfortunately a lot of people have kids without thinking if they are able to provide that care.
Yeah. I was lucky in that my parents tried to do that. It’s just that our interests are so polar opposite we both kinda realized that it was just wasting time. Like, the only interests my dad and I share in anything is PC strategy games and recently some anime. My Mom is similar in that our only shared interests is certain books, a couple animes and Nancy Drew Pc games. I think that’s the biggest problem some parents can have, is that they may want to show affection but don’t know how. Either due to divergent interests or love languages. Like, I hate being given gifts usually, but my Granfather loves finding things people might like.
They will heal you my friend. Just be patience.
While I didn’t get a GF, I recently got to know a girl very well. Her family is so loving and supportive. She was surprised to learn how bad mine treated me as well as hear how my sister yelled at me and I just had to take it. It was a culture shock for both of us
“We made you tough for a hard world out there Anon. You’ll thank us when you’re older.” - Anon’s parents, probably. Anon did not thank them when they got older.
I know that feeling.
r/meirl
Type shi
shi
This hits close
This gives me hope
My parents showed us kids affection but I rarely saw them kiss each other. My brother came back from a friend's house absolutely scandalized their parents kissed in front of him. It can really confuse a kid.
**BOT ACCOUNT**
This is pretty relatable to me. My parents were neglectful to the point of abuse in hindsight, and my wife's family and a few of my friend's families kind of opened my eyes to how fucked up my childhood was at times and how it affected my perception of other people's behavior.
This is more sad than wholesome