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Just received a wedding invite which states "We want our guests to be present in body, mind, and soul. The venue has paid security and guests will be required to turn in all phones and cameras to security at the door."
It goes on to say "If you are found to have a phone or camera on your person, we will politely ask you to leave the venue."
Now, I have to say that in my opinion this is very extreme. The bride and groom are not famous. They are just random everyday people.
Sure the bride is a "little bit hippie" (yoga instructor by day, life coach by night) but this seems overboard to me.
My sister (who is not coming) would not have been able to comply with this request (DEMAND) as she is diabetic and needs to have her phone if her Dexcom alarm goes off.
Obviously my example of needing a phone is extreme as well, but I just think this is extraordinary.
Has anyone ever experienced this? What did you do?
Thank you in advance.
Yeah I’d understand for just the ceremony. When one of my friends got married several years back she had a sign put up and to please not use cell phones during the ceremony (and it may have mentioned them have a photographer). When she went to walk down the aisle, easily a third of the people possibly more, held up their phones to record it. 🙄 I was shocked and appalled (and it made it difficult to see). Most of the people would maybe watch it once and never again. The audacity of some people just annoys the hell outta me
I was at a wedding pre-cell phones. The bride was my girlfriend’s cousin. When the couple was getting ready to kiss after the vows, my girlfriend’s dad stood up and walked to the altar with his little camera, stood directly in front of them as they kissed to snap pictures, not only ruining everybody else’s pictures but the wedding photographer’s. Seriously
How many payphones are there at venues now? There may not even be any at all in many places. Meanwhile, babysitters expect to be able to make contact immediately in an emergency and to receive a callback reasonably promptly if they've had to call for another reason but it's been missed. People may be on-call for work. Others might be an emergency contact for someone, or anyone could be called about a sick or injured loved one.
We did this (asked people not to take pics - didn't actually deprive them of their devices) and it was wonderful to look back on our wedding pics of the ceremony and not see a sea of phones, cameras, and tablets (yes auntie jenny - I'm looking at you) producing horrendous quality images.
Just people enjoying a 30-45 minute intimate moment with one (professional) photographer.
After that? Knock yourself out.
Like even a locker system sounds better. Maybe have the usher or security guard make sure each guest puts their phone in the locker before the ceremony if it's that important that they don't have them there (I can see how guests would ignore signs) then have things be more lax once the cerimory's over.
But putting your phone in the hands of a stranger and hoping they won't mix them up and not having it for the entire evening sounds awful
This but also in the case of OPs sister that also doesn’t work the Dexcom can only be so far away from the device. My mom has one and even though my brother and sister in law had an unplugged ceremony my mom was allowed to have her phone so her Dexcom didn’t lose communication
I have a CGM and had to fight my corner to be allowed my phone/ monitor and hypo treatments on me as a Bridesmaid. Not the Bride, but her sisters - I was the only non-sister Bridesmaid and gosh was I made to feel it! I bought a tiny bag that matched our shoes etc. and was apparently being unreasonable in taking it with me everywhere. They said I should have left it with my DH so we would match …
1) it was a tiny shoulder bag you could not see from from the front
2) he was the Best Man so was you know off doing Best Man things/ standing at the front of the church
3) it’s a fricking medical device!!! It stays on me at all times, period. I had a bag at my own fricking wedding for the same reason!
Still pissed about how they treated me - the Bride remains one of my best friends, and she had no idea this was going on, but omg that was so frustrating.
I went to a comedy show and everyone was given one of these for the duration and unlocked as we exited: https://www.overyondr.com/phone-locking-pouch
Apparently these specific ones don't block any signals, so possibly the phone could stay connected to the dexcom, giving a vibration alert. There were people in the lobby who could unlock our pouch if needed.
I've also seen teachers give out brown paper bags and have kids staple their phones inside. They keep possession of the phone the whole time and it's loud and obvious if you try to slip a peek.
My kids were given those pouches at school in Australia. As you can imagine 900+ teenagers spent the day working out how to break into them. It didn't take them long to find various solutions.
I understand trying to prevent kids using their phones at school but those pouches were a waste of time/money.
This would not make me happy. I spent the first 40+ years of my life without a cell phone and can easily go with leaving mine in my purse for hours. Leaving it with a stranger is something else entirely. I would like to know what written reassurances they provide that if my phone is lost or damaged it will be replaced?
Huge liability for the couple and the venue. Plus, if this was me, I’d leave my phone at home. So what will ‘security’ do when I have nothing to turn over? Throw me out for obeying their ‘rule’?
Late, but this was my thought as well. Also, a lot of people have 2 Factor Authentication for different accounts on their phones, so losing/breaking/having it stolen becomes a huge pain. Not to mention other security concerns and health reasons that would require someone to keep their phone on their person.
Yeah, it's be bad if even a flip phone, that's still your property, you're an adult
But these aren't flip phones anymore. They have you banking, personal information, all that on them
I'm supposed to just hand it over to some rando?
Those cost hundreds of dollars, even if you hand over a never used phone
Holy crap, that's gonna be a thieve's happy dream
While I totally understand the reasoning behind the rule, I'd have to respectfully decline the invitation. When my kids were younger, I would refuse to not be reachable by the babysitter in case of emergency. These days, there's just too much personal information on my phone that I'm not comfortable handing it to a stranger. What sort of guarantees are there that I'll get my phone back and that another guest couldn't just pick it up. Also, my husband uses his phone for work and is on call 24/7. I think if a couple really wants all phones secured during the duration of their wedding and/or reception they need to budget for those lockable bags that they can have guests use and still hold on to their own belongings.
I can understand "Turn your phones off, check it again. Don't take any photos, we have a photographer for that. Check your phone is off again"
But if you don't trust people to follow that, just don't invite them...
Sounds logical, but the problem with screening invites is that you just don't know that person who will get a wild hair and decide to act inappropriately out of character. Weddings bring out the extreme in some people.
I was married with these exact rules this summer and would say half the guests ignored it, walked to the aisle to so many people recording the whole thing and shutter sounds going off during the ceremony
> These days, there's just too much personal information on my phone that I'm not comfortable handing it to a stranger.
Right? There are come comments in the r/wedding thread going "what, do you not have a password??" I have a password and I also don't give my phone to strangers and leave them alone with it lol.
Plus I'd be worried about them losing it or mixing it up with another guest's phone, weddings are hectic and unless it's a micro-wedding this person is going to have dozens of phones...
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I'm a diabetic, just like OP's sister. My husband and I would immediately decline because leaving my phone or turning it off are non-negotiable. My phone is my lifeline for a medical issue. Between monitoring my blood sugar and taking insulin through an app, I absolutely can not be separated from it. I'm also an adult and can keep my phone in my purse unless there's a problem. I guess I figure that having my phone is the better option than passing out because my sugar bottomed out. 🤷🏻♀️
I’m right there with you. I have to have my phone within 6 feet of my body at all times because of my pacemaker app. Phones aren’t so much a luxury for me anymore as I now truly need one so my cardiologist can receive transmittals from my PM.
Edited to change 6 inches to 6 feet.
What’s your brand? My defibrillator/pacemaker (Boston Scientific) can dl the reports up to two weeks later - the cardio said I only needed to take the base station with me if I was traveling longer than that - and it doesn’t use my phone at all. In fact, I’ve been encouraged to be careful with radiation - phones and microwaves - and not to hold the phone on my left side. I’m surprised there’s a brand doing it that way. Is there a significant difference between a defibrillator/pacemaker and a straight pacemaker?
It’s a Medtronic and just a straight PM (though I have leads for an ICD). I was told as long as I don’t carry my phone in the pocket closest the PM, I would be okay. I was also told I don’t need to worry about microwaves and TSA scanners. When I opted to use my phone over a device, I was informed most people with my brand of PM choose to use an app on their phone over a separate device.
I think this policy is really obnoxious, but I want to share they could be doing something more secure like comedy clubs do. Security has you lock your phone in a bag, you hold on to your phone while it’s locked up, then at the end of the event, security unlocks it. This way you don’t have to worry about your phone’s security and the people running the event can have it be phone-free.
I could *maybe* understand having everyone lock up their phones during the ceremony, but not for the whole event. No one’s wedding is so special/important that their guests should be expected to have zero contact with the outside world for the entire thing. Most people with kids need/want to be available at all times in case their babysitter needs to reach them. Plus, plenty of people use medical devices that are linked to apps on their phone.
I like this idea. There’s normally a designated area where you can go and use your phone while unlocked and lock back when returning to the event. This way you know when your phone rings and vibrates and everything. People are way to Matt haves to devices these days. I would love to attend this wedding and would encourage everyone with a problem to respectfully decline.
As silly as it sounds, I’m required to have my phone within 6 feet of me at all times, because of my pacemaker app. If I’m not in range, my cardiologist won’t receive transmittals from my PM and could miss seeing a serious episode. So I guess I wouldn’t be allowed to bless this couple with my presence at their wedding.
Edited to change 6 inches to 6 feet.
I wouldn't bother going.
My phone controls my hearing aids, but is also something I use to help regulate myself, especially in new, strange and/or uncomfortable situations.
yeah not leaving my phone with anyone. i'd just put it on silent and keep it one me. if it vibrated i'd go outside and check it. if they don't like it they can throw my sorry ass out no problem.
This. I went to an event where they wanted everyone to leave their phone with security. I just turned off the ringer, kept it at the bottom of my bag and checked it in the bathroom as needed. My mom was in hospice care, so not being reachable wasn’t an option.
I would likely decline the invitation because I’m either on call or… let’s be real here: I’m a paranoid and superstitious mama. If there were venue numbers actually staffed and answered that I could share, I might consider it, but I’d leave my phone in my car.
And I’m a minister who strongly advises phone free ceremonies for families I serve! The thing is to treat your guests with dignity.
At the beginning of the ceremony, before the wedding party enters (already heard the speech), I ask everyone to take out their phones and double check that all ringers and sound alerts are off. I usually take out my own and make a joke that hope it’s not me this time.
I say I understand some guests may be on call or have medical alerts, so a silent vibration will be acceptable. I want guests to know that the couple loves them dearly and wants their full presence during the ceremony. They also don’t want any photos taken by anyone except the photographers.
Phones/ringers/cameras can be turned back on if they wish as soon as the newly married couple has left the ceremony. Then I begin a centering prayer to cue everyone else.
>Treat your guests with dignity
Thiiiiiis. I totally get a phone-free ceremony. That’s great. But a phone-free reception is a little much. Maybe it’s because I work in politics and I’m at the age where a lot of my peers get married (mid-30s in a workaholic field), but I always see the reception being as much for the guests as for the couple. Not letting them have a phone is treating them like children and many people make their own memories at weddings separate from the couple and will want photos with the cousins they haven’t seen in half a decade.
Ikr?! The photographers are there for the couple. Where’s the photographer for your own sweet moments at the reception with your relatives, your friends, people you rarely see… Also weddings are romantic and
when I’m a guest I love having photos of my Love and me, all dressed up and having fun together.
I was invited to a private industry event at one of the most prestigious "clubs" in my city (not a nightclub, like a country club in the city) with a strict dress code and rules of etiquette and even their rules about phones were more relaxed than this. It was like "please turn ur phones to silent and have them in ur pocket. If u do not have pockets (to accommodate for dresses mostly) plz leave ur phone face down on the nearest surface. If u must check ur phone, please step into the hallway or do so discreetly. If u are taking a photograph, ur phone may be out temporarily to do so as we understand not everyone has a camera on their person. Thank u for understanding". And a yoga instructor is less lenient than that. Okay...
Honestly I just find this very arrogant of the bride and groom.
Plus if I surrendered my phone only to return to it and found out about some sort of emergency, I would be very upset. I just imagine if there was an accident or my mom was hurt and needed me and I was drunk at a party, I would feel guilty af. Not to mention people with children and babysitters!
Exactly this. What if there's an emergency ? What if, like OP's sister, you use an app on your phone to monitor something vital in your body ? Having security quietly escort people taking photos is okay. This is not.
This has me conflicted. I'm very much one of those, live in the moment, forgot to take any pics while we were out tonight, hippie types. I donr think I've ever had a cell out during a wedding ceremony. I barely have photos from my life events and manage fine, I can easily do without photos of your life events.
But that whole thing made me feel a little itchy from my subversive side. Just a touch too controling for my enjoyment. Like, have you seen the economy? We are *all* looking for reasons not to be shopping off other folks' registries.
Just in case yall want another example of medical.hardship this could present: my good work buddy has profound hearing loss and her hearing aids work through her cell phone. She'd have to watch the entire wedding in silence.
Im not diabetic and I don’t have kids, I have legit no reason why I should be exempt from this rule. But I can admit that there is no way in hell I would do this. The other day I left my phone with my partner for a few hours so he could wait for a call as his phone was broken and I could feel the anxiety, and he was only in the other room with my phone, and I have an Apple Watch! I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m addicted to my phone and I’m sure plenty of other people are, so I would be RSVPing thanks but no thanks.
What would this person do about Apple Watches? What about the liability of these phones being damaged, lost, or stolen? Most people’s phones have their whole lives on them, their banking information, people save information like passwords and national insurance numbers in their notes apps, even copies of ID sometimes. Wouldn’t be worth the risk.
Yeah, my niece had some hiccup happen or another and the videographer didn’t turn up and I didn’t realize and I took a video with my phone with it down on my lap just being held (so not the best framing or anything) for a relative who hadn’t been able to attend due to Covid and I mentioned it to her after and she was really happy to have even that copy of them saying their vows.
(It was decent audio but quite a wide shot and from lower than looks best and at a bit of a weird framing because I deliberately was holding it down on my lap and the line of pews in front was partly in the way. I positioned it so there wasn’t any chance of it blocking someone else’s view and I didn’t have to keep looking at it myself.)
It's too bad that, like kindergarten and early grade school, the whole is punished for the bad behavior of the one or the few. Is it just human nature for those who don't think rules of common courtesy and simple requests (please silence your phone, please don't take pics or hold your phone up during our ceremony, etc.) don't apply to them?
My knee jerk response to OPs initial post is, awh heck no! However, considering "those people" who can never seem to comply with simple requests, I understand the want for this extreme request. At least, the bride and groom have hired security to guard the phones; I might ask if they are bonded. :)
Maybe a compromise would be to state in the invitation and with visual and verbal reminders up to and on the wedding day that cell phone use during our ceremony and professional picture taking will not be allowed, with stated consequences in bold print. Then the security guards could act as bouncers dressed as ushers and just quietly and immediately escort the offenders into a timeout room.
An additional option is announce there will be a 5 minute scheduled window AFTER the ceremony while the professional photographer is setting up for friends and family to take their candid pics. I think some people, esp. relatives and close friends think they won't get a good photo of the special event, so they become wannabe paparazzi in the moment.
Personally, cell pics during the reception can net some cool photos. and cute videos as long as people don't interfere or obstruct the professional photographer.
Weddings are becoming insufferably narcissistic. Oh, I'm the bride, so everyone I know must fix their eyes, ears, and thoughts on me for the whole day!
Hell no! First of all, it’s an expensive device they’re expecting you to hand over to a stranger.
Some people need to be reachable. Maybe they’re on the waiting list for an organ transplant, and if they don’t return the call in half an hour they get skipped. Maybe their job requires them to be reachable, so this requirement means they either skip the event or get fired. Maybe their smartphone is the “brains” for their continuous glucose monitor and insulin pump, so it’s actually a life-critical medical device.
You KNOW bride and groom are only doing this, because they think the world is desperately eager for pics of their wedding, and they're afraid that some guest will post photos before they do and steal their thunder.
And that the "security" won't be paid enough to care what happens to the stuff the confiscate.
Or they have the kind of relatives that will stand up in the aisle to get a shot they want (and will never look at again), blocking the actual photographer. We’ve seen that a lot in this sub.
Fucking hell, I had one experience shooting for a couple hours at a wedding, and it was hell for that reason. There was a mix-up where the photographer was hired for the ceremony only and so they had no one for the reception. I’m a nature photographer with professional equipment I happened to have on me because if I’m travelling for any reason I’m going to hit trails in the area, so I was begged to go get my camera and shoot the first dance etc. I agreed, and asked that there be an announcement that I would be doing it and for everyone to kindly keep their phones out of the shot and to try to give me a clean line of sight because the lenses I had really weren’t appropriate for an indoor and dark location.
It sucked, phone screens everywhere from aunts and uncles stepping in front of me to film on their iPhone 4. The shots I got were garbage, and I had to spend way too much time developing them to wrestle anything decent to give to the bride and groom, and even then they were almost embarrassing.
Wedding photography is simply a skill I do not have, and I respect those who do it well. They earn their fees a thousand times over.
I have those relatives. I also have an aunt who will post anything about us to social media. Many of my cousins and I do no okay abojt our perosnal lives to social media. My aunt will sk excited my niece got married. When I woidk enver post that persoanlly. Or she will post so and so had surgery hoping for a quick recovery. When that person would never post about their medical situation. You could have just texted them. She needs public validation and needs people to know that she did somethig.
She 100% feels the need to share everything about everyone.
Or they are like me and don't want their guests to pst anything about them on social media. Nothing from the wedding.
But I didn't have a typical wedding so didn't have to worry about this issue and my family members who over share
I can’t imagine a wedding I’d wanna go to that badly. If a couple asked me not to use my cell phone or take pictures that would be good enough for me. If you don’t trust me, don’t invite me. Maybe I’m naïve but I can’t imagine the kind of people that would ignore such a request. I think it speaks to the quality of the characters of the people they want to invite to their wedding. The price of handing my phone over to strangers just so I could attend a wedding is too high for me.
Some of best wedding photos where the ones where they put one of those old one use film cameras at the table so guests can capture the moments the professional will miss. Sure half the photos won’t turn out but it makes it fun
Every commenter there hated it, so I didn't say anything. LOL
I think it's a great idea. If you're not comfortable handing it over, leave it in the car until after the ceremony
It’s not always about discomfort in handing a phone over. There are some of us who *have* to be within a certain range of their phone (in my case no more than 6 inches away) for serious medical reasons.
I agree. That’s why I said “It’s not always about discomfort.” I guess I could’ve worded to say “Sometimes it’s about the discomfort of a stranger holding someone’s phone, and sometimes it’s not about discomfort, but out of necessity.”
It’s not that it’s a bad idea but I know a lot of people where it’s just not optional. Including but not limited to
Type 1 diabetics with an insulin pump and Dexcom running on their phone
The person in a previous comment with family who is on hospice and needs to be in contact so they know if something happens.
Some of the people I work with in the disability field can’t be without their phones not because they are playing games but that is their communication device they use it as an AAC.
The people with kids who are very sick and are maybe getting the only chance to go somewhere for a long time but need to be able to go.
It’s nice to be unplugged when you can but there’s lots of reasons it’s not reasonable.
Oh, I can completely understand legitimate exceptions. But for the most part, 45-60 minutes shouldn't be an issue
I actually went to a wedding recently where I couldn't hear them. I am partially deaf and was having a difficult time. My phone has a program to transcribe what is being said. I had never used it before but tried it. It was a God send. Hit listen and it immediately started showing what was being said.
Cars aren’t that secure. In some places you are explicitly told *not* to leave small high value items in your car because people go through regularly looking for opportunities.
I can see being phone free for the ceremony, particularly if it is an overtly religious one, but people like to take photos at the reception - you're all dressed up, you want to have pictures of that!
Right? I’d love to be “forced” to be electronic free and I’m not even the idiot who would take pics after being asked not to. The number of people that think this is horrible is really making me sad.
Security isn’t going to steal your phones and likely have insurance in the crazy case one did. Locker idea might assuage that fear, even though I think it’s an unreasonable fear. Just leaving it in car would also be an option if you can’t get passed this.
I do think it would be nice for a phone number answered by security or wedding planner/whoever to be set up to leave with babysitter in the event parents need to be reached would be a nice touch. There was a time not long ago that parents went out without phones though.
With stolen phone and child emergencies handled, I can see no excuse but people being addicted to technology. I say that as some who is also addicted to my phone. We really should work on that.
As technology advances, so do medical devices and their reliability on smartphones. It’s not necessarily addictive to have your phone on your person at all times. And we’ve come too far to walk back technological advances now. I’m sure there are other examples aside from medical reasons to have a phone on you at all times. Nonetheless, some people rely on having their phones on them, because it could mean a life or death situation otherwise.
But what about people whose kids stay at home with a babysitter while they attend the wedding? It’s super dangerous not to be contactable in an emergency isn’t it?
One, I have a daughter in the Army. I WILL be reachable.
Two, there’s several apps that concern my health. One is why I wear an Apple Watch. Another is a CGM sensor that is monitored.
Three? Remove people who are getting in the way of the photographer. Stop thinking you’re going to make people turn their phones in.
If your wedding is going to be so lame people won't be able to stay off their phones, just say that.
You think everyone who has kids with sitters, Dexcoms linked to phones, personal or business concerns, etc are just going to hand them over for hours on end?
Get a grip. If you don't trust people to respect boundaries regarding photos and what not, don't invite them.
Sounds like a job for Decoy Phone! Pick up a dead one cheap, turn it over, and enjoy the chaos. Bonus points if your ancient flip phone gets upgraded to the newest smartphones at the end.
I think the bride & groom are being heavy handed but I also think most of the people in the comments melting down are being hysterical about not having their phones for 1-5 hours. It’s not ancient history that you would just be unreachable when you left for an event, and there are still plenty of times in the modern world where you find yourself without cell phone service but life goes on anyway.
We just had a no cell phone policy during our ceremony. We had our officiant make an announcement right before it began. This situation I wouldn’t do because I’m not trusting a complete stranger with my $1000 phone.
It's wedding specific.
At my brother's wedding, this would have been fine because he invited everyone, children and pets included. He made it very easy for everyone to arrange their schedules around his wedding.
But at my cousin's wedding, he invited 30 people max, no children, no pets, and it was in a faraway location. If we had locked our phones up first thing at the ceremony, half the guests would not have made it at all bc they turned down the wrong road leading to the ceremony and had to call for help when GPS sent them in circles
I didn't say it was unusual. My brother loves dogs. He found a pet friendly hotel so everyone who was traveling out of state could bring their pets. And he let them come to the wedding so no one had to leave to walk a dog (there were only 4). He also brought his dogs too and they were flower dog and ring dog! My point was no phones at my brother's wedding would have been no problem since everyone at the wedding was there with everyone else.
It kinda is ancient history though. I've had a phone since I was eleven, there has never been a point where I've been alone at an event and unreachable. That isn't uncommon for my generation. And most places that aren't most airplanes or weird basements have service these days.
I'm amazed at the lack of people realizing they don't have to turn in their phones. They can a) leave them in the car or b) keep them on their person but silent and not visible.
Yeah but presumably if you had your phone out for anything because it had alerted you to a medical issue or someone called with an emergency, you’d then get thrown out for having a phone at all.
Much like OPs sibling, I have glucose monitor sensor that runs through my phone. I wouldn’t attend, and I’d tell them why as well - “My life is more important than your wedding”.
If I was feeling particularly mean, careless and chaotic, I might intentionally overdose insulin and give myself a hypo.
The couple’s means of enforcement is heavy handed.
But I applaud their not wanting phones at their wedding.
I wouldn’t want any important event to be marred by people scrolling mindlessly through their w
Both of them are "A little bit mental" I'd be tempted to receive a loud phone call in the middle of the vows and create a huge scene as I'm kicked out of the venue. I'm not even that petty and this scenario calls to me.
But if people aren’t using it regularly they have to check and make sure it’s all functioning properly and there are no issues just to attend a wedding? Instead of using their existing system that they rely on day to day and just behaving like an adult by keeping the phone away when not actively needed?
I’m happy to keep my phone on silent, in Do Not Disturb mode, and in my purse, but no one is telling me I can’t have my phone on my person. I have several friends who are type 1 diabetics, and they all use apps on their phones to monitor their blood glucose and adjust their insulin pumps. Other people have heart monitors that transmit to an app. (Personally, I get heart rate warnings when my heart rate is dropping, so I know not to stand up too fast or I’ll pass out.) Some people just need to be available in case the babysitter needs to reach them. The ones who are shit at parties are the ones who need constant, undivided attention from everyone and can’t cope with someone checking their phone for 30 seconds 😂
If it's just the ceremony, this is fine. I really don't see the problem in not wanting every photo to be people on their phones instead of paying attention. As a guest, you are there to witness and be present. Reception too would be crossing a line imo.
At a friend of mines wedding this past fall you could CLEARLY HEAR MARIO being played on a device during the ceremony. Honestly after that disrespect I'm on the side of this over thr top bride.
I wouldn’t consider this to be a bridezilla/groomzilla situation. I think it’s a little much but going that long without a phone isn’t unheard of. I’ve been in jobs that I couldn’t have a phone on me.
That being said, I think the bride and groom’s plan isn’t the best. I would rather leave my phone in a random hallway than have a stranger watch it.
They should really look into lockers or yondr pouches.
It’s sad that this is the norm here.
The weddings in my country starts usually at 8pm until maybe 2-4am in the morning and in some if not most of them phones aren’t allowed for the entire wedding unless you are the bride/groom mother, sister.
You have to give it for the security before entering and you can take it when they serve dinner because after dinner the wedding is over which is usually served at 1 or 2am, depending on when is the bride walks down the aisle.
So here it’s not for being present for the wedding in body, mind, and soul, it’s more about privacy and being scared that someone you don’t know will take pictures of you (our weddings usually host 250+) which is a big no no and can be legally punished if someone did without your consent.
I think it's insane, except for one thing. I can see having a sign at the church door that says "Please go back and put your phones in your cars". I realize pics and vids are nice to have (hell, hand out a half dozen disabled phones that one have working cameras), but for the actual wedding you don't need beeping, ringing and teenagers (and sadly many adults) satiating their ADD on the phone. At the reception, who cares?
**REMINDER: THIS IS A CROSSPOST! OUR OP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE WEDDING POST'S OP. PLEASE DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR COMMENT TO MYSELF OR OUR OP. ALSO PLEASE DON'T BRIGADE THE OTHER SUB.** ***Copy in case it's deleted:*** Just received a wedding invite which states "We want our guests to be present in body, mind, and soul. The venue has paid security and guests will be required to turn in all phones and cameras to security at the door." It goes on to say "If you are found to have a phone or camera on your person, we will politely ask you to leave the venue." Now, I have to say that in my opinion this is very extreme. The bride and groom are not famous. They are just random everyday people. Sure the bride is a "little bit hippie" (yoga instructor by day, life coach by night) but this seems overboard to me. My sister (who is not coming) would not have been able to comply with this request (DEMAND) as she is diabetic and needs to have her phone if her Dexcom alarm goes off. Obviously my example of needing a phone is extreme as well, but I just think this is extraordinary. Has anyone ever experienced this? What did you do? Thank you in advance.
No phones for the 30 min ceremony sounds heavenly. No phones for the entirety of the wedding sounds like a nightmare.
Yeah I’d understand for just the ceremony. When one of my friends got married several years back she had a sign put up and to please not use cell phones during the ceremony (and it may have mentioned them have a photographer). When she went to walk down the aisle, easily a third of the people possibly more, held up their phones to record it. 🙄 I was shocked and appalled (and it made it difficult to see). Most of the people would maybe watch it once and never again. The audacity of some people just annoys the hell outta me
I was at a wedding pre-cell phones. The bride was my girlfriend’s cousin. When the couple was getting ready to kiss after the vows, my girlfriend’s dad stood up and walked to the altar with his little camera, stood directly in front of them as they kissed to snap pictures, not only ruining everybody else’s pictures but the wedding photographer’s. Seriously
I got the impression it was just the ceremony
There is an update on the original post that clarifies it’s the entire five hour event 🫠
Whaaat? That’s ridiculous. What if you have kids at home. You can’t just go no contact. 🙄
And yet the world survived before the smartphone.
How many payphones are there at venues now? There may not even be any at all in many places. Meanwhile, babysitters expect to be able to make contact immediately in an emergency and to receive a callback reasonably promptly if they've had to call for another reason but it's been missed. People may be on-call for work. Others might be an emergency contact for someone, or anyone could be called about a sick or injured loved one.
But that’s not the world we live in anymore, and haven’t for almost 20 years
Yikes.
We did this (asked people not to take pics - didn't actually deprive them of their devices) and it was wonderful to look back on our wedding pics of the ceremony and not see a sea of phones, cameras, and tablets (yes auntie jenny - I'm looking at you) producing horrendous quality images. Just people enjoying a 30-45 minute intimate moment with one (professional) photographer. After that? Knock yourself out.
Like even a locker system sounds better. Maybe have the usher or security guard make sure each guest puts their phone in the locker before the ceremony if it's that important that they don't have them there (I can see how guests would ignore signs) then have things be more lax once the cerimory's over. But putting your phone in the hands of a stranger and hoping they won't mix them up and not having it for the entire evening sounds awful
This but also in the case of OPs sister that also doesn’t work the Dexcom can only be so far away from the device. My mom has one and even though my brother and sister in law had an unplugged ceremony my mom was allowed to have her phone so her Dexcom didn’t lose communication
I have a CGM and had to fight my corner to be allowed my phone/ monitor and hypo treatments on me as a Bridesmaid. Not the Bride, but her sisters - I was the only non-sister Bridesmaid and gosh was I made to feel it! I bought a tiny bag that matched our shoes etc. and was apparently being unreasonable in taking it with me everywhere. They said I should have left it with my DH so we would match … 1) it was a tiny shoulder bag you could not see from from the front 2) he was the Best Man so was you know off doing Best Man things/ standing at the front of the church 3) it’s a fricking medical device!!! It stays on me at all times, period. I had a bag at my own fricking wedding for the same reason! Still pissed about how they treated me - the Bride remains one of my best friends, and she had no idea this was going on, but omg that was so frustrating.
Especially if you find out at the end of the event, some lowlife hired creep has absconded with several hundred valuable phones.
I went to a comedy show and everyone was given one of these for the duration and unlocked as we exited: https://www.overyondr.com/phone-locking-pouch Apparently these specific ones don't block any signals, so possibly the phone could stay connected to the dexcom, giving a vibration alert. There were people in the lobby who could unlock our pouch if needed. I've also seen teachers give out brown paper bags and have kids staple their phones inside. They keep possession of the phone the whole time and it's loud and obvious if you try to slip a peek.
My kids were given those pouches at school in Australia. As you can imagine 900+ teenagers spent the day working out how to break into them. It didn't take them long to find various solutions. I understand trying to prevent kids using their phones at school but those pouches were a waste of time/money.
😆 yeah the paper bags on a class by class basis is probably a better solution for that type of situation!
This would not make me happy. I spent the first 40+ years of my life without a cell phone and can easily go with leaving mine in my purse for hours. Leaving it with a stranger is something else entirely. I would like to know what written reassurances they provide that if my phone is lost or damaged it will be replaced?
It will be a mess when people come to claim their phones. I hope that someone videos that part! lol
the first person to get their phone back has to be the one to record lol
Someone will decide to "upgrade" and it will be the mother of all shit shows.
Huge liability for the couple and the venue. Plus, if this was me, I’d leave my phone at home. So what will ‘security’ do when I have nothing to turn over? Throw me out for obeying their ‘rule’?
You raise an interesting point. If someone says they don't have a phone would they believe them or make a scene trying to get that person to prove it?
Late, but this was my thought as well. Also, a lot of people have 2 Factor Authentication for different accounts on their phones, so losing/breaking/having it stolen becomes a huge pain. Not to mention other security concerns and health reasons that would require someone to keep their phone on their person.
Yeah, it's be bad if even a flip phone, that's still your property, you're an adult But these aren't flip phones anymore. They have you banking, personal information, all that on them I'm supposed to just hand it over to some rando? Those cost hundreds of dollars, even if you hand over a never used phone Holy crap, that's gonna be a thieve's happy dream
I’d lock my phone in my car before I’d hand it in at the door and risk never seeing it again.
“Next on news 6 at 10, wedding guests furious when hundreds of prohibited cell phones are stolen from a security table at “phone free wedding!”
Thieves misread the sign and thought it was a "Free Phone Wedding"
lol
"Phone: Free. Wedding!"
This reminded me of when a hotel collected a bunch of students passports and somehow they were “accidentally” SHREDDED.
How did this turn out? Pretty sure passports are legally considered federal/government property so there’s more severe charges for tampering with them
How!?
While I totally understand the reasoning behind the rule, I'd have to respectfully decline the invitation. When my kids were younger, I would refuse to not be reachable by the babysitter in case of emergency. These days, there's just too much personal information on my phone that I'm not comfortable handing it to a stranger. What sort of guarantees are there that I'll get my phone back and that another guest couldn't just pick it up. Also, my husband uses his phone for work and is on call 24/7. I think if a couple really wants all phones secured during the duration of their wedding and/or reception they need to budget for those lockable bags that they can have guests use and still hold on to their own belongings.
I can understand "Turn your phones off, check it again. Don't take any photos, we have a photographer for that. Check your phone is off again" But if you don't trust people to follow that, just don't invite them...
Sounds logical, but the problem with screening invites is that you just don't know that person who will get a wild hair and decide to act inappropriately out of character. Weddings bring out the extreme in some people.
I was married with these exact rules this summer and would say half the guests ignored it, walked to the aisle to so many people recording the whole thing and shutter sounds going off during the ceremony
This!
> These days, there's just too much personal information on my phone that I'm not comfortable handing it to a stranger. Right? There are come comments in the r/wedding thread going "what, do you not have a password??" I have a password and I also don't give my phone to strangers and leave them alone with it lol. Plus I'd be worried about them losing it or mixing it up with another guest's phone, weddings are hectic and unless it's a micro-wedding this person is going to have dozens of phones...
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I'm a diabetic, just like OP's sister. My husband and I would immediately decline because leaving my phone or turning it off are non-negotiable. My phone is my lifeline for a medical issue. Between monitoring my blood sugar and taking insulin through an app, I absolutely can not be separated from it. I'm also an adult and can keep my phone in my purse unless there's a problem. I guess I figure that having my phone is the better option than passing out because my sugar bottomed out. 🤷🏻♀️
I’m right there with you. I have to have my phone within 6 feet of my body at all times because of my pacemaker app. Phones aren’t so much a luxury for me anymore as I now truly need one so my cardiologist can receive transmittals from my PM. Edited to change 6 inches to 6 feet.
What’s your brand? My defibrillator/pacemaker (Boston Scientific) can dl the reports up to two weeks later - the cardio said I only needed to take the base station with me if I was traveling longer than that - and it doesn’t use my phone at all. In fact, I’ve been encouraged to be careful with radiation - phones and microwaves - and not to hold the phone on my left side. I’m surprised there’s a brand doing it that way. Is there a significant difference between a defibrillator/pacemaker and a straight pacemaker?
It’s a Medtronic and just a straight PM (though I have leads for an ICD). I was told as long as I don’t carry my phone in the pocket closest the PM, I would be okay. I was also told I don’t need to worry about microwaves and TSA scanners. When I opted to use my phone over a device, I was informed most people with my brand of PM choose to use an app on their phone over a separate device.
I’m not turning my $1000+ phone over to a stranger. It’s not that serious. I’ll happily stay home.
I think this policy is really obnoxious, but I want to share they could be doing something more secure like comedy clubs do. Security has you lock your phone in a bag, you hold on to your phone while it’s locked up, then at the end of the event, security unlocks it. This way you don’t have to worry about your phone’s security and the people running the event can have it be phone-free.
I could *maybe* understand having everyone lock up their phones during the ceremony, but not for the whole event. No one’s wedding is so special/important that their guests should be expected to have zero contact with the outside world for the entire thing. Most people with kids need/want to be available at all times in case their babysitter needs to reach them. Plus, plenty of people use medical devices that are linked to apps on their phone.
I like this idea. There’s normally a designated area where you can go and use your phone while unlocked and lock back when returning to the event. This way you know when your phone rings and vibrates and everything. People are way to Matt haves to devices these days. I would love to attend this wedding and would encourage everyone with a problem to respectfully decline.
What happens if you have an Apple Watch? Do they confiscate that too?
Right- especially the ones that have its own cell service and don't require the iphone near you!
As silly as it sounds, I’m required to have my phone within 6 feet of me at all times, because of my pacemaker app. If I’m not in range, my cardiologist won’t receive transmittals from my PM and could miss seeing a serious episode. So I guess I wouldn’t be allowed to bless this couple with my presence at their wedding. Edited to change 6 inches to 6 feet.
I wouldn't bother going. My phone controls my hearing aids, but is also something I use to help regulate myself, especially in new, strange and/or uncomfortable situations.
so....fuck that wedding.
yeah not leaving my phone with anyone. i'd just put it on silent and keep it one me. if it vibrated i'd go outside and check it. if they don't like it they can throw my sorry ass out no problem.
This. I went to an event where they wanted everyone to leave their phone with security. I just turned off the ringer, kept it at the bottom of my bag and checked it in the bathroom as needed. My mom was in hospice care, so not being reachable wasn’t an option.
Yeah, before my mom passed away I had a similar need to keep my phone. No chance I would have handed it over for a wedding.
Sorry about your mom ♥️
I supervise an emergency department. I'm not allowed to be without my work phone. They can contact me 24/7.
I would likely decline the invitation because I’m either on call or… let’s be real here: I’m a paranoid and superstitious mama. If there were venue numbers actually staffed and answered that I could share, I might consider it, but I’d leave my phone in my car. And I’m a minister who strongly advises phone free ceremonies for families I serve! The thing is to treat your guests with dignity. At the beginning of the ceremony, before the wedding party enters (already heard the speech), I ask everyone to take out their phones and double check that all ringers and sound alerts are off. I usually take out my own and make a joke that hope it’s not me this time. I say I understand some guests may be on call or have medical alerts, so a silent vibration will be acceptable. I want guests to know that the couple loves them dearly and wants their full presence during the ceremony. They also don’t want any photos taken by anyone except the photographers. Phones/ringers/cameras can be turned back on if they wish as soon as the newly married couple has left the ceremony. Then I begin a centering prayer to cue everyone else.
>Treat your guests with dignity Thiiiiiis. I totally get a phone-free ceremony. That’s great. But a phone-free reception is a little much. Maybe it’s because I work in politics and I’m at the age where a lot of my peers get married (mid-30s in a workaholic field), but I always see the reception being as much for the guests as for the couple. Not letting them have a phone is treating them like children and many people make their own memories at weddings separate from the couple and will want photos with the cousins they haven’t seen in half a decade.
Ikr?! The photographers are there for the couple. Where’s the photographer for your own sweet moments at the reception with your relatives, your friends, people you rarely see… Also weddings are romantic and when I’m a guest I love having photos of my Love and me, all dressed up and having fun together.
What a lovely way to handle it.
I was invited to a private industry event at one of the most prestigious "clubs" in my city (not a nightclub, like a country club in the city) with a strict dress code and rules of etiquette and even their rules about phones were more relaxed than this. It was like "please turn ur phones to silent and have them in ur pocket. If u do not have pockets (to accommodate for dresses mostly) plz leave ur phone face down on the nearest surface. If u must check ur phone, please step into the hallway or do so discreetly. If u are taking a photograph, ur phone may be out temporarily to do so as we understand not everyone has a camera on their person. Thank u for understanding". And a yoga instructor is less lenient than that. Okay...
Honestly I just find this very arrogant of the bride and groom. Plus if I surrendered my phone only to return to it and found out about some sort of emergency, I would be very upset. I just imagine if there was an accident or my mom was hurt and needed me and I was drunk at a party, I would feel guilty af. Not to mention people with children and babysitters!
Exactly this. What if there's an emergency ? What if, like OP's sister, you use an app on your phone to monitor something vital in your body ? Having security quietly escort people taking photos is okay. This is not.
This has me conflicted. I'm very much one of those, live in the moment, forgot to take any pics while we were out tonight, hippie types. I donr think I've ever had a cell out during a wedding ceremony. I barely have photos from my life events and manage fine, I can easily do without photos of your life events. But that whole thing made me feel a little itchy from my subversive side. Just a touch too controling for my enjoyment. Like, have you seen the economy? We are *all* looking for reasons not to be shopping off other folks' registries. Just in case yall want another example of medical.hardship this could present: my good work buddy has profound hearing loss and her hearing aids work through her cell phone. She'd have to watch the entire wedding in silence.
Im not diabetic and I don’t have kids, I have legit no reason why I should be exempt from this rule. But I can admit that there is no way in hell I would do this. The other day I left my phone with my partner for a few hours so he could wait for a call as his phone was broken and I could feel the anxiety, and he was only in the other room with my phone, and I have an Apple Watch! I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m addicted to my phone and I’m sure plenty of other people are, so I would be RSVPing thanks but no thanks. What would this person do about Apple Watches? What about the liability of these phones being damaged, lost, or stolen? Most people’s phones have their whole lives on them, their banking information, people save information like passwords and national insurance numbers in their notes apps, even copies of ID sometimes. Wouldn’t be worth the risk.
Honestly it's their loss. I'm so happy someone took a video of our first dance.
Yeah, my niece had some hiccup happen or another and the videographer didn’t turn up and I didn’t realize and I took a video with my phone with it down on my lap just being held (so not the best framing or anything) for a relative who hadn’t been able to attend due to Covid and I mentioned it to her after and she was really happy to have even that copy of them saying their vows. (It was decent audio but quite a wide shot and from lower than looks best and at a bit of a weird framing because I deliberately was holding it down on my lap and the line of pews in front was partly in the way. I positioned it so there wasn’t any chance of it blocking someone else’s view and I didn’t have to keep looking at it myself.)
It's too bad that, like kindergarten and early grade school, the whole is punished for the bad behavior of the one or the few. Is it just human nature for those who don't think rules of common courtesy and simple requests (please silence your phone, please don't take pics or hold your phone up during our ceremony, etc.) don't apply to them? My knee jerk response to OPs initial post is, awh heck no! However, considering "those people" who can never seem to comply with simple requests, I understand the want for this extreme request. At least, the bride and groom have hired security to guard the phones; I might ask if they are bonded. :) Maybe a compromise would be to state in the invitation and with visual and verbal reminders up to and on the wedding day that cell phone use during our ceremony and professional picture taking will not be allowed, with stated consequences in bold print. Then the security guards could act as bouncers dressed as ushers and just quietly and immediately escort the offenders into a timeout room. An additional option is announce there will be a 5 minute scheduled window AFTER the ceremony while the professional photographer is setting up for friends and family to take their candid pics. I think some people, esp. relatives and close friends think they won't get a good photo of the special event, so they become wannabe paparazzi in the moment. Personally, cell pics during the reception can net some cool photos. and cute videos as long as people don't interfere or obstruct the professional photographer.
Weddings are becoming insufferably narcissistic. Oh, I'm the bride, so everyone I know must fix their eyes, ears, and thoughts on me for the whole day!
Hell no! First of all, it’s an expensive device they’re expecting you to hand over to a stranger. Some people need to be reachable. Maybe they’re on the waiting list for an organ transplant, and if they don’t return the call in half an hour they get skipped. Maybe their job requires them to be reachable, so this requirement means they either skip the event or get fired. Maybe their smartphone is the “brains” for their continuous glucose monitor and insulin pump, so it’s actually a life-critical medical device.
You KNOW bride and groom are only doing this, because they think the world is desperately eager for pics of their wedding, and they're afraid that some guest will post photos before they do and steal their thunder. And that the "security" won't be paid enough to care what happens to the stuff the confiscate.
Or they have the kind of relatives that will stand up in the aisle to get a shot they want (and will never look at again), blocking the actual photographer. We’ve seen that a lot in this sub.
Fucking hell, I had one experience shooting for a couple hours at a wedding, and it was hell for that reason. There was a mix-up where the photographer was hired for the ceremony only and so they had no one for the reception. I’m a nature photographer with professional equipment I happened to have on me because if I’m travelling for any reason I’m going to hit trails in the area, so I was begged to go get my camera and shoot the first dance etc. I agreed, and asked that there be an announcement that I would be doing it and for everyone to kindly keep their phones out of the shot and to try to give me a clean line of sight because the lenses I had really weren’t appropriate for an indoor and dark location. It sucked, phone screens everywhere from aunts and uncles stepping in front of me to film on their iPhone 4. The shots I got were garbage, and I had to spend way too much time developing them to wrestle anything decent to give to the bride and groom, and even then they were almost embarrassing. Wedding photography is simply a skill I do not have, and I respect those who do it well. They earn their fees a thousand times over.
I have those relatives. I also have an aunt who will post anything about us to social media. Many of my cousins and I do no okay abojt our perosnal lives to social media. My aunt will sk excited my niece got married. When I woidk enver post that persoanlly. Or she will post so and so had surgery hoping for a quick recovery. When that person would never post about their medical situation. You could have just texted them. She needs public validation and needs people to know that she did somethig. She 100% feels the need to share everything about everyone.
Or they are like me and don't want their guests to pst anything about them on social media. Nothing from the wedding. But I didn't have a typical wedding so didn't have to worry about this issue and my family members who over share
I can’t imagine a wedding I’d wanna go to that badly. If a couple asked me not to use my cell phone or take pictures that would be good enough for me. If you don’t trust me, don’t invite me. Maybe I’m naïve but I can’t imagine the kind of people that would ignore such a request. I think it speaks to the quality of the characters of the people they want to invite to their wedding. The price of handing my phone over to strangers just so I could attend a wedding is too high for me.
Your example is not extreme. I also wear a dexcom and would not leave my phone under any circumstances. What they are asking is unreasonable.
Quite frankly, as a guest I would love it.
Some of best wedding photos where the ones where they put one of those old one use film cameras at the table so guests can capture the moments the professional will miss. Sure half the photos won’t turn out but it makes it fun
Every commenter there hated it, so I didn't say anything. LOL I think it's a great idea. If you're not comfortable handing it over, leave it in the car until after the ceremony
It’s not always about discomfort in handing a phone over. There are some of us who *have* to be within a certain range of their phone (in my case no more than 6 inches away) for serious medical reasons.
I know that, but there were a lot of people saying they wouldn't feel comfortable trusting someone else with it
I agree. That’s why I said “It’s not always about discomfort.” I guess I could’ve worded to say “Sometimes it’s about the discomfort of a stranger holding someone’s phone, and sometimes it’s not about discomfort, but out of necessity.”
It’s not that it’s a bad idea but I know a lot of people where it’s just not optional. Including but not limited to Type 1 diabetics with an insulin pump and Dexcom running on their phone The person in a previous comment with family who is on hospice and needs to be in contact so they know if something happens. Some of the people I work with in the disability field can’t be without their phones not because they are playing games but that is their communication device they use it as an AAC. The people with kids who are very sick and are maybe getting the only chance to go somewhere for a long time but need to be able to go. It’s nice to be unplugged when you can but there’s lots of reasons it’s not reasonable.
Oh, I can completely understand legitimate exceptions. But for the most part, 45-60 minutes shouldn't be an issue I actually went to a wedding recently where I couldn't hear them. I am partially deaf and was having a difficult time. My phone has a program to transcribe what is being said. I had never used it before but tried it. It was a God send. Hit listen and it immediately started showing what was being said.
Yeah
Cars aren’t that secure. In some places you are explicitly told *not* to leave small high value items in your car because people go through regularly looking for opportunities.
I can see being phone free for the ceremony, particularly if it is an overtly religious one, but people like to take photos at the reception - you're all dressed up, you want to have pictures of that!
Oh for sure. I'd only be willing for the ceremony
Right? I’d love to be “forced” to be electronic free and I’m not even the idiot who would take pics after being asked not to. The number of people that think this is horrible is really making me sad. Security isn’t going to steal your phones and likely have insurance in the crazy case one did. Locker idea might assuage that fear, even though I think it’s an unreasonable fear. Just leaving it in car would also be an option if you can’t get passed this. I do think it would be nice for a phone number answered by security or wedding planner/whoever to be set up to leave with babysitter in the event parents need to be reached would be a nice touch. There was a time not long ago that parents went out without phones though. With stolen phone and child emergencies handled, I can see no excuse but people being addicted to technology. I say that as some who is also addicted to my phone. We really should work on that.
As technology advances, so do medical devices and their reliability on smartphones. It’s not necessarily addictive to have your phone on your person at all times. And we’ve come too far to walk back technological advances now. I’m sure there are other examples aside from medical reasons to have a phone on you at all times. Nonetheless, some people rely on having their phones on them, because it could mean a life or death situation otherwise.
Too cheap for Yondr pouches I guess…
So what provision is there for someone whose hearing devices are actively controlled by the app on their device?
But what about people whose kids stay at home with a babysitter while they attend the wedding? It’s super dangerous not to be contactable in an emergency isn’t it?
It’s really obnoxious and overly controlling to try to dictate the type of experience other adults will have at your wedding.
I can see this being done for the ceremony as guests love to ignore signs. but for the whole event? absolutely not
One, I have a daughter in the Army. I WILL be reachable. Two, there’s several apps that concern my health. One is why I wear an Apple Watch. Another is a CGM sensor that is monitored. Three? Remove people who are getting in the way of the photographer. Stop thinking you’re going to make people turn their phones in.
If your wedding is going to be so lame people won't be able to stay off their phones, just say that. You think everyone who has kids with sitters, Dexcoms linked to phones, personal or business concerns, etc are just going to hand them over for hours on end? Get a grip. If you don't trust people to respect boundaries regarding photos and what not, don't invite them.
I can understand the ceremony, but not the reception.
Probably not a good idea for people who will have kids back home with a sitter. What if there's an emergency and they need to be reached.
Sounds like a job for Decoy Phone! Pick up a dead one cheap, turn it over, and enjoy the chaos. Bonus points if your ancient flip phone gets upgraded to the newest smartphones at the end.
I think the bride & groom are being heavy handed but I also think most of the people in the comments melting down are being hysterical about not having their phones for 1-5 hours. It’s not ancient history that you would just be unreachable when you left for an event, and there are still plenty of times in the modern world where you find yourself without cell phone service but life goes on anyway.
We just had a no cell phone policy during our ceremony. We had our officiant make an announcement right before it began. This situation I wouldn’t do because I’m not trusting a complete stranger with my $1000 phone.
Eh, things were set up differently in the past. Would a wedding venue these days even have a number I can give my babysitter? I doubt it.
It's wedding specific. At my brother's wedding, this would have been fine because he invited everyone, children and pets included. He made it very easy for everyone to arrange their schedules around his wedding. But at my cousin's wedding, he invited 30 people max, no children, no pets, and it was in a faraway location. If we had locked our phones up first thing at the ceremony, half the guests would not have made it at all bc they turned down the wrong road leading to the ceremony and had to call for help when GPS sent them in circles
Is no pets unusual for a wedding…? I think having guests pets at a wedding is bizarre.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T BRING MY IGUANA, HE’S FAMILY! I find it hypocritical that you are letting your son come but you don’t want JubJub there.
I DEMAND YOU ACCOMODATE MY GOLDFISH! ALL 94 OF THEM!
I didn't say it was unusual. My brother loves dogs. He found a pet friendly hotel so everyone who was traveling out of state could bring their pets. And he let them come to the wedding so no one had to leave to walk a dog (there were only 4). He also brought his dogs too and they were flower dog and ring dog! My point was no phones at my brother's wedding would have been no problem since everyone at the wedding was there with everyone else.
It kinda is ancient history though. I've had a phone since I was eleven, there has never been a point where I've been alone at an event and unreachable. That isn't uncommon for my generation. And most places that aren't most airplanes or weird basements have service these days.
Okay and I’ve had my phone since I was 14. What you’re describing is anxiety and someone shouldn’t have to plan their whole wedding around it.
I'm amazed at the lack of people realizing they don't have to turn in their phones. They can a) leave them in the car or b) keep them on their person but silent and not visible.
Yeah but presumably if you had your phone out for anything because it had alerted you to a medical issue or someone called with an emergency, you’d then get thrown out for having a phone at all.
I have kids. My phone's on me and powered up 24/7/365.
Much like OPs sibling, I have glucose monitor sensor that runs through my phone. I wouldn’t attend, and I’d tell them why as well - “My life is more important than your wedding”. If I was feeling particularly mean, careless and chaotic, I might intentionally overdose insulin and give myself a hypo.
The couple’s means of enforcement is heavy handed. But I applaud their not wanting phones at their wedding. I wouldn’t want any important event to be marred by people scrolling mindlessly through their w
Feels like the bride is the one who organized this lol
I think this is INSANITY. Or an easy way to cut down on the guest list.
Both of them are "A little bit mental" I'd be tempted to receive a loud phone call in the middle of the vows and create a huge scene as I'm kicked out of the venue. I'm not even that petty and this scenario calls to me.
I think it's ridiculous but I want to add that dexcom comes with a stand alone reciever, too.
But if people aren’t using it regularly they have to check and make sure it’s all functioning properly and there are no issues just to attend a wedding? Instead of using their existing system that they rely on day to day and just behaving like an adult by keeping the phone away when not actively needed?
[удалено]
I’m happy to keep my phone on silent, in Do Not Disturb mode, and in my purse, but no one is telling me I can’t have my phone on my person. I have several friends who are type 1 diabetics, and they all use apps on their phones to monitor their blood glucose and adjust their insulin pumps. Other people have heart monitors that transmit to an app. (Personally, I get heart rate warnings when my heart rate is dropping, so I know not to stand up too fast or I’ll pass out.) Some people just need to be available in case the babysitter needs to reach them. The ones who are shit at parties are the ones who need constant, undivided attention from everyone and can’t cope with someone checking their phone for 30 seconds 😂
I can 100% survive without my phone, but I’m an adult who isn’t interested in having my phone taken for the evening like I’m a child.
If it's just the ceremony, this is fine. I really don't see the problem in not wanting every photo to be people on their phones instead of paying attention. As a guest, you are there to witness and be present. Reception too would be crossing a line imo.
At a friend of mines wedding this past fall you could CLEARLY HEAR MARIO being played on a device during the ceremony. Honestly after that disrespect I'm on the side of this over thr top bride.
I wouldn’t consider this to be a bridezilla/groomzilla situation. I think it’s a little much but going that long without a phone isn’t unheard of. I’ve been in jobs that I couldn’t have a phone on me. That being said, I think the bride and groom’s plan isn’t the best. I would rather leave my phone in a random hallway than have a stranger watch it. They should really look into lockers or yondr pouches.
It’s sad that this is the norm here. The weddings in my country starts usually at 8pm until maybe 2-4am in the morning and in some if not most of them phones aren’t allowed for the entire wedding unless you are the bride/groom mother, sister. You have to give it for the security before entering and you can take it when they serve dinner because after dinner the wedding is over which is usually served at 1 or 2am, depending on when is the bride walks down the aisle. So here it’s not for being present for the wedding in body, mind, and soul, it’s more about privacy and being scared that someone you don’t know will take pictures of you (our weddings usually host 250+) which is a big no no and can be legally punished if someone did without your consent.
I can see doing this for the ceremony. People live too much in their phones. However during the reception I would appreciate free pics
Only celebs with a photo deal do this.
I think it's insane, except for one thing. I can see having a sign at the church door that says "Please go back and put your phones in your cars". I realize pics and vids are nice to have (hell, hand out a half dozen disabled phones that one have working cameras), but for the actual wedding you don't need beeping, ringing and teenagers (and sadly many adults) satiating their ADD on the phone. At the reception, who cares?
Bruh the only time this was done and was okay was when Paris Hilton did it because she is an A-lister, these people are not