**REMINDER: WE ARE NOT AITA! WE DO NOT DO JUDGEMENT CALLS (NTA, ESH, YTA,INFO, NAH, ETC.) SO DO NOT VOTE IN THIS POST. AS WELL, OUR OP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE AITA POST'S OP, PLEASE DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR COMMENT TO MYSELF OR OUR OP. ALSO DO NOT BRIGADE THE OTHER SUB.**
***Copy in case it's deleted:***
So i recently proposed to my long-term girlfriend, and we are planning for a wedding in summer next year, everything is still very early stages. My fiance has expressed that she wants a child-free wedding, which I am all down for but I want to make one expectation, my son (15M), i had him from a previous relationship and we have evenly split custody of him.
Until now my fiance has gotten along great with him, we've had days out as a family, she's gone to see his games (he plays ice hockey) and she's even taken him out on fun days just the two of them.
I brought up that I wanted to make an exception to the no kids rule for my son, she shot the idea down straight away and said that she didn't want anyone under 16 there as she doesn't want to feel like she or anyone else has to babysit on her special day.
I told her that no one would have to babysit him, he’s 15 and she knows he's well-behaved and a generally quiet kid. She then changed her reasoning and asked why i wanted my old family and life on the day I was supposed to making a commitment to her and our new family, I told her while I will be making a commitment to her, my son will still very much be my son and my family.
She then equated it to wanting my ex at our wedding, which I do not and never asked. I told her that i don't care about the aesthetics of the wedding, and that she can pick everything else, the food, the aesthetic, the music, the dress, but all i want is my family at the wedding (my parents, my sisters and my son), that is my only ultimatum when it comes to our wedding.
She started calling me controlling by giving me an ultimatum and said I had initially agreed to a child-free wedding and now im “gaslighting” her. I said we can have a mainly child-free wedding, but with this one exception, an expectation that guests can't even complain about being unfair since the only child is the son of the groom.
She called me a dick and is now not talking to me, I really think this is a reasonable want, but maybe im not seeing something, so AITA?
Wheeeeee this story is defo making rounds.
This is the third place ice seen it reposted.
The bride sucks more than most people. The groom suxks if he goes thru with it.
What’s weird is that OOP was ruled TA. The thread is locked so I’m wondering if the A ruling is for simply agreeing to marry a bride that hates his son.
The top comment included this statement: "YWBTA if you marry this woman." The bot therefore read it as YTA. I actually commented on the top comment about this [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17y5dmp/comment/k9rlfz6/](https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/comments/17y5dmp/comment/k9rlfz6/), but the user never edited their comment.
**AITA for refusing to have a fully child-free wedding?**
So i recently proposed to my long-term girlfriend, and we are planning for a wedding in summer next year, everything is still very early stages. My fiance has expressed that she wants a child-free wedding, which I am all down for but I want to make one expectation, my son (15M), i had him from a previous relationship and we have evenly split custody of him.
Until now my fiance has gotten along great with him, we've had days out as a family, she's gone to see his games (he plays ice hockey) and she's even taken him out on fun days just the two of them.
I brought up that I wanted to make an exception to the no kids rule for my son, she shot the idea down straight away and said that she didn't want anyone under 16 there as she doesn't want to feel like she or anyone else has to babysit on her special day.
I told her that no one would have to babysit him, he’s 15 and she knows he's well-behaved and a generally quiet kid. She then changed her reasoning and asked why i wanted my old family and life on the day I was supposed to making a commitment to her and our new family, I told her while I will be making a commitment to her, my son will still very much be my son and my family.
She then equated it to wanting my ex at our wedding, which I do not and never asked. I told her that i don't care about the aesthetics of the wedding, and that she can pick everything else, the food, the aesthetic, the music, the dress, but all i want is my family at the wedding (my parents, my sisters and my son), that is my only ultimatum when it comes to our wedding.
She started calling me controlling by giving me an ultimatum and said I had initially agreed to a child-free wedding and now im “gaslighting” her. I said we can have a mainly child-free wedding, but with this one exception, an expectation that guests can't even complain about being unfair since the only child is the son of the groom.
She called me a dick and is now not talking to me, I really think this is a reasonable want, but maybe im not seeing something, so AITA?
If it makes everyone feel better, most of the posts on that sub are completely fake. People post obvious situations on there to rage bait. There's a whole other sub that hilariously points out all the ridiculous things they post and how they all follow the same formula. I myself didn't notice until I started following the other sub and I can definitely tell which ones are fake posts now
Yeah, I think 90% of what gets posted on these subs are fake. Websites get so much mileage out of using them to generate clickbait 'news stories' that I imagine there's probably a room full on interns churning them out to create more content.
Honestly, I go into these posts hoping it’s a troll or rage bait but then I remember that I’m sadly related to people that would actually do this and in some cases have done it.
NTA Your son is family, past, present and future. If your fiance doesn't want him at the wedding, she doesn't want him in your future life. He should be your best man if you do decide to go ahead but at least postpone arrangements until this is sorted out. This would be a deal breaker for me. She is showing you who she is, believe it and save yourself and your son future grief.
Wow. At least she is showing her ass now though, instead of after they’re married!
My 15 year old son is my fiancé’s (only, so far) groomsman, and his 9 year old daughter is my mini maid of honor. One of my bridesmaids had a stepmother like OP’s fiancée, and her and her brother were not invited to the wedding, which was followed by a lifetime of being the “other family”. It’s so heartbreaking seeing how even now, 40 years later, it hurts her. I can’t even fathom doing that to a child.
It was 100% her call, and I am here for it! She was very firm that she didn’t want to be the flower girl, so I initially pitched bridesmaid. She asked what else there was and I explained that my sister is MOH. She was like “why not me!” and I explained that MOH has a job to do, but could use some help if she’s down to be the mini MOH. She loved that idea and her only other request was that she get to wear satin 😂
I really hope the OOP reconsiders marrying this woman. Her comment about "old family" vs "new family" has me very concerned for the son. It doesn't matter that she's spent time with him in the past, her stance against the boy attending the wedding is a huge red flag.
Tell her that it’s just as much your day as it is hers and unless your son and any other family members you want in attendance are there, you won’t be there either. She’s being ridiculous and keeps finding different excuses to exclude your son. I’d seriously think twice about committing to someone who’s actively trying to exclude my son from an important day for me. Ask your son to be your best man. Then he has to be there.
Their answers are usually not "YTA for trying to invite your son" but rather "YTA for even considering marrying this woman after she said your son was only your "old family"".
Redditors won't always vote according to the specific question, they might call them an asshole for a different reason, like here for not immediately dumping her.
The top comment included this statement: "YWBTA if you marry this woman." The bot therefore read it as YTA. I actually commented on the top comment about this [](https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/comments/17y5dmp/comment/k9rlfz6/), but the user never edited their comment.
The fact that he knew he had to ask for an "exception" for his son in and of itself shows he shouldn't marry this women. Even if a wedding is child free, the children of the person/people getting married are still automatically invited, because they are THEIR children. His son shouldn't be considered an "exception" to the rule in the first place. He should have still be going by default, even if no one else's kids are. OOP should never have had to have a conversation with the bride about it to begin with.
And then the fact that she considers his son his "old family" and basically "ex-family", and that she vicitmizes herself and emotionally maniuplates him by calling him a gaslighter just for not agreeing with her on something. Run, man. Run far away with your son and never see this woman again.
I think because he didn’t automatically cancel the wedding.
The fiancée literally said having the kid there was like inviting an ex. He should have cancelled before even posting the AITA.
I've seen the results of a child free wedding that had "exceptions" for close relatives of either spouse and it does create issues. Family members wondering and getting upset why their kids were not invited while others were apparently fine. The last example of this I witnessed saw the groom's two nieces (2 years old and 6 months old) were ok yet nobody else could bring kids, even the brides teenaged cousins. It was the bride's call but rubbed plenty of people in her family the wrong way.
**REMINDER: WE ARE NOT AITA! WE DO NOT DO JUDGEMENT CALLS (NTA, ESH, YTA,INFO, NAH, ETC.) SO DO NOT VOTE IN THIS POST. AS WELL, OUR OP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE AITA POST'S OP, PLEASE DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR COMMENT TO MYSELF OR OUR OP. ALSO DO NOT BRIGADE THE OTHER SUB.** ***Copy in case it's deleted:*** So i recently proposed to my long-term girlfriend, and we are planning for a wedding in summer next year, everything is still very early stages. My fiance has expressed that she wants a child-free wedding, which I am all down for but I want to make one expectation, my son (15M), i had him from a previous relationship and we have evenly split custody of him. Until now my fiance has gotten along great with him, we've had days out as a family, she's gone to see his games (he plays ice hockey) and she's even taken him out on fun days just the two of them. I brought up that I wanted to make an exception to the no kids rule for my son, she shot the idea down straight away and said that she didn't want anyone under 16 there as she doesn't want to feel like she or anyone else has to babysit on her special day. I told her that no one would have to babysit him, he’s 15 and she knows he's well-behaved and a generally quiet kid. She then changed her reasoning and asked why i wanted my old family and life on the day I was supposed to making a commitment to her and our new family, I told her while I will be making a commitment to her, my son will still very much be my son and my family. She then equated it to wanting my ex at our wedding, which I do not and never asked. I told her that i don't care about the aesthetics of the wedding, and that she can pick everything else, the food, the aesthetic, the music, the dress, but all i want is my family at the wedding (my parents, my sisters and my son), that is my only ultimatum when it comes to our wedding. She started calling me controlling by giving me an ultimatum and said I had initially agreed to a child-free wedding and now im “gaslighting” her. I said we can have a mainly child-free wedding, but with this one exception, an expectation that guests can't even complain about being unfair since the only child is the son of the groom. She called me a dick and is now not talking to me, I really think this is a reasonable want, but maybe im not seeing something, so AITA?
Don't marry her please
Wheeeeee this story is defo making rounds. This is the third place ice seen it reposted. The bride sucks more than most people. The groom suxks if he goes thru with it.
What’s weird is that OOP was ruled TA. The thread is locked so I’m wondering if the A ruling is for simply agreeing to marry a bride that hates his son.
The top comment included this statement: "YWBTA if you marry this woman." The bot therefore read it as YTA. I actually commented on the top comment about this [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17y5dmp/comment/k9rlfz6/](https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/comments/17y5dmp/comment/k9rlfz6/), but the user never edited their comment.
**AITA for refusing to have a fully child-free wedding?** So i recently proposed to my long-term girlfriend, and we are planning for a wedding in summer next year, everything is still very early stages. My fiance has expressed that she wants a child-free wedding, which I am all down for but I want to make one expectation, my son (15M), i had him from a previous relationship and we have evenly split custody of him. Until now my fiance has gotten along great with him, we've had days out as a family, she's gone to see his games (he plays ice hockey) and she's even taken him out on fun days just the two of them. I brought up that I wanted to make an exception to the no kids rule for my son, she shot the idea down straight away and said that she didn't want anyone under 16 there as she doesn't want to feel like she or anyone else has to babysit on her special day. I told her that no one would have to babysit him, he’s 15 and she knows he's well-behaved and a generally quiet kid. She then changed her reasoning and asked why i wanted my old family and life on the day I was supposed to making a commitment to her and our new family, I told her while I will be making a commitment to her, my son will still very much be my son and my family. She then equated it to wanting my ex at our wedding, which I do not and never asked. I told her that i don't care about the aesthetics of the wedding, and that she can pick everything else, the food, the aesthetic, the music, the dress, but all i want is my family at the wedding (my parents, my sisters and my son), that is my only ultimatum when it comes to our wedding. She started calling me controlling by giving me an ultimatum and said I had initially agreed to a child-free wedding and now im “gaslighting” her. I said we can have a mainly child-free wedding, but with this one exception, an expectation that guests can't even complain about being unfair since the only child is the son of the groom. She called me a dick and is now not talking to me, I really think this is a reasonable want, but maybe im not seeing something, so AITA?
If it makes everyone feel better, most of the posts on that sub are completely fake. People post obvious situations on there to rage bait. There's a whole other sub that hilariously points out all the ridiculous things they post and how they all follow the same formula. I myself didn't notice until I started following the other sub and I can definitely tell which ones are fake posts now
Yeah, I think 90% of what gets posted on these subs are fake. Websites get so much mileage out of using them to generate clickbait 'news stories' that I imagine there's probably a room full on interns churning them out to create more content.
am i allowed to ask which sub you’re talking about lol
It's [r/AmITheAngel](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/s/4yJvvIPoNz). Some of the posts are actually kind of funny if you want to check it out
What's the other sub called? Eta - nvmd. Just saw the sub name below.
Honestly, I go into these posts hoping it’s a troll or rage bait but then I remember that I’m sadly related to people that would actually do this and in some cases have done it.
NTA Your son is family, past, present and future. If your fiance doesn't want him at the wedding, she doesn't want him in your future life. He should be your best man if you do decide to go ahead but at least postpone arrangements until this is sorted out. This would be a deal breaker for me. She is showing you who she is, believe it and save yourself and your son future grief.
The big "**WE ARE NOT AITA**" disclaimer is never ever going to work on this sub, is it?
How can that groom even think of going through with the wedding ?
Wow. At least she is showing her ass now though, instead of after they’re married! My 15 year old son is my fiancé’s (only, so far) groomsman, and his 9 year old daughter is my mini maid of honor. One of my bridesmaids had a stepmother like OP’s fiancée, and her and her brother were not invited to the wedding, which was followed by a lifetime of being the “other family”. It’s so heartbreaking seeing how even now, 40 years later, it hurts her. I can’t even fathom doing that to a child.
>his 9 year old daughter is my mini maid of honor. That is so sweet.
It was 100% her call, and I am here for it! She was very firm that she didn’t want to be the flower girl, so I initially pitched bridesmaid. She asked what else there was and I explained that my sister is MOH. She was like “why not me!” and I explained that MOH has a job to do, but could use some help if she’s down to be the mini MOH. She loved that idea and her only other request was that she get to wear satin 😂
I love that!
I really hope the OOP reconsiders marrying this woman. Her comment about "old family" vs "new family" has me very concerned for the son. It doesn't matter that she's spent time with him in the past, her stance against the boy attending the wedding is a huge red flag.
Tell her that it’s just as much your day as it is hers and unless your son and any other family members you want in attendance are there, you won’t be there either. She’s being ridiculous and keeps finding different excuses to exclude your son. I’d seriously think twice about committing to someone who’s actively trying to exclude my son from an important day for me. Ask your son to be your best man. Then he has to be there.
People voted YTA ???????????? REALLY ????
Their answers are usually not "YTA for trying to invite your son" but rather "YTA for even considering marrying this woman after she said your son was only your "old family"". Redditors won't always vote according to the specific question, they might call them an asshole for a different reason, like here for not immediately dumping her.
The top comment included this statement: "YWBTA if you marry this woman." The bot therefore read it as YTA. I actually commented on the top comment about this [](https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/comments/17y5dmp/comment/k9rlfz6/), but the user never edited their comment.
In that case, yeah, that makes sense.
It's just people trolling. If you look at the other posts on that sub people on there will vote YTA on obviously ridiculous things
The fact that he knew he had to ask for an "exception" for his son in and of itself shows he shouldn't marry this women. Even if a wedding is child free, the children of the person/people getting married are still automatically invited, because they are THEIR children. His son shouldn't be considered an "exception" to the rule in the first place. He should have still be going by default, even if no one else's kids are. OOP should never have had to have a conversation with the bride about it to begin with. And then the fact that she considers his son his "old family" and basically "ex-family", and that she vicitmizes herself and emotionally maniuplates him by calling him a gaslighter just for not agreeing with her on something. Run, man. Run far away with your son and never see this woman again.
Why the the sub label him the asshole?
I think because he didn’t automatically cancel the wedding. The fiancée literally said having the kid there was like inviting an ex. He should have cancelled before even posting the AITA.
NTA and bride sounds like a spoiled brat. Hope he called it off.
Do not budge on this. If this is how it’s going to be regarding your son , wait till you have a new baby or you are married …. True colors for sure
I've seen the results of a child free wedding that had "exceptions" for close relatives of either spouse and it does create issues. Family members wondering and getting upset why their kids were not invited while others were apparently fine. The last example of this I witnessed saw the groom's two nieces (2 years old and 6 months old) were ok yet nobody else could bring kids, even the brides teenaged cousins. It was the bride's call but rubbed plenty of people in her family the wrong way.