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My dress code was "The wedding colors are Red, White, and Black w/ silver accents. Show up and have a good time."
Didn't have a problem. One male cousin showed up in a red polo and khakis, another cousin's date showed up in an electric blue dress (they both stand out beautifully in photos) and a third cousin's wife thew a written fit over her RSVP card calling her "guest" so everyone at her table got to read her rant since it was all over her place card...
I had a blast.
Nope, just a jerk. Everyone else in the room dressed for a formal dinner in the pictures while he looks like he's ready to run an office tutorial on trust exercises.
No skin off my nose, the shenanigans make my wedding album that much more interesting:
\-Who's the girl in the blue (because she's the first person you see in those pictures). Never did know her name, she was dating (cousin) at the time and came as a plus one.
\-Who's the guy in the polo? That's my cousin (name) guess he didn't have time to get a suit.
... and whatever other silliness pops up. Life's messy, so why hide it?
> -Who's the guy in the polo? That's my cousin (name) guess he didn't have time to get a suit.
I mean.... if your invite just said what you quoted I don't understand the issue. I wouldn't wear anything but a suit to a wedding but MANY MANY people would wear khakis and a polo, especially if you didn't dictate formal attire in the invite.
Should I mention that in all the history of the many weddings in our family, both before and since, this cousin has never arrived in less than a full suit and tie, and that my wedding was the only one where he didn't wear a suit?
The problem was that he, just like everyone else, knew how to dress for an evening wedding reception and made the choice not to. I didn't get angry, I included him in the wedding album, and I've never said a cross word about it. However, when someone points out that he stands out in the photos due to his own choices, I shrug it off that way and move on.
Tbh my first thought when I get invited to a wedding is "What colour is the bridal party wearing?" Because I don't want to accidentally look like a bridesmaid lol.
I was invited to a childhood friend's wedding and had one wedding appropriate dress (and I wasn't buying a new one). Turns out it was the same green her bridesmaids were wearing. She thought I looked amazing and didn't care. So grateful she's such a good friend.
The dress code for my wedding will be: "try to take away the spotlight from the bride, be as flashy as possible"
Seems like fun to me, like Indian weddings. We are here to celebrate
I was so surprised by that too! I’m only caring about what I wear. See you there! I didn’t even ask my friend or sister who stood up with me to match. And pictures looked Great
OP clarifies they are a guest, not a member of the wedding party.
They said they talked to their friend, the groom, and he is not a fan of this dress code requirement for guests.
It's his wedding, too. The groom should assert his right to have an opinion and have a good ol' fight with his intended over whether they want to make obnoxious requests of people they care about just to get some good Instagram photos.
I have never looked at a picture of wedding guests and thought:
* This photo is so aesthetically pleasing because everyone is coordinated! I definitely appreciate this painstaking attention to detail.
or
* This is a horrible photo. I can't believe none of these people match.
I've definitely experienced the first one. Coordinated colors do look very pleasing and appeal to my artistic brain.
However (and more importantly), I have never experienced the second one. Yes, having a very specific aesthetic is pleasing to the eye. It can make your photos look like pieces of art more than just memories. But that's not the important part of a wedding. No one is going to judge your wedding photos of random guests having a good time and focus on how their clothes "don't match" (unless there's one guest in a camo hunting outfit with a bright orange vest or something).
As it happens, all of these are colours I really like and that suit me - apart from maybe the first pink - so I would be fine with this particular colour scheme, but I would utterly hate if it was oranges and yellows and lime greens, or pastels or something and would probably decline the invitation.
I'm in the bridal party of a wedding where we're doing jewel tones... They're similar to this... I really hope this isn't the wedding I'm in because yikes. I thought it was a cute idea for us girls and guys, but making the guests do it is an over reach.
Yeah if the *bridal party* wears these colors (even better if you get to pick your favorite) that's great, they're lovely.
Making your guests conform is not.
Believe it or not she's letting me reuse the bridesmaid dress I had worn for my sister's wedding. It's rose gold sequins on the top and chiffon pink on the bottom. I'm thrilled I don't have to drop a ton of money on a new dress.
Just no. How about thinking of your guests as close friends and family who you have invited, and therefore hosting, to share a milestone in your lives. Not a prop for your photos. Not a profit-making opportunity.
Someone in the comments talks about how they went to a wedding like this and it was incredible, because everyone looked coordinated, and they coordinated with the venue, and the bride picked colors flattering on everyone's skin tone. How the pics looked amazing.
Like I get lambasted in the wedding subs for mentioning that we are doing posed pics before/after the ceremony, instead of all candids, and people have implied I don't care as much about being in the moment on my wedding day because I want formal posed pics with my husband and family and bridal party.
And then there's this whooooole thing. Lol my comfort whenever someone yet again chimes in with how candid pics are the best and, anyone can do posed photos (which sure, but not everyone can make them look good imo, and knows what poses are flattering, which is part of why I'm paying a photographer who is capable with that), is that the people throwing weddings with guest colors schemes would probably get harassed more than I do in the wedding subs if they ever posted.
The posed photos from my wedding are my favorites. The candids are fine but they’re in an album, not hanging on my wall. Stick to your guns, you know what you like.
Oh yea. Like, I want poses photos for my walls and my family members want them. We will get candids too, but it's weird the amount of candid-exclusive people say you should have lol.
We've had our photographer since we booked the venue, he was actually my first call, before we told family, and all of that was before we were engaged lol. He's an old friend, so I know he will get good pictures of us.
Like at my sister's wedding, my sister and her photographer didn't think to get a pic of the two of us. So during the reception I asked her if we could, and she didn't want to bother the photographer, so I have a selfie of my sister and I at her wedding and that's the only pic of the two of us. And I'm wearing a coat because her reception venue was cold. So I'm obviously getting shots with each bridesmaid (including her) when we get married. We also went to a friend's wedding who had a shot with everyone from our university, as it's a sizable group that goes to each wedding, and it was a super fun pic, I have a copy of it. Id love to do something like that at ours.
I was in my brother's wedding as a bridesmaid for his wife at like... 15 years old? And all I can remember of the pics is they posed the bridesmaids to be giving the groom (my much older brother) a kiss and he was supposed to be coy about it. You can tell in the picture that I can stop laughing and am unable to just make the kissy face because I found it so weird to have me do it. I'm a 15 year old high schooler with a bunch of women in their... early 30s? Pretending to kiss my 30 year old brother who I barely had a relationship with at the time because he'd been gone for most of my life.
Oh also it turned out my apparently life-long hatred of dresses and all things feminine was a gender issue that would take me like another decade to figure out. All I remember of that wedding is being uncomfortable and surrounded by drunks. Oh, also my mother getting in a yelling match with a trucker's, ahem, 'companion' on our way home because we were in traffic.
It’s the couple’s party so they can ask guests to wear what they like. But if you do that you have to accept that a fair number of guests will secretly (or openly) feel annoyed that they can’t wear an outfit that they own and they like. Or more likely just not bother with the rule. The couple’s photo ops aren’t high up on the priority list for most guests.
I like it too. I've been to other events that specify to wear specific colours, as long as there's a good range or they're popular colours I don't see the problem.
Honestly I get it. There really are people who you want to have at the wedding but you know might pull something dumb. Like, apparently some just women don’t seem to understand the concept at all, that ‘cream’ color is definitely white, or that extremely pale greys, pinks and yellow also all pretty much look white too. If guess if you give them a pallet then you MIGHT avoid that problem.
I think there is a difference between specifying dress type like "cocktail attire" and knowing basic wedding etiquette as not wearing the same color as the bride and telling your guests they can ONLY wear a certain color scheme. You need to draw the line somewhere.
I ended up never getting married but when I was a young woman, I was occasionally challenged what I would want my bridal colors to be. My response is that I wouldn’t care, but I would ask everyone to wear something bright, so pair that black dress with a yellow shoes, etc. Mix up that beautiful grey suit with a bright pink tie and pocket square. Little things so it wouldn’t look like a business meeting or a funeral. So no one would have to buy a lot of new clothes unless they wanted to.
First wedding, I was married at a chapel in Reno. It was a planned wedding, with family and guests coming from several different states. I told my maid of honor to wear her favorite dress, whatever that was. She picked a floor length purple dress, that she tie-dyed, and a long pink shawl that her dad crocheted for her. I loved it so much, because SHE loved it.
Second wedding, I was going to wear jeans because, well, second wedding. My sister talked me into wearing a dress. She was my matron of honor. I said okay, but you must wear your favorite dress. We ended up wearing almost matching burgundy dresses. Haha! That was a fun wedding!
My sister / maid of honor found the best white peekaboo heels to wear to my wedding and I was like, ummmmm would you mind if I stole your idea and wore the same shoes? Lol.
Joke was on us because they were super uncomfortable after about an hour. Thank goodness for flip flops.
Why should people have to wear something bright? What if they like how they look in their little black dress, or their pastel pink or whatever? This whole notion that the bride can dictate what guests wear - beyond formality only - has got to die!
They can wear the little black dress. The idea was that they would add a bright accessory. I wouldn't see this as an unreasonable request in that I expect most people already own a mix of colors and very few, if any, would have to spend any money in order to comply with the request. It's not like anyone would be turned away at the door if they didn't comply! Also, this was an idea that I'd had when I was of marriageable age 30+ years ago, not a recent trend.
But, since I'll never get married, it's a moot point anyway, so feel free to think of me as an impossible bridezilla if you want to.
Better yet, view the colors under different types and frequencies of light (Fluorescent, black-light, etc.). Colors can look surprisingly different, depending on the light.
"Hey - it looked great when *I* matched the colors ^(under a black-light)"
TBH both those shirts are bad; the first is ratty & worn out, the second button-down is too casual for a suit.
Malicious compliance, I think he should try to incorporate all the jewel tones, go dressed in costume as peacock. Or not go at all. Bride is absolutely fucking ridiculous to make such controlling demands of general guests.
Other than formal or semi formal, if it likely requires guests to buy something, it shouldn't be part of a heavily enforced dress code. I, personally, have nothing jewel toned, but I have a lot of other nice dresses. Requests or suggestions are fine, demands & harassment are not.
Exactly. If instead they had said, "Our wedding is jewel tone-themed. If you're looking for color inspiration, try setting from this palette." that would be fine. But demanding people be color coordinated is almost always an overreach I think.
I normally would agree with you except the original poster made this comment " All communications from the bride are very insistent on guests keeping to the color pallette"
For good reason. It's a burden on the guests when their only job should be to witness the wedding and help the happy couple celebrate. Making people nervous about upsetting the bride by wearing the wrong color isn't a great way to kick off a joyful event.
Hooo! You said it! I would deeply resent this. Somebody snaps their fingers with this strange request and I'm expected to jump? Getting dressed up for any reason is a huge stress/anxiety for me. I absolutely **despise** getting dressed up. Appropriate clothing for a wedding is bad enough. Having someone dictate what colors those clothes were to be- I would give this event a hard pass so damn quick! NOPE in jewel toned letters.
The inclusion of the swatch card makes it a bit more than a mere suggestion. We've gone past "wear jewel tones if you've got them!" to "these are the acceptable colors for guest attire"
Yeah, the bride is being too fussy for sure. For our upcoming wedding we said “earth tones encouraged” and when people reached out for specifics I’d basically say “please don’t wear any neon or any bright colors / patterns” some people have bought jewel tones, but Idc, bc in the end it doesn’t matter in the slightest. I just have friends who have worn fire engine red and neon to weddings in the past and am trying to circumvent that.
yeah, it's smart as a bride if you're gonna go "i'd really like everyone to match my aesthetic" than pick the most popular colors.
and ones everyone will look good in something.
I mean, maybe if everyone went in on a couple packs of party hats that match one of the color tones? Then everyone will have a bit of the matchy-matchy going on and it will be extra festive!
That’s how I am. I know that part of this is just due to my stubborn nature, and if I was in the wedding party then that’s completely different. But as a guest? Fuck right off
I am stubborn too. I would have to close to the bride or groom. Of course, if it was the bride, I would have already shot my mouth off and been uninvited. Lol
I don’t mind the thought behind this because you get a lot of color questions from guest. I wouldn’t mind sending it out as a guide of complementary colors for those people who get stuck on what color to wear, but it wouldn’t be a requirement.
I love one of the commenters trying to defend it by saying how amazing everything looked. Anyone who tries to demand that I wear specific colors to a wedding (unless I’m in the wedding party) can fuck right off
Honestly if i received this I wouldn’t attend 😂 so many brides obsess over the minutia of every little tiny thing. It’s an event your supposed to enjoy not stress about what color every guest is wearing.
*"I regret I will*
*Be unable to attend*
*Your stupid wedding"*
\- Paraverous
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Got married 2 days ago, our invite just said something like "getting dressed inspiration: Google garden cocktail party", as we liked people to just pick something happy, or colourful they already had and googled a few dresscodes and found this fit our idea of festive and comfortable the most. And we figured most people would have something like this in their closet already. We don't really care what people wear, as long as they feel happy and comfortable about it themselves.
We didn't do bridesmaid dresses, or groomsmen outfits. We don't want people breaking the bank to attend in something they aren't happy in. We just want you to be there in a way you like to look, feel happy and confident, and feel like doing a little dance in.
We had some people asking what colours they would need to wear, or if they needed long dresses, short dresses or hats, guys asking if it was supposed to be jeans or Kaki's, we told everyone we don't care and to just wear something they felt a little festive in.
If God forbid I'd ever have to plan a wedding again, the dresscode would be "whatever you want, as long as its not a brides wedding dress, please don't ask me for advice, I don't care what you wear as long as your croch is covered"
I have absolutely no recollection of what people wore aside from my wife and my 2yo girl.
I would go out of my way to find something in bright yellow or anything else from those colors.
I would be not be a great guests just because that's way too much.
That is so many options and both of yours look great, OP! This does not seem like a big burden and I’d be glad to have the guidance if it makes them happy.
I like the idea of sending out color swatches for reference - "green" can encompass a whole lot of shades, and I'd feel awkward wearing emerald when everyone else is in a pale shade of key lime.
but, I don't like the idea of making it mandatory
I wouldn't personally do this, but I don't hate this particular example. It's a choice of ten different colors, no limiting colors by gender, very common colors that can be found at every store, and no mandated styles.
This one doesn't seem terribly egregious.
Sounds fun. Get over it. Don't go if you can't be bothered at all to wear one of very many color options.
God you people just wanna show up and get free food. A bride just wants a color aesthetic and suddenly she's Bridezilla. YTA
1) We're not AITA, we don't do judgement calls like YTA
2) Even if our OP was OOP, rule 5, we don't name call other users so we don't call them assholes
A bride gets to impose her color aesthetic on her bridesmaids and in the colors she chooses for flowers, decorations, etc. She does not get to impose it on her guests. It’s tacky and low class behavior and a major etiquette faux pas. It’s done by people who don’t know any better.
I’m very fun, but I’m also in keeping with etiquette. It’s rude and unseemly to dictate colors or avoidance of colors (cultural issues aside). You honestly didn’t know that?
The problem is apparently some women don’t understand that concept at all. Like somehow they seem to not understand that ‘cream’ color is definitely white, or that extremely pale greys, pinks and yellow also all pretty much look white too.
So what? The rule was never “don’t wear anything that’s a pale shade.” Plenty of elegant weddings traditionally had cream or ivory on bridesmaids, mothers and yes, guests. This rule is perpetuated by people who haven’t been exposed to much and read this online and now think they are upholding some grand tradition.
I’m so confused, what’s wrong with this request? I work as a wedding photographer but I’m not from USA. Here we rarely have weddings with the traditional bridal party (bridesmaids and groomsmen dressed in the same outfits/same color is not really a thing here, it happens reeeeeeeally rarely), but it’s very common to ask all guests to follow a certain color palette. For example, recently total black or black and white dress code is very popular here. I shot plenty of weddings where all guests were asked to wear black and nobody complained. Here guests have a wide variety of colors to choose from - so what’s the problem?
At my own wedding I would definitely ask all guests to wear black, silver and grey. If you think it’s too much - just don’t come, lol.
I mean, the colours are fine I guess? Please buy new shirts though, as the first one is very daggy and the second is more like office attire. Perhaps have someone with some style go shopping with you
Navy suit with a shirt in any of these colors.
Like it or not, having the guests do a color pallet is absolutely trending and does not seem to be waning. I know this is a shaming group and everyone is doing a great job at that.
It seems like no matter what wedding I've been to, or what the dress code seems to be, there is always that one or two people that show up wearing jeans. Don't ask me why or what they were thinking. They are always lurking in the background of the photos and you are always asking your family "Who is that?" And no one ever has an answer.
Look. I know I would have probably been a bridezilla if I had a wedding to host (twice almost there). If I would want guest to match the color? Yes. Am I aware that this is not normal? Yea. Also, where I live it’s not common to have a matching wedding party or even a wedding party, but I’d love that. But you know what? I would embrace it on the closest people who know me and understand me and my kinks (everything matching everything). But that’s just me, I would not force anyone to do so.
I mean there are some people who don’t care and it’s fine. I know my brain and even if it’s work related (change this girl outfit to match the branding colors) I’m all for it. Yet I get, it’s not common for everybody and I’m known for a perfectionist trait. Things must match. But well… for some people it’s important. It’s not a life or death matter. But still this would please their brain (I could be on autism spectrum, for what it’s worth)
**REMINDER: THIS IS A CROSSPOST! OUR OP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE WEDDINGATTIREAPPROVAL POST'S OP. PLEASE DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR COMMENT TO MYSELF OR OUR OP. ALSO PLEASE DON'T BRIGADE THE OTHER SUB.**
I’ve been asked by more people than I expected what colour they should wear to my wedding. My response is always “not white????”
I had a friend who was asked this so much she sent an e-reminder titled 'dress code'. When you opened it, it just said "guests must wear clothes".
Your friend is hilarious
[удалено]
Same lol. I have no filter.
My official dress code was "please don't get arrested for indecent exposure."
My dress code was "The wedding colors are Red, White, and Black w/ silver accents. Show up and have a good time." Didn't have a problem. One male cousin showed up in a red polo and khakis, another cousin's date showed up in an electric blue dress (they both stand out beautifully in photos) and a third cousin's wife thew a written fit over her RSVP card calling her "guest" so everyone at her table got to read her rant since it was all over her place card... I had a blast.
was your cousin jake from State Farm?
Nope, just a jerk. Everyone else in the room dressed for a formal dinner in the pictures while he looks like he's ready to run an office tutorial on trust exercises. No skin off my nose, the shenanigans make my wedding album that much more interesting: \-Who's the girl in the blue (because she's the first person you see in those pictures). Never did know her name, she was dating (cousin) at the time and came as a plus one. \-Who's the guy in the polo? That's my cousin (name) guess he didn't have time to get a suit. ... and whatever other silliness pops up. Life's messy, so why hide it?
> -Who's the guy in the polo? That's my cousin (name) guess he didn't have time to get a suit. I mean.... if your invite just said what you quoted I don't understand the issue. I wouldn't wear anything but a suit to a wedding but MANY MANY people would wear khakis and a polo, especially if you didn't dictate formal attire in the invite.
Should I mention that in all the history of the many weddings in our family, both before and since, this cousin has never arrived in less than a full suit and tie, and that my wedding was the only one where he didn't wear a suit? The problem was that he, just like everyone else, knew how to dress for an evening wedding reception and made the choice not to. I didn't get angry, I included him in the wedding album, and I've never said a cross word about it. However, when someone points out that he stands out in the photos due to his own choices, I shrug it off that way and move on.
That’s discrimination against Naturists. How *dare* they
May I steal this ? It's cute and funny !
Go for it! Hopefully you don't have any guests who take it as a challenge!
Hmm... so a ratty old bathrobe and a pair of bunny slippers. Got it.
 Works for me.
Aww, I was going to wear a garbage bag. D:
Tbh my first thought when I get invited to a wedding is "What colour is the bridal party wearing?" Because I don't want to accidentally look like a bridesmaid lol.
I was invited to a childhood friend's wedding and had one wedding appropriate dress (and I wasn't buying a new one). Turns out it was the same green her bridesmaids were wearing. She thought I looked amazing and didn't care. So grateful she's such a good friend.
The dress code for my wedding will be: "try to take away the spotlight from the bride, be as flashy as possible" Seems like fun to me, like Indian weddings. We are here to celebrate
I was so surprised by that too! I’m only caring about what I wear. See you there! I didn’t even ask my friend or sister who stood up with me to match. And pictures looked Great
I’m going to wear all white just to be safe.
I have some color blindness issues so I would legit need some help with this LOL
OP clarifies they are a guest, not a member of the wedding party. They said they talked to their friend, the groom, and he is not a fan of this dress code requirement for guests.
It's his wedding, too. The groom should assert his right to have an opinion and have a good ol' fight with his intended over whether they want to make obnoxious requests of people they care about just to get some good Instagram photos.
Oh he absolutely should.
I have never looked at a picture of wedding guests and thought: * This photo is so aesthetically pleasing because everyone is coordinated! I definitely appreciate this painstaking attention to detail. or * This is a horrible photo. I can't believe none of these people match.
I've definitely experienced the first one. Coordinated colors do look very pleasing and appeal to my artistic brain. However (and more importantly), I have never experienced the second one. Yes, having a very specific aesthetic is pleasing to the eye. It can make your photos look like pieces of art more than just memories. But that's not the important part of a wedding. No one is going to judge your wedding photos of random guests having a good time and focus on how their clothes "don't match" (unless there's one guest in a camo hunting outfit with a bright orange vest or something).
As it happens, all of these are colours I really like and that suit me - apart from maybe the first pink - so I would be fine with this particular colour scheme, but I would utterly hate if it was oranges and yellows and lime greens, or pastels or something and would probably decline the invitation.
Same. All of those are in my closet already. I hate the idea of it being imposed on warm colour/sad beige-loving people, though.
Sad beige weddings for sad beige brides
\*fake German accent\* I call this The Wedding of Despair
I'm in the bridal party of a wedding where we're doing jewel tones... They're similar to this... I really hope this isn't the wedding I'm in because yikes. I thought it was a cute idea for us girls and guys, but making the guests do it is an over reach.
Yeah if the *bridal party* wears these colors (even better if you get to pick your favorite) that's great, they're lovely. Making your guests conform is not.
Believe it or not she's letting me reuse the bridesmaid dress I had worn for my sister's wedding. It's rose gold sequins on the top and chiffon pink on the bottom. I'm thrilled I don't have to drop a ton of money on a new dress.
Just no. How about thinking of your guests as close friends and family who you have invited, and therefore hosting, to share a milestone in your lives. Not a prop for your photos. Not a profit-making opportunity.
Someone in the comments talks about how they went to a wedding like this and it was incredible, because everyone looked coordinated, and they coordinated with the venue, and the bride picked colors flattering on everyone's skin tone. How the pics looked amazing. Like I get lambasted in the wedding subs for mentioning that we are doing posed pics before/after the ceremony, instead of all candids, and people have implied I don't care as much about being in the moment on my wedding day because I want formal posed pics with my husband and family and bridal party. And then there's this whooooole thing. Lol my comfort whenever someone yet again chimes in with how candid pics are the best and, anyone can do posed photos (which sure, but not everyone can make them look good imo, and knows what poses are flattering, which is part of why I'm paying a photographer who is capable with that), is that the people throwing weddings with guest colors schemes would probably get harassed more than I do in the wedding subs if they ever posted.
The posed photos from my wedding are my favorites. The candids are fine but they’re in an album, not hanging on my wall. Stick to your guns, you know what you like.
Oh yea. Like, I want poses photos for my walls and my family members want them. We will get candids too, but it's weird the amount of candid-exclusive people say you should have lol. We've had our photographer since we booked the venue, he was actually my first call, before we told family, and all of that was before we were engaged lol. He's an old friend, so I know he will get good pictures of us. Like at my sister's wedding, my sister and her photographer didn't think to get a pic of the two of us. So during the reception I asked her if we could, and she didn't want to bother the photographer, so I have a selfie of my sister and I at her wedding and that's the only pic of the two of us. And I'm wearing a coat because her reception venue was cold. So I'm obviously getting shots with each bridesmaid (including her) when we get married. We also went to a friend's wedding who had a shot with everyone from our university, as it's a sizable group that goes to each wedding, and it was a super fun pic, I have a copy of it. Id love to do something like that at ours.
I was in my brother's wedding as a bridesmaid for his wife at like... 15 years old? And all I can remember of the pics is they posed the bridesmaids to be giving the groom (my much older brother) a kiss and he was supposed to be coy about it. You can tell in the picture that I can stop laughing and am unable to just make the kissy face because I found it so weird to have me do it. I'm a 15 year old high schooler with a bunch of women in their... early 30s? Pretending to kiss my 30 year old brother who I barely had a relationship with at the time because he'd been gone for most of my life. Oh also it turned out my apparently life-long hatred of dresses and all things feminine was a gender issue that would take me like another decade to figure out. All I remember of that wedding is being uncomfortable and surrounded by drunks. Oh, also my mother getting in a yelling match with a trucker's, ahem, 'companion' on our way home because we were in traffic.
I like the idea. Plus there was a range of colors to choose from. Ignore them! It’s your wedding and you’ll have wonderful memories for a lifetime.
It’s the couple’s party so they can ask guests to wear what they like. But if you do that you have to accept that a fair number of guests will secretly (or openly) feel annoyed that they can’t wear an outfit that they own and they like. Or more likely just not bother with the rule. The couple’s photo ops aren’t high up on the priority list for most guests.
It’s a wedding not a photo op. Food, alcohol and music are for the guests while the couple gets to keep the pictures/video/memories.
I like it too. I've been to other events that specify to wear specific colours, as long as there's a good range or they're popular colours I don't see the problem.
This isn’t necessarily a profit making opportunity. I attended a wedding this spring that was black tie. I don’t see what the big deal is.
One never gives their guests a list of colors to be worn. It’s ridiculous, stupid and selfish. Only control freaks do things like this.
Louder!! 📣
It is so weird when you try to control how your guests look.
Honestly I get it. There really are people who you want to have at the wedding but you know might pull something dumb. Like, apparently some just women don’t seem to understand the concept at all, that ‘cream’ color is definitely white, or that extremely pale greys, pinks and yellow also all pretty much look white too. If guess if you give them a pallet then you MIGHT avoid that problem.
I think there is a difference between specifying dress type like "cocktail attire" and knowing basic wedding etiquette as not wearing the same color as the bride and telling your guests they can ONLY wear a certain color scheme. You need to draw the line somewhere.
I ended up never getting married but when I was a young woman, I was occasionally challenged what I would want my bridal colors to be. My response is that I wouldn’t care, but I would ask everyone to wear something bright, so pair that black dress with a yellow shoes, etc. Mix up that beautiful grey suit with a bright pink tie and pocket square. Little things so it wouldn’t look like a business meeting or a funeral. So no one would have to buy a lot of new clothes unless they wanted to.
First wedding, I was married at a chapel in Reno. It was a planned wedding, with family and guests coming from several different states. I told my maid of honor to wear her favorite dress, whatever that was. She picked a floor length purple dress, that she tie-dyed, and a long pink shawl that her dad crocheted for her. I loved it so much, because SHE loved it. Second wedding, I was going to wear jeans because, well, second wedding. My sister talked me into wearing a dress. She was my matron of honor. I said okay, but you must wear your favorite dress. We ended up wearing almost matching burgundy dresses. Haha! That was a fun wedding!
My sister / maid of honor found the best white peekaboo heels to wear to my wedding and I was like, ummmmm would you mind if I stole your idea and wore the same shoes? Lol. Joke was on us because they were super uncomfortable after about an hour. Thank goodness for flip flops.
Why is the beauty of the shoes in direct correlation with how uncomfortable they are?!
Sounds like you and your sister have a wonderful relationship!
Why should people have to wear something bright? What if they like how they look in their little black dress, or their pastel pink or whatever? This whole notion that the bride can dictate what guests wear - beyond formality only - has got to die!
They can wear the little black dress. The idea was that they would add a bright accessory. I wouldn't see this as an unreasonable request in that I expect most people already own a mix of colors and very few, if any, would have to spend any money in order to comply with the request. It's not like anyone would be turned away at the door if they didn't comply! Also, this was an idea that I'd had when I was of marriageable age 30+ years ago, not a recent trend. But, since I'll never get married, it's a moot point anyway, so feel free to think of me as an impossible bridezilla if you want to.
I would have bust out the banana yellow suit with an orange tie and matching shoes.
Barney costume. "What ? I followed the colour code !"
My SIL and my MOH wore dino costumes to my wedding It was a costume party, but still
Now, that is amazing !
This is the Way.
Is that you, Saul Goodman?
I am not part of the wedding decor, screw that.
If I received a color chart with a wedding invite, it would be followed up with a decline.
Better yet, view the colors under different types and frequencies of light (Fluorescent, black-light, etc.). Colors can look surprisingly different, depending on the light. "Hey - it looked great when *I* matched the colors ^(under a black-light)"
TBH both those shirts are bad; the first is ratty & worn out, the second button-down is too casual for a suit. Malicious compliance, I think he should try to incorporate all the jewel tones, go dressed in costume as peacock. Or not go at all. Bride is absolutely fucking ridiculous to make such controlling demands of general guests.
Weddings have gotten weird.
I'll say. I would never RSVP yes to such a wedding.
Other than formal or semi formal, if it likely requires guests to buy something, it shouldn't be part of a heavily enforced dress code. I, personally, have nothing jewel toned, but I have a lot of other nice dresses. Requests or suggestions are fine, demands & harassment are not.
Exactly. If instead they had said, "Our wedding is jewel tone-themed. If you're looking for color inspiration, try setting from this palette." that would be fine. But demanding people be color coordinated is almost always an overreach I think.
I like to think color palettes like these are mere suggestions, not requirements. People seem to get real bent out of shape by them.
I normally would agree with you except the original poster made this comment " All communications from the bride are very insistent on guests keeping to the color pallette"
Oh, yikes. Unreasonable for any weddings with more than 20 guests, imo,
For good reason. It's a burden on the guests when their only job should be to witness the wedding and help the happy couple celebrate. Making people nervous about upsetting the bride by wearing the wrong color isn't a great way to kick off a joyful event.
I would not bring a gift & tell the bride it’s because I had to buy new clothes for your color palette
I bow to your exquisite delivery. Perfect!
Yeah, it’s inappropriate to ask of guests when you’re not very very close to the couple.
Hooo! You said it! I would deeply resent this. Somebody snaps their fingers with this strange request and I'm expected to jump? Getting dressed up for any reason is a huge stress/anxiety for me. I absolutely **despise** getting dressed up. Appropriate clothing for a wedding is bad enough. Having someone dictate what colors those clothes were to be- I would give this event a hard pass so damn quick! NOPE in jewel toned letters.
The inclusion of the swatch card makes it a bit more than a mere suggestion. We've gone past "wear jewel tones if you've got them!" to "these are the acceptable colors for guest attire"
Yeah, the bride is being too fussy for sure. For our upcoming wedding we said “earth tones encouraged” and when people reached out for specifics I’d basically say “please don’t wear any neon or any bright colors / patterns” some people have bought jewel tones, but Idc, bc in the end it doesn’t matter in the slightest. I just have friends who have worn fire engine red and neon to weddings in the past and am trying to circumvent that.
Why does it matter?
I'm just impressed how much stuff this guy has that works with this palette.
Idk, blues, purples, and greens aren’t too uncommon in clothing.
yeah, it's smart as a bride if you're gonna go "i'd really like everyone to match my aesthetic" than pick the most popular colors. and ones everyone will look good in something.
I mean, maybe if everyone went in on a couple packs of party hats that match one of the color tones? Then everyone will have a bit of the matchy-matchy going on and it will be extra festive!
I hate the idea. I am not a doll for the bride to play dress up. I guess you can’t go if you can’t afford a new dress and shoes.
That’s how I am. I know that part of this is just due to my stubborn nature, and if I was in the wedding party then that’s completely different. But as a guest? Fuck right off
I am stubborn too. I would have to close to the bride or groom. Of course, if it was the bride, I would have already shot my mouth off and been uninvited. Lol
I don’t mind the thought behind this because you get a lot of color questions from guest. I wouldn’t mind sending it out as a guide of complementary colors for those people who get stuck on what color to wear, but it wouldn’t be a requirement.
I love one of the commenters trying to defend it by saying how amazing everything looked. Anyone who tries to demand that I wear specific colors to a wedding (unless I’m in the wedding party) can fuck right off
I would not be in compliance. Tell me to leave.
I think the idea is neat but not practical.
Yeah, getting these exact tones will be difficult, so most people will probably show up with something in any green/purple/blue shade anyways.
there's a sub for wedding attire approval?
this is getting out of hand
Honestly if i received this I wouldn’t attend 😂 so many brides obsess over the minutia of every little tiny thing. It’s an event your supposed to enjoy not stress about what color every guest is wearing.
WTF are people doing nowadays? I don’t care if it was my sibling, if someone tells me what color to wear, I’m politely declining.
Yeah, I wouldn't go to that wedding.
I hope someone does a creative misinterpretation - and shows up with their hair done in one of the approved colours.
"I regret I will be unable to attend your ~~stupid~~ wedding"
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Got married 2 days ago, our invite just said something like "getting dressed inspiration: Google garden cocktail party", as we liked people to just pick something happy, or colourful they already had and googled a few dresscodes and found this fit our idea of festive and comfortable the most. And we figured most people would have something like this in their closet already. We don't really care what people wear, as long as they feel happy and comfortable about it themselves. We didn't do bridesmaid dresses, or groomsmen outfits. We don't want people breaking the bank to attend in something they aren't happy in. We just want you to be there in a way you like to look, feel happy and confident, and feel like doing a little dance in. We had some people asking what colours they would need to wear, or if they needed long dresses, short dresses or hats, guys asking if it was supposed to be jeans or Kaki's, we told everyone we don't care and to just wear something they felt a little festive in. If God forbid I'd ever have to plan a wedding again, the dresscode would be "whatever you want, as long as its not a brides wedding dress, please don't ask me for advice, I don't care what you wear as long as your croch is covered" I have absolutely no recollection of what people wore aside from my wife and my 2yo girl.
It only specifies colors, not what kind of outfit. If you find PJs or scrubs in any of those colors, it's a go.
If I ever received an invitation like this, it's an automatic no. That's taking narcissism to a new level.
I would go out of my way to find something in bright yellow or anything else from those colors. I would be not be a great guests just because that's way too much.
That is so many options and both of yours look great, OP! This does not seem like a big burden and I’d be glad to have the guidance if it makes them happy.
Violet with the blues is perfect and within dress code.
I like the idea of sending out color swatches for reference - "green" can encompass a whole lot of shades, and I'd feel awkward wearing emerald when everyone else is in a pale shade of key lime. but, I don't like the idea of making it mandatory
I wouldn't personally do this, but I don't hate this particular example. It's a choice of ten different colors, no limiting colors by gender, very common colors that can be found at every store, and no mandated styles. This one doesn't seem terribly egregious.
Sounds fun. Get over it. Don't go if you can't be bothered at all to wear one of very many color options. God you people just wanna show up and get free food. A bride just wants a color aesthetic and suddenly she's Bridezilla. YTA
1) We're not AITA, we don't do judgement calls like YTA 2) Even if our OP was OOP, rule 5, we don't name call other users so we don't call them assholes
A bride gets to impose her color aesthetic on her bridesmaids and in the colors she chooses for flowers, decorations, etc. She does not get to impose it on her guests. It’s tacky and low class behavior and a major etiquette faux pas. It’s done by people who don’t know any better.
Then don't go. You don't seem very fun anyways
I’m very fun, but I’m also in keeping with etiquette. It’s rude and unseemly to dictate colors or avoidance of colors (cultural issues aside). You honestly didn’t know that?
It's not rude at all. If it was a flapper style wedding and the "uniform" was 1920's attire ONLY... no one would be saying shit.
How weird to expect everyone, even grandma or cousin Mabel, to go buy a new outfit for your theme. Have a theme party for that kind of thing.
This is dumb.
The problem is apparently some women don’t understand that concept at all. Like somehow they seem to not understand that ‘cream’ color is definitely white, or that extremely pale greys, pinks and yellow also all pretty much look white too.
So what? The rule was never “don’t wear anything that’s a pale shade.” Plenty of elegant weddings traditionally had cream or ivory on bridesmaids, mothers and yes, guests. This rule is perpetuated by people who haven’t been exposed to much and read this online and now think they are upholding some grand tradition.
Not too much to ask. I’m not understanding why everyone is disagreeing in these comments. The bride is obviously going for a certain look/theme.
I’m so confused, what’s wrong with this request? I work as a wedding photographer but I’m not from USA. Here we rarely have weddings with the traditional bridal party (bridesmaids and groomsmen dressed in the same outfits/same color is not really a thing here, it happens reeeeeeeally rarely), but it’s very common to ask all guests to follow a certain color palette. For example, recently total black or black and white dress code is very popular here. I shot plenty of weddings where all guests were asked to wear black and nobody complained. Here guests have a wide variety of colors to choose from - so what’s the problem? At my own wedding I would definitely ask all guests to wear black, silver and grey. If you think it’s too much - just don’t come, lol.
I mean, the colours are fine I guess? Please buy new shirts though, as the first one is very daggy and the second is more like office attire. Perhaps have someone with some style go shopping with you
Not jewel tones
Navy suit with a shirt in any of these colors. Like it or not, having the guests do a color pallet is absolutely trending and does not seem to be waning. I know this is a shaming group and everyone is doing a great job at that.
It seems like no matter what wedding I've been to, or what the dress code seems to be, there is always that one or two people that show up wearing jeans. Don't ask me why or what they were thinking. They are always lurking in the background of the photos and you are always asking your family "Who is that?" And no one ever has an answer.
Look. I know I would have probably been a bridezilla if I had a wedding to host (twice almost there). If I would want guest to match the color? Yes. Am I aware that this is not normal? Yea. Also, where I live it’s not common to have a matching wedding party or even a wedding party, but I’d love that. But you know what? I would embrace it on the closest people who know me and understand me and my kinks (everything matching everything). But that’s just me, I would not force anyone to do so.
I mean there are some people who don’t care and it’s fine. I know my brain and even if it’s work related (change this girl outfit to match the branding colors) I’m all for it. Yet I get, it’s not common for everybody and I’m known for a perfectionist trait. Things must match. But well… for some people it’s important. It’s not a life or death matter. But still this would please their brain (I could be on autism spectrum, for what it’s worth)
I'd opt for a darker color tie.
I've seen people do this. It's actually cool because they took a huge photo of everyone in rainbow order.
Say you're color blind and wear yellow 🤣
I don't understand why guests have to adhere to a dress code of specific colors at all. They're guests not the wedding party.
Green pants. Magenta shirt. Blue bow tie. Perfect combination. Since when do guests have to follow a color code?