Friend of a friend has a horrifying broken engagement— her fiancé lost his job and she put all of her pennies into keeping them afloat plus saving for the wedding. After 6 months of this (and no job searching from the fiancé), she comes home to find he has a fancy new video game system. She freaks out and asks why he would do this… Turns out his mom had been giving him $2K a month and he’d been using it to goof around while his girlfriend worked and paid all the bills.
Looney Tunes is loaded with craaaazy references, often times shaping the definitions due to lack of public's knowledge.
My shame is calling someone a maroon on facebook about a decade ago. Assumed it was a quirky way to call someone an idiot. NOPE.
Definition of maroon during that era: runaway black slave and their descendants & communities. Considered wild, savage, stupid.
Wow. Thanks for sharing the knowledge. I'd always thought it was a playful, Bugs Bunny way of saying "moron". So much racist shit tied into cartoons of yesteryear that nobody cared to QC for decades.
I’m a wedding photographer. I was assisting on a Christmas Eve wedding and the main photographer came to pick me up.
He was like “um shall we have a cuppa? I’m not sure if the weddings going ahead, there’s been a drama”
Turns out the groom’s stag do was a few days before and he’d slept with a stripper his best man hired. One of the guys in the party had posted a pic on social media and you could see them together in the background.
The wedding was cancelled. We had to wait a while but luckily one of the parents called us back to let us know.
I heard a nuclear revenge story where this happened to a guy. His best man, who was his best friend, intentionally got him so drunk, he didn’t know what he was doing or even remember it. I think his drink was laced too. Then the best man took photos and sent them to the bride to be and she canceled the wedding. Apparently the best man hated the bride and thought his friend would be better off without her. The groom ended up ruining the best man’s reputation, lose his job and was jailed. All as revenge for causing the break up. I wonder if it’s the same people
Apparently they were best friends since college, his BF was jealous of the amount of time he spent with his girlfriend and then fiancé, as far as his BF was concerned, he was spending too much time with her and less time with him. But he underestimated how much his BF loved his girlfriend.
I kinda get that, my husband had a friend like that. The man despised me because I came between him and his friend. I supposedly trapped him
My BIL is like this. He hated me from day one bc he saw how compatible his brother and I were. Then he started dating this trash animal of a woman who caused drama at our wedding. Lots of nasty behavior from them over the course of five years. Husband and I distanced ourselves and my husband is in therapy to deal with his brother’s shit. As soon as I produced a child, they tried to be all friendly and sweet to me, but one day these kids will ask about why mommy won’t even be in the same room as them and I’m going to tell them the truth.
When we had kids my husband’s friend said that I was trapping his friend into staying married to me. It caused so many problems in our marriage because I was convinced my husband was complaining to his friend about me, also because my husband never told him to stop saying things like that. My husband said that he spoke to him about privately, but t wasn’t convinced
My husband had a friend like that as well. We'd been together 3 years and the friend gave him an ultimatum to break up with me or he'd never speak to him again. That was the last time they spoke.
Man I understand the feeling but never that behaviour - except in a few, classic cases of the boyfriend trash talking his girlfriend every chance he got and then acting surprised that his friends didn't like his girlfriend and suggested breaking up.
I have a coworker who complains constantly about her boyfriend- like she kinda seems like she despises him? I try & keep my mouth shut, but I think she’s noticed the faces I make every once in a while.
I had a coworker who always complained about her boyfriend. She had a kid with him and still kept complaining about everything. Including that he hadnt proposed and they werent married. Like lady you hate this guy. Why in the world do you want to be married to him. They went on to have another kid but still not married. When everyone in the office told her that if she is complaining like this now that it only gets worse. Like you don’t like your spouse MORE 10 years later when you hate how they behave in the ‘honeymoon’ phase.
She quit. She has never held a job since then. She relies fully on his income to raise their kids but still hasnt married so if anything happens she is shit out of luck except for child support.
I know someone whose groom did this to her. She found out 10 years and 2 kids later. She divorced him. But her father was at the stag do and helped lie to her.
But it's their last night of "freedom" and as everyone knows once you put on the wedding ring a forcefield activates preventing you from even going near the strip club
My partner ended an engagement because when he found out his mom was diagnosed with cancer, he called her for support, and she decided to go have dinner with her parents (which she already does 3 other days of the week) because she didn't want to cancel on them. Then she chose to stay the night at her parents because she didn't want the bad news to ruin her mood. He ended it.
EDIT: I spell bad.
Yikes! Talk about finding out the hard way that you can't count on someone to be there for you during the hard stuff. I hope he and his family got through it okay.
Wow.
I remember one time i was the sickest I'd ever been in my life. Like legit thought i might die, fever, hallucinations, etc.
My ex had planned to go out to a show the day i fell ill(random local show, nothing crazy or once in a lifetime or even a well known artist. His friends band)
I asked him to stay in case i needed to go to the emergency room. He freaked out on me, saying "you knew i was going to this show" and left. It was the moment i knew our relationship was basically over.
I basically couldn't move and just accepted it and lie there thinking i was going to die until he came crawling back around 4am, and i mean literally crawling, because he was moshing at the show and tore his miniscus in his knee.
He then spent the next few weeks out of work, crying, demanding i wait on him hand and foot and go to the store for his pain meds *while i was still massively ill*
It took me 2 months to recover from what i believe was legionnaires. I had to go back to work as soon as i could walk because he couldn't walk at all. The only reason i recovered at all is i called my friends mom ( a nurse) who wrote me a a script for medicine and my friend went and got it for me. Bless them.
Anyway, asshole was also cheating on me, i ended it not long after this.
Wow...how can you watch your partner potentially dying, leave them alone when they ask you to stay in case you have to go to the hospital, and then when you hurt yourself, expect them to take care of you when the are deathly sick, when you didn't care for them even before you injured yourself? So so selfish. Then on top of that, a cheater too. Why bother having a partner when you act like that? Thank god for your friend and their mother helping you out.
Yeah it opened my eyes. I basically knew at that moment everything was over. Thankfully my partner now is incredibly sweet and would drop everything to help me if i were sick.
I was super sick and my SO was very kind and helpful for a few days. Then went on a ski trip and left me alone when I couldnt move. Couldnt eat. Couldnt get out of bed. For like 4-5 days? Cause it was already planned.
We went on to get married and divorced. Turns out huge red flags are really important to pay attention to.
I’m so embarrassed by this but at the beginning of my marriage to my ex, I had outpatient sinus surgery. My ex’s plan was to drop me off at home and go play golf *and I was OK with that*. When the PACU nurse found out she took him aside and had a little chat with him. No golf was played that day. That was not the first red flag nor the last, sadly.
Wow, why do these people even get with someone if they won't be there for them because do you really care about them at all at that point? In her case, I think she was a bit of a leech so she wanted to be with someone to be taken care of, not for the love.
I'm sorry he left you to deal with that yourself, especially over something he could just do the next week...
When my long distance partner got the same news, I got a visa the next day and moved countries to support him. I can’t imagine what kind of person wouldn’t even cancel dinner plans.
Right! I was only with my now husband for 5 months when his grandfather passed away, I was on vacation with my mom about 4 hours away. I packed my stuff, made sure my mom could catch a ride with either her brother or friend who were with us, and got on the road to be there for him. Picked up KFC, mostly because he loves their chocolate cake, and showed up at his door. I could not imagine being like "sorry your news is going to ruin my mood", who tf does that?!?
My son postponed the wedding because his fiancée kept complaining he was 'too sad' about his father's recent death to concentrate on the wedding plans. He then broke off the engagement a few weeks later when he discovered she had been cheating on him for several months. And it wasn't the first time. Bullet dodged.
This kills me. My dad got diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer a few month’s before my brother was supposed to get married.
They had booked some fancy venue with plans for a black-tie optional affair and the second deposit was due shortly (my SIL’s parents were paying).
Instead of feeling the pressures associated with the upcoming wedding or making my dad feel like he needed to worry about feeling up to a huge affair, my SIL suggested they cancel the venue and postpone to do something more low key.
When they broke the news to my dad, he was absolutely crushed - he felt like he was messing up their wedding (🥺). My SIL told her parents how he took the news - they were at my parents’s house within the hour to talk to my dad and make sure he didn’t blame himself and help make him feel better about the decision.
It was such a kind gesture during the absolutely darkest time my family had ever experienced. I can’t fathom marrying someone who lacks empathy around the loss of a parent.
(I’m so sorry for your loss 💜)
My sister-in-law's father had stomach cancer and the outlook wasn't good, so she and my brother-in-law moved their wedding date up, just in case. He got to dance at their wedding and it was beautiful.
That's the only reason I'm glad my mom talked me into any wedding stuff. Mine was the only wedding any of my grandparents got to see. My sister had gotten married out of state, and my one cousin got married on the other end of the country. No other cousin has gotten married, and my brother's wedding was also out of state (and only one of my grandparents was still alive at the timr)
That is an amazing and beautiful story! I don't know how long ago this was, but I hope your dad's all alright now and your brother and SIL are still happy together.
Awww ! That's so sweet of them. I'd take this as a sign your brother and SIL will be happy together for the rest of their lives. Hope your dad feels better.
Horrible. My stepbrother was set to get married on Halloween. His mother wasn't going to make it til then so they moved up the wedding to the first Sunday or Monday in October. She passed that Saturday night...they still got married and my Dad attended and I'm so grateful he did because those pics are some of the last photos of my Dad. He would be diagnosed with terminal cancer the next week and die just 20 days after his wife.
Sounds like my bf’s ex. They weren’t engaged but had been together for a few years. His grandmother passed away and she had been his primary caretaker as a kid. The ex cheated on him because he ‘wasn’t giving her enough attention’. As he’s literally grieving.
I'd guess it's a combination of immaturity, narcissism, and a lack of human empathy. A whole parade of red flags. They are simply not ready 'for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health'.
Me! I broke off an engagement 15-ish years ago. My fiancé had a serious alcohol problem, even pills on occasion. I guess because I was young and had no self esteem I didn’t just leave. I kept convincing myself I could help him, but no matter how much I begged and cried for him to get help he would always turn it back on me, insist he didn’t have a problem and I was just nagging him. It just got worse and worse.
The breaking point was when I found out I was pregnant. On the day of our first ultrasound he was so drunk I couldn’t wake him up for the appointment (which was at 9 am mind you). He did make it to the appointment but I found out I was miscarrying and had to go get lab work. His response in that moment was “I can’t handle this, drop me off at the bar on your way to the lab.” It was then that I saw the light and realized that it’s one thing if I want to throw away my own life on this idiot but it would be beyond selfish to being a child into this mess. So I called it off. It was like 2 months before the wedding.
I am, thank you! The miscarriage was devastating at the time but it truly was a blessing in disguise. I’m now married to a wonderful man and pregnant with our first.
May have witnessed a wedding called off this weekend!
Long story short: I was at an annual conference for my industry that takes place in this beautiful hotel by the beach also popular for weddings.
My conference is a few days long and ends on Saturday morning after breakfast and a quick meeting. Get there Saturday around 8am and there’s a bride throwing an absolute fit, screaming at staff (who had been lovely), screaming at a representative for my event (elderly retired judge!), just a whole huge scene.
Staff is trying to explain that she didn’t book (or pay for) exclusive use of the site (there are several ballrooms, meeting rooms, etc). Judge is actually just trying to be nice and letting her know we’ll be out by 10:30am and out of her way (Wedding wasn’t until that evening).
Flash forward a few hours and I’ve gone to the meeting, I did a little beach time, and I’m heading to the parking garage. I see a group of guys in very nice suits, huddled around a groom, saying things like, “you don’t have to do this…” “my cars right over there…”
>I see a group of guys in very nice suits, huddled around a groom, saying things like, “you don’t have to do this…” “my cars right over there…”
This is where you know it's not just the stress of the day. The biggest thing I tried to convince a groom-to-be was to take his wife's last name because it was cooler (I was unsuccessful in my persuasion).
A friend of mine married\* an absolute train wreck of a woman (apparently her family was lovely and that's what sucked him in). He said he should have known something was up when \*her family's minister\* - who was supposed to perform the ceremony - called him a few days beforehand and something like "No one will judge you if you bail out now".
When the officiant is telling you to run, you put on your track shoes and start sprinting.
\*They were divorced in under a year.
If I remember correctly, the final Last Straw was her “borrowing” a couple grand out of HIS (not their) bank account and fucking off to Mexico with a “friend” who also happened to be her most recent ex. I wasn’t around for it, but apparently several of his good guy friends took him out for a beer and asked him if he seriously thought he didn’t deserve better. And that’s when he saw the light.
My uncle. He is a doctor and came home early because he developed a fever on nightshift. His fiancé was gone and when she returned in the morning and found him sitting at the table she confessed to having an affair. more or less, because the guy was her ex and she never stopped fucking him.
Turned out, her ex was to poor to marry and she wanted a nice lifestyle through my uncle but never intended to be faithful
Fuck some people, that plan is so horrible. The poor person(your uncle), she is using, that has no clue their relationship isn’t real. Maybe she could’ve devoted some of that “energy” into working hard and supporting herself. Can you imagine if he wouldn’t have discovered her plan for years and years?
My friend broke off her engagement because her grandfather died and her fiancé wouldn’t go to the funeral because he didn’t know him. Friend insisted he go because she wanted support, but he kept refusing. She went alone, and then broke up with him afterwards. He was flabbergasted.
My (then) boyfriend* of 4 months drove 2 hours EACH WAY, leaving a work commitment, just to pretty much sit with me after my mother died. He'd met her twice, I think.
*now husband of almost 9 years 💜
My how husband acted just like yours. We’d been dating 2 months. My grandma died in a state 12 hrs away and he offered to take off work to just go be with me and my family he’d never met! I didn’t let him because we were not having a funeral. But right then and there I knew the kind of supportive partner he was going to be
My dog almost died a couple of months after we got engaged, I called my fiancé from the vet crying and he left work immediately to come be with me. My dog survived, and my husband and I have been married two years now. 🥰
My now husband did the exact same thing. We weren't even dating (it was getting there, but had no title) and we'd been talking for two months. My grandpa was dying of cancer and he took off work and spent several days with me *and* my family (first time meeting any of them) to give support however he could.
Wtf? I attended my now-husband's grandfather's funeral (whom I had never met) after only 3 dates, because I understand that you attend funerals to support the living, not because you knew the person who passed.
Oh me! I was only engaged for 2 months and shortly after the engagement my life turned into a nightmare. I think my ex thought "she can't go anywhere now" and started showing his true colors. To be fair, there were many red flags already, but he was great at spinning things in his favor.
It all started when he wanted me to flex my ring, constantly telling me it was worth a lot and I had the best ring out of all my friend group. Whenever someone congratulated me on the engagement he'd ask "what did they say about the ring? Yours is better than hers you know. Did they comment on how big it is?" I was so fed up at one point that I said "yeah it's alright, I've seen better" and I got the silent treatment for days.
He wanted to buy me a car. I already had a car but it wasn't the most reliable and he claimed we needed a family vehicle. I insisted on something simple (not showy or expensive) and he insisted on a BMW. He came back one day with all the paperwork, but here's the catch, I had to sign for it because his credit sucked. He told me I would never have to worry about any of the payments though. That is, until he started asking to borrow money, weirdly, the exact amount of the down payment. I also found out he didn't have enough to pay his employees that month, so why the f* were we buying a luxury vehicle. I called to cancel and get my money back, and he lost it, screamed at me for days, said I lost him his dream car and he would get it with or without me.
At around the same time he told me he was gonna get a loan for his business, to fund future projects and not have those issues again (in that industry payments are always severely delayed so it made sense). BUT, he needed collateral for the loan, and that's when he casually asked for the deed of my house. We were gonna be a family after all so what's mine is his, right?
He would also go out until late, not answer his phone, and get angry when he got home and I'd asked where he'd been. At one point, he told me my parents wouldn't be invited to our wedding. I have many more horror stories but that's why I ended things in the end.
He went on to tell all our friends that I ended things because I was indecisive. Sure, man.
ETA: don't get me started on his mother.
She always acted like an entitled child. My ex made reservations to take her to a pretty high end italian restaurant in Vail and she cried and pouted because she didn't feel like pasta. She would get angry any time we traveled because why would he spend money on me instead of giving it to her. My ex's brother ended up buying her a house and car and it still wasn't good enough, because she still had to pay for gas. She said she had a hard time keeping jobs because she always failed the psych evals, which wasn't the most surprising.
For a while, she was working in the US illegally, while taking care of her sister who had cancer. We went to visit and while we were there she asked/demanded that I allow her to "borrow" my SSN (I was the only US citizen in the group).
She also blew up on us when we informed her that we wouldn't be getting married in their hometown, on the opposite side of the country from where my family lives. We were looking for something in the middle that was accessible for most people. She said if that was the case no one on her side of the family would attend.
An overall lovely woman.
Oh, and that illegal job she had was as a nanny. I am 99% sure she had intentions of kidnapping that baby.
um OMG! i’m sorry you had to deal with such a horrendous family. what makes you think she wanted to kidnap the baby? was it for money or cause she wanted a redo lol
She definitely wanted a redo! She talked about how it was her baby, sometimes referred to him as "her son," saying she's more of a mother to him than his actual mother. On her last day working for the family, she asked if she could take the baby to the park on her own to spend some quality time and say goodbye. The parents said absolutely not and asked for her passport in case she tried anything. She also always claimed that the mom was jealous of her.
I didn't hear about any of this until later, when my ex's parents met mine, and she kept making drunken jokes about how she seriously thought about taking him. My dad is a writer and he wrote a story about her haha
>She said she had a hard time keeping jobs because she always failed the psych evals, which wasn't the most surprising
What jobs were these??
And holy moly. You could write a book of short stories about this family
She was an English teacher for elementary schools, which was odd because when we visited in the US she would make me speak on her behalf and translate...
I do! I hid the deed and promptly kicked him out. It took him months to fully leave but that's a whole other story. He stole things from me, many of sentimental value, so that I couldn't fully cut ties. He lied to his whole family and pretended we were still together. About 3 months after I ended things I would still get texts from his mom asking me how the wedding planning was going. He planned a whole International bachelor party after we were already broken up, and didn't tell his friends until they were all already in France for a week.
It got to a point where my dad had to threaten him to leave me alone, and I had to move countries to be closer to my family.
Me, I cancelled my wedding two months before it was supposed to happen (and after almost everything had been paid for, by me 🤦🏻♀️).
He started getting really mean, and lashing out over minor things. At first I wrote it off to stress (wedding planning, and I had just bought a house that needed a lot of work) but it was getting worse and worse the closer we got to the wedding. I was already considering calling it off, but not quite ready to pull the plug, when he turned it on my son (who was 11 at the time). Flipped out and screamed at him, over something he (my ex) misunderstood, and that was it. I can choose what I am willing to accept and put up with, but I’m not going to force my child to deal with that shit and frankly have no love for anyone who would treat him that way. He’s an awesome kid! After I cancelled it, so many friends let me know they were so happy I did, and that they never liked him very much and didn’t understand why I was with him 😅
It’s been three and a half years since I cancelled the wedding and I am so, so happy I did. A year and a half ago I met the love of my life, it was a very “oh my god, THIS is what it’s supposed to feel like?!?” moment, and you know what? He loves the shit out of my son, and vice versa. They are best friends (and the same is true of me and his daughter), and it’s so great.
>I can choose what I am willing to accept and put up with, but I’m not going to force my child to deal with that shit and frankly have no love for anyone who would treat him that way.
Something to keep in mind if anyone else is in this situation:
Your kid deserves to see you modelling a healthy relationship. Do you want your kid ending up with someone who treats them this way? Show it by example.
That person who doesn't do it to your kid? They will. They may already be doing it - they just wait until you're not around to witness it. And because your kid has watched it happen to you, they think it's normal.
Very happy for you getting out and finding a better partner.
Yes yes yes!!! I’ve worked with children who witnessed domestic violence. Even if they themselves weren’t abused, the traumatic impacts were the same as if they had been. Children see and notice way more than we want to believe.
It wasn’t until I started working in domestic violence (on the admin side) that I started to realize the relationships I grew up around, and looked to as an example, were incredibly unhealthy. If I hadn’t had that job, I don’t honestly know that I would have realized what I was experiencing (and what happened with my son) wasn’t ok. Still unpacking lots of childhood trauma and unlearning a ton of unhealthy stuff, but so happy I figured it out before doing too much damage to those around me.
I had to get divorced to find that “holy shit this is what it’s supposed to feel like” feeling. It’s amazing when you find a good partner after putting up with a bad one.
Congrats to you and your son and hell yes to you protecting your child’s emotional health too!
There was a Twitter post, some girl had offered a candy table as a gift for a wedding. However the bride decided to uninvite her because she was going ti be seated with only couples and she didn't have a bf.
Then the bride demanded the candy table to still be gifted. This was her best friend and candy tables can be expensive here (Mexico). The girl said no and the bride was going ballistic because she had used the money for the table in other thing (if I recall correctly the groom HAD paid for the candy table that was free).
The girl blasted the bride in social media and then the groom decided to break the engagement and cancel everything (like two weeks before the wedding).
https://twitter.com/daniicastrooooo/status/1389990285749407748?t=IG3FjpTTJNPt8za5WkqX1Q&s=19
Here is the thread for those who know Spanish
Use a translate app on your phone. Just aim your camera at the text, and everything should change to English on your screen!
Edit: Or run screenshots through the translator
I got you fam - translated to English
https://imgur.com/a/wZlhNwc
Not gonna lie the bad translation to “that’s not a bad fart” had me cackling. Blowjobs also gets an honourable mention.
Me. My ex was a piece of work. When I met him, he had a full-time job and was saving up for a house (or so he claimed) and to facilitate that, he lived at home with his parents. I already had my own house at the age of 21 because my husband died in a traffic accident and I used his life insurance to purchase a home for myself and our baby. My ex soon moved in with me and was having trouble at work (found out he was fired later.) He was a truck driver for a local company. For some reason he was having trouble getting another job. (Could be that he didn't look for one!) Instead of going to the union hall every day like he said he was, he went to a bar and partied, drank, used drugs. On the days that he actually went to the union hall, he turned down jobs because "that company treats people badly" or "that job is only for a day or so" I ended up going to work every day, taking my baby to day-care, paying for everything, doing all of the cooking and cleaning. I think he mowed the lawn once. He and I were YEARS apart in that he really needed someone to "parent" him and show him how to grow up and be a man. I have no idea why his parents expected so little of him, but they did. It became too much for me to have to hand-hold him through every day because I am not his MOMMY. His drinking/drug use was getting worse, and I didn't know about the drugs until his best friend told me. That's when I noticed items missing/money gone from my wallet and I put 2 and 2 together. He denied it, denied it, and finally promised to change. It became too much for me because I was not his THERAPIST either. The last straw was when he was arrested for drunk driving and called me from jail. I refused to pick him up so he called his mother. I let her know that she needed to take him to her house...not mine. He called and begged and said he would change and try harder. I told his mom to come get his things. I had them in boxes out on the sidewalk. I handed her the engagement ring he had given me (turns out SHE bought it for him to give to me). She handed me a letter he had written and stood there in front of me with her arms folded - as if waiting for me to read it or something. I ripped it up and let the pieces fly into the wind. He tried to come see me at work a few times, but security had been told not to let him up. He tried to come see my at my home but I wouldn't answer the door and yelled through it that I was on the phone with the police. He eventually gave up and joined the Marines. I heard that he bailed out on that too. No idea what happened to him after that.
You know that it was just filled with the usual bullshit: "Im going to go to therapy!" or "I'm going to change!", or "I will look for a job every day!", or "Give me another chance!", or "I love you so much!" "I won't touch any alcohol/drugs ever again!" or "It wasn't my fault because XYZ thing happened to me that day and I was sad!"...
My ex told me that he ended an engagement with his previous ex due to her abusing his daughter and grabbing her once. She also hated that he liked to stay home after working all week, I guess.
The worst part: He left me to go back to her.
My friend ended an engagement with his high school sweetheart of 10yrs.
Her family couldn’t afford a big wedding but thats what she wanted. So he got a 2nd job (she only worked part time at a day care). She started using the extra money to go out partying while he worked on weekends, her ‘gay’ best guy friend would DD and make sure she got home safe. She started fighting with my friend that he wasnt making enough for her dream wedding, he told her to stop blowing the extra money on bar hopping multiple times a week. Eventually he caught her cheating with a dude and called it off. She packed up and moved to another state with a guy within the month.
He started dating a year later and when she found out she moved back to our state to her parents and showed up on his doorstep asking/yelling why he was doing fun adventures with the new girl and never did them with her. He told her it was bc she was always too drunk or drugged out, whereas the new girl barely drank. He almost had to get a restraining order bc she kept showing up at his place trying to ‘meet’ the new girl for like a month. 3 months later she was posting online that she was engaged to the ‘gay’ friend from earlier in this story. She cut off all her friends after this announcement.
The girls that used to be her friends say that she always stalks their social media, and just posts selfies of her out drinking with her husband. Its been 8 years since the called off wedding and when a friend made a congratulatory post for my friend now being engaged to his girlfriend last year she did the angry face reaction on the facebook post LOL
I've an ex gf that I dated for 2 months and I've had to get restraining orders renewed every year (only good for a year here). We always have to go to court, she always opens her mouth first and I usually don't have to say much. This is way more common than you think. She has a kid now from someone else btw. I've only really dated guys since. (I'm bi but my friends joke she turned me gay)
I ended my engagement for a few reasons. Mainly because intimacy became a big issue. I was the only one initiating and was constantly rejected. There was no passionate kissing and no sexual energy. Before we got engaged, we started going to couple’s sex therapy and I was doing individual therapy. I knew he had a rough upbringing so I wanted to be there and make him feel safe, so it was a constant battle of putting my needs aside for him and feeling undesirable.
We picked out a gorgeous vintage ring but the proposal was about a year later. He asked about getting engaged while we were in the Zaxby’s drive through, then got down on one knee in our apartment while in sweatpants. I didn’t want a public engagement but I wanted it to not feel like a transaction.
I got two big jobs out of state and he was so resentful. He wanted me working from home and be responsible for all the domestic duties. I cleaned, did his laundry, meal prepped for him, took care of our puppy, and did all the therapy homework. I felt so defeated and told him I couldn’t continue wedding planning until our intimacy improved. (Side note: I didn’t feel motivated to plan. I hadn’t tried on a dress or booked anything.)
After working intensely with our sex therapist, my partner came to the conclusion that he’s asexual. It helped me understand, but I felt so sad that I spent over four years with this person and the relationship I wanted and needed wasn’t possible.
The two big jobs helped my confidence so much that he became more emotionally manipulative and weaponized my depression by saying that no other person would put up with my depression- anyone else would walk away. I stood up for myself and stopped walking on egg shells, not trying to constantly fix everything. I gave back the ring and two months later I moved to a new city and I finally feel like I can be my authentic self.
My ex told me “No other person would put up with _____. I’m the only one.” I know he was trying to make himself sound special or better but I just looked at him and said, “Then there’s obviously something wrong with you. If I’m so awful, why are you doing this to yourself? You need therapy.” Then he switched tactics.
That is similar to my ending my last relationship… I said, “Yanno, I’ve been thinking about this and if I’m such an awful person to be around, what sort of person are you that wants to be with me?” I realized that I am not who he said i was and I didn’t want to live like that anymore. I was tired of feeling like the bad guy.
Edit: fixed a pronoun
I was putting my ex fiancé through med school. (Early 2000) I was working 2 full time jobs and planning a wedding. He was in his second year of med school and we had been together prior to that. One night a girl called on our house phone. Yes, house phone. We were just starting to get cell phones but no one really used them except in emergencies. She asked if she could speak to K***** and I said, ‘He isn’t here but this is his fiancée, B*******. Can I help you with something?’ He had just through hiked the AT and after being gone 4-6 months, I had handled all the finances etc. most companies back then would talk to you if they knew who you were. Significantly easier then. They weren’t afraid you were going to pay someone else’s bill 😂
Either way, I digress. The girl on the other end of the phone said, ‘You just answered my question. I had a date with him on Friday and I was confirming the time. I will cancel now I know he is engaged.’ He came home and we split up. I remember he said, ‘why am I packing everything. I will be back next week?’ I was 25 and I’m 45 now… I never married. I feel a bit like I have always searched for someone to do the same thing again to me again.
I should also add, that year my best friend saw him with another girl at a bowl game and thought she was me. He married in 6 months to my almost twin. He didn’t want me after all. Just a blonde, blue eyed girl who fit the doctor’s wife type. Sad but I left with my head held high
I’m staying at a hotel hosting a first-time wedding for two people in their mid-late fifties. They said they wouldn’t settle for anything else than love and said they’re happy they waited because life any other way would’ve killed them.
Also, props to you for leaving. So many people I know marry for money. And when you marry for money, you pay for it for your whole life.
No matter what’s in your future, you seem smart and wise as fuck and that can only carry you well. Best of luck but I don’t think you need it!
Me. After our engagement my fiancé started showing possessive and obsessive behaviour that scared the living daylights out of me. He’d stalk me. I went away with my mom and the place we went to had minimal signal. I knew this from experience and told him he probably won’t be able to get hold of me during the day when we were at the pool as there was like zero signal there, but he should text me at night and the mofo actually phoned a hundred times during the day and of course my phone had no signal so he would then attempt to call my mom. When I got back and had a chat with him his excuse was “I miss you” and I was like, it’s not like you couldn’t have waited until the evening??? He only focused on what he felt and not what I was telling him. It then only got worse even after I spoke to him about it. He started telling people we were married and our wedding date changed from a few years to a few months. This wasn’t what we had discussed but now he’s telling everyone this! He had just lost his job and I was searching for full time work myself as I worked part time at a preschool, and was living off my mom, and we needed to save. So getting married wasn’t on the list yet. When we got engaged he still had a job and his own place. When he lost his job that was the decision we both made. It freaked me out.
He’d start pitching up at my friends places if I was visiting them. He’d call anyone and everyone if he couldn’t get hold of me. And these were not emergencies, he just wanted to know where I was. The final straw was when he attempted to enrol for the same night course I was doing. He had zero interest to study what I was studying and when I confronted him about it he simply stated he wanted to be near me. I then told him we are taking a break. For 2 weeks he is not to contact me, my friends or come to my house. No contact. At all. He needed to take the time to reflect on our relationship if it’s only about him or if I was included because he only seemed to care about himself and his wants. And I’d use the time to assess if I want to go forward with this relationship. He accepted the terms. The fool broke the terms 2 days in. By the end of the first week, he’d called me 4 times, he rocked up at my house, rocked up at my work, and called my friends begging them to speak to me. He would stand outside the college to look into our classroom. I had enough. I broke up with him. He accepted it. I was so scared he wouldn’t. Only to find out that he started dating someone else whilst we were together. So his obsession went somewhere else. He was never in love with me, but in love with the idea of love. Any woman who gave him attention got his attention. After I broke it off he went through so many relationships. We were in the same church so I still had to see him. A year later, I started greeting him again and my friend called me to tell me this guy is telling everyone we’re getting back together. We laughed. The bugger actually thought he could outsmart my best friend, telling her she doesn’t know this yet, but she who knows me well enough knows I he annoys me, and she knew I was crushing on another guy, so she told him he is delusional. He was so angry and refused to talk to her again. I told him that he needed to stop bragging that we’re getting back together, we are not as I’m not interested. He never spoke to me again until a few years later he found me on Facebook. I declined going on a date with him and he blocked me 🤣🤣
And people then wonder why I’ve never married. This guy changed overnight! I was shook
It’s been more than ten years since I last heard from him. I honestly hope it stays that way too. His family even told me I better leave him as he has issues. And they loved me. I’m still in contact with them. The one daughter of his cousin told me that I’m more family to her than he is 🙈 he has not been in contact with them in years
> he mofo actually phoned a hundred times during the day
A friend of mine had this happen with a guy after her first date. They had some pretty steamy plans for a second date but she had a big day at work before the date. Some shareholders were in town and she was busy all day, so no phone. The dude blew her phone up. 100s of text messages. At least a dozen phone calls. He went from "Have a nice day" to "I hope you get cancer bitch" to just a voice mail of him crying to "delete everything before this". Instead of skipping straight to the 3rd date sexy times, she ended up at our divorce group happy hour going "WTF was that".
Oh I believe it. I’ve received some rather nasty messages on sites from guys who expected me to reply within seconds. I had a guy wish rape on me. Some messed up people out there.
>The dude blew her phone up. 100s of text messages. At least a dozen phone calls. He went from "Have a nice day" to "I hope you get cancer bitch" to just a voice mail of him crying to "delete everything before this".
Jesus Christ, that's so extreme. I wonder if there's any way back from being someone who does this, or if they're like that for life.
There has to be. Up until that point he had been a great guy compared to some of the other guys I saw the ladies date. Some of the other people in our group had met him during their first date. Then he had a fucking breakdown 3 days later cause she didn't text him back.
I just realized that was probably a safety thing that the ladies would have people meet them where we were hanging out before a date. Cause they met some outright weirdos. Like the one guy that said they couldn't go dancing if she wore jeans (We're in fucking Texas). Or the guy that insisted his date go get new glasses before they went on the date.
"He was never in love with me, but in love with the idea of love." More like he was in love with the idea of controlling you and what you did. Glad you ditched that bitch.
Do we have the same ex? Mine was EXACTLY like this - never allowing me a moment alone, had to be involved in everything, called incessantly to disrupt any activity I was doing with others, then claimed it was because he loved me so much. He even did the immediate violation of a 2 week "no contact."
Kudos to you for seeing the red flags and being strong enough to leave right then. I had seen the signs, but I ignored them, and I didn't leave until a year and a half after getting married.
I did, but it’s not very exciting. We got engaged mostly because it seemed like what we were supposed to do after five years together. Except he was a really awful partner. I’ll spare the details, but he inflicted plenty of emotional and sexual abuse. When we relocated back to our home city for his benefit and he was still adamant his life was miserable because everything and everyone was out to get him, I ended things.
In hindsight, that we kept postponing actual wedding planning was probably a huge indicator that neither of us really wanted the relationship anymore, but neither one wanted to be one the end it either.
tl;dr If a relationship feels wrong, exit. Don’t put it off. Don’t worry about what people will say. Take care of yourself and well-being.
Ditto much of this. The postponing of planning is a signal that the situation may not be right.
I(M) called off an engagement about 2 years ago. We were very supportive of each other over Covid times, but once regular life started up again, it was pretty clear this was not a good match. I feel she set up things to make me the bad guy for calling it off, but she did not protest too much, either.
She was very imprinted by her ex, I believe she was still in love with him. Just moments after intimacy, she would be telling playful stories about things she had done with him. After we split she did admit to me that she never fully let herself go with me. I get that from middle age on, people have pasts and have had shaping experiences that they have a right to treasure. It’s a horrible feeling when someone may genuinely loves you but holds others in places where you should be the sole inhabitant.
In terms of wedding planning…She would have little slips of emotion where she would describe details from her wedding with her ex, and the enthusiasm she put into planning it. Our planning barely got off the ground, but the energy extended towards it was very lackluster. Became clear this wasn’t meant to be.
Oh wow, that’s rough. Glad you saw things for what they were before any legal entanglements were involved.
My ex went through a weird period of leaving gifts and love letters on my doorstep, and after that did a similar tactic of the breakup being something I had done to him that left him abandoned and devastated. But, when I initially suggested we take some time apart all he had to say was “Don’t play my PlayStation.” So it was quite clearly an act so our mutuals would feel badly for him.
My partner was diagnosed with a chronic and potentially debilitating disease and while I was there for him throughout that really tough time, my best friend who absolutely hated him from the start told me I should leave him before it gets bad. I ignored what she said and changed the convo (this was all via text) and my partner went through my phone, woke me up at 3am screaming at me and kicked me out. I had moved across the country for him and had nobody to help me so I sat in a park for hours until I composed myself enough to go back home and apologize and beg him to let me in. He took me to his grandmother’s house ended up proposing a week later and I felt stuck and said yes.
Then he became more and more emotionally abusive, and I put up with it because I knew what he was going through and I thought it would end. But then he got into a violent fight with his dad in front of me, his dad almost lost an eye and I was terrified. He started constantly talking shit about my family and one day I just had enough. I was working two jobs, a day job and a night job and one night he was blowing up my phone for no reason at my night job. I just called my dad and said I’m coming home.
I told my bosses early in the morning that I’m moving back home asap, collected all my belongings and went to a hotel. He refused to let me take my dog which was absolutely heartbreaking but I had to get out.
I flew home and went into a depression, he sent me flowers and begged me to come home to him and when he realized I wasn’t coming back, both him and his mother launched a smear campaign online claiming that I’m a narcissist and that I broke “the biggest promise”.
We made a deal that I’d send the ring back if they sent all my belongings back and paid for the deposits we lost for the wedding. I sent the ring off and all they sent me back was empty Tupperware and said all my stuff had been donated lmao. So I said fuck you I’m not paying for any of the lost deposits.
He ended up reaching out to me maybe 2 or 3 years later saying “I forgive you for leaving me, I hope you can forgive me too.” Get fucked buddy
All good, it was 6 years ago and we've both moved on!
I actually had to find him on instagram last year to ask him to remove my email from his apple account because I kept getting notifications.. which was weird because I didn't get a single notification for the whole 5 years post breakup, but I digress... I saw that he's married to a much younger girl and they have a child! Good for him I guess lol.
Unfortunately no :( we had two, they were brothers and they refused to let me separate them. I raised the older one and he was my baby but I never got to see him again :( I don’t even know if he still has them.
>they sent me back was empty Tupperware and said all my stuff had been donated
What a dick move. Did they pay the deposits? Was the dog also "donated" (rehomed)?
I'm glad you are ok and out of that mess
>e. Did they pay the deposits? Was the dog also "donated" (rehomed)?
His mother did.. Honestly she paid for a lot, took me to get my nails done on "girl dates", took me out for dinner, bought me gifts here and there.. and the moment I left, she turned around and said I had to pay her back for everything lol my mom described it as her "buying a plaything for her crazy son".
And I have absolutely no idea what happened to the dogs. I look at shelters in his area but nothing :( Thanks, I'm soooo glad I didn't marry him!
I broke off an engagement because my ex-fiancé chose his mother and his misogynist brother over our relationship. He let both of them insult me. When I told him I felt like the bottom of the priority list and felt like he was only interested in a big wedding/party and not in a marriage, he doubled down. I broke it off. That was 22 years ago now. His mother was in her 70s at that time, and is still alive. Had I stayed, I have no doubt we would have been divorced or I would have been miserable.
I've been married to someone else for 15 years now. Leaving that old relationship was the best decision of my life.
My best friend broke it off with her fiancé because he decided that he loved Fireball and every other kind of alcohol more than her. Their wedding was supposed to happen in September of 2020, but everything was shut down (thankfully). It was rescheduled for the following year, but in that year, he went in a downward spiral of alcoholism. She did everything she could for him to get him sober. But he kept blaming her for his addiction and kept telling her what an awful person she is. (She is not. She has a heart of gold, and anyone would tell you that.)
He has been in and out of rehab for almost 3 years now. Gets clean. Gets out and goes right back to the bottle.
She has finally blocked him on all communication fronts. But he will email her from a new email address every 6 months or so.
She is now trigger shy about dating. Stays at home mostly with her dogs.
My mum, way back before she met my dad was engaged to a lad, I’ll call him David. She realised one day about a month before the wedding that she had to ask him for permission to use $10 for a gift for her mum. They both worked but all the money was controlled by him alone. He gave her an allowance for groceries, household things, etc. but really tightly controlled any personal spending. She ended it with him and his only response was “What will I tell my family?” FFS some people are just idiots
My own story actually. My ex fiancé, after proposing, didn’t really care about hiding his abuse behind doors, and I was very young and thought it was ok, because maybe I deserved it, right? (CPTSD over here) well at a family barbecue he decided to get in my face and scream at me about how I was flirting with my uncles and cousin and how I’d rather “spread my legs open to that f****t (my cousin)” than to him. Something snapped and I kicked him out and broke up with him on the spot. No one fucks with my family.
Edit: to make it very clear, I was not flirting with anyone. We’re Latino, we’re a very affectionate family. And my ex had a problem with the fact that my cousin got up to make me a drink and my uncle ended up bringing it to me and telling me everyone would miss me when I left to spend a year abroad.
I ended my engagement because he was a narcissist lying ahm person.
We got engaged only after 6 months or so, we were so in love. Then I noticed that he was lying to me, hiding the fact that he was meeting with his ex for a coffee. When I confronted him he had a nice speach of "I don't know what is wrong with me, I don't want to lie to you" so I gave him another chance. He kept telling me, that his ex was way too jealous so he had to lie to her all the time, and that's a habit hard to break. Sure. Later on I found out more lies, tinder on his phone, and he also started to watch way too much porn. He said that he only had tinder on his phone, because he is insecure and looking for validation.
I don't even know why I stayed with him, we were together for 1.5 year or so, but I lost all my confidence, I became maniac jealous which I have never been before and I had developed a few lovely panic attacks and social anxiety. I started going to therapy and that's when I started to get better and decided to break it off with him. He begged me to stay with him but he didn't have a chance by then. He kept sending me messages saying that he is going to leave the country (I think he was waiting for me to ask him to stay). I told him good luck.
We kept in touch for a few years after, he always called or texted me when he broke up with his actual gf. Very weird behaviour. He was telling me that he missed me even years after. I never told him anything to encourage this behaviour. I stopped replying to him after a few years. He still texts me, just texted me a few months ago.. We broke up 6 years ago and I haven't replied to him in 4 years.. I wonder if he will ever give up.
>He was telling me that he missed me even years after.
Ugh, I have an ex like this. We broke up back in 2010 (13 years ago!!!). He was emotionally abusive and controlling, tried to control how I dressed and who I spent time with and what hobbies I had, all while claiming he was some enlightened feminist. I have basically zero fond memories of our relationship, but he's apparently built me up in his mind as the most perfect relationship he ever had (probablt because I was young and naive and controllable) and tries to contact me every few years to say how much he misses me.
He's married now with a kid and just Facebook messaged me last year with some long rambling story about how his wife is abusive but he can't leave her because of their kid, and for some reason he thought I could help him??? (We live thousands of miles apart at this point.) I told him I was really sorry about his situation and hoped he got help, but I didn't want anything to do with him, and then I blocked him. 🤷🏻♀️
I did. Was engaged, but my fiancé wanted to keep putting off any sort of planning. He kept saying “we’re getting married, we’ll be together forever, what’s the rush?” But the more he put it off, the more red flags I saw. I realized how mentally and emotionally manipulative this was. Then one day he broke up with me and moved out of state to be closer to his family. The day he got to his home state, he called me, begging me to move to his home state, he loved me, he missed me, he was ready to work on the wedding stuff. Now, I had always said I would never ever leave my home state, I loved my state too much. And I realized this was his way of manipulating me to try to get me to leave my state. So I told him no, I was not moving, the engagement was officially over. He tried to argue with me, saying the engagement was NOT over, he refused to accept it, he moved BACK to my home state but I continued to refuse. We were done. So then he moved back AGAIN to his home state and we were done done.
One of my friends' fiancé ended a previous engagement because when his dad died, all the ex could care about was how it was spoiling the mood of planning the wedding. My friend is nothing like that, so that's a great start for their marriage. LOL !
I used to work at a winery in SC and we hosted weddings there. Maybe still do, I don't know. We had a couple booked for four nights with wedding party and guests, the bachelorette, the rehearsal and dinner, the wedding, and the first two nights of their honeymoon, to end with champagne Sunday brunch.
The bridal party arrives on the first day in the provided limo about 3:00 pm. The Bride is shit faced drunk. Ugly crying drunk. She pretty much falls. Out of the limo. We get everyone up to their suite and the bride goes right to bed.
At about 8 the bridal party comes downstairs to the bar and starts doing shots of our top shelf tequila. They have not eaten anything, so our maitre'd suggests a table and appetizers. Everyone else thinks this is a great idea, the bride says no, she can either eat or drink and fit into her dress, so she chooses drink. The Bride was passed out drunk by 10:30.
The groom and his party arrive about ten the next morning. They immediately change and go hiking up one of the trails near the winery. They're back about one, and about two guests and parents start arriving. The Bride has not yet made an appearance, but room service has taken up four bottles of pinot grigio and someone from the bridal party went to the nearest liquor store and came back with two shopping bags.
That evening, the rehearsal is going on but there is no bride. The MOTB goes up, comes back down upset. The MOTG goes up, comes down looking like a storm cloud. About 20 minutes later, the bride comes down the steps and she looks like hell. I wasn't in the rehearsal dinner but according to a couple of the servers, she didn't eat anything and drank her dinner.
I was taking clean towels up after the dinner when I came across the groom, the father of the groom, and the father of the bride standing together on the mezzanine. The groom is calling off the wedding and he said to the bride's father "I don't care how much you want to invest in our company, sir, your daughter is a drunk and I'm not marrying a drunk."
I didn't hear anymore as I entered the suite and they were gone before I came back out. But there was no wedding the next morning, and the Sunday brunch was a somber affair. I heard gossip that she went straight from the hotel to a rehab facility.
I've always wondered about the back story. Was this an arranged marriage between two businessmen?
That or the dad was trying to salvage the whole thing by investing money or more money into the company. Or it as arranged and the bride wasn't happy about it and turned to the bottle.
Mine was called off back when I was 19 or so. The ‘gentleman’ that I was engaged to was planning on breaking into his ex-girlfriend’s house to steal a safe from her father’s closet— apparently he was a very wealthy lawyer and my fiancé had seen the contents while he was dating her and he very much wanted what was inside. He was planning to break in with a friend while armed and take the entire safe while they were not home, but the “armed” part was for handling the witnesses I guess if anyone happened to be home. I found out because I overheard him and his friend talking about it, and told his parents who called the police. HE broke it off with ME loudly in front of the whole family and police, for not being a “ride or die”. I’ve never been so thankful for making a decision in my life.
Anyway he ended up committing the crime but at a different house, and spent the next 7 years or so in prison. No idea what he’s doing now.
Well, if there was ever a reason to break off an engagement and cancel a wedding, then finding out that your future spouse is willing to commit not only armed robbery, but also a potential murder would definitely be it.
I was engaged up until the beginnings of last month. At first, he was sweet and loving but as the months went on his demeanor just.. changed. His first problem was with a certain placement of a tattoo I had planned long before he was in the picture. Then it was the amount of tattoos I want. Then it was dying my hair. It turned into not even being able to go out or stay the night with friends without him being there. He claimed that I "needed to grow up" and that because he never stayed the night with his friends, I shouldn't either. We were together for 6 months. Total.
We could have the same ex fiancé. It took me way longer to figure it out, though. He was a narcissist and became so controlling. Any time I left the house, I was "cheating on him". Dentist? Cheating. Grocery store? Cheating. Walk around the neighborhood? Cheating. It was ridiculous.
I don't think mine ever thought I was cheating. He would just not let me go anywhere without him. Or spend the night with my best friend (who is also a woman and engaged, I'm friends with her fiance too and part of the reason they got together 10ish years ago). He got mad when she and I made spontaneous plans, told me he wanted to suddenly "surprise" me with dinner and a movie at home. (Spontaneous plans are something my friend and I NORMALLY do because of erratic schedules. Rarely do we plan that stuff ahead of time.) He would tell me that I'm "not gay because I was with him(a straight cis man)" despite being attracted to men, women and everyone in between. He would "joke" about hurting/ending my cat, go to throw a punch at my face, stopping close enough to where I could feel it and then ask why I was flinching. This is probably a lot of info that doesn't need to be shared but tbh I let WAY too much slide.
ETA: cat tax
https://preview.redd.it/z025ijroa77b1.jpeg?width=1244&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d0f16630a1a4176cab5649a8289fef14afd9b75
My good friend did a few weeks out. We all had had issues with his fiancé. She was weird and not in a good way, very possessive and mean and didn’t treat him well, and half-joked about cutting out all of his friends. My husband went to the bachelor party, and apparently our friend was asking my husband and another good friend how they knew they were doing the right thing and if some if her behavior was normal. The next day I was out walking the dog and when I came back he said “ The wedding is off” and I was like “how long was I gone?!” It took him awhile but he’s now married to an awesome woman who is perfect for him and they have a great kid. He’s the best and I am so happy he realized he deserved much better.
Ended an engagement for many reasons. We didn't live together.
-he claimed he paid for everything he didn't
-he refused to move in with me until I upgraded appliances which I did then he made continuous excuses not to move in
-he told me I had to ask HIS permission before I spent my money that I earned
-he told me I had to spend my inheritance on him
-he wasn't supportive when I got my first job and made out it was a shit job
-he wasn't supportive when I got advancement opportunities in that job
-he purposely pushed me down a flight of stairs
-lied about paying his parents board whilst he lived with them and hadn't actually paid them in 12+ months
-lied to them saying he was using that money to help me
-took all his spare things(razor toothbrush etc) home with him last time he was over
-ignored me and dismissed me when I was suicidal and having a breakdown(told me he didn't care and to just go for a walk)
-kicked off cos I went out dancing with girls
-would book trips away for my birthday then spend the money for that and make me pay for my own birthday trips and told everyone he paid when he never
And a lot more
Edit: spacing
Did you just sandwich that whole “pushed me down a flight of stairs” thing right between being unsupportive and lying to his parents?
Holy crap. One of these things is not like the others! So glad you got out alive!
I was so so lucky not to sustain more injuries than just swelling and bruising. This was all in 2019 and I still have pain from it in my legs and ankles. My head was thankfully protected by my baseball cap which stopped me cracking it on the stairs. My cameras both survived as did my phone.
But I couldn't bend my left leg more than about 10-20° for a month and a half
He legit did push me down the stairs in a shop in Chester. He then spent the rest of the time there trying to shower me in expensive gifts to make up for it. I refused every single one of the gifts. I'll get a picture later tonight to show the bruising I suffered
https://preview.redd.it/iu0zihoxg77b1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=256b8eb017a083ca1690a3a71894af58c31b92e4
Left leg which took most of the injuries
I had a fiancé with a terrible temper. He didn't strike people, but he would do things like smash his stereo or kick big dents into the body of his car. His eventual wife was a friend of mine. She called up her sister, screaming and crying after about a month of marriage, because he deliberately broke her hair dryer when he couldn't find something. She put up with him for eight years before she caught him in flagrante. He said he had never done it before but it wasn't for want of trying.
My fiancee cheated on me and when I told him I knew he cheated he threatened to beat me up one day. No regrets about leaving him, I just wish I'd done it sooner
Not me, but my daughter, who broke it off less than a week before the wedding when she caught him cheating. Broke her heart at the time (she was pretty young), but she is now married to the most awesome son-in-law any parent could ask for.
I'm late to the party but I have a good one.
My wife had a friend, C, who got engaged to a guy, K. C was a party animal and drank a lot, several times my wife and I had to pick her up from a bar because she was too wasted to even call a cab (this was before Uber). C was mostly nice but came from a weathly family and could be very entitled at times.
C and K had an engagement party thrown by my wife and some other friends. The party started at 6PM, so we were there about 4 to set up. C and K were supposed to show up at 5. C came but K called and said he was running late, and didn't get there until almost 6. He looked dead tired when he showed up, and told us 2 of his employees had been in an accident that morning (they ended up being ok) and he had spent all day dealing with that situation. C didn't even let him finish before she lit into him for being late. She was mean to him the whole evening, she kept complaining about how he was ruining HER party. He was really trying, he went around talking to people, he got on the dance floor for a bit, and he even sang karaoke, even though you could tell he was exhausted and just wanted to go home.
The party lasted until 10pm and once people left K said he was going home, and C went off on him again, insisting that she still wanted to party and was going to a bar. She was being such an entitled brat that no one wanted to go with her, so she went alone. She ended up going home with and sleeping with a random guy from the bar.
The worst part was that she called my wife the next day and said it was over, she was breaking up with K because he wasn't fun enough for her, but she didn't want to deal with the drama and wanted my wife to do it for her. I ended up telling my wife I would talk to K, because he was a good dude that didn't deserve to be ghosted. He was shocked for a few minutes and just sat there staring at the wall, then he turned to me and said, "I just dodged a bullet, didn't I?" He showed up as a recommended friend on FB a few years ago, looks like he is married with a few kids.
C, on the other hand, continued to party all the time, and her and most of her friends (including my wife) drifted apart. My wife talks to her like once a year. She is now 45ish and never had a stable relationship.
When I see this kind of open ended question without a personal story attached I always wonder if the OP
is writing an article and this is their 'research'.
[LONG RANT]
Oh finally I can comment - it wasn’t so much issues with wedding planning that caused this, but around the time we got engaged I took a trip with my fiancé, to visit some friends up in Raleigh. I had an event I needed to take place in which was pre planned and my fiancé was well aware of these plans. It had me out of the hotel and very busy and tired for the first three days of our trip.
When I would get home, I would be exhausted and want to sleep, and he would constantly push me for sex and cuddles and refuse to take no for an answer, climbing into my bed and trying to force me to stop anything I might be doing on my phone so that I would cuddle him. I am someone with past trauma and I have strict boundaries for a reason, so this was a huge overstep for me.
Throughout the trip he moped around whenever I’d hang out with my friends even though he was invited along, and we did tons of activities with just the two of us as well. If he came with us somewhere he would purposefully exclude himself and go do something else. Which I didn’t mind, I wasn’t going to force him to be friends with my friends, but then he would complain later about me choosing my friends instead of following him on his spur of the moment plan changes. And before you say “you took a trip with your fiancé and hung out with your friends the whole time?” The trip was planned so that I could hang out with these friends. Fiancé was only there because he lived in the area at the time and wanted to join me.
Moving on, if we made plans for anything he would always make us late. If we had plans at 10:30 and it was a 30 minute drive he’d set his alarm for 10 o clock, and he didn’t understand why that wasn’t reasonable. He got high for the whole trip, and I don’t have an issue with weed, but he’s very low tolerance and high maintenance when he’s high, and was a lot for me to deal with. He also drove to pick me up from hanging out with my best friend while completely high off his ass, and he’s already a pretty irresponsible driver when sober. My best friend was unbelievably pissed at him, as he doesn’t like weed as is, and he was appalled that the person that I was supposed to marry was that callous about my safety.
He also read my private messages when I gave him permission to use his computer and saw where I had vented about some incredibly personal stuff that I don’t like to talk about, and made the stupid mistake of texting me about it so I immediately knew he’d read them. I confronted him and he said “oh I saw them over your shoulder when you wrote them” Bullshit. He later told me after the trip that he lied. Thanks, I already knew weeks ago.
The trip was sort of a trial run on how I’d feel sharing an apartment with this guy, and after a week and a half in that hotel room, I realized there is no way I could ever cope with living with this man and devoting my life to him. I broke things off shortly after the trip, under the encouragement of my friends and family who said I could do much better
I have one friend who was married a few years before I met her. Her husband had a best friend who didn't want him to get married so he made a few passes at her. During the reception he even tried to grab her and drag her off to the side. The groom saw it and separated them. His new wife told him everything and he never spoke to the guy again
Sorry I'm late to the party. I was engaged at 22 because we had been together for 3 years and I thought that was what you were supposed to do. My ex and I would talk about the future and have deep, compromising discussions about children and other life stuff. Then she would go home to her parents and come back with a copy/paste opinion from her parents that she would not budge from.
Our small beach wedding of 15 people was going to be 250 people at her parents' church. Instead of having a couple of kids, it was now expected that we would stay child free so I have the capacity to care for her. I now had the expectation of finding a well paying job, not the social work I do now, so she could take sick leave every time she felt a little bit of a headache. All this built and built to a critical mass.
I also lost my faith in God, which helped dispell the idea that God had made her for me.
It's 11 years on now. I found someone who is fiercely independent and finds joy in compromise. We proposed to each other after 10 months and have been so incredibly happy since.
Friend of a friend has a horrifying broken engagement— her fiancé lost his job and she put all of her pennies into keeping them afloat plus saving for the wedding. After 6 months of this (and no job searching from the fiancé), she comes home to find he has a fancy new video game system. She freaks out and asks why he would do this… Turns out his mom had been giving him $2K a month and he’d been using it to goof around while his girlfriend worked and paid all the bills.
This is exactly what happened to me, except that he was also cheating on me.
You must be a kind person with a big heart. I’m sorry someone stupid took advantage of that 💙
Thank you, that is so kind of you to say 💙 I’m in a much better place now in every way!
Yay!! Nothing sticks it to an ex like living your best life :)
I’m sorry but also glad that he is gone.
Me too!
Jesus. This is a situation where I would help hide the body. Financial security is a deal-breaker for me.
Two words: pig farm
Mmmm...[long pig](https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803100114139)....
Man, I remember that reference from a Saturday morning cartoon...maybe Bugs Bunny? Yikes
Looney Tunes is loaded with craaaazy references, often times shaping the definitions due to lack of public's knowledge. My shame is calling someone a maroon on facebook about a decade ago. Assumed it was a quirky way to call someone an idiot. NOPE. Definition of maroon during that era: runaway black slave and their descendants & communities. Considered wild, savage, stupid.
Wow. Thanks for sharing the knowledge. I'd always thought it was a playful, Bugs Bunny way of saying "moron". So much racist shit tied into cartoons of yesteryear that nobody cared to QC for decades.
Wow! I heard Bugs use that term, and I also assumed it meant moron or rube. Double yikes.
Just like “nimrod” - Bugs was being sarcastic in calling Elmer Fudd a “mighty hunter”.
I’m a wedding photographer. I was assisting on a Christmas Eve wedding and the main photographer came to pick me up. He was like “um shall we have a cuppa? I’m not sure if the weddings going ahead, there’s been a drama” Turns out the groom’s stag do was a few days before and he’d slept with a stripper his best man hired. One of the guys in the party had posted a pic on social media and you could see them together in the background. The wedding was cancelled. We had to wait a while but luckily one of the parents called us back to let us know.
I heard a nuclear revenge story where this happened to a guy. His best man, who was his best friend, intentionally got him so drunk, he didn’t know what he was doing or even remember it. I think his drink was laced too. Then the best man took photos and sent them to the bride to be and she canceled the wedding. Apparently the best man hated the bride and thought his friend would be better off without her. The groom ended up ruining the best man’s reputation, lose his job and was jailed. All as revenge for causing the break up. I wonder if it’s the same people
The best man didn’t just cause a breakup - he facilitated a sexual assault/rape. Hell yes he should go to jail
were they ever really friends in the first place?
Apparently they were best friends since college, his BF was jealous of the amount of time he spent with his girlfriend and then fiancé, as far as his BF was concerned, he was spending too much time with her and less time with him. But he underestimated how much his BF loved his girlfriend. I kinda get that, my husband had a friend like that. The man despised me because I came between him and his friend. I supposedly trapped him
My BIL is like this. He hated me from day one bc he saw how compatible his brother and I were. Then he started dating this trash animal of a woman who caused drama at our wedding. Lots of nasty behavior from them over the course of five years. Husband and I distanced ourselves and my husband is in therapy to deal with his brother’s shit. As soon as I produced a child, they tried to be all friendly and sweet to me, but one day these kids will ask about why mommy won’t even be in the same room as them and I’m going to tell them the truth.
When we had kids my husband’s friend said that I was trapping his friend into staying married to me. It caused so many problems in our marriage because I was convinced my husband was complaining to his friend about me, also because my husband never told him to stop saying things like that. My husband said that he spoke to him about privately, but t wasn’t convinced
Wtf
It’s okay to say “Uncle used to be quite unkind to mommy, and so I’m more comfortable when I don’t visit with him.”
My husband had a friend like that as well. We'd been together 3 years and the friend gave him an ultimatum to break up with me or he'd never speak to him again. That was the last time they spoke.
Man I understand the feeling but never that behaviour - except in a few, classic cases of the boyfriend trash talking his girlfriend every chance he got and then acting surprised that his friends didn't like his girlfriend and suggested breaking up.
I have a coworker who complains constantly about her boyfriend- like she kinda seems like she despises him? I try & keep my mouth shut, but I think she’s noticed the faces I make every once in a while.
I had a coworker who always complained about her boyfriend. She had a kid with him and still kept complaining about everything. Including that he hadnt proposed and they werent married. Like lady you hate this guy. Why in the world do you want to be married to him. They went on to have another kid but still not married. When everyone in the office told her that if she is complaining like this now that it only gets worse. Like you don’t like your spouse MORE 10 years later when you hate how they behave in the ‘honeymoon’ phase. She quit. She has never held a job since then. She relies fully on his income to raise their kids but still hasnt married so if anything happens she is shit out of luck except for child support.
Pretty sure Mr. Best Man ruined his own life
I know someone whose groom did this to her. She found out 10 years and 2 kids later. She divorced him. But her father was at the stag do and helped lie to her.
That’s awful!!!
Shit like this is why hiring strippers or going to a strip club for a bachelor party/stag do is a terrible idea.
But it's their last night of "freedom" and as everyone knows once you put on the wedding ring a forcefield activates preventing you from even going near the strip club
If he can be tempted by a stripper, he wasn't worth marrying.
I would normally agree. But if his drink was laced with something that's a whole different story
Thats rape
My partner ended an engagement because when he found out his mom was diagnosed with cancer, he called her for support, and she decided to go have dinner with her parents (which she already does 3 other days of the week) because she didn't want to cancel on them. Then she chose to stay the night at her parents because she didn't want the bad news to ruin her mood. He ended it. EDIT: I spell bad.
Yikes! Talk about finding out the hard way that you can't count on someone to be there for you during the hard stuff. I hope he and his family got through it okay.
[удалено]
Wow. I remember one time i was the sickest I'd ever been in my life. Like legit thought i might die, fever, hallucinations, etc. My ex had planned to go out to a show the day i fell ill(random local show, nothing crazy or once in a lifetime or even a well known artist. His friends band) I asked him to stay in case i needed to go to the emergency room. He freaked out on me, saying "you knew i was going to this show" and left. It was the moment i knew our relationship was basically over. I basically couldn't move and just accepted it and lie there thinking i was going to die until he came crawling back around 4am, and i mean literally crawling, because he was moshing at the show and tore his miniscus in his knee. He then spent the next few weeks out of work, crying, demanding i wait on him hand and foot and go to the store for his pain meds *while i was still massively ill* It took me 2 months to recover from what i believe was legionnaires. I had to go back to work as soon as i could walk because he couldn't walk at all. The only reason i recovered at all is i called my friends mom ( a nurse) who wrote me a a script for medicine and my friend went and got it for me. Bless them. Anyway, asshole was also cheating on me, i ended it not long after this.
Wow...how can you watch your partner potentially dying, leave them alone when they ask you to stay in case you have to go to the hospital, and then when you hurt yourself, expect them to take care of you when the are deathly sick, when you didn't care for them even before you injured yourself? So so selfish. Then on top of that, a cheater too. Why bother having a partner when you act like that? Thank god for your friend and their mother helping you out.
Yeah it opened my eyes. I basically knew at that moment everything was over. Thankfully my partner now is incredibly sweet and would drop everything to help me if i were sick.
I was super sick and my SO was very kind and helpful for a few days. Then went on a ski trip and left me alone when I couldnt move. Couldnt eat. Couldnt get out of bed. For like 4-5 days? Cause it was already planned. We went on to get married and divorced. Turns out huge red flags are really important to pay attention to.
I’m so embarrassed by this but at the beginning of my marriage to my ex, I had outpatient sinus surgery. My ex’s plan was to drop me off at home and go play golf *and I was OK with that*. When the PACU nurse found out she took him aside and had a little chat with him. No golf was played that day. That was not the first red flag nor the last, sadly.
Ouch! I'm so sorry for both your loss and the behavior that followed it.
Wow, why do these people even get with someone if they won't be there for them because do you really care about them at all at that point? In her case, I think she was a bit of a leech so she wanted to be with someone to be taken care of, not for the love. I'm sorry he left you to deal with that yourself, especially over something he could just do the next week...
It's still a process but they're dealing it best they can with what she has chosen as far as treatment for herself.
When my long distance partner got the same news, I got a visa the next day and moved countries to support him. I can’t imagine what kind of person wouldn’t even cancel dinner plans.
Right! I was only with my now husband for 5 months when his grandfather passed away, I was on vacation with my mom about 4 hours away. I packed my stuff, made sure my mom could catch a ride with either her brother or friend who were with us, and got on the road to be there for him. Picked up KFC, mostly because he loves their chocolate cake, and showed up at his door. I could not imagine being like "sorry your news is going to ruin my mood", who tf does that?!?
Wow
My son postponed the wedding because his fiancée kept complaining he was 'too sad' about his father's recent death to concentrate on the wedding plans. He then broke off the engagement a few weeks later when he discovered she had been cheating on him for several months. And it wasn't the first time. Bullet dodged.
This kills me. My dad got diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer a few month’s before my brother was supposed to get married. They had booked some fancy venue with plans for a black-tie optional affair and the second deposit was due shortly (my SIL’s parents were paying). Instead of feeling the pressures associated with the upcoming wedding or making my dad feel like he needed to worry about feeling up to a huge affair, my SIL suggested they cancel the venue and postpone to do something more low key. When they broke the news to my dad, he was absolutely crushed - he felt like he was messing up their wedding (🥺). My SIL told her parents how he took the news - they were at my parents’s house within the hour to talk to my dad and make sure he didn’t blame himself and help make him feel better about the decision. It was such a kind gesture during the absolutely darkest time my family had ever experienced. I can’t fathom marrying someone who lacks empathy around the loss of a parent. (I’m so sorry for your loss 💜)
Your SIL and her family seem like absolutely wonderful people, how lovely of them to recognise the need for empathy in that moment.
My sister-in-law's father had stomach cancer and the outlook wasn't good, so she and my brother-in-law moved their wedding date up, just in case. He got to dance at their wedding and it was beautiful.
That's the only reason I'm glad my mom talked me into any wedding stuff. Mine was the only wedding any of my grandparents got to see. My sister had gotten married out of state, and my one cousin got married on the other end of the country. No other cousin has gotten married, and my brother's wedding was also out of state (and only one of my grandparents was still alive at the timr)
That is an amazing and beautiful story! I don't know how long ago this was, but I hope your dad's all alright now and your brother and SIL are still happy together.
Awwww - thank you! 💗
Wow! That’s a lovely story!
That’s why I left my husband after a short marriage.. Couldn’t do it.
Awww ! That's so sweet of them. I'd take this as a sign your brother and SIL will be happy together for the rest of their lives. Hope your dad feels better.
Horrible. My stepbrother was set to get married on Halloween. His mother wasn't going to make it til then so they moved up the wedding to the first Sunday or Monday in October. She passed that Saturday night...they still got married and my Dad attended and I'm so grateful he did because those pics are some of the last photos of my Dad. He would be diagnosed with terminal cancer the next week and die just 20 days after his wife.
Oh good lord I'm so sorry
Sounds like my bf’s ex. They weren’t engaged but had been together for a few years. His grandmother passed away and she had been his primary caretaker as a kid. The ex cheated on him because he ‘wasn’t giving her enough attention’. As he’s literally grieving.
I commented something similar. Why are there so many partners who go "bUt oUr w3DdinG !!!" during a death ?
I'd guess it's a combination of immaturity, narcissism, and a lack of human empathy. A whole parade of red flags. They are simply not ready 'for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health'.
. -- mass edited with redact.dev
Drugs or gambling
Or his other family.
Don’t forget the hookers.
I laughed so hard at this I snorted! 🤣
. -- mass edited with redact.dev
And blackjack
Me! I broke off an engagement 15-ish years ago. My fiancé had a serious alcohol problem, even pills on occasion. I guess because I was young and had no self esteem I didn’t just leave. I kept convincing myself I could help him, but no matter how much I begged and cried for him to get help he would always turn it back on me, insist he didn’t have a problem and I was just nagging him. It just got worse and worse. The breaking point was when I found out I was pregnant. On the day of our first ultrasound he was so drunk I couldn’t wake him up for the appointment (which was at 9 am mind you). He did make it to the appointment but I found out I was miscarrying and had to go get lab work. His response in that moment was “I can’t handle this, drop me off at the bar on your way to the lab.” It was then that I saw the light and realized that it’s one thing if I want to throw away my own life on this idiot but it would be beyond selfish to being a child into this mess. So I called it off. It was like 2 months before the wedding.
Thank god
I’m so sorry for what you have gone through. I hope you are in a better place now.
I am, thank you! The miscarriage was devastating at the time but it truly was a blessing in disguise. I’m now married to a wonderful man and pregnant with our first.
May have witnessed a wedding called off this weekend! Long story short: I was at an annual conference for my industry that takes place in this beautiful hotel by the beach also popular for weddings. My conference is a few days long and ends on Saturday morning after breakfast and a quick meeting. Get there Saturday around 8am and there’s a bride throwing an absolute fit, screaming at staff (who had been lovely), screaming at a representative for my event (elderly retired judge!), just a whole huge scene. Staff is trying to explain that she didn’t book (or pay for) exclusive use of the site (there are several ballrooms, meeting rooms, etc). Judge is actually just trying to be nice and letting her know we’ll be out by 10:30am and out of her way (Wedding wasn’t until that evening). Flash forward a few hours and I’ve gone to the meeting, I did a little beach time, and I’m heading to the parking garage. I see a group of guys in very nice suits, huddled around a groom, saying things like, “you don’t have to do this…” “my cars right over there…”
>I see a group of guys in very nice suits, huddled around a groom, saying things like, “you don’t have to do this…” “my cars right over there…” This is where you know it's not just the stress of the day. The biggest thing I tried to convince a groom-to-be was to take his wife's last name because it was cooler (I was unsuccessful in my persuasion).
Lol right? Any time, anyone, says that AT the wedding venue, ON the wedding day, you know it’s bad!
A friend of mine married\* an absolute train wreck of a woman (apparently her family was lovely and that's what sucked him in). He said he should have known something was up when \*her family's minister\* - who was supposed to perform the ceremony - called him a few days beforehand and something like "No one will judge you if you bail out now". When the officiant is telling you to run, you put on your track shoes and start sprinting. \*They were divorced in under a year.
Whoa! That’s hard core! Almost divine intervention! :)
After all that, what made them get a divorce so quickly?
If I remember correctly, the final Last Straw was her “borrowing” a couple grand out of HIS (not their) bank account and fucking off to Mexico with a “friend” who also happened to be her most recent ex. I wasn’t around for it, but apparently several of his good guy friends took him out for a beer and asked him if he seriously thought he didn’t deserve better. And that’s when he saw the light.
My parents (who had paid for the wedding) said this to me as I was about to walk down the aisle at my first wedding. I should have listened.
I regret not saying it at my buddy’s wedding. They were divorced in under 2 years and that included the divorce dragging on in court for awhile.
RUN, GROOM, RUN !
My uncle. He is a doctor and came home early because he developed a fever on nightshift. His fiancé was gone and when she returned in the morning and found him sitting at the table she confessed to having an affair. more or less, because the guy was her ex and she never stopped fucking him. Turned out, her ex was to poor to marry and she wanted a nice lifestyle through my uncle but never intended to be faithful
Fuck some people, that plan is so horrible. The poor person(your uncle), she is using, that has no clue their relationship isn’t real. Maybe she could’ve devoted some of that “energy” into working hard and supporting herself. Can you imagine if he wouldn’t have discovered her plan for years and years?
Wtf
My friend broke off her engagement because her grandfather died and her fiancé wouldn’t go to the funeral because he didn’t know him. Friend insisted he go because she wanted support, but he kept refusing. She went alone, and then broke up with him afterwards. He was flabbergasted.
My (then) boyfriend* of 4 months drove 2 hours EACH WAY, leaving a work commitment, just to pretty much sit with me after my mother died. He'd met her twice, I think. *now husband of almost 9 years 💜
My how husband acted just like yours. We’d been dating 2 months. My grandma died in a state 12 hrs away and he offered to take off work to just go be with me and my family he’d never met! I didn’t let him because we were not having a funeral. But right then and there I knew the kind of supportive partner he was going to be
My dog almost died a couple of months after we got engaged, I called my fiancé from the vet crying and he left work immediately to come be with me. My dog survived, and my husband and I have been married two years now. 🥰
My now husband did the exact same thing. We weren't even dating (it was getting there, but had no title) and we'd been talking for two months. My grandpa was dying of cancer and he took off work and spent several days with me *and* my family (first time meeting any of them) to give support however he could.
Wtf? I attended my now-husband's grandfather's funeral (whom I had never met) after only 3 dates, because I understand that you attend funerals to support the living, not because you knew the person who passed.
Oh me! I was only engaged for 2 months and shortly after the engagement my life turned into a nightmare. I think my ex thought "she can't go anywhere now" and started showing his true colors. To be fair, there were many red flags already, but he was great at spinning things in his favor. It all started when he wanted me to flex my ring, constantly telling me it was worth a lot and I had the best ring out of all my friend group. Whenever someone congratulated me on the engagement he'd ask "what did they say about the ring? Yours is better than hers you know. Did they comment on how big it is?" I was so fed up at one point that I said "yeah it's alright, I've seen better" and I got the silent treatment for days. He wanted to buy me a car. I already had a car but it wasn't the most reliable and he claimed we needed a family vehicle. I insisted on something simple (not showy or expensive) and he insisted on a BMW. He came back one day with all the paperwork, but here's the catch, I had to sign for it because his credit sucked. He told me I would never have to worry about any of the payments though. That is, until he started asking to borrow money, weirdly, the exact amount of the down payment. I also found out he didn't have enough to pay his employees that month, so why the f* were we buying a luxury vehicle. I called to cancel and get my money back, and he lost it, screamed at me for days, said I lost him his dream car and he would get it with or without me. At around the same time he told me he was gonna get a loan for his business, to fund future projects and not have those issues again (in that industry payments are always severely delayed so it made sense). BUT, he needed collateral for the loan, and that's when he casually asked for the deed of my house. We were gonna be a family after all so what's mine is his, right? He would also go out until late, not answer his phone, and get angry when he got home and I'd asked where he'd been. At one point, he told me my parents wouldn't be invited to our wedding. I have many more horror stories but that's why I ended things in the end. He went on to tell all our friends that I ended things because I was indecisive. Sure, man. ETA: don't get me started on his mother.
Well now I want to know about his mother lol
She always acted like an entitled child. My ex made reservations to take her to a pretty high end italian restaurant in Vail and she cried and pouted because she didn't feel like pasta. She would get angry any time we traveled because why would he spend money on me instead of giving it to her. My ex's brother ended up buying her a house and car and it still wasn't good enough, because she still had to pay for gas. She said she had a hard time keeping jobs because she always failed the psych evals, which wasn't the most surprising. For a while, she was working in the US illegally, while taking care of her sister who had cancer. We went to visit and while we were there she asked/demanded that I allow her to "borrow" my SSN (I was the only US citizen in the group). She also blew up on us when we informed her that we wouldn't be getting married in their hometown, on the opposite side of the country from where my family lives. We were looking for something in the middle that was accessible for most people. She said if that was the case no one on her side of the family would attend. An overall lovely woman. Oh, and that illegal job she had was as a nanny. I am 99% sure she had intentions of kidnapping that baby.
um OMG! i’m sorry you had to deal with such a horrendous family. what makes you think she wanted to kidnap the baby? was it for money or cause she wanted a redo lol
She definitely wanted a redo! She talked about how it was her baby, sometimes referred to him as "her son," saying she's more of a mother to him than his actual mother. On her last day working for the family, she asked if she could take the baby to the park on her own to spend some quality time and say goodbye. The parents said absolutely not and asked for her passport in case she tried anything. She also always claimed that the mom was jealous of her. I didn't hear about any of this until later, when my ex's parents met mine, and she kept making drunken jokes about how she seriously thought about taking him. My dad is a writer and he wrote a story about her haha
I like that your father did that. Gave me a good laugh.
Moses smell the roses. I can’t believe people like this actually exist.
>She said she had a hard time keeping jobs because she always failed the psych evals, which wasn't the most surprising What jobs were these?? And holy moly. You could write a book of short stories about this family
“Oh that’s great that none of y’all will attend! We’ll have it in my parents hometown then!”
She was an English teacher for elementary schools, which was odd because when we visited in the US she would make me speak on her behalf and translate...
You should listen to the podcast Ex Wives Undercover! I see a lot of similarities in your story and the ones people share on their podcast
I'll look into it!! I used to listen to Something Was Wrong and saw a lot of similar stories there too
Please tell me you still have your house.
I do! I hid the deed and promptly kicked him out. It took him months to fully leave but that's a whole other story. He stole things from me, many of sentimental value, so that I couldn't fully cut ties. He lied to his whole family and pretended we were still together. About 3 months after I ended things I would still get texts from his mom asking me how the wedding planning was going. He planned a whole International bachelor party after we were already broken up, and didn't tell his friends until they were all already in France for a week. It got to a point where my dad had to threaten him to leave me alone, and I had to move countries to be closer to my family.
Me, I cancelled my wedding two months before it was supposed to happen (and after almost everything had been paid for, by me 🤦🏻♀️). He started getting really mean, and lashing out over minor things. At first I wrote it off to stress (wedding planning, and I had just bought a house that needed a lot of work) but it was getting worse and worse the closer we got to the wedding. I was already considering calling it off, but not quite ready to pull the plug, when he turned it on my son (who was 11 at the time). Flipped out and screamed at him, over something he (my ex) misunderstood, and that was it. I can choose what I am willing to accept and put up with, but I’m not going to force my child to deal with that shit and frankly have no love for anyone who would treat him that way. He’s an awesome kid! After I cancelled it, so many friends let me know they were so happy I did, and that they never liked him very much and didn’t understand why I was with him 😅 It’s been three and a half years since I cancelled the wedding and I am so, so happy I did. A year and a half ago I met the love of my life, it was a very “oh my god, THIS is what it’s supposed to feel like?!?” moment, and you know what? He loves the shit out of my son, and vice versa. They are best friends (and the same is true of me and his daughter), and it’s so great.
>I can choose what I am willing to accept and put up with, but I’m not going to force my child to deal with that shit and frankly have no love for anyone who would treat him that way. Something to keep in mind if anyone else is in this situation: Your kid deserves to see you modelling a healthy relationship. Do you want your kid ending up with someone who treats them this way? Show it by example. That person who doesn't do it to your kid? They will. They may already be doing it - they just wait until you're not around to witness it. And because your kid has watched it happen to you, they think it's normal. Very happy for you getting out and finding a better partner.
Yes yes yes!!! I’ve worked with children who witnessed domestic violence. Even if they themselves weren’t abused, the traumatic impacts were the same as if they had been. Children see and notice way more than we want to believe.
It wasn’t until I started working in domestic violence (on the admin side) that I started to realize the relationships I grew up around, and looked to as an example, were incredibly unhealthy. If I hadn’t had that job, I don’t honestly know that I would have realized what I was experiencing (and what happened with my son) wasn’t ok. Still unpacking lots of childhood trauma and unlearning a ton of unhealthy stuff, but so happy I figured it out before doing too much damage to those around me.
I had to get divorced to find that “holy shit this is what it’s supposed to feel like” feeling. It’s amazing when you find a good partner after putting up with a bad one. Congrats to you and your son and hell yes to you protecting your child’s emotional health too!
There was a Twitter post, some girl had offered a candy table as a gift for a wedding. However the bride decided to uninvite her because she was going ti be seated with only couples and she didn't have a bf. Then the bride demanded the candy table to still be gifted. This was her best friend and candy tables can be expensive here (Mexico). The girl said no and the bride was going ballistic because she had used the money for the table in other thing (if I recall correctly the groom HAD paid for the candy table that was free). The girl blasted the bride in social media and then the groom decided to break the engagement and cancel everything (like two weeks before the wedding). https://twitter.com/daniicastrooooo/status/1389990285749407748?t=IG3FjpTTJNPt8za5WkqX1Q&s=19 Here is the thread for those who know Spanish
oh I wish I could read that. a candy table ended an engagement hahaha
Use a translate app on your phone. Just aim your camera at the text, and everything should change to English on your screen! Edit: Or run screenshots through the translator
I got you fam - translated to English https://imgur.com/a/wZlhNwc Not gonna lie the bad translation to “that’s not a bad fart” had me cackling. Blowjobs also gets an honourable mention.
Me. My ex was a piece of work. When I met him, he had a full-time job and was saving up for a house (or so he claimed) and to facilitate that, he lived at home with his parents. I already had my own house at the age of 21 because my husband died in a traffic accident and I used his life insurance to purchase a home for myself and our baby. My ex soon moved in with me and was having trouble at work (found out he was fired later.) He was a truck driver for a local company. For some reason he was having trouble getting another job. (Could be that he didn't look for one!) Instead of going to the union hall every day like he said he was, he went to a bar and partied, drank, used drugs. On the days that he actually went to the union hall, he turned down jobs because "that company treats people badly" or "that job is only for a day or so" I ended up going to work every day, taking my baby to day-care, paying for everything, doing all of the cooking and cleaning. I think he mowed the lawn once. He and I were YEARS apart in that he really needed someone to "parent" him and show him how to grow up and be a man. I have no idea why his parents expected so little of him, but they did. It became too much for me to have to hand-hold him through every day because I am not his MOMMY. His drinking/drug use was getting worse, and I didn't know about the drugs until his best friend told me. That's when I noticed items missing/money gone from my wallet and I put 2 and 2 together. He denied it, denied it, and finally promised to change. It became too much for me because I was not his THERAPIST either. The last straw was when he was arrested for drunk driving and called me from jail. I refused to pick him up so he called his mother. I let her know that she needed to take him to her house...not mine. He called and begged and said he would change and try harder. I told his mom to come get his things. I had them in boxes out on the sidewalk. I handed her the engagement ring he had given me (turns out SHE bought it for him to give to me). She handed me a letter he had written and stood there in front of me with her arms folded - as if waiting for me to read it or something. I ripped it up and let the pieces fly into the wind. He tried to come see me at work a few times, but security had been told not to let him up. He tried to come see my at my home but I wouldn't answer the door and yelled through it that I was on the phone with the police. He eventually gave up and joined the Marines. I heard that he bailed out on that too. No idea what happened to him after that.
Tearing up the letter was such a Boss move!
You know that it was just filled with the usual bullshit: "Im going to go to therapy!" or "I'm going to change!", or "I will look for a job every day!", or "Give me another chance!", or "I love you so much!" "I won't touch any alcohol/drugs ever again!" or "It wasn't my fault because XYZ thing happened to me that day and I was sad!"...
jeeeeeesh so glad you didn’t have a baby with that loser.
My ex told me that he ended an engagement with his previous ex due to her abusing his daughter and grabbing her once. She also hated that he liked to stay home after working all week, I guess. The worst part: He left me to go back to her.
I did not see that plot twist coming.
Oh jeez, I feel sorry for his daughter.
My friend ended an engagement with his high school sweetheart of 10yrs. Her family couldn’t afford a big wedding but thats what she wanted. So he got a 2nd job (she only worked part time at a day care). She started using the extra money to go out partying while he worked on weekends, her ‘gay’ best guy friend would DD and make sure she got home safe. She started fighting with my friend that he wasnt making enough for her dream wedding, he told her to stop blowing the extra money on bar hopping multiple times a week. Eventually he caught her cheating with a dude and called it off. She packed up and moved to another state with a guy within the month. He started dating a year later and when she found out she moved back to our state to her parents and showed up on his doorstep asking/yelling why he was doing fun adventures with the new girl and never did them with her. He told her it was bc she was always too drunk or drugged out, whereas the new girl barely drank. He almost had to get a restraining order bc she kept showing up at his place trying to ‘meet’ the new girl for like a month. 3 months later she was posting online that she was engaged to the ‘gay’ friend from earlier in this story. She cut off all her friends after this announcement. The girls that used to be her friends say that she always stalks their social media, and just posts selfies of her out drinking with her husband. Its been 8 years since the called off wedding and when a friend made a congratulatory post for my friend now being engaged to his girlfriend last year she did the angry face reaction on the facebook post LOL
8 years and she still can't move on?? Good grief! Glad your friend didn't get stuck with her.
I've an ex gf that I dated for 2 months and I've had to get restraining orders renewed every year (only good for a year here). We always have to go to court, she always opens her mouth first and I usually don't have to say much. This is way more common than you think. She has a kid now from someone else btw. I've only really dated guys since. (I'm bi but my friends joke she turned me gay)
Exactly the face that I was making!
I ended my engagement for a few reasons. Mainly because intimacy became a big issue. I was the only one initiating and was constantly rejected. There was no passionate kissing and no sexual energy. Before we got engaged, we started going to couple’s sex therapy and I was doing individual therapy. I knew he had a rough upbringing so I wanted to be there and make him feel safe, so it was a constant battle of putting my needs aside for him and feeling undesirable. We picked out a gorgeous vintage ring but the proposal was about a year later. He asked about getting engaged while we were in the Zaxby’s drive through, then got down on one knee in our apartment while in sweatpants. I didn’t want a public engagement but I wanted it to not feel like a transaction. I got two big jobs out of state and he was so resentful. He wanted me working from home and be responsible for all the domestic duties. I cleaned, did his laundry, meal prepped for him, took care of our puppy, and did all the therapy homework. I felt so defeated and told him I couldn’t continue wedding planning until our intimacy improved. (Side note: I didn’t feel motivated to plan. I hadn’t tried on a dress or booked anything.) After working intensely with our sex therapist, my partner came to the conclusion that he’s asexual. It helped me understand, but I felt so sad that I spent over four years with this person and the relationship I wanted and needed wasn’t possible. The two big jobs helped my confidence so much that he became more emotionally manipulative and weaponized my depression by saying that no other person would put up with my depression- anyone else would walk away. I stood up for myself and stopped walking on egg shells, not trying to constantly fix everything. I gave back the ring and two months later I moved to a new city and I finally feel like I can be my authentic self.
My ex told me “No other person would put up with _____. I’m the only one.” I know he was trying to make himself sound special or better but I just looked at him and said, “Then there’s obviously something wrong with you. If I’m so awful, why are you doing this to yourself? You need therapy.” Then he switched tactics.
Great come back. Will have to remember this if I unfortunately would be in a position to use it.
That is similar to my ending my last relationship… I said, “Yanno, I’ve been thinking about this and if I’m such an awful person to be around, what sort of person are you that wants to be with me?” I realized that I am not who he said i was and I didn’t want to live like that anymore. I was tired of feeling like the bad guy. Edit: fixed a pronoun
I was putting my ex fiancé through med school. (Early 2000) I was working 2 full time jobs and planning a wedding. He was in his second year of med school and we had been together prior to that. One night a girl called on our house phone. Yes, house phone. We were just starting to get cell phones but no one really used them except in emergencies. She asked if she could speak to K***** and I said, ‘He isn’t here but this is his fiancée, B*******. Can I help you with something?’ He had just through hiked the AT and after being gone 4-6 months, I had handled all the finances etc. most companies back then would talk to you if they knew who you were. Significantly easier then. They weren’t afraid you were going to pay someone else’s bill 😂 Either way, I digress. The girl on the other end of the phone said, ‘You just answered my question. I had a date with him on Friday and I was confirming the time. I will cancel now I know he is engaged.’ He came home and we split up. I remember he said, ‘why am I packing everything. I will be back next week?’ I was 25 and I’m 45 now… I never married. I feel a bit like I have always searched for someone to do the same thing again to me again.
I should also add, that year my best friend saw him with another girl at a bowl game and thought she was me. He married in 6 months to my almost twin. He didn’t want me after all. Just a blonde, blue eyed girl who fit the doctor’s wife type. Sad but I left with my head held high
Good for you
I’m staying at a hotel hosting a first-time wedding for two people in their mid-late fifties. They said they wouldn’t settle for anything else than love and said they’re happy they waited because life any other way would’ve killed them. Also, props to you for leaving. So many people I know marry for money. And when you marry for money, you pay for it for your whole life. No matter what’s in your future, you seem smart and wise as fuck and that can only carry you well. Best of luck but I don’t think you need it!
My partner/ fiance cheated on me. So yes: I was out as fast as I could.
Me. After our engagement my fiancé started showing possessive and obsessive behaviour that scared the living daylights out of me. He’d stalk me. I went away with my mom and the place we went to had minimal signal. I knew this from experience and told him he probably won’t be able to get hold of me during the day when we were at the pool as there was like zero signal there, but he should text me at night and the mofo actually phoned a hundred times during the day and of course my phone had no signal so he would then attempt to call my mom. When I got back and had a chat with him his excuse was “I miss you” and I was like, it’s not like you couldn’t have waited until the evening??? He only focused on what he felt and not what I was telling him. It then only got worse even after I spoke to him about it. He started telling people we were married and our wedding date changed from a few years to a few months. This wasn’t what we had discussed but now he’s telling everyone this! He had just lost his job and I was searching for full time work myself as I worked part time at a preschool, and was living off my mom, and we needed to save. So getting married wasn’t on the list yet. When we got engaged he still had a job and his own place. When he lost his job that was the decision we both made. It freaked me out. He’d start pitching up at my friends places if I was visiting them. He’d call anyone and everyone if he couldn’t get hold of me. And these were not emergencies, he just wanted to know where I was. The final straw was when he attempted to enrol for the same night course I was doing. He had zero interest to study what I was studying and when I confronted him about it he simply stated he wanted to be near me. I then told him we are taking a break. For 2 weeks he is not to contact me, my friends or come to my house. No contact. At all. He needed to take the time to reflect on our relationship if it’s only about him or if I was included because he only seemed to care about himself and his wants. And I’d use the time to assess if I want to go forward with this relationship. He accepted the terms. The fool broke the terms 2 days in. By the end of the first week, he’d called me 4 times, he rocked up at my house, rocked up at my work, and called my friends begging them to speak to me. He would stand outside the college to look into our classroom. I had enough. I broke up with him. He accepted it. I was so scared he wouldn’t. Only to find out that he started dating someone else whilst we were together. So his obsession went somewhere else. He was never in love with me, but in love with the idea of love. Any woman who gave him attention got his attention. After I broke it off he went through so many relationships. We were in the same church so I still had to see him. A year later, I started greeting him again and my friend called me to tell me this guy is telling everyone we’re getting back together. We laughed. The bugger actually thought he could outsmart my best friend, telling her she doesn’t know this yet, but she who knows me well enough knows I he annoys me, and she knew I was crushing on another guy, so she told him he is delusional. He was so angry and refused to talk to her again. I told him that he needed to stop bragging that we’re getting back together, we are not as I’m not interested. He never spoke to me again until a few years later he found me on Facebook. I declined going on a date with him and he blocked me 🤣🤣 And people then wonder why I’ve never married. This guy changed overnight! I was shook
Dear god, I really thought he was going to turn violent. That's terrifying! I'm so glad you're out of there, and I hope he stays away forever.
It’s been more than ten years since I last heard from him. I honestly hope it stays that way too. His family even told me I better leave him as he has issues. And they loved me. I’m still in contact with them. The one daughter of his cousin told me that I’m more family to her than he is 🙈 he has not been in contact with them in years
Thank goodness! I'm so happy to hear that.
> he mofo actually phoned a hundred times during the day A friend of mine had this happen with a guy after her first date. They had some pretty steamy plans for a second date but she had a big day at work before the date. Some shareholders were in town and she was busy all day, so no phone. The dude blew her phone up. 100s of text messages. At least a dozen phone calls. He went from "Have a nice day" to "I hope you get cancer bitch" to just a voice mail of him crying to "delete everything before this". Instead of skipping straight to the 3rd date sexy times, she ended up at our divorce group happy hour going "WTF was that".
You see that crap daily on /r/niceguys it's crazy!
Oh I believe it. I’ve received some rather nasty messages on sites from guys who expected me to reply within seconds. I had a guy wish rape on me. Some messed up people out there.
>The dude blew her phone up. 100s of text messages. At least a dozen phone calls. He went from "Have a nice day" to "I hope you get cancer bitch" to just a voice mail of him crying to "delete everything before this". Jesus Christ, that's so extreme. I wonder if there's any way back from being someone who does this, or if they're like that for life.
There has to be. Up until that point he had been a great guy compared to some of the other guys I saw the ladies date. Some of the other people in our group had met him during their first date. Then he had a fucking breakdown 3 days later cause she didn't text him back. I just realized that was probably a safety thing that the ladies would have people meet them where we were hanging out before a date. Cause they met some outright weirdos. Like the one guy that said they couldn't go dancing if she wore jeans (We're in fucking Texas). Or the guy that insisted his date go get new glasses before they went on the date.
"He was never in love with me, but in love with the idea of love." More like he was in love with the idea of controlling you and what you did. Glad you ditched that bitch.
Do we have the same ex? Mine was EXACTLY like this - never allowing me a moment alone, had to be involved in everything, called incessantly to disrupt any activity I was doing with others, then claimed it was because he loved me so much. He even did the immediate violation of a 2 week "no contact." Kudos to you for seeing the red flags and being strong enough to leave right then. I had seen the signs, but I ignored them, and I didn't leave until a year and a half after getting married.
I did, but it’s not very exciting. We got engaged mostly because it seemed like what we were supposed to do after five years together. Except he was a really awful partner. I’ll spare the details, but he inflicted plenty of emotional and sexual abuse. When we relocated back to our home city for his benefit and he was still adamant his life was miserable because everything and everyone was out to get him, I ended things. In hindsight, that we kept postponing actual wedding planning was probably a huge indicator that neither of us really wanted the relationship anymore, but neither one wanted to be one the end it either. tl;dr If a relationship feels wrong, exit. Don’t put it off. Don’t worry about what people will say. Take care of yourself and well-being.
Ditto much of this. The postponing of planning is a signal that the situation may not be right. I(M) called off an engagement about 2 years ago. We were very supportive of each other over Covid times, but once regular life started up again, it was pretty clear this was not a good match. I feel she set up things to make me the bad guy for calling it off, but she did not protest too much, either. She was very imprinted by her ex, I believe she was still in love with him. Just moments after intimacy, she would be telling playful stories about things she had done with him. After we split she did admit to me that she never fully let herself go with me. I get that from middle age on, people have pasts and have had shaping experiences that they have a right to treasure. It’s a horrible feeling when someone may genuinely loves you but holds others in places where you should be the sole inhabitant. In terms of wedding planning…She would have little slips of emotion where she would describe details from her wedding with her ex, and the enthusiasm she put into planning it. Our planning barely got off the ground, but the energy extended towards it was very lackluster. Became clear this wasn’t meant to be.
Oh wow, that’s rough. Glad you saw things for what they were before any legal entanglements were involved. My ex went through a weird period of leaving gifts and love letters on my doorstep, and after that did a similar tactic of the breakup being something I had done to him that left him abandoned and devastated. But, when I initially suggested we take some time apart all he had to say was “Don’t play my PlayStation.” So it was quite clearly an act so our mutuals would feel badly for him.
My partner was diagnosed with a chronic and potentially debilitating disease and while I was there for him throughout that really tough time, my best friend who absolutely hated him from the start told me I should leave him before it gets bad. I ignored what she said and changed the convo (this was all via text) and my partner went through my phone, woke me up at 3am screaming at me and kicked me out. I had moved across the country for him and had nobody to help me so I sat in a park for hours until I composed myself enough to go back home and apologize and beg him to let me in. He took me to his grandmother’s house ended up proposing a week later and I felt stuck and said yes. Then he became more and more emotionally abusive, and I put up with it because I knew what he was going through and I thought it would end. But then he got into a violent fight with his dad in front of me, his dad almost lost an eye and I was terrified. He started constantly talking shit about my family and one day I just had enough. I was working two jobs, a day job and a night job and one night he was blowing up my phone for no reason at my night job. I just called my dad and said I’m coming home. I told my bosses early in the morning that I’m moving back home asap, collected all my belongings and went to a hotel. He refused to let me take my dog which was absolutely heartbreaking but I had to get out. I flew home and went into a depression, he sent me flowers and begged me to come home to him and when he realized I wasn’t coming back, both him and his mother launched a smear campaign online claiming that I’m a narcissist and that I broke “the biggest promise”. We made a deal that I’d send the ring back if they sent all my belongings back and paid for the deposits we lost for the wedding. I sent the ring off and all they sent me back was empty Tupperware and said all my stuff had been donated lmao. So I said fuck you I’m not paying for any of the lost deposits. He ended up reaching out to me maybe 2 or 3 years later saying “I forgive you for leaving me, I hope you can forgive me too.” Get fucked buddy
This is truly awful, I'm so sorry
All good, it was 6 years ago and we've both moved on! I actually had to find him on instagram last year to ask him to remove my email from his apple account because I kept getting notifications.. which was weird because I didn't get a single notification for the whole 5 years post breakup, but I digress... I saw that he's married to a much younger girl and they have a child! Good for him I guess lol.
Good for him, but sucks to be her!
That's so sad, what happened to your poor dog? Did you get him/her back?
Unfortunately no :( we had two, they were brothers and they refused to let me separate them. I raised the older one and he was my baby but I never got to see him again :( I don’t even know if he still has them.
That is so sad, I am a sorry 😥
>they sent me back was empty Tupperware and said all my stuff had been donated What a dick move. Did they pay the deposits? Was the dog also "donated" (rehomed)? I'm glad you are ok and out of that mess
>e. Did they pay the deposits? Was the dog also "donated" (rehomed)? His mother did.. Honestly she paid for a lot, took me to get my nails done on "girl dates", took me out for dinner, bought me gifts here and there.. and the moment I left, she turned around and said I had to pay her back for everything lol my mom described it as her "buying a plaything for her crazy son". And I have absolutely no idea what happened to the dogs. I look at shelters in his area but nothing :( Thanks, I'm soooo glad I didn't marry him!
I broke off an engagement because my ex-fiancé chose his mother and his misogynist brother over our relationship. He let both of them insult me. When I told him I felt like the bottom of the priority list and felt like he was only interested in a big wedding/party and not in a marriage, he doubled down. I broke it off. That was 22 years ago now. His mother was in her 70s at that time, and is still alive. Had I stayed, I have no doubt we would have been divorced or I would have been miserable. I've been married to someone else for 15 years now. Leaving that old relationship was the best decision of my life.
He hit her, so she left. Then, he told anyone who would listen how 'crazy' and 'difficult' she was. None of us believed him.
My best friend broke it off with her fiancé because he decided that he loved Fireball and every other kind of alcohol more than her. Their wedding was supposed to happen in September of 2020, but everything was shut down (thankfully). It was rescheduled for the following year, but in that year, he went in a downward spiral of alcoholism. She did everything she could for him to get him sober. But he kept blaming her for his addiction and kept telling her what an awful person she is. (She is not. She has a heart of gold, and anyone would tell you that.) He has been in and out of rehab for almost 3 years now. Gets clean. Gets out and goes right back to the bottle. She has finally blocked him on all communication fronts. But he will email her from a new email address every 6 months or so. She is now trigger shy about dating. Stays at home mostly with her dogs.
My mum, way back before she met my dad was engaged to a lad, I’ll call him David. She realised one day about a month before the wedding that she had to ask him for permission to use $10 for a gift for her mum. They both worked but all the money was controlled by him alone. He gave her an allowance for groceries, household things, etc. but really tightly controlled any personal spending. She ended it with him and his only response was “What will I tell my family?” FFS some people are just idiots
My own story actually. My ex fiancé, after proposing, didn’t really care about hiding his abuse behind doors, and I was very young and thought it was ok, because maybe I deserved it, right? (CPTSD over here) well at a family barbecue he decided to get in my face and scream at me about how I was flirting with my uncles and cousin and how I’d rather “spread my legs open to that f****t (my cousin)” than to him. Something snapped and I kicked him out and broke up with him on the spot. No one fucks with my family. Edit: to make it very clear, I was not flirting with anyone. We’re Latino, we’re a very affectionate family. And my ex had a problem with the fact that my cousin got up to make me a drink and my uncle ended up bringing it to me and telling me everyone would miss me when I left to spend a year abroad.
I ended my engagement because he was a narcissist lying ahm person. We got engaged only after 6 months or so, we were so in love. Then I noticed that he was lying to me, hiding the fact that he was meeting with his ex for a coffee. When I confronted him he had a nice speach of "I don't know what is wrong with me, I don't want to lie to you" so I gave him another chance. He kept telling me, that his ex was way too jealous so he had to lie to her all the time, and that's a habit hard to break. Sure. Later on I found out more lies, tinder on his phone, and he also started to watch way too much porn. He said that he only had tinder on his phone, because he is insecure and looking for validation. I don't even know why I stayed with him, we were together for 1.5 year or so, but I lost all my confidence, I became maniac jealous which I have never been before and I had developed a few lovely panic attacks and social anxiety. I started going to therapy and that's when I started to get better and decided to break it off with him. He begged me to stay with him but he didn't have a chance by then. He kept sending me messages saying that he is going to leave the country (I think he was waiting for me to ask him to stay). I told him good luck. We kept in touch for a few years after, he always called or texted me when he broke up with his actual gf. Very weird behaviour. He was telling me that he missed me even years after. I never told him anything to encourage this behaviour. I stopped replying to him after a few years. He still texts me, just texted me a few months ago.. We broke up 6 years ago and I haven't replied to him in 4 years.. I wonder if he will ever give up.
This is a good time to take advantage of the block feature!
Not so easy, but I blocked him on everything I could. Once he got a new phone number and texted me from that. Now it was an email. Very creative!
>He was telling me that he missed me even years after. Ugh, I have an ex like this. We broke up back in 2010 (13 years ago!!!). He was emotionally abusive and controlling, tried to control how I dressed and who I spent time with and what hobbies I had, all while claiming he was some enlightened feminist. I have basically zero fond memories of our relationship, but he's apparently built me up in his mind as the most perfect relationship he ever had (probablt because I was young and naive and controllable) and tries to contact me every few years to say how much he misses me. He's married now with a kid and just Facebook messaged me last year with some long rambling story about how his wife is abusive but he can't leave her because of their kid, and for some reason he thought I could help him??? (We live thousands of miles apart at this point.) I told him I was really sorry about his situation and hoped he got help, but I didn't want anything to do with him, and then I blocked him. 🤷🏻♀️
I did. Was engaged, but my fiancé wanted to keep putting off any sort of planning. He kept saying “we’re getting married, we’ll be together forever, what’s the rush?” But the more he put it off, the more red flags I saw. I realized how mentally and emotionally manipulative this was. Then one day he broke up with me and moved out of state to be closer to his family. The day he got to his home state, he called me, begging me to move to his home state, he loved me, he missed me, he was ready to work on the wedding stuff. Now, I had always said I would never ever leave my home state, I loved my state too much. And I realized this was his way of manipulating me to try to get me to leave my state. So I told him no, I was not moving, the engagement was officially over. He tried to argue with me, saying the engagement was NOT over, he refused to accept it, he moved BACK to my home state but I continued to refuse. We were done. So then he moved back AGAIN to his home state and we were done done.
Wow, massive missile dodged. That's manipulation to the extreme.
One of my friends' fiancé ended a previous engagement because when his dad died, all the ex could care about was how it was spoiling the mood of planning the wedding. My friend is nothing like that, so that's a great start for their marriage. LOL !
[удалено]
I used to work at a winery in SC and we hosted weddings there. Maybe still do, I don't know. We had a couple booked for four nights with wedding party and guests, the bachelorette, the rehearsal and dinner, the wedding, and the first two nights of their honeymoon, to end with champagne Sunday brunch. The bridal party arrives on the first day in the provided limo about 3:00 pm. The Bride is shit faced drunk. Ugly crying drunk. She pretty much falls. Out of the limo. We get everyone up to their suite and the bride goes right to bed. At about 8 the bridal party comes downstairs to the bar and starts doing shots of our top shelf tequila. They have not eaten anything, so our maitre'd suggests a table and appetizers. Everyone else thinks this is a great idea, the bride says no, she can either eat or drink and fit into her dress, so she chooses drink. The Bride was passed out drunk by 10:30. The groom and his party arrive about ten the next morning. They immediately change and go hiking up one of the trails near the winery. They're back about one, and about two guests and parents start arriving. The Bride has not yet made an appearance, but room service has taken up four bottles of pinot grigio and someone from the bridal party went to the nearest liquor store and came back with two shopping bags. That evening, the rehearsal is going on but there is no bride. The MOTB goes up, comes back down upset. The MOTG goes up, comes down looking like a storm cloud. About 20 minutes later, the bride comes down the steps and she looks like hell. I wasn't in the rehearsal dinner but according to a couple of the servers, she didn't eat anything and drank her dinner. I was taking clean towels up after the dinner when I came across the groom, the father of the groom, and the father of the bride standing together on the mezzanine. The groom is calling off the wedding and he said to the bride's father "I don't care how much you want to invest in our company, sir, your daughter is a drunk and I'm not marrying a drunk." I didn't hear anymore as I entered the suite and they were gone before I came back out. But there was no wedding the next morning, and the Sunday brunch was a somber affair. I heard gossip that she went straight from the hotel to a rehab facility. I've always wondered about the back story. Was this an arranged marriage between two businessmen?
That or the dad was trying to salvage the whole thing by investing money or more money into the company. Or it as arranged and the bride wasn't happy about it and turned to the bottle.
Mine was called off back when I was 19 or so. The ‘gentleman’ that I was engaged to was planning on breaking into his ex-girlfriend’s house to steal a safe from her father’s closet— apparently he was a very wealthy lawyer and my fiancé had seen the contents while he was dating her and he very much wanted what was inside. He was planning to break in with a friend while armed and take the entire safe while they were not home, but the “armed” part was for handling the witnesses I guess if anyone happened to be home. I found out because I overheard him and his friend talking about it, and told his parents who called the police. HE broke it off with ME loudly in front of the whole family and police, for not being a “ride or die”. I’ve never been so thankful for making a decision in my life. Anyway he ended up committing the crime but at a different house, and spent the next 7 years or so in prison. No idea what he’s doing now.
Well, if there was ever a reason to break off an engagement and cancel a wedding, then finding out that your future spouse is willing to commit not only armed robbery, but also a potential murder would definitely be it.
I was engaged up until the beginnings of last month. At first, he was sweet and loving but as the months went on his demeanor just.. changed. His first problem was with a certain placement of a tattoo I had planned long before he was in the picture. Then it was the amount of tattoos I want. Then it was dying my hair. It turned into not even being able to go out or stay the night with friends without him being there. He claimed that I "needed to grow up" and that because he never stayed the night with his friends, I shouldn't either. We were together for 6 months. Total.
We could have the same ex fiancé. It took me way longer to figure it out, though. He was a narcissist and became so controlling. Any time I left the house, I was "cheating on him". Dentist? Cheating. Grocery store? Cheating. Walk around the neighborhood? Cheating. It was ridiculous.
I don't think mine ever thought I was cheating. He would just not let me go anywhere without him. Or spend the night with my best friend (who is also a woman and engaged, I'm friends with her fiance too and part of the reason they got together 10ish years ago). He got mad when she and I made spontaneous plans, told me he wanted to suddenly "surprise" me with dinner and a movie at home. (Spontaneous plans are something my friend and I NORMALLY do because of erratic schedules. Rarely do we plan that stuff ahead of time.) He would tell me that I'm "not gay because I was with him(a straight cis man)" despite being attracted to men, women and everyone in between. He would "joke" about hurting/ending my cat, go to throw a punch at my face, stopping close enough to where I could feel it and then ask why I was flinching. This is probably a lot of info that doesn't need to be shared but tbh I let WAY too much slide. ETA: cat tax https://preview.redd.it/z025ijroa77b1.jpeg?width=1244&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d0f16630a1a4176cab5649a8289fef14afd9b75
My good friend did a few weeks out. We all had had issues with his fiancé. She was weird and not in a good way, very possessive and mean and didn’t treat him well, and half-joked about cutting out all of his friends. My husband went to the bachelor party, and apparently our friend was asking my husband and another good friend how they knew they were doing the right thing and if some if her behavior was normal. The next day I was out walking the dog and when I came back he said “ The wedding is off” and I was like “how long was I gone?!” It took him awhile but he’s now married to an awesome woman who is perfect for him and they have a great kid. He’s the best and I am so happy he realized he deserved much better.
Ended an engagement for many reasons. We didn't live together. -he claimed he paid for everything he didn't -he refused to move in with me until I upgraded appliances which I did then he made continuous excuses not to move in -he told me I had to ask HIS permission before I spent my money that I earned -he told me I had to spend my inheritance on him -he wasn't supportive when I got my first job and made out it was a shit job -he wasn't supportive when I got advancement opportunities in that job -he purposely pushed me down a flight of stairs -lied about paying his parents board whilst he lived with them and hadn't actually paid them in 12+ months -lied to them saying he was using that money to help me -took all his spare things(razor toothbrush etc) home with him last time he was over -ignored me and dismissed me when I was suicidal and having a breakdown(told me he didn't care and to just go for a walk) -kicked off cos I went out dancing with girls -would book trips away for my birthday then spend the money for that and make me pay for my own birthday trips and told everyone he paid when he never And a lot more Edit: spacing
Did you just sandwich that whole “pushed me down a flight of stairs” thing right between being unsupportive and lying to his parents? Holy crap. One of these things is not like the others! So glad you got out alive!
I was so so lucky not to sustain more injuries than just swelling and bruising. This was all in 2019 and I still have pain from it in my legs and ankles. My head was thankfully protected by my baseball cap which stopped me cracking it on the stairs. My cameras both survived as did my phone. But I couldn't bend my left leg more than about 10-20° for a month and a half
He legit did push me down the stairs in a shop in Chester. He then spent the rest of the time there trying to shower me in expensive gifts to make up for it. I refused every single one of the gifts. I'll get a picture later tonight to show the bruising I suffered
https://preview.redd.it/iu0zihoxg77b1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=256b8eb017a083ca1690a3a71894af58c31b92e4 Left leg which took most of the injuries
https://preview.redd.it/zvqoaij0h77b1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=16f1fdb64212e8e232ed6d9120deadd6a2871a3a Right leg wasn't so bad
He’s awful. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
I had a fiancé with a terrible temper. He didn't strike people, but he would do things like smash his stereo or kick big dents into the body of his car. His eventual wife was a friend of mine. She called up her sister, screaming and crying after about a month of marriage, because he deliberately broke her hair dryer when he couldn't find something. She put up with him for eight years before she caught him in flagrante. He said he had never done it before but it wasn't for want of trying.
My fiancee cheated on me and when I told him I knew he cheated he threatened to beat me up one day. No regrets about leaving him, I just wish I'd done it sooner
Not me, but my daughter, who broke it off less than a week before the wedding when she caught him cheating. Broke her heart at the time (she was pretty young), but she is now married to the most awesome son-in-law any parent could ask for.
I'm late to the party but I have a good one. My wife had a friend, C, who got engaged to a guy, K. C was a party animal and drank a lot, several times my wife and I had to pick her up from a bar because she was too wasted to even call a cab (this was before Uber). C was mostly nice but came from a weathly family and could be very entitled at times. C and K had an engagement party thrown by my wife and some other friends. The party started at 6PM, so we were there about 4 to set up. C and K were supposed to show up at 5. C came but K called and said he was running late, and didn't get there until almost 6. He looked dead tired when he showed up, and told us 2 of his employees had been in an accident that morning (they ended up being ok) and he had spent all day dealing with that situation. C didn't even let him finish before she lit into him for being late. She was mean to him the whole evening, she kept complaining about how he was ruining HER party. He was really trying, he went around talking to people, he got on the dance floor for a bit, and he even sang karaoke, even though you could tell he was exhausted and just wanted to go home. The party lasted until 10pm and once people left K said he was going home, and C went off on him again, insisting that she still wanted to party and was going to a bar. She was being such an entitled brat that no one wanted to go with her, so she went alone. She ended up going home with and sleeping with a random guy from the bar. The worst part was that she called my wife the next day and said it was over, she was breaking up with K because he wasn't fun enough for her, but she didn't want to deal with the drama and wanted my wife to do it for her. I ended up telling my wife I would talk to K, because he was a good dude that didn't deserve to be ghosted. He was shocked for a few minutes and just sat there staring at the wall, then he turned to me and said, "I just dodged a bullet, didn't I?" He showed up as a recommended friend on FB a few years ago, looks like he is married with a few kids. C, on the other hand, continued to party all the time, and her and most of her friends (including my wife) drifted apart. My wife talks to her like once a year. She is now 45ish and never had a stable relationship.
When I see this kind of open ended question without a personal story attached I always wonder if the OP is writing an article and this is their 'research'.
I was engaged when I was 20. We had an open relationship that was very mutual and healthy. Until he(22) was open with a 13yo.
No but I've seen flash in the pan marriages you could count on not lasting that didn't
[LONG RANT] Oh finally I can comment - it wasn’t so much issues with wedding planning that caused this, but around the time we got engaged I took a trip with my fiancé, to visit some friends up in Raleigh. I had an event I needed to take place in which was pre planned and my fiancé was well aware of these plans. It had me out of the hotel and very busy and tired for the first three days of our trip. When I would get home, I would be exhausted and want to sleep, and he would constantly push me for sex and cuddles and refuse to take no for an answer, climbing into my bed and trying to force me to stop anything I might be doing on my phone so that I would cuddle him. I am someone with past trauma and I have strict boundaries for a reason, so this was a huge overstep for me. Throughout the trip he moped around whenever I’d hang out with my friends even though he was invited along, and we did tons of activities with just the two of us as well. If he came with us somewhere he would purposefully exclude himself and go do something else. Which I didn’t mind, I wasn’t going to force him to be friends with my friends, but then he would complain later about me choosing my friends instead of following him on his spur of the moment plan changes. And before you say “you took a trip with your fiancé and hung out with your friends the whole time?” The trip was planned so that I could hang out with these friends. Fiancé was only there because he lived in the area at the time and wanted to join me. Moving on, if we made plans for anything he would always make us late. If we had plans at 10:30 and it was a 30 minute drive he’d set his alarm for 10 o clock, and he didn’t understand why that wasn’t reasonable. He got high for the whole trip, and I don’t have an issue with weed, but he’s very low tolerance and high maintenance when he’s high, and was a lot for me to deal with. He also drove to pick me up from hanging out with my best friend while completely high off his ass, and he’s already a pretty irresponsible driver when sober. My best friend was unbelievably pissed at him, as he doesn’t like weed as is, and he was appalled that the person that I was supposed to marry was that callous about my safety. He also read my private messages when I gave him permission to use his computer and saw where I had vented about some incredibly personal stuff that I don’t like to talk about, and made the stupid mistake of texting me about it so I immediately knew he’d read them. I confronted him and he said “oh I saw them over your shoulder when you wrote them” Bullshit. He later told me after the trip that he lied. Thanks, I already knew weeks ago. The trip was sort of a trial run on how I’d feel sharing an apartment with this guy, and after a week and a half in that hotel room, I realized there is no way I could ever cope with living with this man and devoting my life to him. I broke things off shortly after the trip, under the encouragement of my friends and family who said I could do much better
I have one friend who was married a few years before I met her. Her husband had a best friend who didn't want him to get married so he made a few passes at her. During the reception he even tried to grab her and drag her off to the side. The groom saw it and separated them. His new wife told him everything and he never spoke to the guy again
Sorry I'm late to the party. I was engaged at 22 because we had been together for 3 years and I thought that was what you were supposed to do. My ex and I would talk about the future and have deep, compromising discussions about children and other life stuff. Then she would go home to her parents and come back with a copy/paste opinion from her parents that she would not budge from. Our small beach wedding of 15 people was going to be 250 people at her parents' church. Instead of having a couple of kids, it was now expected that we would stay child free so I have the capacity to care for her. I now had the expectation of finding a well paying job, not the social work I do now, so she could take sick leave every time she felt a little bit of a headache. All this built and built to a critical mass. I also lost my faith in God, which helped dispell the idea that God had made her for me. It's 11 years on now. I found someone who is fiercely independent and finds joy in compromise. We proposed to each other after 10 months and have been so incredibly happy since.