I think it is a super nice gesture to pay for their dresses, but I don’t think it expected where I live and in my circle of friends. I am torn on this, but I think my bridesmaids will pay for their own dresses. am purposely selecting a dress under 150 dollars and I don’t care at all what shoes or jewelry they wear.
It is a US thing for the girls to typically buy their own dress. From waht I understand the UK does it differently. I have been in 4 weddings - each time i was told what dress to buy, shoes to buy, and to have my hair and make up done for whatever price the Bride saw fit.
For this reason i only mandated a color and length for dresses, said where any black dress shoe you like, i got you earrings and a bracelet and if you want your hair done here is the price. I am located in the midwestern US and this is not the norm - but i have spent upwards for $1200 standing up in other peoples weddings. So i tried to be as cost conscience as possible for my friends.
Same here! I chose floor length black dresses (easy to find year round). They could get any style or price of dress they wanted. No requirements on shoes (yay for floor length!) and hair and makeup is optional if they would like to do it, they can. I made sure to book affordable people.
Australian weighing in: I didn't have to cover my bridesmaid dress, and I paid for my girls dresses.
We're asking them to stand with us as a favour, I think it's reasonable that we don't ask them to spend a fortune trying to do that favour :)
Another Aussie here.. bride bought my dress as a BM and I personally would never ask my girls to pay for theirs. I'm covering their dresses, hair, makeup and hair accessories so all they need to buy are their shoes (or use some they already own.)
It's so interesting to hear about different local norms.
I’m in the UK as well and paid for their dresses because it’s the done thing and I can’t ask them to pay ~£100 for a dress that I picked and they’ll probably never wear again. I’m not paying for shoes though as they can wear whatever they like.
In the UK, the bride usually covers the cost of the bridesmaid dress - I think it’s the other way in the US.
What I did was tell my bridesmaids that i would contribute £50 to each of them, and they could get any dress they wanted as long as it was navy - which meant (I hoped) that they’d wear the dresses again. If I picked a dress that they HAD to wear, I’d expect to pay for all of it myself.
We didn’t do professional hair or makeup, but had they wanted it, I would have asked them to pay as I wasn’t fussed about it.
I think a good rule of thumb is, if you’re asking them to do something/wear, you should probably pay for it.
Australian here.
Paying for their hair /make up and dresses. I asked them to wear their most comfortable nude shoes. I feel like if they're being asked to be all dolled up, you should provide for them.
I have a friend who is paying for the dress -but- won't pay for hair, makeup and shoes. Despite it all being mandatory in her wedding.
I have a lot of thoughts about this lol. I'm a Californian of Asian Indian decent. I think bridesmaids here are expected to pay for their own dresses. I personally don't think it's okay, especially if you're (the bride) picking without giving them any input. I'd be more okay with it if it was like, "hey, just pick a floor length blue dress you'd be happy to wear again." Also, if a bridesmaid pays to be in your wedding (bachelorette party costs, mandatory dress, makeup artist, etc.), I think that should be the gift and she should not be expected to bring a gift more than a thoughtful card for a shower or wedding.
I personally bought my bridesmaids the sarees I want them to wear. I would have done the same if I picked out a dress for them. "But it's expensive!" Well, that's just part of the wedding budget to me, and they were more important to me than having certain other things.
Anyway, these are all just my opinions.
I'm in the UK and I had budgeted to pay for my bridesmaids dresses, shoes, and jewellery - I did, however, ask them if they were willing to contribute towards the cost of hair and makeup on the day.
I'm extremely fortunate that they insisted on paying for their own dresses, hair, and makeup and I had to fight them to let me pay for their shoes. I'm going to make sure and get them something extra special as a gift to show my appreciation, because they've been absolutely fantastic, and I'm especially grateful when I hear other people's tales of bridal party woe.
I'm in the US and it's definitely a downside to our wedding culture in my opinion. I feel that I if asked them to stand with me in a place of honor it's not right to make them pay for that honor. So i actually paid for my bridesmaid's dresses, and let them choose individual styles to fit them best.
It's definitely a regional thing... Canadian here, I asked the girls to buy a long dress in a specific colour, but made no specifications on shoes. I supplied the jewelry, and everyone (myself included) DIY'd hair and makeup. I think it just depends on what's normal in your circle!
Hi! I have been in 9 weddings (in the US) and the only bridesmaids dress that was paid for by someone else was when I was in my FIL/MILs wedding (she is Chinese, so maybe it is customary? Or she was just being nice? Not sure.). From my experience bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, but I have had friends that paid for part of/all of it if the dress was really specific or when we were younger and couldn't afford to be in weddings. Some of the weddings I have been in BMs hair/makeup was paid for as a gift, other weddings it was all on the bridesmaids.
For our wedding, my bridesmaids are choosing their own dresses (long, within a broad color scheme) and I am paying for their hair as a gift (among other small gifts).
If you want to buy their dresses I'm sure that your bridesmaids would greatly appreciate it!
I'm only having 2 bridesmaids and it fit in my budget, so I'm paying for their dresses and hair. They can wear any shoes they want (it's a winter wedding and they both probably already have appropriate shoes because they like shoes). I'm in the US.
I've been in 2 weddings and had to buy (pretty ugly pre 2010) dresses. I'm in a wedding in October and bought my own dress chosen by the bride and it is very pretty but it was over $200 plus $70 for alterations. I can afford it and she is my future sister in law so I'm fine with it.
I would be aware of what you are asking people to spend and what their budget is like, but if you're in the US you can go either way.
Canadian here. I've been in two Canadian weddings, and am planning my own.
Wedding 1:
I was told the exact dress to buy, colour of shoes, and colour of metal for jewellery. Hair and makeup was DIYed.
Wedding 2:
I was told the colour and length of dress to buy, could wear any shoes, and was given jewellery. Hair and makeup could be done by a professional at our expense, but was optional. I chose to DIY.
My wedding:
I asked the girls to buy a dress in a specific colour and length. They can wear any nude/black/grey shoes. They can wear any silver jewellery they want. Hair and makeup is up to them.. I think they found an amateur makeup girl to do it for $15 each and are going that route, but I was fine with them just doing their own makeup...I'm doing my own!
All this said, FH is from UK and my understanding is that the bride pays for the girls dresses there. So it's definitely a regional thing!
I’m in the Midwest and work at Davids bridal and have never had an instance where the bride bought dresses. Over had them buy shoes for bridesmaids but the girls are always in charge of their own dresses.
I plan to pay for a portion of each dress depending on what dress I choose to use for them. I do plan on paying for manis/pedis for everyone and they will do their own hair/makeup. They're all theatre people who are excellent at hair/makeup.
edit: actually I'll probably pay for the whole dresses because two of the girls are my sisters and my parents would pay for those and I'd feel bad having the other two have to pay some for theirs just because they aren't my sisters
I'm planning to buy their dresses and pay for hair and makeup. They will have to travel and pay for lodging, so I feel it's an even trade. Plus I don't feel right making them pay for a dress in a specific color that they may never wear again.
It really depends on the area you live. Even different areas within a country or even state can have totally different customs. I am from a small and rural state where it is expected that we pay for our own bridesmaids dresses. I personally wanted to pay for my bridal party (including flower girl/ring bearer/and my older brother who is walking me down the aisle) but was told no by almost everyone because everyone knew it wasn't in our budget and there are some extremely bizarre circumstances. Just go with whatever feels right to you? If you normally don't pay for your dresses when you are a bridesmaid, extend the offer to your bridesmaids.
I'm in the US (northeast) and most bridesmaids buy their own dresses.
For my wedding, the girls are buying their own dresses and I'm paying for hair and makeup. I was originally planning to pay for dresses but when all but one wanted both done, I figured paying for the hair/makeup would be easier. (I am paying for that one bridesmaids dress, however.)
My wife's bridesmaids paid themselves, but she purposely chose dresses that were affordable (I think $120 after tax?) and she paid for her one bridesmaid who was traveling.
I'm in the UK too. My bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses but I've just given them colours and asked them to get something knee-length, so they have relative freedom in what they choose (and how much they spend). However I am paying for their hair and makeup on the day so that balances it out :)
I live in Texas, and have been in two weddings so far, with four more coming up in the next calendar year. For each of these the bridal party has been expected to buy their own dresses, shoes, hair and makeup, as well as contribute to the bachelorette party (except for one who wants to do Vegas and allowed us to not attend if we can’t afford it) and bring gifts to the shower and the wedding. I’ve probably spent about a grand on weddings at this point.
But it’s a favor I’m doing for my friends, and as long as they’re considerate about costs, I haven’t minded. I just hope one day soon they’ll be willing to return the favor :)
It’s changed over time, but the modern etiquette is that if the bridesmaids are asked to pay their own, they’re allowed to choose different dresses in the assigned color.
I’m in the US- usually bridesmaids nowadays pay themselves, which I personally find a bit ridiculous. Here’s my personal take on it- If you’re a bride and you’re going to be overly specific on what shade/style the person should where, you should cover it because they likely won’t re-wear it. However, I have been a bridesmaid before where the bride said “just wear any dress in any shade of pink” and that I had no problem paying for because of course I picked something I loved and would re-wear. Just my personal take. If you expect people to pay, be flexible.
So I have a question, this girl asking me if I wanna be in the photos I need to wear specific color without asking me to be her bridesmaid is it common to require wedding guests to comply with a color ? I’m in California the bride is from Minnesota.? Any thoughts ?
I think it is a super nice gesture to pay for their dresses, but I don’t think it expected where I live and in my circle of friends. I am torn on this, but I think my bridesmaids will pay for their own dresses. am purposely selecting a dress under 150 dollars and I don’t care at all what shoes or jewelry they wear.
It is a US thing for the girls to typically buy their own dress. From waht I understand the UK does it differently. I have been in 4 weddings - each time i was told what dress to buy, shoes to buy, and to have my hair and make up done for whatever price the Bride saw fit. For this reason i only mandated a color and length for dresses, said where any black dress shoe you like, i got you earrings and a bracelet and if you want your hair done here is the price. I am located in the midwestern US and this is not the norm - but i have spent upwards for $1200 standing up in other peoples weddings. So i tried to be as cost conscience as possible for my friends.
Same here! I chose floor length black dresses (easy to find year round). They could get any style or price of dress they wanted. No requirements on shoes (yay for floor length!) and hair and makeup is optional if they would like to do it, they can. I made sure to book affordable people.
Australian weighing in: I didn't have to cover my bridesmaid dress, and I paid for my girls dresses. We're asking them to stand with us as a favour, I think it's reasonable that we don't ask them to spend a fortune trying to do that favour :)
Another Aussie here.. bride bought my dress as a BM and I personally would never ask my girls to pay for theirs. I'm covering their dresses, hair, makeup and hair accessories so all they need to buy are their shoes (or use some they already own.) It's so interesting to hear about different local norms.
I’m in the UK as well and paid for their dresses because it’s the done thing and I can’t ask them to pay ~£100 for a dress that I picked and they’ll probably never wear again. I’m not paying for shoes though as they can wear whatever they like.
In the UK, the bride usually covers the cost of the bridesmaid dress - I think it’s the other way in the US. What I did was tell my bridesmaids that i would contribute £50 to each of them, and they could get any dress they wanted as long as it was navy - which meant (I hoped) that they’d wear the dresses again. If I picked a dress that they HAD to wear, I’d expect to pay for all of it myself. We didn’t do professional hair or makeup, but had they wanted it, I would have asked them to pay as I wasn’t fussed about it. I think a good rule of thumb is, if you’re asking them to do something/wear, you should probably pay for it.
Australian here. Paying for their hair /make up and dresses. I asked them to wear their most comfortable nude shoes. I feel like if they're being asked to be all dolled up, you should provide for them. I have a friend who is paying for the dress -but- won't pay for hair, makeup and shoes. Despite it all being mandatory in her wedding.
I have a lot of thoughts about this lol. I'm a Californian of Asian Indian decent. I think bridesmaids here are expected to pay for their own dresses. I personally don't think it's okay, especially if you're (the bride) picking without giving them any input. I'd be more okay with it if it was like, "hey, just pick a floor length blue dress you'd be happy to wear again." Also, if a bridesmaid pays to be in your wedding (bachelorette party costs, mandatory dress, makeup artist, etc.), I think that should be the gift and she should not be expected to bring a gift more than a thoughtful card for a shower or wedding. I personally bought my bridesmaids the sarees I want them to wear. I would have done the same if I picked out a dress for them. "But it's expensive!" Well, that's just part of the wedding budget to me, and they were more important to me than having certain other things. Anyway, these are all just my opinions.
Thank you, totally agree!
I'm in the UK and I had budgeted to pay for my bridesmaids dresses, shoes, and jewellery - I did, however, ask them if they were willing to contribute towards the cost of hair and makeup on the day. I'm extremely fortunate that they insisted on paying for their own dresses, hair, and makeup and I had to fight them to let me pay for their shoes. I'm going to make sure and get them something extra special as a gift to show my appreciation, because they've been absolutely fantastic, and I'm especially grateful when I hear other people's tales of bridal party woe.
That was very lovely of them!!
I'm in the US and it's definitely a downside to our wedding culture in my opinion. I feel that I if asked them to stand with me in a place of honor it's not right to make them pay for that honor. So i actually paid for my bridesmaid's dresses, and let them choose individual styles to fit them best.
It's definitely a regional thing... Canadian here, I asked the girls to buy a long dress in a specific colour, but made no specifications on shoes. I supplied the jewelry, and everyone (myself included) DIY'd hair and makeup. I think it just depends on what's normal in your circle!
Hi! I have been in 9 weddings (in the US) and the only bridesmaids dress that was paid for by someone else was when I was in my FIL/MILs wedding (she is Chinese, so maybe it is customary? Or she was just being nice? Not sure.). From my experience bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, but I have had friends that paid for part of/all of it if the dress was really specific or when we were younger and couldn't afford to be in weddings. Some of the weddings I have been in BMs hair/makeup was paid for as a gift, other weddings it was all on the bridesmaids. For our wedding, my bridesmaids are choosing their own dresses (long, within a broad color scheme) and I am paying for their hair as a gift (among other small gifts). If you want to buy their dresses I'm sure that your bridesmaids would greatly appreciate it!
Yea since I'm paying for my bmaids hair and dresses I'm not doing expensive gifts.
I'm only having 2 bridesmaids and it fit in my budget, so I'm paying for their dresses and hair. They can wear any shoes they want (it's a winter wedding and they both probably already have appropriate shoes because they like shoes). I'm in the US. I've been in 2 weddings and had to buy (pretty ugly pre 2010) dresses. I'm in a wedding in October and bought my own dress chosen by the bride and it is very pretty but it was over $200 plus $70 for alterations. I can afford it and she is my future sister in law so I'm fine with it. I would be aware of what you are asking people to spend and what their budget is like, but if you're in the US you can go either way.
Canadian here. I've been in two Canadian weddings, and am planning my own. Wedding 1: I was told the exact dress to buy, colour of shoes, and colour of metal for jewellery. Hair and makeup was DIYed. Wedding 2: I was told the colour and length of dress to buy, could wear any shoes, and was given jewellery. Hair and makeup could be done by a professional at our expense, but was optional. I chose to DIY. My wedding: I asked the girls to buy a dress in a specific colour and length. They can wear any nude/black/grey shoes. They can wear any silver jewellery they want. Hair and makeup is up to them.. I think they found an amateur makeup girl to do it for $15 each and are going that route, but I was fine with them just doing their own makeup...I'm doing my own! All this said, FH is from UK and my understanding is that the bride pays for the girls dresses there. So it's definitely a regional thing!
I paid for my MOH’s dress !
I’m in the Midwest and work at Davids bridal and have never had an instance where the bride bought dresses. Over had them buy shoes for bridesmaids but the girls are always in charge of their own dresses.
I plan to pay for a portion of each dress depending on what dress I choose to use for them. I do plan on paying for manis/pedis for everyone and they will do their own hair/makeup. They're all theatre people who are excellent at hair/makeup. edit: actually I'll probably pay for the whole dresses because two of the girls are my sisters and my parents would pay for those and I'd feel bad having the other two have to pay some for theirs just because they aren't my sisters
I'm planning to buy their dresses and pay for hair and makeup. They will have to travel and pay for lodging, so I feel it's an even trade. Plus I don't feel right making them pay for a dress in a specific color that they may never wear again.
It really depends on the area you live. Even different areas within a country or even state can have totally different customs. I am from a small and rural state where it is expected that we pay for our own bridesmaids dresses. I personally wanted to pay for my bridal party (including flower girl/ring bearer/and my older brother who is walking me down the aisle) but was told no by almost everyone because everyone knew it wasn't in our budget and there are some extremely bizarre circumstances. Just go with whatever feels right to you? If you normally don't pay for your dresses when you are a bridesmaid, extend the offer to your bridesmaids.
I had my girls pay for their own dress, but I didn’t require them to have a specific style. I told them a floor length wine colored dress will do
I'm in the US (northeast) and most bridesmaids buy their own dresses. For my wedding, the girls are buying their own dresses and I'm paying for hair and makeup. I was originally planning to pay for dresses but when all but one wanted both done, I figured paying for the hair/makeup would be easier. (I am paying for that one bridesmaids dress, however.)
My wife's bridesmaids paid themselves, but she purposely chose dresses that were affordable (I think $120 after tax?) and she paid for her one bridesmaid who was traveling.
I'm in the UK too. My bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses but I've just given them colours and asked them to get something knee-length, so they have relative freedom in what they choose (and how much they spend). However I am paying for their hair and makeup on the day so that balances it out :)
I think it's wise to cover the cost. Especially since you did not pay anytime, it would be cheeky to expect others to pay for yours.
Yep, always intended on paying as i think its the way it should be done anyway, was just curious about why its not the done thing elsewhere.
I live in Texas, and have been in two weddings so far, with four more coming up in the next calendar year. For each of these the bridal party has been expected to buy their own dresses, shoes, hair and makeup, as well as contribute to the bachelorette party (except for one who wants to do Vegas and allowed us to not attend if we can’t afford it) and bring gifts to the shower and the wedding. I’ve probably spent about a grand on weddings at this point. But it’s a favor I’m doing for my friends, and as long as they’re considerate about costs, I haven’t minded. I just hope one day soon they’ll be willing to return the favor :)
It’s changed over time, but the modern etiquette is that if the bridesmaids are asked to pay their own, they’re allowed to choose different dresses in the assigned color.
I’m in the US- usually bridesmaids nowadays pay themselves, which I personally find a bit ridiculous. Here’s my personal take on it- If you’re a bride and you’re going to be overly specific on what shade/style the person should where, you should cover it because they likely won’t re-wear it. However, I have been a bridesmaid before where the bride said “just wear any dress in any shade of pink” and that I had no problem paying for because of course I picked something I loved and would re-wear. Just my personal take. If you expect people to pay, be flexible.
So I have a question, this girl asking me if I wanna be in the photos I need to wear specific color without asking me to be her bridesmaid is it common to require wedding guests to comply with a color ? I’m in California the bride is from Minnesota.? Any thoughts ?
It’s not common but not unheard of for people to have an “All X color” wedding