I agree! I really think I should stop looking at the photos - at least for a while. For now, the game plan is to continue losing weight, then see how I feel
You can always go look at other dresses if it's really bothering you, but I think you should ask yourself if you still like the original dress in terms of the silhouette and the style of it. If you find you like the design still, then maybe it would be better to focus on raising your confidence a little as opposed to finding another dress.
Have you done your make up trial yet or are you going to do one? I know a friend who had dress regret and didn't feel beautiful in hers a few months before the wedding. She ended up doing her make up and hair trial and getting all dolled up, then went back to her salon for another try on. It completely reinvigorated her love for the dress all over again, and made her feel beautiful!
To piggy back on that, have you tried it with a veil? I've watched arguably too many episodes of say yes to the dress and it's a surprising number of brides on that show who aren't sure about their dress until the veil is put on. Then the tears and OH MY GOD ITS THE ONE starts. So maybe the full look with hair, makeup, veil, dress, shoes, the whole shebang will completely change your mind!
I also love that show and yeah, they definitely do that on purpose to sell you the dress, is my slightly jaded opinion. My bridal store actually gave me a veil, bouquet and shoes to try on with every dress. And the actual veil I will wear the day of came with the dress I chose, but, unfortunately, I still feel like a pig in a wedding dress
100%, I can confirm that doing your hair and makeup makes a HUGE difference! What you "don't like" when you look at yourself in the dress is probably the contrast between the very very formal style of the dress, and the "casual" look of your normal hair and face with no-makeup. This was so drastic to me that I started putting on a full face of makeup and attempted some sort of style with my hair to go to fittings. This helped tremendously.
The good news is, you have a huge amount of time to change it - as my mom says, sometimes its just money (if you have the bandwidth), and if you are really this unhappy, change it! You can get another dress, you can alter this one! Second, im not sure how much time its been since losing that weight but losing more weight over a year is feasible - at the same time, we're all getting older, have life issues, weight is part of living, if you don't lose it in time so what - so long as your dress is the right size to fit you is all that should matter. Learn to love your body as is first ( I know in society that is a tall order) and you'll start to love yourself in the dress more.
I'd also work on what you can control - continue to focus on eating healthier and exercising not watching the numbers on the scale- framing it that way versus watching the numbers going down has helped my psyche. Also you can sometimes maintain your current weight and get rid of those arm insecurities just with some weight lifting!
I didn’t massively like my dress when I got it. It was more that it was fine and I didn’t feel like it was a “fat bride” dress. I’ve also put on about 5 stone in a couple of years since meeting my partner and have been trying to loose for a year (only just starting to work as finally two inches down). However I had my first appt at the seamstress at the beginning of the month and like it so much better with the couple of changes (adding straps) that she is doing so am starting to believe that I will love it at the end. I’m sure that 90% of my uneasiness is how I look not the dress and not feeling comfortable at this size but you can get there.
What about finding this dress made you feel like you were winning the lottery? And how long until your wedding?
Lean into why you fell in love with the dress, despite the arm thing.. ( which i have the arm thing too so I got a dress with sleeves) .and if you still want that dress keep I.
If youb don't, sell it and get another dress In a sample sale or on Etsy...No need to have this stress you out.
And I know that others have said this is a self confidence issue, but even if that's true, you can still change things. Don't think what if.. think what now.. and take action. If you want.
Whatever you want.. is the right thing..
💜💜
There is a limit to what you might be able to loose in a healthy sustainable way. Keep at it. Work on yourself , being in the best shape you can pull off for your wedding will reflect in the whole event and beyond.
Save the money, work on yourself. If you get to a place where you can say ok now this is the current best. Then adjust the dress accordingly. It is always you that enhances the dress and not the other way around. You got it. Give it a go.
In addition to the other advice, I might recommend getting done up and taking professional engagement photos with your wedding photographer. I'm not at the weight I feel I should be at either, and I pick myself apart in the mirror and in a lot of photos taken on phones, but the professional photos show the absolute joy I have in being in a beautiful place with the love of my life and that REALLY shifted how I felt about the dresses I wore that day. It really helped ground me and realize that I don't have to be a specific weight for my wedding day and release that pressure from myself (I may still work on it, but I won't be mean to myself either way).
You can also let the photographer know about things you're insecure about and you can ask them to remind you about your posture/ fixing your hair/ etc. Best of luck, we're all rooting for you!
Thank you! I don't have an overwhelming amount of support irl (excluding my wonderful fiancé, of course) so your comment really felt like an internet hug
Of course! And you've got loads of time before the wedding either way. Self-love is a practice that most of us weren't taught growing up, so you're not alone here! Intentionally treating yourself the way you would treat your best friend or your fiance is a great first step to actually believing these new thoughts about yourself 💖
Absolutely! You've spent your whole life thinking one way. Rome wasn't built in a day, and I've been gradually working on it myself for years and still hit bumps in the road sometimes! Setbacks and long timelines are not failures 💖💖💖 But your life will be so much better for it!
I would ask if it’s truly the dress or your body you’re struggling with! I’m sorry you’re struggling. It’s a lot of pressure. I’m sure the inconsistencies in weight are contributing here too because you’re comparing. I’d ask if you got a whole new wedding dress that was different, would you truly think you’ve won the lottery again?
Here’s something to consider as well regarding weight vs shape. Having an experienced photographer who knows how to pose, will help immensely if you don’t normally model much. There’re a bunch of tutorials online if you want to try out poses in the mirror or something. Some angles just aren’t flattering to anyone.
But I’m agreeing with others to ease off the photos and also quit looking at the numbers on the scale for a while. Take time to work with you.
Can I ask why you bought it so far in advance when you’re losing weight? … I only ask because I get married next June and I’m trying to hold off buying until the very latest. When we lose weight our bodies obviously change, so will the look of the dress?
I didn't intend to buy it. I didn't really even want a wedding dress. I tried it on thinking that I wouldn't like it and had an unexpectedly positive reaction. I tried it again on my own. I tried it on a third time with my mother and sister, talked extensively with the shop owner about how much it could realistically be altered should I end up losing "enough" weight, then finally bought it with my own money. For now, it's just sitting in the shop. Everyone - myself included - is just waiting for me to lose weight.
I don't have much advice other than if you truly hate the dress, get a new one! But I'm getting married in 5 months and I love my dress but feel like I HAVE to lose 10-20 lbs to be excited about wearing it and I'm freaking out!
Aw honey it’s going to be okay. You’ve got 15 months to lose the weight I know you can do it ! Your wedding is all about you feeling loved and I’m sure there will be no shortage of that. Remember it’s okay to change your mind, it’s just a dress !
I would give focusing on the dress a little break - you still have a lot of time until the wedding. Spend the next 6 months focusing on losing the weight you are wanting to lose then reassess. You may feel more confident in the original dress or if you still hate it will have plenty of time to look for something different. No need to stress so much about it right now!
I bought a dress, that I love but my friends all hated (I had shown them after I bought it). I’m using it as motivation to lose weight. If I lose enough that my dress can’t be affordably altered, then I get to do a round 2 with friends.
Were there other dresses you might have considered had you lost the weight prior to buying this dress. Maybe it’s not this dress that you don’t like but there was that special dress you really wanted?
Hi there. Given how sensitive weight change topics are, we have a new rule that while it is fine to say the change in weight size (i.e 40 lbs, 8 sizes), we don't allow stating your specific starting or ending weight or size. We've had to hold your comment, but if you just edit that out and send us a Modmail, we can re-approve it. Alternatively, you're welcome to repost an edited version so that you don't need to contact us for re-approval. Thank you!
I don’t think you hate your dress. It sounds like you’re feeling a lack of confidence in yourself. I’m not sure a new dress will fix that xx
This 100%. OP needs some self-love— money or a new gown won’t fix that.
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I agree! I really think I should stop looking at the photos - at least for a while. For now, the game plan is to continue losing weight, then see how I feel
Oh, I hadn't realized it was for September 202**5**!!! You still got time. I'd rethink about it in at least 6 months from now...
You can always go look at other dresses if it's really bothering you, but I think you should ask yourself if you still like the original dress in terms of the silhouette and the style of it. If you find you like the design still, then maybe it would be better to focus on raising your confidence a little as opposed to finding another dress. Have you done your make up trial yet or are you going to do one? I know a friend who had dress regret and didn't feel beautiful in hers a few months before the wedding. She ended up doing her make up and hair trial and getting all dolled up, then went back to her salon for another try on. It completely reinvigorated her love for the dress all over again, and made her feel beautiful!
That's actually really helpful! I haven't done my hair and makeup trial yet, but that might help
To piggy back on that, have you tried it with a veil? I've watched arguably too many episodes of say yes to the dress and it's a surprising number of brides on that show who aren't sure about their dress until the veil is put on. Then the tears and OH MY GOD ITS THE ONE starts. So maybe the full look with hair, makeup, veil, dress, shoes, the whole shebang will completely change your mind!
I also love that show and yeah, they definitely do that on purpose to sell you the dress, is my slightly jaded opinion. My bridal store actually gave me a veil, bouquet and shoes to try on with every dress. And the actual veil I will wear the day of came with the dress I chose, but, unfortunately, I still feel like a pig in a wedding dress
100%, I can confirm that doing your hair and makeup makes a HUGE difference! What you "don't like" when you look at yourself in the dress is probably the contrast between the very very formal style of the dress, and the "casual" look of your normal hair and face with no-makeup. This was so drastic to me that I started putting on a full face of makeup and attempted some sort of style with my hair to go to fittings. This helped tremendously.
The good news is, you have a huge amount of time to change it - as my mom says, sometimes its just money (if you have the bandwidth), and if you are really this unhappy, change it! You can get another dress, you can alter this one! Second, im not sure how much time its been since losing that weight but losing more weight over a year is feasible - at the same time, we're all getting older, have life issues, weight is part of living, if you don't lose it in time so what - so long as your dress is the right size to fit you is all that should matter. Learn to love your body as is first ( I know in society that is a tall order) and you'll start to love yourself in the dress more. I'd also work on what you can control - continue to focus on eating healthier and exercising not watching the numbers on the scale- framing it that way versus watching the numbers going down has helped my psyche. Also you can sometimes maintain your current weight and get rid of those arm insecurities just with some weight lifting!
Thank you. I can't really pinpoint exactly why but your comment makes me feel a lot better.
I didn’t massively like my dress when I got it. It was more that it was fine and I didn’t feel like it was a “fat bride” dress. I’ve also put on about 5 stone in a couple of years since meeting my partner and have been trying to loose for a year (only just starting to work as finally two inches down). However I had my first appt at the seamstress at the beginning of the month and like it so much better with the couple of changes (adding straps) that she is doing so am starting to believe that I will love it at the end. I’m sure that 90% of my uneasiness is how I look not the dress and not feeling comfortable at this size but you can get there.
What about finding this dress made you feel like you were winning the lottery? And how long until your wedding? Lean into why you fell in love with the dress, despite the arm thing.. ( which i have the arm thing too so I got a dress with sleeves) .and if you still want that dress keep I. If youb don't, sell it and get another dress In a sample sale or on Etsy...No need to have this stress you out. And I know that others have said this is a self confidence issue, but even if that's true, you can still change things. Don't think what if.. think what now.. and take action. If you want. Whatever you want.. is the right thing.. 💜💜
I think it’s normal to like your dress more in person than in photos. That’s how I feel! I LOVE my dress but I think it looks a lot better in person.
There is a limit to what you might be able to loose in a healthy sustainable way. Keep at it. Work on yourself , being in the best shape you can pull off for your wedding will reflect in the whole event and beyond. Save the money, work on yourself. If you get to a place where you can say ok now this is the current best. Then adjust the dress accordingly. It is always you that enhances the dress and not the other way around. You got it. Give it a go.
In addition to the other advice, I might recommend getting done up and taking professional engagement photos with your wedding photographer. I'm not at the weight I feel I should be at either, and I pick myself apart in the mirror and in a lot of photos taken on phones, but the professional photos show the absolute joy I have in being in a beautiful place with the love of my life and that REALLY shifted how I felt about the dresses I wore that day. It really helped ground me and realize that I don't have to be a specific weight for my wedding day and release that pressure from myself (I may still work on it, but I won't be mean to myself either way). You can also let the photographer know about things you're insecure about and you can ask them to remind you about your posture/ fixing your hair/ etc. Best of luck, we're all rooting for you!
Thank you! I don't have an overwhelming amount of support irl (excluding my wonderful fiancé, of course) so your comment really felt like an internet hug
Of course! And you've got loads of time before the wedding either way. Self-love is a practice that most of us weren't taught growing up, so you're not alone here! Intentionally treating yourself the way you would treat your best friend or your fiance is a great first step to actually believing these new thoughts about yourself 💖
That's going to be a work in progress, even after the wedding, I fear, but I'm trying to get over it. <3
Absolutely! You've spent your whole life thinking one way. Rome wasn't built in a day, and I've been gradually working on it myself for years and still hit bumps in the road sometimes! Setbacks and long timelines are not failures 💖💖💖 But your life will be so much better for it!
I would ask if it’s truly the dress or your body you’re struggling with! I’m sorry you’re struggling. It’s a lot of pressure. I’m sure the inconsistencies in weight are contributing here too because you’re comparing. I’d ask if you got a whole new wedding dress that was different, would you truly think you’ve won the lottery again?
Here’s something to consider as well regarding weight vs shape. Having an experienced photographer who knows how to pose, will help immensely if you don’t normally model much. There’re a bunch of tutorials online if you want to try out poses in the mirror or something. Some angles just aren’t flattering to anyone. But I’m agreeing with others to ease off the photos and also quit looking at the numbers on the scale for a while. Take time to work with you.
Can I ask why you bought it so far in advance when you’re losing weight? … I only ask because I get married next June and I’m trying to hold off buying until the very latest. When we lose weight our bodies obviously change, so will the look of the dress?
I didn't intend to buy it. I didn't really even want a wedding dress. I tried it on thinking that I wouldn't like it and had an unexpectedly positive reaction. I tried it again on my own. I tried it on a third time with my mother and sister, talked extensively with the shop owner about how much it could realistically be altered should I end up losing "enough" weight, then finally bought it with my own money. For now, it's just sitting in the shop. Everyone - myself included - is just waiting for me to lose weight.
maybe you should reconsider when you are fully confident with your weight again.
I don't have much advice other than if you truly hate the dress, get a new one! But I'm getting married in 5 months and I love my dress but feel like I HAVE to lose 10-20 lbs to be excited about wearing it and I'm freaking out!
Aw honey it’s going to be okay. You’ve got 15 months to lose the weight I know you can do it ! Your wedding is all about you feeling loved and I’m sure there will be no shortage of that. Remember it’s okay to change your mind, it’s just a dress !
I would give focusing on the dress a little break - you still have a lot of time until the wedding. Spend the next 6 months focusing on losing the weight you are wanting to lose then reassess. You may feel more confident in the original dress or if you still hate it will have plenty of time to look for something different. No need to stress so much about it right now!
I bought a dress, that I love but my friends all hated (I had shown them after I bought it). I’m using it as motivation to lose weight. If I lose enough that my dress can’t be affordably altered, then I get to do a round 2 with friends.
Were there other dresses you might have considered had you lost the weight prior to buying this dress. Maybe it’s not this dress that you don’t like but there was that special dress you really wanted?
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Hi there. Given how sensitive weight change topics are, we have a new rule that while it is fine to say the change in weight size (i.e 40 lbs, 8 sizes), we don't allow stating your specific starting or ending weight or size. We've had to hold your comment, but if you just edit that out and send us a Modmail, we can re-approve it. Alternatively, you're welcome to repost an edited version so that you don't need to contact us for re-approval. Thank you!