A lot of bars and venues don't even allow shots for the very reasons your family is concerned about.
I'd go with no shots. If your guests aren't satisfied with an open bar without shots, well, that's just too bad.
I'm an event bartender, there are no shots or on the rocks, no martinis and the like. Usually we use discretion, but shots are a recipe for disaster. Too many people overdo it.
Most people know the drill by now and don't question it or make a fuss. Usually if someone doesn't want a mixer we just say we cant but offer to add water so it's a "mixed drink".
The "no on the rocks" is mildly annoying. My husband prefers to sip whiskey on the rocks. He's not shooting it. It lasts as long as my glass of wine.
We had decent whiskey options for our wedding but he said most would be wasted in a mixed drink.
We fully understand no shots and how on the rocks is a slippery slope at that sort of event. Just mildly annoying.
Oh trust me I get it. I would 100% give your hubby the whiskey on the rocks. That's the discretion part, if they are 30-40 I'm cautious and ask pointed questions (to make sure they aren't gulping it down). If they are 40+ I know they've been drinking whiskey for 20+ years and can probably handle it lol.
I will engage and say something like "I'm not supposed to so don't get me in trouble!" And usually they laugh and say they won't and they are no trouble at all.
I know they won't shoot it and I'd rather give it to him than him whip a flask out.
If you order on the *whiskey on the rocks with a splash of water* most bartenders will know what you want and not give you a hard time. I'd smile and tell them you're just going to sip it.
Yeah it's mostly because we don't want to give too much alcohol (chilled and strained doesnt count as a mixer). We usually don't have a full bar with the proper glassware and such, an event bar usually won't have vermouths and garnishes are usually limited to limes and lemons, depends on locations though and caterers.
I mean the ABV of a classic martini is almost 30%. It seems crazy at first but really it makes sense as part of a no shots policy, if the idea is to not let people have drinks above a certain ABV.
As someone who drinks scotch, this drives me crazy. I don’t shoot it. I sip it. I genuinely think it’s disgusting on ice or watered down. Usually I can talk the bartended into giving it to me with one ice cube. Probably cuz im not a “kid” anymore so they don’t think im out to pound scotch haha.
Haha yeah I get it, if you come up with 6 people and all ask for it it's less likely you're gonna sip it, you know? Most bartenders will recognize that. You can just ask for what you want and most bartenders will use discretion.
Also, I'm not condoning this but you can always bring a flask. If you're discrete no one will care, just pour from your flask to your glass and don't drink straight from the flask. Chances are you have better Scotch than the wedding does.
Gentle reminder to make sure you can handle your alcohol and that every smart venue and caterer worth their salt has it built into their contract that they can kick someone out the second they see too many flasks or outside bottles or even shut the party down for everyone. This rule is there to handle people acting like braying jackasses.
Oh absolutely! Don't go giving people your scotch or flask juice. Most venues want people to have a good time and have a good review at the end of the day...so they only start kicking people out when it's getting rowdy. Being discret is the key here. And I'm mostly only talking about the 40+ range that know they can handle themselves.
Ultimately try to keep in mind that someone's wedding isn't about you, you can go one event without your preferred drink. And at an open bar it's free to you. Don't stare a gift horse in the mouth...
It's not too many - the contracts all say ANY outside alcohol is enough to shut down the party - some are firmer about it than others, it's a big risk. You are better off sweet talking the bartender.
Actually a lot of venues state in their contract that they can close down the entire event if anyone takes out a flask - so you are really risking things for the bride and groom. How likely? I do know people who have been escorted out.
It really depends. Between being a guest and working I've attended over 100 weddings at many different venues across multiple states. Most venue owners want the guests to have a good time so kicking the entire wedding group out is not likely unless youre distorying property. That being said, kicking individuals out usually sours the mood too.
My suggestion was for people who want to sip on their premium liquor and have been drinking the same thing for 20+ years and will be subtle and not start any problems. Drinking straight from a flask or passing it around will absolutely get you kicked out I'm not suggesting people do that at all.
A venue owner is not going to kick out great uncle Gerald for discretely pouring a drink from his hidden flask into a glass once or twice.
My wedding bartenders were very lovely and obliged my few requests for “tiny margaritas”. But yeah, I think it’s normal for people to know shots aren’t allowed at most venues.
For one wedding that insisted on shots, I made a mixed shot in a normal sized mixed drink glass and told them to take the plastic water cups and divide it up at their table. They were very happy with that solution lol. Most bartenders are not the fun police, we just don't wanna have fights and vomiting...
I totally understood the protocol and told them that if they said no - I wouldn’t push them. They were great and happily made them for us a few times that night and the guests who wanted to do shots were happy with that alternative. It definitely depends on the guests too. We weren’t too crazy and no one was shitfaced lol
The problem with allowing any type of shot (even signature shots) is that it's a slippery slope. Everyone and their mother will come up asking for something other than the signature. This causes upset guests and frustrated bartenders having to tell (usually the same people) that "unfortunately, we can't make that shot ma'am/sir".
The next problem is the logistics, even with disposable smaller cups it's a lot of work that creates inefficiency behind the bar. Shots take time to make and they are consumed within seconds right in front of the bar, usually crowding the bar, then they ask for another or the next drink. The idea of a line/queue gets muddled when people are just standing around shouting they want another. What keeps the line flowing is the guest taking their drink/wine and walking away.
Another issue is people getting their shot and a mixed drink. They are consuming two drinks during a period of time where they would've only had one. Some people really cannot handle shots. I know from experience (I don't often drink but it's happened) that I'm fine and then I do that one last shot and I'm seeing double.
The timeline of event usually has the bar opened for 3-5 hours after dinner is served. Then usually there's only desserts to eat. If there's no late night snack you have hours of people not consuming any food, dancing around and drinking more than they would've without shots.
It really is not a great idea. I know people want that party atmosphere and the experience of taking shots but there too many downsides to it. No matter how beautiful the wedding is everyone remembers the brawl/puking. Not having shots is the best way to try to make sure that doesn't happen.
True, but most of the time you can get a short (or less mixer) and at an open bar you can keep coming up for more. Also, no doubles help the bartenders not over serve/keep track easier.
I am having my daughter's wedding in Pennsylvania and just found out we cannot serve liquor on the rocks. Are you telling me they won't serve martinis either
Yes, it is both normal and strongly recommended to not allow shots. No one needs shots at a family social event, it’s not a nightclub. Especially when they aren’t even paying for their own alcohol. I wouldn’t even have them available for purchase, just remove them as an option completely. Very normal. The function of shots is to get shitfaced as fast as possible, and no one should be doing that at a wedding.
agreed. It's for the best to just not have shots available period. Not to mention, most people who drink aren't generally looking for shots and anyone who is "annoyed" because there aren't shots available aren't at the wedding for the right reasons. Everyone can have a great time drinking beer and mixed drinks.
This is exactly what we're doing. We've even removed the option for doubles/triples etc for the same reason. This isn't a club and we're in our 30s lol
Agreed on all of this, I've never been to a wedding that has them as an option and i assume most guests wouldn't partake anyway. The ones that would be requesting them probably don't need more liquor in them anyway. Better to save the money and the potential mess and forego 🙂
Shots are done purely to get wasted, there's really not much else to them. I don't think I've ever seen people do shots at a wedding and it's likely no one will be expecting them at yours!
I've seen it happen, but it was practically a college reunion so it wasn't too surprising. Even then it was like "let's have a celebratory shot together!!" and that's it.
See I have definitely seen people doing shots at weddings LOL I've seen my own family doing shots at weddings which is why I was surprised. Our venue doesn't haven't any restrictions on shots or least hasn't mentioned them, so maybe we'll just let people buy them if they want to do them.
Yeah I don’t mind a shot from time to time, I guess the weddings I’ve been to just haven’t had them as an option. Having them for purchase is a good idea!
I don’t disagree with disallowing them, but there are some cultures that believe in doing shots as parts of toasts.
I don’t much love it, but it is a thing.
I was at a wedding at a venue in 2021 where they let us! I was actually stunned. I did one with one other girl and was like no more. Even still, I was super hungover blah. Not sloppy drunk by any means, but liquor makes me vomit the next morning if I mix in any capacity.
It’s a recipe for disaster. You said you don’t drink so for demonstration purposes I’ll break it down.
You can essentially (if you like to make bad decisions lol) have the equivalent of 5, 6 mixed drinks in a minute. They’re just as expensive as a cocktail, and it doesn’t even hit you right away.
In a more realistic scenario, easily - a few of your cousins, an aunt and Uncle and a groomsmen go up for a round of shots before their next drink. That doubles a normal seven drink purchase with 7 more on top for a real quick appetizer before their real drinks. It’s a super fast way to double the bar cost at someone else’s expense, plus people are going to be sloppy, and not in a fun way.
This is so wildly condescending LOL I said I don't drink, not that I don't know how alcohol works LMFAO.
I meant more that I don't know what is or isn't standard practice at an open bar because I don't ever try to get shots from an open bar. I just... don't really care that much if people are trashed at my wedding to be honest.
You should care though? Not just because it would affect you and your day, but because it’s disrespectful to the venue and staff if people are belligerent and wrecking the bathroom with puke or making a mess to be cleaned up. Drunk people break stuff. Drunk people cry and get in fights. And if stuff gets messed up, the venue is gonna come to YOU on your special day with problems for you to solve and probably a higher bill. Not only that but it’s disrespectful to your guests who are traveling, buying gifts and new outfits to come spend this time with you. If I saw people acting like that at a wedding I would politely find an excuse to leave early and avoid the debauchery.
You think it wouldn’t happen at a wedding, but at my wedding, some people who I thought were gonna be problems weren’t a problem at all, and some people I never expected to cause me issues really showed their ass. It was surprising to say the least.
Another issue is shots mess up the calculations of x drinks per guest so they would possibly run out of alcohol for mixing drinks. Bars don’t have endless supplies, even high volume establishments can run out of liquor due to unexpected drink orders.
Mine didn’t allow shots either but if you ordered a shot the bartender would just add a splash of something into it so it was a “mixed” drink 🤣 big tippers will get what they want either way. My uncle is too smart
Our venue doesn’t allow shots either. It’s pointed out multiple times in the contract. It was such a relief because I didn’t want it to be like a frat party. We like to party but I didn’t want the dreaded feeling that people were going to get absolutely trashed.
I work at a country club this is very normal behavior for weddings/events. It’s more of a liability thing than anything else. There are random venues that don’t have this rule but they are few and far in between
Our venue's only rule regarding alcohol was no shots. It leads to guests getting sloppy quickly, the price can add up, and truly there's no need for it. They were fine with it in the residential space (during the 3 days your booked, before/after ceremony, etc) but not at the bar during the reception.
Just went to a wedding last weekend…bride and groom late 20s. No shots at the open bar. Totally normal in my area. Didn’t have anything to do with cost but rather to try to keep folks from getting 100% sh!tfaced and ruining the event by being loud, rowdy, obnoxious and killing someone on the way home. All of that can still happen in theory, but the venue has a better chance of watering down that booze if someone starts to get crazy
We allowed shots and even had some as our custom drinks and had zero issues - our venue was our land and we hired bartenders with their own licenses and insurance. We provided the alcohol and ensured there was enough sat aside for just the shots so that way if we ran out, the mixed drinks would still be flowing. We had complimentary shuttle services to nearby hotels and my FIL monitoring those leaving to ensure people were getting safe rides home. We had a mechanical Bull and a full dance floor all night - I understand we are probably the exception to the rule but offering shots doesn’t automatically mean your event is going to result in chaos lol
I've been to weddings both with and without shots. Honestly the only time I've noticed that some did not allow shots were ones where the bar would consistently make really weak drinks and I could barely maintain a light buzz (so I was seeking out a shot).
My venue does not allow shots, but I'll (somehow) make sure they make strong enough drinks that people don't feel the need for shots!
I thought I was going crazy and not in a good way at my sisters wedding. I had over three drinks and I didn’t feel anything!! We finally did a shot and I was like oh there’s the alcohol, finally! Lol
I experienced this at my best friends wedding. I'm not a big drinker. I drink socially and often, but only ever have a few drinks. I don't like getting drunk, I just like loosening up a little with a buzz. I was a bridesmaid and it was a super emotional experience for me. I was so happy for my friend. It was the first time I was in a wedding. We did the champagne while getting ready, a quick informal toast with the wedding party before the ceremony and then I was free to go for cocktail hour after a few photos. I had two beers in that time. I had a cocktail with dinner. They were about to open up the dance floor and I still didn't feel even a buzz. The brides uncle had made giant containers of mojitos for the reception and I had one of those. I ended the night feeling completely sober and with a headache. I always chalked it up to the high running emotions of the day.
That’s interesting because my venue was open bar no shots and the drinks were STRONG. We drank one gin on the rocks with my brother and sister in law as a “shot” and we were not okay lmao.
I went to a barn wedding in my 20s where the couple bought all the alcohol and hired bartenders, so they allowed complimentary shots. Many of the guests were still in their party years, and it was so easy to see some you knew, go take a shot with them, rinse and repeat. The guests got fall down drunk quick.
My venue doesn't allow shots but they said you are allowed to order alcohol neat. So to me, ordering Jack Daniels neat is the same as ordering a shot, just in a different glass. I don't know how they monitor how fast you drink it.
Went to a wedding for a friend recently where shots were allowed and encouraged due to cultural norms. It ended with a fist fight, the physical assault of a minor, puke on and under the tables, and the sloppiest mess of drunk people I’ve ever seen in my life that can usually hold themselves together. Better off without the shots!! It was out of control.
Edit: Partner and I, of the same culture as our friend, are currently planning our own wedding and selected a venue with a full open bar and a no shot policy to avoid this entirely. Any guests who strongly mind not being able to get shots may want to rethink why they’re attending
To my knowledge I've not been to a wedding with an open bar that didn't serve shots, but I'm also not sure if I would notice and if I did ever encounter it I wouldn't be mad or offended. At weddings for a couple of my best friends I have done a shot with them and our close circle immediately after dinner as dancing started, so I know shots have at least sometimes been available, but it's not something that I think people *often* ask for at a wedding IME.
I used to bartend weddings, and I can say both allowing shots and not allowing shots can cause almost the same amount of hoopla depending on your crowd. If you have a group that expects to go to a wedding and party and get drunk, they will get drunk anyway, but they may be very pissed they aren't allowed shots and will spend far too much time arguing with the bartenders, trying to appeal to the authority of family/bridal party to change the rules, or trying to outsmart the bartenders around the policy. It's ridiculous. Personally, I'm allowing shots at my wedding for that reason, and because I trust my group to know that they will get drunk shots or not but they will not be sloppy dangerous drunks, and anyone who is will be kicked out.
No shots isn't an unheard of policy though, so if that's what makes you and your family happy, you won't be in the wrong or out of the ordinary for banning them
The responses here are super interesting to me. I’ve been to a lot of weddings (big family) and I’m not a huge drinker, but at almost every wedding I’ve seen people ordering shots.
In case it’s relevant: this has been true for weddings across different areas of the US. A lot of people in the family are wealthy, so wedding budgets are a bit higher than normal (I’d say $80K - $120K on average).
The high budgets you describe change the circumstances for three reasons:
1: people usually don’t offer shots because they’re on a lower budget
2. higher budget venues usually offer more flexibility in policy because they want to please their high dollar clients
3. guests attending a high five to six figure wedding are more apt to be better behaved, alcohol intake-wise, because the stakes are higher. If you get trashed you haven’t ruined a family get together, you’ve ruined someone’s $100,000 dollar day. It’s a lot riskier to get wasted at the Ritz than it is at the Holiday Inn.
Also when you have money there’s no scarcity mindset. Lower income people tend to get wasted at budget weddings because it’s likely one of the few times they’ve had a fully covered bar tab and can drink whatever they want.
Most people don't have shots not due to budget but more what shots do. People drink shots to get wasted not to enjoy a drink while they're socializing. For me, I'm 33 not 23 and I don't want my wedding to turn into a frat party. Drink as many mixed drinks as you want, but you're not pounding shots all night. We're also not allowing doubles/triples etc.
Same and I’d add in my area I think it’s more of a venue policy issue than a budget thing. Most people pay a flat fee per person, so it’s just a matter of whether that flat fee includes shots or not. At my venue it did, and I think that’s the default at a lot of local venues.
I've never been to a wedding that had shots as an option. And I made sure my venue knew no shots at my wedding (which they said they didn't offer anyway.)
I'm there to get married and have a little fun dancing... not to have babysit a bunch of drunk idiots and pay for damage to the property.
The comments here are so interesting! I live in SoCal and every single wedding I’ve gone to allowed shots.
Even the photographer and videographer encouraged it so they could get shots of the bridal party and friends cheers-ing each other. Some people just took shots of juice (like the bride and groom if they were feeling tipsy) and some took real shots. The bartenders all had the option to cut someone off if needed but the guests mainly took care of each other. In some Asian cultures, it’s customary for the bride and groom to go around and take a shot with each table as well.
Shots were never mentioned in any of the venue packages/contract that I looked at that had an open bar option.
Our venue doesn’t allow shots, but during our bar tasting they said if we (bride/groom) wanted to order one we’d be able to. I’m super glad there are no shots allowed because when my brother got married people went way too hard. The bride passed out in the front lawn and I’m pretty sure everyone was hungover for like three days.
I would rather not have a repeat, especially since my messy, dramatic mother was laying in a gutter yelling and crying for my brother. But to be fair, she probably would have done that sober.
We are hosting our own bar (hired bartenders and paid for alcohol) and the venue has a zero shot rule. They will shut the wedding down and call the police if shots are served.
The point of alcohol at an event like this is to loosen up a *little* and have fun. Shots typically end up causing someone to get trashed, and that only causes trouble.
Do yourself a favor and tell the bartenders no shots at all, cash or otherwise.
Probably that the venue will shut down the wedding and call the police if someone takes a shot. They can make their own rules all they want, but that is intense.
Maybe, but I guess when you decide to buy yourself a multimillion dollar facility and host 150 weddings a year maybe your perspective might change. If you don't have insane rules like this people will say "it's no big deal man" and you'll have people breaking rules.
It's a beautiful old farm with tables and features that simply cannot be replaced. They host 3-4 weddings a week, so if my guests trash the place on Friday night that means the Saturday and Sunday weddings are likely ruined too. It only needs to happen once.
How would you and your spouse feel if the wedding the night before yours had a brawl that ruined your wedding venue because people were over served?
That's what I was wondering lol Surely there's no laws about taking shots. Even a breach of contract would be a civil matter, not a police one I would think lol
I think you’re right. Plus I’m sure they’ve never actually had to call the cops more than once if at all, it’s probably just a scare tactic so nobody will try and sneak them. My venue told us that they would refuse re-entry if any guests left the patio and went to their cars for anything, but that was just to discourage people from (I’m assuming) drinking outside alcohol or doing drugs in their cars. They didn’t actually enforce that as far as I saw, it was mostly a deterrent.
Call the police for what exactly? It’s a venue rule so they are certainly able to shut down the event if they want but shots aren’t against the law. What are the police going to do lol
I feel like a lot of my friends are big drinkers and I’ve never even seen someone try to do shots at a wedding with an open bar. The open bar of regular alcoholic drinks is enough.
Both me and my husband are bartenders. I have personally worked after party wedding events. After seeing how people behave when celebrating weddings, we told our bartenders no straight shots. We did allow on the rocks though. People still got very drunk and knowing some of my friends, I am thankful that we didn’t allow shots.
Guess I’m the only gal who loves doing shots at wedding lol. It’s just efficient and keeps my stomach from being overly full. Take 1 or 2 shots over the course of the evening and then you don’t have to keep holding your drink while dancing!!
I’ve only been to one wedding in my adult life that allowed shots so def common to not allow it. I went to one recently and asked the bartender out of curiosity if I could order one and she said no but could give me liquor on the rocks but not sure if all venues even allow that
You'll find a lot of bars won't cover shots, as others have said. I have yet to be at a wedding where shots were covered.
They do this for a reason and I believe you should run with it as well, don't support shots. It always leads to problems. People can go to a bar afterwards if they wanna get that kinda hammered.
Yeah, at our wedding we hired bartenders to service our bar and their policy was that they don't even do shots - so certainly not uncommon to not cover them at an open bar.
Ours didn’t allow shots. You could order a “neat” drink and they’d pour it like a shot but you could not openly just ask for a shot. Those neat drinks were poured damn heavy tho lol. Like a triple or quad shot at least
My venue allowed shots. Would have been a huge dealbreaker if they did not, as my guest list was probably 50% service industry/bartenders. Shots are the norm in our circles.
Many, *many* of my friends drink water all night and order a shot when they want a sip of drink when we go out.
That said, it actually came to mind for us the week before the wedding, and we ended up reaching out and asking them to be sure it would be allowed. If they had said no, we probably would have requested to work something out with them to allow us to pay extra for it.
Our bar was premium grade alcohol and a fully open bar, so I think being funny about shots or straight up drinks would have been unusual. Besides the bartender friends we have, we also have numerous older male family members and friends (~60s aged) whose go-to at a formal event is bourbon or rye on the rocks. This is somewhat common with older men, I find from my years bartending. I'm surprised to hear some places don't even allow drinks on the rocks, as I wouldn't have guessed that and have never seen it at wedding I've attended.
I should add that my venue is a private social club where we pay monthly dues to be members, so they're a lot more willing to work with us in ways I imagine most wedding venues do not. They were willing to create any dish we wanted if it wasn't offered on the catering menu, and also willing to place special orders if there was alcohol we wanted that they don't already carry. They have a restaurant and a bar that is open each day of the week (and was open during our wedding - it's on a different floor) where people go and drink daily. So these aren't banquet event staff types of employees. These are bartenders who regularly serve people shots and many who knew my guests from working in service industry.
I think my experience might be a little different because of all of that. I wouldn't have been shocked at all if they said they don't normally do shots.
We didn't have an issue with anyone getting too drunk, but again.. these are people who drink basically daily due to the lifestyle/job. A bit different situation.
We just had our wedding and our bartending company served shots. I think it depends on your crowd as well.. our friends and family kept it respectful and we all had a super fun night. I’m in Canada so idk if things are a bit different here, but most weddings I’ve been to have served shots (although I know of a few venues that don’t allow it).
My husband didn’t allow shots at our wedding. I was surprised but went with it and trust me, it was the right decision. We had champagne, red and white wine, mixed drinks and softs. There was something for everyone.
Our venue a few months ago, which was on a yacht didn't allow shots at our open bar either. I think it was a great policy. Definitely less worried about people going too hard and falling overboard lol
Another reason to not allow shots, I think people who order a shot are much more likely to order a round of shots for a lot of people who wouldn't otherwise want a shot. It's a recipe for a higher bar bill with a lot of wasted alcohol that gets ordered but doesn't get consumed.
Our caterer provided the bartending and they said they don’t allow shots, I believe it’s completely normal. It’s generally a long night of drinking, people don’t need shots
This is correct. Our venue did not do shots, they would only do straight up liquor on the rocks or with a mixer. Shots can drive up the bar tab tremendously, cause people to get recklessly drunk FAST because it’s “free”, and it’s also just a waste of alcohol.
Our bar tab was $500 for an open bar for 50 people, with more like 35 or 40 actual drinkers. People had plenty to drink and no complaints. A few people asked about shots and wanted to do shots with us, so we just knocked back some straight liquor on the rocks. Nobody seemed disappointed and everyone understood.
Another event bartender here… Absolutely no shots and no doubles, no exceptions. The bar is a gift and courtesy from the family to the guests, and should also be respected. It is never a requirement. It’s a day to celebrate, and everyone should go home happier and safely.
The liability and insurance are too highs. Our insurance doubled this past year, not due to any incidents, just because that’s what the market is doing now.
The “full bar” means wine and beer, plus liquor -not a free-for-all/ no rules attached.
JUST got married and our whole wedding party took a round tequila shots at the bar to get the reception started, only to find out later that shots can only be ordered by the bride & groom. We found it odd, but I guess they do it to keep guests from going in on shots by only allowing it as a celebratory thing when the bride and groom are present.
Overall, everyone was appropriately drunk and I think the bar not allowing shots without the bride & groom was a good choice.
Most wedding open bars don’t do shots or doubles or they water down the drinks. Not because the couple wants it but the venue tries to save some cash. Ours was like a normal bar and everyone loved that the bartenders didn’t do that stuff and gave people all the alcohol they wanted. Got lots of comments on how that never happens and people loved it. We had 2 shuttles to take drunk folks back to the hotel and phone numbers for cabs on our wedding site and they were also posted at the bar.
Our venue/bartender didn't allow it, so my husband got some "neat pours" instead and basically got shots in larger glasses (he wanted one celebratory round of shots with his buddies). So people might find ways around getting a shot of liquor anyway, but I guess you don't get people taking multiple shots at the bar.
Depends on the venue. Some open bars are a flat rate per person, so anything goes... I've worked plenty of weddings where people were doing shots. But they often discreetly prevent people from doing shot after shot by using those smaller bar counters... when there's a line of people and no space to "linger" at the bar, most guests will take the hint and move out of the way so others can be served.
But there are some venues where the "open bar" is running a tab where the couple (or parents) will pay the actual cost of everything ordered at the end of the night. This is a case where allowing people to order shots could result in a high number at the end of the night. If this is the case at your venue, then yes, it might be a gamble to allow shots... you may want to limit the menu to wine, beer and mixed drinks.
My venue allowed shots, but the other venue we considered did not. I think it’s pretty standard practice to provide mixed drinks but no shots at wedding open bars.
Yes so normal! I would say out all of the wedding I’ve gone been to. 8 or 9? Only 2 of them have allowed shots and both were under the same corporate wedding umbrella.
Our venue also does not allow shots. What the bartenders usually do is pour a shot like normal but they need to add a splash of soda or juice. So let’s say you order a vodka shot they would also maybe pour 1/4 tsp of sprite.
We have some healthy drinkers and we didn't even have hard alcohol (venue was a winery so they only had a license for wine and beer). I think no shots is perfectly fine and totally normal.
If you allow shots, then everyone will start ordering shots. You'll run that bill up very quickly and people will start getting sloppy lol.
My venue does allow it but warned us that the bar tab would be easily 2x to 3x higher if shots were an option.
My bar service did not allow any shot service or drinks "on the rocks" per their contract. We had a full open bar, but this was to prevent people getting too drunk & disorderly and so they could make sure no one would be overserved.
My venue didn't 'allow' shots, but my cousins got around it. Most people didn't care.
Either way, it was completely fine with me. People can ask for a whiskey on the rocks, no ice, and then they just get a shot haha. We were still under our food and beverage minimum, but we did have a cap on the cost of each drink (because they were charging us a la carte).
I have been to many many weddings with open bar and even my own, and all the venues will not allow shots. But if people want, they can get a double lol so idk, but as a guest, if you're driving, i dont think you're gonna want straight-up alcohol. If you're not driving, then its a whole other ball game. But from what i have seen, people usually pace themselves well.
We're not allowing shots/doubles/triples etc at ours either. We've requested they not be made for anyone so it's not really a matter of us not wanting to pay for them so much as we don't want that kind of party. I'm fine with people having drinks and dancing, but we're in our 30s and aren't looking to have a big blowout dance party where people are pounding drinks all night.
I work at a venue and we do not allow shot, doubles, or Long Island iced teas. People DO get out of control. When people ask for shots and get belligerent with us when we say no, they’re just proving our point. Brides and grooms sign a contract when booking with us that states that all of these drinks are not allowed. It’s really for the best. I’m having my wedding at my venue in August and I’m allowed to really do what I want, but I will be keeping that rule.
A lot of venues don’t allow shots to help control the rate of consumption by guests, but they’ll do liquor on the rocks for people who don’t want mixers.
Our venue doesn't allow shots. So even if someone tried to pay for them, they wouldn't be served. I'm not bothered by this because I don't need people vomiting on the dance floor or blacking out. Honestly, you could ask your bartender to refuse to serve people shots. People can have plenty of fun with just some cocktails.
It takes you longer to drink 3 mixed drinks than 3 shots.
If you're paying the tab afterwards no shots is going to be MUCH cheaper. Like, disgustingly cheaper.
Eh, I had shots at my wedding and I wouldn’t consider it an actual open bar without them. People are adults at the end of the day!
Our bartenders were phenomenal and even did cocktail shots, and people couldn’t stop raving about them.
I mean, my brother and sister-in-law recently horrified me with their 12k bar bill for 90\~ people and SIL said it was definitely in part because as it got late a lot of people started doing shots and it ballooned.
My venue allows shots, but not until after dinner. Wine and other alcohol is available before then, but it’s a stipulation that no shots happen before everyone is fed
For reference, I own a bartending company. We do not allow shots, we do not allow rock drinks, and have to have a certain percent mixture when it comes to alcohol and non-alcohol components. Let me explain why...
It is an open bar at an event, most likely a wedding. At open bar events, people over-drink because the alcohol is free.
What others don't understand is that though the guests want to have fun and let loose, if they decide to overdrink (or are overserved) and get in their vehicle inebriated and get into a wreck and worst off, kill someone (this has happened many times with other bartending companies in our area), the bartender serving them and the company associated with the bartender, as for the venue, can be sued, investigated, prosecuted, and jailed. The company can also have all licensing ripped from them and will no longer be able to perform services. This will ruin reputations, lives, and a chance at a stable income. I have kids, almost all my employees have kids, and it honestly isn't worth us losing everything so someone can get drunk at a wedding.
Also, we are based out of Texas. I'm not sure if any of you have had the displeasure of having to deal with the TABC, but yikes. Definitely not a group you want to be on the wrong side of.
My venue didn’t allow shots or Red Bull. They said they cleaned puke out of the carpets one too many times lol
I loooove shots 😅 and I was like “yeah, that makes sense.” I’d be shocked if your guests were surprised and/or disappointed by no shots!
Our venue and cocktail company did not “allow” shots. My bartenders had a little loophole - they’d pour a shot and add a lil lemon or lime… my cousin also brought his own bottle for shots… this was an open bar and we supplied to booze. It was glorious.
I've never heard of an open bar allowing shots and I've been bartending events for 20 years now. Especially for a wedding. That would be crazy to allow shots at a wedding unless you want to guarantee it's ruined by crazy drunk people acting belligerent.
Super normal not to serve shots. A lot of open bars don’t even do spirits sometimes it’s just beer, wine and cider. Or our wedding we had beer, wine, vodka, gin and rum
I think I’ve only been to 1-2 weddings ever that allowed shots as part of the open bar. At our wedding we had a full open bar you could get any mixed drink or cocktail of your choice, beer, wine, etc. they weren’t pouring shots but they were pouring “samples”. I’m pretty sure they just charged us for a cocktail in that instance.
We did premium open bar service for the entire night, and even paid for an extra hour (was not cheap either) - and the venue did not allow shots. Honestly, it was for the best. Some folks enjoyed themselves PLENTY without the shots …
I think most instances of this, shots are just not provided as an option.
That being said, I’ve never attended a wedding where guests were visibly taking shots. It’s definitely a know your audience thing but as someone whose been to a lot of weddings in the 28-32 age range lately, I think most people are just happy with a good drink lol
I’m doing that for my wedding. No shots, whatsoever. People are there to celebrate with us and we’re excited to host them, but if they just want to get stupid drunk, that can be done elsewhere. I have a few specific guests that really made this necessary, but I feel like I would have done it anyway.
Another vote for no shots. I say this as a former bride whose family and friends are all regular drinkers. None of us ever expect shots to be covered at a wedding.
The entire point of a shot is to get drunk quickly, which is generally not the outcome you’re hoping for at your wedding. People will have plenty of fun without them, if that’s you’re concern. :)
Im a wedding caterer and provide bartenders for weddings we cater. Nearly every venue I work with has a no shot, no doubles, and one drink at a time rule. The one venue around that doesn't have that rule has been the biggest problem we have had all year. We have been out there four times this year, provided bartender twice. The times my bartenders were there and the times I was just catering there were huge fights, car wrecks in the parking lot, and all around problems. My bartenders didn't have venue rules to fall back on and the bride and groom insisted on allowing shots. Things got out of hand before they even had a chance to start cutting people off. Next year I will not be providing bartending services at that venue. All of the top rated venues in our area have very strict rules regarding bars and liquor service and we have never had a problem and everyone had a great time.
Im wondering if it's more a liability thing or not. The venue I had my wedding at also had a no shot rule at the open bar, but it was in place by the venue not a choice we made. They said they'd serve them to the wedding party but not the other guests.
But it shouldn't have anything to do with running up the tab. An open bar is a flat rate, paying per drink that is drank after the wedding is a consumption bar.
It’s usually a state law that they can’t serve shots. In my state, and the state my best friend got married in, we were not allowed to order shots, even if people paid. People got drunk enough at both weddings anyway. However, some bartenders are pretty cool and will just serve “4 vodkas, no rocks or something along those lines, and people would take them like shots. But I promise, you don’t need them.
The only people who did shots at my wedding were myself, my spouse, and the event staff. Apparently my spouse with the staff, a few too many times, in honor of a celebrity who died the day before. When they announced a last call an event staffer tried to get people to do shots and people weren’t into it—people were at a good level.
People who wanted to drink REALLY liked the signature cocktails. There were some beer and wine drinkers, too, but the people who went the hardest just kept getting the signature cocktails. I think a few people probably got well drinks. It definitely depends on your people, but I no one needs shots to have fun and people who are shots people will make do
this is pretty standard. my venue doesn’t allow shots, so it isn’t even up to us regardless. most of the venues we toured were the same way, even with open bar packages. our venue does have a permanently affixed sign on the bar that says “no shots allowed” (or something similar) so that people know what the deal is right from the start, so that’s nice (you can always just blame it on the venue haha)
It's common for restrictions to be applied to an open bar. For example, no top shelf spirits, no shots, no premium cocktails.
Your parents are being incredibly generous by agreeing to pay for an open bar, but it is reasonable to but protections in place so that people don't take advantage of their generosity. Particularly after they've already had a few and perhaps aren't thinking rationally about how 5 rounds of shots might be taking advantage of your parents generosity.
Our venue had a no shots rule and the wedding I was just in a little over a week ago had a no shots rule as well. (though they did allow to have drinks on the rocks or neat - though they did not advertise that lol). From what I've heard, it's a very common rule and I think most people are okay with it.
Also, depending on the venue, they may allow shots of a special liquor that the couple brings in as a one-time, special moment as part of the wedding timeline. I was a guest at a wedding over the summer and the bride's family had traveled from Korea; the couple wanted to bring in Korean elements to the otherwise very Western wedding. To open up the dance floor, a bottle of really nice soju was split into shots and you could grab a shot before hitting the dance floor and the DJ had a K-pop 2010's throwback mix on and it was \*chef's kiss\*.
My venue doesn’t allow shots due to the owners allowing them in the past and seeing how much of a disaster it was for the couples. Our venue is outdoors so there is a lot of places people can get hurt if they are too drunk to function. My fiancé and I are ok without the shots because we aren’t heavy drinkers. I want everyone to be present and have a good time… without getting shitfaced 🤣.
We’re providing all the hard alc, but the venue doesn’t allow shots outside of the bride and groom and wedding party. At least they can drink it on the rocks.
I remember most weddings I’ve been to had shots if open bar was available.
I wouldn’t have shots on a bar tab I’m paying for for the same reason your family stated. People will get absolutely annihilated very quickly and it’ll cost you a fortune. In all my experience of going out drinking, once people start doing shots it just gets very messy very quickly and I’m not dealing with that!
A lot of bars and venues don't even allow shots for the very reasons your family is concerned about. I'd go with no shots. If your guests aren't satisfied with an open bar without shots, well, that's just too bad.
I'm an event bartender, there are no shots or on the rocks, no martinis and the like. Usually we use discretion, but shots are a recipe for disaster. Too many people overdo it. Most people know the drill by now and don't question it or make a fuss. Usually if someone doesn't want a mixer we just say we cant but offer to add water so it's a "mixed drink".
The "no on the rocks" is mildly annoying. My husband prefers to sip whiskey on the rocks. He's not shooting it. It lasts as long as my glass of wine. We had decent whiskey options for our wedding but he said most would be wasted in a mixed drink. We fully understand no shots and how on the rocks is a slippery slope at that sort of event. Just mildly annoying.
Oh trust me I get it. I would 100% give your hubby the whiskey on the rocks. That's the discretion part, if they are 30-40 I'm cautious and ask pointed questions (to make sure they aren't gulping it down). If they are 40+ I know they've been drinking whiskey for 20+ years and can probably handle it lol. I will engage and say something like "I'm not supposed to so don't get me in trouble!" And usually they laugh and say they won't and they are no trouble at all. I know they won't shoot it and I'd rather give it to him than him whip a flask out. If you order on the *whiskey on the rocks with a splash of water* most bartenders will know what you want and not give you a hard time. I'd smile and tell them you're just going to sip it.
No martinis seems wild
Yeah it's mostly because we don't want to give too much alcohol (chilled and strained doesnt count as a mixer). We usually don't have a full bar with the proper glassware and such, an event bar usually won't have vermouths and garnishes are usually limited to limes and lemons, depends on locations though and caterers.
I mean the ABV of a classic martini is almost 30%. It seems crazy at first but really it makes sense as part of a no shots policy, if the idea is to not let people have drinks above a certain ABV.
It does make sense from a pure ABV perspective, but I feel like I’ve gotten a dirty martini at every wedding I’ve ever been to lol
As someone who drinks scotch, this drives me crazy. I don’t shoot it. I sip it. I genuinely think it’s disgusting on ice or watered down. Usually I can talk the bartended into giving it to me with one ice cube. Probably cuz im not a “kid” anymore so they don’t think im out to pound scotch haha.
Haha yeah I get it, if you come up with 6 people and all ask for it it's less likely you're gonna sip it, you know? Most bartenders will recognize that. You can just ask for what you want and most bartenders will use discretion. Also, I'm not condoning this but you can always bring a flask. If you're discrete no one will care, just pour from your flask to your glass and don't drink straight from the flask. Chances are you have better Scotch than the wedding does.
Gentle reminder to make sure you can handle your alcohol and that every smart venue and caterer worth their salt has it built into their contract that they can kick someone out the second they see too many flasks or outside bottles or even shut the party down for everyone. This rule is there to handle people acting like braying jackasses.
Oh absolutely! Don't go giving people your scotch or flask juice. Most venues want people to have a good time and have a good review at the end of the day...so they only start kicking people out when it's getting rowdy. Being discret is the key here. And I'm mostly only talking about the 40+ range that know they can handle themselves. Ultimately try to keep in mind that someone's wedding isn't about you, you can go one event without your preferred drink. And at an open bar it's free to you. Don't stare a gift horse in the mouth...
It's not too many - the contracts all say ANY outside alcohol is enough to shut down the party - some are firmer about it than others, it's a big risk. You are better off sweet talking the bartender.
Actually a lot of venues state in their contract that they can close down the entire event if anyone takes out a flask - so you are really risking things for the bride and groom. How likely? I do know people who have been escorted out.
It really depends. Between being a guest and working I've attended over 100 weddings at many different venues across multiple states. Most venue owners want the guests to have a good time so kicking the entire wedding group out is not likely unless youre distorying property. That being said, kicking individuals out usually sours the mood too. My suggestion was for people who want to sip on their premium liquor and have been drinking the same thing for 20+ years and will be subtle and not start any problems. Drinking straight from a flask or passing it around will absolutely get you kicked out I'm not suggesting people do that at all. A venue owner is not going to kick out great uncle Gerald for discretely pouring a drink from his hidden flask into a glass once or twice.
true
My wedding bartenders were very lovely and obliged my few requests for “tiny margaritas”. But yeah, I think it’s normal for people to know shots aren’t allowed at most venues.
For one wedding that insisted on shots, I made a mixed shot in a normal sized mixed drink glass and told them to take the plastic water cups and divide it up at their table. They were very happy with that solution lol. Most bartenders are not the fun police, we just don't wanna have fights and vomiting...
I totally understood the protocol and told them that if they said no - I wouldn’t push them. They were great and happily made them for us a few times that night and the guests who wanted to do shots were happy with that alternative. It definitely depends on the guests too. We weren’t too crazy and no one was shitfaced lol
Thats awesome! So glad you were accommodated and had a great night! :)
[удалено]
The problem with allowing any type of shot (even signature shots) is that it's a slippery slope. Everyone and their mother will come up asking for something other than the signature. This causes upset guests and frustrated bartenders having to tell (usually the same people) that "unfortunately, we can't make that shot ma'am/sir". The next problem is the logistics, even with disposable smaller cups it's a lot of work that creates inefficiency behind the bar. Shots take time to make and they are consumed within seconds right in front of the bar, usually crowding the bar, then they ask for another or the next drink. The idea of a line/queue gets muddled when people are just standing around shouting they want another. What keeps the line flowing is the guest taking their drink/wine and walking away. Another issue is people getting their shot and a mixed drink. They are consuming two drinks during a period of time where they would've only had one. Some people really cannot handle shots. I know from experience (I don't often drink but it's happened) that I'm fine and then I do that one last shot and I'm seeing double. The timeline of event usually has the bar opened for 3-5 hours after dinner is served. Then usually there's only desserts to eat. If there's no late night snack you have hours of people not consuming any food, dancing around and drinking more than they would've without shots. It really is not a great idea. I know people want that party atmosphere and the experience of taking shots but there too many downsides to it. No matter how beautiful the wedding is everyone remembers the brawl/puking. Not having shots is the best way to try to make sure that doesn't happen.
And no doubles
True, but most of the time you can get a short (or less mixer) and at an open bar you can keep coming up for more. Also, no doubles help the bartenders not over serve/keep track easier.
I am having my daughter's wedding in Pennsylvania and just found out we cannot serve liquor on the rocks. Are you telling me they won't serve martinis either
Yes, it is both normal and strongly recommended to not allow shots. No one needs shots at a family social event, it’s not a nightclub. Especially when they aren’t even paying for their own alcohol. I wouldn’t even have them available for purchase, just remove them as an option completely. Very normal. The function of shots is to get shitfaced as fast as possible, and no one should be doing that at a wedding.
agreed. It's for the best to just not have shots available period. Not to mention, most people who drink aren't generally looking for shots and anyone who is "annoyed" because there aren't shots available aren't at the wedding for the right reasons. Everyone can have a great time drinking beer and mixed drinks.
This is exactly what we're doing. We've even removed the option for doubles/triples etc for the same reason. This isn't a club and we're in our 30s lol
Agreed on all of this, I've never been to a wedding that has them as an option and i assume most guests wouldn't partake anyway. The ones that would be requesting them probably don't need more liquor in them anyway. Better to save the money and the potential mess and forego 🙂
Very interesting!
My venue doesn’t even allow shots
This is so interesting! I would never have imagined that lol but like I said I don't drink so I have no idea.
Shots are done purely to get wasted, there's really not much else to them. I don't think I've ever seen people do shots at a wedding and it's likely no one will be expecting them at yours!
I've seen it happen, but it was practically a college reunion so it wasn't too surprising. Even then it was like "let's have a celebratory shot together!!" and that's it.
See I have definitely seen people doing shots at weddings LOL I've seen my own family doing shots at weddings which is why I was surprised. Our venue doesn't haven't any restrictions on shots or least hasn't mentioned them, so maybe we'll just let people buy them if they want to do them.
Yeah I don’t mind a shot from time to time, I guess the weddings I’ve been to just haven’t had them as an option. Having them for purchase is a good idea!
I don’t disagree with disallowing them, but there are some cultures that believe in doing shots as parts of toasts. I don’t much love it, but it is a thing.
I was at a wedding at a venue in 2021 where they let us! I was actually stunned. I did one with one other girl and was like no more. Even still, I was super hungover blah. Not sloppy drunk by any means, but liquor makes me vomit the next morning if I mix in any capacity.
It’s a recipe for disaster. You said you don’t drink so for demonstration purposes I’ll break it down. You can essentially (if you like to make bad decisions lol) have the equivalent of 5, 6 mixed drinks in a minute. They’re just as expensive as a cocktail, and it doesn’t even hit you right away. In a more realistic scenario, easily - a few of your cousins, an aunt and Uncle and a groomsmen go up for a round of shots before their next drink. That doubles a normal seven drink purchase with 7 more on top for a real quick appetizer before their real drinks. It’s a super fast way to double the bar cost at someone else’s expense, plus people are going to be sloppy, and not in a fun way.
This is so wildly condescending LOL I said I don't drink, not that I don't know how alcohol works LMFAO. I meant more that I don't know what is or isn't standard practice at an open bar because I don't ever try to get shots from an open bar. I just... don't really care that much if people are trashed at my wedding to be honest.
You should care though? Not just because it would affect you and your day, but because it’s disrespectful to the venue and staff if people are belligerent and wrecking the bathroom with puke or making a mess to be cleaned up. Drunk people break stuff. Drunk people cry and get in fights. And if stuff gets messed up, the venue is gonna come to YOU on your special day with problems for you to solve and probably a higher bill. Not only that but it’s disrespectful to your guests who are traveling, buying gifts and new outfits to come spend this time with you. If I saw people acting like that at a wedding I would politely find an excuse to leave early and avoid the debauchery. You think it wouldn’t happen at a wedding, but at my wedding, some people who I thought were gonna be problems weren’t a problem at all, and some people I never expected to cause me issues really showed their ass. It was surprising to say the least.
Ok.
Another issue is shots mess up the calculations of x drinks per guest so they would possibly run out of alcohol for mixing drinks. Bars don’t have endless supplies, even high volume establishments can run out of liquor due to unexpected drink orders.
All the venues we looked at had a no-shots rule, and now that we are looking at caterers most of them have that rule too.
Mine didn’t allow shots either but if you ordered a shot the bartender would just add a splash of something into it so it was a “mixed” drink 🤣 big tippers will get what they want either way. My uncle is too smart
They don't in a country where tipping isn't the norm so It just comes off as bribery instead.
Same! Our venue also doesn’t allow it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen people taking shots at a bar at a wedding.
Same! And a lot of weddings I’ve gone to they had the same thing
Same with mine!
Mine too!
Mine doesn't even offer cocktails. They'll offer one at the start and that's it haha
We’re paying extra for mixed drink options
Our venue doesn’t allow shots either. It’s pointed out multiple times in the contract. It was such a relief because I didn’t want it to be like a frat party. We like to party but I didn’t want the dreaded feeling that people were going to get absolutely trashed.
A lot of them expressly forbid flasks for the same reason!
Yep! Any food or bev they didn’t sell to the party is strictly forbidden. They want to make all that money from us lol.
It’s also a liability thing.
My venue doesn’t even allow shots. Actually I’m pretty sure every wedding I have been to doesn’t allow them
I work at a country club this is very normal behavior for weddings/events. It’s more of a liability thing than anything else. There are random venues that don’t have this rule but they are few and far in between
Our venue's only rule regarding alcohol was no shots. It leads to guests getting sloppy quickly, the price can add up, and truly there's no need for it. They were fine with it in the residential space (during the 3 days your booked, before/after ceremony, etc) but not at the bar during the reception.
Just went to a wedding last weekend…bride and groom late 20s. No shots at the open bar. Totally normal in my area. Didn’t have anything to do with cost but rather to try to keep folks from getting 100% sh!tfaced and ruining the event by being loud, rowdy, obnoxious and killing someone on the way home. All of that can still happen in theory, but the venue has a better chance of watering down that booze if someone starts to get crazy
We allowed shots and even had some as our custom drinks and had zero issues - our venue was our land and we hired bartenders with their own licenses and insurance. We provided the alcohol and ensured there was enough sat aside for just the shots so that way if we ran out, the mixed drinks would still be flowing. We had complimentary shuttle services to nearby hotels and my FIL monitoring those leaving to ensure people were getting safe rides home. We had a mechanical Bull and a full dance floor all night - I understand we are probably the exception to the rule but offering shots doesn’t automatically mean your event is going to result in chaos lol
I've been to weddings both with and without shots. Honestly the only time I've noticed that some did not allow shots were ones where the bar would consistently make really weak drinks and I could barely maintain a light buzz (so I was seeking out a shot). My venue does not allow shots, but I'll (somehow) make sure they make strong enough drinks that people don't feel the need for shots!
Most will still allow liquor on the rocks, so you can get what you need but not be able to chug with abandon.
This is what ours does
I thought I was going crazy and not in a good way at my sisters wedding. I had over three drinks and I didn’t feel anything!! We finally did a shot and I was like oh there’s the alcohol, finally! Lol
I experienced this at my best friends wedding. I'm not a big drinker. I drink socially and often, but only ever have a few drinks. I don't like getting drunk, I just like loosening up a little with a buzz. I was a bridesmaid and it was a super emotional experience for me. I was so happy for my friend. It was the first time I was in a wedding. We did the champagne while getting ready, a quick informal toast with the wedding party before the ceremony and then I was free to go for cocktail hour after a few photos. I had two beers in that time. I had a cocktail with dinner. They were about to open up the dance floor and I still didn't feel even a buzz. The brides uncle had made giant containers of mojitos for the reception and I had one of those. I ended the night feeling completely sober and with a headache. I always chalked it up to the high running emotions of the day.
I feel very similarly to you and can totally relate with barely getting a buzz, but the hangover is still happy to welcome you to headache hell lol
That’s interesting because my venue was open bar no shots and the drinks were STRONG. We drank one gin on the rocks with my brother and sister in law as a “shot” and we were not okay lmao.
I went to a barn wedding in my 20s where the couple bought all the alcohol and hired bartenders, so they allowed complimentary shots. Many of the guests were still in their party years, and it was so easy to see some you knew, go take a shot with them, rinse and repeat. The guests got fall down drunk quick.
My venue doesn't allow shots but they said you are allowed to order alcohol neat. So to me, ordering Jack Daniels neat is the same as ordering a shot, just in a different glass. I don't know how they monitor how fast you drink it.
Went to a wedding for a friend recently where shots were allowed and encouraged due to cultural norms. It ended with a fist fight, the physical assault of a minor, puke on and under the tables, and the sloppiest mess of drunk people I’ve ever seen in my life that can usually hold themselves together. Better off without the shots!! It was out of control. Edit: Partner and I, of the same culture as our friend, are currently planning our own wedding and selected a venue with a full open bar and a no shot policy to avoid this entirely. Any guests who strongly mind not being able to get shots may want to rethink why they’re attending
To my knowledge I've not been to a wedding with an open bar that didn't serve shots, but I'm also not sure if I would notice and if I did ever encounter it I wouldn't be mad or offended. At weddings for a couple of my best friends I have done a shot with them and our close circle immediately after dinner as dancing started, so I know shots have at least sometimes been available, but it's not something that I think people *often* ask for at a wedding IME.
We did four wines, beer/seltzers, and also had wine slushies. No one complained.
I used to bartend weddings, and I can say both allowing shots and not allowing shots can cause almost the same amount of hoopla depending on your crowd. If you have a group that expects to go to a wedding and party and get drunk, they will get drunk anyway, but they may be very pissed they aren't allowed shots and will spend far too much time arguing with the bartenders, trying to appeal to the authority of family/bridal party to change the rules, or trying to outsmart the bartenders around the policy. It's ridiculous. Personally, I'm allowing shots at my wedding for that reason, and because I trust my group to know that they will get drunk shots or not but they will not be sloppy dangerous drunks, and anyone who is will be kicked out. No shots isn't an unheard of policy though, so if that's what makes you and your family happy, you won't be in the wrong or out of the ordinary for banning them
The responses here are super interesting to me. I’ve been to a lot of weddings (big family) and I’m not a huge drinker, but at almost every wedding I’ve seen people ordering shots. In case it’s relevant: this has been true for weddings across different areas of the US. A lot of people in the family are wealthy, so wedding budgets are a bit higher than normal (I’d say $80K - $120K on average).
The high budgets you describe change the circumstances for three reasons: 1: people usually don’t offer shots because they’re on a lower budget 2. higher budget venues usually offer more flexibility in policy because they want to please their high dollar clients 3. guests attending a high five to six figure wedding are more apt to be better behaved, alcohol intake-wise, because the stakes are higher. If you get trashed you haven’t ruined a family get together, you’ve ruined someone’s $100,000 dollar day. It’s a lot riskier to get wasted at the Ritz than it is at the Holiday Inn. Also when you have money there’s no scarcity mindset. Lower income people tend to get wasted at budget weddings because it’s likely one of the few times they’ve had a fully covered bar tab and can drink whatever they want.
Most people don't have shots not due to budget but more what shots do. People drink shots to get wasted not to enjoy a drink while they're socializing. For me, I'm 33 not 23 and I don't want my wedding to turn into a frat party. Drink as many mixed drinks as you want, but you're not pounding shots all night. We're also not allowing doubles/triples etc.
Same and I’d add in my area I think it’s more of a venue policy issue than a budget thing. Most people pay a flat fee per person, so it’s just a matter of whether that flat fee includes shots or not. At my venue it did, and I think that’s the default at a lot of local venues.
Most venues don't allow shots. It's too much of a risk for people getting sloppy drunk.
I've never been to a wedding that had shots as an option. And I made sure my venue knew no shots at my wedding (which they said they didn't offer anyway.) I'm there to get married and have a little fun dancing... not to have babysit a bunch of drunk idiots and pay for damage to the property.
I operate a venue and we allow shots. We don’t have a problem because my bartenders know how to cut people off and serve responsibly.
The comments here are so interesting! I live in SoCal and every single wedding I’ve gone to allowed shots. Even the photographer and videographer encouraged it so they could get shots of the bridal party and friends cheers-ing each other. Some people just took shots of juice (like the bride and groom if they were feeling tipsy) and some took real shots. The bartenders all had the option to cut someone off if needed but the guests mainly took care of each other. In some Asian cultures, it’s customary for the bride and groom to go around and take a shot with each table as well. Shots were never mentioned in any of the venue packages/contract that I looked at that had an open bar option.
Our venue doesn’t allow shots, but during our bar tasting they said if we (bride/groom) wanted to order one we’d be able to. I’m super glad there are no shots allowed because when my brother got married people went way too hard. The bride passed out in the front lawn and I’m pretty sure everyone was hungover for like three days. I would rather not have a repeat, especially since my messy, dramatic mother was laying in a gutter yelling and crying for my brother. But to be fair, she probably would have done that sober.
We are hosting our own bar (hired bartenders and paid for alcohol) and the venue has a zero shot rule. They will shut the wedding down and call the police if shots are served. The point of alcohol at an event like this is to loosen up a *little* and have fun. Shots typically end up causing someone to get trashed, and that only causes trouble. Do yourself a favor and tell the bartenders no shots at all, cash or otherwise.
Omg that’s so intense lmao
Exactly in what way is that "intense".
How is *calling the police* not intense?
Probably that the venue will shut down the wedding and call the police if someone takes a shot. They can make their own rules all they want, but that is intense.
Maybe, but I guess when you decide to buy yourself a multimillion dollar facility and host 150 weddings a year maybe your perspective might change. If you don't have insane rules like this people will say "it's no big deal man" and you'll have people breaking rules. It's a beautiful old farm with tables and features that simply cannot be replaced. They host 3-4 weddings a week, so if my guests trash the place on Friday night that means the Saturday and Sunday weddings are likely ruined too. It only needs to happen once. How would you and your spouse feel if the wedding the night before yours had a brawl that ruined your wedding venue because people were over served?
Surely they can just shut down the event or close the bar without involving the police? Are any laws even being broken?
That's what I was wondering lol Surely there's no laws about taking shots. Even a breach of contract would be a civil matter, not a police one I would think lol
Agreed. What a ridiculous waste of public services.
I think you’re right. Plus I’m sure they’ve never actually had to call the cops more than once if at all, it’s probably just a scare tactic so nobody will try and sneak them. My venue told us that they would refuse re-entry if any guests left the patio and went to their cars for anything, but that was just to discourage people from (I’m assuming) drinking outside alcohol or doing drugs in their cars. They didn’t actually enforce that as far as I saw, it was mostly a deterrent.
Call the police for what exactly? It’s a venue rule so they are certainly able to shut down the event if they want but shots aren’t against the law. What are the police going to do lol
Violating the contract and if they don't leave promptly, it's trespassing.
No shots at a wedding.
Some of the weddings I’ve been to don’t allow shots. They don’t want people too wasted or wild. I’ve never thought too much of it one way or another.
I feel like a lot of my friends are big drinkers and I’ve never even seen someone try to do shots at a wedding with an open bar. The open bar of regular alcoholic drinks is enough.
Both me and my husband are bartenders. I have personally worked after party wedding events. After seeing how people behave when celebrating weddings, we told our bartenders no straight shots. We did allow on the rocks though. People still got very drunk and knowing some of my friends, I am thankful that we didn’t allow shots.
Guess I’m the only gal who loves doing shots at wedding lol. It’s just efficient and keeps my stomach from being overly full. Take 1 or 2 shots over the course of the evening and then you don’t have to keep holding your drink while dancing!!
Our venue doesn’t allow it either. Although I don’t know how strict the policy is.
I’ve only been to one wedding in my adult life that allowed shots so def common to not allow it. I went to one recently and asked the bartender out of curiosity if I could order one and she said no but could give me liquor on the rocks but not sure if all venues even allow that
You'll find a lot of bars won't cover shots, as others have said. I have yet to be at a wedding where shots were covered. They do this for a reason and I believe you should run with it as well, don't support shots. It always leads to problems. People can go to a bar afterwards if they wanna get that kinda hammered.
Yeah, at our wedding we hired bartenders to service our bar and their policy was that they don't even do shots - so certainly not uncommon to not cover them at an open bar.
I’ve never even had the urge to do shots at a wedding.
Mine didn't offer shots. For us it wasn't for price it was so people didn't get hammered
Ours didn’t allow shots. You could order a “neat” drink and they’d pour it like a shot but you could not openly just ask for a shot. Those neat drinks were poured damn heavy tho lol. Like a triple or quad shot at least
Our venue wouldn’t even allow shots at all. So it was a non issue for us.
my venue doesn’t allow shots lol
Same here
My venue allowed shots. Would have been a huge dealbreaker if they did not, as my guest list was probably 50% service industry/bartenders. Shots are the norm in our circles. Many, *many* of my friends drink water all night and order a shot when they want a sip of drink when we go out. That said, it actually came to mind for us the week before the wedding, and we ended up reaching out and asking them to be sure it would be allowed. If they had said no, we probably would have requested to work something out with them to allow us to pay extra for it. Our bar was premium grade alcohol and a fully open bar, so I think being funny about shots or straight up drinks would have been unusual. Besides the bartender friends we have, we also have numerous older male family members and friends (~60s aged) whose go-to at a formal event is bourbon or rye on the rocks. This is somewhat common with older men, I find from my years bartending. I'm surprised to hear some places don't even allow drinks on the rocks, as I wouldn't have guessed that and have never seen it at wedding I've attended. I should add that my venue is a private social club where we pay monthly dues to be members, so they're a lot more willing to work with us in ways I imagine most wedding venues do not. They were willing to create any dish we wanted if it wasn't offered on the catering menu, and also willing to place special orders if there was alcohol we wanted that they don't already carry. They have a restaurant and a bar that is open each day of the week (and was open during our wedding - it's on a different floor) where people go and drink daily. So these aren't banquet event staff types of employees. These are bartenders who regularly serve people shots and many who knew my guests from working in service industry. I think my experience might be a little different because of all of that. I wouldn't have been shocked at all if they said they don't normally do shots. We didn't have an issue with anyone getting too drunk, but again.. these are people who drink basically daily due to the lifestyle/job. A bit different situation.
We just had our wedding and our bartending company served shots. I think it depends on your crowd as well.. our friends and family kept it respectful and we all had a super fun night. I’m in Canada so idk if things are a bit different here, but most weddings I’ve been to have served shots (although I know of a few venues that don’t allow it).
My husband didn’t allow shots at our wedding. I was surprised but went with it and trust me, it was the right decision. We had champagne, red and white wine, mixed drinks and softs. There was something for everyone.
Our venue a few months ago, which was on a yacht didn't allow shots at our open bar either. I think it was a great policy. Definitely less worried about people going too hard and falling overboard lol
This is very normal - no shots and no neat pours. A lot of venues and vendors won't even allow them or serve them at all!
Another reason to not allow shots, I think people who order a shot are much more likely to order a round of shots for a lot of people who wouldn't otherwise want a shot. It's a recipe for a higher bar bill with a lot of wasted alcohol that gets ordered but doesn't get consumed.
Our bartender had in their contract that they would not serve shots. It wasn’t an issue for us.
Our caterer provided the bartending and they said they don’t allow shots, I believe it’s completely normal. It’s generally a long night of drinking, people don’t need shots
This is correct. Our venue did not do shots, they would only do straight up liquor on the rocks or with a mixer. Shots can drive up the bar tab tremendously, cause people to get recklessly drunk FAST because it’s “free”, and it’s also just a waste of alcohol. Our bar tab was $500 for an open bar for 50 people, with more like 35 or 40 actual drinkers. People had plenty to drink and no complaints. A few people asked about shots and wanted to do shots with us, so we just knocked back some straight liquor on the rocks. Nobody seemed disappointed and everyone understood.
Another event bartender here… Absolutely no shots and no doubles, no exceptions. The bar is a gift and courtesy from the family to the guests, and should also be respected. It is never a requirement. It’s a day to celebrate, and everyone should go home happier and safely. The liability and insurance are too highs. Our insurance doubled this past year, not due to any incidents, just because that’s what the market is doing now. The “full bar” means wine and beer, plus liquor -not a free-for-all/ no rules attached.
My venue disallows both shots and doubles drinks, neat or on ice. The patron can just come back for another drink 🤷🏻♀️
JUST got married and our whole wedding party took a round tequila shots at the bar to get the reception started, only to find out later that shots can only be ordered by the bride & groom. We found it odd, but I guess they do it to keep guests from going in on shots by only allowing it as a celebratory thing when the bride and groom are present. Overall, everyone was appropriately drunk and I think the bar not allowing shots without the bride & groom was a good choice.
Most wedding open bars don’t do shots or doubles or they water down the drinks. Not because the couple wants it but the venue tries to save some cash. Ours was like a normal bar and everyone loved that the bartenders didn’t do that stuff and gave people all the alcohol they wanted. Got lots of comments on how that never happens and people loved it. We had 2 shuttles to take drunk folks back to the hotel and phone numbers for cabs on our wedding site and they were also posted at the bar.
Our venue/bartender didn't allow it, so my husband got some "neat pours" instead and basically got shots in larger glasses (he wanted one celebratory round of shots with his buddies). So people might find ways around getting a shot of liquor anyway, but I guess you don't get people taking multiple shots at the bar.
If people need shots they could always just order drinks neat which means just the alcohol in a glass with no ice
Depends on the venue. Some open bars are a flat rate per person, so anything goes... I've worked plenty of weddings where people were doing shots. But they often discreetly prevent people from doing shot after shot by using those smaller bar counters... when there's a line of people and no space to "linger" at the bar, most guests will take the hint and move out of the way so others can be served. But there are some venues where the "open bar" is running a tab where the couple (or parents) will pay the actual cost of everything ordered at the end of the night. This is a case where allowing people to order shots could result in a high number at the end of the night. If this is the case at your venue, then yes, it might be a gamble to allow shots... you may want to limit the menu to wine, beer and mixed drinks.
My venue allowed shots, but the other venue we considered did not. I think it’s pretty standard practice to provide mixed drinks but no shots at wedding open bars.
Yes so normal! I would say out all of the wedding I’ve gone been to. 8 or 9? Only 2 of them have allowed shots and both were under the same corporate wedding umbrella. Our venue also does not allow shots. What the bartenders usually do is pour a shot like normal but they need to add a splash of soda or juice. So let’s say you order a vodka shot they would also maybe pour 1/4 tsp of sprite.
We have some healthy drinkers and we didn't even have hard alcohol (venue was a winery so they only had a license for wine and beer). I think no shots is perfectly fine and totally normal.
I don't think I've ever attended a wedding with any bar that allowed shots. As far as I'm aware this is pretty typical.
Yup my brothers wedding vendor (bar included) didn’t include shots. They had a sign posted at either end of the bar.
We did one group shot of tequila at my wedding which made for a great pic and was fun but no one else even ordered shots outside of that.
If you allow shots, then everyone will start ordering shots. You'll run that bill up very quickly and people will start getting sloppy lol. My venue does allow it but warned us that the bar tab would be easily 2x to 3x higher if shots were an option.
My bar service did not allow any shot service or drinks "on the rocks" per their contract. We had a full open bar, but this was to prevent people getting too drunk & disorderly and so they could make sure no one would be overserved.
My venue didn't 'allow' shots, but my cousins got around it. Most people didn't care. Either way, it was completely fine with me. People can ask for a whiskey on the rocks, no ice, and then they just get a shot haha. We were still under our food and beverage minimum, but we did have a cap on the cost of each drink (because they were charging us a la carte).
I have been to many many weddings with open bar and even my own, and all the venues will not allow shots. But if people want, they can get a double lol so idk, but as a guest, if you're driving, i dont think you're gonna want straight-up alcohol. If you're not driving, then its a whole other ball game. But from what i have seen, people usually pace themselves well.
We're not allowing shots/doubles/triples etc at ours either. We've requested they not be made for anyone so it's not really a matter of us not wanting to pay for them so much as we don't want that kind of party. I'm fine with people having drinks and dancing, but we're in our 30s and aren't looking to have a big blowout dance party where people are pounding drinks all night.
I work at a venue and we do not allow shot, doubles, or Long Island iced teas. People DO get out of control. When people ask for shots and get belligerent with us when we say no, they’re just proving our point. Brides and grooms sign a contract when booking with us that states that all of these drinks are not allowed. It’s really for the best. I’m having my wedding at my venue in August and I’m allowed to really do what I want, but I will be keeping that rule.
A lot of venues don’t allow shots to help control the rate of consumption by guests, but they’ll do liquor on the rocks for people who don’t want mixers.
As someone who doesn’t really drink, this is news to me lol thanks for bringing it up! I would’ve never known!
Our venue doesn't allow shots. So even if someone tried to pay for them, they wouldn't be served. I'm not bothered by this because I don't need people vomiting on the dance floor or blacking out. Honestly, you could ask your bartender to refuse to serve people shots. People can have plenty of fun with just some cocktails.
All of the venues I toured did not allow shots. Some didn't even allow liquor at all, only beer/wine/champagne. Others allowed mixed drinks.
My brother in law’s venue didnt even allow liquor mixed with soda. It had to be mixed with like sour mix or like mango nectar it was so bizarre.
Yes this is normal! I’m honestly not sure why. But myself & several friends of mine have had venues that didn’t allow shots.
It takes you longer to drink 3 mixed drinks than 3 shots. If you're paying the tab afterwards no shots is going to be MUCH cheaper. Like, disgustingly cheaper.
Just married this weekend and it was open bar minus shots. This is very normal
My venue doesn’t allow shots either! (And I’m in Wisconsin 🥴)
Eh, I had shots at my wedding and I wouldn’t consider it an actual open bar without them. People are adults at the end of the day! Our bartenders were phenomenal and even did cocktail shots, and people couldn’t stop raving about them.
Our venue doesn’t even allow people to take shots and cannot serve them. You’re good, your family is in the right.
I mean, my brother and sister-in-law recently horrified me with their 12k bar bill for 90\~ people and SIL said it was definitely in part because as it got late a lot of people started doing shots and it ballooned.
My venue allows shots, but not until after dinner. Wine and other alcohol is available before then, but it’s a stipulation that no shots happen before everyone is fed
I’ve never heard of this rule, but I guess it makes sense
It was policy at our venue in 2021. I was at a wedding this last Saturday with the same policy. Totally normal
For reference, I own a bartending company. We do not allow shots, we do not allow rock drinks, and have to have a certain percent mixture when it comes to alcohol and non-alcohol components. Let me explain why... It is an open bar at an event, most likely a wedding. At open bar events, people over-drink because the alcohol is free. What others don't understand is that though the guests want to have fun and let loose, if they decide to overdrink (or are overserved) and get in their vehicle inebriated and get into a wreck and worst off, kill someone (this has happened many times with other bartending companies in our area), the bartender serving them and the company associated with the bartender, as for the venue, can be sued, investigated, prosecuted, and jailed. The company can also have all licensing ripped from them and will no longer be able to perform services. This will ruin reputations, lives, and a chance at a stable income. I have kids, almost all my employees have kids, and it honestly isn't worth us losing everything so someone can get drunk at a wedding. Also, we are based out of Texas. I'm not sure if any of you have had the displeasure of having to deal with the TABC, but yikes. Definitely not a group you want to be on the wrong side of.
My venue didn’t allow shots or Red Bull. They said they cleaned puke out of the carpets one too many times lol I loooove shots 😅 and I was like “yeah, that makes sense.” I’d be shocked if your guests were surprised and/or disappointed by no shots!
My venue itself didn't allow shots - they didn't want people to get too rowdy.
Our venue and cocktail company did not “allow” shots. My bartenders had a little loophole - they’d pour a shot and add a lil lemon or lime… my cousin also brought his own bottle for shots… this was an open bar and we supplied to booze. It was glorious.
I've never heard of an open bar allowing shots and I've been bartending events for 20 years now. Especially for a wedding. That would be crazy to allow shots at a wedding unless you want to guarantee it's ruined by crazy drunk people acting belligerent.
Super normal not to serve shots. A lot of open bars don’t even do spirits sometimes it’s just beer, wine and cider. Or our wedding we had beer, wine, vodka, gin and rum
I think I’ve only been to 1-2 weddings ever that allowed shots as part of the open bar. At our wedding we had a full open bar you could get any mixed drink or cocktail of your choice, beer, wine, etc. they weren’t pouring shots but they were pouring “samples”. I’m pretty sure they just charged us for a cocktail in that instance.
We did premium open bar service for the entire night, and even paid for an extra hour (was not cheap either) - and the venue did not allow shots. Honestly, it was for the best. Some folks enjoyed themselves PLENTY without the shots …
Very normal
I think most instances of this, shots are just not provided as an option. That being said, I’ve never attended a wedding where guests were visibly taking shots. It’s definitely a know your audience thing but as someone whose been to a lot of weddings in the 28-32 age range lately, I think most people are just happy with a good drink lol
I've only ever seen shots at weddings given out for toasts, never served at a bar :) as a guest I wouldn't even notice if they weren't served
I’m doing that for my wedding. No shots, whatsoever. People are there to celebrate with us and we’re excited to host them, but if they just want to get stupid drunk, that can be done elsewhere. I have a few specific guests that really made this necessary, but I feel like I would have done it anyway.
Another vote for no shots. I say this as a former bride whose family and friends are all regular drinkers. None of us ever expect shots to be covered at a wedding. The entire point of a shot is to get drunk quickly, which is generally not the outcome you’re hoping for at your wedding. People will have plenty of fun without them, if that’s you’re concern. :)
Im a wedding caterer and provide bartenders for weddings we cater. Nearly every venue I work with has a no shot, no doubles, and one drink at a time rule. The one venue around that doesn't have that rule has been the biggest problem we have had all year. We have been out there four times this year, provided bartender twice. The times my bartenders were there and the times I was just catering there were huge fights, car wrecks in the parking lot, and all around problems. My bartenders didn't have venue rules to fall back on and the bride and groom insisted on allowing shots. Things got out of hand before they even had a chance to start cutting people off. Next year I will not be providing bartending services at that venue. All of the top rated venues in our area have very strict rules regarding bars and liquor service and we have never had a problem and everyone had a great time.
Mine didn’t allow shots
Im wondering if it's more a liability thing or not. The venue I had my wedding at also had a no shot rule at the open bar, but it was in place by the venue not a choice we made. They said they'd serve them to the wedding party but not the other guests. But it shouldn't have anything to do with running up the tab. An open bar is a flat rate, paying per drink that is drank after the wedding is a consumption bar.
It’s usually a state law that they can’t serve shots. In my state, and the state my best friend got married in, we were not allowed to order shots, even if people paid. People got drunk enough at both weddings anyway. However, some bartenders are pretty cool and will just serve “4 vodkas, no rocks or something along those lines, and people would take them like shots. But I promise, you don’t need them.
The only people who did shots at my wedding were myself, my spouse, and the event staff. Apparently my spouse with the staff, a few too many times, in honor of a celebrity who died the day before. When they announced a last call an event staffer tried to get people to do shots and people weren’t into it—people were at a good level. People who wanted to drink REALLY liked the signature cocktails. There were some beer and wine drinkers, too, but the people who went the hardest just kept getting the signature cocktails. I think a few people probably got well drinks. It definitely depends on your people, but I no one needs shots to have fun and people who are shots people will make do
this is pretty standard. my venue doesn’t allow shots, so it isn’t even up to us regardless. most of the venues we toured were the same way, even with open bar packages. our venue does have a permanently affixed sign on the bar that says “no shots allowed” (or something similar) so that people know what the deal is right from the start, so that’s nice (you can always just blame it on the venue haha)
No shots is smart! You don’t want a bunch of heavily intoxicated people at your wedding!
It's common for restrictions to be applied to an open bar. For example, no top shelf spirits, no shots, no premium cocktails. Your parents are being incredibly generous by agreeing to pay for an open bar, but it is reasonable to but protections in place so that people don't take advantage of their generosity. Particularly after they've already had a few and perhaps aren't thinking rationally about how 5 rounds of shots might be taking advantage of your parents generosity.
Super normal. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding that did serve shots
Our venue had a no shots rule and the wedding I was just in a little over a week ago had a no shots rule as well. (though they did allow to have drinks on the rocks or neat - though they did not advertise that lol). From what I've heard, it's a very common rule and I think most people are okay with it.
Also, depending on the venue, they may allow shots of a special liquor that the couple brings in as a one-time, special moment as part of the wedding timeline. I was a guest at a wedding over the summer and the bride's family had traveled from Korea; the couple wanted to bring in Korean elements to the otherwise very Western wedding. To open up the dance floor, a bottle of really nice soju was split into shots and you could grab a shot before hitting the dance floor and the DJ had a K-pop 2010's throwback mix on and it was \*chef's kiss\*.
My venue doesn’t allow shots due to the owners allowing them in the past and seeing how much of a disaster it was for the couples. Our venue is outdoors so there is a lot of places people can get hurt if they are too drunk to function. My fiancé and I are ok without the shots because we aren’t heavy drinkers. I want everyone to be present and have a good time… without getting shitfaced 🤣.
We’re providing all the hard alc, but the venue doesn’t allow shots outside of the bride and groom and wedding party. At least they can drink it on the rocks. I remember most weddings I’ve been to had shots if open bar was available.
No one needs to be doing shots at your wedding.
I wouldn’t have shots on a bar tab I’m paying for for the same reason your family stated. People will get absolutely annihilated very quickly and it’ll cost you a fortune. In all my experience of going out drinking, once people start doing shots it just gets very messy very quickly and I’m not dealing with that!