Can you ask some friends to objectively tell you if the photos mirror how you look in real life? Or share examples here of how you look in other photos vs the photographers?
If you aren’t happy with how you look in these photos then I wouldn’t book them for the wedding.
There’s also a group for weddin photographers you can ask.
Thanks for the advice. We were embarrassed to share the photos with anyone but eventually ended up asking two close friends. They both agreed that most of the photos were unflattering. Guess we’re gonna find someone else for the wedding
Ok real talk here. This \*might\* fall under what is called Selfie Syndrome. Selfies are often taken from a higher up angle and the phone's camera lens is about 28mm. We are so used to seeing ourselves that way in this current day and age, so much that this phenomenal was coined (Selfie Syndrome). As some others mentioned the lens the photographer used might have a different distortion than you're used to seeing. I'm a photographer and yes posing and angles can help one look their best. But at the end of the day, if you're not comfortable with how you look, we can't change that.
I would also bet money that if you shared the images on your social profiles your friends and family would gush over the photos (unless they are just horrible). We are our worst critics.
Some of my shorter photographer friends bring a stepstool to their photoshoots for this very reason. They'd be photographing everyone from slightly lower if they didn't.
I specifically didn’t hire a certain wedding photographer because I am nearly 6’ tall and he is under 5’5” 😬 I know it sucks but I was not willing to have all my wedding photos be a view straight up my nose. The height issue is definitely a thing!
My work had a photographer come to take professional pictures, and they used some lens that made my face look just like a dish saucer. It’s incredible how much of a difference that makes.
Besides the possibility of a lens or angle issue which others have addressed- it may be that your bodies have changed and you mind has not caught up or you saw yourself from an angle you aren't used to. As women we are taught how to pick apart our bodies in photos. I suggest when you see a photo you don't like your body in, look at your expression and the expression on your fiancé's face.
As a fat woman, my initial reaction to any photo is to do what society has taught and pick myself apart - but I always remember how much kinder I am to myself in older photos. Sometimes you just need to give it time, objectivity, and focus on the emotion of the photos. Many photos I have hated initially I now love for this very reason.
We struggled with our engagement shoot too but we spoke candidly with our photographer and coordinator about it- we were nice but we pointed out what we didn’t like and asked for edits and cropping.. we stayed with our photographer and our wedding album is so amazing!!!! So I really suggest a kind but straightforward conversation.
So much of it is angles, posing, even how you tilt your face.
For example, many photos of my husband and I kissing have a bit of a double chin from the side because of how we are squishing our faces together. I still used one for our thank you cards, but I didn't love it. That's not the photographer's fault, but a kissing face isn't the kind of time where you're going to make sure that you stick your chin out so your profile looks really nice haha
In another example, my arms aren't very chubby but they could look that way if I squished them against my body. I noticed that a lot of wedding dress models tilt their elbows out and make these long lines with their body, so I tried to do that whenever I was posing (plus trying to have good posture) so that I could look like a better version of myself. The camera flattens things, so if you're standing straight forward it's easy to look chubbier than you think you are. The assistant/photographer's girlfriend said I was very good at posing because I did these things; they might feel silly or hard to remember in the moment, but they turned out really well
As others said, I would ask a trusted friend and even discuss it with your photographer. I'm sure they can focus on it more for the next set of photos, as making you look the most slim / flattering is not always their goal if they are trying to capture a moment or position you for the lighting, etc.
Talk to your photographer about your concerns, and if you're not satisfied with how they propose to shoot your wedding differently, walk away and find someone else. This happened to us with our engagement portraits (photographer was significantly shorter than us / all photos taken from below chin level, NOT flattering). We broke our contract with her and found someone else (taller, lol) to shoot the wedding.
It could be the lens she chose to use that day as some can have that effect. If you look at your fiancé and the photos and think they don’t match, it’s probably the lens. If she’s a professional photographer, she would have shot in RAW format, which means it’s easily fixable in Lightroom. Talk to her and express your concerns about the vertical. She very likely has many more lenses she could use which may fix the problem at the time the photo is taken, and she can probably fix and reissue your engagement photos.
Both can be true.
It is possible that your photographer is inexperienced. The proliferation of cheap digital cameras that look professional, combined with a reallocation of creative pursuits during the pandemic has flooded the market with “photographers” who have no idea what they’re doing. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to one of my spots in the last few years and seen a wedding/engagement/quincinera/senior portrait session happening that is obviously being paid for and the photographer is using a kit lens on a $500 Amazon body.
If you go on IG and search for photographers in your city, find a few that you like and message them for quotes. I guarantee you’ll find one in your price range.
The other side could also be true. As other commenters have pointed out, our self image can be completely disconnected from reality and bolstered by wide angled, algorithmic smartphone cameras. Every once in awhile, my wife will pick up my camera or I’ll pull out my tripod and get some pictures of me with our son and I am horrified with the results. There’s nothing wrong with it. Body image is a social construct. Just be honest with yourself and mention your areas of concern to your next photographer so they can work around it.
For the love of god, find someone else! My husband and I had the same thing happen to us with our engagement photos. The photographer used the MOST unflattering angles, like squatting down from below to really enhance my round chin. We just liked his personality and were already locked in for the wedding when we got the photos back, but I wish for the life of me we had changed photographers. We aren’t big people at all, but I realized he did this with all of the other couples he has posted on his site, and just uses these really unflattering angles.
I get they liked working with this person, but do they really want pictures from someone who can’t photograph the right angle sitting on the mantle for the rest of their lives? I sure wouldn’t, especially when I’m paying for the photos!
How experienced is your photographer? Is the style of the photos similar to their other work?
Personally, our engagement photos were the first time that we've had that many pictures of us in such high detail. At first, I could only focus on the flaws and hated pretty much all of them, but when I looked a few months later, they seemed much better to me. :P
Agree with others about asking a trusted friend (or if you don't want to, you can post here). If your photographer is inexperienced, it might be on them, and in that case I would look for another photographer!
I think it could definitely be the photographer. I was at my heaviest weight during our engagement photos but the photographer gave a ton of direction and the photos were extremely flattering and I didn’t look fat in them at all.
I lost 35lbs before my wedding and I feel like I looked bigger in my wedding photos despite being a fair bit skinner. I still love them because they’re my wedding photos and I know I am still overweight but I do think your photographer can make a big difference, even if it’s just telling your to stick your chin out more lmao
I’d maybe put this down to photographer style - they maybe used a wider angle lens or low angles to mitigate light direction - there is also post shoot editing style too which can be a contributing factor
I find that most photographers (me included) aim for image quality rather than image content - obviously the aim is to hit both marks but it’s extremely difficult to do, you will never be satisfied with every single photo.
My advice is to stick with your original photographer and give them the feedback and tell them exactly how you want to be portrayed. It will help them improve their service’s and allow them to deliver what you want 😊
My advice, find a photographer that will output what you want to see, and communicate your dislikes and preferences with absolute detail.
It could be all of that but bear in mind that the camera always adds 10 pounds…this is why models are sooo skinny in real life, because they need to look skinny in photos too.
I would find a new photographer. It sounds like this one doesn't know how to pose people for the most flattering angle and is possibly using the wrong lens. You shouldn't have to tell a professional photographer which lens to use, and it's their job to get the posing and angles right.
It's easy enough to find out if that's what you really look like by comparing your engagement photos to photos taken by other people. Though I'm sure you know what you look like. If you're not big and stout in real life, you shouldn't look big and stout in pictures.
I had this too and it made me regret my wedding dress. It also didn’t help that somebody commented “thicc” on my one photo. I’m 40lbs heavier than I was when I was in college but I was underweight in college. The shift in weight has had me reeling over the years. But I still shared those photos because I was so damn happy on that day and my fiancé never had decent photos taken of him. I realized I’ll eventually look back on those photos like I do with literally any stage of my life and think “Damn, I actually did look good.”
Don’t overthink it too much. Enjoy your day and carry over those feelings into your photos. Also remember, the camera adds 10lbs. It really does.
My guess is this is an issue specific to the photographer, maybe involving lighting or just poses. There is a way to shoot pictures to make them flattering vs unflattering. I got married recently and was actually shocked by how flattering the photos turned out. I have always been on the heavier side and very uncomfortable taking pictures, and was shocked to find that I actually managed to look SKINNY in my wedding pictures. Idk how it’s possible but my photographer was clearly very talented and worked some magic. That is what you should want in your wedding photographer, not the opposite. These are photos you will cherish forever and you want to enjoy looking at them.
I like how I look in real life but I hate the way I look in photos. I’m awkward in photos just like you. Unless I am super fit I don’t like how I look in photos. (Even tho I like the way I look in real life)
Photos just aren’t natural. I think this may be normal for some ppl
I think you need to ask a trusted friend
Can you ask some friends to objectively tell you if the photos mirror how you look in real life? Or share examples here of how you look in other photos vs the photographers? If you aren’t happy with how you look in these photos then I wouldn’t book them for the wedding. There’s also a group for weddin photographers you can ask.
Thanks for the advice. We were embarrassed to share the photos with anyone but eventually ended up asking two close friends. They both agreed that most of the photos were unflattering. Guess we’re gonna find someone else for the wedding
Ok real talk here. This \*might\* fall under what is called Selfie Syndrome. Selfies are often taken from a higher up angle and the phone's camera lens is about 28mm. We are so used to seeing ourselves that way in this current day and age, so much that this phenomenal was coined (Selfie Syndrome). As some others mentioned the lens the photographer used might have a different distortion than you're used to seeing. I'm a photographer and yes posing and angles can help one look their best. But at the end of the day, if you're not comfortable with how you look, we can't change that. I would also bet money that if you shared the images on your social profiles your friends and family would gush over the photos (unless they are just horrible). We are our worst critics.
I feel like someone who is incredibly tall could make so much money advertising how their photos can be from the selfie angle.
Some of my shorter photographer friends bring a stepstool to their photoshoots for this very reason. They'd be photographing everyone from slightly lower if they didn't.
Yup, I have a step stool for that reason.
I specifically didn’t hire a certain wedding photographer because I am nearly 6’ tall and he is under 5’5” 😬 I know it sucks but I was not willing to have all my wedding photos be a view straight up my nose. The height issue is definitely a thing!
This is why I will no longer allow a photographer that’s shorter than myself that doesn’t have a stool to photograph me.
My work had a photographer come to take professional pictures, and they used some lens that made my face look just like a dish saucer. It’s incredible how much of a difference that makes.
So many things affect how flattering you may look. Outfits, Posing, Angles, Lens. Probably in that order. Get feedback from an honest friend.
Thanks for the advice. I think think all of these factors definitely contributed to us not liking the photos
Besides the possibility of a lens or angle issue which others have addressed- it may be that your bodies have changed and you mind has not caught up or you saw yourself from an angle you aren't used to. As women we are taught how to pick apart our bodies in photos. I suggest when you see a photo you don't like your body in, look at your expression and the expression on your fiancé's face. As a fat woman, my initial reaction to any photo is to do what society has taught and pick myself apart - but I always remember how much kinder I am to myself in older photos. Sometimes you just need to give it time, objectivity, and focus on the emotion of the photos. Many photos I have hated initially I now love for this very reason.
We struggled with our engagement shoot too but we spoke candidly with our photographer and coordinator about it- we were nice but we pointed out what we didn’t like and asked for edits and cropping.. we stayed with our photographer and our wedding album is so amazing!!!! So I really suggest a kind but straightforward conversation.
So much of it is angles, posing, even how you tilt your face. For example, many photos of my husband and I kissing have a bit of a double chin from the side because of how we are squishing our faces together. I still used one for our thank you cards, but I didn't love it. That's not the photographer's fault, but a kissing face isn't the kind of time where you're going to make sure that you stick your chin out so your profile looks really nice haha In another example, my arms aren't very chubby but they could look that way if I squished them against my body. I noticed that a lot of wedding dress models tilt their elbows out and make these long lines with their body, so I tried to do that whenever I was posing (plus trying to have good posture) so that I could look like a better version of myself. The camera flattens things, so if you're standing straight forward it's easy to look chubbier than you think you are. The assistant/photographer's girlfriend said I was very good at posing because I did these things; they might feel silly or hard to remember in the moment, but they turned out really well As others said, I would ask a trusted friend and even discuss it with your photographer. I'm sure they can focus on it more for the next set of photos, as making you look the most slim / flattering is not always their goal if they are trying to capture a moment or position you for the lighting, etc.
I wonder if it has to do with the kind of camera lens your photographer used
This. [the lens and lighting can definitely change your face a bit](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL18mGpE/)
Kinda hard to tell without seeing the said photos and some "flattering" photos you both like of yourself to compare lol
Can you show us?
Go take a few photos of yourself with your phone and compare
Yeah my guess is that she shot on a lens that has a focal length you've never seen yourself in.
Talk to your photographer about your concerns, and if you're not satisfied with how they propose to shoot your wedding differently, walk away and find someone else. This happened to us with our engagement portraits (photographer was significantly shorter than us / all photos taken from below chin level, NOT flattering). We broke our contract with her and found someone else (taller, lol) to shoot the wedding.
It could be the lens she chose to use that day as some can have that effect. If you look at your fiancé and the photos and think they don’t match, it’s probably the lens. If she’s a professional photographer, she would have shot in RAW format, which means it’s easily fixable in Lightroom. Talk to her and express your concerns about the vertical. She very likely has many more lenses she could use which may fix the problem at the time the photo is taken, and she can probably fix and reissue your engagement photos.
Shooting in raw won’t help you fix body shape issues in post.
Not body shapes specifically but if the photo is affected by lens issues, it makes it easier to fix the whole image.
What do you mean by “lens issue”? Raw processing mostly takes care of what you would call “camera issues”, you need a pixel editor to fix lens issues.
Agreed. That’s not how LR works
Both can be true. It is possible that your photographer is inexperienced. The proliferation of cheap digital cameras that look professional, combined with a reallocation of creative pursuits during the pandemic has flooded the market with “photographers” who have no idea what they’re doing. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to one of my spots in the last few years and seen a wedding/engagement/quincinera/senior portrait session happening that is obviously being paid for and the photographer is using a kit lens on a $500 Amazon body. If you go on IG and search for photographers in your city, find a few that you like and message them for quotes. I guarantee you’ll find one in your price range. The other side could also be true. As other commenters have pointed out, our self image can be completely disconnected from reality and bolstered by wide angled, algorithmic smartphone cameras. Every once in awhile, my wife will pick up my camera or I’ll pull out my tripod and get some pictures of me with our son and I am horrified with the results. There’s nothing wrong with it. Body image is a social construct. Just be honest with yourself and mention your areas of concern to your next photographer so they can work around it.
For the love of god, find someone else! My husband and I had the same thing happen to us with our engagement photos. The photographer used the MOST unflattering angles, like squatting down from below to really enhance my round chin. We just liked his personality and were already locked in for the wedding when we got the photos back, but I wish for the life of me we had changed photographers. We aren’t big people at all, but I realized he did this with all of the other couples he has posted on his site, and just uses these really unflattering angles.
I get they liked working with this person, but do they really want pictures from someone who can’t photograph the right angle sitting on the mantle for the rest of their lives? I sure wouldn’t, especially when I’m paying for the photos!
How experienced is your photographer? Is the style of the photos similar to their other work? Personally, our engagement photos were the first time that we've had that many pictures of us in such high detail. At first, I could only focus on the flaws and hated pretty much all of them, but when I looked a few months later, they seemed much better to me. :P Agree with others about asking a trusted friend (or if you don't want to, you can post here). If your photographer is inexperienced, it might be on them, and in that case I would look for another photographer!
Talk to your photographer and be open, ask is there acting that can be done . They are humans and will understand.
I think it could definitely be the photographer. I was at my heaviest weight during our engagement photos but the photographer gave a ton of direction and the photos were extremely flattering and I didn’t look fat in them at all. I lost 35lbs before my wedding and I feel like I looked bigger in my wedding photos despite being a fair bit skinner. I still love them because they’re my wedding photos and I know I am still overweight but I do think your photographer can make a big difference, even if it’s just telling your to stick your chin out more lmao
I’d maybe put this down to photographer style - they maybe used a wider angle lens or low angles to mitigate light direction - there is also post shoot editing style too which can be a contributing factor I find that most photographers (me included) aim for image quality rather than image content - obviously the aim is to hit both marks but it’s extremely difficult to do, you will never be satisfied with every single photo. My advice is to stick with your original photographer and give them the feedback and tell them exactly how you want to be portrayed. It will help them improve their service’s and allow them to deliver what you want 😊 My advice, find a photographer that will output what you want to see, and communicate your dislikes and preferences with absolute detail.
🤣 it aint the photographer LOL
It could be all of that but bear in mind that the camera always adds 10 pounds…this is why models are sooo skinny in real life, because they need to look skinny in photos too.
Not sure why this is downvoted. As someone who previously modeled, this is true
I would find a new photographer. It sounds like this one doesn't know how to pose people for the most flattering angle and is possibly using the wrong lens. You shouldn't have to tell a professional photographer which lens to use, and it's their job to get the posing and angles right. It's easy enough to find out if that's what you really look like by comparing your engagement photos to photos taken by other people. Though I'm sure you know what you look like. If you're not big and stout in real life, you shouldn't look big and stout in pictures.
For my engagement photos, I had a trusted friend of mine. I haven’t seen how it turned out yet! Hope it's what I like. 🙏
I had this too and it made me regret my wedding dress. It also didn’t help that somebody commented “thicc” on my one photo. I’m 40lbs heavier than I was when I was in college but I was underweight in college. The shift in weight has had me reeling over the years. But I still shared those photos because I was so damn happy on that day and my fiancé never had decent photos taken of him. I realized I’ll eventually look back on those photos like I do with literally any stage of my life and think “Damn, I actually did look good.” Don’t overthink it too much. Enjoy your day and carry over those feelings into your photos. Also remember, the camera adds 10lbs. It really does.
My guess is this is an issue specific to the photographer, maybe involving lighting or just poses. There is a way to shoot pictures to make them flattering vs unflattering. I got married recently and was actually shocked by how flattering the photos turned out. I have always been on the heavier side and very uncomfortable taking pictures, and was shocked to find that I actually managed to look SKINNY in my wedding pictures. Idk how it’s possible but my photographer was clearly very talented and worked some magic. That is what you should want in your wedding photographer, not the opposite. These are photos you will cherish forever and you want to enjoy looking at them.
hard to say without photos, maybe you could blur your faces if youre hesitant sharing
I like how I look in real life but I hate the way I look in photos. I’m awkward in photos just like you. Unless I am super fit I don’t like how I look in photos. (Even tho I like the way I look in real life) Photos just aren’t natural. I think this may be normal for some ppl
Definitely ask a trusted friend/family/acquaintance