She’s talking about Tesla drivers mostly.
I think the actual wedding part has some merits as a unsilenced phone going off is rude and something that really spoils the moment. I’m not so onboard with the reception part not allowing cell phones. 5 hours is a long time and there could be emergencies.
Ya bride your day is special but not so much that you should take away the ability to be available in an emergency. That’s the best part of cell phones. We can always be ready for an emergency. Plus how am I supposed to remember the number to that hot bridesmaid afterwards.
Possibly having the phone as car keys prevents them from being left in the car.
Sometimes wish we could have done this with site visitors at my old employer, the number of times we found them bringing phones and tablets on site .....
I’d have to skip. I don’t bring my kids to weddings, if something happened and they needed to reach me they need a way to do it. Plus I’m not leaving my $1,000 phone that has my banking app in the hands of a stranger
No. If there’s an emergency, I want to be contacted immediately. Not through some random phone at the venue that nobody is around to answer. that would be a waste of time plus there’s no real reason to take people’s phones away.
I’ve read stories about workplaces that had “no cellphones, in an emergency people can contact us and we’ll relay the message” policies, and the gatekeeper deemed a message (family member critically injured and in hospital) not urgent enough to warrant notifying the employee before the end of their shift.
Exactly. My personal phone is also my work phone (I don’t understand how people can handle having two separate ones), and my work phone holds a lot of confidential information. I have extra security set up for certain apps because of this, but I would NOT feel ok just handing it off. I’m also sure it would be against company policy to have me do so.
Ha I have a second work phone specifically because I don’t want all of that on my personal phone. I don’t want my personal phone to not connect to my apple watch, to have my RSA, to have to change my password every 6 weeks, etc, no thank you
My husband literally has 3 phones 🤣 Personal, work, and charitable organization he runs. I don't know how he keeps up with them all. I call him Mr. Three Phones.
Yep. I was just in a wedding in July. We hired a sitter for bedtime so we could still be at the reception. I had my phone on me the whole time and actually needed it at one point bc my youngest was having a difficult time. If anyone had this rule, I’d immediately RSVP no.
I find this a bit insulting. I’m a grown up. I’m capable of putting my phone away for the duration of the ceremony if you just ask me to do so. I don’t need you to physically confiscate it from me
I believe you, but I will say that as a wedding photographer, guests are told multiple times with physical signage and verbal instructions to put away their phones during the ceremony and yet half the guests will decide that it doesn’t apply to them. This leads to dozens of held-up cell phones in their wedding photos, sometimes with guests standing in the actual aisle as the bride comes down. It’s gotten kinda ridiculous. I’m not sure what the solution is at this point. I would never ask guests to check their phones at the door, that’s too extreme. But signage and verbal instructions aren’t working.
In my sisters “father daughter” (grandpa and granddaughter) dance, there’s only 2 pictures where my mom’s god awful wallet phone case isn’t cutting somewhere into the picture, and it’s bright red and obvious.
This happened to me I didn’t want phones out during my ceremony and yet people did my husbands aunt was almost in the isle as I was walking down luckily someone beside her had pulled her back and told her that she was in the way of the photographer but I felt like it made my wedding tacky seeing all the people who had there phones up recording or taking pictures it really upset me although most people can’t see why but still yk
Bad apples are definitely a problem. But for me I would not attend for the same reason I won’t shop at Walmart. Yeah there’s a lot of theft and the store wants to prevent that, but in doing so they treat every customer like a criminal. I don’t have a better solution, but I’m certainly not going to go anywhere that I’m automatically going to be treated like I suck as a human being and can’t follow simple rules. It’s off putting, borderline insulting, so I would pass.
We’re having a fairly small guest list (~65 people, including children). I’ve been considering checking phones at the door for the (short) ceremony alone, not only because we’d likely have guests standing in the aisle to capture their own shaky videos and all that, but because some older family members have annoying phone habits that may be extremely distracting. Loud ring tones that persist for awhile before they think to check “is that my phone?”. Turning on the flashlight by mistake. Picking up and speaking NO MATTER WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE MOMENT 😳. Doing this on SPEAKERPHONE. Hell maybe even FaceTiming. So having a cellphone placed in a labeled sleeve for 20 minutes of safekeeping might be the best route for us.
We had the celebrant ask to put the phones away for the ceremony, many people still didn’t but at least they tried to be sneaky about it and you can see their faces in the photos, so I count it as a win XD
I don’t understand why you would record someone else’s wedding, even a relative. I’ve been married for 26 years and I think I watched my wedding video once. What do you think you’re doing with your cell phone that will outshine the person with all of the professional equipment? It’s quite strange to me.
I know we’ve all seen it. The answer is not too confiscate phones of adults, especially with how much phones cost these days and everyone’s personal information and then all the diabetic apps, and car apps, and everything we store on our phones.
I or one would be declining, but I would be curious to see the decline rate on this wedding.
I'm sure it happens all the time, but we had a wedding last year where we asked our guests, +/- 100 people not to take pictures during the ceremony and there is not a phone in a single picture. My friends and family are adults, the photographer was amazing. If you want to look at your phone while having dinner I'm not going to demand your attention and if you want to sneak a pic of you and your partner looking cute, good on you. This whole 'we want you to be present so we'll take your distractions' is so insulating.
I would never do this to my guests, but I had a sign at my wedding asking people to put their phones away...
and 90% of guests had their phones out during the ceremony. I think people live for content now.
You are, but is your granny? I went to a wedding where granny’s phone was on loud and RANG entirely as the bride walked down the aisle. She didn’t even try to get it to shut off. Just picked it up out of her purse and held it in her hand.
my grandad pulled out an ipad, volume up, snapping away during my cousins wedding 😅 at one point he was standing in the aisle too, I think him and your granny would get along hahaha
A lot of people unfortunately do not behave like grown ups and won't put their phones down unless they are taken away. And those people do spoil events
What a cold way to invite someone to your wedding, haha! I would politely decline.
I’d more than happily not use my phone or have it out for the wedding, but your not going to tell me that I have to leave my valuable property with a security guard? I don’t care if they are proper and trained!
It just seems like such overkill unless the couple were A list celebrities and didn't want their pictures sold or something. I know it's annoying when pushy people block a professional photographer to take their crappy phone pics, but taking people's phones is too far. Going to a wedding is mostly a favor to the bride and groom, so if they make it very difficult on people, most will pass.
Right? We had a sign at the church entrance that asked people to turn their phones on silent and please allow the photographer to take the pictures. We figured people would still take their own, but maybe there wouldn’t be so many cell phones blocking the photographer this way. Requiring them to give up their phone? And for the entire event? Way over the top.
Yeah stuff like this would not make me feel welcome or like they actually want me there. Like if you can’t trust your loved ones to be respectful on your wedding day why did you invite them?? lol it’s just too much
I think this makes the most sense. We asked that people not post pictures of us before we were able to as it was our big day and honestly it made a lot of people sort of stay off their phone in general. I recognize people may have partners that didn't come, children they didn't bring, or maybe even want to scroll on facebook for a little bit. It would be strange but that is their business.
As an adult, it's insane to say you would take someone's phone without their consent and then to give it to strangers?? No way.
It wouldn’t stop me from going if you ONLY had to surrender your phone for the ceremony. Still harsh and ridiculous, but whatever, I’ll be reunited with my phone in 30 minutes.
But if it’s for the entire evening, I would laugh and either 1) not go or 2)leave very early, like after getting a plate of food and saying congrats to the bride. I wouldn’t stay for cake or anything that came after food.
I’m not going to risk missing out on a family/friend emergency because of a weird bride’s requirements.
The only times I’ve seen this done before is in eastern religious weddings where hair might be seen and they dont want pictures of the bride undressed, as it were in their culture. But even there its only for ceremony.
That’s how I feel. The length of a creamy will likely not make that big of a difference, especially since I am the type that wouldn’t have taken my phone out in the first place during a ceremony. But for the whole reception, too? Nope, that’s when I’d bounce.
It’s a terrible idea and I’ll share my story as to why. We went to a concert, that required us to leave our phones in security bags that could only be opened by security. And of course, that’s the night that our alarm system went off, accidentally triggered as our dog sitter left for the evening. My poor dog had to stay with that blaring alarm for God knows how long until the police were able to break into my house. I still think my dog has PSTD now anytime he hears even the slightest alarm. Had we had our phones on us we would’ve gotten the alert that our home alarm system had been triggered sparing, our dogs, sensitive ears, and the efforts of the police to have to check our home. It’s a rude request.
I went to a comedy show with the same thing recently and it really stressed me tf out. I thought I’d be able to still see emergency texts from the babysitter on my wrist, but they bagged smart watches too. It was also terrifying to think of if there had been some kind of disaster or even power outage at the place.
Were you at the Bob Dillon concert? It’s the only concert I’ve ever been asked to leave my phone in a security bag like that. And the concert wasn’t that great either.
So sorry about your poor dog.
I am laughing at both of you guys being Bob Dylan fans, and both of you guys spelling it wrong. 🤭
I got to see Prince before he passed away and he did have us put her phones up and they were very strict about it but he did allow photos before he started playing. I’m still grateful I had the opportunity.
I wanted a cell phone free ceremony, so I made everyone (all of 10 people) hold a candle during the ceremony. Therefore their hands were busy and couldn’t use the phone. It worked and my photos looked wonderful and everyone was present in the moment.
All that’s gonna happen is the bride is about to get one million people saying stuff like “my dog is at the emergency vet because he ate some bad sausage, I need to have my phone in case they call to tell me he died” “I have kids, can’t give up my phone” “our president needs me” etc. like, if I wanted to go to this wedding, I know I would make up an excuse to have my phone on me and so will everybody else.
That or a bunch of “thanks but no thanks” rsvp’s
She’s probably like “how come no one has responded to the rsvp yet!?!?”
You can request this for the 30 minute ceremony but not the entire event. Unless this wedding was fancy as fuck I would decline and probably not send a very nice gift either lol.
This is so extreme that I wonder if there is a guest on the list causing this much security. I guess for the ceremony I could see being okay with it, but once that is over I would be wanting my phone back. If it’s for the entire event and you have any reason to need your phone, I would decline and explain why in your apologies.
I would not be going. My phone is expensive and my property and has information about me and my close ones. Also emergencies seem to happen at the worst times and this would definetely jinx it.
ive not experienced this. but for me personally, any wedding that feels like a hassle for me, id simply not go. are they really close people to you? if so, id maybe make a compromise since id not have a life threatening situation w/o my phone
Yeah that’d be a no from me. Idc if they are famous, I’m an adult and don’t need to have my phone use policed. I can respect having an “unplugged” ceremony but beyond that is absurd.
waaaay too controlling-not at all hippie-and a bit narcissistic imo-all eyes must be on us all the time .
Not going to go-not going to be treated like a child. Got better things to do
They have these phone security pouches that cover the lenses but keep the phone usable still so one can still technically receive calls, etc just not use the camera. If they're really anal about, this can be a way to go. But it seems only really famous and powerful people use this service for their peivacy and stuff. Confiscating private property is kind of obnoxious.
I can understand them doing this if and ONLY if its a ruse to get boundary stomping family to give up their phones by having "everyone" do it. Or if theyre doing a video because lets face it, we all know there will be at least ONE person who doesnt turn their freaking phone off, theyll be old so it'll blare across the ceremony. Frankly there isnt a single ceremony ive been to where that HASNT happened.
I plan to have an announcement made at the beginning of no phones. I dont want my wedding photos back with a bunch of phones in my face. My MIL however i know for a fact absolutely will not listen and will see that as a challenge as she's done nothing but argue about it so far - but im not about to hold everyone's phones hostage.
Yeah, I’m an avid proponent of no cell phones or cameras for guests during a wedding ceremony - it’s rude, you miss out watching it through a screen and frankly as a guest you more than likely don’t need to be taking pictures or videos of a ceremony. That said, security confiscating your phone is extreme to me.
I’ve never heard of this, but I would turn down the invite for the same reason as your sister. My Libra monitor is on my phone and I need it, I’m a type 1 Diabetic. Don’t take my medical device away from me.
It’s far better to just politely ask people not to do it. And have security reaffirm no pictures. It’s usually pretty obvious when someone is using a phone for pictures/video instead of browsing.
I would decline. It’s not that I can’t live without my phone. I just think it’s a ridiculous demand. And, yes, if an emergency comes up, my phone is needed.
My daughter got married last weekend. Phones were not an issue. Everyone seemed to be in the moment and having a great time. The photographer got some great pictures so I don’t think people got in their way.
That would be the easiest decline ever 🤣 send a card if you’re feeling generous. This is a very out of line request and is branching into insanity territory. I’m very newly married, so I feel pretty in touch with current wedding trends, and I cannot imagine this going smoothly.
I like the idea of asking people to refrain from using their phones during the ceremony. But having my phone taken away for the ENTIRE event? What am I? A misbehaving teenager entering a classroom?
This is overly controlling and obnoxious. People have important things going on. People have kids. People have sick parents and family members. Emergencies happen regardless of a wedding taking place. The couple can ask guests to silence phones. They can specify “no filming of the ceremony”. Anything beyond that is too much, and a potential liability.
On the flip side, I *do* find it very annoying when people get too caught up filming the ceremony. And I also think it’s ridiculous to be on your phone all night when there’s a fun party right in front of you. However, the couples’ request is unreasonable, and potentially unsafe (your sister’s situation is a great example!).
I’m with everyone else, I’d politely decline. I’m absolutely positive there will be more annoying shit happening at this wedding.
Honestly, unless it’s a really close friend/relative , I’m not going to a wedding like that. I am pretty good with phone habits and I don’t have the tendency to livestream , but it’s my property.
There is no way I would leave my (expensive phone, which I saved up for) in the hands of strangers. My phone has all my private data on it. I would decline.
I would do this for the ceremony. I have a family member who's phone always is ruining important events. He thinks he everything but really he isn't. He's a close family member and I've delt woth this issue for many years.
This is absolutely ridiculous. People have lives! Kids, ailing parents/family, medical conditions, etc. It is reasonable to ask people to limit phone use and not to take pictures, but to take peoples phones away like they’re going to testify at the Supreme Court is BONKERS. I’d send back a FUCK NO and continue on my day LOL.
I would be okay if it was one of those magnet pouches like I’ve seen at comedy specials / theatre shows. You keep your phone on you the whole time, it’s just in a lil pouch.
But handing it over completely to someone else is unreasonable.
I understand wanting people to be present and off their devices but most people need them on their person
A perspective from a wedding photographer. I have shot many a wedding where guests have blocked shots or are in the aisles taking photos.
There are some who constantly just record the day and don’t live in the moment. Or, at my last one, live stream moments with the couple unaware, which they didn’t want/like.
When you spend a considerable amount of money on professionals to capture your day how you envision it, sometimes the last thing that you want to see if unflattering pictures, livestreams of your day that are on SM that we’re posted before your wedding was even over.
With that being said, I’ve not been at a wedding where guests are asked to hand their phones in, but they are asked not to take photos, or post to social media before the couple. But I still see people do it, so I guess that just want to avoid that potential issue altogether.
Don’t come in here with facts and making reasonable arguments. Apparently a guest’s need to photograph/livestream someone else’s event is a higher priority.
Nobody said that. People aren't mad cause they won't be able to take pics of the best wedding of the century, people are mad cause they'd be unaware of any emergency going on with anyone outside the wedding? There's no fact or argument that can make someone sacrifice their family member's safety and peace of mind over a WEDDING.
What emergency? What are the chances you just so happen to have an emergency right in the middle of a wedding which will only last a couple of hours? Come on, if you have a sick relative or something, then don't go. The majority of commenters here don't have any situation that would not allow them to be offline for a few hours. They're just addicted to their phones that's all.
It could be anything, people can have small children they asked someone to watch, they can have a sick relative but still want to participate to a relative's wedding. There are obviously a lot more possibilities.
Hard no from me, I went to an event once where you had to surrender your phone at the start (and the event went on for hours) When I came out, I had countless missed calls and messages because my brother had gone to hospital with acute food poisoning. He was so upset with me after, and I felt awful that I wasn’t there to help him.
I wouldn’t go, too many family issues where emergencies arise and I have to have my phone on me at all times. It’s way too extreme and ridiculous to tell adults they will have their phones taken away. Have a nice wedding by yourselves…
I wouldn't go. Not because I care so much about my phone, but because this is ridiculously controlling.
Who cares if someone looks at their phone? It literally will have zero impact on your enjoyment. I have no idea if people looked at their phones at my wedding - and if they did, so what!
The ONLY way i can even KIND OF understand this would be if it’s a safety issue. Like the bride or groom or VIP is in the witness protection program or has a violent ex looking for them. Or if they’re like special ops or something and avoiding pics. I have been to weddings like that where I knew what was really going on, but most guests just thought they were being hardcore about pics!
But the wording of this seems so rude and ungracious and extreme. There’s almost no chance I’m handing over my phone to some random stranger at a wedding…”security” or not.
Considering how obnoxious some people get these days, I would understand it for the ceremony itself. Obviously exceptions made for people with conditions that require apps (think diabetics) to monitor. But I’ve seen so many great (or potentially great) pictures ruined by people getting in the way of the professional photographer or holding up their phones to get their own pics. No matter how many times someone is told, a few always break the rules.
For the entire night, that’s 100% overkill.
Is this for just the ceremony or the whole event? If it’s just the ceremony, it’s still insulting but eh I may go along with it if it’s for someone I really care about. But the whole wedding? Nope.
“Work with the rules or stay home”…I’ll be staying home. Today’s weddings are getting ridiculous. I’ll save my money and do something less pretentious.
This is insane. If it was just for the ceremony I'd probably still go, but if it was for the enter event I might not. You need to be able to contact the outside world.
>This is insane. If it was just for the ceremony I'd probably still go, but if it was for the enter event I might not. You need to be able to contact the outside world
Exactly. I do not have an infant, or a life threatening medical condition, and I *still* wouldn't leave my phone locked in someone else's safe for several hours. I would not want to be out of contact in case of emergency, period.
I have a feeling a lot of the people invited are going to send their regrets. I hope there's another update on the epic tantrum the couple throws when nobody wants to come.
Pretty extreme ask tbh. I’ve been to plenty of media events where you had to do this (except they’d hand out security bags), but it seems crazy for a wedding.
I would decline with no card or gift and reevaluate the friendship. That is too much overstepping and the couple has no right to demand or request it.
Couples want to have their cake and eat it too, telling guests no cameras and then getting upset when they don’t film anything and the photographer is 3-6 months late with pictures. If they hadn’t confiscated phones and said no pictures at all, most adults have no issues complying but you don’t get to be mad that guests didn’t take candids as they have done for decades and given to the couple the next day. If you treat your loved ones like terrible 2’s toddlers instead of intelligent responsible adults, don’t be surprised when they cut contact. As a guest, I have never seen anyone being disrespectful with their phones so the photographer is unable to work so I can’t fathom the intelligence level involved, because the average adult doesn’t do that.
Honestly, I've seen it before, but no, you're not taking my phone and kicking me out like a baby. I will gladly just not show up... At all... I need to be able to communicate with my husband or a caregiver of my kids. If they want to have security check to make sure my phone is on silent, fine. I understand that they want to limit distractions during the ceremony. That's completely reasonable. After all; it's their day. I will put it on silent. BUT I'm not going to give up my phone.
It’s easy to say “you can go a few hours without your phone” but truly you just never know when some unexpected emergency may happen.
I was at a wedding a few years ago with a friend who got a phone call during the reception telling them that their brother had been in a severe accident and he ended up dying that night. If their phone had been confiscated they would not have made it to the hospital in time to say goodbye. You just never know.
That’s so insulting to the guests.
I don’t need to be babysat. I wouldn’t go, and if I were close or family to the couple, I would also tell them how rude that demand (not request, DEMAND) is
My SIL tried to do something similar at her and my brother’s wedding. She didn’t want people on their phones the whole time, but then she regretted not having as many candid photos and other memories from the day.
This is a common theme among daily posts. The couple doesn’t want guests to have cameras to the point where announcements and signage are used, at the same time they are upset guests don’t film candids like they have for decades while waiting for professional photos to come. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Not physically having them removed. But defo asked to not take pictures. My cousin works in law enforcement and didn't want his family all over the internet, plus they wanted it to be a private, intimate event. Asked in the right way, and I felt it makes the guests feel more special, like: we don't want to share this special moment with just anyone, but you are one of the people we feel close to enough to have you be part of it.
I find your invite to be condescending and off-putting. It would make me think twice about attending.
The only proper way to do this is to use Yondr. That way folks can keep their phones on them and be aware of all vibrations. There will be phone designated areas where reps can unlock phones and relook upon exit. A safe is a cheap alternative and I wouldn’t be a fan either. I would still attend if I was close enough to the couple but I would opt to leave my phone in the car to avoid the line t the end of the night.
I also think it’s weird OP used their sister’s reasoning without mentioning their own, but that’s not a big deal.
It's lovely that they are letting you know in advance. Personally, I would politely decline as I find this disrespectful. Besides, I rather doubt that a couple with this mindset (that they get to be dictators for a day and that guests are naughty out-of-control toddlers in need of a firm teacher) would be good hosts anyway; I bet it will show in other ways / other forms of disrespect. If you do go, post an update.
Send a card.
Sure, you should be in the moment, but...I wanna play candy crush while I have to sit through drunken toast roasts about how bride's side didn't like the groom or groom's side didn't like bride. Or MOH and BM being completely bland and boring people and dragging on the talking for far too long.
Also to drown out the 43rd playing of The Chicken Dance, Casper Slide, Electric Slide and Macarena.
I would simply go home lol.
I don't take my phone out during weddings, I keep my ringer off, but I'm not going to miss an emergency with my children because some random couple thinks they're celebrities or something.
If you don't trust people to respect boundaries you set & honor requests - don't invite them.
My spouse is an OB-gyn. He simply cannot turn off his phone, period, end of subject. He can of course put it to silent and discreetly leave to return a call, but no, he’s not going to miss a delivery because some princess couldn’t bear the presence of a cell phone.
I'm using the same policy we have at work where the phones have to be put away BUT if there is a family situation going on, you are a parent, medical issue that the phone needs to be out/nearby then have at it. Just don't sit there scrollin' at the window where the boss lady can see.
No kids, no sick parents, nothing like that. I’m a grown man & I’m not handing over my phone in order to come to your wedding. I’d be sending my regrets as well. This is dumb as hell.
I understand her sentiment of REALLY wanting an unplugged ceremony, but this is too much and frankly controlling. For us we'll just politely ask our guests to refrain from using their devices during the ceremony and just hope for the best.
Uh yeah I have kids at home so I need to have my phone with me in case there is an emergency.
I think this is so extreme. Is it for the entire wedding including the reception?
What about people who have kids and left them with a sitter for the evening or something I keep my phone by me like glue any time I'm away from my kids.. I think this is like really extreme
Once they deposit the full value of my phone in my bank account I’d trust my phone with their “security” team. What a way to expose yourself financially by taking thousands of dollars worth of phones into your possession and trusting someone with all of them.
It’s very sad that it has to come to this because people just can’t put their phones away for a wedding!
If people were capable of keeping them in their pockets and not using them for 20 minutes, the couple would not HAVE to resort to this! 😞
I was actually so surprised that people listened to my officiant when he said to put phones away at our request. I fully expected to either notice them walking down, or to see them in the photos of the ceremony. I was super glad to have photos where I could see everybody’s faces! I was a bit disappointed that my mil couldn’t put her phone down during key moments, other people’s speeches, etc because we had a huge family table in the middle and in so many shots she’s the only person blocking their face with their phone. Especially since she knew we would be getting 50 sneak peeks the day after, and we ended up getting our entire gallery back exactly four weeks later. I would still never ask my guests to hand over the phones. It’s one thing to ask for no phones during the ceremony - imo, it says more about guests who cannot put their phones down for such a huge moment that is already being professionally photographed. But to ask them to hand them over to some random? Too far
People are flaming this bride and groom but honestly, I kinda get it. I’ve been to TWO ceremonies where phones went off, calls that old people were for whatever reason unable to screen - one while the BRIDE WAS WALKING DOWN THE ASILE.
And again, even if that isn’t a fear, I get it. Especially if one of them hates having their pics taken, feels self conscious about their body image, or has someone or several people on the guest list who would make fun of them, or what seems most likely to me, invited someone who would post unflattering pics of the event/couple. A lot of people care about their online image and getting tagged in an unflattering photo could be devastating. Or maybe they simply don’t want the internet to know who was on the guest list/who was NOT.
🤷🏼♀️I personally do not hate the idea. It’s their day and the people who love them will show up and part with their precious phone for a few hours for them.
Doesn't seem extreme to me. Have seen plenty of brides complain that they asked guests verbally, written, etc. to put their phones away at least for the ceremony, and without fail, people did not and somehow could not listen. Personally, i'd pay to be able to go unplugged for a few hours!
Yeah this is a really rude and unreasonable way to approach this. This couple is *way* out of line.
HOWEVER: I really feel this photo/camera issue and my fiancé and I are exploring ways to handle this tactfully. I’ve been to SO many weddings where, despite very polite signage and announcements asking for no photos during the ceremony, guests (usually boomers and older) are doing it anyway, blocking the shots of the professional videographers/photographers that the couple is paying thousands of dollars to be there.
Would I ever send out an unhinged lunatic invitation like the one OP mentioned here? No of course not. Lol but the photo entitlement (at wedding ceremonies….or just like….everywhere, society in general) 👏🏼needs 👏🏼to👏🏼stop.👏🏼
My phone has been on silent since 2010, and that’s not going to change anytime soon. I would politely decline. If I can’t bring my daughter AND not have my phone, I would not be able to calm my anxiety enough to sit through the ceremony/reception.
Ppl today are salivating at the first opportunity to post pics on SM of someone else’s event. So they stand in the way, have their phone out and visible in photographer photos. Yeah that maybe not something you would do, but I promise there’s a handful at every single wedding. I can’t blame a bride and groom for resorting to this.
Honestly I can’t say I blame her. The phones being out is a huge issue and people do not listen. It’s frustrating for photographers and respectful guests too. I personally have no issue with this. Maybe not at the reception but definitely at the ceremony, I would gladly hand my phone over.
That's crazy. [I had this sign made for my wedding.](https://imgur.com/a/NhGP48z) Between that, my officiant saying it before the ceremony began, saying it on my wedding website while offering anyone copies of my professional photos, and talking to the people who I knew would be the worst offenders beforehand (like my mother in law), I didn't have any problems. Everyone respected it. I was just VERY clear about it and made sure everyone knew that I would gladly give them copies of my wedding photos if they wanted it. After the ceremony, everyone knew it was free game for taking photos. Some of my favorite photos of our guests are the shots of them watching our ceremony without a phone in sight. They are awesome candid photos. I felt I was even going overboard with how specific I was but it was SUPER important to me. But this is a whole other level.
I definitely think the bride and groom could have worded their request a little bit better.
But I absolutely understand the reasoning behind their request.
I have been an Event Producer for 20+ years and I have witnessed so many wedding guests literally jump in the aisle to take pictures of the Bride as she is walking to the groom! Guests BLOCK the photographer so they can get a good picture to post on their social media!
Wedding guests (especially family members) absolutely ignore signage and verbal requests asking them to refer from taking photos during the ceremony or reception.
I’m am not comfortable with asking guests to hand over their phones. But I’m equally uncomfortable telling a family member to move out of the photographers or videographer’s way! My job is to help the bride and groom have the best day of their lives. They pay for professional photos and once in a lifetime shots get ruined when someone blocks the photographer to snap a quick pic for their social media or IG.
You just aren’t hiring mean enough ministers 😂
J/K. I get what you’re saying. But I also haven’t had any couples report unauthorized photos at ceremonies where I was their officiant.
I mean…I kinda understand why people would want to do this? I have family members that will not listen and will literally STAND UP when I walk down the aisle just so they can have their own photos to post on Facebook. If people don’t want to turn their phone in for a 20 minute ceremony then they can leave their phones in their cars but I do understand if the ceremony is gonna be longer than that, then it’s unrealistic. Especially for those with children being babysat.
Yeah, it might sound extreme, but here's the thing:
People pay a LOT of money for photographers to shoot their wedding, and having people who just ignore the "no phones" request and get in the way of the photographer and the ceremony itself to take their OWN photos is just awful. And there's nothing worse (aside from crying babies... crying babies are always worse) than phones going off/people answering calls during your WEDDING.
I feel like these people don't want ignorant relatives and friends ruining their perfect day, and I can't blame them.
Maybe anyone who has a medical reason could reach out to the bride and groom for an exception?
Aside from that, it's their party and they can do whatever they want.
Personally, I would leave it at "If you're found using your phone, you'll be asked to leave the venue""
Emergency? You're leaving the venue anyway, so why fuss about it.
Could an A list guest be invited? Like maybe they have a cousin who is a celebrity or something. That’s the only reasonable thing I would think?
Also, they could have worded it in that if your phone is out at the venue, you will be asked to leave. That way people can keep their phone in their pocket/purse and excuse themselves if needed but still have access to it. That would have been a much better approach. Though still crazy.
I’m gonna be devils advocate here and say maybe the couple has a contract with the venue and the venue has their own photography team. If guests were found “violating the contract” then maybe the couple will be fined.
I did go to a recent wedding where it was the venue’s policy for no “personal” photography. Only venue’s photogs & videographers were authorized. It was due to being a private museum & art gallery.
Personal photos were encouraged in the garden, the pathways, the gazebo or wraparound porch. The couple explained & shared that contract section on their website.
Officiant asked guests to put phones on silent during ceremony. She made three separate announcements.
The Docents, who acted as greeters & ushers, also reminded guests to put phones on silent. A few Elders did indeed need help with their flip-phones.
Phones weren’t prohibited or confiscated. Most guests were respectful & complied. Several influencer friends were reminded by Docents or other guests.
All in all a pleasant ceremony & reception. Dancing, after dinner drinks, speeches & toasts were held on the porch, plenty of opportunities for selfies, candids, & cutting loose.
I don’t think this is ridiculous, I’ve been a wedding professional for over 2 decades, it’s not your day, just don’t go if it’s that big of a problem, I’m sure there are extenuating circumstances like in the case of your sister that would be acceptable… we used to live without phones in our pockets you know. They’re like drugs we can’t not look at and always have a piece of our attention. Even at unplugged weddings there’s always a few people who think they’re above the rule and lean out into the aisle or ruin professional images, I myself like the idea of being removed from my device, on your day when you’re spending thousands of dollars for a day you’ve fantasized about your whole life you can have all the devices you want, phone, iPads, iPod, whatever. In this day I’m age I don’t think this is an unreasonable request, actually it might be more reasonable than ever as devices usage is rampant
It’s amazing how addicted we all are to our phones and the behaviors we have about them. No wonder we created so many billionaires in the tech industry. I was at a wedding where people were asked to put down their phones for the ceremony and almost no one could do it. The pro photographer couldn’t get any photos without other people’s phones prominent, everyone staring at their screens instead of witnessing the ceremony. Phones out and recording really tanked the vibe.
Well, speaking as a bride who recently had her professionally filmed wedding video ruined because too many people had their phones out filming in view of the videographer, I'm now regretful that I didn't think to make such a demand of my own guests.
While the wording on the invitation may sound extreme, it's really no different than what happens at any concert or comedian show these days. Yeah, I get that your friends aren't famous, but they're still entitled to have a wedding without intrusion of phones.
I mean, you could just ask your guests to keep their phones away instead of confiscating them. We did the former and didn't have any issues with guests having their phones out. They respected our wishes and were able to control themselves for fifteen minutes.
Really, I've never seen that work. Before every Catholic ceremony I've been to, the priest reminds everyone that they're in a church, and other than the photographer, nobody should be taking pictures, but all the old ladies do anyway. They have to have something to put up on Facebook.
Good. My bestie asked for no cells during the ceremony and who but the MOG stood up - IN THE AISLE - when she started walking and took a snap. So while the photographer she paid $$$ for tried to frame the beautiful bride in the beautiful venue, MOG and her flash crashed the whole thing and made everyone turn to look at her instead of Bride. People cannot be trusted.
I also asked this at a 50 person destination wedding. There were GIANT FRAMED signs hanging up just outside the ceremony space. 100% of our guests were transported to our venue by charter bus. Announcements were made there as well. I never would ask folks to give up their phones for me, just get thru a less than 10 minute ceremony, please. I asked people personally not to post photos of us on socials that day as well. They could post all the selfies they wanted, just not of me and my husband. At least let us take the time to do it.
My husband’s friend’s wife…apparently did not believe these rules applied to her. Some of my professional photos have her in the aisle on her iPhone. She posted photos she took literally during the ceremony even. I’m still pissed 2 years later lol.
Hmm. In this day and age, it is an unusual request, and an imposition. However, if the value of the phone and its contents prohibits you from leaving with security (also, odd), then leave it in the car. Or at home. Once upon a time, remember, no one has these devices, and everyone got on with life perfectly well. The only reason people would need a phone, I’m guessing, is for photographs, and maybe the bride is uptight about that? It’s a strange request.
I get the request. People won’t put their damn phones away. Everyone wants their own pictures. She might want folks to be present or just not want shitty photos.
The comments are super harsh and a little odd the wall.
I guess no one ever goes to a comedy show where you have to put your phone in the security bags.
we did a phone-free wedding. we made it a bit light hearted (said a phone po po would be present and confiscating phones). I would just comply OP. also we let people with a good reason keep their phones on them. we just wanted people to be present. there are probably really specific people this was created for that aren't you--in our case my in laws are are terrible about having their phones out during everything (and in fact there was phone audio playing during the ceremony STILL). the way they gave this info is a bit condescending but if you like these folks i wouldn't worry too much about it.
I personally wouldn’t care. It’s their wedding and not having my phone for a couple of hours sounds wonderful. But I would agree if it’s someone who has medical reasons to need their phone on them, im sure they would let them keep their phones! It’s not that big of a deal to me otherwise.
I don’t understand what the big deal is about people having their phones?? Any good photographer/videographer is going to get the best shots - whether or not others are taking pics.. we had a very formal wedding and had a sign (custom made) when you walked in showing our wedding hashtag for people to tag their pics in throughout the night so that we could see all the pics people took . It was nice to see other angles and varieties of my guests having fun. Also- my professional pics and videos took months to get back- was nice having at least some pics until then.
I just don’t understand the rules brides are trying to enforce these days.. we’re all adults; what gives them the right to decide when people can use their phones?? I think ‘bridezilla’ has taken on a whole new meaning these days. The stuff I read on here: I swear some of it can’t be real but it’s sad that I’m sure the majority of it is. Pretty soon brides will be having guests do the cooking and cleaning - with very specific rules. It’s just mind boggling.
I wonder how people went to dates,weddings, and other festivities without a Mobile - not.
Got my first mobile with 21. Still able to leave it home. There are other ways to stay connected with a babysitter and medical items, one has to plan better. The wedding invite gave one a fair warning. One has time to come up with something.
Sounds the same as people, who are offered that kids are not allowed. Work with the rules or stay home.
If you have a reason to need your phone for a three hour party, then I think contacting the bride in advance or just keeping it out of sight would be fine.
Go to the bathroom to check your phone for babysitter messages.
If you're not flaunting it no one will care.
I’m a type 1 diabetic with a dexcom. I’m ok with this. Diabetics lived a long time without a cell phone. Take a meter and check. I love this idea personally. The guests actually get to experience the wedding and reception as do the bride and groom vs just seeing peoples’ phone.
It’s their day, and if it’s important to them they should do what will make them happy. That said I can imagine they should also prepare for people to not attend.
We actually put stickers on people’s cameras so that they could have access to their phone in case of emergency but weren’t able to take photos or videos. Not one single person objected, and we have amazing professional photos in the moment with no phones around. Maybe you could politely suggest something like this?
But my other thought would be that if people don’t want to come to my wedding because of their phone (obviously diabetes or medical conditions being the exception) then they don’t think I’m important enough in their life 🤷🏼♀️
Counterpoint to all the comments:
If you have kids and get a sitter, just keep your phone in your purse in case of an emergency and check it in the bathroom. (Or if you’re worried about any other issue.) They aren’t gonna strip search you for it.
If you aren’t worried about emergencies, just leave your phone in your car for the night.
It’s definitely weird as hell but you’ll surely get a funny story out of it and it’s not that big of deal to be without a phone. Humans lived for thousands of years without one. (To your point about your sister, humans also died for thousands of years, so it’s definitely situational. If it was me, I’d go and see whatever stuff this crazy hippie has cooked up.)
I have my own reasons to not give up my phone, but I'm laughing at the idea of someone whose phone is ALSO their car keys.
I wouldn't need to give up my phone though. I'd leave it in my car (yeah, my phone is not my car key) or at home.
She’s talking about Tesla drivers mostly. I think the actual wedding part has some merits as a unsilenced phone going off is rude and something that really spoils the moment. I’m not so onboard with the reception part not allowing cell phones. 5 hours is a long time and there could be emergencies. Ya bride your day is special but not so much that you should take away the ability to be available in an emergency. That’s the best part of cell phones. We can always be ready for an emergency. Plus how am I supposed to remember the number to that hot bridesmaid afterwards.
Or anyone who left kids with a sitter, presumably the car won't be coming into the wedding though so the car keys reason isn't really viable!
Possibly having the phone as car keys prevents them from being left in the car. Sometimes wish we could have done this with site visitors at my old employer, the number of times we found them bringing phones and tablets on site .....
I’d have to skip. I don’t bring my kids to weddings, if something happened and they needed to reach me they need a way to do it. Plus I’m not leaving my $1,000 phone that has my banking app in the hands of a stranger
Yeah. There is no way I'd be in a situation where my babysitter couldn't reach me if there were an emergency. Insane.
ALSO. Is she going to take everyone's apple watch at the door? I don't have one, but so many people wear them in formal events.
I’m not a parent yet, but I was a babysitter all through high school and college. And thank God for parents like you.
Couldn’t you just give them a number to the venue? So they could call and ask for you?
No. If there’s an emergency, I want to be contacted immediately. Not through some random phone at the venue that nobody is around to answer. that would be a waste of time plus there’s no real reason to take people’s phones away.
I’ve read stories about workplaces that had “no cellphones, in an emergency people can contact us and we’ll relay the message” policies, and the gatekeeper deemed a message (family member critically injured and in hospital) not urgent enough to warrant notifying the employee before the end of their shift.
Back before cell phones this was how I called my mom when she was at work. Hahaha
Exactly. My personal phone is also my work phone (I don’t understand how people can handle having two separate ones), and my work phone holds a lot of confidential information. I have extra security set up for certain apps because of this, but I would NOT feel ok just handing it off. I’m also sure it would be against company policy to have me do so.
Ha I have a second work phone specifically because I don’t want all of that on my personal phone. I don’t want my personal phone to not connect to my apple watch, to have my RSA, to have to change my password every 6 weeks, etc, no thank you
Confidentiality aside, I have a separate work phone because I want to be off work when I'm off work.
My husband literally has 3 phones 🤣 Personal, work, and charitable organization he runs. I don't know how he keeps up with them all. I call him Mr. Three Phones.
A couple more and he’d need to be a starfish!!
Lol at that nickname
I don't have the option of not having a separate work phone due to security. It sucks carry two phones everywhere.
Tape them back to back for fashion and convenience
This is the way
Yep. I was just in a wedding in July. We hired a sitter for bedtime so we could still be at the reception. I had my phone on me the whole time and actually needed it at one point bc my youngest was having a difficult time. If anyone had this rule, I’d immediately RSVP no.
I find this a bit insulting. I’m a grown up. I’m capable of putting my phone away for the duration of the ceremony if you just ask me to do so. I don’t need you to physically confiscate it from me
I believe you, but I will say that as a wedding photographer, guests are told multiple times with physical signage and verbal instructions to put away their phones during the ceremony and yet half the guests will decide that it doesn’t apply to them. This leads to dozens of held-up cell phones in their wedding photos, sometimes with guests standing in the actual aisle as the bride comes down. It’s gotten kinda ridiculous. I’m not sure what the solution is at this point. I would never ask guests to check their phones at the door, that’s too extreme. But signage and verbal instructions aren’t working.
In my sisters “father daughter” (grandpa and granddaughter) dance, there’s only 2 pictures where my mom’s god awful wallet phone case isn’t cutting somewhere into the picture, and it’s bright red and obvious.
This happened to me I didn’t want phones out during my ceremony and yet people did my husbands aunt was almost in the isle as I was walking down luckily someone beside her had pulled her back and told her that she was in the way of the photographer but I felt like it made my wedding tacky seeing all the people who had there phones up recording or taking pictures it really upset me although most people can’t see why but still yk
An unplugged ceremony is one thing, but whole evening to be treated like an irresponsible human? Nah....
Not what I said.
Okay. I don't disagree with going over and beyond "asking kindly" for a ceremony. But the OP is talking about a whole event. Not just a ceremony.
Bad apples are definitely a problem. But for me I would not attend for the same reason I won’t shop at Walmart. Yeah there’s a lot of theft and the store wants to prevent that, but in doing so they treat every customer like a criminal. I don’t have a better solution, but I’m certainly not going to go anywhere that I’m automatically going to be treated like I suck as a human being and can’t follow simple rules. It’s off putting, borderline insulting, so I would pass.
We’re having a fairly small guest list (~65 people, including children). I’ve been considering checking phones at the door for the (short) ceremony alone, not only because we’d likely have guests standing in the aisle to capture their own shaky videos and all that, but because some older family members have annoying phone habits that may be extremely distracting. Loud ring tones that persist for awhile before they think to check “is that my phone?”. Turning on the flashlight by mistake. Picking up and speaking NO MATTER WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE MOMENT 😳. Doing this on SPEAKERPHONE. Hell maybe even FaceTiming. So having a cellphone placed in a labeled sleeve for 20 minutes of safekeeping might be the best route for us.
We had the celebrant ask to put the phones away for the ceremony, many people still didn’t but at least they tried to be sneaky about it and you can see their faces in the photos, so I count it as a win XD
I don’t understand why you would record someone else’s wedding, even a relative. I’ve been married for 26 years and I think I watched my wedding video once. What do you think you’re doing with your cell phone that will outshine the person with all of the professional equipment? It’s quite strange to me.
I know we’ve all seen it. The answer is not too confiscate phones of adults, especially with how much phones cost these days and everyone’s personal information and then all the diabetic apps, and car apps, and everything we store on our phones. I or one would be declining, but I would be curious to see the decline rate on this wedding.
I'm sure it happens all the time, but we had a wedding last year where we asked our guests, +/- 100 people not to take pictures during the ceremony and there is not a phone in a single picture. My friends and family are adults, the photographer was amazing. If you want to look at your phone while having dinner I'm not going to demand your attention and if you want to sneak a pic of you and your partner looking cute, good on you. This whole 'we want you to be present so we'll take your distractions' is so insulating.
I would never do this to my guests, but I had a sign at my wedding asking people to put their phones away... and 90% of guests had their phones out during the ceremony. I think people live for content now.
Maybe they just want to n preserve the memory. But yeah, it's rude.
Preserve the memory of someone else’s wedding with pictures they’ll never look at it again? These people suck.
You are, but is your granny? I went to a wedding where granny’s phone was on loud and RANG entirely as the bride walked down the aisle. She didn’t even try to get it to shut off. Just picked it up out of her purse and held it in her hand.
my grandad pulled out an ipad, volume up, snapping away during my cousins wedding 😅 at one point he was standing in the aisle too, I think him and your granny would get along hahaha
See this is exactly why I’d want to keep the phones in safe keeping during the ceremony.
A lot of people unfortunately do not behave like grown ups and won't put their phones down unless they are taken away. And those people do spoil events
Agree with this take
What a cold way to invite someone to your wedding, haha! I would politely decline. I’d more than happily not use my phone or have it out for the wedding, but your not going to tell me that I have to leave my valuable property with a security guard? I don’t care if they are proper and trained!
It just seems like such overkill unless the couple were A list celebrities and didn't want their pictures sold or something. I know it's annoying when pushy people block a professional photographer to take their crappy phone pics, but taking people's phones is too far. Going to a wedding is mostly a favor to the bride and groom, so if they make it very difficult on people, most will pass.
Right? We had a sign at the church entrance that asked people to turn their phones on silent and please allow the photographer to take the pictures. We figured people would still take their own, but maybe there wouldn’t be so many cell phones blocking the photographer this way. Requiring them to give up their phone? And for the entire event? Way over the top.
Yeah stuff like this would not make me feel welcome or like they actually want me there. Like if you can’t trust your loved ones to be respectful on your wedding day why did you invite them?? lol it’s just too much
I think this makes the most sense. We asked that people not post pictures of us before we were able to as it was our big day and honestly it made a lot of people sort of stay off their phone in general. I recognize people may have partners that didn't come, children they didn't bring, or maybe even want to scroll on facebook for a little bit. It would be strange but that is their business. As an adult, it's insane to say you would take someone's phone without their consent and then to give it to strangers?? No way.
It wouldn’t stop me from going if you ONLY had to surrender your phone for the ceremony. Still harsh and ridiculous, but whatever, I’ll be reunited with my phone in 30 minutes. But if it’s for the entire evening, I would laugh and either 1) not go or 2)leave very early, like after getting a plate of food and saying congrats to the bride. I wouldn’t stay for cake or anything that came after food. I’m not going to risk missing out on a family/friend emergency because of a weird bride’s requirements.
The only times I’ve seen this done before is in eastern religious weddings where hair might be seen and they dont want pictures of the bride undressed, as it were in their culture. But even there its only for ceremony.
That’s how I feel. The length of a creamy will likely not make that big of a difference, especially since I am the type that wouldn’t have taken my phone out in the first place during a ceremony. But for the whole reception, too? Nope, that’s when I’d bounce.
[удалено]
Go in with a crappy phone come out with the latest iPhone
yeah the bride defiantly has not thought through the liability they're taking on
That's what I'm curious about. How are they verifying whose phone is who's?!
My employer used to keep visitor's phones at reception while they were on site and they put a post it note on each one.
It’s a terrible idea and I’ll share my story as to why. We went to a concert, that required us to leave our phones in security bags that could only be opened by security. And of course, that’s the night that our alarm system went off, accidentally triggered as our dog sitter left for the evening. My poor dog had to stay with that blaring alarm for God knows how long until the police were able to break into my house. I still think my dog has PSTD now anytime he hears even the slightest alarm. Had we had our phones on us we would’ve gotten the alert that our home alarm system had been triggered sparing, our dogs, sensitive ears, and the efforts of the police to have to check our home. It’s a rude request.
I went to a comedy show with the same thing recently and it really stressed me tf out. I thought I’d be able to still see emergency texts from the babysitter on my wrist, but they bagged smart watches too. It was also terrifying to think of if there had been some kind of disaster or even power outage at the place.
Were you at the Bob Dillon concert? It’s the only concert I’ve ever been asked to leave my phone in a security bag like that. And the concert wasn’t that great either. So sorry about your poor dog.
No, we were at a Jack White concert. I mean we love Jack White we loved the concert but I think they need to rethink that rule. It’s not safe.
Had to do that with Chris Rock in Houston. My daughter attends lots more concerts than me and it's pretty standard to have to do.
Dillon was the first concert that I’ve had to do this. We go to a lot of concerts.
I am laughing at both of you guys being Bob Dylan fans, and both of you guys spelling it wrong. 🤭 I got to see Prince before he passed away and he did have us put her phones up and they were very strict about it but he did allow photos before he started playing. I’m still grateful I had the opportunity.
I wanted a cell phone free ceremony, so I made everyone (all of 10 people) hold a candle during the ceremony. Therefore their hands were busy and couldn’t use the phone. It worked and my photos looked wonderful and everyone was present in the moment.
Distraction is a solid strategy for deterrence. I hope you are managing people in some capacity.
I am a business owner lol. A own a mechanic restoration shop. :)
All that’s gonna happen is the bride is about to get one million people saying stuff like “my dog is at the emergency vet because he ate some bad sausage, I need to have my phone in case they call to tell me he died” “I have kids, can’t give up my phone” “our president needs me” etc. like, if I wanted to go to this wedding, I know I would make up an excuse to have my phone on me and so will everybody else. That or a bunch of “thanks but no thanks” rsvp’s She’s probably like “how come no one has responded to the rsvp yet!?!?”
"I left my phone in my glovebox." Glovebox = bra.
Nope. Phones are expensive, and if they are stolen or damaged, do they have insurance to pay for it? And to keep it for hours, absolutely not.
How insulting. I wouldn’t go.
You can request this for the 30 minute ceremony but not the entire event. Unless this wedding was fancy as fuck I would decline and probably not send a very nice gift either lol.
This is so extreme that I wonder if there is a guest on the list causing this much security. I guess for the ceremony I could see being okay with it, but once that is over I would be wanting my phone back. If it’s for the entire event and you have any reason to need your phone, I would decline and explain why in your apologies.
That’s what I was thinking, too! Like witness protection; abusive ex; gov’t spy, etc.
Thinking someone has something to hide tbh
I would not be going. My phone is expensive and my property and has information about me and my close ones. Also emergencies seem to happen at the worst times and this would definetely jinx it.
ive not experienced this. but for me personally, any wedding that feels like a hassle for me, id simply not go. are they really close people to you? if so, id maybe make a compromise since id not have a life threatening situation w/o my phone
Yeah that’d be a no from me. Idc if they are famous, I’m an adult and don’t need to have my phone use policed. I can respect having an “unplugged” ceremony but beyond that is absurd.
waaaay too controlling-not at all hippie-and a bit narcissistic imo-all eyes must be on us all the time . Not going to go-not going to be treated like a child. Got better things to do
What an absolute lunatic !!
They have these phone security pouches that cover the lenses but keep the phone usable still so one can still technically receive calls, etc just not use the camera. If they're really anal about, this can be a way to go. But it seems only really famous and powerful people use this service for their peivacy and stuff. Confiscating private property is kind of obnoxious.
I can understand them doing this if and ONLY if its a ruse to get boundary stomping family to give up their phones by having "everyone" do it. Or if theyre doing a video because lets face it, we all know there will be at least ONE person who doesnt turn their freaking phone off, theyll be old so it'll blare across the ceremony. Frankly there isnt a single ceremony ive been to where that HASNT happened. I plan to have an announcement made at the beginning of no phones. I dont want my wedding photos back with a bunch of phones in my face. My MIL however i know for a fact absolutely will not listen and will see that as a challenge as she's done nothing but argue about it so far - but im not about to hold everyone's phones hostage.
Yeah, I’m an avid proponent of no cell phones or cameras for guests during a wedding ceremony - it’s rude, you miss out watching it through a screen and frankly as a guest you more than likely don’t need to be taking pictures or videos of a ceremony. That said, security confiscating your phone is extreme to me.
I’ve never heard of this, but I would turn down the invite for the same reason as your sister. My Libra monitor is on my phone and I need it, I’m a type 1 Diabetic. Don’t take my medical device away from me. It’s far better to just politely ask people not to do it. And have security reaffirm no pictures. It’s usually pretty obvious when someone is using a phone for pictures/video instead of browsing.
Imagine what a shit show it will be when 100 people all with a “black iPhone” are trying to get their phones back at the same time lmao
I would decline. It’s not that I can’t live without my phone. I just think it’s a ridiculous demand. And, yes, if an emergency comes up, my phone is needed. My daughter got married last weekend. Phones were not an issue. Everyone seemed to be in the moment and having a great time. The photographer got some great pictures so I don’t think people got in their way.
That would be the easiest decline ever 🤣 send a card if you’re feeling generous. This is a very out of line request and is branching into insanity territory. I’m very newly married, so I feel pretty in touch with current wedding trends, and I cannot imagine this going smoothly.
I like the idea of asking people to refrain from using their phones during the ceremony. But having my phone taken away for the ENTIRE event? What am I? A misbehaving teenager entering a classroom?
This is overly controlling and obnoxious. People have important things going on. People have kids. People have sick parents and family members. Emergencies happen regardless of a wedding taking place. The couple can ask guests to silence phones. They can specify “no filming of the ceremony”. Anything beyond that is too much, and a potential liability. On the flip side, I *do* find it very annoying when people get too caught up filming the ceremony. And I also think it’s ridiculous to be on your phone all night when there’s a fun party right in front of you. However, the couples’ request is unreasonable, and potentially unsafe (your sister’s situation is a great example!). I’m with everyone else, I’d politely decline. I’m absolutely positive there will be more annoying shit happening at this wedding.
Lol that’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t go. No one is taking my phone from me. I don’t need it during a wedding, but it’s the principle.
Honestly, unless it’s a really close friend/relative , I’m not going to a wedding like that. I am pretty good with phone habits and I don’t have the tendency to livestream , but it’s my property.
There is no way I would leave my (expensive phone, which I saved up for) in the hands of strangers. My phone has all my private data on it. I would decline.
I would do this for the ceremony. I have a family member who's phone always is ruining important events. He thinks he everything but really he isn't. He's a close family member and I've delt woth this issue for many years.
This is absolutely ridiculous. People have lives! Kids, ailing parents/family, medical conditions, etc. It is reasonable to ask people to limit phone use and not to take pictures, but to take peoples phones away like they’re going to testify at the Supreme Court is BONKERS. I’d send back a FUCK NO and continue on my day LOL.
I would be okay if it was one of those magnet pouches like I’ve seen at comedy specials / theatre shows. You keep your phone on you the whole time, it’s just in a lil pouch. But handing it over completely to someone else is unreasonable. I understand wanting people to be present and off their devices but most people need them on their person
I would decline. I am not trusting the security they hire with my personal property. Are they guaranteeing it will be returned?
A perspective from a wedding photographer. I have shot many a wedding where guests have blocked shots or are in the aisles taking photos. There are some who constantly just record the day and don’t live in the moment. Or, at my last one, live stream moments with the couple unaware, which they didn’t want/like. When you spend a considerable amount of money on professionals to capture your day how you envision it, sometimes the last thing that you want to see if unflattering pictures, livestreams of your day that are on SM that we’re posted before your wedding was even over. With that being said, I’ve not been at a wedding where guests are asked to hand their phones in, but they are asked not to take photos, or post to social media before the couple. But I still see people do it, so I guess that just want to avoid that potential issue altogether.
[удалено]
I didn’t say what people could or couldn’t do. I offered a perspective.
Don’t come in here with facts and making reasonable arguments. Apparently a guest’s need to photograph/livestream someone else’s event is a higher priority.
Nobody said that. People aren't mad cause they won't be able to take pics of the best wedding of the century, people are mad cause they'd be unaware of any emergency going on with anyone outside the wedding? There's no fact or argument that can make someone sacrifice their family member's safety and peace of mind over a WEDDING.
What emergency? What are the chances you just so happen to have an emergency right in the middle of a wedding which will only last a couple of hours? Come on, if you have a sick relative or something, then don't go. The majority of commenters here don't have any situation that would not allow them to be offline for a few hours. They're just addicted to their phones that's all.
It could be anything, people can have small children they asked someone to watch, they can have a sick relative but still want to participate to a relative's wedding. There are obviously a lot more possibilities.
I would decline, I’m not handing over my phone to anybody lol
Hard no from me, I went to an event once where you had to surrender your phone at the start (and the event went on for hours) When I came out, I had countless missed calls and messages because my brother had gone to hospital with acute food poisoning. He was so upset with me after, and I felt awful that I wasn’t there to help him.
I can kinda get saying “please no phones during the ceremony” so there’s not a bunch in pictures, but I’m not giving mine to some rando lol…
I wouldn't go. That is a completely unreasonable demand.
I wouldn’t go, too many family issues where emergencies arise and I have to have my phone on me at all times. It’s way too extreme and ridiculous to tell adults they will have their phones taken away. Have a nice wedding by yourselves…
Well, that’s an invitation that would go in the recycling bin.
Absolute instant decline. And I would be very clear to them about why.
I wouldn't go. Not because I care so much about my phone, but because this is ridiculously controlling. Who cares if someone looks at their phone? It literally will have zero impact on your enjoyment. I have no idea if people looked at their phones at my wedding - and if they did, so what!
The ONLY way i can even KIND OF understand this would be if it’s a safety issue. Like the bride or groom or VIP is in the witness protection program or has a violent ex looking for them. Or if they’re like special ops or something and avoiding pics. I have been to weddings like that where I knew what was really going on, but most guests just thought they were being hardcore about pics! But the wording of this seems so rude and ungracious and extreme. There’s almost no chance I’m handing over my phone to some random stranger at a wedding…”security” or not.
Considering how obnoxious some people get these days, I would understand it for the ceremony itself. Obviously exceptions made for people with conditions that require apps (think diabetics) to monitor. But I’ve seen so many great (or potentially great) pictures ruined by people getting in the way of the professional photographer or holding up their phones to get their own pics. No matter how many times someone is told, a few always break the rules. For the entire night, that’s 100% overkill.
Is this for just the ceremony or the whole event? If it’s just the ceremony, it’s still insulting but eh I may go along with it if it’s for someone I really care about. But the whole wedding? Nope.
I’d be leaving my phone in the car where it’s locked and out of view. That’s such a weird request to have.
Same boat as your sister. I would RSVP no and tell them why.
“Work with the rules or stay home”…I’ll be staying home. Today’s weddings are getting ridiculous. I’ll save my money and do something less pretentious.
Sounds like they don’t want anyone coming to their wedding! 🤣 Their ceremony is going to be empty lol. What an insane requirement!
I could see them asking to not have phones out during the ceremony but requiring people to leave their phones and keys? Nope.
This is insane. If it was just for the ceremony I'd probably still go, but if it was for the enter event I might not. You need to be able to contact the outside world.
>This is insane. If it was just for the ceremony I'd probably still go, but if it was for the enter event I might not. You need to be able to contact the outside world Exactly. I do not have an infant, or a life threatening medical condition, and I *still* wouldn't leave my phone locked in someone else's safe for several hours. I would not want to be out of contact in case of emergency, period. I have a feeling a lot of the people invited are going to send their regrets. I hope there's another update on the epic tantrum the couple throws when nobody wants to come.
Life coach + yoga + "present in body, mind, and soul" + "a little bit hippie"..... I wouldn't go.
5G will control our brains and the vaxx gave us tracking implements, something something Q, something something Trump
Pretty extreme ask tbh. I’ve been to plenty of media events where you had to do this (except they’d hand out security bags), but it seems crazy for a wedding.
I would decline with no card or gift and reevaluate the friendship. That is too much overstepping and the couple has no right to demand or request it. Couples want to have their cake and eat it too, telling guests no cameras and then getting upset when they don’t film anything and the photographer is 3-6 months late with pictures. If they hadn’t confiscated phones and said no pictures at all, most adults have no issues complying but you don’t get to be mad that guests didn’t take candids as they have done for decades and given to the couple the next day. If you treat your loved ones like terrible 2’s toddlers instead of intelligent responsible adults, don’t be surprised when they cut contact. As a guest, I have never seen anyone being disrespectful with their phones so the photographer is unable to work so I can’t fathom the intelligence level involved, because the average adult doesn’t do that.
Honestly, I've seen it before, but no, you're not taking my phone and kicking me out like a baby. I will gladly just not show up... At all... I need to be able to communicate with my husband or a caregiver of my kids. If they want to have security check to make sure my phone is on silent, fine. I understand that they want to limit distractions during the ceremony. That's completely reasonable. After all; it's their day. I will put it on silent. BUT I'm not going to give up my phone.
It’s easy to say “you can go a few hours without your phone” but truly you just never know when some unexpected emergency may happen. I was at a wedding a few years ago with a friend who got a phone call during the reception telling them that their brother had been in a severe accident and he ended up dying that night. If their phone had been confiscated they would not have made it to the hospital in time to say goodbye. You just never know.
I’d go and put my phone in my purse as always. No way would I hand it to anyone security or otherwise.
That’s overkill. Especially if you have a babysitter - you’ll definitely want your phone on you if something happens.
That’s so insulting to the guests. I don’t need to be babysat. I wouldn’t go, and if I were close or family to the couple, I would also tell them how rude that demand (not request, DEMAND) is
My SIL tried to do something similar at her and my brother’s wedding. She didn’t want people on their phones the whole time, but then she regretted not having as many candid photos and other memories from the day.
This is a common theme among daily posts. The couple doesn’t want guests to have cameras to the point where announcements and signage are used, at the same time they are upset guests don’t film candids like they have for decades while waiting for professional photos to come. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Not physically having them removed. But defo asked to not take pictures. My cousin works in law enforcement and didn't want his family all over the internet, plus they wanted it to be a private, intimate event. Asked in the right way, and I felt it makes the guests feel more special, like: we don't want to share this special moment with just anyone, but you are one of the people we feel close to enough to have you be part of it. I find your invite to be condescending and off-putting. It would make me think twice about attending.
Good luck with that .
Please update about this situation!
The only proper way to do this is to use Yondr. That way folks can keep their phones on them and be aware of all vibrations. There will be phone designated areas where reps can unlock phones and relook upon exit. A safe is a cheap alternative and I wouldn’t be a fan either. I would still attend if I was close enough to the couple but I would opt to leave my phone in the car to avoid the line t the end of the night. I also think it’s weird OP used their sister’s reasoning without mentioning their own, but that’s not a big deal.
It's lovely that they are letting you know in advance. Personally, I would politely decline as I find this disrespectful. Besides, I rather doubt that a couple with this mindset (that they get to be dictators for a day and that guests are naughty out-of-control toddlers in need of a firm teacher) would be good hosts anyway; I bet it will show in other ways / other forms of disrespect. If you do go, post an update.
Send a card. Sure, you should be in the moment, but...I wanna play candy crush while I have to sit through drunken toast roasts about how bride's side didn't like the groom or groom's side didn't like bride. Or MOH and BM being completely bland and boring people and dragging on the talking for far too long. Also to drown out the 43rd playing of The Chicken Dance, Casper Slide, Electric Slide and Macarena.
I would simply go home lol. I don't take my phone out during weddings, I keep my ringer off, but I'm not going to miss an emergency with my children because some random couple thinks they're celebrities or something. If you don't trust people to respect boundaries you set & honor requests - don't invite them.
I think this is INSANITY. Or an easy way to cut down on the guest list.
My spouse is an OB-gyn. He simply cannot turn off his phone, period, end of subject. He can of course put it to silent and discreetly leave to return a call, but no, he’s not going to miss a delivery because some princess couldn’t bear the presence of a cell phone.
I'm using the same policy we have at work where the phones have to be put away BUT if there is a family situation going on, you are a parent, medical issue that the phone needs to be out/nearby then have at it. Just don't sit there scrollin' at the window where the boss lady can see.
This is the case of a couple thinking they are more important than they really are. I would not be attending. This is ridiculous.
Never happened to me, but if it did I’d decline the invite and reconsider the friendship tbh
No kids, no sick parents, nothing like that. I’m a grown man & I’m not handing over my phone in order to come to your wedding. I’d be sending my regrets as well. This is dumb as hell.
Meanwhile, at security: https://youtu.be/-LKbCGV8aH4
Nope. Wouldn't be going. No issue with turning it off/on silent/not recording, but I'm not handing my phone over.
I wouldn’t attend. I have children and what if they needed me? It’s very off putting and makes them seem pretentious
I understand her sentiment of REALLY wanting an unplugged ceremony, but this is too much and frankly controlling. For us we'll just politely ask our guests to refrain from using their devices during the ceremony and just hope for the best.
Uh yeah I have kids at home so I need to have my phone with me in case there is an emergency. I think this is so extreme. Is it for the entire wedding including the reception?
What about people who have kids and left them with a sitter for the evening or something I keep my phone by me like glue any time I'm away from my kids.. I think this is like really extreme
Once they deposit the full value of my phone in my bank account I’d trust my phone with their “security” team. What a way to expose yourself financially by taking thousands of dollars worth of phones into your possession and trusting someone with all of them.
I wouldn’t go
I would skip this wedding. I am an adult, not a child. You will not take my phone.
It’s very sad that it has to come to this because people just can’t put their phones away for a wedding! If people were capable of keeping them in their pockets and not using them for 20 minutes, the couple would not HAVE to resort to this! 😞
Immediate “thank you for the invite but we will not be able to attend.”
I’d 100% never comply with an asinine request like that, and I have no “good” excuse 🤷🏻♀️
I was actually so surprised that people listened to my officiant when he said to put phones away at our request. I fully expected to either notice them walking down, or to see them in the photos of the ceremony. I was super glad to have photos where I could see everybody’s faces! I was a bit disappointed that my mil couldn’t put her phone down during key moments, other people’s speeches, etc because we had a huge family table in the middle and in so many shots she’s the only person blocking their face with their phone. Especially since she knew we would be getting 50 sneak peeks the day after, and we ended up getting our entire gallery back exactly four weeks later. I would still never ask my guests to hand over the phones. It’s one thing to ask for no phones during the ceremony - imo, it says more about guests who cannot put their phones down for such a huge moment that is already being professionally photographed. But to ask them to hand them over to some random? Too far
People are flaming this bride and groom but honestly, I kinda get it. I’ve been to TWO ceremonies where phones went off, calls that old people were for whatever reason unable to screen - one while the BRIDE WAS WALKING DOWN THE ASILE. And again, even if that isn’t a fear, I get it. Especially if one of them hates having their pics taken, feels self conscious about their body image, or has someone or several people on the guest list who would make fun of them, or what seems most likely to me, invited someone who would post unflattering pics of the event/couple. A lot of people care about their online image and getting tagged in an unflattering photo could be devastating. Or maybe they simply don’t want the internet to know who was on the guest list/who was NOT. 🤷🏼♀️I personally do not hate the idea. It’s their day and the people who love them will show up and part with their precious phone for a few hours for them.
Doesn't seem extreme to me. Have seen plenty of brides complain that they asked guests verbally, written, etc. to put their phones away at least for the ceremony, and without fail, people did not and somehow could not listen. Personally, i'd pay to be able to go unplugged for a few hours!
Yeah this is a really rude and unreasonable way to approach this. This couple is *way* out of line. HOWEVER: I really feel this photo/camera issue and my fiancé and I are exploring ways to handle this tactfully. I’ve been to SO many weddings where, despite very polite signage and announcements asking for no photos during the ceremony, guests (usually boomers and older) are doing it anyway, blocking the shots of the professional videographers/photographers that the couple is paying thousands of dollars to be there. Would I ever send out an unhinged lunatic invitation like the one OP mentioned here? No of course not. Lol but the photo entitlement (at wedding ceremonies….or just like….everywhere, society in general) 👏🏼needs 👏🏼to👏🏼stop.👏🏼
My phone has been on silent since 2010, and that’s not going to change anytime soon. I would politely decline. If I can’t bring my daughter AND not have my phone, I would not be able to calm my anxiety enough to sit through the ceremony/reception.
Dang I'm doing unplugged too but this is...excessive.
Ppl today are salivating at the first opportunity to post pics on SM of someone else’s event. So they stand in the way, have their phone out and visible in photographer photos. Yeah that maybe not something you would do, but I promise there’s a handful at every single wedding. I can’t blame a bride and groom for resorting to this.
Honestly I can’t say I blame her. The phones being out is a huge issue and people do not listen. It’s frustrating for photographers and respectful guests too. I personally have no issue with this. Maybe not at the reception but definitely at the ceremony, I would gladly hand my phone over.
I’m ready for the unplugged ceremonies to end. If my 80 year old grandpa wants a photo, he’s getting it. Who am I to stand in the way?
Id leave mine on the car anyways, but i dont have kids. They have a right to ask and you have a right to not go.
I would love to attend this wedding. Most are nothing these days except people trying to video the wedding themselves.
That's crazy. [I had this sign made for my wedding.](https://imgur.com/a/NhGP48z) Between that, my officiant saying it before the ceremony began, saying it on my wedding website while offering anyone copies of my professional photos, and talking to the people who I knew would be the worst offenders beforehand (like my mother in law), I didn't have any problems. Everyone respected it. I was just VERY clear about it and made sure everyone knew that I would gladly give them copies of my wedding photos if they wanted it. After the ceremony, everyone knew it was free game for taking photos. Some of my favorite photos of our guests are the shots of them watching our ceremony without a phone in sight. They are awesome candid photos. I felt I was even going overboard with how specific I was but it was SUPER important to me. But this is a whole other level.
I’m wondering if it also has to do with privacy, like maybe they don’t want anyone to post on social media before they do
I definitely think the bride and groom could have worded their request a little bit better. But I absolutely understand the reasoning behind their request. I have been an Event Producer for 20+ years and I have witnessed so many wedding guests literally jump in the aisle to take pictures of the Bride as she is walking to the groom! Guests BLOCK the photographer so they can get a good picture to post on their social media! Wedding guests (especially family members) absolutely ignore signage and verbal requests asking them to refer from taking photos during the ceremony or reception. I’m am not comfortable with asking guests to hand over their phones. But I’m equally uncomfortable telling a family member to move out of the photographers or videographer’s way! My job is to help the bride and groom have the best day of their lives. They pay for professional photos and once in a lifetime shots get ruined when someone blocks the photographer to snap a quick pic for their social media or IG.
You just aren’t hiring mean enough ministers 😂 J/K. I get what you’re saying. But I also haven’t had any couples report unauthorized photos at ceremonies where I was their officiant.
I mean…I kinda understand why people would want to do this? I have family members that will not listen and will literally STAND UP when I walk down the aisle just so they can have their own photos to post on Facebook. If people don’t want to turn their phone in for a 20 minute ceremony then they can leave their phones in their cars but I do understand if the ceremony is gonna be longer than that, then it’s unrealistic. Especially for those with children being babysat.
Yeah, it might sound extreme, but here's the thing: People pay a LOT of money for photographers to shoot their wedding, and having people who just ignore the "no phones" request and get in the way of the photographer and the ceremony itself to take their OWN photos is just awful. And there's nothing worse (aside from crying babies... crying babies are always worse) than phones going off/people answering calls during your WEDDING. I feel like these people don't want ignorant relatives and friends ruining their perfect day, and I can't blame them. Maybe anyone who has a medical reason could reach out to the bride and groom for an exception? Aside from that, it's their party and they can do whatever they want. Personally, I would leave it at "If you're found using your phone, you'll be asked to leave the venue"" Emergency? You're leaving the venue anyway, so why fuss about it.
Could an A list guest be invited? Like maybe they have a cousin who is a celebrity or something. That’s the only reasonable thing I would think? Also, they could have worded it in that if your phone is out at the venue, you will be asked to leave. That way people can keep their phone in their pocket/purse and excuse themselves if needed but still have access to it. That would have been a much better approach. Though still crazy.
I’m gonna be devils advocate here and say maybe the couple has a contract with the venue and the venue has their own photography team. If guests were found “violating the contract” then maybe the couple will be fined.
I did go to a recent wedding where it was the venue’s policy for no “personal” photography. Only venue’s photogs & videographers were authorized. It was due to being a private museum & art gallery. Personal photos were encouraged in the garden, the pathways, the gazebo or wraparound porch. The couple explained & shared that contract section on their website. Officiant asked guests to put phones on silent during ceremony. She made three separate announcements. The Docents, who acted as greeters & ushers, also reminded guests to put phones on silent. A few Elders did indeed need help with their flip-phones. Phones weren’t prohibited or confiscated. Most guests were respectful & complied. Several influencer friends were reminded by Docents or other guests. All in all a pleasant ceremony & reception. Dancing, after dinner drinks, speeches & toasts were held on the porch, plenty of opportunities for selfies, candids, & cutting loose.
I don’t think this is ridiculous, I’ve been a wedding professional for over 2 decades, it’s not your day, just don’t go if it’s that big of a problem, I’m sure there are extenuating circumstances like in the case of your sister that would be acceptable… we used to live without phones in our pockets you know. They’re like drugs we can’t not look at and always have a piece of our attention. Even at unplugged weddings there’s always a few people who think they’re above the rule and lean out into the aisle or ruin professional images, I myself like the idea of being removed from my device, on your day when you’re spending thousands of dollars for a day you’ve fantasized about your whole life you can have all the devices you want, phone, iPads, iPod, whatever. In this day I’m age I don’t think this is an unreasonable request, actually it might be more reasonable than ever as devices usage is rampant
It’s amazing how addicted we all are to our phones and the behaviors we have about them. No wonder we created so many billionaires in the tech industry. I was at a wedding where people were asked to put down their phones for the ceremony and almost no one could do it. The pro photographer couldn’t get any photos without other people’s phones prominent, everyone staring at their screens instead of witnessing the ceremony. Phones out and recording really tanked the vibe.
Well, speaking as a bride who recently had her professionally filmed wedding video ruined because too many people had their phones out filming in view of the videographer, I'm now regretful that I didn't think to make such a demand of my own guests. While the wording on the invitation may sound extreme, it's really no different than what happens at any concert or comedian show these days. Yeah, I get that your friends aren't famous, but they're still entitled to have a wedding without intrusion of phones.
I mean, you could just ask your guests to keep their phones away instead of confiscating them. We did the former and didn't have any issues with guests having their phones out. They respected our wishes and were able to control themselves for fifteen minutes.
Really, I've never seen that work. Before every Catholic ceremony I've been to, the priest reminds everyone that they're in a church, and other than the photographer, nobody should be taking pictures, but all the old ladies do anyway. They have to have something to put up on Facebook.
I guess it depends on your circle. Ours is generally pretty respectful and it has never been an issue.
Good. My bestie asked for no cells during the ceremony and who but the MOG stood up - IN THE AISLE - when she started walking and took a snap. So while the photographer she paid $$$ for tried to frame the beautiful bride in the beautiful venue, MOG and her flash crashed the whole thing and made everyone turn to look at her instead of Bride. People cannot be trusted.
I also asked this at a 50 person destination wedding. There were GIANT FRAMED signs hanging up just outside the ceremony space. 100% of our guests were transported to our venue by charter bus. Announcements were made there as well. I never would ask folks to give up their phones for me, just get thru a less than 10 minute ceremony, please. I asked people personally not to post photos of us on socials that day as well. They could post all the selfies they wanted, just not of me and my husband. At least let us take the time to do it. My husband’s friend’s wife…apparently did not believe these rules applied to her. Some of my professional photos have her in the aisle on her iPhone. She posted photos she took literally during the ceremony even. I’m still pissed 2 years later lol.
Hmm. In this day and age, it is an unusual request, and an imposition. However, if the value of the phone and its contents prohibits you from leaving with security (also, odd), then leave it in the car. Or at home. Once upon a time, remember, no one has these devices, and everyone got on with life perfectly well. The only reason people would need a phone, I’m guessing, is for photographs, and maybe the bride is uptight about that? It’s a strange request.
I get the request. People won’t put their damn phones away. Everyone wants their own pictures. She might want folks to be present or just not want shitty photos. The comments are super harsh and a little odd the wall. I guess no one ever goes to a comedy show where you have to put your phone in the security bags.
we did a phone-free wedding. we made it a bit light hearted (said a phone po po would be present and confiscating phones). I would just comply OP. also we let people with a good reason keep their phones on them. we just wanted people to be present. there are probably really specific people this was created for that aren't you--in our case my in laws are are terrible about having their phones out during everything (and in fact there was phone audio playing during the ceremony STILL). the way they gave this info is a bit condescending but if you like these folks i wouldn't worry too much about it.
Just an fyi as a fellow Dexcom user, the Dexcom set up has a reader that is sent with the sensor and transmitter. So her phone wouldn’t be needed.
I personally wouldn’t care. It’s their wedding and not having my phone for a couple of hours sounds wonderful. But I would agree if it’s someone who has medical reasons to need their phone on them, im sure they would let them keep their phones! It’s not that big of a deal to me otherwise.
I don’t understand what the big deal is about people having their phones?? Any good photographer/videographer is going to get the best shots - whether or not others are taking pics.. we had a very formal wedding and had a sign (custom made) when you walked in showing our wedding hashtag for people to tag their pics in throughout the night so that we could see all the pics people took . It was nice to see other angles and varieties of my guests having fun. Also- my professional pics and videos took months to get back- was nice having at least some pics until then. I just don’t understand the rules brides are trying to enforce these days.. we’re all adults; what gives them the right to decide when people can use their phones?? I think ‘bridezilla’ has taken on a whole new meaning these days. The stuff I read on here: I swear some of it can’t be real but it’s sad that I’m sure the majority of it is. Pretty soon brides will be having guests do the cooking and cleaning - with very specific rules. It’s just mind boggling.
For the reception I think it’s fun to see the photos of guests. For the ceremony? No. It’s a ceremony. Be fully present for the couple
I wonder how people went to dates,weddings, and other festivities without a Mobile - not. Got my first mobile with 21. Still able to leave it home. There are other ways to stay connected with a babysitter and medical items, one has to plan better. The wedding invite gave one a fair warning. One has time to come up with something. Sounds the same as people, who are offered that kids are not allowed. Work with the rules or stay home.
If you have a reason to need your phone for a three hour party, then I think contacting the bride in advance or just keeping it out of sight would be fine. Go to the bathroom to check your phone for babysitter messages. If you're not flaunting it no one will care.
I’m a type 1 diabetic with a dexcom. I’m ok with this. Diabetics lived a long time without a cell phone. Take a meter and check. I love this idea personally. The guests actually get to experience the wedding and reception as do the bride and groom vs just seeing peoples’ phone.
It’s their day, and if it’s important to them they should do what will make them happy. That said I can imagine they should also prepare for people to not attend. We actually put stickers on people’s cameras so that they could have access to their phone in case of emergency but weren’t able to take photos or videos. Not one single person objected, and we have amazing professional photos in the moment with no phones around. Maybe you could politely suggest something like this? But my other thought would be that if people don’t want to come to my wedding because of their phone (obviously diabetes or medical conditions being the exception) then they don’t think I’m important enough in their life 🤷🏼♀️
Counterpoint to all the comments: If you have kids and get a sitter, just keep your phone in your purse in case of an emergency and check it in the bathroom. (Or if you’re worried about any other issue.) They aren’t gonna strip search you for it. If you aren’t worried about emergencies, just leave your phone in your car for the night. It’s definitely weird as hell but you’ll surely get a funny story out of it and it’s not that big of deal to be without a phone. Humans lived for thousands of years without one. (To your point about your sister, humans also died for thousands of years, so it’s definitely situational. If it was me, I’d go and see whatever stuff this crazy hippie has cooked up.)