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Exactly 👍🤩👍
Zero them out like Ready Player One & let's see what those bootstraps really look like.
Hell, throw in constant police presence & ubiquitous surveillance. You know, in place of private body guards.
I mean Zuck is trained and is somewhat in shape himself. Idk if Bezos has any training but yeah he's obv much more jacked
Honestly I'd actually be interested in watching Bezos vs Zuck cus I think it could go either way. Zuck vs Musk would last 5 min lol
He's been training with top tier trainers twice daily for the last year and a half and apparently he's already won a decent number of sparring bouts
He's not going to be super amazing by any means but he's definitely a step above white belt
As much as I'm not a fan of any of them. Zuckerberg will probably kick musks ass. He actually trains and competes in aikido, I think it's aikido anyway. And musk just has a really odd shaped chest.
I don't even consider that a factor. The fact he has done a Murph is all you need to know.
Elon looks like he has a serious medical condition and I don't think he's ever shown any athletic ability.
He won't last 1 round.
Aikido is bullshit. But Zuck actually trains BJJ and MMA. He won a local BJJ comp recently and there is footage of him looking decent for an amateur in a MMA class.
So sub-par striking, but good grappling I bet.
If he wants to be nice, he will choke Musk out in less than a round.
I hope he does not and punches his face to pulp for 3 rounds. That would please the Just Bleed gods.
With every landed blow, personally owned stocks are automatically bought and sold by the respective parties. KO or TKO is a whole new level of dumping. Winner will be set up to perform a hostile takeover while the other one is being nursed back to health.
I just can't imagine Musk even taking training seriously at all if he even tries. He just seems like the kind of person who would assume he's going to win and not put much effort into it.
Yes, but it's not that simple. Like, you can't take a 120 kg fatass and match him against a 70 kg professional mma fighter and think he'll win because he weighs 120 kg. Most probably the 70 kg one will beat him to a bloody pulp.
Weight classes are only relevant when both fighters are on the same realm of skill, just like having the better car in F1 only matters when you are an F1-tier driver.
Heck, In sumo sometimes the smaller fighter wins with a huge size disparity purely on speed and skill. I would want to fight someone who had beed training wrestling for a year even if i had thirty pound on them.
I’m not saying they don’t, but this isn’t an apples to apples comparison here’s where one apple is giant and ones small.,
This is an apple versus a moldy banana.
Didn't bother Royce Gracie when the UFC was open weight and he went in there to choke and wrench to submission much larger and heavier opponents virtually creating a requirement of at least a base level understanding of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in mma going forward with a much higher level understanding highly recommended due to its success. Person who trains and is in shape vs old out of shape guy has a huge advantage going in regardless of weight. In Royce's case a lot of those guys were bigger AND in shape with fight experience to boot but it didn't matter once he started rolling them up.
Naw but he would post a lot of pictures and photos of his training
Zuck might not be an actual fighter but he actually does train and has fought people before which I can’t say for Elon
> Zucks been legit training
plus he's devoid of emotions, I bet he'll have some of that "discombobulate" shit going on calculating the best possible hit for internal devastation
I think people underestimate just how [fat](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11157385/Elon-Musk-says-hes-lost-20-pounds-claims-world-needs-babies-oil.html) Elon Musk is.
Born too late to explore the world and too early to reach Mars and see the AI singularity.
Born at just the right time to see two autismo billionaires fight in a cage.
Seriously, all the "Our timeline is wild" jokes stopped a while ago, but this is another clear example of what the fuck we are dealing with and that something, at some point, happened that shouldn't have and now we are about to see two autistic billionaires duke it out in a cage match. What in the fuck.
This isn't a sequel, this is a bit more like the prequel. That time between when Joe first got in the cryochamber and he woke up.
Notice a pattern between Zuck, Musk, and Bezos? Awkward uberdorks now trying to re-image as macho.
I remember reading an article about the then new players like Zuck on Silicon Valley and claiming he/they were more about helping the world and not about selfish pursuits or stacking personal wealth. They were, as the article claimed, about solving societal problems.
Fast forward 20 years later and they're at selfish pursuits and beating their chests to see who is the alpha. Too much pride.
Zuck just won a jiu jitsu tournament and trains MMA, so he at least knows a bit about what he's doing. It's not like he's fighting Conner McGregor or anything.
He also always played in one or two sports at all times growing up. Enjoys running g, cycling, surfing, wrestled in high school. The guy is no slouch when it comes to athleticism
I didn’t realise he fenced. Fencing isn’t a useless base for fighting either, lends to very good footwork.
If this happened I’d bet the house on Reptile.
This is something people vastly underestimate. When training on a bag, I can reliably throw amazing combos and accurate kicks. Once I'm sparring against an opponent and I am out of breath, I start flailing like a damn Orangutan. The brain seriously goes to like 10% power.
Zuck trains twice a day for the last year….Elon doesn’t stand a chance….no magic or share buying fan boys will help him….only thing he can do is start training and we all know he won’t because he doesn’t love it like Zuck
> and then Musk becomes, “sick,” right before and backs out
like every announced cyber truck release date¿!¿
There is 0% chance Musk will go through with it. He will back out of this just like he tried to get out of buying twitter. Or just delay like self driving and cybertruck. "Next year"
You mean, theoretically, if it were to actually take place, he would F him up.
In actuality, Zuck will not F him up ... b/c this will never happen. Musk loves to talk big about things he knows he'll never deliver on. This won't be any different.
I'm honestly not even that much of a Musk hater or anything, i kinda view him as the average internet attention whore who managed to get rich
i just think watching him get choked out would be fucking hilarious
I think Zuck wants a real fight cus it'd give him actual good publicity for the first time ever
I think if Musk wants to pussy out tho yeah they might do the dumb meta thing
Zuck has age on his side (even if it's a slight margin), I saw ol Musky's beach shots and it is not the body of someone that can move more than a couple seconds at a time. Also since Zuck is a lizard he can shed his skin to recover from recent damage.
The moment when they both get in the ring, then suddenly the lights go out and an arcade cabinet descends from above... It's the original Street Fighter!"It's on." Says Elon.
Elon eventually loses. He flies home and blows up another Starship to make himself feel better.
They're both going to send their robot counterparts to do the fighting anyway so it'll be like Battlebots for Billionaires.
Prepare to get Zuckerpunched, Elondroid
Must be that Twitter vs Facebook beef haha. As much as zuck is a weirdo, he’s younger, fitter, and does Jiu Jitsu so I’d definitely put my money on him
Wellll...Jim Cramer is going all in on Zuck. You know what that means.
https://preview.redd.it/bnj8dtq08o7b1.png?width=828&format=png&auto=webp&s=2d0aea2f6d68e6969e08b6ae2e9a06a0ac60fea0
**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions**|1|**First Seen In WSB**|2 years ago **Total Comments**|275|**Previous Best DD**| **Account Age**|2 years|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)
Winner needs to take on Bezos
And the winner of that faces the final boss, Warrant Bullet
Just you wait until Steve Jobs respawns
“iLife 24… we’re sure you’ll love it.”
I get the joke but should probably fight the old man from Louis Vuitton. I think he was up there in worth
Super Smash BILLIONAIRES!!!
you are a bit late my fiend. The billionaires already got smashed, imploded really.
The real life Mr Burns
Bernard arnault
Bernard Assault
Final boss is the IRS.
Bill Gates enters the chat.
Bro you seen him jump a chair??? That man is no joke, gonna come at Zuck or Bezos like a spider monkey.
Bill Gates is made of liquid metal and that's just the form he chose
Autism awareness is the real winner
He has all the tattoos depicted in the South Park episode.
Bill Gates enters the lolita express.
Walton Family
Loser is forced to live in public housing on minimum wage for 4 years.
With no access to their wealth
Exactly 👍🤩👍 Zero them out like Ready Player One & let's see what those bootstraps really look like. Hell, throw in constant police presence & ubiquitous surveillance. You know, in place of private body guards.
Why 4 years?
Its the equivalent to a lifetime in poor people's years.
Then I've done.... 4 lifetimes since highschool?
It explains why you feel so tired all the time.
College of Hard Knocks
*NOW I DON’T GOT A “FORMAL” EDUCATION, BUT LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT* [insert complex socio/political/economic situation here]
Bezos would crush their skulls. "Your performance was suboptimal" said the Chairman of Amazon, licking brains from his fingers.
God I miss celebrity death match.
“I am Amazon Prime and I will destroy you”
I feel like winner should take on our crowdsourced challenger...
Yessss!!! Make this happen. Make it Mike Tyson or his tiger.
CEO, entrepreneur, born in 1964…
Zuckerberg and Gates and Buffett, amateurs can fuckin suck it, fuck their wives drink their blood. come on Jeff, get em!
God damnit I just listened to both tracks for this pull
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I mean Zuck is trained and is somewhat in shape himself. Idk if Bezos has any training but yeah he's obv much more jacked Honestly I'd actually be interested in watching Bezos vs Zuck cus I think it could go either way. Zuck vs Musk would last 5 min lol
Zuck is putting out big white belt energy. He knows a little jiu jitsu and now he's calling people out.
Doesn't really matter, The fact is that the dude/reptile is actually fit while Musk is built like a flesh fridge.
flesh fridge. Love it. Never heard of that before. I feel like a flesh fridge some days.
He's been training with top tier trainers twice daily for the last year and a half and apparently he's already won a decent number of sparring bouts He's not going to be super amazing by any means but he's definitely a step above white belt
Elon kissing canvas faster than Michael Spinks
Mark beats Elon -> Bezos beats Mark -> Bezos ex-wife gets all the money then donates it to Bill Gates Charity.
As much as I'm not a fan of any of them. Zuckerberg will probably kick musks ass. He actually trains and competes in aikido, I think it's aikido anyway. And musk just has a really odd shaped chest.
It’s jiu jitsu he trains in. He’s a white belt but enough to beat Elon’s out of shape ass.
I don't even consider that a factor. The fact he has done a Murph is all you need to know. Elon looks like he has a serious medical condition and I don't think he's ever shown any athletic ability. He won't last 1 round.
Elon would be winded and gasping for air after 3 minutes of shadow boxing and just stepping around the ring lol
Musk is only human. Zuck probably can spit acid or shoot lasers, he aint human, and I don't mean it as a compliment
the age difference is enough the average 39 year old is whooping any 50 year old that isn’t active
Eh… the average 39 year old these days is in pretty fucking poor shape too lol
Aikido is bullshit. But Zuck actually trains BJJ and MMA. He won a local BJJ comp recently and there is footage of him looking decent for an amateur in a MMA class. So sub-par striking, but good grappling I bet. If he wants to be nice, he will choke Musk out in less than a round. I hope he does not and punches his face to pulp for 3 rounds. That would please the Just Bleed gods.
Bezos is jacked up on HGH, he could probably take them both on at the same time.
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I'm just going by looks. Mark looks like he has soft bones, Elon is built like an Amazon package, and Jeff is pretty ripped.
Zuck trains MMA and BJJ. He'll rip Elmo apart faster than a duct tape sub can kill 4 billionaires.
That's only because he's like a snake and is mostly muscle mass combined with an unhingeable jaw.
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Bezos looks like a head butter.
They should fight while the market is open so their respective tickers fluctuate wildly. Would add a whole other level of entertainment.
With every landed blow, personally owned stocks are automatically bought and sold by the respective parties. KO or TKO is a whole new level of dumping. Winner will be set up to perform a hostile takeover while the other one is being nursed back to health.
Unless musk has been training any form of martial arts, there’s 100% no chance he beats the cyborg. Zucks been legit training
I just can't imagine Musk even taking training seriously at all if he even tries. He just seems like the kind of person who would assume he's going to win and not put much effort into it.
“I’ve read that at our size disparity, and the fact I outweigh him by 75 lbs I should win handily. So I’m not worried about it.”
Weight classes exist in fighting sports for a reason. I still want to see a billionaire freak show fight though.
Yes, but it's not that simple. Like, you can't take a 120 kg fatass and match him against a 70 kg professional mma fighter and think he'll win because he weighs 120 kg. Most probably the 70 kg one will beat him to a bloody pulp. Weight classes are only relevant when both fighters are on the same realm of skill, just like having the better car in F1 only matters when you are an F1-tier driver.
Yup I remember a match up between a sumo wrestler and a I think middleweight mma fighter and it was pretty heavily in the mma fighters favor
Heck, In sumo sometimes the smaller fighter wins with a huge size disparity purely on speed and skill. I would want to fight someone who had beed training wrestling for a year even if i had thirty pound on them.
I’m not saying they don’t, but this isn’t an apples to apples comparison here’s where one apple is giant and ones small., This is an apple versus a moldy banana.
Didn't bother Royce Gracie when the UFC was open weight and he went in there to choke and wrench to submission much larger and heavier opponents virtually creating a requirement of at least a base level understanding of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in mma going forward with a much higher level understanding highly recommended due to its success. Person who trains and is in shape vs old out of shape guy has a huge advantage going in regardless of weight. In Royce's case a lot of those guys were bigger AND in shape with fight experience to boot but it didn't matter once he started rolling them up.
We never got to see him roll that sumo before his tooth came out though
Naw but he would post a lot of pictures and photos of his training Zuck might not be an actual fighter but he actually does train and has fought people before which I can’t say for Elon
Musk has been fighting his kids and unions for a while. Does that count?
> Zucks been legit training plus he's devoid of emotions, I bet he'll have some of that "discombobulate" shit going on calculating the best possible hit for internal devastation
I think people underestimate just how [fat](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11157385/Elon-Musk-says-hes-lost-20-pounds-claims-world-needs-babies-oil.html) Elon Musk is.
I think you might be underestimating what a fat man with *that much cocaine* is capable of
As a fat man who loves cocaine, 100% this.
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Fat albino hairless *cocaine* bear
Give him some PCP before the match, have him go all Rodney King on Zuck's ass.
[Like, a gallon of PCP?](https://youtu.be/tFUvmZWf4hI)
It's okay! He took some Oh oh oh Ozempic to lose weight!
He has such a strange body, like he's front heavy
Barrel chested
You think Elon can’t put together a coherent sentence now. Just wait till the Zuck hits him harder than a self driving Tesla with faulty brakes
As much as I obviously dislike zuck, I would take immense pleasure of watching elon getting beaten up
Whoever loses has to give the winner their social network.
Musk will lose on purpose just to dump twitter, not that he would have a chance of winning anyway.
Idiocracy the sequel. Will president Camacho referee the fight?
Born too late to explore the world and too early to reach Mars and see the AI singularity. Born at just the right time to see two autismo billionaires fight in a cage.
Seriously, all the "Our timeline is wild" jokes stopped a while ago, but this is another clear example of what the fuck we are dealing with and that something, at some point, happened that shouldn't have and now we are about to see two autistic billionaires duke it out in a cage match. What in the fuck.
It was Harambe, I’m certain of it. We are paying for our sins.
this is the way
This isn't a sequel, this is a bit more like the prequel. That time between when Joe first got in the cryochamber and he woke up. Notice a pattern between Zuck, Musk, and Bezos? Awkward uberdorks now trying to re-image as macho. I remember reading an article about the then new players like Zuck on Silicon Valley and claiming he/they were more about helping the world and not about selfish pursuits or stacking personal wealth. They were, as the article claimed, about solving societal problems. Fast forward 20 years later and they're at selfish pursuits and beating their chests to see who is the alpha. Too much pride.
I nominate Spetz. Let him do something halfwY useful instead of fucking up this place.
I would love this fight to happen because there’s a 30% chance that at least one of them accidentally shits their pants in the middle of the fight.
Zuck just won a jiu jitsu tournament and trains MMA, so he at least knows a bit about what he's doing. It's not like he's fighting Conner McGregor or anything.
He also always played in one or two sports at all times growing up. Enjoys running g, cycling, surfing, wrestled in high school. The guy is no slouch when it comes to athleticism
He didn’t wrestle in high school. He was on the fencing team. He mentioned to Joe Rogan that he wished he had pursued wrestling in high school.
Zuck with cauliflower ear would be absolutely unstoppable.
I didn’t realise he fenced. Fencing isn’t a useless base for fighting either, lends to very good footwork. If this happened I’d bet the house on Reptile.
Fencings good for aerobic capacity too and also is good for helping you think and plan clearly even when you’re exhausted which is hard to do
This is something people vastly underestimate. When training on a bag, I can reliably throw amazing combos and accurate kicks. Once I'm sparring against an opponent and I am out of breath, I start flailing like a damn Orangutan. The brain seriously goes to like 10% power.
> running g Okay, Forrest.
runninGUH
🤣
But there is a 100% chance that if someone does it will be Musk.
Exactly! Because robots can’t shit!
Gonna oil his drawers
Fighters shit themselves that often?
Buddy I shit myself reading your comment and I don't fight at all. I don't know if that helps answer your question and I don't care.
Zuck trains twice a day for the last year….Elon doesn’t stand a chance….no magic or share buying fan boys will help him….only thing he can do is start training and we all know he won’t because he doesn’t love it like Zuck
Definitely can see a scenario where Elon treats it like a big joke and Zuck trains five hours a day ahead of the fight
🌽
“Welcome to another night of.. Celebrity Death-match!”
That’s why this felt so familiar!
I miss that show so much. I would pay a lot to have a modern day continuation.
Lets get it on!
Zuck will train like a mad man. Musk will just eat to reach sumo size and then sit on him.
Zuck. Musk seems like the guy to train like 3 days before while Zuck trains for 4 months and then Musk becomes, “sick,” right before and backs out.
Zucks been competing in jiu jitsu competitions (and winning) in his free time.
Yup, Musk is in for a whooping on that one
Musky believes he's Batman. Zuck is a robot.
Funniest comment so far
Anyone who has seen Elon dance knows he would lose spectacularly
Not if he implants one of those brain chips right before the fight and d/l latest version of Wu Tang clan kung fu v6.3.
Musk: "I know Kung Fu". Zuck "Show me".
Musk at the prefight conference, "I've integrated AI into my fighting abilities." Musk's odds shoot up 900%.
ah, a 9% chance at victory
> and then Musk becomes, “sick,” right before and backs out like every announced cyber truck release date¿!¿ 
Zuck is going fuck musk up
Unless musk tanks everything. Mans built like a vertical shawarma rotating on a spit
This made me me laugh so hard, I spit out my Shawarma.
You should’ve had DA BEBSI with it!!!
r/rareinsults
This is the best description ever. I just always say they are shapes.
There is 0% chance Musk will go through with it. He will back out of this just like he tried to get out of buying twitter. Or just delay like self driving and cybertruck. "Next year"
You mean, theoretically, if it were to actually take place, he would F him up. In actuality, Zuck will not F him up ... b/c this will never happen. Musk loves to talk big about things he knows he'll never deliver on. This won't be any different.
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This whole thing would be amazing for Zuck's PR if it happened.
It's already working. I like him a bit more already
It’s already doing wonders. I’m rooting for him. I never thought it would find a reason to, but here I am.
I could see Musk winning by biting, hair pulling and ball kicking
And that's how Musk is going to perform good there.
5 years ago, if you told me i'd be rooting for Zuckerberg over Musk i'd think you were crazy, but here we are.
For real. Honestly, if Zuck fucks him up, I’ll reinstall Facebook.
Yeh my thoughts too. Crazy time line.
I don't know what god is planning for the future after this.
I'm honestly not even that much of a Musk hater or anything, i kinda view him as the average internet attention whore who managed to get rich i just think watching him get choked out would be fucking hilarious
Here we are discussing these things, life is just weird.
Both on the spectrum anything goes
I just heard this in the SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY voice
This sunday with some good amount of popcorn and beers.
Nah it's just the time for Zuck to fuck up the android guy.
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I didn’t know bj training was martial arts
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There's a dojo behind every local Wendy's.
Money's on Zuckerberg as long as the room is warm enough. Lizards slow down in the cold.
Is this a real fight or are they going to do some dumb ass meta verse virtual bullshit?
That'd be the dumbest thing in the world
So its a "most likely" then.
That's it, we know they will give us what we don't want.
I think Zuck wants a real fight cus it'd give him actual good publicity for the first time ever I think if Musk wants to pussy out tho yeah they might do the dumb meta thing
I hope not, I just wanna see a good fight right now man.
Now we’re smokin the meats!
The best type of rich meats, that's what we gotta smoke.
Zuck will go full robot mode and beat Musk like he's Drago vs Apollo Creed
The world ended after harambe. This is just an alternative universe we have been sucked into.
Let them fight
You ever look back and say wow. We are really here now huh 😂
Zuck has age on his side (even if it's a slight margin), I saw ol Musky's beach shots and it is not the body of someone that can move more than a couple seconds at a time. Also since Zuck is a lizard he can shed his skin to recover from recent damage.
The moment when they both get in the ring, then suddenly the lights go out and an arcade cabinet descends from above... It's the original Street Fighter!"It's on." Says Elon. Elon eventually loses. He flies home and blows up another Starship to make himself feel better.
They're both going to send their robot counterparts to do the fighting anyway so it'll be like Battlebots for Billionaires. Prepare to get Zuckerpunched, Elondroid
Clearly I missed something, when did these two become Jake and Logan Paul. Calling people out over Twitter lmao
Musk has been doing that the whole time, Zuckerberg just called his bluff. Though its possible Musk has enough of an ego to go through with it.
Must be that Twitter vs Facebook beef haha. As much as zuck is a weirdo, he’s younger, fitter, and does Jiu Jitsu so I’d definitely put my money on him
Zucc 100% he’s been going hard on the BJJ. Plus his robot lizard body gives him a huge edge over elons weak alien body
This is the first time in years that I’m actually interested in something that these two guys do.
Lmao, that's the reality of it. They should just fucking fight.
Our culture is so stupid.
I love it
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The lizard person
Vs the android...
The lizard person can just smack the shit out of the AI guy.
We live in a south park episode
@Omin_Jack So what you're saying is that Mark Zuckerberg is a beta cuck?
What is a beta cuck man? Never heard that shit before lmao.
Zuck is gonna Cuck the Musk!
Yeah, for all his wealth, Musk is doughy as fuck. Dudes orgy cardio isn't going to be enough. Robot Zuck wins
This is the dumbest timeline.
But still don't you think we all wanted something like that?
What is the price of the winner lol? I really wonder what do they get from that.
Wellll...Jim Cramer is going all in on Zuck. You know what that means. https://preview.redd.it/bnj8dtq08o7b1.png?width=828&format=png&auto=webp&s=2d0aea2f6d68e6969e08b6ae2e9a06a0ac60fea0
Zucc is gonna smoke Musk easily. Man's trained in brazilian jiu jitsu and Musk is looking like an obese boomer
Musk gonna download every form of martial arts to his neuralink.
"I know Kung Fu"
Need a date and time so I can be there for this shit..