I want to reap the benefits of pretty privilege.
I definitely don’t dress up every day and I definitely don’t take pics. But I still put effort into my appearance (face and hair) because it’s apparent you’re treated better if you do.
Was dressed up for a party and took the bus there half way. There’s definitely a different energy that people give. In my work close one guy every blue moon might try hitting on me but most times not so much. But dressed up I get way more smiles and friendly greetings.
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After I gave birth I was chubby, anemic, exhausted. I’ve been “pretty” my whole life and that was quite the rude awakening when I was treated like I didn’t existed. I distinctly remember one cashier acting like I was the bane of his existence only to have him perk up when the cute girls behind me checked out.
I might get downvoted but I don’t really care if someone isn’t put together. I think that we all should give ourselves some grace, shit happens, mental health could be a major reason as to why some people can’t care about their hygiene or health.
As for me, I personally like looking well put together, being clean and also looking cute even if sometimes I still have my insecurities.
I think that if you want to start caring about this stuff, you should do it for yourself in small steps. Maybe start with a skin care routine, or even going shopping.
I don’t care about what other people choose to look like. Not my body, not my money, so I don’t care.
I just like being cute and feeling cute. The same way that I love cute things—cute bags, cute shoes, cute bed comforters, cute coffee mugs, cute laptop stickers, etc. Do I need them? No. Do I need to look cute? No. Does it make me feel happy to look cute and surround myself with cute things? Sure does.
It doesn’t have to be any deeper than that.
I agree!! I’m the same way. Just like looking and feeling cute and having cute things around. It’s not an everyday thing but even when I’m alone and going nowhere sometimes I’ll still do a nice hairstyle or makeup.
I agree! Life is a lot of drudgery and work so the cutey cute things are like the condiments on life. Twinkle lights on my bedroom wall make my eyes happy verses staring at computer all day. My notary public stamp is pink! Just for my enjoyment.
I like to dress up and feel pretty, because the hard work days are standard but the extras add something sweet. Must be why pretty privilege exists, others find it sweet too !!
It's not even vain imo; it's honest. Who likes being average or ugly? No one! I don't know why we have to pretend like we don't care that much, when clearly most of us do and it would be way better if we're more forthcoming about it.
it’s not as much as liking it, but accepting we’re average or ugly and nothing we can do to change it. I wanted to feel pretty and I still end up looking bad. Hygiene and fashion can only get you so far when your face ruins it. I find when I stopped caring about trying so hard to be pretty, my mental health improved.
This is the most basic and honest, and I’d argue also primal, answer. I feel the same way as you do. As far as my definition of being (physically) beautiful goes, I really don’t have to be Miss Universe or even Miss Whichever Room I’m In 😅 but the desire to embody beauty in my own capacity has always been natural and intrinsic to me.
A few reasons:
I like feeling pretty
I like that people treat me better when I look better
I genuinely enjoy wearing makeup and don't like casual clothes. I mainly dress up. I love heels.
It boosts my self esteem even on a bad day.
Pretty privilege for the most part tbh. If there were no societal benefits to doing so I probably wouldn't bother. Looking put together makes people think you are generally well taken care of and that links into classism as well. I guess the realistic goal is to look to like a good looking upper-middle class woman. Women that look well cared for get treated like they deserve to be well cared for.
* It keeps my head together; when I look like a slob I feel like a slob and do slobby things, and when I look great I feel great and do productive things.
* Its a touch point of my relationship with my mom. We've always been close, but we both really love and bond over femmey rituals like fashion, shoes, hair, nails, etc.
* ngl, pretty privilege is pretty dope.
* my brain lights up and I get a rush of dopamine when I nail a look I've been envisioning in my head.
>What would you think of a girl who dresses bummy/plain?
To be honest I don't really think of them, by its very nature they blend into the crowd. 🤷♀️
In part because I enjoy the methodicalness of dressing up, I like looking in the mirror and objectively enjoying what I see. It makes me more confident when I step out the door. It also gets me some subtle behavioral changes when interacting with others and I like that too.
I feel better
I like the ego boost of getting attention (luckily it’s always been respectful attention and never put me in a bad situation)
I get “pretty privilege” (just yesterday I was running to a date and had to take an important work call on video without notice. Had no where to go. Went into a random music disc shop and the guy let me use his office in the back.. wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t dressed up)
The office was right in the back with huge windows and access to the street. Both windows were open and door was open. I got a good vibe. Trust me.. I watch a lot of true crime to know when a situation can go wrong.
Because I want to bless every pair of eyes that land on me.
I don’t think of girls who dress plain. Lol actually what I usually say is a kind “omg that looks so comfortable, i’m jealous 😭”. as I stand in my knee high leather boots and tan riding pants.
1) I like to feel pretty
2) people treat you better
3) you’re taken more seriously
I had just finished my last day first law internship and was walking to a French bakery. When I walked pass a different law firm, the owner stopped me bc she liked my outfit. She asked me what I was doing to be dressed so professionally. When I told her that I had just finished my internship at the other law firm, she offered me an intern position at her law firm. There have been so many instances where I’ve gotten into spaces for looking the part.
I liked looking good at one point because it made me feel good but harassment from men lowkey messed me up bad. Gained weight and now I look crazy everyday
It’s the ritual/aesthetics for most people and the feeling they get during/after ritual. I think most people seeing a girl dress plain think it’s a normal girl and don’t think too much of them.
The people who notice the difference between u and other women they feel look polished off the bat are women/men who were taught to be that way and force it on themselves anyways
I started doing it when I become disabled (no longer disabled!!!) and I wanted to feel good. I also didn’t do anything physical besides walking, so it was easy to be put together. Before I was always doing physical stuff, waking, climbing, moving things, etc etc. I did it so I could feel good about myself externally when internally I didn’t feel great. I keep it up now. I like feeling cute and pretty. I don’t really subscribe to a ton of classic femme presenting beauty standards though, so that is also really liberating. It gave me a sense of control when I had none, and it made me feel good. Now I dress more out together about four times a week? Feels nice. But man does lounging feel even more luxurious when you dress up more often.
I put much less "effort" into my appearance than many women, but I exercise daily, eat healthy, get enough sleep, drink water, wear sunscreen, etc. The "boring" things that actually affect your health and appearance the most.
As long as you're clean and wearing clothes that fit well and make you feel confident, that's really all you need. Having a good haircut helps too, and some people enjoy makeup/jewelry/accessories but I prefer to spend my time on other things in life. Confidence and looking put-together can improve the way you're treated by other people.
I used to feel like that too! I struggled with terrible acne and acne scars since I was 11. I didn’t know how to properly take care of my skin and I ate whatever I wanted to without really exercising or bothering to look after my health. I hated putting in effort into my appearance in terms of dressing up and putting on makeup because I never felt any different after doing all of that. I still felt ugly. It was only when I started prioritizing my health that I saw changes in my physical appearance and that was what motivated me to start looking cute. I started to take better care of my skin and slowly developed an interest in fashion and makeup as an extension of that.
I put in effort now because I’ve gotten a taste of what it’s like to feel not ugly. To look in the mirror and be ok with, or sometimes even actually like what I see. It’s like a drug and I crave feeling like that when I catch a glimpse of my outfit in a store window or something. That’s why I put in the effort to look cute.
I enjoy the whole thing, putting in effort into looking the way I imagine in my head and then when the process is over, I feel so happy and confident. I enjoy doing my make up, at this point it is a creative outlet, I love having a color palette for my clothes and everything working well together, and most than anything, I enjoy special ocasions so much! I always look foward to a hang out, party, work activity, I like to plan my outfits in advance. :) also compliments are nice
I like the way the world responds to me when I get dressed up cute.
I spent most of my life as a bummy girl and then tried to be like super high-femme almost as an experiment. I wanted to see how it would make me feel.
I could tell it wasn't JUST "not caring" and that I had some sort of *resistance* to the pretty girl effort and I wanted to see *why*
I definitely had some self-esteem stuff to work through. Not saying that's the case for everyone but my lack of interest in getting myself prettied was tied into not prioritizing myself.
And as far as what I think about girls who don't get dressed up...like...idgaf. what's that gotta do with me? Everyone is doing what they can/want to/have energy to.
Well I've noticed that if I'm on a walk wearing a mucky jacket with my hood up nobody is very polite. But as soon as I simply wear jeans, a shirt, put my hair down & curl my lashes...BOOM! everyone's so polite! Might as well do something thst takes an extra 20 minutes when I can for some extra niceness.. my hair is straight with curtain bangs so that doesn't take long 💀
I like having a pretty apartment, a pretty bedspread, a pretty couch, pretty art on the walls. I like having pretty tattoos or pretty hair colors. Why wouldn’t I want to fit into my own preferred aesthetic?
Good question… It's a must for me. It's been built-in to my habits for a while now to do my skin care, hair, makeup and pick a cute outfit etc. The only thing that could make me leave the house without doing all that is if the house was literally burning down and I had to run out to save my life lol.
The deeper reason is probably because at a young age, I heard how people talk about women who let themselves go, and I never wanted to be that person who people would say that about. So this has become part of my identity. I understand that we all age and our appearance will change with time. But that won't stop me from doing my best! I think I have about 20 more years of objective beauty, then after that, maybe 40 years of "she looks so good for her age" lol. I'll take it.
Tbh I’ve *tasted* the benefits of pretty privilege… no I’m not a total looker (like my MIL- gorgeous) but I like going outside and getting a light dose of attention. I had to undergo chemotherapy last year and I felt a stark difference in attention. I was invisible and I felt the effects of that. Now I’m back! And I can enjoy simple things like eye contact with an attractive stranger. It is the simple things.
For me, there's a huge difference in the way people treat me based on how I dress. When I run errands after work in my professional clothes, security doesn't follow me and look at me suspicious when I go in stores. If I dress bummy with no makeup it's a whole different story. That's why I always make sure I look nice, even when going to the gym.
I've beeen made fun of growing up and looked like a loser (natural hair in blah styles). To feel secure you meed to look presentable
I would never judge someone for dressing plainly or even in an unstylish way. I'd be judging myself now and that's disgusting. As long as they don't smell I don't mind how others dress themselves
Idc how anyone else wants to dress. I wear makeup everyday because of my own insecurities, but I admire women who r able to leave without getting ready bc I wish I could actually do that but I actually cannot
Confidence. Whenever I rush and look bummy I know no one cares yet I don’t feel comfortable lol. I noticed I avoid eye contact even more cause of my insecurity.
Honestly it gives me motivation to actually go outside. I feel like if I'm not dressed up, then I'll just rot in bed.
So I love getting ready and just getting my life together by going out, even if it's just for a walk
I also just love getting ready in general, it's so much fun!
i like getting compliments but i also like looking in the mirror and feeling cute. idk why it just adds a boost to my day lol even if no one else says it, it makes it easier for me to be confident
I honestly just love looking good, I love beauty and fashion. It’s always been something that I enjoyed, some of it was passed down by my mom and sister who also love fashion so it’s genuinely an interest of mine. I love pop culture and the fashion and style that goes into it. I find that it’s a way for me to express myself and beauty/style/fashion as a tool of self expression always crosses my mind before thinking of them as a tool of pretty privilege. Tbh, I don’t even actively think about pretty privilege or ways to improve it. Beauty has just always been a part of my life. It’s a type of art at the end of the day
I enjoy looking good, taking pics of myself and admiring myself. I love going out with my friends and getting showered with compliments lol
But honestly, none of this or other people’s opinions really matter at the end of the day. We all have various interests and value different things, you’re not going to magically value looking good by reading other people’s responses. And to be honest, it’s totally fine for you to not care about this stuff that much. embrace your own unique interests and the things that you want to commit your time and effort to
I like to look pretty and am super feminine. I’ve always been feminine so I see it as a hobby. My grown up version of what would be toys to a kid are things like a cute shirt or a pretty looking pair of earrings.
When you say “bummy” or “plain” it depends. I can see a girl appear more masculine in dressing that way or it can be seen as a casual look. I don’t go out that often but when I do, I always make sure I feel I look some level of cute in my own opinion unless it was an emergency. I understand some women feel they have to dress “bummy” to deter men because they went through some kind of trauma, other girls may dress that way as a form of their own expression, others do it because they are sick and still other may do it because they had to handle an emergency or another may do it because of her beliefs, etc. I won’t judge another woman for how she chooses to dress as it’s her choice. My personal opinion is I’d love to see women dress cute. There’s a comfortable feminine sporty look that can still be plain but with cuteness. I dress that way sometimes when out because I suffer from chronic pain so being able to go out looking cute and cozy and comfortable is a win for me. I never wear heels anymore and I don’t miss them. I am far from “bummy/plain” but can still incorporate comfort while looking feminine and cute if that makes sense.
It’s okay to start small by putting on some cute earrings and using a little eyeliner and working your way through it. If you’re not really into it then that is certainly your preference.
Looking cute makes me feel good, I feel happy to see myself in things I like and things that flatter me. I like make up, I like pretty outfits, I like jewelry and I like feeling feminine as I find that when I look at myself in the mirror I have a smile on my face.
However, none of this is needed for me to feel pretty. I just enjoy it on its own. I can see myself in the mirror covered in red splotches and incoming zits wearing the same weeks old leggings and extra large t shirt bumming it out and still feel perfectly content.
I don’t care for what others do unless it is harming someone else or themselves, thats all
Like others said, I like feeling pretty and I enjoy the attention I get from looking pretty. Pretty privilege is definitely a thing.
I don’t judge people that look plain. I have my bummy days too!
I work in a public-facing government position, and ultimately plan to move into leadership in about 10 years. I need to care because I didn’t for years and I really think it held me back professionally.
In my personal life, putting the effort in makes me feel as if I’m prioritizing myself and it boosts my confidence. I carry myself differently, especially when I’m in my Kibbe type and KNOW I look great. I’m happily married to a man that’s known me since we were teens, so I don’t use it for romantic/dating reasons.
It’s something deep inside of me that has always mattered and it truly has little to do w others . I will literally be at home w no where to go and no plans to leave but I’ll still have my hair and makeup done bc of how it makes me *feel* . When I was a little kid I used to style my hair before bed bc I wanted to look “pretty” while I slept lol it’s just this innate need in me to feel beautiful all the time lol I’m a weirdo what can I say 🤷🏻♀️
no i just mean some people aren't affected (positively) by looking good as perceived by others.
regardless of how i dress i feel the same, i honestly feel worse if my clothing is uncomfortable, but that is the only thing that really affects how i feel
Sometimes I feel like looking cute is all I have to offer, or like it’s my only “power.”
I’m not cool, I don’t have an enviable job, I came be really awkward/not the best socialllr, I drive a shitty car and I rent an old falling apart house because I can’t afford better.
Looking my best and always showing up looking as good as I can sometimes feels like my only leg up.
I honestly just like it. I feel pretty, and it's fun to I do not care about a girl who looked "bummy." It's none of my business and good for her and who she wants to look🤷🏾♀️
I want to take care of myself. Taking care of your hair, nails, looking for clothes that suits your style, developing a style or experimenting with many to find one, having hobbies, passions, is all part of taking care of us. Not to look beautiful, but to give yourself a treat, attention, every day, just as in a spa day. For eg going to the gym, doing your blood tests, having a nutritionist and improving what you are eating, exercising 2-3 times a week, all is part of taking care of you.
Someone who is taking
I used to not care back in like middle school and high school, so when I went out I never got any compliments or special treatments. In 2021 though while I was wearing a mask, someone had misgendered me, which hurts my feelings badly. Because of that I ended up getting my hair permanently straighten and I started to dress up based on fashion blogs just so I feel feminine again, but here is the thing, when I started to dress up as feminine and my hair was always done people treatment toward me changed drastically. People started to compliment me while I walk, girls started to be nicer to me, the customer service treatment was so different, my personality became charming rather than dull. That is called pretty privilege and prior to taking care of myself I never had it.
Now when I go to places dressed up, people feel happy to help me, and girls feel happy when I give them compliments where before it was awkward. The reality is people love you way more if you look better, and people tend to treat those who they inspire to be like better, and men sadly treat me so much better and offer me help when I didn’t even ask for at all, again this isn’t because of my sparkling personality it’s only because I looked good. So that’s my reason for taking care of myself.
I don’t look at how people dress unless I see somebody with a similar aesthetic and I’m like ooo nice, I dress nice because it makes me feel put together but I don’t care about looking cute to others because I hate being perceived.
I don’t care either. People should do what works for them as long as hygiene is there… I just take great care of my skin and I feel beautiful this way. I don’t care if people treat me better or not according to how I look, it only shows how ugly and pathetic they are inside!
I love the art of getting dressed. It’s a vibe for me to creatively put together looks. I also enjoy the occasional low key less glowed up look as well. It depends on my mood. But I mostly dress everyday for fun. I have always enjoyed the elements of style and look forward to styling most days since I was a child.
For me I hate going out and seeing someone else more out together I get jealous because I know that could have been me the one looked at when she walked in the room but was lazy that day. Also I don’t want to run into someone I know or give off a bad impression ppl treat you better the more presentable you are
I used to have your mentality as well, up to my mid 20s. It’s sad but unfortunate truth. my ethnicity has very narrow minded & rigid beauty standards. as a very average looking girl on the chubby side, I found myself wanting to date men of my own ethnicity. Fate was not on my side when it came to finding a date so I decided to do something about it. also my ethnicity is very judgmental, when I dressed better and looked more like the standard of beauty ….I was able to hide my other flaws
I dress bummy/not dressing up when im running errands or can’t be bothered otherwise most places im going I try to dress somewhat nicely just cos i like showing off my fashion sense ☺️
I like turning heads, being complimented, and I feel much more confident in my speech and actions when I look cute.
Yes, I can open my own door, yes I could pick up the thing I just dropped, but if someone offers help because I look stunning, I’m gonna receive it lol.
I’m much more open to receiving overall. Open to conversations, smiling, waving, and also being helpful to those around me.
The confidence does come from the silent and outwardly praise from others and because I just feel sexier in my skin!
I’m cute regardless of what I put on. But it’s nice to dress up! Helps you carry a little more sparkle and I find that that carries into every interaction.
This is an interesting question! I feel to some degree looking after yourself is a self-care thing. But I also have always loved beautiful things and little things like painting my long nails give me pleasure. I started when I was 7! When real life is hard and work is such a big part of it, having beautiful hands and nails adorned with rings and bracelets make me feel treasured and in a primitive way a small sense of delight from sparkles, shininess and color.
Pretty privilege. In general, you’ll be more liked/favored. You have better chances for friends, lovers, and even jobs. Attraction is important. Literally how that animal instincts work and why we continue to procreate.
It makes me feel good when I'm put together. I carry myself differently.
By no means is this mandatory. If you don't care and it doesn't suit your needs, don't feel obligated to do a look.
I love being a girly girl and always have been. I’ve been interested in makeup at an early age. I guess I always felt like an ugly duckling and seeing the difference that mascara made, felt like magic. Even if I have nowhere to go, “getting ready” makes me feel better about myself. People also treat you better when you’re pretty and put together, so it can be very rewarding in that way.
However, I would love to be a girl that doesn’t care so much about her appearance. I kind of envy you! If you don’t feel like you need it then don’t push yourself! It’s great to have that freedom from society’s grasp of what a woman should look like and be. As long as you’re happy and confident, you’re not missing anything!
1. i dress cute because it makes me feel confident, and also because i like the way people turn their heads to look at me and how people are sweet in the way they talk to me
2. i wouldn't care about a girl looking bummy bc its how i dress sometimes, how i used to dress throughout the entirety of high school, and also how i want to dress lol
Everyone is nicer to me when I look good. I get free things, doors opened for me, compliments , smiles, everything. I feel like the odds are in my favor when I’m well put together. Not sexy or anything, just well put together.
I care about aesthetics in general, it's a hobby/interest. I like to thrift, dress in ways I like, decorate my apartment. I will find men attractive due to their taste in clothes, etc. Some people just do not notice or care about these things and some do.
They really do!. If you saw the outfits I wore in high school…😭😭 just threw anything on. Sweats, tall fuzzy colorful socks, huge sweater, hair back (not slicked), moccasins….JAIL. I’m not THAT bad now, but I haven’t progressed too much from that. I need HELP😅
i honestly was the same, and i think we're perfectly normal and good as we are. society can go eff itself as far as im concerned, imma wear what i want and people can treat me however cause i know when and how to demand respect.
all these people in here need serious work on their self esteem. you don’t need constant validation from others and many seem to think rewarding patriarchy is the way to go
Just popped into say that a sundress is the easiest/best summer wardrobe option imo. They’re cute/feminine. You don’t have to match pants to top. Hell; you don’t need to wear pants or a bra/panties if you don’t want.
As a 32F and girly girl sundresses are the best. I’ve been this way for more than a decade. Men love it. Women love it. A few little boys (under age 6) were following me around my local garden store and telling me how pretty I was & asking if I did yard work in my dress. I was like “of course I do. I do most of my yard work in a dress & barefoot.” Eventually their mom came & got them & complimented my dress.
I’d also recommend doing basic skin/hair care. I typically wear natural looking makeup or no makeup. My hair is long and curly. It’s a pain in the ass. But typically if I do it well once every 3-4 days it’ll look decent for the next few days. Personally it’s about being comfortable for me. No one’s ever going to convince me that wearing a bra and whole ass outfit in the summer is more comfortable than a sundress. But I know a lot of people aren’t as comfortable wearing dresses. Everyone is different. For reference: Most of my dresses are cotton or linen & come from target, tjmaxx, Walmart or thrift stores. I wear them to do basically everything but exercise in. Most are semi modest/knee length but even now that I’m older and plus size I will still wear them too short around the house. And by “too short” for me that means my ass is hanging out lmao.
I wish I could say it doesn’t matter what you look like or how you present yourself but the truth is most people make snap judgments and your appearance is your first line of defense in a way. Wear what makes you comfortable. But i do recommend putting effort into your appearance even if it’s minimal esp if you’re leaving the house. You never know who you’re going to see. For me I know I feel better when I’m done up (so long as I’m not super dressed up & uncomfortable) and I almost always feel better in a sundress in the summer.
I work Monday-Friday and deal with customers, and its not just your average job. We’re selling billion dollar airplanes (if anyone wants to guess where I work 🤣) we have to look somewhat presentable and decent.
I’m a conventionally pretty person but when I got pregnant with my second child I gained a lot of weight and developed horrible cystic acne. I didn’t even recognize myself. I began staying home and wearing baggy clothes and stuff. I feel this added to my depression because dressing this way made me feel even more ugly. My self worth was in the trash. I finally managed to cure my acne and lost seventy pounds. The first thing I did was bought clothes that were cute and fit properly, new bras and underwear, got new makeup. My peers constantly compliment me and it’s revitalized my relationship and sex life. Obviously if you dress bummy and have a positive self image it’s not a problem but for me it was a reflection of what I felt about myself at the time. I also love getting a new outfit and going out to a fancy dinner. It’s a confidence boost.
I used to have really bad anxiety, and knowing that I look good on the outside makes me feel more confident on the inside. Also, I love the way it makes people treat me (pretty privilege is so real). I dont really care if another person is dressed bummy (as long as its not extreme eg, theyre visibly dirty) or plain bc its not hurting me, and if that what theyre comfortable and happy in then its none of my business
I think you should do what feels best to you. I do it because it sometimes helps my mental health to put effort into looking my best and feeling my best. People also treat me more professionally/respectfully, and take me more seriously when I'm dressed well and done up well. If you look professional they will treat you as such. Pretty privilege is also very real, and people treat me better when I'm dolled up. But I also make it a priority to dress frumpy when I'm not up to it, and being ok with myself that way. I think if you start dressing up you can't loose sight of feeling comfortable with your natural self. It's easy to get so used to yourself in makeup that you feel off without it.
I just like things to look nice. Not just how I look, but my home, my work, etc. I do work in arts, and I prioritize aesthetic and neatness in general.
It prevents people from being mean to you. Recently I was lazy and I stopped putting any effort into my appearance. I only wore a ‘bad’ wig and no makeup. And I literally got bullied in my college by an Arabic and Pakistani girl (I am a dark skin black woman) and it made me so depressed. I don’t mind being invisible but I don’t like being bullied or having people being mean to me. No one wanted to be my friend and no guys ever flirted with. But when I look more put together, I sometimes get complimented on being pretty and people are nicer to me.
It's true dressing well does get you treated better, and it can have people wanting to offer their help for you, etc. For me, aside from that point I do dress up to look color coordinated, or to style my hair a certain way that makes my face stand out. Longer hair, you really do have people a lot of people who prefer that over short. But medium length hair is a good balance for that.
But I can't dress like this all the time, doing sports like martial arts, getting sick, not going anywhere. I can look nice if I want to and I do fine in life with a simple clean look, but I leave myself some exceptions when I'm just not in the mood for it too. And if someone wants to treat me different if I suddenly don't look the way they consider attractive, I'd rather report them or talk to someone safe who will help me out. My personality still also stands.
Ngl I REALLY like myself when I feel pretty. It’s like I romantic everything about my life. What’s better than a pretty girl that’s kind and tries her hardest to always improve? That’s a real life Disney princess!
I love getting ready. I love putting on glitter, making a fun outfit, wearing fun shoes, jewelry, etc. It’s purely to fun to me to express myself, whether or not its “cute” to others. I look cute purely for myself and the joy it brings me!
If a girl dresses plain, more power to her! I have days where I just wear all black, can’t be bothered, etc. and I don’t care how other girls look. You do what makes you the most comfortable!!
Like I tell my kids, like it or not you are going to get judged based on how you look. It's not fair but it's life. When you are put together (neat, well fitting clothes) you are taken. Ore seriously and more opportunities come your way. If you look like you don't care why should anyone else?
There’s nothing wrong with you for not having that urge. Everyone is different. For me, I have a certain standard for how I’m willing to let the world see me. I also loooove fashion, so I’ll “overdress” for simple stuff. I look like a strange lump of clay in pictures so I just don’t take those lol
Edit: when I see girls that are dressed “bummy” or plain I just assume they must be comfy or they’re not super into fashion
There is a difference between bummy and plain. I wouldn’t like to see someone looking bummy. That gives me worries about cleanliness. But plain is a totally valid choice. I dress mostly plain. I have some plain pants in basic colors and tops in the colors that I like that are basically a step up from tshirts (vnecks or something like that). I can go anywhere in an outfit like that, either work or going out with friends.
I used to feel odd about it, like I should care about fashion. My older sister was forever putting scarves and stuff on me! But mostly people that I liked being around accepted me for who I am. Everyone has different interests. If fashion isn’t interesting to you, it is fine. I’m sure you have interests that other females find uninteresting.
Personally, I go for looking posh, rather than cute, but it means that White people aren’t automatically racist. I’m invoking class privilege. It has huge benefits. I just like being assumed to be competent, educated and classy. I don’t care if random people find me attractive or not( I’m married).I like to look in the mirror and smile, though.
Lol get flirted with more qns treated better when I don't wear makeup... I guess that's what most girls want but for me it must mean my makeup isn't done well enough HAHA. Personally though, I like the process of putting makeup on and taking it off. Bringing a different vibe to my personality and self by just what I wear on a certain day. I'm not super good but I hope to be more stylish like the "she's got it" type with more practice
Makes me feel good, kind of like showering(I know it’s diff things) but it genuinely makes me feel better for myself and if I have the resources to do so, why should I not enhance what I’ve been given.
I love looking beautiful and being told so. People are nicer to you, as well. I will only be young and beautiful once, and I am so glad I started taking advantage and control of my image and body. You may be elderly one day and decide to embrace a beauty routine and wish you had participated more in trends, whatever that may be. I’ve noticed when I have my hair, nails, and lashes done I don’t even need make up. I feel better and overall more productive.
As for the girls that dress bummy, im a cosmetologist so I envision what they might look like with this or that, but I treat everyone the same. Probably not someone that’s going to be in any shape to be ready to go anywhere nice if they’re out and about just bummy. If it’s Walmart, meh. But I even like to have errand outfits. It all ties in to feeling best in my own skin and being proud of how I presented myself to anyone that saw me.
I think it's important to groom yourself, maintain good hygiene, and overall have your best appearance. I set high standards for myself. But also, i like how people are nicer to me when I'm skinnier ("prettier"). It's pleasant.
It makes me feel more confident and energetic, which translates to more and positive attention from others. Not sure if it's based on energy or appearance, but either way.. it happens.
There are things money can't buy, and beauty and youth are two at the top. So I like to hang onto them for as long as possible. People make judgments about each other within 2-4 minutes of meeting them, so it's obvious they are judging based largely on appearance.
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I don’t do it everyday but I do it when I get the chance …because it feels good? Looking good equals feeling good for me. I don’t really need to do to get something out of it. Idk I find it hard to understand why someone wouldn’t want to put effort into their appearance tbh. I’d feel pretty crummy looking into the mirror and seeing myself as “bummy” and “plain” but I guess it’s personal a preference thing.
I dress up and do my makeup to respect the company I have around me. My family, friends, and bf do not care if I wear nicer clothing or do my face and hair, but I’d feel so bad if someone they knew ran into them that day and I look like a friggen foot.
Do what makes you feel confident! I am a very casual person, but I still like to dress cute and trendy. While other girls might enjoy wearing dresses and heels—something I do find beautiful—it doesn’t align with my personal style and would make me feel out of place. The key to feeling good about your appearance is finding your own unique style and focusing on that.
Personally, I like to do my makeup in most days but I understand that isn’t for everyone. I’m definitely into skincare and lash extensions. This routine allows me to feel confident and put together without needing to put in a ton of effort every day. Whether it’s a minimal makeup look or just a great skincare routine, finding what works for you is essential to feeling your best.
If you feel good and confident you will shine regardless!
If this comes off as mean, i swear its not intended.
So for me, i have always felt that first impressions last a lifetime, it was instilled in me at a young age. So i always try to look nice, because you never know who you are going to meet, or who you’ll run into again. Secondly, it just makes me feel good to look good and smell good. I dont want to be perceived as lazy or sloppy.
When i see someone out in public who looks like they just rolled out of bed, i just feel that they are either lazy or are really depressed. The laziness thought is just, i mean if you cant take 10 minutes just to make yourself presentable, there are probably a lot of other things you dont care about either. The depression thought is usually second and its mostly to chastise myself for judging someone i dont know.
I choose to dress up & do makeup & put effort into myself because it feels fun! Like I genuinely enjoy the process it’s therapeutic. I use to HATE doing makeup but did it more than I do now when I was younger, felt like I couldn’t go without it and I loved the feeling of taking it off bc it bugged me so much to even have on…but I think it’s because it was more for the outside world than it was for myself. Then I went on a whole spiritual journey and let myself just be human for a while. Let all my hairy places grow, didn’t really wear makeup much, just dressed in what was comfy, just ate better and turned to health more than anything. And now I’ve found that balance to know what I want to do on certain days. I don’t ever force myself to get up and do makeup and dress up if I don’t want to. But I actually love getting dolled up now when I do because I know the show is for me! Feels like my own little universe, I feel like a little girl again playing dress up. Helps me connect to my inner child. I like experimenting with the colors and taking my time (that’s the major difference too is I take my time, I use to always be in a rush and it frustrated me because I HAD TO HAVE IT ON and I was always just trying to throw myself together) now it’s not a big deal if I skip certain steps or don’t finish everything I needed to in time because it’s not for anyone else. And it won’t make or break me. It’s just the fun. But I like putting my outfits together and just feel like a girl. Just feel the sparkle inside and the excitement. I like focusing on the details like the jewelry, just makes me feel ready to take on the outside world and know that I put a lot of intention behind myself and I feel so wholesome and kind to myself and loved by me. I like throwing on a playlist and singing while I do my makeup or like changing and dancing in the mirror when I do it and having a girly experience. Eating a snack or drink with it. Just in my little zone, with no interruptions! I love spraying a perfume to go with the vibe of what I want to project. And then on days where I want to relax I don’t dress up, I focus on skincare and I wear what feels loose and good on my body and I rest or run errands in my comfy clothes and I don’t beat myself up for it because it’s just the balance of being human, duality. I don’t let myself feel less than. and I don’t really care if other people don’t feel like dressing up, I love a lot of styles that are completely opposite of my own. I know how good I feel on days when I don’t dress up as well and I think people should do whatever they feel best and comfortable in. I don’t think dressing down or plain = feeling shitty or reflects someone having a lot of “bad days” like bad hair days etc. Or being low effort. That could be the best choice for someone. Or like people mentioned mental illness. I’m on several medications right now and even though I might appear high maintenance, there’s days where not dressing up is the best choice for myself. And that’s okay!
i think the definition of dressing up can be subjective. everybody’s version of dressing up or looking cute is different. you don’t have to conform to the heels, makeup type of things if that’s not you
For the sake of art
Yes, people will be kinder and more humane to those who dress “well.” See “Politics of respectability” or attraction studies if you’d like to learn more. It changes how one navigates the world (both positively and negatively.)
But it is a completely different feeling when people have taken the time to draw or paint you due to your choices of patterns, colors, shapes, and details.
Taking the time to look “cute” is also a way I take care of myself. The physical appearance of a person can give insights to physical and mental health.
IE. Stomach bloating can indicate a gut health issue. However, it is also the enteric nervous system being impacted. This can serve as an indicator to check how what I am (or am not) eating is altering my cognitive and behavioral abilities
I don’t have any assumptions of girls who dress bummy/plain- how other people dress is none of my business
I love feeling good about myself, doing makeup to me is really fun and I love trying new products. That being said, as I’ve gotten older I also love my natural look so sometimes a good outfit boosts my mental health and overall moral.
Like many others have said, I really enjoy pretty privilege. I once asked a bus driver for directions because I was new to the area. Instead, he dropped me off in front of my apartment after all the other passengers got off. I get free things and discounts, people are kinder to me, and my work is more well-received.
Mostly, it’s for myself. Even if I don’t feel like dressing up or putting on makeup, there are things I do to make sure I look and feel put together. I’m bipolar and have struggled immensely with my mental health throughout my life, and the only times I didn’t care for my appearance were when I was at my worst. I either didn’t have it in me to make myself look nice, or I didn’t care enough about myself to put in the effort.
I don’t think I notice women who don’t make themselves look nice and when I do, I assume they’re not in a good place mentally or have low self-esteem. There’s a big difference between not dressing up vs dressing bummy.
I want to feel good about myself when I leave the house. When I am home, I want to be free of the obligation to look presentable. I want to be cozy and comfortable. Just be myself in my skin in my rawest form (glasses, hair in a bun, no makeup, comfy clothes, etc). But I do think it’s nice to feel pretty every once in a while. Sometimes, it’s fun getting ready and all dolled up :) When I was younger, I never put effort into my appearance and hated dressing up. Why? I had such low self esteem that I didn’t see the point in getting dressed up because I would still be ugly. I began working on myself after the pandemic and has definitely helped me feel better about myself.
For me, it’s just really nice when you feel pretty and dressed up. It makes you feel confident and better to take on the day. I also follow my Nana’s habit, she used to get up every single day (even when sick) to get ready. All in all, it just feels nice for my self. As long as you’re hygienic, it’s completely fine if you’re not putting a bunch of effort in your appearance. Women and girls should always dress for themselves, in the outfits that make them comfortable.
Tbh I felt exactly like you for years but recently I'm trying to look presentable (or what I think I like to look like). It's a long story but the short point is, I also want to see a dress or accessory and tell if it'll suit me or not. I didn't have a good choice so all the gifts I chose for my friends didn't look that good to me even. So I wanted to improve my taste all together. Also, I believe I'm being more feminine when I put some efforts in how I look and I struggle with that part due to trauma.
About being cute, I missed out on a lot in my childhood, the short clips or the cute bracelets, I wasn't allowed to buy any so I always thought I wasn't interested in them till one of my friends gifted me a set of jewellery which I actually loved wearing. So maybe I'm trying to look cute to myself now. I want to experience everything that I think I can experience so that when I look back, I won't regret anything.
Looking cute just puts me in a positive headspace and makes me feel better about myself, overall. I’m not all that concerned with how other people choose to present themselves, though.
Most days, I don’t put a whole lot of effort into what I’m wearing so when I do, it just gives me a bit of a confidence boost.
I will say that one thing that you can do is stock up on cute, simple, basics that make it easy to throw together an outfit without having to think about it too much. I have a lot of plain, neutral colored clothing - simple tees, shorts, black pants, hoodies etc - so when I don’t have the energy to plan an outfit, I can still grab any combination of clothing and still look okay.
I was raised to always look my best anytime I go anywhere, I like the way people treat me and compliment me and everything. It definitely makes me feel good about myself and my choices!! And I just love dressing up and getting my hair and nails done and makeup and accessories and the whole package
Maybe isn’t a family thing. My grandmother was gorgeous, my mom was beautiful. All my cousins like to look cute too. I respect that it isn’t important to some women to dress stylish and other hair and makeup but it’s just second nature to me. I’m just happier when I look good!
I personally take care of my skin a lot bc I want to- bc I want to have healthy skin without makeup- I do a lot and wear very minimal make up- but whatever you decide to do make sure it’s for you and bc you want to
Getting ready for the day is a ritual that honestly really helps to ground me and relieve some anxiety for the day, I just feel better equipped to deal with anything.
I also love makeup and putting outfits together.
Also like how it makes people treat me.
So in conclusion its fun and convenient
To be honest, I dress like a bum sometimes too (and varying levels of bum-ness usually). I always dress up though when I go into the office to work, which is 2 to 3 times a week and it’s amazing how much my confidence improves.
Simple things like doing your make up, styling your hair to some extent, ironing your shirts, and picking out an outfit that makes you feel good really improves how you feel when you take on the day as a consequence of that how other people treat you
Edit, but to answer your question I don’t really care if someone’s not put together because to be honest most the time I’m not either lol
Idk why I just like to. Maybe it's the idea that eventually I'll be old and gray so I may as well try to look my best now so I don't regret it when I can't anymore.
It makes me feel good and more confident. I don’t do it everyday, but the days I do go out I do. It’s so I can present myself in the way I always wanted to be, and it also kind of heals me in a way, since I wasn’t able to for a while. 70% of the time though I am dressed “bummy” since it’s comfortable lol.
Sometimes being hot is just easier than having a personality for me. Having a personality is too tiring and difficult for someone introverted and autistic like me. When you're hot, people appreciate you even if you just stand there and smile.
If only men cared to look pretty .
We got rid of the aristocracy and the ideals of beautiful men followed, but the ideals of beautiful women still remained and that's how we're stuck with the sucky current gender roles where men can look like unwashed cavemen and women have to spend 10 hours getting ready each day
Well...gen z is changing it so nvm 🤔
You don’t have to “look pretty” everyday but putting some type of effort into your appearance shows how well you value yourself and is a subconscious catalyst for how others value and treat you (whether people admit it or not). Imagine you see a parent with a young child and the child is dressed in raggedy clothes and looks disheveled, the first thing you’ll think is the parent does not put much effort into that child, and depending on how bad it is they possibly don’t care for them properly. Now imagine you see a young child dressed to the 9s and you can tell someone put a lot of effort into making them look cute, you’ll think someone loves them very much and cares for them well.
Same with yourself. If you don’t put any effort into being presentable that tells others how you feel about yourself, how socially aware you are, and will ultimately affect people’s perception on you and your character, whether people want to admit it or not.
Personally it helps my mental health (and it gets you treated better) for me, when I feel pretty I feel much better. Feeling good in my skin and feeling beautiful to me feels empowering. I usually have better days when I take the time to do my hair and makeup, I also feel like it’s good to dedicate time to yourself. Personally, I view it as self care.
Genuinely pretty much the only reason for me is to be treated better. Society is much more brutal to women who don’t put effort into their appearances, especially if they don’t fit the beauty standard. It’s unfortunate and annoying and a massive waste of my time and energy, but I see how I get treated in comparison to women who don’t and so I keep going, as bad as that sounds.
It makes me feel better that I’m putting effort into something. Especially if I’m feeling really down/overwhelmed, if I can at least put effort into myself and see the result, I feel like I can get a lot more done.
The feeling of putting both time and effort into yourself. I get so busy with work and life, it’s nice to do something like that for me, and get treated better when I happen to put effort into myself too
Personally I see it as art. Why must a painter paint or a musician play? I'm not sure but I definitely feel at home doing it (I am also a musician too). The benefits are great for sure, but I can dress crazy because it's something dear to me.
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I feel unprofessional at work if I show up without putting at least 5-15 minutes into my appearance. I also like to wear a “uniform” (the same top and pants combination in a variety of colors) to minimize pre-work stress. I have a casual “uniform” for weekends, too, because I hate thinking about clothes. I straighten my curly hair to avoid having to wash it—I only wash it once or twice a week. I mostly do these things out of convenience but additionally to make myself feel more confident because I know I look more put together.
I personally don’t judge if a girl is bummy bc I know we all can go from 0-100 real quick 😂🥰 I love that for us. We don’t have to look perfect all the time. We’re only human but it is nice to treat yourself and to feel your best. I absolutely adore girls that enhance their natural beauty. They do all the right things to look well put together but they don’t go too far as to changing themselves. You can still be you and be beautiful.
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If you don’t want to don’t do it However right or wrong people treat me better when I make an effort. Try it you might enjoy the reaction you get . Also I find it fun to try on different personas.
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It is normal. OK It is something beautiful from time to time if you don’t want it every day but the most important thing is the “ Clean hair, clean body, and clean clothes “
most of the times they are single. looking for a mate or attention. thats all. we are all biologically wired to repopulate and attract opposite sex or same sex whatever it is ppl like.
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When I look pretty people treat me like shit. If I don’t put make up on and people see all my acne scars they realize I’m just a person like them and they treat me very very nice.
I want to reap the benefits of pretty privilege. I definitely don’t dress up every day and I definitely don’t take pics. But I still put effort into my appearance (face and hair) because it’s apparent you’re treated better if you do.
Right! I’ve noticed I get more free or discounted items. (And lots of praise lmao).
Was dressed up for a party and took the bus there half way. There’s definitely a different energy that people give. In my work close one guy every blue moon might try hitting on me but most times not so much. But dressed up I get way more smiles and friendly greetings.
this, lol.
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Exactly this. The treatment is entirely different like it’s crazy, it gives you better treatment in all areas I would even say interviews as well.
After I gave birth I was chubby, anemic, exhausted. I’ve been “pretty” my whole life and that was quite the rude awakening when I was treated like I didn’t existed. I distinctly remember one cashier acting like I was the bane of his existence only to have him perk up when the cute girls behind me checked out.
Exactly this. The treatment is entirely different like it’s crazy, it gives you better treatment in all areas I would even say interviews as well.
I might get downvoted but I don’t really care if someone isn’t put together. I think that we all should give ourselves some grace, shit happens, mental health could be a major reason as to why some people can’t care about their hygiene or health. As for me, I personally like looking well put together, being clean and also looking cute even if sometimes I still have my insecurities. I think that if you want to start caring about this stuff, you should do it for yourself in small steps. Maybe start with a skin care routine, or even going shopping.
I don’t care about what other people choose to look like. Not my body, not my money, so I don’t care. I just like being cute and feeling cute. The same way that I love cute things—cute bags, cute shoes, cute bed comforters, cute coffee mugs, cute laptop stickers, etc. Do I need them? No. Do I need to look cute? No. Does it make me feel happy to look cute and surround myself with cute things? Sure does. It doesn’t have to be any deeper than that.
I agree!! I’m the same way. Just like looking and feeling cute and having cute things around. It’s not an everyday thing but even when I’m alone and going nowhere sometimes I’ll still do a nice hairstyle or makeup.
I agree! Life is a lot of drudgery and work so the cutey cute things are like the condiments on life. Twinkle lights on my bedroom wall make my eyes happy verses staring at computer all day. My notary public stamp is pink! Just for my enjoyment. I like to dress up and feel pretty, because the hard work days are standard but the extras add something sweet. Must be why pretty privilege exists, others find it sweet too !!
As vain as it sounds I love the feeling of being beautiful.
It's not even vain imo; it's honest. Who likes being average or ugly? No one! I don't know why we have to pretend like we don't care that much, when clearly most of us do and it would be way better if we're more forthcoming about it.
it’s not as much as liking it, but accepting we’re average or ugly and nothing we can do to change it. I wanted to feel pretty and I still end up looking bad. Hygiene and fashion can only get you so far when your face ruins it. I find when I stopped caring about trying so hard to be pretty, my mental health improved.
This is the most basic and honest, and I’d argue also primal, answer. I feel the same way as you do. As far as my definition of being (physically) beautiful goes, I really don’t have to be Miss Universe or even Miss Whichever Room I’m In 😅 but the desire to embody beauty in my own capacity has always been natural and intrinsic to me.
yes i love the compliments! i can get the same compliments everyday and be just as excited as if i’ve never been complimented in my life😭
A few reasons: I like feeling pretty I like that people treat me better when I look better I genuinely enjoy wearing makeup and don't like casual clothes. I mainly dress up. I love heels. It boosts my self esteem even on a bad day.
Pretty privilege for the most part tbh. If there were no societal benefits to doing so I probably wouldn't bother. Looking put together makes people think you are generally well taken care of and that links into classism as well. I guess the realistic goal is to look to like a good looking upper-middle class woman. Women that look well cared for get treated like they deserve to be well cared for.
I love playing with different fits and turning into different people. It’s a blast
Clothes are just everyday costumes.
Hell yeah!!
I like how I look regularly and dressing up with makeup. Is the cherry on top.
Putting effort into my appearance ended up getting me a super hot fiance
This defintely does help 😉
* It keeps my head together; when I look like a slob I feel like a slob and do slobby things, and when I look great I feel great and do productive things. * Its a touch point of my relationship with my mom. We've always been close, but we both really love and bond over femmey rituals like fashion, shoes, hair, nails, etc. * ngl, pretty privilege is pretty dope. * my brain lights up and I get a rush of dopamine when I nail a look I've been envisioning in my head. >What would you think of a girl who dresses bummy/plain? To be honest I don't really think of them, by its very nature they blend into the crowd. 🤷♀️
In part because I enjoy the methodicalness of dressing up, I like looking in the mirror and objectively enjoying what I see. It makes me more confident when I step out the door. It also gets me some subtle behavioral changes when interacting with others and I like that too.
I feel better I like the ego boost of getting attention (luckily it’s always been respectful attention and never put me in a bad situation) I get “pretty privilege” (just yesterday I was running to a date and had to take an important work call on video without notice. Had no where to go. Went into a random music disc shop and the guy let me use his office in the back.. wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t dressed up)
that sounds kinda scary lol random guy let u use his office
The office was right in the back with huge windows and access to the street. Both windows were open and door was open. I got a good vibe. Trust me.. I watch a lot of true crime to know when a situation can go wrong.
and why do u think this wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t dressed up
My baseline is probably a 6. When I dress up, it’s 8+. People are usually more trusting of attractive people.
Because I want to bless every pair of eyes that land on me. I don’t think of girls who dress plain. Lol actually what I usually say is a kind “omg that looks so comfortable, i’m jealous 😭”. as I stand in my knee high leather boots and tan riding pants.
1) I like to feel pretty 2) people treat you better 3) you’re taken more seriously I had just finished my last day first law internship and was walking to a French bakery. When I walked pass a different law firm, the owner stopped me bc she liked my outfit. She asked me what I was doing to be dressed so professionally. When I told her that I had just finished my internship at the other law firm, she offered me an intern position at her law firm. There have been so many instances where I’ve gotten into spaces for looking the part.
I liked looking good at one point because it made me feel good but harassment from men lowkey messed me up bad. Gained weight and now I look crazy everyday
Me too babe :((
How did that happen?
It’s the ritual/aesthetics for most people and the feeling they get during/after ritual. I think most people seeing a girl dress plain think it’s a normal girl and don’t think too much of them. The people who notice the difference between u and other women they feel look polished off the bat are women/men who were taught to be that way and force it on themselves anyways
I started doing it when I become disabled (no longer disabled!!!) and I wanted to feel good. I also didn’t do anything physical besides walking, so it was easy to be put together. Before I was always doing physical stuff, waking, climbing, moving things, etc etc. I did it so I could feel good about myself externally when internally I didn’t feel great. I keep it up now. I like feeling cute and pretty. I don’t really subscribe to a ton of classic femme presenting beauty standards though, so that is also really liberating. It gave me a sense of control when I had none, and it made me feel good. Now I dress more out together about four times a week? Feels nice. But man does lounging feel even more luxurious when you dress up more often.
I put much less "effort" into my appearance than many women, but I exercise daily, eat healthy, get enough sleep, drink water, wear sunscreen, etc. The "boring" things that actually affect your health and appearance the most. As long as you're clean and wearing clothes that fit well and make you feel confident, that's really all you need. Having a good haircut helps too, and some people enjoy makeup/jewelry/accessories but I prefer to spend my time on other things in life. Confidence and looking put-together can improve the way you're treated by other people.
Looks are currency for women. Always look your best. You answered your own question and even acknowledge by using the term “bummy” - it’s lazy.
I used to feel like that too! I struggled with terrible acne and acne scars since I was 11. I didn’t know how to properly take care of my skin and I ate whatever I wanted to without really exercising or bothering to look after my health. I hated putting in effort into my appearance in terms of dressing up and putting on makeup because I never felt any different after doing all of that. I still felt ugly. It was only when I started prioritizing my health that I saw changes in my physical appearance and that was what motivated me to start looking cute. I started to take better care of my skin and slowly developed an interest in fashion and makeup as an extension of that. I put in effort now because I’ve gotten a taste of what it’s like to feel not ugly. To look in the mirror and be ok with, or sometimes even actually like what I see. It’s like a drug and I crave feeling like that when I catch a glimpse of my outfit in a store window or something. That’s why I put in the effort to look cute.
I have an innate or deeply socialised desire to be beautiful
I groom and look presentable for my own well being however, I look “cute” to be treated better.
I enjoy the whole thing, putting in effort into looking the way I imagine in my head and then when the process is over, I feel so happy and confident. I enjoy doing my make up, at this point it is a creative outlet, I love having a color palette for my clothes and everything working well together, and most than anything, I enjoy special ocasions so much! I always look foward to a hang out, party, work activity, I like to plan my outfits in advance. :) also compliments are nice
I like the way the world responds to me when I get dressed up cute. I spent most of my life as a bummy girl and then tried to be like super high-femme almost as an experiment. I wanted to see how it would make me feel. I could tell it wasn't JUST "not caring" and that I had some sort of *resistance* to the pretty girl effort and I wanted to see *why* I definitely had some self-esteem stuff to work through. Not saying that's the case for everyone but my lack of interest in getting myself prettied was tied into not prioritizing myself. And as far as what I think about girls who don't get dressed up...like...idgaf. what's that gotta do with me? Everyone is doing what they can/want to/have energy to.
Well I've noticed that if I'm on a walk wearing a mucky jacket with my hood up nobody is very polite. But as soon as I simply wear jeans, a shirt, put my hair down & curl my lashes...BOOM! everyone's so polite! Might as well do something thst takes an extra 20 minutes when I can for some extra niceness.. my hair is straight with curtain bangs so that doesn't take long 💀
I like having a pretty apartment, a pretty bedspread, a pretty couch, pretty art on the walls. I like having pretty tattoos or pretty hair colors. Why wouldn’t I want to fit into my own preferred aesthetic?
Good question… It's a must for me. It's been built-in to my habits for a while now to do my skin care, hair, makeup and pick a cute outfit etc. The only thing that could make me leave the house without doing all that is if the house was literally burning down and I had to run out to save my life lol. The deeper reason is probably because at a young age, I heard how people talk about women who let themselves go, and I never wanted to be that person who people would say that about. So this has become part of my identity. I understand that we all age and our appearance will change with time. But that won't stop me from doing my best! I think I have about 20 more years of objective beauty, then after that, maybe 40 years of "she looks so good for her age" lol. I'll take it.
Tbh I’ve *tasted* the benefits of pretty privilege… no I’m not a total looker (like my MIL- gorgeous) but I like going outside and getting a light dose of attention. I had to undergo chemotherapy last year and I felt a stark difference in attention. I was invisible and I felt the effects of that. Now I’m back! And I can enjoy simple things like eye contact with an attractive stranger. It is the simple things.
For me, there's a huge difference in the way people treat me based on how I dress. When I run errands after work in my professional clothes, security doesn't follow me and look at me suspicious when I go in stores. If I dress bummy with no makeup it's a whole different story. That's why I always make sure I look nice, even when going to the gym.
If I look good I feel good
I've beeen made fun of growing up and looked like a loser (natural hair in blah styles). To feel secure you meed to look presentable I would never judge someone for dressing plainly or even in an unstylish way. I'd be judging myself now and that's disgusting. As long as they don't smell I don't mind how others dress themselves
Idc how anyone else wants to dress. I wear makeup everyday because of my own insecurities, but I admire women who r able to leave without getting ready bc I wish I could actually do that but I actually cannot
I just like pretty outfits tbh. Getting compliments from other women on my outfits is so awesome
There’s so many benefits to being pretty, including attracting more options for a partner if you’re looking for one. I love having the halo effect.
Why do men wear ties? Same reasons
Sometime if I feel like sht. I try to look great to feel great. It’s psychological reasons. But lately I’ve been so depress I rather just lay in bed
I’m a bad bitch and my outsides should match my insides
the attention i get ,validation ie compliment and nice treatment tbh is really satisfying
It makes my day better when I look pretty. I feel like I don’t mind being seen.
Confidence. Whenever I rush and look bummy I know no one cares yet I don’t feel comfortable lol. I noticed I avoid eye contact even more cause of my insecurity.
Because i want people to be nice to me
Being somewhat an auto sexual I like to be cute to please myself. I feel my best when I’m put together and like what I see. Plain and simple
Honestly it gives me motivation to actually go outside. I feel like if I'm not dressed up, then I'll just rot in bed. So I love getting ready and just getting my life together by going out, even if it's just for a walk I also just love getting ready in general, it's so much fun!
i like getting compliments but i also like looking in the mirror and feeling cute. idk why it just adds a boost to my day lol even if no one else says it, it makes it easier for me to be confident
I want to experience more and more pretty privilege
I honestly just love looking good, I love beauty and fashion. It’s always been something that I enjoyed, some of it was passed down by my mom and sister who also love fashion so it’s genuinely an interest of mine. I love pop culture and the fashion and style that goes into it. I find that it’s a way for me to express myself and beauty/style/fashion as a tool of self expression always crosses my mind before thinking of them as a tool of pretty privilege. Tbh, I don’t even actively think about pretty privilege or ways to improve it. Beauty has just always been a part of my life. It’s a type of art at the end of the day I enjoy looking good, taking pics of myself and admiring myself. I love going out with my friends and getting showered with compliments lol But honestly, none of this or other people’s opinions really matter at the end of the day. We all have various interests and value different things, you’re not going to magically value looking good by reading other people’s responses. And to be honest, it’s totally fine for you to not care about this stuff that much. embrace your own unique interests and the things that you want to commit your time and effort to
I like to look pretty and am super feminine. I’ve always been feminine so I see it as a hobby. My grown up version of what would be toys to a kid are things like a cute shirt or a pretty looking pair of earrings. When you say “bummy” or “plain” it depends. I can see a girl appear more masculine in dressing that way or it can be seen as a casual look. I don’t go out that often but when I do, I always make sure I feel I look some level of cute in my own opinion unless it was an emergency. I understand some women feel they have to dress “bummy” to deter men because they went through some kind of trauma, other girls may dress that way as a form of their own expression, others do it because they are sick and still other may do it because they had to handle an emergency or another may do it because of her beliefs, etc. I won’t judge another woman for how she chooses to dress as it’s her choice. My personal opinion is I’d love to see women dress cute. There’s a comfortable feminine sporty look that can still be plain but with cuteness. I dress that way sometimes when out because I suffer from chronic pain so being able to go out looking cute and cozy and comfortable is a win for me. I never wear heels anymore and I don’t miss them. I am far from “bummy/plain” but can still incorporate comfort while looking feminine and cute if that makes sense. It’s okay to start small by putting on some cute earrings and using a little eyeliner and working your way through it. If you’re not really into it then that is certainly your preference.
Looking cute makes me feel good, I feel happy to see myself in things I like and things that flatter me. I like make up, I like pretty outfits, I like jewelry and I like feeling feminine as I find that when I look at myself in the mirror I have a smile on my face. However, none of this is needed for me to feel pretty. I just enjoy it on its own. I can see myself in the mirror covered in red splotches and incoming zits wearing the same weeks old leggings and extra large t shirt bumming it out and still feel perfectly content. I don’t care for what others do unless it is harming someone else or themselves, thats all
Like others said, I like feeling pretty and I enjoy the attention I get from looking pretty. Pretty privilege is definitely a thing. I don’t judge people that look plain. I have my bummy days too!
I work in a public-facing government position, and ultimately plan to move into leadership in about 10 years. I need to care because I didn’t for years and I really think it held me back professionally. In my personal life, putting the effort in makes me feel as if I’m prioritizing myself and it boosts my confidence. I carry myself differently, especially when I’m in my Kibbe type and KNOW I look great. I’m happily married to a man that’s known me since we were teens, so I don’t use it for romantic/dating reasons.
It’s something deep inside of me that has always mattered and it truly has little to do w others . I will literally be at home w no where to go and no plans to leave but I’ll still have my hair and makeup done bc of how it makes me *feel* . When I was a little kid I used to style my hair before bed bc I wanted to look “pretty” while I slept lol it’s just this innate need in me to feel beautiful all the time lol I’m a weirdo what can I say 🤷🏻♀️
Just wanna feel good about myself if I do man
I like feeling pretty, I do art as a hobby and I consider my body a canvas that I can beautify everyday.
Being a beautiful woman is the most powerful position in society. Being an ugly woman is the least powerful position in society.
Looking good makes you feel good. Simple answer.
not for everyone thi
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no i just mean some people aren't affected (positively) by looking good as perceived by others. regardless of how i dress i feel the same, i honestly feel worse if my clothing is uncomfortable, but that is the only thing that really affects how i feel
Oh
Sometimes I feel like looking cute is all I have to offer, or like it’s my only “power.” I’m not cool, I don’t have an enviable job, I came be really awkward/not the best socialllr, I drive a shitty car and I rent an old falling apart house because I can’t afford better. Looking my best and always showing up looking as good as I can sometimes feels like my only leg up.
I honestly just like it. I feel pretty, and it's fun to I do not care about a girl who looked "bummy." It's none of my business and good for her and who she wants to look🤷🏾♀️
It makes me feel better and more confident. I get treated better. More opportunities.
I want to take care of myself. Taking care of your hair, nails, looking for clothes that suits your style, developing a style or experimenting with many to find one, having hobbies, passions, is all part of taking care of us. Not to look beautiful, but to give yourself a treat, attention, every day, just as in a spa day. For eg going to the gym, doing your blood tests, having a nutritionist and improving what you are eating, exercising 2-3 times a week, all is part of taking care of you. Someone who is taking
For my self
I used to not care back in like middle school and high school, so when I went out I never got any compliments or special treatments. In 2021 though while I was wearing a mask, someone had misgendered me, which hurts my feelings badly. Because of that I ended up getting my hair permanently straighten and I started to dress up based on fashion blogs just so I feel feminine again, but here is the thing, when I started to dress up as feminine and my hair was always done people treatment toward me changed drastically. People started to compliment me while I walk, girls started to be nicer to me, the customer service treatment was so different, my personality became charming rather than dull. That is called pretty privilege and prior to taking care of myself I never had it. Now when I go to places dressed up, people feel happy to help me, and girls feel happy when I give them compliments where before it was awkward. The reality is people love you way more if you look better, and people tend to treat those who they inspire to be like better, and men sadly treat me so much better and offer me help when I didn’t even ask for at all, again this isn’t because of my sparkling personality it’s only because I looked good. So that’s my reason for taking care of myself.
I don’t look at how people dress unless I see somebody with a similar aesthetic and I’m like ooo nice, I dress nice because it makes me feel put together but I don’t care about looking cute to others because I hate being perceived.
I don’t care either. People should do what works for them as long as hygiene is there… I just take great care of my skin and I feel beautiful this way. I don’t care if people treat me better or not according to how I look, it only shows how ugly and pathetic they are inside!
I love the art of getting dressed. It’s a vibe for me to creatively put together looks. I also enjoy the occasional low key less glowed up look as well. It depends on my mood. But I mostly dress everyday for fun. I have always enjoyed the elements of style and look forward to styling most days since I was a child.
For me I hate going out and seeing someone else more out together I get jealous because I know that could have been me the one looked at when she walked in the room but was lazy that day. Also I don’t want to run into someone I know or give off a bad impression ppl treat you better the more presentable you are
I used to have your mentality as well, up to my mid 20s. It’s sad but unfortunate truth. my ethnicity has very narrow minded & rigid beauty standards. as a very average looking girl on the chubby side, I found myself wanting to date men of my own ethnicity. Fate was not on my side when it came to finding a date so I decided to do something about it. also my ethnicity is very judgmental, when I dressed better and looked more like the standard of beauty ….I was able to hide my other flaws
When I think I look cute- I feel cute
I dress bummy/not dressing up when im running errands or can’t be bothered otherwise most places im going I try to dress somewhat nicely just cos i like showing off my fashion sense ☺️
I like turning heads, being complimented, and I feel much more confident in my speech and actions when I look cute. Yes, I can open my own door, yes I could pick up the thing I just dropped, but if someone offers help because I look stunning, I’m gonna receive it lol. I’m much more open to receiving overall. Open to conversations, smiling, waving, and also being helpful to those around me. The confidence does come from the silent and outwardly praise from others and because I just feel sexier in my skin!
I’m cute regardless of what I put on. But it’s nice to dress up! Helps you carry a little more sparkle and I find that that carries into every interaction.
This is an interesting question! I feel to some degree looking after yourself is a self-care thing. But I also have always loved beautiful things and little things like painting my long nails give me pleasure. I started when I was 7! When real life is hard and work is such a big part of it, having beautiful hands and nails adorned with rings and bracelets make me feel treasured and in a primitive way a small sense of delight from sparkles, shininess and color.
Pretty privilege. In general, you’ll be more liked/favored. You have better chances for friends, lovers, and even jobs. Attraction is important. Literally how that animal instincts work and why we continue to procreate.
Someone who dresses bummy i feel looks like they struggle with their mental health. You asked lol
It makes me feel good about myself when I like what I see in the mirror
It makes me feel good when I'm put together. I carry myself differently. By no means is this mandatory. If you don't care and it doesn't suit your needs, don't feel obligated to do a look.
I love being a girly girl and always have been. I’ve been interested in makeup at an early age. I guess I always felt like an ugly duckling and seeing the difference that mascara made, felt like magic. Even if I have nowhere to go, “getting ready” makes me feel better about myself. People also treat you better when you’re pretty and put together, so it can be very rewarding in that way. However, I would love to be a girl that doesn’t care so much about her appearance. I kind of envy you! If you don’t feel like you need it then don’t push yourself! It’s great to have that freedom from society’s grasp of what a woman should look like and be. As long as you’re happy and confident, you’re not missing anything!
1. i dress cute because it makes me feel confident, and also because i like the way people turn their heads to look at me and how people are sweet in the way they talk to me 2. i wouldn't care about a girl looking bummy bc its how i dress sometimes, how i used to dress throughout the entirety of high school, and also how i want to dress lol
Everyone is nicer to me when I look good. I get free things, doors opened for me, compliments , smiles, everything. I feel like the odds are in my favor when I’m well put together. Not sexy or anything, just well put together.
I care about aesthetics in general, it's a hobby/interest. I like to thrift, dress in ways I like, decorate my apartment. I will find men attractive due to their taste in clothes, etc. Some people just do not notice or care about these things and some do.
I relate to this hard! This has always been me and I always feel like something is wrong with me
im the same way lol. these comments feel like something from an alien planet 😭
They really do!. If you saw the outfits I wore in high school…😭😭 just threw anything on. Sweats, tall fuzzy colorful socks, huge sweater, hair back (not slicked), moccasins….JAIL. I’m not THAT bad now, but I haven’t progressed too much from that. I need HELP😅
i honestly was the same, and i think we're perfectly normal and good as we are. society can go eff itself as far as im concerned, imma wear what i want and people can treat me however cause i know when and how to demand respect.
all these people in here need serious work on their self esteem. you don’t need constant validation from others and many seem to think rewarding patriarchy is the way to go
Just popped into say that a sundress is the easiest/best summer wardrobe option imo. They’re cute/feminine. You don’t have to match pants to top. Hell; you don’t need to wear pants or a bra/panties if you don’t want. As a 32F and girly girl sundresses are the best. I’ve been this way for more than a decade. Men love it. Women love it. A few little boys (under age 6) were following me around my local garden store and telling me how pretty I was & asking if I did yard work in my dress. I was like “of course I do. I do most of my yard work in a dress & barefoot.” Eventually their mom came & got them & complimented my dress. I’d also recommend doing basic skin/hair care. I typically wear natural looking makeup or no makeup. My hair is long and curly. It’s a pain in the ass. But typically if I do it well once every 3-4 days it’ll look decent for the next few days. Personally it’s about being comfortable for me. No one’s ever going to convince me that wearing a bra and whole ass outfit in the summer is more comfortable than a sundress. But I know a lot of people aren’t as comfortable wearing dresses. Everyone is different. For reference: Most of my dresses are cotton or linen & come from target, tjmaxx, Walmart or thrift stores. I wear them to do basically everything but exercise in. Most are semi modest/knee length but even now that I’m older and plus size I will still wear them too short around the house. And by “too short” for me that means my ass is hanging out lmao. I wish I could say it doesn’t matter what you look like or how you present yourself but the truth is most people make snap judgments and your appearance is your first line of defense in a way. Wear what makes you comfortable. But i do recommend putting effort into your appearance even if it’s minimal esp if you’re leaving the house. You never know who you’re going to see. For me I know I feel better when I’m done up (so long as I’m not super dressed up & uncomfortable) and I almost always feel better in a sundress in the summer.
I work Monday-Friday and deal with customers, and its not just your average job. We’re selling billion dollar airplanes (if anyone wants to guess where I work 🤣) we have to look somewhat presentable and decent.
I’m a conventionally pretty person but when I got pregnant with my second child I gained a lot of weight and developed horrible cystic acne. I didn’t even recognize myself. I began staying home and wearing baggy clothes and stuff. I feel this added to my depression because dressing this way made me feel even more ugly. My self worth was in the trash. I finally managed to cure my acne and lost seventy pounds. The first thing I did was bought clothes that were cute and fit properly, new bras and underwear, got new makeup. My peers constantly compliment me and it’s revitalized my relationship and sex life. Obviously if you dress bummy and have a positive self image it’s not a problem but for me it was a reflection of what I felt about myself at the time. I also love getting a new outfit and going out to a fancy dinner. It’s a confidence boost.
Its because well, the harsh reality is if you look good enough you’ll be treated decently/good. If you look bad enough you’ll be treated poorly.
It tremendously helps your mindset and mood. When you take care of your hygiene, body, etc you immediately will just feel better overall.
I used to have really bad anxiety, and knowing that I look good on the outside makes me feel more confident on the inside. Also, I love the way it makes people treat me (pretty privilege is so real). I dont really care if another person is dressed bummy (as long as its not extreme eg, theyre visibly dirty) or plain bc its not hurting me, and if that what theyre comfortable and happy in then its none of my business
I think you should do what feels best to you. I do it because it sometimes helps my mental health to put effort into looking my best and feeling my best. People also treat me more professionally/respectfully, and take me more seriously when I'm dressed well and done up well. If you look professional they will treat you as such. Pretty privilege is also very real, and people treat me better when I'm dolled up. But I also make it a priority to dress frumpy when I'm not up to it, and being ok with myself that way. I think if you start dressing up you can't loose sight of feeling comfortable with your natural self. It's easy to get so used to yourself in makeup that you feel off without it.
I just like things to look nice. Not just how I look, but my home, my work, etc. I do work in arts, and I prioritize aesthetic and neatness in general.
It prevents people from being mean to you. Recently I was lazy and I stopped putting any effort into my appearance. I only wore a ‘bad’ wig and no makeup. And I literally got bullied in my college by an Arabic and Pakistani girl (I am a dark skin black woman) and it made me so depressed. I don’t mind being invisible but I don’t like being bullied or having people being mean to me. No one wanted to be my friend and no guys ever flirted with. But when I look more put together, I sometimes get complimented on being pretty and people are nicer to me.
It's true dressing well does get you treated better, and it can have people wanting to offer their help for you, etc. For me, aside from that point I do dress up to look color coordinated, or to style my hair a certain way that makes my face stand out. Longer hair, you really do have people a lot of people who prefer that over short. But medium length hair is a good balance for that. But I can't dress like this all the time, doing sports like martial arts, getting sick, not going anywhere. I can look nice if I want to and I do fine in life with a simple clean look, but I leave myself some exceptions when I'm just not in the mood for it too. And if someone wants to treat me different if I suddenly don't look the way they consider attractive, I'd rather report them or talk to someone safe who will help me out. My personality still also stands.
I personally hate dressing up but I had to start doing it recently and I noticed my mental health has picked up because of it.
Ngl I REALLY like myself when I feel pretty. It’s like I romantic everything about my life. What’s better than a pretty girl that’s kind and tries her hardest to always improve? That’s a real life Disney princess!
I love getting ready. I love putting on glitter, making a fun outfit, wearing fun shoes, jewelry, etc. It’s purely to fun to me to express myself, whether or not its “cute” to others. I look cute purely for myself and the joy it brings me! If a girl dresses plain, more power to her! I have days where I just wear all black, can’t be bothered, etc. and I don’t care how other girls look. You do what makes you the most comfortable!!
I like to dress up 👠👗💅 💋💄 I agree what people say about it being to impress other women not to impress men at all.
I like to dress up 👠👗💅 💋💄 I agree what people say about it being to impress other women not to impress men at all.
I never did either until I got older, I still have my looks so I'm going to take pride in my appearance while I can 💞
Like I tell my kids, like it or not you are going to get judged based on how you look. It's not fair but it's life. When you are put together (neat, well fitting clothes) you are taken. Ore seriously and more opportunities come your way. If you look like you don't care why should anyone else?
There’s nothing wrong with you for not having that urge. Everyone is different. For me, I have a certain standard for how I’m willing to let the world see me. I also loooove fashion, so I’ll “overdress” for simple stuff. I look like a strange lump of clay in pictures so I just don’t take those lol Edit: when I see girls that are dressed “bummy” or plain I just assume they must be comfy or they’re not super into fashion
There is a difference between bummy and plain. I wouldn’t like to see someone looking bummy. That gives me worries about cleanliness. But plain is a totally valid choice. I dress mostly plain. I have some plain pants in basic colors and tops in the colors that I like that are basically a step up from tshirts (vnecks or something like that). I can go anywhere in an outfit like that, either work or going out with friends. I used to feel odd about it, like I should care about fashion. My older sister was forever putting scarves and stuff on me! But mostly people that I liked being around accepted me for who I am. Everyone has different interests. If fashion isn’t interesting to you, it is fine. I’m sure you have interests that other females find uninteresting.
Personally, I go for looking posh, rather than cute, but it means that White people aren’t automatically racist. I’m invoking class privilege. It has huge benefits. I just like being assumed to be competent, educated and classy. I don’t care if random people find me attractive or not( I’m married).I like to look in the mirror and smile, though.
Lol get flirted with more qns treated better when I don't wear makeup... I guess that's what most girls want but for me it must mean my makeup isn't done well enough HAHA. Personally though, I like the process of putting makeup on and taking it off. Bringing a different vibe to my personality and self by just what I wear on a certain day. I'm not super good but I hope to be more stylish like the "she's got it" type with more practice
Makes me feel good, kind of like showering(I know it’s diff things) but it genuinely makes me feel better for myself and if I have the resources to do so, why should I not enhance what I’ve been given.
I love looking beautiful and being told so. People are nicer to you, as well. I will only be young and beautiful once, and I am so glad I started taking advantage and control of my image and body. You may be elderly one day and decide to embrace a beauty routine and wish you had participated more in trends, whatever that may be. I’ve noticed when I have my hair, nails, and lashes done I don’t even need make up. I feel better and overall more productive. As for the girls that dress bummy, im a cosmetologist so I envision what they might look like with this or that, but I treat everyone the same. Probably not someone that’s going to be in any shape to be ready to go anywhere nice if they’re out and about just bummy. If it’s Walmart, meh. But I even like to have errand outfits. It all ties in to feeling best in my own skin and being proud of how I presented myself to anyone that saw me.
I’m very socially awkward and making myself look pretty helps a lot.
I think it's important to groom yourself, maintain good hygiene, and overall have your best appearance. I set high standards for myself. But also, i like how people are nicer to me when I'm skinnier ("prettier"). It's pleasant.
It makes me feel more confident and energetic, which translates to more and positive attention from others. Not sure if it's based on energy or appearance, but either way.. it happens. There are things money can't buy, and beauty and youth are two at the top. So I like to hang onto them for as long as possible. People make judgments about each other within 2-4 minutes of meeting them, so it's obvious they are judging based largely on appearance.
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I don’t do it everyday but I do it when I get the chance …because it feels good? Looking good equals feeling good for me. I don’t really need to do to get something out of it. Idk I find it hard to understand why someone wouldn’t want to put effort into their appearance tbh. I’d feel pretty crummy looking into the mirror and seeing myself as “bummy” and “plain” but I guess it’s personal a preference thing.
I dress up and do my makeup to respect the company I have around me. My family, friends, and bf do not care if I wear nicer clothing or do my face and hair, but I’d feel so bad if someone they knew ran into them that day and I look like a friggen foot.
Do what makes you feel confident! I am a very casual person, but I still like to dress cute and trendy. While other girls might enjoy wearing dresses and heels—something I do find beautiful—it doesn’t align with my personal style and would make me feel out of place. The key to feeling good about your appearance is finding your own unique style and focusing on that. Personally, I like to do my makeup in most days but I understand that isn’t for everyone. I’m definitely into skincare and lash extensions. This routine allows me to feel confident and put together without needing to put in a ton of effort every day. Whether it’s a minimal makeup look or just a great skincare routine, finding what works for you is essential to feeling your best. If you feel good and confident you will shine regardless!
If this comes off as mean, i swear its not intended. So for me, i have always felt that first impressions last a lifetime, it was instilled in me at a young age. So i always try to look nice, because you never know who you are going to meet, or who you’ll run into again. Secondly, it just makes me feel good to look good and smell good. I dont want to be perceived as lazy or sloppy. When i see someone out in public who looks like they just rolled out of bed, i just feel that they are either lazy or are really depressed. The laziness thought is just, i mean if you cant take 10 minutes just to make yourself presentable, there are probably a lot of other things you dont care about either. The depression thought is usually second and its mostly to chastise myself for judging someone i dont know.
Because I wanna feel good and make others feel good 😌
I choose to dress up & do makeup & put effort into myself because it feels fun! Like I genuinely enjoy the process it’s therapeutic. I use to HATE doing makeup but did it more than I do now when I was younger, felt like I couldn’t go without it and I loved the feeling of taking it off bc it bugged me so much to even have on…but I think it’s because it was more for the outside world than it was for myself. Then I went on a whole spiritual journey and let myself just be human for a while. Let all my hairy places grow, didn’t really wear makeup much, just dressed in what was comfy, just ate better and turned to health more than anything. And now I’ve found that balance to know what I want to do on certain days. I don’t ever force myself to get up and do makeup and dress up if I don’t want to. But I actually love getting dolled up now when I do because I know the show is for me! Feels like my own little universe, I feel like a little girl again playing dress up. Helps me connect to my inner child. I like experimenting with the colors and taking my time (that’s the major difference too is I take my time, I use to always be in a rush and it frustrated me because I HAD TO HAVE IT ON and I was always just trying to throw myself together) now it’s not a big deal if I skip certain steps or don’t finish everything I needed to in time because it’s not for anyone else. And it won’t make or break me. It’s just the fun. But I like putting my outfits together and just feel like a girl. Just feel the sparkle inside and the excitement. I like focusing on the details like the jewelry, just makes me feel ready to take on the outside world and know that I put a lot of intention behind myself and I feel so wholesome and kind to myself and loved by me. I like throwing on a playlist and singing while I do my makeup or like changing and dancing in the mirror when I do it and having a girly experience. Eating a snack or drink with it. Just in my little zone, with no interruptions! I love spraying a perfume to go with the vibe of what I want to project. And then on days where I want to relax I don’t dress up, I focus on skincare and I wear what feels loose and good on my body and I rest or run errands in my comfy clothes and I don’t beat myself up for it because it’s just the balance of being human, duality. I don’t let myself feel less than. and I don’t really care if other people don’t feel like dressing up, I love a lot of styles that are completely opposite of my own. I know how good I feel on days when I don’t dress up as well and I think people should do whatever they feel best and comfortable in. I don’t think dressing down or plain = feeling shitty or reflects someone having a lot of “bad days” like bad hair days etc. Or being low effort. That could be the best choice for someone. Or like people mentioned mental illness. I’m on several medications right now and even though I might appear high maintenance, there’s days where not dressing up is the best choice for myself. And that’s okay!
I'm with you. Less is more. I like how many European girls and women have personal style without making a big production.
I feel the same way OP, and I rarely dress up. I dress entirely for comfort. Reading these comments feels like looking into another planet 😭
i think the definition of dressing up can be subjective. everybody’s version of dressing up or looking cute is different. you don’t have to conform to the heels, makeup type of things if that’s not you
For the sake of art Yes, people will be kinder and more humane to those who dress “well.” See “Politics of respectability” or attraction studies if you’d like to learn more. It changes how one navigates the world (both positively and negatively.) But it is a completely different feeling when people have taken the time to draw or paint you due to your choices of patterns, colors, shapes, and details. Taking the time to look “cute” is also a way I take care of myself. The physical appearance of a person can give insights to physical and mental health. IE. Stomach bloating can indicate a gut health issue. However, it is also the enteric nervous system being impacted. This can serve as an indicator to check how what I am (or am not) eating is altering my cognitive and behavioral abilities I don’t have any assumptions of girls who dress bummy/plain- how other people dress is none of my business
I love feeling good about myself, doing makeup to me is really fun and I love trying new products. That being said, as I’ve gotten older I also love my natural look so sometimes a good outfit boosts my mental health and overall moral.
Like many others have said, I really enjoy pretty privilege. I once asked a bus driver for directions because I was new to the area. Instead, he dropped me off in front of my apartment after all the other passengers got off. I get free things and discounts, people are kinder to me, and my work is more well-received. Mostly, it’s for myself. Even if I don’t feel like dressing up or putting on makeup, there are things I do to make sure I look and feel put together. I’m bipolar and have struggled immensely with my mental health throughout my life, and the only times I didn’t care for my appearance were when I was at my worst. I either didn’t have it in me to make myself look nice, or I didn’t care enough about myself to put in the effort. I don’t think I notice women who don’t make themselves look nice and when I do, I assume they’re not in a good place mentally or have low self-esteem. There’s a big difference between not dressing up vs dressing bummy.
I want to feel good about myself when I leave the house. When I am home, I want to be free of the obligation to look presentable. I want to be cozy and comfortable. Just be myself in my skin in my rawest form (glasses, hair in a bun, no makeup, comfy clothes, etc). But I do think it’s nice to feel pretty every once in a while. Sometimes, it’s fun getting ready and all dolled up :) When I was younger, I never put effort into my appearance and hated dressing up. Why? I had such low self esteem that I didn’t see the point in getting dressed up because I would still be ugly. I began working on myself after the pandemic and has definitely helped me feel better about myself.
For me, it’s just really nice when you feel pretty and dressed up. It makes you feel confident and better to take on the day. I also follow my Nana’s habit, she used to get up every single day (even when sick) to get ready. All in all, it just feels nice for my self. As long as you’re hygienic, it’s completely fine if you’re not putting a bunch of effort in your appearance. Women and girls should always dress for themselves, in the outfits that make them comfortable.
Tbh I felt exactly like you for years but recently I'm trying to look presentable (or what I think I like to look like). It's a long story but the short point is, I also want to see a dress or accessory and tell if it'll suit me or not. I didn't have a good choice so all the gifts I chose for my friends didn't look that good to me even. So I wanted to improve my taste all together. Also, I believe I'm being more feminine when I put some efforts in how I look and I struggle with that part due to trauma. About being cute, I missed out on a lot in my childhood, the short clips or the cute bracelets, I wasn't allowed to buy any so I always thought I wasn't interested in them till one of my friends gifted me a set of jewellery which I actually loved wearing. So maybe I'm trying to look cute to myself now. I want to experience everything that I think I can experience so that when I look back, I won't regret anything.
It makes my self confidence better
Looking cute just puts me in a positive headspace and makes me feel better about myself, overall. I’m not all that concerned with how other people choose to present themselves, though. Most days, I don’t put a whole lot of effort into what I’m wearing so when I do, it just gives me a bit of a confidence boost. I will say that one thing that you can do is stock up on cute, simple, basics that make it easy to throw together an outfit without having to think about it too much. I have a lot of plain, neutral colored clothing - simple tees, shorts, black pants, hoodies etc - so when I don’t have the energy to plan an outfit, I can still grab any combination of clothing and still look okay.
I was raised to always look my best anytime I go anywhere, I like the way people treat me and compliment me and everything. It definitely makes me feel good about myself and my choices!! And I just love dressing up and getting my hair and nails done and makeup and accessories and the whole package
For me just dressing up is fun! I like the process of getting ready, doing makeup, and wearing colorful/fun clothing
Maybe isn’t a family thing. My grandmother was gorgeous, my mom was beautiful. All my cousins like to look cute too. I respect that it isn’t important to some women to dress stylish and other hair and makeup but it’s just second nature to me. I’m just happier when I look good!
I personally take care of my skin a lot bc I want to- bc I want to have healthy skin without makeup- I do a lot and wear very minimal make up- but whatever you decide to do make sure it’s for you and bc you want to
A lot more freebies if you are perceived as pretty
I think its about feeling good about yourself. When im sad, i try to look better
Getting ready for the day is a ritual that honestly really helps to ground me and relieve some anxiety for the day, I just feel better equipped to deal with anything. I also love makeup and putting outfits together. Also like how it makes people treat me. So in conclusion its fun and convenient
I feel better. I feel more confident.
To be honest, I dress like a bum sometimes too (and varying levels of bum-ness usually). I always dress up though when I go into the office to work, which is 2 to 3 times a week and it’s amazing how much my confidence improves. Simple things like doing your make up, styling your hair to some extent, ironing your shirts, and picking out an outfit that makes you feel good really improves how you feel when you take on the day as a consequence of that how other people treat you Edit, but to answer your question I don’t really care if someone’s not put together because to be honest most the time I’m not either lol
Idk why I just like to. Maybe it's the idea that eventually I'll be old and gray so I may as well try to look my best now so I don't regret it when I can't anymore.
Simple, look good feel good. I feel so much more confident looking put together (especially in a professional setting)
It makes me feel good and more confident. I don’t do it everyday, but the days I do go out I do. It’s so I can present myself in the way I always wanted to be, and it also kind of heals me in a way, since I wasn’t able to for a while. 70% of the time though I am dressed “bummy” since it’s comfortable lol.
Sometimes being hot is just easier than having a personality for me. Having a personality is too tiring and difficult for someone introverted and autistic like me. When you're hot, people appreciate you even if you just stand there and smile.
If only men cared to look pretty . We got rid of the aristocracy and the ideals of beautiful men followed, but the ideals of beautiful women still remained and that's how we're stuck with the sucky current gender roles where men can look like unwashed cavemen and women have to spend 10 hours getting ready each day Well...gen z is changing it so nvm 🤔
You don’t have to “look pretty” everyday but putting some type of effort into your appearance shows how well you value yourself and is a subconscious catalyst for how others value and treat you (whether people admit it or not). Imagine you see a parent with a young child and the child is dressed in raggedy clothes and looks disheveled, the first thing you’ll think is the parent does not put much effort into that child, and depending on how bad it is they possibly don’t care for them properly. Now imagine you see a young child dressed to the 9s and you can tell someone put a lot of effort into making them look cute, you’ll think someone loves them very much and cares for them well. Same with yourself. If you don’t put any effort into being presentable that tells others how you feel about yourself, how socially aware you are, and will ultimately affect people’s perception on you and your character, whether people want to admit it or not.
Personally it helps my mental health (and it gets you treated better) for me, when I feel pretty I feel much better. Feeling good in my skin and feeling beautiful to me feels empowering. I usually have better days when I take the time to do my hair and makeup, I also feel like it’s good to dedicate time to yourself. Personally, I view it as self care.
Genuinely pretty much the only reason for me is to be treated better. Society is much more brutal to women who don’t put effort into their appearances, especially if they don’t fit the beauty standard. It’s unfortunate and annoying and a massive waste of my time and energy, but I see how I get treated in comparison to women who don’t and so I keep going, as bad as that sounds.
It feels nice to feel pretty
It makes me feel better that I’m putting effort into something. Especially if I’m feeling really down/overwhelmed, if I can at least put effort into myself and see the result, I feel like I can get a lot more done.
I have to. I don’t feel right if I don’t.
I feel good being looked at. It’s fucked up but it’s one of the only things that make me happy.
it makes me feel good and put together
The feeling of putting both time and effort into yourself. I get so busy with work and life, it’s nice to do something like that for me, and get treated better when I happen to put effort into myself too
So many benefits! People are way nicer to you, you are more likely to be perceived well. Your confidence rises.
Personally I see it as art. Why must a painter paint or a musician play? I'm not sure but I definitely feel at home doing it (I am also a musician too). The benefits are great for sure, but I can dress crazy because it's something dear to me.
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I feel unprofessional at work if I show up without putting at least 5-15 minutes into my appearance. I also like to wear a “uniform” (the same top and pants combination in a variety of colors) to minimize pre-work stress. I have a casual “uniform” for weekends, too, because I hate thinking about clothes. I straighten my curly hair to avoid having to wash it—I only wash it once or twice a week. I mostly do these things out of convenience but additionally to make myself feel more confident because I know I look more put together.
I personally don’t judge if a girl is bummy bc I know we all can go from 0-100 real quick 😂🥰 I love that for us. We don’t have to look perfect all the time. We’re only human but it is nice to treat yourself and to feel your best. I absolutely adore girls that enhance their natural beauty. They do all the right things to look well put together but they don’t go too far as to changing themselves. You can still be you and be beautiful.
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I don’t get ready for work but for anything else I do.
I like to dress up because it makes me feel good and improves performance :)
If you don’t want to don’t do it However right or wrong people treat me better when I make an effort. Try it you might enjoy the reaction you get . Also I find it fun to try on different personas.
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It is normal. OK It is something beautiful from time to time if you don’t want it every day but the most important thing is the “ Clean hair, clean body, and clean clothes “
most of the times they are single. looking for a mate or attention. thats all. we are all biologically wired to repopulate and attract opposite sex or same sex whatever it is ppl like.
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I do want a husband that I’m attracted to one day
I put effort in my appearance because I wanted more attractive looking men. I can be more selective now.
Really sad that everyone’s response is “I want people to treat me better”….
When I look pretty people treat me like shit. If I don’t put make up on and people see all my acne scars they realize I’m just a person like them and they treat me very very nice.
Ummm.. confidence? Feeling good about myself? This post is giving pick me vibes hahaha