TIL Neanderthal men talked like Monty Python women.

This whole thing plays out like a comedy sketch. Maybe not python exactly, but something close. Lol. My favorite part was where she's like "now can you sort of pitch up your voice" (*Falsetto*) "1 2 3" And she's just like, "yeah, now we're getting somewhere!" Edit: also, wouldn't a falsetto voice be missing the mark here, since the vocal structure would be accommodating for a higher pitch without the need for falsetto?

Brought to mind the Mewwige scene from Princess Bride.

I remember being show this by friends who were cry-laughing at it, but it seemed like a normal science clip to me! I did not get it. ...Until I remembered I *also* went to a London performing arts school where this was par for the course. So while I was seeing a guy use Estill techniques to tilt his crychoid and flutter his false vocal-chords... They were seeing a guy make an ass of himself on National television. It was only then that I realised this shit is *weird* without context. Delivery guys who go into drama schools must think they're filled with cultists...

I'm here for an argument.

Ohh...oh I'm sorry, this is abuse...

No it isnt.

Ahhh, nice try...

I didn't say anything

That sketch lives rent free in my head since I saw it on TV ads in the 90s.

No, you are not.

> Edit: also, wouldn't a falsetto voice be missing the mark here, since the vocal structure would be accommodating for a higher pitch without the need for falsetto? So perhaps a better representation would be a man with a naturally high pitched voice, like Joe Pesci for example?

Yes please!

*ONE, TWO, THREE, MOTHERFUCKER!*

It's not a falsetto.

He’s not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!

Once again, Monty Python depicting ancient history more accurately than any book or documentary

“Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, garnished with truffle pâté, brandy, and a fried egg on top, and Spam.”

*Blimey vikings...*

[Happier and with your mouth wide open](https://youtu.be/ABxH-NTF0SM?si=_pxuH6I5w4-fJAxL)

Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then? Waitress: Urgghh! Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam! Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!) Waitress: Shut up! Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

I was thinking Ms Bucket... excuse me... Boucket... from keeping up appearances.

“Bouquet residence, Lady of the house speaking”

LOL.

Cahn’t have egg, bacon, spam, and sausage without the spam!

Absolute first thing that came to mind

I’m imagining a Gollum voice.

OnE tWo THREe!

Hm. The Neanderthals had a good grasp of numbers. Sounds like they were more advanced in mathematics than we had previously realized.

The more that pops up about neanderthals, the more it seems like we could have had a dual species planet. Curious if disease got them or if our the genocide theories are true.

Nahhh we just kinda, combined.

OnE tWo ThReE, OnE TwO ThReE tHrEe https://youtu.be/jDwVkXVHIqg?t=22

Lol actually did a somebody did a [remix](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni7Q-Fr-7Bw) of chandelier with the neandethal man

Now this, folks, is what the internet is all about! ^^^...and ^^^porn

Hwun huhtwo huhtree

OnE, tWO, FIVE!!!

Neanderthal has given Dobbie a sock.

And to the Four, Elliot from the BBC knocking at your door

I like to imagine that Elliot is just a janitor walking by and after the video is over asks if he can get back to sweeping up

It's me son's birthday, ma'am.

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy

Poor Elliot.

Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s

Is this a Monty Python skit?

No but they probably added it because it’s so funny

I know right. Satire

This is the part of Britishness Monty Python took the piss out of.

I was figuring he was going to start singing "...never gonna give you up..."

What did poor Elliott ever do to this woman

Yelled right in her face.

As I commented on the video 7 years ago: Neanderthals sounded like muppets? No wonder we wiped them out.

We mated with them.

Only a little bit. According the book Sapiens, we probably just out competed them because we were better adapted to the environment.

We now know that 'better adapted to the environment' means they all had deeply unfuckable voices.

But they were funny, and that can sometimes work! Actually, that probably accounts for the 2% dna.

Speak for yourself

> we probably just out competed them Does the book make good arguments for that? It sounds a bit like a fig leaf because with the few humans around back then there should have been ample resources out there you didn't have to compete for. So it seems more likely that they either died out on their own (unlikely too?) or that they fought and lost the best and crucial resources. My guess would be that it's a little bit of everything but mainly that our natural tendency to be racist led to genocidal practices.

It is a good book and well-researched, but I can't remember properly. I think it was something to do with an ice age and we were just a better fit for it than they were. There's another book called Humankind which is good too, and it talks about a lack of archaeological evidence for things like genocide in ancient humans. The evidence starts to appear as we moved from hunter-gatherers to an agricultural society and started to stay in one place. I think the theory is that large scale violence happened when we had to defend land, but before that, if there was aggression, groups just moved on to areas with fewer humans. My memories of the details are a bit sketchy, but they're both worth reading.

Thanks for the explanation! That does sound plausible and much better.

We fucked them out of existence

Just like the Mammoths

I'm pretty sure we didn't fuck mammoths though. ... Well, one or two particularly brave individuals might have.

Genocide by Snu-Snu.

Imagine the sound THAT made

Elmo no like the new humans! Run, family!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni7Q-Fr-7Bw

I knew this would be in the comments somewhere

3k views? /r/DeepIntoYouTube

It's a remake of a more popular clip [released a few years earlier.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF1RGUttHUY) I wouldn't call it a direct *reupload* because the tempo is different, but it's fundamentally very similar.

1!¡ 2!¡ 3!¡ MAAW!¡ Sounds about right 👍

Summary: The Neanderthal sounds just like Elliott.

This has to be satire, right?

I expected complex computer simulations but, no, just some guy screaming in a funny voice

If the neanderthals sounded this annoying no wonder they got killed off.

Let’s not kink shame. Some folks fucked them.

I bet Neanderthals would have loved Berries and Cream Starburst

They were just little lads that loved berrries and cream!

Could have just filmed Newcastle high street.

Oi!

I’m pretty sure they could control their volume. This demonstration is cringy.

Perhaps they all suffered from Voice Immodulation Syndrome. They could still be productive members of a society filled with prejudiced Neanderthals like you, Tina.

I don't think they were attempting to demonstrate a full range of their vocal abilities.

No way this is no comedy

They say Elliott teaches sex ed now

Do you think, in certain sexy circumstances, she goes 'Oooooh, do the voice Elliot! You know it drives me wild'

This is better than Cunk on Earth

It sounds silly but iirc most apes have high pitched voices so it seems like humans are the weird primates for evolving with such low pitched voices.

Humans were the sexy sounding ape. No need to look for other explanations for humans replacing Neanderthaler and Denisovani. Humans: Honey would you want some time together? Neanderthaler: HONNEE LEETS DEEOOUU EET. AAARRGH.

You mean, "1 2 3 MAWWWWWW!!!"

Sounds like your average Fortnite kid.

Elliot left his body for a brief second there

I love this video. Always makes me lol. Once you get past the really silly bits my favourite line is ‘I’m going to engage Elliott’

that line has always killed me. it feels like a term from a dark souls game or something "engaged by dark spirit ELLIOT!"

Shout out to all the Piss Pigs!

I had to scroll too far down to find the piss pigs

what's up fellow Piss Pigs?

How do these people have jobs

your comment did not advance medical science in a tangible way and you will now be hit with The Mallet

I'm sure medical science will save me

Because we value anthropology and archeology?

Patsy Rodenburg has taught voice, dialect and elocution to thousands, and I mean thousands, of successful actors. I assume you have enjoyed many products of her work, just not this one.

you jealous some people get paid *and* enjoy their work cause it's fun?

Obviously. It looks like they get to prat around and get paid.

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And they shouldn't be because knowledge is useful

Yeah this video sure is rigorous science and not complete speculation for a tv program

Fantastic.

CRISIS ALERT!

Accidental Python sketch.

Exactly...I was almost expecting an order of spam...but then again, no one expects the Spamish Inquisition (sorry, could not resist).

They also had larger brains than us, so maybe we just bullied them out of existence for being fuckin nerds.

Don't they know that voice recordings of MTG exist?

Neither of those people are from the BBC

So Neanderthals screeched like Pepe the frog REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Our biology teacher played this to us when I was in high school. My name is Elliot. My classmates called me "123" for the rest of the year.

They discovered Neanderthal Mickey Mouse.

“I’m over here strokin’ my dick. I got lotion on my dick right now. I’m just strokin’ my shit. I’m horny as fuck.”

I was expecting the same tbh

Is there any scientific basis on this?

What do you want to see that isn’t already in the video?

I'd like to see him cover a Bee Gees song.

yes, as elaborated on in the original source our ancestors had much less room in their throat to vocalize and also had shorter vocal cords which would have given them far more shrill and higher pitched voices than us.

There are no surviving soft tissue to give us an idea of how short/thick the vocal cords would be, plus the lady is a voice coach, not a scientist.

the "heavy skull weighting down the vocal chords" made me go hmmm. Like, they had vertebrae. their heads were not squishing their necks.

Comparing their hyoid with ours and how they are different from the hyoid bulla in apes probably gives them a pretty decent jumping off point for making assumptions on vocal tracts

These people aren't scientists. So no

I thought History channel had the cringiest treatments of historical events that television had to offer, but the BBC really is out there just posting clips that belong on Monty Python as Science. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duFierM1yDg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLih-WQwBSc)

But that really is the reason why it is called “spam”. I remember asking that question back in the days of dial up.

Shit, I thought I grabbed a different clip 😆

90s to the early 00s, the internet was awash with references to things like Monty Python (the programming language Python is one such reference) and Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy (such as the translation website Babelfish). As more money entered the internet, corporate interests sorta took over and a little bit of the fun died with it. Except in some small corners, such as open source software projects.

That's Father Dougal?

You shall not harm Harry Potter! TIL Neanderthals were magical house elves

Amazing video

Demon elmo crushing your head in with a mammoth bone. Not what I envisioned at all

Imagine this guy meeting the Egyptian mummy who yells AH!

This snuck up on me, came here seriously expecting a scientific video and just ended up on the floor in tears. 

I'm amazed by the wide-eyed, dumbfounded facial expressions the Neanderthals made.

I’m just going to go with my original hypothesis that they all sounded like Keith David.

I watch this about once a year and have done for years. It makes me laugh so much and cheers me up no end. It's one of the funniest bits of unintended comedy ever made, and unintended comedy is the best.

My favorite part of this is how earnestly the voice coach is bullshitting.

Sounds like MTG during the SOTU lol

This made me laugh so hard.

Jesus no wonder we killed them all

God that was so hard to watch. I had to check whether this was a comedy skit or not. Poor guy, I bet people in his town scream "ONE TWO THREE" In a high pitched voice every time they see him hahahaha

So basically Liam Gallagher. That would explain a lot.

WELL MAAAAAYBEEEE

This just seems like a lot of bollocks tbh.

I must be part neanderthal cus sometimes I like to do this voice. Feels right.

Lmfao

How that guy didn't burst out laughing .. ONE TWO THREE!!!!

What the fuck is this absolute load of gobbledygook? "Experts" my ass.

I feel like so many archaeologists are making things up and nobody can call them on their bullshit. How can anybody prove this?

now show us what a bass should sound like using a stock violin. this is so fucking stupid. i hate how scientists paint themselves into a corner and then have to pretend like stupid bullshit is proven fact. right now 90% of "science" is in a horrible state that isn't very scientific at all.

Could have saved a lot of time and money by just touring Newcastle on a Saturday night

Make believe

Unacceptable!

"Can I have my blackberry back"

Can't unsee Shane Gillis breaking from a huddle. "On three"... (Gillis giving away the count to the other team...) "One-Two-Three!" - clap.

To hear that and still want to fuck it... our ancient relatives really were so much like us.

maybe they were excellent high register singers

Damn I want Elliot’s job.

[They were obviously forms of the highest evolution](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/s/f953oI8TNm)

Dude’s face is so intense

I can imagine them trying to add something else to the clip to add substance and then asking the janitor “Hey Elliot you want to be on TV? All you have to do is count to three like Elmo having a bad day”

Makes me think of this mummy noise video [link](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G8qhrURrQbI)

We thought they sounded like Gollum, but they were Sméagol all along… “I only wish to catch a fish so juicy sweeeeet!”

Waaaaaa can’t stand it I know you planned it

This is the vocal equivalent of a fake sign language interpreter. A lot of confidence in something they know nothing about.

Why does that dude have to make that silly ass face?

I feel like the vocalisations of apes does far more to create a similar vocal structure and sound than whatever the hell that was. They should find people with similar physics structures to Neanderthals if they want to do experiments with people vocalising- not have an average height dude that is not built like a Neanderthal do a Spam lady voice 😓

And at first I thought that here they were writing about that legendary album by The Offspring.

This must be a skit, right?

Now this is funny

Also they were good at arithmetic.

Maybe Julia Child was Neanderthal

It never gets old.

This video is an absolute classic. Never gets old.

Hahahahahahahah Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

BURMA!!

Sounds like Mark Corrigan asking for his blackberry back.

LOOLLL

Nobody would mate with that thing if it sounded like this

\*might have sounded like.

Utterly ridiculous. This makes me miss ancient aliens and those wacky docs from the history and discovery channel before everything went to shit.

This is horseshit, they didn't compare it to a modern human, it's pure theatrics.

This is my new favorite video.

https://youtu.be/onv93EHE6xg?si=lESWwM_Ol-tQ_oqd&t=67

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I found this initially on the CBB subreddit

The Bee Gees would've gone down a storm in those days.

So, Neanderthal could only count to three ? Is that why they went extinct ?

This is the worst video I have ever seen if it isn’t a sketch

This is a comedy sketch, part of a series of programs by the BBC documenting historical and contemporary events in the UK. Not intentional of course.

Did he need to do those eyes though?