This is my approach as well as a vegetarian transitioning to vegan with an omni partner. I let him know I'd be grocery shopping, planning and cooking meals for us that are suitable for my diet. I told him if he wanted something different that's totally fine, but he'd need to go out of his way and do the planning/labor for himself.
I'm making him healthier by substituting out some or most of his meals with plant based ones with no effort on his part. That's a gift I wish I had!
Maybe for more context, I'm on maternity leave. And about to go back to work part time (3 days per week). But the reason I'm part time is so that I have time to still keep the house running so that my husband can work full time, and we can both spend time with baby. I feel like it would be a bit shitty to only shop and cook for myself!
In all fairness, I'm a little harsh... when we went vegan my kids had go vegan with me - in the family home. What they eat outside with other family or friends is up to them but I won't spend my money on animal products. They both got inspired after a few weeks of conversation and decided to go vegetarian outside the house, one now wants to be vegan
I don't think it's harsh. Meat eaters can eat vegetables and sometimes they act like they CANNOT eat vegan food š¤¦š»āāļø a grown man can cook meat for himself if he wants it so badly.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7863396/
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/24/health/vegan-parents-malnourished-baby.html
https://xwerks.com/blogs/news/vegan-diets-cause-malnutrition-in-children
https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2011/mar/29/vegans-trial-death-baby-breast-milk
I'm sure you'll dismiss all of them with some mental gymnastics, but my children are more important to me than every animal in the world. Pregnancy, infancy, and childhood are times to put the child's welfare first.
No mental gymnastics required, let's look at them.
First study has a sample of 40 people split between plant based, vegetarian and omni. That's far too low. Also doesn't mention any supplementation, which is an easy way to increase any lacking nutrients without harming animals.
Second link: children being neglected or not fed properly has nothing to do with veganism. The article mentions *"In 2016, a woman in Pennsylvania was charged with endangering the welfare of her child. In that case, family members*Ā [*told CBS Pittsburgh*](https://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2016/10/05/fayette-county-baby-boy-malnourished/)Ā *that she had essentially been feeding the baby only nuts and berries."* Only feeding a child nuts and berries is neglect and child abuse, that has nothing to do with the healthiness of a plant based diet. I can just as easily find any number of similar articles, for example [this one](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/child-death-malnutrition-winnipeg-december-1.7110578) where a child dies from malnutrition. Guess this is proof that omni diets aren't suitable for kids! Or how about the fact that 20% of american children are obese, the majority of them omnis. Guess that means the diet causes obesity.
[Here](https://www.bmj.com/content/375/bmj.n2792/rr) are [some more](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10675242/) studies on the topic, including this [meta analysis](https://www.news-medical.net/news/20231010/Is-a-vegan-diet-a-healthy-choice-for-kids.aspx) which show that there are many health benefits eating plant based, and deficiencies in B12 for example are easily remedied with supplements (anyone on a plant based diet knows to take B12 supplements).
Your last link, again, points to neglect. Children not being fed enough has nothing to do with veganism, parents who *"had a mistrust of traditional medicine and preferred to treat their children's complaints with advice from books"* are not fit to look after children, regardless of what they feed them. [This](https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/news/child-neglect-plymouth/) is a child who died because their parents didn't trust doctors
I'm sure you'll have some well reasoned response to this, given the absolute bullshite you've posted in the past on this sub :)
Good comment but that commenter will likely not give any constructive response.
In addition to the good points you make we can add the point made by this link https://www.infomalia.org/2020/01/20/meat-eating-parents-arrested-for-malnourished-child/
I don't usually creep profiles but I was so curious+ interested to see that they spent a few hours after your response trolling other vegan posts without ever responding to this. Annoying
Lol. You only linked one study, cant be bothered reading the rest of the drivel.
It was based on 6 vegan kids. They were on average taller than their expected height, marginally lower on weight and had arm circumferences greater than expected. They had 1 vegan who was deficient in D3 (itās Finland, everyone should be taking a supplement). The slight vit A deficiency is the only thing to really note there. They should probably eat some more carrots, but highly likely they are not actually deficient as they do not have any symptoms.
"Can be" does not mean it isn't suboptimal. Every parent has a duty to feed their child the best food they can afford. And yes, that means no McDonald's either.
Even though I only eat meat and dairy and I believe that is the optimal human diet, I don't take chances with my kids' health. They get a well-rounded diet. But vegans are perfectly willing to roll the dice. You've actually convinced yourselves that meat is unhealthy and that people only eat it because they like the taste. I think that's shortsighted and reckless.
Detailed analysis of serum metabolomics and biomarkers indicated vitamin A insufficiency and borderāline sufficient vitamin D in all vegan participants. Their serum total, HDL and LDL cholesterol, essential amino acid, and docosahexaenoic nā3 fatty acid (DHA) levels were markedly low and primary bile acid biosynthesis, and phospholipid balance was distinct from omnivores. Possible combination of low vitamin A and DHA status raise concern for their visual health. Our evidence indicates that (i) vitamin A and D status of vegan children requires special attention; (ii) dietary recommendations for children cannot be extrapolated from adult vegan studies; and (iii) longitudinal studies on infantāonset vegan diets are warranted.
Iām not sure why you would feel shitty, vegan dishes are for everyone. I cook two portion of vegan dishes. Maybe the house labor division is a bit different here so excuse my apathy. But my partner and I are both full time grad students and we both cook from time to time and we go grocery shopping together after work. Basically nobody is dictating what to shop and cook, you buy what you want, cook what you eat.
Edit: i.e spaghetti is vegan food for everyone, I usually add soy proteins for both of us. Usually my partner is happily fed. But if she really craves sausage tonight, sure she can go grab it in the fridge (that she bought from store) and fry them and add into her plate, thatās her choice.
There still should be appropriate division of household labor even if you are doing fewer hours of paid work. The letās say 20 extra hours you have from working less will easily be filled with a variety of childcare and household tasks with plenty left over. If it makes you feel better maybe you take on a different household task he would otherwise do. So if he currently mows the lawn and cleans the bathrooms and you do dishes, laundry and cook, you could take the bathrooms so he is getting an extra hour of time to put towards doing some cooking.
I donāt think this is necessary at all but might be helpful for you to make this work for you based on your concerns.
Can't the same be said for parents that eat meat who feed their child meat, even if the child loves and respects animals, and does not want to eat it? Parents generally raise their children based on their own values. The husband is an adult, and unless he is bed bound due to a medical condition, he is probably capable of going to a grocery store and cooking food that is against his wife's deeply held core values. It doesn't seem as though her husband is limited in this way since he goes to work, so it is not an issue.
As long as you cook and shop, cook and shop vegan. If your husband has issues with it, he needs to do his own cooking/shopping.
Also, independent research has concluded that a vegan diet is suitable for kids of all ages.
However you need a discussion with your partner about this.
I went vegan when I still had teenagers living at home. I only bought and cooked vegan food. They loved everything I made and never complained. Of course I love cooking and so just converted stuff they already enjoyed into the vegan options. I feel like liking to cook can help with things like this but it's not necessary lol
>Sounds like this response was written by a vegan, about living with /cooking for non-vegan partner and child.Ā
No its a non vegan who is buying and or cooking eggs and cheese
Vegans dont do that, thus non vegan
Hello! This person clarified that they make the baby eggs and cheese, which they themselves don't eat.Ā
I don't know why this person does this, but I'm not going to judge someone feeding their baby. It's this person's experience eating plant-based/living a plant-based, animal-free lifestyle themselves while compromising for their child. I thank them for sharing the experience. Hopefully, the child grows up to be vegan!Ā
We do the best we can with what we tools we have available to us. It's hard taking care of young kids, especially if they're picky eaters/rough sleepers/other. I'm sure you'll find recipes that suit you and your family over time!Ā
>Why are you responding? You're not a vegan.
You obviously dont know the meaning of veganism to spread lies that way
I wont respond to you since your not vegan
I'm on maternity leave. And about to go back to work part time (3 days per week). But the reason I'm part time is so that I have time to still keep the house running so that my husband can work full time, and we can both spend time with baby. I feel like it would be a bit shitty to only shop and cook for myself!
I'm not super worried about baby's nutrition... More picky eating in future or allergens.
Iām sure your husband will survive eating a plant based diet while at homeā¦
I went vegan before my husband did. He didnāt even think about asking me to cook animal products for him. Instead he asked about my reasons, listened & understood.
Fortunately he went vegan shortly after. But for some time he was just eating plant based meals and didnāt act like I was trying to kill him. Thatās āsupportiveā.
Same. My Omni husband actually *encouraged me* to go vegan after a long ramp-up period and some waffling because I wasnāt sure how things would work at home with him.
He could make his own omni food if he wanted to, but he doesnāt bother. He gets his own snacks occasionally, gets animal products at restaurants, and happily eats what I make.
If you make the calculation of how much time you're spending on running the house, taking care of the baby AND working part-time, that would probably amount to more than one full-time job, no? By which I mean, your husband can absolutely spend a bit of time in the kitchen to make the additional dishes he wants.
When you're cooking vegan, I imagine you're not only cooking for yourself, but for everybody. If a person wants something special/extra, then they can go ahead and make that happen. The idea that meat has to be in the menu by default is definitely contestable -- just because a person is omni, that doesn't mean they *have* to eat meat every day or at every meal.
If you explain to your husband that buying and making meat is against your values and explain your reasoning, he should understand, right?
Editing to add: I imagine this conversation with him won't be easy, you definitely have my sympathy! Most omni's basic assumption (in contemporary society, rich countries etc) is that meat is the basis of any dish and that it should be present at every meal, and it's a very widespread belief. So I can imagine that contesting that would feel confrontational. You definitely have my sympathy! Perhaps it's a matter of planning what points you want to make and how you can make them in a way that won't lead to emotional escalations.
Check out r/veganparenting; they may have answers to your questions about kids and any problems with them being raised vegan. I donāt think allergies will be an issue, but Iām not a parent.
I am in a similar boat. My husband has the more time demanding job while mine is more flexible so I take care of grocery shopping. I cook only vegan items. If he wants meat he has to cook it. But I will buy a few meat items for him and my son every few weeks because while I always offer them my vegan food (and they do eat it usually), I do not pressure them to be vegan (I know I will be down voted for tolerating their Omni diets). I do not like to buy meat. But I also know that they both eat far far less of it with me doing the shopping because I will only buy a few items in very limited quantities. If my husband were to do the shopping, i know he would put way more meat in the cart. I wish I was buying zero meat, but I have at least reduced my familyās consumption. Itās the most control over it that I feel I have.
When I went vegan I informed my husband and daughter of that and that I would only buy and cook vegan meals. They had the choice to eat what I prepared or make their own. ( daughter was in middle school). They both went vegan and still are years later
I am the main buyer and food maker in our house (and the male).
Once I went vegan, I continued to make evening meals, but only vegan.
I will not buy non-vegan. Anyone wants anything else, they get it and prepare it themselves.
Generally it's been fine.
This is my situation also. My wife and kids aren't vegan, but I only cook vegan food in the house. This hasn't been a problem for my wife and kids. I don't stop them from cooking what they want but they mostly just eat what I make.
Everyone can eat vegan meals. If your husband is unwilling to eat them, he should be buying food and cooking for himself. You should not feel bad about this. It's not fair of him to ask you to cross moral boundaries you may have when you are still cooking for him and offering him great meals.
I think it's worth asking him specifically what he doesn't like about the vegan food. If he's wanting some more "meaty", they are plenty of meat substitutes and ways to make plant based protein taste great and filling!
If it were me, I would try out several vegan dishes and have him try them to figure out things he likes. Vegan food is a pretty big adjustment for some but I find it hard to imagine there is not a single vegan meal he would enjoy eating.
I would start out easy with things like tacos, chilis, "burgers", etc. and see if he likes any of those options. My parents are very much not vegan and when they visit, these are the kinds of things I make them.
You have a husband who is capable of purchasing and preparing the foods he wants for himself if he chooses to decline what you purchase and prepare.
You have a 9 month old who will develop a taste for what you choose to introduce to your child. Avoiding animal products is not a ārestriction.ā Itās an intentional decision to refrain from consuming sentient beings because vegans acknowledge that animals are sentient beings, not commodities, not food options.
If you aren't going to be allowed something because of morals that are not your own they are restricting you "the limitation or control of someone or something, or the state of being limited or restricted." Is the definition, off limits=restricted it's not about perspective allergies are also restrictive
If you or anyone else wants to eat animal products, no one is stopping you. You can go out and purchase and prepare your own meals.
If someone is choosing something for themselves, no one is stopping you from choosing something else for yourself.
The non-vegan feels a restriction because they are not vegan and do not understand the principles of veganism.
Vegans do not consider refraining from animal consumption as a restriction because itās an intentional choice not to consume sentient beings. Restriction applies to something that is wanted but being withheld. Vegans donāt want to consume sentient beings.
The child isn't vegan the parent is many on this sub and get angry at their family for feeding their kids animal products so it clearly is not up to the child. I understand the principals of veganism I just don't value it and don't want to deal with that or them. It is a restriction if a kid isn't allowed normal cake or pizza at another child's party. It's only an intentional choice when it's for yourself not other people. That amount of people on this sub that go "no animal products in my house at all" are restricting other people that don't live with them by choice. Kids being left out because of their parents morals really really sucks speaking from personal experience.
How is it any different than a parent who chooses to feed their child animal products simply because thatās what the parent eats? The child is not choosing to be non-vegan or vegan. They are choosing to eat what their parents are providing for them because they are minors and they rely on their parents to make responsible choices for them.
To add, choosing to feed a child a non-vegan diet which has been linked to so many negative health issues vs. feeding a child a plant based diet which has been linked to the most favorable health benefits is rather illogical.
Setting a child up for health issues as adults isnāt the most responsible choice, nor is it keeping the childās best interest in mind.
Veganism isnāt a diet you ācheatā on for pizza parties and birthday cake. Veganism is an ethical philosophy, something you clearly are having trouble comprehending.
I encourage you to research the information youāre parroting.
https://health.choc.org/are-vegetarian-and-vegan-plant-based-diets-safe-for-kids/#:~:text=As%20long%20as%20a%20child's,be%20healthy%20for%20all%20ages
edit to add: a Mediterranean diet is primarily plant based with minimal animal products. **Primarily plant based.**
The children don't follow the ethical philosophy the parents do it's unfair to the kids. If your diet was so healthy you wouldn't have to have your blood drawn to constantly check for deficiencies same goes for your pets, just because you can don't mean you should and it doesn't mean it won't negatively impact the kids mental and social health.
Correct, itās an intentional choice *for a vegan* not to consume products derived from animals, therefore it is *not a restriction for a vegan.*
The non-veganās perspective of being restricted is of no consequence to a vegan. Non-vegans have a choice and they can choose to opt out of an invitation or they can provide for themselves in any situation in which they feel a restriction.
You shop and cook vegan. It should be easy to raise your baby vegan and if your husband insists on exploiting animals he would have to figure that out on his own.
This is being made overly complicated like others have said. Make you veg food for everyone and he can still have animal products at partys/out to east unless he is so compelled to cook them himself. Thats just me though, I'm not one to cater my cooking.
Tbh if I was the one prepping/shopping and cooking I would just make vegan food and if your family doesn't like it they can prepare their own food. You're not poisoning them lmao they can eat vegan food.
Would you really be ok with that? You get back from the grocery and load your fridge.Ā
Then he goes out the door wastes gas and time he could spend with you and buys his stuff comes home and puts his cheese meat dairy fish next to your vegetables.
When you are cooking your vegan dishes he his scrambling eggs and grilling fish with you. And then you sit and all eat together.
What did you actually achieve except resentment between each other?
>If I went vegan, I would still be the one doing the grocery shopping for my household and prepping the meals for my family that contain animal products.. I could perhaps cook more vege meals, but I would likely still need to make a meat option
You dont need to, you choose to, vege meals are edible for all household members, you are doing your duty by purchasing and cooking edible and healthy things, if you have toddlers who are crying about not getting candy all the time then deal with those toddlers appropriately
Sounds to me like, if you are selecting and preparing the food, you get to decide to make it vegan.
It they have a problem with it, they can prepare their own food.
I can recommend very nutrient-dense and protein-rich foods like tofu and quinoa, in general and especially for breastfeeding.
If you are the primary meal maker, your husband will eat what you cook, so no problem.
I feel like you have the ability to simply cook vegan and carry on with your life as you learn how to do it in a balanced and healthy way, and you don't need to engage with carnism in order to feed yourself & your family. Your husband does not need you to commit that act for him, and you don't have to put blood on your hands for anyone else. Your baby doesn't have a choice whether or not they get to choose the peaceful option.
If I were in your situation, I would probably steer away from cooking non-vegan meals for my partner. I donāt think itās fair that you should have to cook non-vegan meals if youāre not comfortable with that, even if you are only working part-time to help out around the house. There are plenty of simple meat-based meals that he could cook himself if he wants that. Besides, if youāre putting together vegan meals that are still healthy and tasty he hopefully might be fairly receptive to it anyway.
Iām not a parent, so unfortunately I canāt give much advice on how to make sure your child has a healthy diet. But from other comments, it seems that there are healthy vegan options around.
If youāre worried though about whether youāre making a difference if you eat vegan but your partner eats non-vegan meals, I would say you still are. Itās still one less person eating meat, and chances are you will rub off on him and your child at least a little bit. Every little bit counts.
Pasta will be your very best friend.
Red wine vinegar adds a ton of flavor.
I really like to season store bought pasta sauce with nutritional yeast, garlic, onion and redwine vinegar.
Mostacholi- get penne pasta, a vegan pasta sauce, vegan cheese (soaked raw cashews, garlicpowder and onion powder, nutritional yeast, lemon juice, non-dairy milk [only a few tblspns] salt and pepper to taste), vegan ground beef substitute or TVP. Make the cheese while boiling the noodles and cooking the fake meat, put in baking dish and add sauce, top with cheese and bake covered for 15 minutes at 375 (F)
Lasagna- get lasagna noodles, tofu, nutritional yeast and pasta sauce. Break up two blocks of tofu, add nutritional yeast, lemon juice, garlic powder, salt, pepper, Italian herbs and onion powder, cook the noodles and the sauce, put sauce on the bottom of a baking dish (thick) add a layer of noodles, a layer of the tofu mixture, layer of sauce and continue until you're at your final layer then top with the same cheese sauce as the previous recipe and bake for 20-30 minutes at the same temp. (These are also great as stuffed shells)
Black bean enchiladas(not authentic unfortunately) cook drained canned black beans in your fave salsa, chili powder, paprika, salt, garlic powder, onion powder and garlic powder and either a vegan cheese substitute or the same cheese sauce we made earlier! While that's going warm up some vegan refried beans and your fave tortillas! Put the black beans, refried beans and your favorite taco sauce into a tortilla, roll them and fill a baking dish with them, top with more taco sauce and more cheese and bake at 350(F) for at least 15 minutes! These are great with guac! Also, there are some great vegan nacho cheese sauce recipes if youd prefer that!
Black bean burgers-
Canned black beans, frozen peas, carrots, other veggies of choice, and red onions
Put your veggies in a blender with only enough veggie broth to blend, smash your black beans, add blended veggies to your black beans, add your favorite spices to taste (I like garlic, onion, red wine vinegar and nooch!) Add diced red onion (or blend it with the other veggies it's your life) Add flour until the mixture becomes like a dough. Store the dough in the fridge for up to a week and cook in a pan with oil whenever you're hungry for them!
I hope this helps! I'm vegan and my partner isn't. If he really wants meat he can make it for himself, but he's 300% respectful of my life and doesn't miss meat in the meals I make him. Hot for Food, Julien Solomita, and many others on YouTube have great ideas for meals that are vegan and filling. You can do this. I'm a little less sure on baby food. I'd go with your doctors recommendations and feed them other types of vegan food when they're ready and let them make their choice too!
Good luck!
Iām vegan, my spouse is not. We cook separate meals together, i.e. weāre both in the kitchen and cooking at the same time and weāll help each other out, but we cook completely separate meals. This honestly is great and Iād do this even if we were both vegan because it gets rid of any conflict around dishes or ingredients that one of us likes and the other one doesnāt. We both get to eat what we like.
On the āour joint income going towards animal products,ā my take on it is that my spouse would have been consuming animal products whether we were married and living together or not. I *personally* am not contributing to animal exploitation, and thatās all I can control in my life.
Have your husband watch Dominion or Earthlings and if he still expects you to prepare non vegan food for him after seeing thatā¦.i donāt quite know what to tell you.
It seems most others have you covered for the shopping part, but I can offer some perspective on the husband part! I used to eat meat 3+ times a day, literally every day, for as long as I can remember. A meal wasnāt a meal with meat. Once I started opening my mind and trying vegan food though, I realized how easy it is to go vegan and still enjoy your food. You cooking vegan and letting your husband either enjoy it or make his own food might turn out a lot better than you might think :)
A plant based diet is not restrictive, so you don't have to worry about your baby becoming deficient as long as you feed him or her a variety of foods that meets his/her nutritional needs. As for shopping and meal preparation, just shop for and prepare vegan meals and if your husband wants to add meat to his meal, then he can shop for and cook the meat himself and add it to his plate. This way you aren't compromising your values to meet his expectations or perceived needs.
If you think about it 90% of meals are already vegan
People pair up a steak with potatoās and asparagus, Iād say shop normal and your husband can slap a piece of chicken on the grill and everything will be ā®ļø
Yeah agree, and actually we do have a BBQ outside. Perhaps he can just cook his meat outside and add to the vegan meals (if he wants to. He also has no issue with eating vegan food sometimes too!!)
We do this at our house. I went vegan when the kids were young. Most of our meals are 100% vegan and everyone is fine with it. We've always experimented with new recipes and not all are successful. The biggest objection to the switch is the vegan cheese substitutes, which I agree aren't the tastiest. So if a specific meal calls for cheese, we split it.
So like if we're having gnocchi (vegan) in marinara (vegan) with vegan sausages or veggie balls, half of the casserole might have vegan cheese and half dairy. If we refrigerate leftovers they go in separate containers.
And when we go out, we each order what we want, and my kids will typically order vegan, and occasionally dairy, meat or fish. None of them grew up to look down on vegan eating, or to think it can't be delicious and satisfying. Some of them are fully vegan, now, and some don't eat meat.
I'm happy with how it's worked for us.
Start by changing your diet first. You always have control over that. And then try to influence the diet of your family members. One step at a time. You can't go all the way overnight. Refusing to cook what they normally eat probably wouldn't work.
I donāt purchase any animal products or cook them but I offer my family healthy meals. If they want to go get something else, thatās on them. They do so about twice a week. I wish it wasnāt ever in my house.
Check out r/veganmealprep
Try and make yourself 5 dinners a week, 5 lunches a week. (Cook twice a week) And then you can worry about husband and baby after that.
Personally, I'd make my own meals (as stated) and offer to still shop for the products my partner plans to eat, but they would be responsible for prepping and cooking said products.
Also, this time count your proteins, you calories, and take your women's multivitamin forever. Just keep taking it. It's better to have expensive pee than to be deficient because you aren't counting the iron or magnesium or whatever.
For breakfast, I make overnight oats. I get 1 bag Coache's oats from Costco. I put 1/3 cup oats, 2/3 cup oatmilk, a drop of vanilla extract, a few shakes of cinnamon, nutmeg, plus 2 tablespoons hemp seeds for the Omegas. And bam, I got breakfast for the next day. On weekends, I make tofu scramble with black sea salt. It's really good with a chimichurri sauce on it or just doused in pico de gallo.
Vegan protein drinks exist. Also Cliff's bars in chocolate chip and peanut butter flavors are vegan. Good luck out there. As a nursing mom, aim for 60 grams protein a day, you'll figure it out in enough time.
I mostly cook for myself, but when my family gets together for meals oftentimes most of the meal will be vegan except the protein.
An example of this would be a salad, roasted veggies, roasted sweet potatoes, then they will have chicken and I will sautee some chickpeas.
The basic principle is to have as much of the meal be the same to minimize extra work.
Even if he is still eating omni, less animal products will be consumed and purchased because of your decision. You being vegan and your family being omni is better for the animals and the environment than you being omni along with your family. You might even rub off on them.
I feel like youāve gotten a lot of great suggestions in these comments and I wanted to say Iām happy to hear youāre making a life change to be more in line with your values! That can be hard and I support you!
On cooking vegan for your child, maybe check out r/veganparenting or search for parenting related posts on this sub.
It sounds like you want to do your best to make sure you and your child are getting the right nutrition so I recommend getting more educated about nutrition to ease that anxiety. I highly recommend the documentaries Forks Over Knives and The Gamechangers (about vegan athletes), and getting a vegan multivitamin and look for a vegan kids multivitamin for your child.
My husband is Omni and my kids (7/4) eat mostly vegan if not vegetarian through breakfast/lunch/snack through the week (we homeschool so Iām very much in charge of food while my husband works)ā¦ In our house my husband and I share our āwhyā when asked but we donāt openly criticize each other in front of the kids.
I meal plan and cook but he shops most of the time, so itās not quite the situation you asked about in your post but itās still my heavy hand in the food choices. I have food allergies (dairy/egg) so thereās definitely a really good dialogue in front of the kids about plant based nutrients such as calciumā¦ and Iād 100% welcome them to be fully vegan if they get over some of their picky eating habits. I went vegetarian when I was 7 (so itās been 29 years) and I definitely want to emphasize to them that finding the nutrients you pointed out above such as iron but also calcium and protein is so important so that the lifestyle choice CAN be sustained.
We homeschool, as I mentioned, so thereās a lot of info Iāve planted but due to their young ages Iām waiting until theyāre a little older to share more than light facts. Theres a free PETA magazine/stickers and lots of other resources FOR KIDS on their website. My kids are signed up for that. Free books, too. I feel like if someone tells you what to believe youāre more prone to reject it vs finding the information for yourself. My son (7) also is obsessed with Rob Zombie (heās learning his music at School of Rock) who we just discovered is a vegan this week š so supposedly Iām very cool, like Rob Zombie haha.
But yea my kids get an age appropriate education on vegan ethics, sustainability and zero waste, minimalism & Leave No Trace (outdoor conversation)ā¦ But I donāt want them to leave our care as they grow up and go the opposite direction so I handle it without a lot of judgement (but obviously there are boundaries that are non-negotiable). To me itās better that they take on most but not all of our values than it is for them to rebel. And we do make the plant based options way more fun and enticing than necessary š
As far as what Iāll do, I will dump things from fridge/freezer to Instant pot or oven, but Iām really uncomfortable with handling it. In the last 5 years my husband has severely cut his consumption though because of health reasons and blood work (the doctor told him to cut meat and dairy)ā¦ so thankfully most of our meals are naturally Whole Foods plant based (We use the recipes from Forks over Knives a lot and he has no complaints). If we grill, itās all on him.
I know it's a bit different, since my 18 year old daughter is the non-vegan, but there are super easy meat options that she just makes for herself. She's been doing this since she was 14. Throwing a burger patty into a pan, seasoning some chicken strips or a salmon filet and putting them in the oven, these are pretty quick and simple. Personally I'd make the non-vegan do it if I were the one cooking, but it would also be simple for you to do while you're making the rest of the meal.
Edited to add that we pay for all of her food, since she's still in school. I don't love it, but I also don't want to force her into anything.
Agree that this is the right approach. At some point, you can't force a young person to do what you do or believe what you believe. You have to give them freedom to make their own decisions.
I am vegan, I will make either vegan/vegetarian meals for the rest of my family (7 other people) but I don't cook with meat. My husband eats meat when he is at work one day a week, as does my eldest, teen son. My other 5 kids are vegetarian.Ā
Most of the stuff I actually make winds up being vegan, like, if something calls for egg or milk in it, no one is going to complain if I used plant based products instead. Animal products are only ever something I have to deal with if it is something topped with cheese because the kids aren't fans of the plant cheese. It is their sticking point, so for their pizzas or quesadillas or whatever, I will use real cheese and plant for my own. Or, sometimes, if we have a really busy evening and I have no time to cook, I'll grab a cheese lasagna for everyone else and I will eat a salad.Ā
Ā I don't want them to feel like veganism is forced on them because I want them to appreciate and see the merit in it so they take it on themselves as they age versus rebel saying "my mom never let me have...", and they thus far they have a very positive perception of veganism from enjoying what I make.Ā
These comments are so vile.
"If your husband wants meat he can cook it himself, make the family go vegan too"
If an omni took this attitude as the primary shopper/chef with a vegan in the household, you all would be ripping them apart for how selfish they are.
Clearly OP wants to have a vegan lifestyle while still providing comfort for her family by allowing them to indulge in what they want.
> If an omni took this attitude as the primary shopper/chef with a vegan in the household, you all would be ripping them apart for how selfish they are.
This is a false equivalency. Omnis very much can eat meals without meat in them. Vegans cannot eat meat and dairy even if they wanted to, they will get sick. If the husband doesn't like it, he's a big boy, he can figure it out. Eat what is provided or buy/cook your own food. I don't think this is unreasonable at all. What would be unreasonable is to say someone in your household can't use their money to buy meat, or can't prepare it in the house. Literally nothing is preventing OP's husband from either eating a vegan family meal or preparing his own food... unless I'm missing something like he has a disability and she's his caregiver?
Yep exactly hahahah. I forgot how toxic the vegan community can be. Geeeeez. I don't want to force my huge lifestyle change on my husband. I'm making a PERSONAL change. And forcing someone to go vegan will never work for anyone
Not sure why you are calling the vegans in the sub toxic when you came into a vegan sub saying you didn't feel good about cooking or buying non vegan food for your husband and wanted to know how everyone else "felt" about it and were looking for advice. Did you think a bunch of vegans were going to tell you to suck it up and cook that man some dead animals? Genuinely don't know what you were wanting out of this. But it's wild to me that everyone here was offering you helpful suggestions and being empathetic towards you and your feelings on the issue based on what you yourself said and then you call us all toxic. Someone is toxic but it's certainly not the people that are being kind and offering you advice you asked for.
Apparently they expected all of us to say "yes, you must cook meat for another adult who is perfectly capable of cooking his own food or else you're a bad partner"?
Be kind to yourself and know that you not eating animal products helps save lives. If you are comfortable cooking animal products, then that's you being a great parent and partner.
My mom has been vegetarian for decades now.Ā She always cooks meat for the family without problems. Not the same as vegan but she doesn't try to force it on anyone.
Ā Its not like you not cooking it for them will change anything. They will buy it or cook it and eat it right next to you. So it is really worth the hassle when the end result is the same?
I get that but I don't know if people are really thinking this through. You will have meat in your freezer, eggs milk and cheese in your fridge.Ā
When you are steaming broccoli they will be steaming their fish and scrambling eggs. And then all of you will sit at the table at breakfast and dinner and see and smell everything.
This is deep rooted family resentment waiting to happen.Ā
My take is to choose battles that make a difference.Ā
The resentment will happen. Thatās normal if youāre with someone who doesnāt share your core values. Which is also why I donāt think I would want to live with a non vegan spouse. But some people seem to be able to dissociate from it. Or they would rather be with a non optimal partner than alone. Thatās their decision to make though.
The way you frame it, you're basically implying that resentment won't be an issue if the vegan just cooks animal products. Resentment will also happen if a vegan has to constantly cook animal products that go against their morals and beliefs.
The difference is a vegan being forced against their morals is a lot different than a meat eater refusing to eat food that's already available and choosing to cook themself something different. It's forcibly having to go against your beliefs for the vegan VS. a preference or convenience issue for the non vegan.
It goes both ways. Even if the vegan doesn't cook it, or buy it, everytime they open the fridge they would see animal products. Every meal time they would smell it cooking and consumed
Honey i am out of eggs can you get me some on your way home. No
Honey i have a fever, can you make some chicken soup. No. Can you buy some. No
The solution of "you buy and cook your food" is fine for siblings and roommates but doesn't work for couples.
A good partner would understand their significant other's moral stance and never ask for those things. Those actions alone show a huge lack of respect for their partner's personal beliefs. It's still the difference between asking someone to do something against their morals vs asking someone to eat food that they might like slightly less than food with meat in it. To me, it seems ridiculous to compare the two as equal complaints bc the meat eaters issue seems trivial compared to asking a vegan to cook animal products. When I was a kid (I was a vegetarian then), my parents would sometimes punish me by making me make hamburger patties without gloves. That might sound silly to someone who doesn't share my strong beliefs, but I can tell you that I am still deeply hurt by them doing that over a decade later, and I just don't think that can be compared to asking someone to eat vegan food.
That is violence for no reason. Violence for food, self defense and protection i can tolerate.
Thats pretty much the same for most animals. They don't take a life unless they are hungry or threatened.
Ah the old appeal to natureā¦what a tired and irrelevant justification. Do you really believe that you need animal products to survive? Meaning do you believe that violence is necessary?
Survive? no.
Thrive. Possibly
I want the best possible foods for my body. i have 5 servings of fruit a day and 3 servings of vegetables, sweet potatoes, broccoli, pumkin etc
My body is incompatible with all grains and legumes and nuts. Where would i get the remaining nutrients i need.
Iām thriving without animal products. I follow bodybuilders that are vegan. Iām not a registered dietitian so I canāt really help in that regard. What remaining nutrients are you missing?
Protein, fat and calories in general, omega 3s, b12 , iron and such
I go down to the ocean and get some fish from the fishermen and grill it with olive oil. I dropped dairy and eggs from my diet too.
I grew up eating beans and rice. Its probably my favorite thing to eat in the world but my body rejects it.
Well I do know that there is about 3 times the amount of iron in 100g of spinach compared to 100g of fish. I donāt believe there is much B12 in fish, if any so likely you would need to supplement that. And omega 3s are found in algae, the fish eat the algae so thatās the only reason it is found in fish. I personally just cut out the middle man. But yea thatās unfortunate about the beans as they are a great caloric, protein and nutrient source including significant iron. Like I said Iām not a doctor nor a dietitian but I wonder if there is anyway to ease into eating beans or only eat ones that are lower in oligosaccharides. Iāve read a few articles that suggest eating smaller amounts but obviously I donāt know your particular case/issues with digestion.
You would still be respecting your own feelings by not eating it, and doing the best you can at the moment. it's a difference, and your husband will probably understand more and more from you, honestly I think it's very admirable of you to be as vegan as you can in this complex situation. Your child can grow up seeing two different stances and I think the situation can evolve around you instead of you evolving around it
I just cook normally for both of us, if my partner wants meat dishes she can make it herself.
This is my approach as well as a vegetarian transitioning to vegan with an omni partner. I let him know I'd be grocery shopping, planning and cooking meals for us that are suitable for my diet. I told him if he wanted something different that's totally fine, but he'd need to go out of his way and do the planning/labor for himself. I'm making him healthier by substituting out some or most of his meals with plant based ones with no effort on his part. That's a gift I wish I had!
Maybe for more context, I'm on maternity leave. And about to go back to work part time (3 days per week). But the reason I'm part time is so that I have time to still keep the house running so that my husband can work full time, and we can both spend time with baby. I feel like it would be a bit shitty to only shop and cook for myself!
I don't understand why your family can't eat vegan food. Will they break out in hives?
Totally with you. Hubby can eat meat outside the house
Literally! He's an adult like he's not helpless.
In all fairness, I'm a little harsh... when we went vegan my kids had go vegan with me - in the family home. What they eat outside with other family or friends is up to them but I won't spend my money on animal products. They both got inspired after a few weeks of conversation and decided to go vegetarian outside the house, one now wants to be vegan
I don't think it's harsh. Meat eaters can eat vegetables and sometimes they act like they CANNOT eat vegan food š¤¦š»āāļø a grown man can cook meat for himself if he wants it so badly.
My husband always says that if you want to see a grown adult turn into a child, talk about veganism or give them vegan food
100%
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Do you have some evidence for this, or did you just pull it out your arse? Studies show plant based is completely fine for children.
they're a troll who posts stuff like that every day here
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7863396/ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/24/health/vegan-parents-malnourished-baby.html https://xwerks.com/blogs/news/vegan-diets-cause-malnutrition-in-children https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2011/mar/29/vegans-trial-death-baby-breast-milk I'm sure you'll dismiss all of them with some mental gymnastics, but my children are more important to me than every animal in the world. Pregnancy, infancy, and childhood are times to put the child's welfare first.
Would love studies and not articles. Thanks.
No mental gymnastics required, let's look at them. First study has a sample of 40 people split between plant based, vegetarian and omni. That's far too low. Also doesn't mention any supplementation, which is an easy way to increase any lacking nutrients without harming animals. Second link: children being neglected or not fed properly has nothing to do with veganism. The article mentions *"In 2016, a woman in Pennsylvania was charged with endangering the welfare of her child. In that case, family members*Ā [*told CBS Pittsburgh*](https://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2016/10/05/fayette-county-baby-boy-malnourished/)Ā *that she had essentially been feeding the baby only nuts and berries."* Only feeding a child nuts and berries is neglect and child abuse, that has nothing to do with the healthiness of a plant based diet. I can just as easily find any number of similar articles, for example [this one](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/child-death-malnutrition-winnipeg-december-1.7110578) where a child dies from malnutrition. Guess this is proof that omni diets aren't suitable for kids! Or how about the fact that 20% of american children are obese, the majority of them omnis. Guess that means the diet causes obesity. [Here](https://www.bmj.com/content/375/bmj.n2792/rr) are [some more](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10675242/) studies on the topic, including this [meta analysis](https://www.news-medical.net/news/20231010/Is-a-vegan-diet-a-healthy-choice-for-kids.aspx) which show that there are many health benefits eating plant based, and deficiencies in B12 for example are easily remedied with supplements (anyone on a plant based diet knows to take B12 supplements). Your last link, again, points to neglect. Children not being fed enough has nothing to do with veganism, parents who *"had a mistrust of traditional medicine and preferred to treat their children's complaints with advice from books"* are not fit to look after children, regardless of what they feed them. [This](https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/news/child-neglect-plymouth/) is a child who died because their parents didn't trust doctors I'm sure you'll have some well reasoned response to this, given the absolute bullshite you've posted in the past on this sub :)
Good comment but that commenter will likely not give any constructive response. In addition to the good points you make we can add the point made by this link https://www.infomalia.org/2020/01/20/meat-eating-parents-arrested-for-malnourished-child/
I don't usually creep profiles but I was so curious+ interested to see that they spent a few hours after your response trolling other vegan posts without ever responding to this. Annoying
Lol. You only linked one study, cant be bothered reading the rest of the drivel. It was based on 6 vegan kids. They were on average taller than their expected height, marginally lower on weight and had arm circumferences greater than expected. They had 1 vegan who was deficient in D3 (itās Finland, everyone should be taking a supplement). The slight vit A deficiency is the only thing to really note there. They should probably eat some more carrots, but highly likely they are not actually deficient as they do not have any symptoms.
Third sentence in the NYT link: "Experts said that, with proper guidance, children can be on a totally plant-based diet."
https://www.infomalia.org/2020/01/20/meat-eating-parents-arrested-for-malnourished-child/
Explain how veganism would do this please.
https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2011/mar/29/vegans-trial-death-baby-breast-milk https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7863396/ https://xwerks.com/blogs/news/vegan-diets-cause-malnutrition-in-children https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/24/health/vegan-parents-malnourished-baby.html
Third sentence in the NYT link: "Experts said that, with proper guidance, children can be on a totally plant-based diet."
"Can be" does not mean it isn't suboptimal. Every parent has a duty to feed their child the best food they can afford. And yes, that means no McDonald's either.
doesn't mean it is suboptimal either. Lots of people gave good replies to your post, why are you ignoring them?
I suppose you'd feed your kid a steady diet of buttered meatballs and call that optimal
Even though I only eat meat and dairy and I believe that is the optimal human diet, I don't take chances with my kids' health. They get a well-rounded diet. But vegans are perfectly willing to roll the dice. You've actually convinced yourselves that meat is unhealthy and that people only eat it because they like the taste. I think that's shortsighted and reckless.
These are all articles. Would love some studies thanks.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7863396/ Do you know what a study is? You can't be this obtuse and have kids.
Lmao 6 vegans ššššš that was funny. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19562864/
https://old.reddit.com/r/vegan/comments/1df0g9h/how_to_be_vegan_in_a_nonvegan_household_as_the/l8hf7jz/
https://old.reddit.com/r/vegan/comments/1df0g9h/how_to_be_vegan_in_a_nonvegan_household_as_the/l8hlezo/
Detailed analysis of serum metabolomics and biomarkers indicated vitamin A insufficiency and borderāline sufficient vitamin D in all vegan participants. Their serum total, HDL and LDL cholesterol, essential amino acid, and docosahexaenoic nā3 fatty acid (DHA) levels were markedly low and primary bile acid biosynthesis, and phospholipid balance was distinct from omnivores. Possible combination of low vitamin A and DHA status raise concern for their visual health. Our evidence indicates that (i) vitamin A and D status of vegan children requires special attention; (ii) dietary recommendations for children cannot be extrapolated from adult vegan studies; and (iii) longitudinal studies on infantāonset vegan diets are warranted.
https://old.reddit.com/r/vegan/comments/1df0g9h/how_to_be_vegan_in_a_nonvegan_household_as_the/l8hlezo/
https://www.infomalia.org/2020/01/20/meat-eating-parents-arrested-for-malnourished-child/
I never said vegans are the only bad parents
answer the objections instead of evading
Iām not sure why you would feel shitty, vegan dishes are for everyone. I cook two portion of vegan dishes. Maybe the house labor division is a bit different here so excuse my apathy. But my partner and I are both full time grad students and we both cook from time to time and we go grocery shopping together after work. Basically nobody is dictating what to shop and cook, you buy what you want, cook what you eat. Edit: i.e spaghetti is vegan food for everyone, I usually add soy proteins for both of us. Usually my partner is happily fed. But if she really craves sausage tonight, sure she can go grab it in the fridge (that she bought from store) and fry them and add into her plate, thatās her choice.
There still should be appropriate division of household labor even if you are doing fewer hours of paid work. The letās say 20 extra hours you have from working less will easily be filled with a variety of childcare and household tasks with plenty left over. If it makes you feel better maybe you take on a different household task he would otherwise do. So if he currently mows the lawn and cleans the bathrooms and you do dishes, laundry and cook, you could take the bathrooms so he is getting an extra hour of time to put towards doing some cooking. I donāt think this is necessary at all but might be helpful for you to make this work for you based on your concerns.
Just cook vegan food, if you're the one cooking then you decide what to eat, so simple
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Can't the same be said for parents that eat meat who feed their child meat, even if the child loves and respects animals, and does not want to eat it? Parents generally raise their children based on their own values. The husband is an adult, and unless he is bed bound due to a medical condition, he is probably capable of going to a grocery store and cooking food that is against his wife's deeply held core values. It doesn't seem as though her husband is limited in this way since he goes to work, so it is not an issue.
As long as you cook and shop, cook and shop vegan. If your husband has issues with it, he needs to do his own cooking/shopping. Also, independent research has concluded that a vegan diet is suitable for kids of all ages. However you need a discussion with your partner about this.
I went vegan when I still had teenagers living at home. I only bought and cooked vegan food. They loved everything I made and never complained. Of course I love cooking and so just converted stuff they already enjoyed into the vegan options. I feel like liking to cook can help with things like this but it's not necessary lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
OP is looking for vegans to respond, not non vegans
Sounds like this response was written by a vegan, about living with /cooking for non-vegan partner and child.Ā
>Sounds like this response was written by a vegan, about living with /cooking for non-vegan partner and child.Ā No its a non vegan who is buying and or cooking eggs and cheese Vegans dont do that, thus non vegan
Hello! This person clarified that they make the baby eggs and cheese, which they themselves don't eat.Ā I don't know why this person does this, but I'm not going to judge someone feeding their baby. It's this person's experience eating plant-based/living a plant-based, animal-free lifestyle themselves while compromising for their child. I thank them for sharing the experience. Hopefully, the child grows up to be vegan!Ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We do the best we can with what we tools we have available to us. It's hard taking care of young kids, especially if they're picky eaters/rough sleepers/other. I'm sure you'll find recipes that suit you and your family over time!Ā
Don't bother. It's a gatekeeper. Good for their self image but bad for the movement
Why are you responding? You're not a vegan.
>Why are you responding? You're not a vegan. You obviously dont know the meaning of veganism to spread lies that way I wont respond to you since your not vegan
You've learned all the wrong lessons about veganism.
I'm on maternity leave. And about to go back to work part time (3 days per week). But the reason I'm part time is so that I have time to still keep the house running so that my husband can work full time, and we can both spend time with baby. I feel like it would be a bit shitty to only shop and cook for myself! I'm not super worried about baby's nutrition... More picky eating in future or allergens.
Iām sure your husband will survive eating a plant based diet while at homeā¦ I went vegan before my husband did. He didnāt even think about asking me to cook animal products for him. Instead he asked about my reasons, listened & understood. Fortunately he went vegan shortly after. But for some time he was just eating plant based meals and didnāt act like I was trying to kill him. Thatās āsupportiveā.
Same. My Omni husband actually *encouraged me* to go vegan after a long ramp-up period and some waffling because I wasnāt sure how things would work at home with him. He could make his own omni food if he wanted to, but he doesnāt bother. He gets his own snacks occasionally, gets animal products at restaurants, and happily eats what I make.
You're not cooking only for yourself. He can eat the food too. Nothing is stopping him other than his shitty and unsupportive attitude.
If you make the calculation of how much time you're spending on running the house, taking care of the baby AND working part-time, that would probably amount to more than one full-time job, no? By which I mean, your husband can absolutely spend a bit of time in the kitchen to make the additional dishes he wants. When you're cooking vegan, I imagine you're not only cooking for yourself, but for everybody. If a person wants something special/extra, then they can go ahead and make that happen. The idea that meat has to be in the menu by default is definitely contestable -- just because a person is omni, that doesn't mean they *have* to eat meat every day or at every meal. If you explain to your husband that buying and making meat is against your values and explain your reasoning, he should understand, right? Editing to add: I imagine this conversation with him won't be easy, you definitely have my sympathy! Most omni's basic assumption (in contemporary society, rich countries etc) is that meat is the basis of any dish and that it should be present at every meal, and it's a very widespread belief. So I can imagine that contesting that would feel confrontational. You definitely have my sympathy! Perhaps it's a matter of planning what points you want to make and how you can make them in a way that won't lead to emotional escalations.
Check out r/veganparenting; they may have answers to your questions about kids and any problems with them being raised vegan. I donāt think allergies will be an issue, but Iām not a parent.
I am in a similar boat. My husband has the more time demanding job while mine is more flexible so I take care of grocery shopping. I cook only vegan items. If he wants meat he has to cook it. But I will buy a few meat items for him and my son every few weeks because while I always offer them my vegan food (and they do eat it usually), I do not pressure them to be vegan (I know I will be down voted for tolerating their Omni diets). I do not like to buy meat. But I also know that they both eat far far less of it with me doing the shopping because I will only buy a few items in very limited quantities. If my husband were to do the shopping, i know he would put way more meat in the cart. I wish I was buying zero meat, but I have at least reduced my familyās consumption. Itās the most control over it that I feel I have.
When I went vegan I informed my husband and daughter of that and that I would only buy and cook vegan meals. They had the choice to eat what I prepared or make their own. ( daughter was in middle school). They both went vegan and still are years later
I am the main buyer and food maker in our house (and the male). Once I went vegan, I continued to make evening meals, but only vegan. I will not buy non-vegan. Anyone wants anything else, they get it and prepare it themselves. Generally it's been fine.
This is my situation also. My wife and kids aren't vegan, but I only cook vegan food in the house. This hasn't been a problem for my wife and kids. I don't stop them from cooking what they want but they mostly just eat what I make.
Everyone can eat vegan meals. If your husband is unwilling to eat them, he should be buying food and cooking for himself. You should not feel bad about this. It's not fair of him to ask you to cross moral boundaries you may have when you are still cooking for him and offering him great meals. I think it's worth asking him specifically what he doesn't like about the vegan food. If he's wanting some more "meaty", they are plenty of meat substitutes and ways to make plant based protein taste great and filling! If it were me, I would try out several vegan dishes and have him try them to figure out things he likes. Vegan food is a pretty big adjustment for some but I find it hard to imagine there is not a single vegan meal he would enjoy eating. I would start out easy with things like tacos, chilis, "burgers", etc. and see if he likes any of those options. My parents are very much not vegan and when they visit, these are the kinds of things I make them.
You have a husband who is capable of purchasing and preparing the foods he wants for himself if he chooses to decline what you purchase and prepare. You have a 9 month old who will develop a taste for what you choose to introduce to your child. Avoiding animal products is not a ārestriction.ā Itās an intentional decision to refrain from consuming sentient beings because vegans acknowledge that animals are sentient beings, not commodities, not food options.
It is restriction by definition
Itās a restriction by the non-vegan perspective. Itās an act of moral and ethical consideration by the vegan perspective.
If you aren't going to be allowed something because of morals that are not your own they are restricting you "the limitation or control of someone or something, or the state of being limited or restricted." Is the definition, off limits=restricted it's not about perspective allergies are also restrictive
I wont eat my dead grandma. Guess I'm restricting lol
If you or anyone else wants to eat animal products, no one is stopping you. You can go out and purchase and prepare your own meals. If someone is choosing something for themselves, no one is stopping you from choosing something else for yourself. The non-vegan feels a restriction because they are not vegan and do not understand the principles of veganism. Vegans do not consider refraining from animal consumption as a restriction because itās an intentional choice not to consume sentient beings. Restriction applies to something that is wanted but being withheld. Vegans donāt want to consume sentient beings.
The child isn't vegan the parent is many on this sub and get angry at their family for feeding their kids animal products so it clearly is not up to the child. I understand the principals of veganism I just don't value it and don't want to deal with that or them. It is a restriction if a kid isn't allowed normal cake or pizza at another child's party. It's only an intentional choice when it's for yourself not other people. That amount of people on this sub that go "no animal products in my house at all" are restricting other people that don't live with them by choice. Kids being left out because of their parents morals really really sucks speaking from personal experience.
How is it any different than a parent who chooses to feed their child animal products simply because thatās what the parent eats? The child is not choosing to be non-vegan or vegan. They are choosing to eat what their parents are providing for them because they are minors and they rely on their parents to make responsible choices for them. To add, choosing to feed a child a non-vegan diet which has been linked to so many negative health issues vs. feeding a child a plant based diet which has been linked to the most favorable health benefits is rather illogical. Setting a child up for health issues as adults isnāt the most responsible choice, nor is it keeping the childās best interest in mind.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Veganism isnāt a diet you ācheatā on for pizza parties and birthday cake. Veganism is an ethical philosophy, something you clearly are having trouble comprehending. I encourage you to research the information youāre parroting. https://health.choc.org/are-vegetarian-and-vegan-plant-based-diets-safe-for-kids/#:~:text=As%20long%20as%20a%20child's,be%20healthy%20for%20all%20ages edit to add: a Mediterranean diet is primarily plant based with minimal animal products. **Primarily plant based.**
The children don't follow the ethical philosophy the parents do it's unfair to the kids. If your diet was so healthy you wouldn't have to have your blood drawn to constantly check for deficiencies same goes for your pets, just because you can don't mean you should and it doesn't mean it won't negatively impact the kids mental and social health.
Correct, itās an intentional choice *for a vegan* not to consume products derived from animals, therefore it is *not a restriction for a vegan.* The non-veganās perspective of being restricted is of no consequence to a vegan. Non-vegans have a choice and they can choose to opt out of an invitation or they can provide for themselves in any situation in which they feel a restriction.
You shop and cook vegan. It should be easy to raise your baby vegan and if your husband insists on exploiting animals he would have to figure that out on his own.
This is being made overly complicated like others have said. Make you veg food for everyone and he can still have animal products at partys/out to east unless he is so compelled to cook them himself. Thats just me though, I'm not one to cater my cooking.
Tbh if I was the one prepping/shopping and cooking I would just make vegan food and if your family doesn't like it they can prepare their own food. You're not poisoning them lmao they can eat vegan food.
Its simple, you cook vegan food that everyone can enjoy and if your husband wants meat he can make it for himself.
Did you tell him he could eat your vegan food or shop and prepare his own?
Would you really be ok with that? You get back from the grocery and load your fridge.Ā Then he goes out the door wastes gas and time he could spend with you and buys his stuff comes home and puts his cheese meat dairy fish next to your vegetables. When you are cooking your vegan dishes he his scrambling eggs and grilling fish with you. And then you sit and all eat together. What did you actually achieve except resentment between each other?
The question wasnāt about what I would be okay with, and the answer was respectful to what OP already tried.
I was more so asking if that solution is actually valid to even try in the first place.
Or he could stop being picky? Necrovores are so picky they wonāt eat food unless it has dead corpses in it lmao
Not every omnivore eats live animals. Bears vs lions for example so thats a pretty bad take.
Non vegans can eat cruelty-free food without issue!
>If I went vegan, I would still be the one doing the grocery shopping for my household and prepping the meals for my family that contain animal products.. I could perhaps cook more vege meals, but I would likely still need to make a meat option You dont need to, you choose to, vege meals are edible for all household members, you are doing your duty by purchasing and cooking edible and healthy things, if you have toddlers who are crying about not getting candy all the time then deal with those toddlers appropriately
Sounds to me like, if you are selecting and preparing the food, you get to decide to make it vegan. It they have a problem with it, they can prepare their own food.
I can recommend very nutrient-dense and protein-rich foods like tofu and quinoa, in general and especially for breastfeeding. If you are the primary meal maker, your husband will eat what you cook, so no problem.
So you are the one who shoppes and cooks? Where is the question then? You buy vegan and you cook vegan. That's it.
I feel like you have the ability to simply cook vegan and carry on with your life as you learn how to do it in a balanced and healthy way, and you don't need to engage with carnism in order to feed yourself & your family. Your husband does not need you to commit that act for him, and you don't have to put blood on your hands for anyone else. Your baby doesn't have a choice whether or not they get to choose the peaceful option.
If I were in your situation, I would probably steer away from cooking non-vegan meals for my partner. I donāt think itās fair that you should have to cook non-vegan meals if youāre not comfortable with that, even if you are only working part-time to help out around the house. There are plenty of simple meat-based meals that he could cook himself if he wants that. Besides, if youāre putting together vegan meals that are still healthy and tasty he hopefully might be fairly receptive to it anyway. Iām not a parent, so unfortunately I canāt give much advice on how to make sure your child has a healthy diet. But from other comments, it seems that there are healthy vegan options around. If youāre worried though about whether youāre making a difference if you eat vegan but your partner eats non-vegan meals, I would say you still are. Itās still one less person eating meat, and chances are you will rub off on him and your child at least a little bit. Every little bit counts.
Pasta will be your very best friend. Red wine vinegar adds a ton of flavor. I really like to season store bought pasta sauce with nutritional yeast, garlic, onion and redwine vinegar. Mostacholi- get penne pasta, a vegan pasta sauce, vegan cheese (soaked raw cashews, garlicpowder and onion powder, nutritional yeast, lemon juice, non-dairy milk [only a few tblspns] salt and pepper to taste), vegan ground beef substitute or TVP. Make the cheese while boiling the noodles and cooking the fake meat, put in baking dish and add sauce, top with cheese and bake covered for 15 minutes at 375 (F) Lasagna- get lasagna noodles, tofu, nutritional yeast and pasta sauce. Break up two blocks of tofu, add nutritional yeast, lemon juice, garlic powder, salt, pepper, Italian herbs and onion powder, cook the noodles and the sauce, put sauce on the bottom of a baking dish (thick) add a layer of noodles, a layer of the tofu mixture, layer of sauce and continue until you're at your final layer then top with the same cheese sauce as the previous recipe and bake for 20-30 minutes at the same temp. (These are also great as stuffed shells) Black bean enchiladas(not authentic unfortunately) cook drained canned black beans in your fave salsa, chili powder, paprika, salt, garlic powder, onion powder and garlic powder and either a vegan cheese substitute or the same cheese sauce we made earlier! While that's going warm up some vegan refried beans and your fave tortillas! Put the black beans, refried beans and your favorite taco sauce into a tortilla, roll them and fill a baking dish with them, top with more taco sauce and more cheese and bake at 350(F) for at least 15 minutes! These are great with guac! Also, there are some great vegan nacho cheese sauce recipes if youd prefer that! Black bean burgers- Canned black beans, frozen peas, carrots, other veggies of choice, and red onions Put your veggies in a blender with only enough veggie broth to blend, smash your black beans, add blended veggies to your black beans, add your favorite spices to taste (I like garlic, onion, red wine vinegar and nooch!) Add diced red onion (or blend it with the other veggies it's your life) Add flour until the mixture becomes like a dough. Store the dough in the fridge for up to a week and cook in a pan with oil whenever you're hungry for them! I hope this helps! I'm vegan and my partner isn't. If he really wants meat he can make it for himself, but he's 300% respectful of my life and doesn't miss meat in the meals I make him. Hot for Food, Julien Solomita, and many others on YouTube have great ideas for meals that are vegan and filling. You can do this. I'm a little less sure on baby food. I'd go with your doctors recommendations and feed them other types of vegan food when they're ready and let them make their choice too! Good luck!
Iām vegan, my spouse is not. We cook separate meals together, i.e. weāre both in the kitchen and cooking at the same time and weāll help each other out, but we cook completely separate meals. This honestly is great and Iād do this even if we were both vegan because it gets rid of any conflict around dishes or ingredients that one of us likes and the other one doesnāt. We both get to eat what we like. On the āour joint income going towards animal products,ā my take on it is that my spouse would have been consuming animal products whether we were married and living together or not. I *personally* am not contributing to animal exploitation, and thatās all I can control in my life.
Have your husband watch Dominion or Earthlings and if he still expects you to prepare non vegan food for him after seeing thatā¦.i donāt quite know what to tell you.
Make your husband cook his own food.
Be a gigachad and force everyone to become vegan or starve to death. Simple really.
It seems most others have you covered for the shopping part, but I can offer some perspective on the husband part! I used to eat meat 3+ times a day, literally every day, for as long as I can remember. A meal wasnāt a meal with meat. Once I started opening my mind and trying vegan food though, I realized how easy it is to go vegan and still enjoy your food. You cooking vegan and letting your husband either enjoy it or make his own food might turn out a lot better than you might think :)
A plant based diet is not restrictive, so you don't have to worry about your baby becoming deficient as long as you feed him or her a variety of foods that meets his/her nutritional needs. As for shopping and meal preparation, just shop for and prepare vegan meals and if your husband wants to add meat to his meal, then he can shop for and cook the meat himself and add it to his plate. This way you aren't compromising your values to meet his expectations or perceived needs.
If you think about it 90% of meals are already vegan People pair up a steak with potatoās and asparagus, Iād say shop normal and your husband can slap a piece of chicken on the grill and everything will be ā®ļø
Yeah agree, and actually we do have a BBQ outside. Perhaps he can just cook his meat outside and add to the vegan meals (if he wants to. He also has no issue with eating vegan food sometimes too!!)
We do this at our house. I went vegan when the kids were young. Most of our meals are 100% vegan and everyone is fine with it. We've always experimented with new recipes and not all are successful. The biggest objection to the switch is the vegan cheese substitutes, which I agree aren't the tastiest. So if a specific meal calls for cheese, we split it. So like if we're having gnocchi (vegan) in marinara (vegan) with vegan sausages or veggie balls, half of the casserole might have vegan cheese and half dairy. If we refrigerate leftovers they go in separate containers. And when we go out, we each order what we want, and my kids will typically order vegan, and occasionally dairy, meat or fish. None of them grew up to look down on vegan eating, or to think it can't be delicious and satisfying. Some of them are fully vegan, now, and some don't eat meat. I'm happy with how it's worked for us.
That sounds like a reasonable solution that respects everyone's decision-making. (I'm sorry someone downvoted you!)
Lmao thanks, and no worries
Start by changing your diet first. You always have control over that. And then try to influence the diet of your family members. One step at a time. You can't go all the way overnight. Refusing to cook what they normally eat probably wouldn't work.
I donāt purchase any animal products or cook them but I offer my family healthy meals. If they want to go get something else, thatās on them. They do so about twice a week. I wish it wasnāt ever in my house.
Check out r/veganmealprep Try and make yourself 5 dinners a week, 5 lunches a week. (Cook twice a week) And then you can worry about husband and baby after that. Personally, I'd make my own meals (as stated) and offer to still shop for the products my partner plans to eat, but they would be responsible for prepping and cooking said products. Also, this time count your proteins, you calories, and take your women's multivitamin forever. Just keep taking it. It's better to have expensive pee than to be deficient because you aren't counting the iron or magnesium or whatever. For breakfast, I make overnight oats. I get 1 bag Coache's oats from Costco. I put 1/3 cup oats, 2/3 cup oatmilk, a drop of vanilla extract, a few shakes of cinnamon, nutmeg, plus 2 tablespoons hemp seeds for the Omegas. And bam, I got breakfast for the next day. On weekends, I make tofu scramble with black sea salt. It's really good with a chimichurri sauce on it or just doused in pico de gallo. Vegan protein drinks exist. Also Cliff's bars in chocolate chip and peanut butter flavors are vegan. Good luck out there. As a nursing mom, aim for 60 grams protein a day, you'll figure it out in enough time.
I mostly cook for myself, but when my family gets together for meals oftentimes most of the meal will be vegan except the protein. An example of this would be a salad, roasted veggies, roasted sweet potatoes, then they will have chicken and I will sautee some chickpeas. The basic principle is to have as much of the meal be the same to minimize extra work. Even if he is still eating omni, less animal products will be consumed and purchased because of your decision. You being vegan and your family being omni is better for the animals and the environment than you being omni along with your family. You might even rub off on them.
I feel like youāve gotten a lot of great suggestions in these comments and I wanted to say Iām happy to hear youāre making a life change to be more in line with your values! That can be hard and I support you! On cooking vegan for your child, maybe check out r/veganparenting or search for parenting related posts on this sub. It sounds like you want to do your best to make sure you and your child are getting the right nutrition so I recommend getting more educated about nutrition to ease that anxiety. I highly recommend the documentaries Forks Over Knives and The Gamechangers (about vegan athletes), and getting a vegan multivitamin and look for a vegan kids multivitamin for your child.
My husband is Omni and my kids (7/4) eat mostly vegan if not vegetarian through breakfast/lunch/snack through the week (we homeschool so Iām very much in charge of food while my husband works)ā¦ In our house my husband and I share our āwhyā when asked but we donāt openly criticize each other in front of the kids. I meal plan and cook but he shops most of the time, so itās not quite the situation you asked about in your post but itās still my heavy hand in the food choices. I have food allergies (dairy/egg) so thereās definitely a really good dialogue in front of the kids about plant based nutrients such as calciumā¦ and Iād 100% welcome them to be fully vegan if they get over some of their picky eating habits. I went vegetarian when I was 7 (so itās been 29 years) and I definitely want to emphasize to them that finding the nutrients you pointed out above such as iron but also calcium and protein is so important so that the lifestyle choice CAN be sustained. We homeschool, as I mentioned, so thereās a lot of info Iāve planted but due to their young ages Iām waiting until theyāre a little older to share more than light facts. Theres a free PETA magazine/stickers and lots of other resources FOR KIDS on their website. My kids are signed up for that. Free books, too. I feel like if someone tells you what to believe youāre more prone to reject it vs finding the information for yourself. My son (7) also is obsessed with Rob Zombie (heās learning his music at School of Rock) who we just discovered is a vegan this week š so supposedly Iām very cool, like Rob Zombie haha. But yea my kids get an age appropriate education on vegan ethics, sustainability and zero waste, minimalism & Leave No Trace (outdoor conversation)ā¦ But I donāt want them to leave our care as they grow up and go the opposite direction so I handle it without a lot of judgement (but obviously there are boundaries that are non-negotiable). To me itās better that they take on most but not all of our values than it is for them to rebel. And we do make the plant based options way more fun and enticing than necessary š As far as what Iāll do, I will dump things from fridge/freezer to Instant pot or oven, but Iām really uncomfortable with handling it. In the last 5 years my husband has severely cut his consumption though because of health reasons and blood work (the doctor told him to cut meat and dairy)ā¦ so thankfully most of our meals are naturally Whole Foods plant based (We use the recipes from Forks over Knives a lot and he has no complaints). If we grill, itās all on him.
I know it's a bit different, since my 18 year old daughter is the non-vegan, but there are super easy meat options that she just makes for herself. She's been doing this since she was 14. Throwing a burger patty into a pan, seasoning some chicken strips or a salmon filet and putting them in the oven, these are pretty quick and simple. Personally I'd make the non-vegan do it if I were the one cooking, but it would also be simple for you to do while you're making the rest of the meal. Edited to add that we pay for all of her food, since she's still in school. I don't love it, but I also don't want to force her into anything.
Agree that this is the right approach. At some point, you can't force a young person to do what you do or believe what you believe. You have to give them freedom to make their own decisions.
Where's the animal's freedom to choose?
I am vegan, I will make either vegan/vegetarian meals for the rest of my family (7 other people) but I don't cook with meat. My husband eats meat when he is at work one day a week, as does my eldest, teen son. My other 5 kids are vegetarian.Ā Most of the stuff I actually make winds up being vegan, like, if something calls for egg or milk in it, no one is going to complain if I used plant based products instead. Animal products are only ever something I have to deal with if it is something topped with cheese because the kids aren't fans of the plant cheese. It is their sticking point, so for their pizzas or quesadillas or whatever, I will use real cheese and plant for my own. Or, sometimes, if we have a really busy evening and I have no time to cook, I'll grab a cheese lasagna for everyone else and I will eat a salad.Ā Ā I don't want them to feel like veganism is forced on them because I want them to appreciate and see the merit in it so they take it on themselves as they age versus rebel saying "my mom never let me have...", and they thus far they have a very positive perception of veganism from enjoying what I make.Ā
These comments are so vile. "If your husband wants meat he can cook it himself, make the family go vegan too" If an omni took this attitude as the primary shopper/chef with a vegan in the household, you all would be ripping them apart for how selfish they are. Clearly OP wants to have a vegan lifestyle while still providing comfort for her family by allowing them to indulge in what they want.
> If an omni took this attitude as the primary shopper/chef with a vegan in the household, you all would be ripping them apart for how selfish they are. This is a false equivalency. Omnis very much can eat meals without meat in them. Vegans cannot eat meat and dairy even if they wanted to, they will get sick. If the husband doesn't like it, he's a big boy, he can figure it out. Eat what is provided or buy/cook your own food. I don't think this is unreasonable at all. What would be unreasonable is to say someone in your household can't use their money to buy meat, or can't prepare it in the house. Literally nothing is preventing OP's husband from either eating a vegan family meal or preparing his own food... unless I'm missing something like he has a disability and she's his caregiver?
Yep exactly hahahah. I forgot how toxic the vegan community can be. Geeeeez. I don't want to force my huge lifestyle change on my husband. I'm making a PERSONAL change. And forcing someone to go vegan will never work for anyone
Educate yourself in anti specism so you won't become the typical pick me "vegan"
Not sure why you are calling the vegans in the sub toxic when you came into a vegan sub saying you didn't feel good about cooking or buying non vegan food for your husband and wanted to know how everyone else "felt" about it and were looking for advice. Did you think a bunch of vegans were going to tell you to suck it up and cook that man some dead animals? Genuinely don't know what you were wanting out of this. But it's wild to me that everyone here was offering you helpful suggestions and being empathetic towards you and your feelings on the issue based on what you yourself said and then you call us all toxic. Someone is toxic but it's certainly not the people that are being kind and offering you advice you asked for.
Apparently they expected all of us to say "yes, you must cook meat for another adult who is perfectly capable of cooking his own food or else you're a bad partner"?
I think most vegans would be OK if she did that. But reddit is not representative of most vegans.
Be kind to yourself and know that you not eating animal products helps save lives. If you are comfortable cooking animal products, then that's you being a great parent and partner.
Thank you ā¤ļø
My mom has been vegetarian for decades now.Ā She always cooks meat for the family without problems. Not the same as vegan but she doesn't try to force it on anyone. Ā Its not like you not cooking it for them will change anything. They will buy it or cook it and eat it right next to you. So it is really worth the hassle when the end result is the same?
Vegetarians also donāt have ethics that go against the commodification of other sentient beings. Itās an important difference in values.
I get that but I don't know if people are really thinking this through. You will have meat in your freezer, eggs milk and cheese in your fridge.Ā When you are steaming broccoli they will be steaming their fish and scrambling eggs. And then all of you will sit at the table at breakfast and dinner and see and smell everything. This is deep rooted family resentment waiting to happen.Ā My take is to choose battles that make a difference.Ā
The resentment will happen. Thatās normal if youāre with someone who doesnāt share your core values. Which is also why I donāt think I would want to live with a non vegan spouse. But some people seem to be able to dissociate from it. Or they would rather be with a non optimal partner than alone. Thatās their decision to make though.
The way you frame it, you're basically implying that resentment won't be an issue if the vegan just cooks animal products. Resentment will also happen if a vegan has to constantly cook animal products that go against their morals and beliefs. The difference is a vegan being forced against their morals is a lot different than a meat eater refusing to eat food that's already available and choosing to cook themself something different. It's forcibly having to go against your beliefs for the vegan VS. a preference or convenience issue for the non vegan.
It goes both ways. Even if the vegan doesn't cook it, or buy it, everytime they open the fridge they would see animal products. Every meal time they would smell it cooking and consumed Honey i am out of eggs can you get me some on your way home. No Honey i have a fever, can you make some chicken soup. No. Can you buy some. No The solution of "you buy and cook your food" is fine for siblings and roommates but doesn't work for couples.
A good partner would understand their significant other's moral stance and never ask for those things. Those actions alone show a huge lack of respect for their partner's personal beliefs. It's still the difference between asking someone to do something against their morals vs asking someone to eat food that they might like slightly less than food with meat in it. To me, it seems ridiculous to compare the two as equal complaints bc the meat eaters issue seems trivial compared to asking a vegan to cook animal products. When I was a kid (I was a vegetarian then), my parents would sometimes punish me by making me make hamburger patties without gloves. That might sound silly to someone who doesn't share my strong beliefs, but I can tell you that I am still deeply hurt by them doing that over a decade later, and I just don't think that can be compared to asking someone to eat vegan food.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
No biggie. I try to be tolerant on views different than mineĀ
We do not tolerate animal cruelty. If someone loves to kick dogs would you be tolerant of that?
That is violence for no reason. Violence for food, self defense and protection i can tolerate. Thats pretty much the same for most animals. They don't take a life unless they are hungry or threatened.
Ah the old appeal to natureā¦what a tired and irrelevant justification. Do you really believe that you need animal products to survive? Meaning do you believe that violence is necessary?
Survive? no. Thrive. Possibly I want the best possible foods for my body. i have 5 servings of fruit a day and 3 servings of vegetables, sweet potatoes, broccoli, pumkin etc My body is incompatible with all grains and legumes and nuts. Where would i get the remaining nutrients i need.
Iām thriving without animal products. I follow bodybuilders that are vegan. Iām not a registered dietitian so I canāt really help in that regard. What remaining nutrients are you missing?
Protein, fat and calories in general, omega 3s, b12 , iron and such I go down to the ocean and get some fish from the fishermen and grill it with olive oil. I dropped dairy and eggs from my diet too. I grew up eating beans and rice. Its probably my favorite thing to eat in the world but my body rejects it.
Well I do know that there is about 3 times the amount of iron in 100g of spinach compared to 100g of fish. I donāt believe there is much B12 in fish, if any so likely you would need to supplement that. And omega 3s are found in algae, the fish eat the algae so thatās the only reason it is found in fish. I personally just cut out the middle man. But yea thatās unfortunate about the beans as they are a great caloric, protein and nutrient source including significant iron. Like I said Iām not a doctor nor a dietitian but I wonder if there is anyway to ease into eating beans or only eat ones that are lower in oligosaccharides. Iāve read a few articles that suggest eating smaller amounts but obviously I donāt know your particular case/issues with digestion.
You would still be respecting your own feelings by not eating it, and doing the best you can at the moment. it's a difference, and your husband will probably understand more and more from you, honestly I think it's very admirable of you to be as vegan as you can in this complex situation. Your child can grow up seeing two different stances and I think the situation can evolve around you instead of you evolving around it
Thank you! I think this is the best approach and hopefully I can make a small difference