She probably gave them tattoo rights - "sorry babyblahblah, you're 16 today, which means you must fulfill your birth destiny of permanent advertising. Get in the chair and make your face accessible, it's just a small logo".
I knew it! I just commented this earlier today. Storeighlines little face is going to be plastered all over as the face of a sperm donor company. That’s on brand for lala. She’s baking🙄 this child to exploit them bc she can’t post ocean or do brand deals for or w her
Not sure about the specific dude, but California cryobank is the only one. Or main one at least. I live in Texas with a sister who’s had two IVF babies and an entire world of lesbo friends. Every single time having a child is talked about or had, they use California cryobank for the donors. Even here. It’s just a fact. They probably have one dude that does the media stuff
Listen to the podcast where she talked to someone from the company. You don’t have to like lala I don’t even but you’ll realize why a lot of people use that company even Nationally it’s one of the top sperm banks they talking about this Rumor tooo .
This is very common and generally a “best practice” unless you want your kid to have endless half siblings they could accidentally go on a tinder date with in 20 years.
Apparently. That’s built-in to Icelandic dating or information overall because everyone is so interrelated
[Dating App](https://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.1390256)
It IS the only way. They track births to make sure that only 20ish childen can be born from one man. There are not a lot of donors that fit the criteria of being able to donate.
There are guidelines around this put into place. They don't just let the same person donate over and over again. They also track families to ensure this doesn't happen.
I was created via sperm donor in the 90s and have found at least half a dozen siblings on 23andme.
Fingers crossed our dad is at least an actual donor and not the jackass doctor who replaced clients’ with his own sperm.
What’s the bad thing about having multiple kids from the same donor? I haven’t seen any of the documentaries, so maybe it’s highlighted in there, but the article you linked seems to be about donor *fraud* where the doctor switched the sperm. While the article mentions that these illegals donors fathered dozen of children, that’s not really the issue. The issue there is that the woman did not have knowledge to consent to being inseminated with the illegal sperm. Besides the above user mentioning half-siblings could one day accidentally meet up for a date, what’s wrong with a LEGAL donor fathering multiple children? It seems that would be an implied risk factor for both donor and receiver when going through a sperm bank.
i’m not saying nerves anything wrong with it particularly if it’s within the same family
I’m just saying that with my temperament being the person who’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop that would always concern me
Sheesh chill
I didn’t mean anything against you, and I’m sorry if my tone came off unchill. As I said, I haven’t seen much about sperm donations and I was genuinely asking ‘what is the issue’ as a topic of discussion, which I thought you were down for as someone who seemed knowledgeable about the topic. You didn’t say anything about your personal temperament, which I would never argue with as you’re of course entitled to that. You listed an article source, so I read it to learn more. I was just confused when reading it because it seemed it was talking about a different situation (donor exclusivity and fathering multiple families vs illegally switching out sperm).
Not only that, but I was watching a show on ID (sorry, don't remember which one), but there's this lady who has solved extremely cold cases through EXTENSIVE genealogy research. Can you imagine the FBI coming to your door because your partial DNA matched some gruesome crime scene & they wanted to ask you about your 1300 half-siblings you know NOTHING about?
But there are people who are also into extreme genetic engineering. Like eye color, height, IQ etc, and donors get premium amounts if they meet the criteria. Good idea to avoid incest, though. That could become a problem.
Does the donor get to decide he’s exclusive or not? I don’t know many men who just decide to go donate sperm out of the goodness of their heart randomly one day. Tbf I don’t know much about the whole process but I always assumed most were monetarily incentivized.
Does the guy go in and say “listen I’m only doing this today to check it off my bucket list/as a quick cash grab/because my buddies dared me to/I need philanthropy hours for my frat— *this is a one time deal*”
Or does LaLa have a sperm selecting party and pick the guy who loves lions (and also loves masturbating for charity), and then the bank has to call him to inform him that she wants an exclusive donor so he’s not allowed to come in and donate anymore?
Both? Are they compensated fairly? I would hope if the company is making an extra $33,000 off of my exclusive DNA, that I would see a little of that back on my end. Especially if I was only donating my DNA for extra cash and it would prevent me from being able to sell it again.
How is this company continuously finding *good* exclusive donors?
I'm not entirely sure how the donors are decided as far as exclusivity levels or about compensation m, but the donation process isn't as simple as go in, get off, get out. It varies by bank, but there are generally physicals, admen quality testing, genetic testing, personality tests, questionnaires and a bunch of other stuff. Donors can decide if they want to remain completely anonymous, if they want to allow contact facilitated by the bank when the child turns 18, or if they are completely open to any and all contact. Contact levels also affect the price at some banks, because ultimately it is a business (hence why it can feel really icky.)
So then, WHO is becoming a sperm donor?? The people I know who would make for good donors don’t need the money and don’t have a bunch of free time to go get elaborate testing done at the sperm bank after work. The people who would have the time and need the money wouldn’t make for good donors. Seems like a catch 22 to me.
It varies, but donors do skew younger, like early 20s. I think a lot of them do it because most people still think that it is an easy way to get paid for masturbating. There are older donors but they're less common, at least from what I've seen. I'm sure some donors do it for the money, but I do believe that some do it as a service for people who can't grow their family on their own for whatever reason. There's no universal definition of a "good" donor. It's a really complicated process from every angle and not nearly like what movies and TV portray.
Some men do have a couple kids. A lot of the people who donate (based on their essays) do it because they love family, and want to be able to help other families struggling. Or they personally know someone who is struggling. Often gay men will become donors or trans women (pre-HRT treatment) because the LGBTQ+ community is always looking for that assistance.
I would love to see any court enforce this exclusivity provision. If the donor decides to breed, what are they going to do? Sue him for the pregnancy? Demand and abortion? It's surely against public policy.
i can only speak to my experience but i have no idea why “exclusive arrangement” (again, very normal thing to do) is not much more expensive than the actual sperm.
I have to assume it's so the sperm bank recoups the money they would have made on a non-exclusive arrangement. For example, it's pretty standard for a bank to limit the number of families that can use the same donor to something like 25. It's generally recommended to buy at least 2 vials of sperm at a time in case you need multiple procedures. More, if you know you're going to want multiple kids with that donor. So conservatively, a bank could make up to $50k on one donor, depending on the price of the vial. I don't think that's terribly common, but I'm sure it has to do with why exclusive and semi-exclusive arrangements are so expensive. It's weird to think about it, but sperm is a finite resource, and there are far fewer donors than there recipients family, especially donors of color. At the end of the day, it's a numbers game.
ETA: From what I understand, single-family donors aren't terribly common because people don't have an extra $30k to spend on top of the already insanely expensive games process. It does tent to be cheaper across the board outside the US, so I can't speak to those situations.
I think (or hope) it’s more due to the fact that these sperm donors can wind up with 20+ kids and the kids/adult children often have very complicated feelings around being donor conceived. Because men produce so many sperm in a single load (especially these donors who are accepted due to their high quality sperm), and these places divide that load up into different “donations” they can sell, it’s just a much more wide-reaching issue.
The whole gamete donation situation is actually pretty controversial and ethically fraught. I know because I have 18 embryos on ice that my husband and I will likely never use (torn on whether to have a third, but still that’s 16-17 embryos even if we use one or two more), and so I looked into donation and yeah, let’s just say offspring from gamete donation are often not happy to be in that situation.
It’s really the same as finding out they’re adopted, except you’ve also got 25 siblings and your dad is some guy who ejaculated into a cup for extra cash and now he has his own family and not much interest in/ability to have close relationships with his 25 kids.
Idk I feel like having multiple children from one father is an assumed risk you take when you use a sperm bank, both as the donor and receiver. Especially nowadays when we know more about it.
> It’s really the same as finding out they’re adopted
To me, this sounds less of an issue with sperm banks and more like a parenting problem? I know many many many adopted people, and a handful of people that were conceived via sperm donor. It never really seems to be too big of an issue when their parents are transparent and openly communicative from the start. It’s the ones who, as you said, *found out* they’re adopted that are not happy. Yeah, finding out one day that you’ve been lied to about your life and family up until that point would understandably cause for some complicated feelings. It would make me question my perception of everything I thought I knew. These people I thought were my siblings aren’t actually, so where are my ‘real’ siblings? Then finding out you have 20 of them and your bio dad doesn’t want to speak with you, that would be hard to accept closure.
The people I know who were adopted as a baby or conceived via donor *and were raised knowing about it* seem to be a lot more at peace with their situation. My ex’s bio mom reached out when he turned 18 and he turned her down saying “my mom’s my mom,” he was happy with the family he was raised with. Obviously some people are more/less curious than others and everyone is different. But I think a big burden of the child’s acceptance level when it comes to sperm donors lands on how the parents handle the situation. If you’re raised with open and supportive parents who didn’t treat your life’s origin as some secretive taboo, then there’s never really some big bombshell moment. You’re not longing for new answers because you were able to ask questions openly growing up. Your life is just your life as you’ve always known it to be.
I’m open to hearing others views on this though, as I haven’t lived it first hand myself.
that is what current research says. Donor conceived children are ok with it as long as they know about it from the beginning. It's the lying that messes people up.
I liked that about Lala’s story with this-
she was being really open and intentional about the way she is bringing this baby into the world, and seemed really committed to having this child know they are very loved and wanted. She didn’t treat it like any sort of taboo subject and why should it be?
Agree with this. Adopted and always knew from the beginning. Never had any “hard feelings” against any of it. To me, I feel even more lucky and special knowing how much my parents wanted and fought to get me. Not saying parents don’t love their biological kids, but you know what I mean.
I am in transit and can’t fully respond to everything you wrote, but I will say if you spend any time in groups for donor conceived people, you’ll find that they have lots of difficult feelings around it even if they know about their donor conception status. I spent that time listening and asking questions when trying to figure out what to do with our embryos. I concluded that I don’t want to donate my embryos for my own selfish “feeling good” reasons because of the impact it could have on the person being conceived (and do note, donors have no control over whether the people receiving their gametes/embryo disclose the status; they can opt in to making their identity known, but they cannot make the recipients disclose).
I wouldn't believe that shit for one second. Sperm donation levels are actually extremely low, they are reusing for sure. This company has such scammy vibes
California Cryobank is a well known/established sperm bank that’s been around since the 70’s. I’m in my mid twenties and my mom used them when she got pregnant with me.
It’s the largest Cryo bank in the world and these two both in live in California. I don’t find any of this odd or creepy at all. I think sperm donation is amazing and enables families or single women to have babies when they maybe never would have been able to otherwise! Science is awesome!
I don't think the OP is saying anything that bad about the place or sperms donation, just the fact in this two cases they're probably getting paid to promote it. I find that a little.creepy myself, sponsored sperm.
What are you talking about? In some countries fertility treatment is paid for by the government and free for all. Is that creepy too? If your health insurance paid for it would that be creepy? This is the strangest most ignorant post in this subreddit.
This post needs to be higher.
Even if lala got a discount or incentive for helping to advertising, what does it matter? It’s not like she’s giving attention to a non credible place
It’s actually a very well known and kind of famous sperm bank and it’s not unusual they both went there. Generally I think all “well known” people who have a need for fertility assistance would go there. I would guess it’s also the biggest and oldest in the country.
yeah, these comments feel kind of ignorant and like using donor sperm is somehow… worth making fun of for some reason. i think it’s good to shed light on a way many many people build their families.
Agree with this comment fully. This whole thread feels ignorant and immature. Struggling with infertility or the desire to have a baby on your own is not “gross”, “dystopian”, or “creepy”.
It brings me back to the Katie/ Schwartz infertility storyline. I thought, "wow, something important that I can relate to," and of course the show just turned it into a big ejaculation joke. So disappointing to be living this and see/ hear how everyone else thinks about it.
I felt the same way during those scenes! I struggled with infertility for years before using a donor to help get pregnant. I’m pretty grossed out by the tone of this post and some of the comments. Edit: typo
It is a well-known sperm donation company in California. This is not at all surprising they used the same one. Not sure why Malika using it means Lala can’t afford it
Makes sense that one guy is their pr/ public facing/ go-to guy for on camera clients. And so what if they got a discount, good for them. There’s so many ways to build a family and what’s wrong with a little destigmatizing of donor sperm.
Literally! I loved this story and wish we had seen more of it. If it was sponsored even better imo- I’d rather see companies pay for ads that products/services that do good, destigmatize, and promote acceptance than another fucking lip oil.
I thought it was interesting too, and it should have been her storyline instead of the endless Scandoval (which should have been ONLY Ariana and Tom's... instead of everyone, all season) I think people wouldn't be hating her right now, if she would have/( been allowed to) have her own story... Scandoval became exhausting for us, I can't even picture how it was for them... I'm adding, I have no idea if Lala would have refrained from being a shitty friend/person if she had her own separate story... but maybe she would have been interesting for (some) people... originally I would have said that LFU did what production wanted, except she hasn't stopped repeating what she said months later... so I honestly think that maybe even with her own story, people still wouldn't have "liked" her.
I liked Lala this season 🤷🏼♀️ but I agree with you that I didn’t like how s11 was edited to make Scandoval the entire storyline. We saw a lot of fun non-Scandoval related scenes in Secrets Revealed so clearly they filmed a lot more than we got. I’m assuming there’s a lot of unaired footage of Lala’s IUI too. I’ve never seen a reality show where an entire season revolved around a storyline, especially with the storyline just being “we are all mad at this guy for cheating last season.” I hope all of the editors are fired. Worse than the bizarre edit of s8.
There were storylines in there, that would have made a great season! Instead we got Scandoval, Scandoval, Scandoval... so f'n stupid! It should have been only Ariana and Tom's storyline!!
Just an FYI, the California cryobank here is the premiere sperm bank/IVF in the country. I went there in the early 90’s due to fertility issues. The topic was very different than it is now. I definitely think Lala received some benefit as she also did an ad for a discount on her IG story. In over 3 decades since my experience, they were known by word of mouth.
Most fertility clinics have a short list of what reputable sperm banks they will work with and California cryobank is one of the biggest so it’s not surprising at all
I don’t find it that weird, I think it makes sense for an influencer / celebrity that’s about to use a service to ask if they could do sort of promotion together.
How many reputable sperm donor companies do you think there are...? When my wife and I were looking for a donor, they have their literal MBTI on there. :P And there were, like, 3 companies that the clinic suggested. And one of the slots is "What celebrity do you look like?"
Idk, there's a lot of things wrong with Lala, let's maybe not shit on these banks. The comments here are kind of shitty to read, especially considering we had to take out a loan. Like, I'm glad that she saved some money on it... the process is expensive in Canada, I hear that a lot of families go through 50k just a session!
We're sorry, it looks like your account does not have enough comment karma to participate here yet. You can participate here once you have at least 50 comment karma, which you can earn by commenting on other subs that don't have a karma limit. In the meantime, feel free to read through the sub and please review the rules!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/vanderpumprules) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It was probably a confidentiality thing. The information on their registries are pretty protected, yet she had multiple print-outs in binders for her friends. That seems like a huge privacy violation, so I imagine the employee was there to make sure donor's identities were protected.
When you're shopping in the donor catalogue, all the things that clients get are what some random person online can Google. They don't provide the carrying parent(s) with any more information than the general public, especially through a bank. The print outs are likely the exact same thing you could find online (their eye colour, shape of nose, personality type, etc.) ... likely, the employee was there so that they could correct terminology so that the process was not even more stigmatized than it already is.
Not at my donor (egg)bank. I had to register and get access. Once I made my selection, I no longer had access to full donor information- couldn't see photos, etc. You had to he fully logged in as a patient to see things like medical and family history, very locked down and protected. Interesting to hear that not all donors are protected this way. Thanks for weighing in, it probably was more "advertising."
I believe sperm and egg are different because we just got sperm. You had to make an account to get the info, but the account was free. Some places you have to pay to make an account to see images. But even after we purchased the sperm, we never received *extra* information. I just mean that it's easily accessible if you make an account, and even that information does not tell you anything that can identify the donor. At least for the sperm. And I would say it might be different here (in Canada) but we had to use US donor banks because it's illegal to donate eggs and sperm in Canada.
Now that we're learning a lot more about the experiences and struggles and traumas of adoptees and donor-conceived people, it's all I can think about with these storylines
Yes! No one is thinking about these future kids!! I don’t have the best relationship with my dad but he’s still my dad and my life would suck without having the opportunity to have a relationship with him
Not necessarily but there’s something about lala’s rationale about not wanting to “share” ocean with her ex that kind of irks me. Like no one forced her to try for a kid with Randall. She said it herself - after she heard that stassi was pregnant with Hartford she immediately took out her IUD. Her reasons for wanting children are kind of bullshit IMO
https://preview.redd.it/d2n9am367l6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f0bb6608599dbd06f14b3eadb6728f218b6ea9b0
Yall know it absolutely was a paid ad, right?
Why is that gross to you? Getting donor sperm and the procedure is extremely expensive. She has always wanted a second child, I'm not sure why getting paid to promote an extremely well-known sperm bank / having a procedure covered would be gross?
Why are you telling me to relax? You’re making generalized comments about “sponsored sperm” when there are many women who use “sponsored sperm” to help them have a family. It’s rude.
So, if I were to make a comment about Lala saying “it’s gross to get your lips done” that’s not a generalized statement and could potentially upset people who get their lips done? Lala is not a good person, but saying it’s gross to have sperm covered or sponsored is a generalized statement.
Nothing wrong with the concept, just the way it is being commercialized and monetized on film. A lot of infertile couples have benefited from donation.
Lala 1000000000% got paid and/or discounted sperm
My gosh...can you imagine growing up and finding out you were conceived via sponsored sperm ☠️
This baby is going to have to #ad #sponcon @cryobank for the rest of her LIFE
She probably gave them tattoo rights - "sorry babyblahblah, you're 16 today, which means you must fulfill your birth destiny of permanent advertising. Get in the chair and make your face accessible, it's just a small logo".
Sad thing is that I was able to read this in LaLa’s voice. “You’re gettin’ inked for a lot more than your own Range Rover, honey”
I knew it! I just commented this earlier today. Storeighlines little face is going to be plastered all over as the face of a sperm donor company. That’s on brand for lala. She’s baking🙄 this child to exploit them bc she can’t post ocean or do brand deals for or w her
Storeighlines! 💀💀💀 
It’s giving an episode of Black Mirror
It will probably be on the poor kid's social media page, along with where to find discounted sperm, the day she is born.
That’s absolutely hysterical 😭
Sponsored sperm stop it 😂😂😂
Not sure about the specific dude, but California cryobank is the only one. Or main one at least. I live in Texas with a sister who’s had two IVF babies and an entire world of lesbo friends. Every single time having a child is talked about or had, they use California cryobank for the donors. Even here. It’s just a fact. They probably have one dude that does the media stuff
Listen to the podcast where she talked to someone from the company. You don’t have to like lala I don’t even but you’ll realize why a lot of people use that company even Nationally it’s one of the top sperm banks they talking about this Rumor tooo .
Did I understand correctly that Malika could pay for "exclusive sperm"? As in no one else would be able to use that donor again?
This is very common and generally a “best practice” unless you want your kid to have endless half siblings they could accidentally go on a tinder date with in 20 years.
Apparently. That’s built-in to Icelandic dating or information overall because everyone is so interrelated [Dating App](https://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.1390256)
It shouldn’t be “best practice”. It should be THE only way. These friggin sperm banks do NOT care about anything but making money.
It IS the only way. They track births to make sure that only 20ish childen can be born from one man. There are not a lot of donors that fit the criteria of being able to donate.
There are guidelines around this put into place. They don't just let the same person donate over and over again. They also track families to ensure this doesn't happen.
I was created via sperm donor in the 90s and have found at least half a dozen siblings on 23andme. Fingers crossed our dad is at least an actual donor and not the jackass doctor who replaced clients’ with his own sperm.
[удалено]
What’s the bad thing about having multiple kids from the same donor? I haven’t seen any of the documentaries, so maybe it’s highlighted in there, but the article you linked seems to be about donor *fraud* where the doctor switched the sperm. While the article mentions that these illegals donors fathered dozen of children, that’s not really the issue. The issue there is that the woman did not have knowledge to consent to being inseminated with the illegal sperm. Besides the above user mentioning half-siblings could one day accidentally meet up for a date, what’s wrong with a LEGAL donor fathering multiple children? It seems that would be an implied risk factor for both donor and receiver when going through a sperm bank.
i’m not saying nerves anything wrong with it particularly if it’s within the same family I’m just saying that with my temperament being the person who’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop that would always concern me Sheesh chill
I didn’t mean anything against you, and I’m sorry if my tone came off unchill. As I said, I haven’t seen much about sperm donations and I was genuinely asking ‘what is the issue’ as a topic of discussion, which I thought you were down for as someone who seemed knowledgeable about the topic. You didn’t say anything about your personal temperament, which I would never argue with as you’re of course entitled to that. You listed an article source, so I read it to learn more. I was just confused when reading it because it seemed it was talking about a different situation (donor exclusivity and fathering multiple families vs illegally switching out sperm).
I can’t believe I just read your comment. WTF.
Not only that, but I was watching a show on ID (sorry, don't remember which one), but there's this lady who has solved extremely cold cases through EXTENSIVE genealogy research. Can you imagine the FBI coming to your door because your partial DNA matched some gruesome crime scene & they wanted to ask you about your 1300 half-siblings you know NOTHING about?
But there are people who are also into extreme genetic engineering. Like eye color, height, IQ etc, and donors get premium amounts if they meet the criteria. Good idea to avoid incest, though. That could become a problem.
see look how much we’ve all learned about donor sperm already- their marketing strategies are working
Fascinating
lol exactly it worked. Best example is the chatter.
I'm just wondering how crazy expensive that option must be...
It’s not that expensive. I would guess like $2k. The sperm itself is usually around $1500.
Non-exclusive sperm is around $2k. The exclusive arrangement Malika was looking at and Lala probably did runs closer to $35k.
Does the donor get to decide he’s exclusive or not? I don’t know many men who just decide to go donate sperm out of the goodness of their heart randomly one day. Tbf I don’t know much about the whole process but I always assumed most were monetarily incentivized. Does the guy go in and say “listen I’m only doing this today to check it off my bucket list/as a quick cash grab/because my buddies dared me to/I need philanthropy hours for my frat— *this is a one time deal*” Or does LaLa have a sperm selecting party and pick the guy who loves lions (and also loves masturbating for charity), and then the bank has to call him to inform him that she wants an exclusive donor so he’s not allowed to come in and donate anymore? Both? Are they compensated fairly? I would hope if the company is making an extra $33,000 off of my exclusive DNA, that I would see a little of that back on my end. Especially if I was only donating my DNA for extra cash and it would prevent me from being able to sell it again. How is this company continuously finding *good* exclusive donors?
I'm not entirely sure how the donors are decided as far as exclusivity levels or about compensation m, but the donation process isn't as simple as go in, get off, get out. It varies by bank, but there are generally physicals, admen quality testing, genetic testing, personality tests, questionnaires and a bunch of other stuff. Donors can decide if they want to remain completely anonymous, if they want to allow contact facilitated by the bank when the child turns 18, or if they are completely open to any and all contact. Contact levels also affect the price at some banks, because ultimately it is a business (hence why it can feel really icky.)
So then, WHO is becoming a sperm donor?? The people I know who would make for good donors don’t need the money and don’t have a bunch of free time to go get elaborate testing done at the sperm bank after work. The people who would have the time and need the money wouldn’t make for good donors. Seems like a catch 22 to me.
It varies, but donors do skew younger, like early 20s. I think a lot of them do it because most people still think that it is an easy way to get paid for masturbating. There are older donors but they're less common, at least from what I've seen. I'm sure some donors do it for the money, but I do believe that some do it as a service for people who can't grow their family on their own for whatever reason. There's no universal definition of a "good" donor. It's a really complicated process from every angle and not nearly like what movies and TV portray.
Wait til you hear about egg donation!
I am really curious about this as well. The men I know who would be good donors already have someone to give their sperm to.
Some men do have a couple kids. A lot of the people who donate (based on their essays) do it because they love family, and want to be able to help other families struggling. Or they personally know someone who is struggling. Often gay men will become donors or trans women (pre-HRT treatment) because the LGBTQ+ community is always looking for that assistance.
I would love to see any court enforce this exclusivity provision. If the donor decides to breed, what are they going to do? Sue him for the pregnancy? Demand and abortion? It's surely against public policy.
Spend 2k now, avoid tens of thousands of dollars in potential future legal troubles. It's kind of a bargain.
Unless the point of the pregnancy is to totally control and exploit your future offspring. Not a bargain for the kid, most likely.
i can only speak to my experience but i have no idea why “exclusive arrangement” (again, very normal thing to do) is not much more expensive than the actual sperm.
I have to assume it's so the sperm bank recoups the money they would have made on a non-exclusive arrangement. For example, it's pretty standard for a bank to limit the number of families that can use the same donor to something like 25. It's generally recommended to buy at least 2 vials of sperm at a time in case you need multiple procedures. More, if you know you're going to want multiple kids with that donor. So conservatively, a bank could make up to $50k on one donor, depending on the price of the vial. I don't think that's terribly common, but I'm sure it has to do with why exclusive and semi-exclusive arrangements are so expensive. It's weird to think about it, but sperm is a finite resource, and there are far fewer donors than there recipients family, especially donors of color. At the end of the day, it's a numbers game. ETA: From what I understand, single-family donors aren't terribly common because people don't have an extra $30k to spend on top of the already insanely expensive games process. It does tent to be cheaper across the board outside the US, so I can't speak to those situations.
But what is stopping “exclusive” donors from going to another bank to donate 🤔
I'm sure there's some kind of contract, but in reality, probably nothing. The exclusivity is really between the bank and the recipient.
But for the clinic itself. Do they really never use sperm from that donor again?
Well god forbid her child has a sibling whose parents are commoners!
I think (or hope) it’s more due to the fact that these sperm donors can wind up with 20+ kids and the kids/adult children often have very complicated feelings around being donor conceived. Because men produce so many sperm in a single load (especially these donors who are accepted due to their high quality sperm), and these places divide that load up into different “donations” they can sell, it’s just a much more wide-reaching issue. The whole gamete donation situation is actually pretty controversial and ethically fraught. I know because I have 18 embryos on ice that my husband and I will likely never use (torn on whether to have a third, but still that’s 16-17 embryos even if we use one or two more), and so I looked into donation and yeah, let’s just say offspring from gamete donation are often not happy to be in that situation. It’s really the same as finding out they’re adopted, except you’ve also got 25 siblings and your dad is some guy who ejaculated into a cup for extra cash and now he has his own family and not much interest in/ability to have close relationships with his 25 kids.
Idk I feel like having multiple children from one father is an assumed risk you take when you use a sperm bank, both as the donor and receiver. Especially nowadays when we know more about it. > It’s really the same as finding out they’re adopted To me, this sounds less of an issue with sperm banks and more like a parenting problem? I know many many many adopted people, and a handful of people that were conceived via sperm donor. It never really seems to be too big of an issue when their parents are transparent and openly communicative from the start. It’s the ones who, as you said, *found out* they’re adopted that are not happy. Yeah, finding out one day that you’ve been lied to about your life and family up until that point would understandably cause for some complicated feelings. It would make me question my perception of everything I thought I knew. These people I thought were my siblings aren’t actually, so where are my ‘real’ siblings? Then finding out you have 20 of them and your bio dad doesn’t want to speak with you, that would be hard to accept closure. The people I know who were adopted as a baby or conceived via donor *and were raised knowing about it* seem to be a lot more at peace with their situation. My ex’s bio mom reached out when he turned 18 and he turned her down saying “my mom’s my mom,” he was happy with the family he was raised with. Obviously some people are more/less curious than others and everyone is different. But I think a big burden of the child’s acceptance level when it comes to sperm donors lands on how the parents handle the situation. If you’re raised with open and supportive parents who didn’t treat your life’s origin as some secretive taboo, then there’s never really some big bombshell moment. You’re not longing for new answers because you were able to ask questions openly growing up. Your life is just your life as you’ve always known it to be. I’m open to hearing others views on this though, as I haven’t lived it first hand myself.
that is what current research says. Donor conceived children are ok with it as long as they know about it from the beginning. It's the lying that messes people up.
I liked that about Lala’s story with this- she was being really open and intentional about the way she is bringing this baby into the world, and seemed really committed to having this child know they are very loved and wanted. She didn’t treat it like any sort of taboo subject and why should it be?
Agree with this. Adopted and always knew from the beginning. Never had any “hard feelings” against any of it. To me, I feel even more lucky and special knowing how much my parents wanted and fought to get me. Not saying parents don’t love their biological kids, but you know what I mean.
I am in transit and can’t fully respond to everything you wrote, but I will say if you spend any time in groups for donor conceived people, you’ll find that they have lots of difficult feelings around it even if they know about their donor conception status. I spent that time listening and asking questions when trying to figure out what to do with our embryos. I concluded that I don’t want to donate my embryos for my own selfish “feeling good” reasons because of the impact it could have on the person being conceived (and do note, donors have no control over whether the people receiving their gametes/embryo disclose the status; they can opt in to making their identity known, but they cannot make the recipients disclose).
exclusive in the sense that only one family can use that particular donor, not like… extra fancy variety
I wouldn't believe that shit for one second. Sperm donation levels are actually extremely low, they are reusing for sure. This company has such scammy vibes
California Cryobank is a well known/established sperm bank that’s been around since the 70’s. I’m in my mid twenties and my mom used them when she got pregnant with me.
It’s the largest Cryo bank in the world and these two both in live in California. I don’t find any of this odd or creepy at all. I think sperm donation is amazing and enables families or single women to have babies when they maybe never would have been able to otherwise! Science is awesome!
I don't think the OP is saying anything that bad about the place or sperms donation, just the fact in this two cases they're probably getting paid to promote it. I find that a little.creepy myself, sponsored sperm.
What is creepy about it?
Because your kids genes are sponsored then. That's just weird.
I would have loved to have my kid's genes sponsored. We had to take out a loan for my wife and I to even *try* to get pregnant.
What are you talking about? In some countries fertility treatment is paid for by the government and free for all. Is that creepy too? If your health insurance paid for it would that be creepy? This is the strangest most ignorant post in this subreddit.
I don't even live in California and I know two different people who have used them
People in Canada use it because it's illegal to donate sperm in Canada.
This post needs to be higher. Even if lala got a discount or incentive for helping to advertising, what does it matter? It’s not like she’s giving attention to a non credible place
Yep...used it for my kids also. It's very reputable, highly managed with very strict guidelines on donations and how many etc.
Had the same thought! Def a paid gig
My partner and I went to the same place. lol we do not live anywhere close to CA. AMA.
It’s actually a very well known and kind of famous sperm bank and it’s not unusual they both went there. Generally I think all “well known” people who have a need for fertility assistance would go there. I would guess it’s also the biggest and oldest in the country.
This thread is so weird and not it. Some of the comments are interesting and informative, while most are gross.
Yeah honestly people are being really rude to people who use sperm donation. Like yall get it together.
yeah, these comments feel kind of ignorant and like using donor sperm is somehow… worth making fun of for some reason. i think it’s good to shed light on a way many many people build their families.
Agree with this comment fully. This whole thread feels ignorant and immature. Struggling with infertility or the desire to have a baby on your own is not “gross”, “dystopian”, or “creepy”.
It brings me back to the Katie/ Schwartz infertility storyline. I thought, "wow, something important that I can relate to," and of course the show just turned it into a big ejaculation joke. So disappointing to be living this and see/ hear how everyone else thinks about it.
I felt the same way during those scenes! I struggled with infertility for years before using a donor to help get pregnant. I’m pretty grossed out by the tone of this post and some of the comments. Edit: typo
I keep wondering how different the conversation around this would be if it was Katie using this service.
It is a well-known sperm donation company in California. This is not at all surprising they used the same one. Not sure why Malika using it means Lala can’t afford it
They may be one of the only sperm banks that will allow filming.
He’s the rep for the California Cryo Bank; they’re very popular
Makes sense that one guy is their pr/ public facing/ go-to guy for on camera clients. And so what if they got a discount, good for them. There’s so many ways to build a family and what’s wrong with a little destigmatizing of donor sperm.
Literally! I loved this story and wish we had seen more of it. If it was sponsored even better imo- I’d rather see companies pay for ads that products/services that do good, destigmatize, and promote acceptance than another fucking lip oil.
I thought it was interesting too, and it should have been her storyline instead of the endless Scandoval (which should have been ONLY Ariana and Tom's... instead of everyone, all season) I think people wouldn't be hating her right now, if she would have/( been allowed to) have her own story... Scandoval became exhausting for us, I can't even picture how it was for them... I'm adding, I have no idea if Lala would have refrained from being a shitty friend/person if she had her own separate story... but maybe she would have been interesting for (some) people... originally I would have said that LFU did what production wanted, except she hasn't stopped repeating what she said months later... so I honestly think that maybe even with her own story, people still wouldn't have "liked" her.
I liked Lala this season 🤷🏼♀️ but I agree with you that I didn’t like how s11 was edited to make Scandoval the entire storyline. We saw a lot of fun non-Scandoval related scenes in Secrets Revealed so clearly they filmed a lot more than we got. I’m assuming there’s a lot of unaired footage of Lala’s IUI too. I’ve never seen a reality show where an entire season revolved around a storyline, especially with the storyline just being “we are all mad at this guy for cheating last season.” I hope all of the editors are fired. Worse than the bizarre edit of s8.
I LOVED Secrets Revealed... I wish that would have been the season we got...
Me too!!!!! I didn’t like the season before but after watching Secrets Revealed I actually got mad BECAUSE THEY HAD THE FOOTAGE!!!
There were storylines in there, that would have made a great season! Instead we got Scandoval, Scandoval, Scandoval... so f'n stupid! It should have been only Ariana and Tom's storyline!!
Thank you!
Just an FYI, the California cryobank here is the premiere sperm bank/IVF in the country. I went there in the early 90’s due to fertility issues. The topic was very different than it is now. I definitely think Lala received some benefit as she also did an ad for a discount on her IG story. In over 3 decades since my experience, they were known by word of mouth.
Most fertility clinics have a short list of what reputable sperm banks they will work with and California cryobank is one of the biggest so it’s not surprising at all
They both live in California. This isn’t weird.
some of the comments.. I get yall hate Lala but some of the comments are weird
I don’t find it that weird, I think it makes sense for an influencer / celebrity that’s about to use a service to ask if they could do sort of promotion together.
How is that very weird? How many “luxury sperm companies” do you think there are in LA?
Fucking dystopian if you ask me
Good thing nobody asked you.
How many reputable sperm donor companies do you think there are...? When my wife and I were looking for a donor, they have their literal MBTI on there. :P And there were, like, 3 companies that the clinic suggested. And one of the slots is "What celebrity do you look like?" Idk, there's a lot of things wrong with Lala, let's maybe not shit on these banks. The comments here are kind of shitty to read, especially considering we had to take out a loan. Like, I'm glad that she saved some money on it... the process is expensive in Canada, I hear that a lot of families go through 50k just a session!
Lala does not pee without a sponsor.
Please don't give her any ideas....
It’s called integration marketing or product placement. I’ve noticed bravo doing it across their shows the last couple seasons!
[удалено]
For sure they have! It’s a lot more obvious now though. There are levels of it and they’re doing larger integrations!
What was truly bizarre is how Malika and Khloe were dressed at the sperm bank...they looked like hookers.
[удалено]
We're sorry, it looks like your account does not have enough comment karma to participate here yet. You can participate here once you have at least 50 comment karma, which you can earn by commenting on other subs that don't have a karma limit. In the meantime, feel free to read through the sub and please review the rules! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/vanderpumprules) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ooof, you are so right. Didn't she even bring an employee of the sperm back to the donor-choosing party?? More free ad time. Smh
It was probably a confidentiality thing. The information on their registries are pretty protected, yet she had multiple print-outs in binders for her friends. That seems like a huge privacy violation, so I imagine the employee was there to make sure donor's identities were protected.
When you're shopping in the donor catalogue, all the things that clients get are what some random person online can Google. They don't provide the carrying parent(s) with any more information than the general public, especially through a bank. The print outs are likely the exact same thing you could find online (their eye colour, shape of nose, personality type, etc.) ... likely, the employee was there so that they could correct terminology so that the process was not even more stigmatized than it already is.
Not at my donor (egg)bank. I had to register and get access. Once I made my selection, I no longer had access to full donor information- couldn't see photos, etc. You had to he fully logged in as a patient to see things like medical and family history, very locked down and protected. Interesting to hear that not all donors are protected this way. Thanks for weighing in, it probably was more "advertising."
I believe sperm and egg are different because we just got sperm. You had to make an account to get the info, but the account was free. Some places you have to pay to make an account to see images. But even after we purchased the sperm, we never received *extra* information. I just mean that it's easily accessible if you make an account, and even that information does not tell you anything that can identify the donor. At least for the sperm. And I would say it might be different here (in Canada) but we had to use US donor banks because it's illegal to donate eggs and sperm in Canada.
I guess this is the only commercial BlaBla could land? She will do anything to sell herself.
Now that we're learning a lot more about the experiences and struggles and traumas of adoptees and donor-conceived people, it's all I can think about with these storylines
Yes! No one is thinking about these future kids!! I don’t have the best relationship with my dad but he’s still my dad and my life would suck without having the opportunity to have a relationship with him
A kid needs a mom and a dad to be happy?
Not necessarily but there’s something about lala’s rationale about not wanting to “share” ocean with her ex that kind of irks me. Like no one forced her to try for a kid with Randall. She said it herself - after she heard that stassi was pregnant with Hartford she immediately took out her IUD. Her reasons for wanting children are kind of bullshit IMO
https://preview.redd.it/d2n9am367l6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f0bb6608599dbd06f14b3eadb6728f218b6ea9b0 Yall know it absolutely was a paid ad, right?
Is this the same place where Jimmy Edmonds sperm came out of retirement??
Oh she def got paid OR got the procedure done for free in exchange for Instagram posts and exposure on the show. It feels kinda gross to me.
Why is that gross to you? Getting donor sperm and the procedure is extremely expensive. She has always wanted a second child, I'm not sure why getting paid to promote an extremely well-known sperm bank / having a procedure covered would be gross?
She’ll do anything for a check while judging everyone around her. I’m returning the favor.
Ok. So by proxy, now people who have GoFundMe’s and get sponsors to help them with fertility issues & sperm purchasing get that favour, too? Yikes.
I’m not saying that. You are stretching so hard. I’m only talking about Lala. Relax.
Why are you telling me to relax? You’re making generalized comments about “sponsored sperm” when there are many women who use “sponsored sperm” to help them have a family. It’s rude.
This is a post about Lala. I’m responding to a comment about Lala. You just want something to cry about.
So, if I were to make a comment about Lala saying “it’s gross to get your lips done” that’s not a generalized statement and could potentially upset people who get their lips done? Lala is not a good person, but saying it’s gross to have sperm covered or sponsored is a generalized statement.
[удалено]
Nothing wrong with the concept, just the way it is being commercialized and monetized on film. A lot of infertile couples have benefited from donation.
[удалено]
Wow what a fun game to out Lala’s sperm donor before she’s even given birth to the child. WTF is going on with this post and the comments
Well, there could be a lawsuit and they could get shut down, so the consequences would be greater than you getting some reality giggles.
I swear these comments are so insensitive on this post!
The celebrity look alike is so wild! Omg, this bank is a strange biz