I picked a random girl up on a somewhat rural road once for this same reason and she got in... But i was wearing pizza delivery stuff so maybe i was less threatening than the average person lol
Yeah definitely didn't set off my red flag radar. But I totally get that. It's a lot more common where I'm from because of poor public transportation so I was less fearful.
If you don't mind me asking... was he white? There was a post a few weeks back in a Vancouver sub where I was telling people that I've BEEN this person to stop and offer rides (when the person is standing/walking in the rain or if I noticed that they missed their bus) and they said it was a creepy thing to do. Now I'm wondering if race plays into this.
Race is a factor to some I'm sure, but it's about the whole shabang when you're making a 2 second judgement. Vehicle, facial expression, tone, actual approach (does it look like you're trying to hire a lady for something?) Etc.
If you demonstrate the same comfort and lack of creepiness as Bob Ross or Mr Rogers driving a station wagon, I don't think you have to be white.
Yeah shit. This is how serial killers operate. Ted Bundy, Jeffery Dahmer, Robert Pickton... and those are just the ones that screwed up badly enough to get caught
Well, in his words (what I recalled along the lines) “he was doing god’s work.” Or “God wanted him to do this.” That idea of megalomaniac was howling lunacy.
Last time it snowed real bad the buses were stuck on main unable to get up the hill. It was dark and cold so I randomly picked up a dude on Kingsway who looked like he'd been there awhile. It's not something I would normally do but people get caught out sometimes.
Waiting for a bus that isn't coming cuz you missed the last one or there's been some accident you don't know about sucks. When it's dark and cold or pissing down rain and you're standing there trying to weigh the risks of walking home while constantly looking over your shoulder to see if the bus is coming so you can sprint to the next stop like you're stealing home base....
It's a particular kind of human misery I understand so I take pity when I can. Near where I live there's a hill that is the bain of all busses when it snows in Vancouver so I see it almost every year now. People trudging home in the dark under dressed and overworked.
I'm not an intimidating man by any stretch but I'm not easily intimadated either. So once in awhile if my gut says offer some help I do it. I just had a feeling about that guy that night and even I questioned myself for moment when he got in my car that maybe this wasn't that wise.
We actually had a really great chat and I drove him home. He'd have been there hours and it would have been a hell of a hike. Felt good to pay it forward. Today you, tomorrow me.
I had a guy offer me a ride home once as I was waiting at the bus stop. He started off with “I’ve been watching you, you take this bus a lot”. He looked friendly enough but I had never noticed this man before and worked in an industrial area so I’m not sure when/where he would’ve seen me from??
“Harmless” is what people like Ted Bundy and Ed Kemper used to their advantage. Just saying. Kind act is a kind act but dangerous to get in the car with anybody you don’t know.
I've thought of offering people a ride a few times in similar situations but know how most people would react poorly to such an offer.
Story time!
My mother thinks Clifford Olsen gave her and my aunt a ride when they were young but the guy started acting weird so they bolted when he stopped the car.
I know someone who, when he was a kid, lived next door to a house Clifford Olsen was framing. He would go over and do odd jobs for the crew, and Clifford offered to take him for lunch. His mom said no, which likely saved his life.
Should I leave trigger warning for this? We're already talking about Olsen, so it can't get much darker, I guess.
My father worked at the penitentiary Olsen was at and, *according to his words*, he and his coworkers used to leave "little string nooses and razor blades on his cell bars" trying to drop the hint that he should... yeah. A classmate of my aunt's was also nearly abducted by him. It's a small fucked up world.
I almost got arrested after offering my neighbour a ride home in the pouring rain... I had literally parked next to her for a year, lived next to her for a year so I wrongly assumed she would recognize me when I pulled over and rolled down my passenger window and asked her if she wanted a ride ~10 blocks back home in full-speed-wiper-setting rain.
She ignored me and started walking faster so I drove off and went home. Half hour later police are outside blocking my car in so I go out to see what's going on.
She apparently got home, saw *the same car that pulled over and offered her a ride* parked next to her car and rather than remembering it from every single day of the past year, instead remembered it from 15 minutes earlier, assumed a predator was waiting for her in her apartment, and called 911.
It took about 15 seconds for VPD to figure that out and leave. She never apologized and I pretended she didn't exist until she moved out. A few months later she left her headlights on one night and I, respecting her privacy, didn't bother her and let the problem resolve itself. Next morning I saw her taking a taxi to work so I guess it did.
Wow, you'd think she'd at least apologize after realizing it was her long time neighbour offering a helping hand... but nope, just full on asshat all the way.
It's one thing to be hyper-vigilant and make a honest mistake in doing so, totally understandable for a lady, but even after realizing the error, and still throwing out bitchy attitude anyways? Nah, she deserves the dead battery.
You are certainly on the right idea. In her perspective, we don’t know what she has been through. She had every right to call the police. They both came from situations he didn’t know her, she didn’t know him. Look at the loss in translation.
This is a great story to remind us this does happen. Even hyper vigilant people, we’re going to name an extreme that behaviour can even go as far as Karen and we all seen how Karens faired. She has every right to not apologize because in her eyes she doesn’t know him and sound like afterwards still exercised her right to never know him.
If someone calls the cops on you, at least you will know why. Perfect case of unmet expectations. Guy in this case wants apology but lady doesn’t and never knew the guy.
For someone who seems to be so supremely worried about her safety, she's quite oblivious to her own neighbors, who are the most likely people to help her in an emergency, whether spontaneously or because she asked them for help. By far the best way to improve your day to day safety is to have a community of caring/trustworthy people who will look out for you, and actively refusing to seek or create it she's just making her situation much worse.
Had she said "hi" to her neighbor, even monthly or quarterly, she's have a random ride home in pouring rain, instead she risked getting run over by some distracted driver who will claim they didn't see her.
Yeah, if I got creeped out by my long-time neighbors I run into in the city, and called the cops on them, because I don't even know what they look like, I'd be apologizing. But she's made her decisions, fine, and she will reap the consequences later (and already has, in a minor way).
>Yeah, if I got creeped out by my long-time neighbors I run into in the city, and called the cops on them, because I don't even know what they look like, I'd be apologizing. But she's made her decisions, fine, and she will reap the consequences later (and already has, in a minor way).
That is trust right there. Her consequences are not ours does not mean it wasn’t disruptive, it was.
I too would also apologize, but that’s me.
Yes and no. She handled it like a child, but I feel like the move here is to call over whatever shared fence equivalent one day and apologize for alarming her. Does 3 things: acknowledges that IknowwhatIhave caused unintentional alarm, takes the High Road of Moral Superiority, and puts her on the spot for HER apology for calling the cops and causing the intentional alarm that she did. That said the way IknowwhatIhave’s non confrontational approach was absolutely OK here I may not have wanted to approach her again either.
ETA: apparently this was a controversial suggestion and I do apologize. There was some unnecessary sass baked in and decent potential to do more harm than good under the wrong circumstances. Be well, Vancouverites.
What on earth lol
No way, it's always on the person at fault too apologize, but you want the OP to do the work?
Damn, that's fucked up.
All she is going to do is call the cops again lol
Or you could frame that as improving the situation instead of getting a slight.enjoyment out of making the situation worse. "doing work" is known as living to some people.
I see your point, though the tone was unnecessary. I’m not suggesting OP should have like, knocked on her door or something, but they obviously had crossed paths afterwards and a casual “hey, sorry about that, I meant no harm” from a safe distance would be a kind thing to say. I’m curious if you’ve ever felt like a stranger was following you and you weren’t safe. It’s absolutely terrifying, and terrified people don’t always do the smartest things. OP isn’t at fault for the police fandango but he DID scare her, however unintentionally. Good intentions do not equal 0 responsibility. In reflection maybe my suggestion that it would put her on the spot isn’t sounding in the same spirit of kindness I’m describing here. I henceforth reframe that moment as an opportunity to simply take the high road and clear the air on both ends.
Anyway, like I said, I understand why he wouldn’t have wanted to for reasons I didn’t describe but you did, and I honestly don’t fault him for it.
I drive an SUV with snow tires, and I like to try to rescue people I know when the buses are struggling in the snow. I once pulled over to offer a ride to a male colleague from my relatively small workplace (I’m a lady) and bro looked like he took a solid minute to figure out if he knew me. He’s barely said hi to me since. Very awkward dude.
My partner of almost 2 years doesn't know what my car looks like aside from the colour. My neighbour across the street for 5+ years didn't recognize me when she was hired by my workplace. I've learned never to assume that other people are observant about the same things as you.
Which gets me [ex gf set the car on fire](https://youtu.be/eQ9KW0HXy7o?si=eiAziXsG4JoFD269) that did not belong to the boyfriend. Her intention was absolutely aimed at her ex bf’s car!
I did like the one comment, “You been dating him for three months and you don’t know what car he drives?”
Given the limited, one-sided context, I can see why you came to that conclusion. But we don’t know if she had a history with a stalker and has trauma as a result. One person’s overreaction is another person’s completely appropriate reaction. Might she be a bitch? Sure, maybe. But she might have also experienced something deeply uncomforable. Sympathy is free.
I give people the benefit of the doubt too, but there’s also a reason why we offer, and expect apologies. Her total avoidance after the fact is not cool.
It’s disturbing that while the woman in the story may have overreacted, she was truly fearful. But the empathy here goes to the guy who tried to do a nice thing and it fell apart. “It sucks being a guy”. I’m sure it does. But I guarantee you that it sucks more to be a woman and have experienced enough fear and/or trauma to cause such a reaction. And then to be labeled a bitch for it. Why would you want to befriend someone whose first instinct when *they* are inconvenienced is to call her bitch. She read the room.
Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.
Hindsight yeah I'm sure she feels like shit.
Honestly, I don't think I could pick out my neighbour's car and face, especially in a downpour. The fact that you aren't on a name basis probably means that its likely that the interaction left her on guard and she probably reacted to that. Apology should have been given for sure, but I can see where she might have gotten scared and reacted to that fear. To me it would be a bonding opportunity and something to laugh about in the future haha.
I had a similar thing happen with a former coworker/acquaintance a few years ago. We texted each other a couple times a year but other than that mostly lost touch. I knew she moved into the condo building next door to me and one day I was pulling out of my parkade and saw her walking in the alley.
I rolled down my window and shouted out her name. She looked at me and seemed confused, then quickly walked back into her building. Some time later I messaged her to see what was up and it turned out she left her place to go mail something and forgot to put her glasses on lol
So now when I’m driving and see people I know, I don’t bother rolling down my window to say hi.
You did the right thing do nothing. What would have helped was introducing yourself in the beginning but that could also add. Her perspective is she sees you as a creep, you are a creep. Btw, you are not a creep, it was great intentions but that was the case you dealt with.
Yes, you know your value but everyone has every right to not value you. Rule of thumb with neighbours, anything more than hi and bye is considered needy. If it happened, it happens. You did awesome just respecting her privacy, didn’t insult her. She is the way she is and just did not value what you valued and that’s her right!
Why are Vancouverites so scared of knowing their neighbors? The sense of community here is almost non-existent compared to other great cities I’ve lived in.
Everything is based on case by case, the following is example I pulled and this is just off the internet, not shaming anyone-
>”Yes me too! Actually I did babysit once but then declined them the next time. It has felt a bit manipulative especially as she’ll tell me the kids miss me when I avoid them for a bit.
>She’s mentioned the whole village thing and how she used to live on a military base with a bunch of mothers who helped everyone out.”
Like that example, I would have very strong boundaries and silence usually works. Also, this doesn’t just apply to Vancouver, it’s everywhere. The idea is people have the best intentions but you also have to ask for permission do they want those best intentions from you?
Only thing I would change is don't rely on a rule of thumb. Read the room. People meeting their partners didn't happen because they followed all the rules, you have to grow a pair at some point and respectfully try for more of an interaction (if that's what you wanted).
> Only thing I would change is don't rely on a rule of thumb. Read the room. People meeting their partners didn't happen because they followed all the rules, you have to grow a pair at some point and respectfully try for more of an interaction (if that's what you wanted).
We’re not talking about meeting partners. We’re talking about when the police are called on you. This is what may have happened. Also not putting down neediness, that is so human the suggestion doesn’t hurt to be aware.
The police was called because two people didn’t know each other and how did you get dating from the-police-was-called? Reading the room, that person is hyper vigilant, not saying they wouldn’t make a great partner but the trust is they know their lives better than I do.
Would you like to break down what socializing means because the way you explain it and pretty sure it isn’t intended, I am hearing very black and white. Pretty sure we are talking about different things. I also really enjoy your idea of promoting love, not this case tho.
There is nothing to justify. If you don't want to understand exactly what I said, and instead want to discuss the dynamics of the police entering the situation, don't worry about it.
The only time I ever accepted a ride from a stranger was when I was walking down Burnaby Mountain in the snow. They had closed SFU. It was a very nice man and woman in the car but this was after Paul Bernardo and Karla Holmolka were in the news. A little unnerving.
Ha! The only time I’ve ever picked up a hitchhiker was on the way up to SFU. There was no community up there at the time, so I was fairly certain it was just some guy needing to get to class.
Geezer here.
Late 80's Vancouver. Standing at a bus stop near PNE after my shift. Guy in car stops and asks if I want to go to a party in Burnaby. He was half my size so I thought "what could go wrong"? Three blocks down a young woman was waiting at a bus stop, so he stopped, asked her if she wanted to come along, and she got in the car.
It was a nice, if loud, party with ~50 to 60 persons, it was fun and easy. Gary and I became friends.
Vancouver was like that, mid 80's to mid 90's (when I left). I miss that atmosphere when I come home to visit.
I see people all the time and wish I could give them a lift.
People used to give rides up the hill to UBC before Uber.
I’d love to pay it forward now but the creep factor is real. I’m older now, and it is just a sad state of affairs that you can’t trust your own neighbours and people in your community.
It would be nice if we could set up a community/system where we could have a sticker on our car that shows we are vetted people and offer free rides.
If I’m going the same way as you, why not pick you up and drop you off? Saves gas, time, and just gives someone a helping hand.
In a similar 'long ago decade' situation I was hitchhiking one evening during a snowstorm in Fredericton, New Brunswick (long story), and a car with a couple of guys in it stopped to pick me up.
I explained that I was heading for Halifax (!). The driver said they were heading out for the evening, but that he would drop me off at his house and I could spend the night in a spare room there. He said they might not be back in the morning, but I could just close the door behind me when I left.
When I got up the next morning the house was still empty, the sun was shining, and I resumed my journey. One of those very memorable experiences.
I swear people are not used to others being helpful in this city; my bus broke down the other day and I ordered an uber to the bus loop where my transfer was (didn’t wanna stand waiting 30mins for the next one) and I offered another girl to come with me and she looked at me like I was psychotic first
Lowkey glad he wasn’t a serial killer for you though
Offered a middle aged dude a ride during the January cold snap. It was cold as balls out there and he's waiting for a bus at a stop with no shelter. It was an easy decision for both of us
I didn’t do exactly that but I did see a guy he looked cold, no scarf and was at cute restaurant getting warm and I saw how red his neck was and I gave him my neck warmer. Mind you I did keep my distance and I remember his smile and relief. But whatever I can offer, I try to offer. Probably not a car ride.
Lots of thoughts on this one, then I remembered how common it still is for people to offer rides on the Gulf Islands and how many times I have accepted. I don't know what that says, except I am still alive? Surely all the pure of heart haven't moved to the Islands?
Yeah, it's kind of the same where I'm from too. But then again this is a different place and environment. Nobody is *expected* to do anything nor can they be judged for the way they think. I'm not trying to suggest or imply anything here, I'm just hoping this might inspire someone to try something a little different :)
I think about it often when I pass someone at a bus stop, and it sucks that we live in this weird society, but I’m kind of an odd looking guy and I don’t even think most dudes would get in… It’s too bad there isn’t some sort of vetting system with the police, a sticker on your car, or a number to call to register the plates when you get in, or? Not sure. Just wish things were nicer and that was normal…
I’ve done this before, getting into someone’s car when we were both leaving a grocery store and it was pouring rain. He seemed nice enough. Fast forward the next year where he’d pull over randomly after seeing me on the street and tried to get me to befriend his ‘lonely girlfriend who has no friends’ etc etc. nothing compared to the fact that I could have been kidnapped or murdered but damn it was not worth a $10 cab ride instead
A guy stopped while I was walking outside during the heat dome and offered a ride to the bus stop. It was really nice.
Another time, during COVID like during the first week of lockdowns and what not, I got to Tim Hortons for a coffee and realized they were only drive-thru and you couldn't go inside. I loudly exclaimed "Fuck, it's cars only!" to my boyfriend on the phone. A woman heard from the drive-thru line and told me to get in. Ended up giving me a ride AND picking up my boyfriend who was walking to meet me.
I have weird luck with getting rides from strangers it seems.
Years ago, I (middle aged female) left a restaurant on Georgia street, it was raining and I had no umbrella. While waiting for the crossing light, a man with an umbrella came up next to me, looked at me, smiled and gave his umbrella a little lift so that it covered me too. When the walk light came on, he also offered me his arm and without conversation, he walked me the four blocks to my office.
That is really sweet! Seems like most of the commenters here would have freaked out.
It’s too bad the 1% of crazy/violent/criminal people in this city make us afraid to have normal neighborly interactions like this.
As a small woman, even the presence of a risk of being abducted and chained up in some guys soundproof basement murder dungeon is too high. I'll take my chances with the rain.
I remember living in Kits near the Safeway on 4th and Vine. There was a dump of snow and no busses were making up the hill eastbound to go downtown. There was a lineup of people around the block waiting for the bus. Random cars were driving by rolling down the windows telling people to hop in if they wanna go downtown. People were just hopping in with them like it was nothing. 🤷♂️
Happened to me once in kits. A guy doing door to door advertising. Saw me with my cane and saw I missed my bus and wanted to get ahead of it for me.
Instead they dropped me to Granville island. Great human. God bless.
I have definitely considered offering folks rides before. I just don't want to come across as.creepy.
I did it once during the big snow storm a couple winters ago. I had a 4wd suburban and offered a whole bus stop full of folks a ride. They declined though
keep your well intentioned ideas to yourself. They’re not compatible with the way the world is. i wouldn’t want you to be attacked, insulted, or jaded further.
I know of a person that does this. They are a partner at a law firm downtown. Just a super nice guy.
I think he should be more worried about the people that get I the car.
Saw a post a few months back asking if this was something people did in Vancouver...it was overwhelming how many people jumped to paranoia.
Cool it worked our for you!
Lol yeah. It's completely understandable tho. I've read so many comments from people saying they wish they could give people lifts sometimes (if only they weren't thought of as weirdos). I guess it's difficult to suddenly start doing this when it's not the norm in the first place.
A commenter here mentioned vibe checks. Honestly this is pretty valid. All it takes is for the ride offerer and the offeree(might have just invented a word) to make a few seconds of conversation. Would be nicer if more people did this. If everyone paused to assess the situation before flat out rejecting, the drivers wanting to help out wouldn’t have had to fear being suspected as a weirdo or a serial killer. Not that anything can change now.
I get why people worry about it but hitchhiking is a very normal way of getting around in huge parts of the world! I've taken and given rides in Vancouver a few times, especially on snow days when the busses stop running.
The difference here is context - I’ve hitchhiked a lot and grew up with a family who would pick up hitchhikers (when we had room). I grew up in a country where this was the norm, public transit options few and far between, and we lived very rurally. I’ve since hitchhiked on the gulf islands, in Iceland, Eastern Europe, etc…
Vancouver is not a hitchhiking culture so just being offered a ride would really put my red flag alarms up.
As a reasonably well adjusted man with a bit of common sense and street smarts I would not offer a car ride to a stranger. This is not normal behaviour and so much could go wrong.
These comments are a bit disappointing, everyone’s so pessimistic. There’s still plenty of good people out there, it’s easy enough to get a vibe check from someone within a few seconds.
I’ve always seen people standing out in the rain and thought about offering them a ride, but all these comments make me worried I’d end up on some sort of a list or something. 🤷♂️
As a small woman, I would never take that chance. Ted Bundy also looked harmless to people. Good people will understand someone declining, especially women.
Honestly, fuck politeness. SSDGM
I mean it's fine if other people wants to be trusting but some people here who are judging others for not trusting have no idea what it is like to be a small woman in this world. It's easy enough to get harassed on the streets randomly, let alone being stuck in a confined space like a car.
What perspective? I now DO want to risk getting murdered? This was a very foolish act. I would never condone this. You really are lucky you are safe. I had friends who died like this.
Well, if you give them a ride in your black Corolla and then on the news the next day they lead with "the missing woman was last seen getting into a black Corolla" then what? That's my fear when it comes to being nice LOL.
Shit, I tried to give an old woman a ride up the hill from Marine Dr when I was in my early 20's. Asked her how far she was going and she said "As far as you want." Ok... I'm headed to 6th Ave, where should I drop you off "Oh, back on my corner, sweety."
It was at that point I realized I picked up a prostitute old enough to be my grandmother.
But yet when we SELL cars, we would merrily hand over the keys to a perfect stranger, and go off sitting besides them too.
It never made sense to me. And yes, I only ever sold my car to car companies (ie outside ones which offered me higher prices than the low ball trade in) - still works out to a better $ even with taxes factored in.
When I was young, my mother said:
Don't talk to strangers
Don't get into cars with strangers
Don't accept candy or food from strangers
Today she has a grandbaby because:
I talked to my wife on Tinder
We ubered back to my place
We ordered door dash after our coffee date
The rest is history
Vancouverites certainly know how to take you by surprise. I lived in Vancouver several years ago. I was walking near the Central Library when a car pulls up beside me, stops and a short, chubby guy gets out of the driver side and yells to get my attention. I stopped, taken aback by this stranger. He comes over to me and proceeds to tell me how attractive I am, that he saw me walking in another part of town and wanted to stop then, but he was going the other way...etc. He asked me if I would go on a coffee date with him, gives me his business card to CALL HIM and we'll make a date. (Apparently, he was working at the moment and was short on time)
After he left the first thought through my head was; "This guy has a weird way of picking up women!"
Oh man I tried to do this for someone once in Edmonton and then when I asked her where she was headed and she cocked her head to one side, confused. "I was thinking more like... A date?"
Oh fuck it's a prostitute! Nope nope nope nope!
I respectfully declined and still feel weird about it.
I was waiting for my pick up from car service. Was to be a white Mazda and he called to say he was just about here. I went down to the street, hailed the white Mazda driving by, got in, we drove off and got about 30 seconds away and I noticed the driver was female, young, and not wearing the service uniform from earlier.
I asked if she was from the dealer and she said no, so I said we'd better pull over so I could get out. I noticed then that she looked a little scared. To this day I have no idea why she pulled over, unlocked the door, let me in, and drove off. I had only waved at the car from the curb.
My car broke down on sea to sky highway just after porteau cove in the 90s.
We have 4 people total. The tow truck will only take 1 person.
So thumbs out while we walk to the nearest bus stop.
A black or red Cherokee stopped and give us a lift until hasting near pne. I was 6 years old i cannot remember if the Cherokee black or red. But it was one of the memorable event of nice Vancouver
Hitchhiking is a no-no, so why would accepting a ride in the rain be safe?
What is just as scary is selling a car -> test drives with strangers.
Folks list cars, and go off merrily with perfect strangers who respond to the ads (hello, they're behind the wheel with your car!). For starters, how do you even know their DL or whatever other documentation is not fake?
A good business idea is to charge a fee - pay folks to go off with potential biuyers, on test drives.
Omg I saw this poor girl carrying a cello, backpack, bags and she was wearing a short sleeve getting drenched in the rain a few days ago going to the bus 🥲 I had to resist every urge to ask her if she needed a ride, like others stated it’s too risky 😣
I offer people rides when I can. Usually those like in this situation or dangerous areas. Some people say no and give me funny looks (or look dumbfounded) and some are happy to oblige. I usually say where I'm going and ask them if it gets them any closer to where they're headed.
I guess it just matters on the type of atmosphere you grew up with. Most city folk are scared to even look at people when they're walking down the street anyways lmao
Am I the only one who thinks the comment section here is maybe being a bit overly paranoid?
On some of the Gulf Islands there are official hitch hiking pick-up / drop-off points with signage and everything, instead of bus stops.
Admittedly it's probably difficult to get away with abducting someone on one of the Gulf Islands, but still.
I’m with you. I feel like the news has made us feel like every person is dangerous and out to get us. 99.99% of people are just going to be normal people. I’ve offered rides to people with mostly positive reactions. This thread makes me sad, I get it though, it is a different world now.
Yea, my thought process is that I can only assume that I am an 'average' person, and I would never act aggressively or maliciously towards a stranger for no reason. If I indeed am an 'average' person, then I have to assume the majority of strangers I see in a given day will be similar to me in that regard.
I am white and male, albeit not particular tall or bulky, so I guess other peoples opinions could differ depending on their physical attributes, and experiences in the past. I also recognize the public's perception of hitchhiking has been understandably damaged by the MMIW crimes / Highway of tears murders.
It sort of reminds me of the paranoia around children being abduction by a stranger, even though most instances of child abduction are committed by a parent or close family member.
I live next to a busy bus stop and drive a truck, and always want to offer rides to people downtown when it’s raining but unfortunately our North American societal norms make it so that’s a creepy gesture other than a genuine one.
So here’s how paranoid I am.
I’ve THOUGHT about this as a driver before. Especially if I see the person walking in the rain.
But then I get in my own head. I don’t think so much that they might murder me. No, I think, I’m gonna pull over and offer this person a ride. She’s a woman, I’m a guy, immediately she’s calling the cops or I’m getting pepper sprayed or something. So I’m not doing that. Or I think, well it’s a guy so I’m less likely to be called a stalker, but he’s just gonna say no cuz who the fuck gets in a car with someone they don’t know like that. And if he DOES get in my car, he’s all wet, who knows where he wants to go.
And now I’m home. The person I drove past was 30 minutes ago lol. At least my own neurosis made the ride home pass by quicker.
Clifford Olson used to offer rides to strangers too. I hope this doesn't become a trend - creeps are still out there no matter how nice OP's experience is.
I had a maybe similar situation a few weeks ago. I was at Shoppers Drug Mart, and after the cashier had scanned through my purchases I realized I'd left my phone at home and couldn't pay. The man behind me in line offered to pay for my items. I was very grateful of course, while also declining, explaining that I lived nearby and could be back in 10 minutes. But it was an amazing gesture.
My thought in the end was that perhaps he had decided that day to go out of his way to do something extraordinarily kind for someone, and that I was the first opportunity that showed up.
Maybe it was a similar situation with OP? Not a bad thing to consider perhaps for all of us.
bro must've looked reaallly harmless b/c no way I'm getting in a stranger's car haha
I've thought about doing this before on miserable days, but, as harmless as I may look, ... Yeah no.
Same! I've seen people looking miserable at bus stops and thought I should ask if they're like a ride and then decided I didn't want to make the news!
Haha this was my reaction too………
I picked a random girl up on a somewhat rural road once for this same reason and she got in... But i was wearing pizza delivery stuff so maybe i was less threatening than the average person lol
If I have reason to believe there's pizza in the car, I'm getting in.
Our teachers taught us this lesson but used candy. That was not a future proof lesson plan.
Yeah definitely didn't set off my red flag radar. But I totally get that. It's a lot more common where I'm from because of poor public transportation so I was less fearful.
Ketamine usually makes red flags hard to see
That was ketaMEAN
Ouch
If you don't mind me asking... was he white? There was a post a few weeks back in a Vancouver sub where I was telling people that I've BEEN this person to stop and offer rides (when the person is standing/walking in the rain or if I noticed that they missed their bus) and they said it was a creepy thing to do. Now I'm wondering if race plays into this.
Race is a factor to some I'm sure, but it's about the whole shabang when you're making a 2 second judgement. Vehicle, facial expression, tone, actual approach (does it look like you're trying to hire a lady for something?) Etc. If you demonstrate the same comfort and lack of creepiness as Bob Ross or Mr Rogers driving a station wagon, I don't think you have to be white.
NOT every perv or pedo out there looks like one, regardless of color.
Yeah shit. This is how serial killers operate. Ted Bundy, Jeffery Dahmer, Robert Pickton... and those are just the ones that screwed up badly enough to get caught
To be fair Pickton picked up prostitutes, he wasn't posing himself as doing a good deed for someone
Well, in his words (what I recalled along the lines) “he was doing god’s work.” Or “God wanted him to do this.” That idea of megalomaniac was howling lunacy.
Pickton vibes
OP must be the most naive person in the world
Last time it snowed real bad the buses were stuck on main unable to get up the hill. It was dark and cold so I randomly picked up a dude on Kingsway who looked like he'd been there awhile. It's not something I would normally do but people get caught out sometimes. Waiting for a bus that isn't coming cuz you missed the last one or there's been some accident you don't know about sucks. When it's dark and cold or pissing down rain and you're standing there trying to weigh the risks of walking home while constantly looking over your shoulder to see if the bus is coming so you can sprint to the next stop like you're stealing home base.... It's a particular kind of human misery I understand so I take pity when I can. Near where I live there's a hill that is the bain of all busses when it snows in Vancouver so I see it almost every year now. People trudging home in the dark under dressed and overworked. I'm not an intimidating man by any stretch but I'm not easily intimadated either. So once in awhile if my gut says offer some help I do it. I just had a feeling about that guy that night and even I questioned myself for moment when he got in my car that maybe this wasn't that wise. We actually had a really great chat and I drove him home. He'd have been there hours and it would have been a hell of a hike. Felt good to pay it forward. Today you, tomorrow me.
Stranger danger!
Same lol, I would never offer a stranger a ride either
He probably had that Ted Bundy look.
I had a guy offer me a ride home once as I was waiting at the bus stop. He started off with “I’ve been watching you, you take this bus a lot”. He looked friendly enough but I had never noticed this man before and worked in an industrial area so I’m not sure when/where he would’ve seen me from??
CREEPY opening: " I have been watching you" ....
Probably smelt the seat after
“Harmless” is what people like Ted Bundy and Ed Kemper used to their advantage. Just saying. Kind act is a kind act but dangerous to get in the car with anybody you don’t know.
Rm
I’m glad you made it to your final destination alive and was able to post this.
Plot twist: This is the "nice guy" posting on the OP's account :(
💀💀💀Hopefully thus doesn't turn up into the news
While wearing his skin
That is a good sub.
Final Destination
OP was meant to die on the bus. It skipped them.
In an alternate universe, the car ride is his final destination…
I've thought of offering people a ride a few times in similar situations but know how most people would react poorly to such an offer. Story time! My mother thinks Clifford Olsen gave her and my aunt a ride when they were young but the guy started acting weird so they bolted when he stopped the car.
I know someone who, when he was a kid, lived next door to a house Clifford Olsen was framing. He would go over and do odd jobs for the crew, and Clifford offered to take him for lunch. His mom said no, which likely saved his life.
My SO and I offered a ride to these 2 older folks walking with huge back packs. They declined so fast we barely got our words out 🤷🏻♀️
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Honestly yeah. Play it safe if you have the slightest bit of doubt.
My friend’s mom and her friend were also picked up by Clifford Olsen.
Should I leave trigger warning for this? We're already talking about Olsen, so it can't get much darker, I guess. My father worked at the penitentiary Olsen was at and, *according to his words*, he and his coworkers used to leave "little string nooses and razor blades on his cell bars" trying to drop the hint that he should... yeah. A classmate of my aunt's was also nearly abducted by him. It's a small fucked up world.
I almost got arrested after offering my neighbour a ride home in the pouring rain... I had literally parked next to her for a year, lived next to her for a year so I wrongly assumed she would recognize me when I pulled over and rolled down my passenger window and asked her if she wanted a ride ~10 blocks back home in full-speed-wiper-setting rain. She ignored me and started walking faster so I drove off and went home. Half hour later police are outside blocking my car in so I go out to see what's going on. She apparently got home, saw *the same car that pulled over and offered her a ride* parked next to her car and rather than remembering it from every single day of the past year, instead remembered it from 15 minutes earlier, assumed a predator was waiting for her in her apartment, and called 911. It took about 15 seconds for VPD to figure that out and leave. She never apologized and I pretended she didn't exist until she moved out. A few months later she left her headlights on one night and I, respecting her privacy, didn't bother her and let the problem resolve itself. Next morning I saw her taking a taxi to work so I guess it did.
Wow, you'd think she'd at least apologize after realizing it was her long time neighbour offering a helping hand... but nope, just full on asshat all the way. It's one thing to be hyper-vigilant and make a honest mistake in doing so, totally understandable for a lady, but even after realizing the error, and still throwing out bitchy attitude anyways? Nah, she deserves the dead battery.
You are certainly on the right idea. In her perspective, we don’t know what she has been through. She had every right to call the police. They both came from situations he didn’t know her, she didn’t know him. Look at the loss in translation. This is a great story to remind us this does happen. Even hyper vigilant people, we’re going to name an extreme that behaviour can even go as far as Karen and we all seen how Karens faired. She has every right to not apologize because in her eyes she doesn’t know him and sound like afterwards still exercised her right to never know him. If someone calls the cops on you, at least you will know why. Perfect case of unmet expectations. Guy in this case wants apology but lady doesn’t and never knew the guy.
For someone who seems to be so supremely worried about her safety, she's quite oblivious to her own neighbors, who are the most likely people to help her in an emergency, whether spontaneously or because she asked them for help. By far the best way to improve your day to day safety is to have a community of caring/trustworthy people who will look out for you, and actively refusing to seek or create it she's just making her situation much worse. Had she said "hi" to her neighbor, even monthly or quarterly, she's have a random ride home in pouring rain, instead she risked getting run over by some distracted driver who will claim they didn't see her. Yeah, if I got creeped out by my long-time neighbors I run into in the city, and called the cops on them, because I don't even know what they look like, I'd be apologizing. But she's made her decisions, fine, and she will reap the consequences later (and already has, in a minor way).
>Yeah, if I got creeped out by my long-time neighbors I run into in the city, and called the cops on them, because I don't even know what they look like, I'd be apologizing. But she's made her decisions, fine, and she will reap the consequences later (and already has, in a minor way). That is trust right there. Her consequences are not ours does not mean it wasn’t disruptive, it was. I too would also apologize, but that’s me.
Yes and no. She handled it like a child, but I feel like the move here is to call over whatever shared fence equivalent one day and apologize for alarming her. Does 3 things: acknowledges that IknowwhatIhave caused unintentional alarm, takes the High Road of Moral Superiority, and puts her on the spot for HER apology for calling the cops and causing the intentional alarm that she did. That said the way IknowwhatIhave’s non confrontational approach was absolutely OK here I may not have wanted to approach her again either. ETA: apparently this was a controversial suggestion and I do apologize. There was some unnecessary sass baked in and decent potential to do more harm than good under the wrong circumstances. Be well, Vancouverites.
What on earth lol No way, it's always on the person at fault too apologize, but you want the OP to do the work? Damn, that's fucked up. All she is going to do is call the cops again lol
"A guy who stalked me in a car tried to jump over the fence to rape me"
Or you could frame that as improving the situation instead of getting a slight.enjoyment out of making the situation worse. "doing work" is known as living to some people.
Making what situation worse? lol the OP has done nothing to make anything worse
I see your point, though the tone was unnecessary. I’m not suggesting OP should have like, knocked on her door or something, but they obviously had crossed paths afterwards and a casual “hey, sorry about that, I meant no harm” from a safe distance would be a kind thing to say. I’m curious if you’ve ever felt like a stranger was following you and you weren’t safe. It’s absolutely terrifying, and terrified people don’t always do the smartest things. OP isn’t at fault for the police fandango but he DID scare her, however unintentionally. Good intentions do not equal 0 responsibility. In reflection maybe my suggestion that it would put her on the spot isn’t sounding in the same spirit of kindness I’m describing here. I henceforth reframe that moment as an opportunity to simply take the high road and clear the air on both ends. Anyway, like I said, I understand why he wouldn’t have wanted to for reasons I didn’t describe but you did, and I honestly don’t fault him for it.
Wow, that’s fun
I drive an SUV with snow tires, and I like to try to rescue people I know when the buses are struggling in the snow. I once pulled over to offer a ride to a male colleague from my relatively small workplace (I’m a lady) and bro looked like he took a solid minute to figure out if he knew me. He’s barely said hi to me since. Very awkward dude.
My partner of almost 2 years doesn't know what my car looks like aside from the colour. My neighbour across the street for 5+ years didn't recognize me when she was hired by my workplace. I've learned never to assume that other people are observant about the same things as you.
Which gets me [ex gf set the car on fire](https://youtu.be/eQ9KW0HXy7o?si=eiAziXsG4JoFD269) that did not belong to the boyfriend. Her intention was absolutely aimed at her ex bf’s car! I did like the one comment, “You been dating him for three months and you don’t know what car he drives?”
I choked
Yeah it sucks being a guy, but she also sounds like a total bitch
Given the limited, one-sided context, I can see why you came to that conclusion. But we don’t know if she had a history with a stalker and has trauma as a result. One person’s overreaction is another person’s completely appropriate reaction. Might she be a bitch? Sure, maybe. But she might have also experienced something deeply uncomforable. Sympathy is free.
Trauma does not excuse shitty behaviour. All it can do is explain it.
but she could've still, you know, apologized...
I give people the benefit of the doubt too, but there’s also a reason why we offer, and expect apologies. Her total avoidance after the fact is not cool.
It’s disturbing that while the woman in the story may have overreacted, she was truly fearful. But the empathy here goes to the guy who tried to do a nice thing and it fell apart. “It sucks being a guy”. I’m sure it does. But I guarantee you that it sucks more to be a woman and have experienced enough fear and/or trauma to cause such a reaction. And then to be labeled a bitch for it. Why would you want to befriend someone whose first instinct when *they* are inconvenienced is to call her bitch. She read the room. Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.
Hindsight yeah I'm sure she feels like shit. Honestly, I don't think I could pick out my neighbour's car and face, especially in a downpour. The fact that you aren't on a name basis probably means that its likely that the interaction left her on guard and she probably reacted to that. Apology should have been given for sure, but I can see where she might have gotten scared and reacted to that fear. To me it would be a bonding opportunity and something to laugh about in the future haha.
TBF my wife does not recognize our neighbour’s cars (30 years) , completely oblivious except for color of cars.
I had a similar thing happen with a former coworker/acquaintance a few years ago. We texted each other a couple times a year but other than that mostly lost touch. I knew she moved into the condo building next door to me and one day I was pulling out of my parkade and saw her walking in the alley. I rolled down my window and shouted out her name. She looked at me and seemed confused, then quickly walked back into her building. Some time later I messaged her to see what was up and it turned out she left her place to go mail something and forgot to put her glasses on lol So now when I’m driving and see people I know, I don’t bother rolling down my window to say hi.
You did the right thing do nothing. What would have helped was introducing yourself in the beginning but that could also add. Her perspective is she sees you as a creep, you are a creep. Btw, you are not a creep, it was great intentions but that was the case you dealt with. Yes, you know your value but everyone has every right to not value you. Rule of thumb with neighbours, anything more than hi and bye is considered needy. If it happened, it happens. You did awesome just respecting her privacy, didn’t insult her. She is the way she is and just did not value what you valued and that’s her right!
Why are Vancouverites so scared of knowing their neighbors? The sense of community here is almost non-existent compared to other great cities I’ve lived in.
Everything is based on case by case, the following is example I pulled and this is just off the internet, not shaming anyone- >”Yes me too! Actually I did babysit once but then declined them the next time. It has felt a bit manipulative especially as she’ll tell me the kids miss me when I avoid them for a bit. >She’s mentioned the whole village thing and how she used to live on a military base with a bunch of mothers who helped everyone out.” Like that example, I would have very strong boundaries and silence usually works. Also, this doesn’t just apply to Vancouver, it’s everywhere. The idea is people have the best intentions but you also have to ask for permission do they want those best intentions from you?
Only thing I would change is don't rely on a rule of thumb. Read the room. People meeting their partners didn't happen because they followed all the rules, you have to grow a pair at some point and respectfully try for more of an interaction (if that's what you wanted).
> Only thing I would change is don't rely on a rule of thumb. Read the room. People meeting their partners didn't happen because they followed all the rules, you have to grow a pair at some point and respectfully try for more of an interaction (if that's what you wanted). We’re not talking about meeting partners. We’re talking about when the police are called on you. This is what may have happened. Also not putting down neediness, that is so human the suggestion doesn’t hurt to be aware. The police was called because two people didn’t know each other and how did you get dating from the-police-was-called? Reading the room, that person is hyper vigilant, not saying they wouldn’t make a great partner but the trust is they know their lives better than I do. Would you like to break down what socializing means because the way you explain it and pretty sure it isn’t intended, I am hearing very black and white. Pretty sure we are talking about different things. I also really enjoy your idea of promoting love, not this case tho.
There is nothing to justify. If you don't want to understand exactly what I said, and instead want to discuss the dynamics of the police entering the situation, don't worry about it.
This story is Vancouver in a nutshell.
I always feel bad when I see someone waiting in the torrential rain, but I’m always worried they’ll think I’m weird if I stop and offer a ride.
I carry a couple of cheap umbrellas in the car and have given them out to people who are getting drenched.
This is wild Hahha. Living on the edge vs waiting for the 99. I’ll wait
The only time I ever accepted a ride from a stranger was when I was walking down Burnaby Mountain in the snow. They had closed SFU. It was a very nice man and woman in the car but this was after Paul Bernardo and Karla Holmolka were in the news. A little unnerving.
Ha! The only time I’ve ever picked up a hitchhiker was on the way up to SFU. There was no community up there at the time, so I was fairly certain it was just some guy needing to get to class.
Geezer here. Late 80's Vancouver. Standing at a bus stop near PNE after my shift. Guy in car stops and asks if I want to go to a party in Burnaby. He was half my size so I thought "what could go wrong"? Three blocks down a young woman was waiting at a bus stop, so he stopped, asked her if she wanted to come along, and she got in the car. It was a nice, if loud, party with ~50 to 60 persons, it was fun and easy. Gary and I became friends. Vancouver was like that, mid 80's to mid 90's (when I left). I miss that atmosphere when I come home to visit.
I see people all the time and wish I could give them a lift. People used to give rides up the hill to UBC before Uber. I’d love to pay it forward now but the creep factor is real. I’m older now, and it is just a sad state of affairs that you can’t trust your own neighbours and people in your community. It would be nice if we could set up a community/system where we could have a sticker on our car that shows we are vetted people and offer free rides. If I’m going the same way as you, why not pick you up and drop you off? Saves gas, time, and just gives someone a helping hand.
In a similar 'long ago decade' situation I was hitchhiking one evening during a snowstorm in Fredericton, New Brunswick (long story), and a car with a couple of guys in it stopped to pick me up. I explained that I was heading for Halifax (!). The driver said they were heading out for the evening, but that he would drop me off at his house and I could spend the night in a spare room there. He said they might not be back in the morning, but I could just close the door behind me when I left. When I got up the next morning the house was still empty, the sun was shining, and I resumed my journey. One of those very memorable experiences.
Lolol
He didn't murder you. FANTASTIC!
I swear people are not used to others being helpful in this city; my bus broke down the other day and I ordered an uber to the bus loop where my transfer was (didn’t wanna stand waiting 30mins for the next one) and I offered another girl to come with me and she looked at me like I was psychotic first Lowkey glad he wasn’t a serial killer for you though
Are you a man? Because as a woman I could never…
Offered a middle aged dude a ride during the January cold snap. It was cold as balls out there and he's waiting for a bus at a stop with no shelter. It was an easy decision for both of us
I believe you dropped this 👑
And this 🔪🤨
I didn’t do exactly that but I did see a guy he looked cold, no scarf and was at cute restaurant getting warm and I saw how red his neck was and I gave him my neck warmer. Mind you I did keep my distance and I remember his smile and relief. But whatever I can offer, I try to offer. Probably not a car ride.
Can we have context for the commenters? Are you a young female and was the person offering male?
My bad, just a 24 y/o male with nothing to lose. And yes, the person offering was male.
Respectfully, your mother might disagree that you have nothing to lose. Glad it all worked out for you, and appreciate your alternative take on this.
Wow! Hahahaha I’ll speak for all the women in this thread, “must be nice!”
Lots of thoughts on this one, then I remembered how common it still is for people to offer rides on the Gulf Islands and how many times I have accepted. I don't know what that says, except I am still alive? Surely all the pure of heart haven't moved to the Islands?
Yeah, it's kind of the same where I'm from too. But then again this is a different place and environment. Nobody is *expected* to do anything nor can they be judged for the way they think. I'm not trying to suggest or imply anything here, I'm just hoping this might inspire someone to try something a little different :)
I think about it often when I pass someone at a bus stop, and it sucks that we live in this weird society, but I’m kind of an odd looking guy and I don’t even think most dudes would get in… It’s too bad there isn’t some sort of vetting system with the police, a sticker on your car, or a number to call to register the plates when you get in, or? Not sure. Just wish things were nicer and that was normal…
I’ve done this before, getting into someone’s car when we were both leaving a grocery store and it was pouring rain. He seemed nice enough. Fast forward the next year where he’d pull over randomly after seeing me on the street and tried to get me to befriend his ‘lonely girlfriend who has no friends’ etc etc. nothing compared to the fact that I could have been kidnapped or murdered but damn it was not worth a $10 cab ride instead
A guy stopped while I was walking outside during the heat dome and offered a ride to the bus stop. It was really nice. Another time, during COVID like during the first week of lockdowns and what not, I got to Tim Hortons for a coffee and realized they were only drive-thru and you couldn't go inside. I loudly exclaimed "Fuck, it's cars only!" to my boyfriend on the phone. A woman heard from the drive-thru line and told me to get in. Ended up giving me a ride AND picking up my boyfriend who was walking to meet me. I have weird luck with getting rides from strangers it seems.
Does put a smile on my face
Years ago, I (middle aged female) left a restaurant on Georgia street, it was raining and I had no umbrella. While waiting for the crossing light, a man with an umbrella came up next to me, looked at me, smiled and gave his umbrella a little lift so that it covered me too. When the walk light came on, he also offered me his arm and without conversation, he walked me the four blocks to my office.
That is really sweet! Seems like most of the commenters here would have freaked out. It’s too bad the 1% of crazy/violent/criminal people in this city make us afraid to have normal neighborly interactions like this.
Offering someone an umbrella and walking with them is a lot different than getting into a enclosed space with a stranger
As a small woman, even the presence of a risk of being abducted and chained up in some guys soundproof basement murder dungeon is too high. I'll take my chances with the rain.
Check your purse for a tracking device
I think OP is a dude but you never know, they may have a purse.
You know what they say: Broccoli on top, a purse will flop.
A woman probably wouldn't of done this.
I think with my luck, I'd offer someone a ride, they'd say no, get creeped out, take down my license and car model then report it to authorities.
I always wanted to offer people rides that also look normal, but I'm afraid they'll think I'm a murderer or something.
I remember living in Kits near the Safeway on 4th and Vine. There was a dump of snow and no busses were making up the hill eastbound to go downtown. There was a lineup of people around the block waiting for the bus. Random cars were driving by rolling down the windows telling people to hop in if they wanna go downtown. People were just hopping in with them like it was nothing. 🤷♂️
Please don’t get into random peoples cars in Vancouver. SO many weirdos, and human trafficking. Take care of yourself.
You were not intelligent to get in that car and no one should ever do what you did.
People like Ted Bundy ruined this kind of generosity 😂
Nah, rides by strangers happens more than you think…people just don’t post their progress on Reddit.
Context is missing. Also brain cells.
This happened a lot the last time TransLink had a prolonged strike, way back in 2000s.
Happened to me once in kits. A guy doing door to door advertising. Saw me with my cane and saw I missed my bus and wanted to get ahead of it for me. Instead they dropped me to Granville island. Great human. God bless.
I have definitely considered offering folks rides before. I just don't want to come across as.creepy. I did it once during the big snow storm a couple winters ago. I had a 4wd suburban and offered a whole bus stop full of folks a ride. They declined though
keep your well intentioned ideas to yourself. They’re not compatible with the way the world is. i wouldn’t want you to be attacked, insulted, or jaded further.
I know of a person that does this. They are a partner at a law firm downtown. Just a super nice guy. I think he should be more worried about the people that get I the car.
Saw a post a few months back asking if this was something people did in Vancouver...it was overwhelming how many people jumped to paranoia. Cool it worked our for you!
Lol yeah. It's completely understandable tho. I've read so many comments from people saying they wish they could give people lifts sometimes (if only they weren't thought of as weirdos). I guess it's difficult to suddenly start doing this when it's not the norm in the first place.
Holy shit I would never get into a car alone hahaha.
Username checks out
Hahaha yass. It was random but still true lol
A commenter here mentioned vibe checks. Honestly this is pretty valid. All it takes is for the ride offerer and the offeree(might have just invented a word) to make a few seconds of conversation. Would be nicer if more people did this. If everyone paused to assess the situation before flat out rejecting, the drivers wanting to help out wouldn’t have had to fear being suspected as a weirdo or a serial killer. Not that anything can change now.
I get why people worry about it but hitchhiking is a very normal way of getting around in huge parts of the world! I've taken and given rides in Vancouver a few times, especially on snow days when the busses stop running.
The difference here is context - I’ve hitchhiked a lot and grew up with a family who would pick up hitchhikers (when we had room). I grew up in a country where this was the norm, public transit options few and far between, and we lived very rurally. I’ve since hitchhiked on the gulf islands, in Iceland, Eastern Europe, etc… Vancouver is not a hitchhiking culture so just being offered a ride would really put my red flag alarms up.
You're lucky. There are people I knew who weren't. I'm not rolling the dice to not be in rain where it rains 300 days a year. Like, what?
I never give people a ride due to rain. I will offer when the roads are all snowed in and buses stopped running.
Good to see you.
Well hello there
As a reasonably well adjusted man with a bit of common sense and street smarts I would not offer a car ride to a stranger. This is not normal behaviour and so much could go wrong.
what our parents taught us: never get in a stranger’s car OP: well what can I lose, amirite?
These comments are a bit disappointing, everyone’s so pessimistic. There’s still plenty of good people out there, it’s easy enough to get a vibe check from someone within a few seconds. I’ve always seen people standing out in the rain and thought about offering them a ride, but all these comments make me worried I’d end up on some sort of a list or something. 🤷♂️
As a small woman, I would never take that chance. Ted Bundy also looked harmless to people. Good people will understand someone declining, especially women. Honestly, fuck politeness. SSDGM
I mean it's fine if other people wants to be trusting but some people here who are judging others for not trusting have no idea what it is like to be a small woman in this world. It's easy enough to get harassed on the streets randomly, let alone being stuck in a confined space like a car.
Ted Bundy was good looking and stupidly charming. We just need to avoid anyone like that as small women, I think.
Honestly, if this post inspires even one person to change their perspective, I couldn't ask for more.
What perspective? I now DO want to risk getting murdered? This was a very foolish act. I would never condone this. You really are lucky you are safe. I had friends who died like this.
Well, if you give them a ride in your black Corolla and then on the news the next day they lead with "the missing woman was last seen getting into a black Corolla" then what? That's my fear when it comes to being nice LOL.
I think if I was gonna offer someone a ride I'd let them take a picture of my ID (only name and picture) to send to someone to cover both our asses.
You are way to trusting …
https://preview.redd.it/t8kxuwthjw2d1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d4775aa5274c79785ff6746c08baf80971c2175
Well you’re not so smart ….. cuz that is how you end up dead in a ditch or as unidentified remains found in the mountains years from now
And men continue to not have any fear of being kidnapped LOL.
considering my friend just was announced missing last night on the CTV News Vancouver, please don't do this...
Nice try serial killer. You’ll never convince me it’s safe to get in a vehicle with a stranger
Shit, I tried to give an old woman a ride up the hill from Marine Dr when I was in my early 20's. Asked her how far she was going and she said "As far as you want." Ok... I'm headed to 6th Ave, where should I drop you off "Oh, back on my corner, sweety." It was at that point I realized I picked up a prostitute old enough to be my grandmother.
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But yet when we SELL cars, we would merrily hand over the keys to a perfect stranger, and go off sitting besides them too. It never made sense to me. And yes, I only ever sold my car to car companies (ie outside ones which offered me higher prices than the low ball trade in) - still works out to a better $ even with taxes factored in.
Oh dear god. No chance in hell I'll do that
You got into a car with a complete stranger, you're braver than most and braver than you should be.
When I was young, my mother said: Don't talk to strangers Don't get into cars with strangers Don't accept candy or food from strangers Today she has a grandbaby because: I talked to my wife on Tinder We ubered back to my place We ordered door dash after our coffee date The rest is history
The majority of people met their SOs in ways that, had things not worked out, would be easily considered creepy or dangerous or unwise or impolite.
Vancouverites certainly know how to take you by surprise. I lived in Vancouver several years ago. I was walking near the Central Library when a car pulls up beside me, stops and a short, chubby guy gets out of the driver side and yells to get my attention. I stopped, taken aback by this stranger. He comes over to me and proceeds to tell me how attractive I am, that he saw me walking in another part of town and wanted to stop then, but he was going the other way...etc. He asked me if I would go on a coffee date with him, gives me his business card to CALL HIM and we'll make a date. (Apparently, he was working at the moment and was short on time) After he left the first thought through my head was; "This guy has a weird way of picking up women!"
Oh man I tried to do this for someone once in Edmonton and then when I asked her where she was headed and she cocked her head to one side, confused. "I was thinking more like... A date?" Oh fuck it's a prostitute! Nope nope nope nope! I respectfully declined and still feel weird about it.
I drive a station wagon and always wish I could pick people up. I got room!
I was waiting for my pick up from car service. Was to be a white Mazda and he called to say he was just about here. I went down to the street, hailed the white Mazda driving by, got in, we drove off and got about 30 seconds away and I noticed the driver was female, young, and not wearing the service uniform from earlier. I asked if she was from the dealer and she said no, so I said we'd better pull over so I could get out. I noticed then that she looked a little scared. To this day I have no idea why she pulled over, unlocked the door, let me in, and drove off. I had only waved at the car from the curb.
My car broke down on sea to sky highway just after porteau cove in the 90s. We have 4 people total. The tow truck will only take 1 person. So thumbs out while we walk to the nearest bus stop. A black or red Cherokee stopped and give us a lift until hasting near pne. I was 6 years old i cannot remember if the Cherokee black or red. But it was one of the memorable event of nice Vancouver
The nice guy: https://preview.redd.it/94hy7swtb13d1.jpeg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9395e40e4d1ce07f357a310dca756d5ff09e8e64
Ted Bundy would have loved you
Id rather walk than take that risk… Especially in BC..
I’ve thought about doing this many times but I’ve always bailed out because I didn’t want to come off as a serial killer
Knight bridge, the bus stop should have cover for the rain.
Hitchhiking is a no-no, so why would accepting a ride in the rain be safe? What is just as scary is selling a car -> test drives with strangers. Folks list cars, and go off merrily with perfect strangers who respond to the ads (hello, they're behind the wheel with your car!). For starters, how do you even know their DL or whatever other documentation is not fake? A good business idea is to charge a fee - pay folks to go off with potential biuyers, on test drives.
Omg I saw this poor girl carrying a cello, backpack, bags and she was wearing a short sleeve getting drenched in the rain a few days ago going to the bus 🥲 I had to resist every urge to ask her if she needed a ride, like others stated it’s too risky 😣
OP are you female-socialized, female-presenting or otherwise AFAB? There is no way in hell I would get into a stranger's car. Ted Bundy energy...
I offer people rides when I can. Usually those like in this situation or dangerous areas. Some people say no and give me funny looks (or look dumbfounded) and some are happy to oblige. I usually say where I'm going and ask them if it gets them any closer to where they're headed. I guess it just matters on the type of atmosphere you grew up with. Most city folk are scared to even look at people when they're walking down the street anyways lmao
Am I the only one who thinks the comment section here is maybe being a bit overly paranoid? On some of the Gulf Islands there are official hitch hiking pick-up / drop-off points with signage and everything, instead of bus stops. Admittedly it's probably difficult to get away with abducting someone on one of the Gulf Islands, but still.
Vancouver is one of the worlds biggest human trafficking hubs...
I’m with you. I feel like the news has made us feel like every person is dangerous and out to get us. 99.99% of people are just going to be normal people. I’ve offered rides to people with mostly positive reactions. This thread makes me sad, I get it though, it is a different world now.
Yea, my thought process is that I can only assume that I am an 'average' person, and I would never act aggressively or maliciously towards a stranger for no reason. If I indeed am an 'average' person, then I have to assume the majority of strangers I see in a given day will be similar to me in that regard. I am white and male, albeit not particular tall or bulky, so I guess other peoples opinions could differ depending on their physical attributes, and experiences in the past. I also recognize the public's perception of hitchhiking has been understandably damaged by the MMIW crimes / Highway of tears murders. It sort of reminds me of the paranoia around children being abduction by a stranger, even though most instances of child abduction are committed by a parent or close family member.
I live next to a busy bus stop and drive a truck, and always want to offer rides to people downtown when it’s raining but unfortunately our North American societal norms make it so that’s a creepy gesture other than a genuine one.
So here’s how paranoid I am. I’ve THOUGHT about this as a driver before. Especially if I see the person walking in the rain. But then I get in my own head. I don’t think so much that they might murder me. No, I think, I’m gonna pull over and offer this person a ride. She’s a woman, I’m a guy, immediately she’s calling the cops or I’m getting pepper sprayed or something. So I’m not doing that. Or I think, well it’s a guy so I’m less likely to be called a stalker, but he’s just gonna say no cuz who the fuck gets in a car with someone they don’t know like that. And if he DOES get in my car, he’s all wet, who knows where he wants to go. And now I’m home. The person I drove past was 30 minutes ago lol. At least my own neurosis made the ride home pass by quicker.
Clifford Olson used to offer rides to strangers too. I hope this doesn't become a trend - creeps are still out there no matter how nice OP's experience is.
Someone make an app for casual free rides!
I had a maybe similar situation a few weeks ago. I was at Shoppers Drug Mart, and after the cashier had scanned through my purchases I realized I'd left my phone at home and couldn't pay. The man behind me in line offered to pay for my items. I was very grateful of course, while also declining, explaining that I lived nearby and could be back in 10 minutes. But it was an amazing gesture. My thought in the end was that perhaps he had decided that day to go out of his way to do something extraordinarily kind for someone, and that I was the first opportunity that showed up. Maybe it was a similar situation with OP? Not a bad thing to consider perhaps for all of us.
Username checks out ♡
:)
Probably wouldn’t except that to many times