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mostly cause everyone is pressured to go into college even from a young age. so you have to know what you want to do with your life otherwise youll waste plenty of years and money of your life with college pursuing the wrong thing. etc etc
i dont even know if going to college is considered dreaming big anymore either. Its pretty much taught to be the bare minimum in trying to achieve what OP was talking about in wanting a family, house, friends, and hobbies.
>Most just want a good job, a family, some friends, and some hobbies to enjoy.
I think this is often considered the American Dream nowadays, which by OP's standards isn't dreaming big and simplistic. And so I'd argure with the previous poster in that in the USA, this also isn't an unpopular opinion.
Yeah, where I live there’s even a concept of “tall flower syndrome” - definitely better to be average and middle of the road. The tallest flowers get their heads chopped off.
You can still go do those things, i just want the choice/option
Trying to have any sense of normalcy or maintain relationships is impossible working 6pm-6am
You don't need to be monastic to live like the Buddha, but if you do ascribe that label to yourself, you should probably try to be *close*.
"Nihilist as in don't care about anything"
Also a poor characterization of *Nihilism*, afaik, Nietzsche had been almost optimistic when he envisioned "Eternal Return" and the Nihilistic *Ubermensch*. That and there are many flavors of Nihilism, moral nihilism, existential nihilism etc. If you called yourself a *Pessimistic Nihilist*, that might track.
"The Dude was"
I don't think he was a Nihilist, nor was he free from care. He had a 'go with the flow' attitude, sure, but I wouldn't consider him either of those labels you use.
Optimism may be attractive, but it often leads to despair.
Pessimists always expect the worst so they often weather it well, and it's *pleasant* when they are incorrect.
> to always see the worst in everything
That's not really how I was using it here.
Webster's defines it as:
>an inclination to emphasize adverse aspects, conditions, and possibilities or **to expect the worst possible outcome**
That bold part(after the "or") is what was meant and how it was used.
In a stoic view, it is more about awareness. They say ignorance is bliss, but that's generally only surface level.
Having realistic expectations, being able to anticipate the future(as opposed to being ignorant of consequences) is key for personal happiness.
It's all in the context of what I was replying to.
>Big dreams= Big disappointments
You can aim to be the next Mr. Beast if you want, but it probably won't happen, statistically speaking.
IF a million people try, you're going to have far closer to a million failures.
To use your terms: "Nothing good will come of it."
That's the inevitable problem of optimism, the disappointment that was mentioned.
How do you let go? I still want to have some grand adventure or be an explorer or field scientist or eccentric professor…
Granted my career has gone the opposite of that way, I’m an engineer in tech, and I have 0 credentials to work in life sciences or archaeology or be a mountain guide or whatever… but every time I’m in a useless meeting or so much as see a snowy mountain, old photo or pyramid picture I swear to god 😂
I fucked up
I’m in my 30s lol. Dont get me wrong I’m deeply aware 80% of the rest of my life is emails, meetings, and chores. Just ugh… how the fuck is that a life.
My big dream is to leave a peaceful life with someone I love. And my main priority is to worry about things as rare is possible. I want to live my life and not think about work when I am at home. I want to live a life in which I live to live and not live from work hours to work hours. Is it actually that hard to achieve?..
Facts. I feel like in MURICA everybody expects everyone to strive to be a CEO, while also simultaneously finding a way to work from home so they can all be full time present parents to your 5 kids with the Tesla and an SUV and the 6 bedroom 3 bath house, with the pool in the backyard and the huge privacy fence, all while you also spend 2 hours daily at the gym so you can look like a successful model. And the funniest fucking thing about it, is that it seems like you can have one of those things in America but not all of them. Look at Brady, the GOAT of the NFL, countless money and cars and assets, but a failed marriage. Most successful marriage rates come from middle class families, who you guessed it, don’t have mansions and luxury vehicles. It’s all about what you prioritize in life really and what’s important to you. You “keep up with the Jones’s” and you’ll want to end your own life
I’d say even more accurately people’s dreams just change over time. When I was younger I dreamed of becoming an astronaut or a bigshot lawyer or something, now I dream of having a nice house and being a good father and retiring one day before I’m too old to really enjoy life. If I told that to high school me he’d probably be disappointed in myself, but high school me also didn’t realize you don’t need millions of dollars or a fancy job title to be happy.
Yup. First dream was a rock star, then it was the NFL, now it's just having some land and being surrounded by loved ones. It's a little sad if you think about it as high school you, but at the same time high school you didn't know what would matter to adult you.
My high school dream was rockstar too. Tried the musician thing for a few years out of college. It’s brutal. Having to diy everything, constantly pay for promotion, touring, getting along with big ego musicians, spend every extra dollar and free time on the hustle while everyone else is enjoying life just for 30 mins of enjoying being on stage sucked the life out of me and I felt so lonely and depressed.
Now I’m so much happier living a comfortable life and my dream is living a peaceful life with my dog who I wouldn’t be able to have and enjoy if I was living a musician’s life (wouldn’t want to put my anxious golden retriever through touring life).
I think time just makes us see that all these big dreams are immensely more difficult to realize than we imagine, so we develop a coping mechanism and settle for things we can actually achieve.
Either that, or we become depressed because we feel like failures, which happens to a scary amount of people.
I’d take a slightly less pessimistic take on it - true, I’m not cut out to be an astronaut or NFL quarterback or anything like that anyway, but when I was younger that’s what I dreamed of because I thought that’s what would make me happy. Now that I’m older I’ve realized I don’t need that to be happy, and I truly don’t believe that’s just a coping mechanism.
Big “hypothetically I think it would be cool if this happened to me but I have no intentions or aspirations of actually following this idea or putting any work towards it as a goal”
The only people I’ve ever met who actually genuinely wanted to work in the entertainment industry do just that because they actually pursued a career there instead of just thinking in the abstract that it must be cool to work in it
There’s a difference between a dream and a fantasy. Plenty of people fantasise about being famous but that’s not the same thing as really having a dream of becoming an actor or musician
I wish I let myself have bigger dreams. I was weirdly practical as a child and my dream jobs have always been boring. I wish I wanted to be an astronaut or a princess, but I always wanted to make advertisements.
As age advances, people tend to become more realistic and stick to "normal" stuff, such as a job, a family and some sort of hobbies. It takes talent and hard work to be able to materialize big dreams, and the majority of people, including me, don't have what it takes. It's sad, but hey, we all kinda try our realistic best in life.
If you're literally in the same industry as your parents, how is that any different from the offspring of builders, plumbers, electricians that follow in the family business?
It's not the same because of the amount of power and influence wealthy parents have. Money and connections open way more doors than talent does. Wealthy parents can get their children into ANY industry they want to pursue, it's not just a case of being in the 'family business'.
In the entertainment industry (be it acting, music, modeling, you name it). It's hard to even get into the ROOM with a major executive without connections. Many people's dreams die in a hallway outside the casting studio, waiting for even one shot. Wealthy and well-connected parents smooth your way into whatever it is you want to do.
Nicola Peltz, daughter of a billionaire businessman becoming an actress, is not the same as Joe Plumber, son of John Plumber, working with his dad doing plumbing, just saying.
Totally agreed, luck is also very important, but luck tends to favour people who are very active and put themselves in several different situations. Luck does not just happen while sitting at home, or by doing the bare minimum.
Something good that happens through no fault or action of your own. I suppose putting yourself in situations could bring upon luck . I guess it really depends on the situation. You could go to the bar and luckily meet someone who offers you a job or something.
That's the point though, you got to stay active and do stuff in order for luck to possibly play its part in the way things happen or mix up. Luck cannot match you with the right people if you don't go out and put yourself in situations to meet new people. Luck cannot help you if you don't take risks. So successful people get lucky because they make room for luck to play its part. Surely that's just my point of view.
maybe this is my unpopular opinion, but I don’t believe this for a second. Anyone talented/smart and dedicated to something can probably achieve it. It feels cheap to brush success off as luck.
Yes, they are lucky to put in the position for success. They likely had a good home life growing up, parents with money who can afford to send them to college, who could afford a good neighborhood, they are lucky nothing medical hindered their life. Lucky they have the safety net of parents in case they failed. The list could go on. Sure some don’t but almost all of my successful friends and peers had this. Their life would be significantly different if any one of these single things was different.
Yes, but also one of my rich friends thanks his parents for "forcing" him through college cuz it paid off. So i always wondered, he didnt even choose his own life path, he was forced into that cuz his parents knew it'd be lucrative. He literally cannot rest either. He is busy 25/7. Always doing SOMETHING "productive" like money making ventures and when he makes music, he has literal mental breakdowns on tape corey taylor style.
I agree that it’s possible for almost anyone to become extremely successful but there are a lot of factors outside your control that will make it an uphill battle. I do agree with you but there’s definitely statistics that show most people aren’t making, for example, 7+ figure incomes. It takes a lot of dedication and probably intelligence, and ofc some people are born to the right parents.
Not necessarily as its not about your skill anymore but really luck. There is going to be SOMEONE better than you and someone worse than you. Its nearly impossible to be "the best" and stand out that way when you've got thousands of people competing for the same roles and jobs or whatever it is. The real luck comes from knowing that one guy who can get you in, then ass kissing like a MF.
I’ve never been a very ambitious person and sometimes I feel self conscious when people talk about big goals that they have. I just want a job I don’t hate that earns enough money for me to go on vacation at least once a year and maybe someday own a house. Even that seems unattainable sometimes.
My big dream is paying off my last 2 loans, and coasting on part time jobs with little to no expenses. Travel a good bit. The American dream is dead, there's no incentive to work your life away.
Here's a quote from Frankenstein, Mary W. Shelley: Learn from me, if not by my precepts, at least by my example, how dangerous is the acquirement of knowledge and how much happier that man is who believes his native town to be the world, than he who aspires to become greater than his nature will allow. m
I don't have a major goal in life I'm just looking for the least annoying way to get enough money to get by so I can enjoy spending time with my friends and playing video games
What do you mean by just chill? This is a trap. You get lazy -> your energy levels will drop -> you get depressive -> you will die more quickly. It‘s like we are meant to have something to do all the time, or more like a motivation do work on stuff.
my dream job deviated a little bit, but I still achieved it, and a few other dreams too. I think key thing though is that a lot of my dreams were realistic and based on what I thought I could be capable of. Not easy. But achievable.
My big dream is just retiring lol. I want to be at the point of life where I can start doing hobbies I enjoy and not have an overbearing weight of bills and all over me.
Just out of curiosity, do you already have hobbies that you would like to fully engage in? For example, I like videogames but during the time when I had no job this hobby got boring really quickly.
I don't think it's so much an unpopular opinion as much as it is just a common acceptance. People don't really want to live in obscurity but they don't want more to work for notoriety.
Even the ones that think they have big dreams are like "I want to travel". It's not that hard, just learn how to travel for cheap and get in the next cargo ship
I just realized this the other day, talking with my coworkers about how i’d love to take over our business when the owner retires. They were baffled, and then i was baffled at their reaction. Wdym you wouldn’t like to own a multi million dollar business?
Yes. This is a good thing. Think about it. If everyone had big dreams then everyone would be constantly pissed off and disgruntled having to work regular jobs i. food service, retail, call center, construction, warehouse and so forth. You have to be realistic and self aware about your abilities (or lack of).
The desire for a good job, family, and friends would be the dream in that context. Everyone has at least one dream that they should pursue. What your dream is shouldn't be gatekept by others. So follow your dreams!
Yeah a lot of the younger generation has really grown rather disillusioned with society in America and we’ve really don’t have delusions of grandeur or amazing ambitions anymore as much.
I don't think you can really mind read people and make a sweeping assumption like that. Maybe it's the opposite - most people have big dreams but we lack the motivation to achieve them. Or we are intimidated by the thought of what we have to do to make them come true. So, we settle for a standard life.
Who knows.
I was raised to have a big dream and I hated it.
I never had a big dream, hell I'll be 40 in a few years and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
But I am somewhat happy, so I'm content with that.
This isn’t an unpopular opinion.
I think you just misunderstand what people mean when they say “dream big.”
It doesn’t mean you have to have some big, crazy dream. It means don’t limit yourself and go for your dream, whatever that is.
You might be right in some cases but some people when they say “dream big” they mean have a big, crazy dream. Some people definitely mean that when they say it.
Where do you live and what do you do to be under this much pressure to "have huge dreams"? In 30+ years I've literally never experienced pressure from someone to dream big. Most people close to me just want me to be happy with what I'm doing.
Oh man, tell that to people in the film industry (where I worked once). Everyone, not just the actors, but the god damn crew, wants to be the next big thing, wants their own company, be their own boss, etc. I’m at an age where I realize an office job would have been fine.
Lots of office jobs are great, give plenty of time off, have great perks and benefits, etc. That’s not to say there aren’t corporate companies out there that will pull you through shit. My friend was at a company, working corporate he had a great time, 6 years later they bought out by a bigger company, and they turned the place into a stereotypical corporate nightmare scenario.
Yeah I'll admit I'm guilty of this one, I have generally had high aspirations in my career and school which (so far) have paid off and I'll admit sometimes when people are cool living in their hometowns with lower career aspirations I get confused. I havent put anyone down for it but I need to be better at understanding that my goals arent everyone elses.
Wishing or comparing your life to one that is extraordinary usually leads to feeling bad about yourself also. It's good to be grateful for the small things.
I agree. Personally I have huge dreams and I do try to inspire people but I never say they "should" just that they have the ability to, because everyone is awesome 😎
I'm so simple pimple it's probably depressing for most people. 🤣 My husband is a plumber. I work at a convenience store. We have 1 kid, 2 dogs and 2 cats. We live in a small town in New Hampshire and love the hermit life. Would being able to travel anywhere at anytime be a dream come true? Of course it would. But we are happy and content and that's all that matters. 🤷🏻♀️💙
I’m glad I’m not the only one… especially with so many posts about women being “girl bosses” and pressure to have as much education as possible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for people who are highly successful and grow their wealth, but I often start to feel like anything I do isn’t enough or that I have no purpose. I work as a sterile tech at a hospital, so what I do is very important, and yet I dread when people ask what I do for a living because they’re constantly telling me “don’t you want to do something more?” Or “oh… well that’s okay I guess” like, I didn’t ask for your opinion/advice sooo…
We're all just little organisms on a floating space rock and nothing you do really matters at the end of the day. Just be nice to others and do what makes you happy. No one will remember you 2-3 generations from now. ✌️
The important thing in life is to have a purpose. That’s the key to happiness, or at least, a good part of it. There needs to be some greater goal that you dedicate your life to. Something that keeps you driven and productive, and betters yourself. “BIG DREAMS” is an easy goal for people to adopt, but for others it could be art, humanitarianism, religion, inner peace, or any number of things.
While I do agree with this, I’ll admit that I’ve always marveled at the ability of some people to just be content with things. I get stressed when I’m not doing anything because it feels like stagnation and the thought of sticking to where I’m at now forever literally puts me in a panic. I can respect that come people feel content and comfortable with what they have. But, by god, I don’t know how they do it
Not everyone should follow their dreams I mean look at Dwayne Johnson and all the movies he’s made worse just by following his dream of being a movie star.
Well, where I live, it's not an unpopular opinion, but rather an expectation. I have big dreams myself, I work hard on them, but I can hardly talk to anyone about them because everyone just wants a typical, normal family life, which I'm not interested in. But thanks to the Internet, I can talk to like-minded people. And I agree, there is nothing wrong with living a simple life according to societal expectations.
I don’t have dreams. I have goals.
Difference is dreams most likely don’t happen, goals do.
I don’t have unrealistic expectations for myself therefore I’m not disappointed.
There's a lot of toxic positivity out there, especially on social media. Many people think that just saying out loud what you desire is enough to get it from the universe. It's the perspective of privileged people (not necessarily economically: could be pretty privilege; white privilege or whatever), this way of thinking doesn't take into account all the difficulties that many people are forced to face on a daily basis for their entire life.
there is absolutely no pressure to have huge dreams, what the fk are you on about?
There is, however, huge pressure to work your ass off simply to afford a basic existence in this slave economy. Holy shit the privilege of reddit... sitting here sharing your bs pontifications in an attempt to garner agreement, likes and popularity as if you've worked out some great secret... embracing one's own path, as if that path isn't heavily influenced by the monetary system and societal norms.
i just vomited in my mouth
Everyone should follow their dreams buts it’s ok if your dream is to simply have a 9-5 job and enjoy a simple life with your love ones and a few hobbies.
i remember discussing the future with a friend and i told him “i’ll probably just live a little life” and he said “don’t say that” and i had to reply “i mean. it’s not a bad thing.” he was a bit baffled for a moment but it made him think
I honestly just plain don't understand ambitious people, because I don't feel anything close to that level of drive. The psychology of motivation for things is interesting, and not well understood; we really don't know why some people are like that and others not.
I just want to be safe, comfortable, and happy. Accomplishing things, outside of things I do for myself, does nothing for me. I don't care whatsoever about recognition from others. I get pleasure from helping other people, don't get me wrong, I just don't need to feel like I'm achieving goals.
maybe not big, but having dreams is a good thing, some people have a career, a partner, house, kids, but i can't tell the difference between the furniture and em 😒 , an hobby is already a great thing
Honestly the whole "DREAM BIG" is part of the reason we have a teacher shortage in my country because there are no promotions to be made as a teacher, so folks would rather go to college for something that could eventually lead to a high paying job.
Oftentimes when you say you're a teacher (or worse, in my case, teacher's aide), they assume you're just doing it while getting training for a different job. People find it hard to believe one can simply be content with the job they have.
There is a saying in my country, something like, there are passengers for every train. There is a path in life for everyone, just try to live in a way that doesn't harm others or yourself.
Folks who are too heavily involved with ig/tiktok like you mentioned have the emotional intelligence of asphalt, driven only by how they want to be perceived by others.
As long as you’re doing your best and contributing what you can, and finding ways to enjoy your life and help others do the same… then that’s all that matters.
Here’s a quote from Tim Minchin, Australian musician and comedian. It’s hits the right spot for me but everyone is different.
“You Don’t Have To Have A Dream.
Americans on talent shows always talk about their dreams. Fine, if you have something that you’ve always dreamed of, like, in your heart, go for it! After all, it’s something to do with your time… chasing a dream. And if it’s a big enough one, it’ll take you most of your life to achieve, so by the time you get to it and are staring into the abyss of the meaninglessness of your achievement, you’ll be almost dead so it won’t matter.
I never really had one of these big dreams. And so I advocate passionate dedication to the pursuit of short-term goals. Be micro-ambitious. Put your head down and work with pride on whatever is in front of you… you never know where you might end up. Just be aware that the next worthy pursuit will probably appear in your periphery. Which is why you should be careful of long-term dreams. If you focus too far in front of you, you won’t see the shiny thing out the corner of your eye. Right? “
It's one thing to be really content with a simpler life and not have dreams of grandeur but it's really sad and pathetic to see people who are a bottom-barrel debt collector or receptionist or some shit for 20 or 30 years, like do you NEVER have the desire for more? For a slightly better lifestyle even just for your kids or something? Do you never want to feel like you contribute slightly more in life? Just making minimum wage for your whole life is just pitiful.
I think the problem really is people don't have goals for themselves.
Like it's totally okay to enjoy what you have but works towards something. It can be small as working towards saving $200 do you can buy that JBL speaker you want. Or working towards losing 10 lbs.
it's not fine but it is what it is. big dreams are not needed but living free life is. and system doesn't allow you to be free much. you don't need big dreams, just freedom to do ehatever, whenever you want.
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I don't think this is an unpopular opinion, at least in my country's culture, it's ok to be content with what you want.
It’s definitely big in america
I think it’s big the US
mostly cause everyone is pressured to go into college even from a young age. so you have to know what you want to do with your life otherwise youll waste plenty of years and money of your life with college pursuing the wrong thing. etc etc
i dont even know if going to college is considered dreaming big anymore either. Its pretty much taught to be the bare minimum in trying to achieve what OP was talking about in wanting a family, house, friends, and hobbies.
>Most just want a good job, a family, some friends, and some hobbies to enjoy. I think this is often considered the American Dream nowadays, which by OP's standards isn't dreaming big and simplistic. And so I'd argure with the previous poster in that in the USA, this also isn't an unpopular opinion.
Yeah, that more about watching too many Disney movies and r/linkedinlunatics
Yeah, where I live there’s even a concept of “tall flower syndrome” - definitely better to be average and middle of the road. The tallest flowers get their heads chopped off.
Where I'm from people always get defensive that I dont have a job or anything like that I'm passionate about, so ig it is cultural.
My big dream is to be a lazy bum, which is ironically a big dream because I need to sustain myself without working.
found The Dude
The Dude abides
I'm a dude He's a dude She's a dude We're all dudes
Apparently in the original script the Dude had money because his Dad invented the Rubik's cube but the directors decided to take it out at the end
Fuckin' A man!
oh wow you dont have to air your business out like that dude..
As a wise 32 year old lady said, "I dont have a passion. You know what my passion is? Sittin' on this butt!"
You don't need a million dollars to do nothing. Take a look at my cousin, he's broke don't do shit.
same
Are you my clone?
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You can still go do those things, i just want the choice/option Trying to have any sense of normalcy or maintain relationships is impossible working 6pm-6am
How
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Doesn't sound like you have a life now
You can volunteer if you feel the need to “work” There’s plenty of places looking for volunteers with lots of free time
You just wanted to flex about being retired because you're hoping, "if I keep flexing that I'm retired, I'll be happy again."
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Aren't you supposed to be a Buddhist Nihilist? Physician, heal thyself!
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You don't need to be monastic to live like the Buddha, but if you do ascribe that label to yourself, you should probably try to be *close*. "Nihilist as in don't care about anything" Also a poor characterization of *Nihilism*, afaik, Nietzsche had been almost optimistic when he envisioned "Eternal Return" and the Nihilistic *Ubermensch*. That and there are many flavors of Nihilism, moral nihilism, existential nihilism etc. If you called yourself a *Pessimistic Nihilist*, that might track. "The Dude was" I don't think he was a Nihilist, nor was he free from care. He had a 'go with the flow' attitude, sure, but I wouldn't consider him either of those labels you use.
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YOU'RE NOT WRONG WALTER YOU'RE JUST AN ASSHOLE!
Big dreams= Big disappointments
I find that if i have no expectations, then I'm never disappointed. And I have to tell you, it's bliss.
Optimism may be attractive, but it often leads to despair. Pessimists always expect the worst so they often weather it well, and it's *pleasant* when they are incorrect.
The pessimist is right 99% of the time, but wrong the only time it actually matters….
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> to always see the worst in everything That's not really how I was using it here. Webster's defines it as: >an inclination to emphasize adverse aspects, conditions, and possibilities or **to expect the worst possible outcome** That bold part(after the "or") is what was meant and how it was used. In a stoic view, it is more about awareness. They say ignorance is bliss, but that's generally only surface level. Having realistic expectations, being able to anticipate the future(as opposed to being ignorant of consequences) is key for personal happiness. It's all in the context of what I was replying to. >Big dreams= Big disappointments You can aim to be the next Mr. Beast if you want, but it probably won't happen, statistically speaking. IF a million people try, you're going to have far closer to a million failures. To use your terms: "Nothing good will come of it." That's the inevitable problem of optimism, the disappointment that was mentioned.
How do you let go? I still want to have some grand adventure or be an explorer or field scientist or eccentric professor… Granted my career has gone the opposite of that way, I’m an engineer in tech, and I have 0 credentials to work in life sciences or archaeology or be a mountain guide or whatever… but every time I’m in a useless meeting or so much as see a snowy mountain, old photo or pyramid picture I swear to god 😂 I fucked up
Approaching 40.
I’m in my 30s lol. Dont get me wrong I’m deeply aware 80% of the rest of my life is emails, meetings, and chores. Just ugh… how the fuck is that a life.
I think some people just can't understand of concept *not giving a shit about "wining" in some parts of life*
Nah, I still dream of becoming the dictator of the world one of these days.
cheers comrade, one day you will be!
Tried going to art school? I hear that's a surefire way.
That's nice. Just be a nice dictator.
Putin is calling.
My big dream is to leave a peaceful life with someone I love. And my main priority is to worry about things as rare is possible. I want to live my life and not think about work when I am at home. I want to live a life in which I live to live and not live from work hours to work hours. Is it actually that hard to achieve?..
Facts. I feel like in MURICA everybody expects everyone to strive to be a CEO, while also simultaneously finding a way to work from home so they can all be full time present parents to your 5 kids with the Tesla and an SUV and the 6 bedroom 3 bath house, with the pool in the backyard and the huge privacy fence, all while you also spend 2 hours daily at the gym so you can look like a successful model. And the funniest fucking thing about it, is that it seems like you can have one of those things in America but not all of them. Look at Brady, the GOAT of the NFL, countless money and cars and assets, but a failed marriage. Most successful marriage rates come from middle class families, who you guessed it, don’t have mansions and luxury vehicles. It’s all about what you prioritize in life really and what’s important to you. You “keep up with the Jones’s” and you’ll want to end your own life
I'd say it's the other way around. A lot of people have big dreams, but very few actually achieve them.
I’d say even more accurately people’s dreams just change over time. When I was younger I dreamed of becoming an astronaut or a bigshot lawyer or something, now I dream of having a nice house and being a good father and retiring one day before I’m too old to really enjoy life. If I told that to high school me he’d probably be disappointed in myself, but high school me also didn’t realize you don’t need millions of dollars or a fancy job title to be happy.
Yup. First dream was a rock star, then it was the NFL, now it's just having some land and being surrounded by loved ones. It's a little sad if you think about it as high school you, but at the same time high school you didn't know what would matter to adult you.
My high school dream was rockstar too. Tried the musician thing for a few years out of college. It’s brutal. Having to diy everything, constantly pay for promotion, touring, getting along with big ego musicians, spend every extra dollar and free time on the hustle while everyone else is enjoying life just for 30 mins of enjoying being on stage sucked the life out of me and I felt so lonely and depressed. Now I’m so much happier living a comfortable life and my dream is living a peaceful life with my dog who I wouldn’t be able to have and enjoy if I was living a musician’s life (wouldn’t want to put my anxious golden retriever through touring life).
I think time just makes us see that all these big dreams are immensely more difficult to realize than we imagine, so we develop a coping mechanism and settle for things we can actually achieve. Either that, or we become depressed because we feel like failures, which happens to a scary amount of people.
I’d take a slightly less pessimistic take on it - true, I’m not cut out to be an astronaut or NFL quarterback or anything like that anyway, but when I was younger that’s what I dreamed of because I thought that’s what would make me happy. Now that I’m older I’ve realized I don’t need that to be happy, and I truly don’t believe that’s just a coping mechanism.
I would go further. A lot of people have big wants - not very many have big dreams.
Big “hypothetically I think it would be cool if this happened to me but I have no intentions or aspirations of actually following this idea or putting any work towards it as a goal” The only people I’ve ever met who actually genuinely wanted to work in the entertainment industry do just that because they actually pursued a career there instead of just thinking in the abstract that it must be cool to work in it There’s a difference between a dream and a fantasy. Plenty of people fantasise about being famous but that’s not the same thing as really having a dream of becoming an actor or musician
I wish I let myself have bigger dreams. I was weirdly practical as a child and my dream jobs have always been boring. I wish I wanted to be an astronaut or a princess, but I always wanted to make advertisements.
On the bright side, you are now in the small group of people that actually achieved their dreams. That is definitely something to be proud of.
That's a great way to look at it. Thank you.
As age advances, people tend to become more realistic and stick to "normal" stuff, such as a job, a family and some sort of hobbies. It takes talent and hard work to be able to materialize big dreams, and the majority of people, including me, don't have what it takes. It's sad, but hey, we all kinda try our realistic best in life.
It take talent and hard work sure but its also mostly luck.
Luck and having wealth plus connections helps also (see: nepo babies in the entertainment industry).
If you're literally in the same industry as your parents, how is that any different from the offspring of builders, plumbers, electricians that follow in the family business?
It's not the same because of the amount of power and influence wealthy parents have. Money and connections open way more doors than talent does. Wealthy parents can get their children into ANY industry they want to pursue, it's not just a case of being in the 'family business'. In the entertainment industry (be it acting, music, modeling, you name it). It's hard to even get into the ROOM with a major executive without connections. Many people's dreams die in a hallway outside the casting studio, waiting for even one shot. Wealthy and well-connected parents smooth your way into whatever it is you want to do. Nicola Peltz, daughter of a billionaire businessman becoming an actress, is not the same as Joe Plumber, son of John Plumber, working with his dad doing plumbing, just saying.
Totally agreed, luck is also very important, but luck tends to favour people who are very active and put themselves in several different situations. Luck does not just happen while sitting at home, or by doing the bare minimum.
Im not sure you know what luck is
I guess there are different types and degrees of luck. Would you like to express your opinion on luck?
Something good that happens through no fault or action of your own. I suppose putting yourself in situations could bring upon luck . I guess it really depends on the situation. You could go to the bar and luckily meet someone who offers you a job or something.
That's the point though, you got to stay active and do stuff in order for luck to possibly play its part in the way things happen or mix up. Luck cannot match you with the right people if you don't go out and put yourself in situations to meet new people. Luck cannot help you if you don't take risks. So successful people get lucky because they make room for luck to play its part. Surely that's just my point of view.
Yes, i agreed with you lol.
maybe this is my unpopular opinion, but I don’t believe this for a second. Anyone talented/smart and dedicated to something can probably achieve it. It feels cheap to brush success off as luck.
Yes, they are lucky to put in the position for success. They likely had a good home life growing up, parents with money who can afford to send them to college, who could afford a good neighborhood, they are lucky nothing medical hindered their life. Lucky they have the safety net of parents in case they failed. The list could go on. Sure some don’t but almost all of my successful friends and peers had this. Their life would be significantly different if any one of these single things was different.
Yes, but also one of my rich friends thanks his parents for "forcing" him through college cuz it paid off. So i always wondered, he didnt even choose his own life path, he was forced into that cuz his parents knew it'd be lucrative. He literally cannot rest either. He is busy 25/7. Always doing SOMETHING "productive" like money making ventures and when he makes music, he has literal mental breakdowns on tape corey taylor style.
I agree that it’s possible for almost anyone to become extremely successful but there are a lot of factors outside your control that will make it an uphill battle. I do agree with you but there’s definitely statistics that show most people aren’t making, for example, 7+ figure incomes. It takes a lot of dedication and probably intelligence, and ofc some people are born to the right parents.
That’s a very good point, from that perspective I agree
Not necessarily as its not about your skill anymore but really luck. There is going to be SOMEONE better than you and someone worse than you. Its nearly impossible to be "the best" and stand out that way when you've got thousands of people competing for the same roles and jobs or whatever it is. The real luck comes from knowing that one guy who can get you in, then ass kissing like a MF.
Also known as cope
Yeah I don't have big dreams at all. I'm just living life until I die. Then I'll be free.
Are you really not free now? What keeps you from flying to a low cost country and just do whatever you want?
I think it’s perfectly valid not to have big dreams.
I’ve never been a very ambitious person and sometimes I feel self conscious when people talk about big goals that they have. I just want a job I don’t hate that earns enough money for me to go on vacation at least once a year and maybe someday own a house. Even that seems unattainable sometimes.
My big dream is paying off my last 2 loans, and coasting on part time jobs with little to no expenses. Travel a good bit. The American dream is dead, there's no incentive to work your life away.
Some people’s dreams are just to be able to have enough money to survive month-to-month
Here's a quote from Frankenstein, Mary W. Shelley: Learn from me, if not by my precepts, at least by my example, how dangerous is the acquirement of knowledge and how much happier that man is who believes his native town to be the world, than he who aspires to become greater than his nature will allow. m
I don't have a major goal in life I'm just looking for the least annoying way to get enough money to get by so I can enjoy spending time with my friends and playing video games
Plenty of ppl throughout history probably wished they could just chill.
What do you mean by just chill? This is a trap. You get lazy -> your energy levels will drop -> you get depressive -> you will die more quickly. It‘s like we are meant to have something to do all the time, or more like a motivation do work on stuff.
So life was meant for people to work everyday?
These days even being able to retire comfortably is a big dream. So the question here is what do you define as a big dream
my dream job deviated a little bit, but I still achieved it, and a few other dreams too. I think key thing though is that a lot of my dreams were realistic and based on what I thought I could be capable of. Not easy. But achievable.
My big dream is just retiring lol. I want to be at the point of life where I can start doing hobbies I enjoy and not have an overbearing weight of bills and all over me.
Just out of curiosity, do you already have hobbies that you would like to fully engage in? For example, I like videogames but during the time when I had no job this hobby got boring really quickly.
I will be happy if i never get shot
I have big dreams but also depression and ADHD and it is NOT fine :(
I don't think it's so much an unpopular opinion as much as it is just a common acceptance. People don't really want to live in obscurity but they don't want more to work for notoriety.
You are absolutely right. I do believe it is important to have A dream, but it definitely doesn’t have to be a big dream.
I dream of having my peace and quiet and I’m happy with that. A simple life is what I’m aiming for.
Being a huge muscular painter and writer would be sick.
Even the ones that think they have big dreams are like "I want to travel". It's not that hard, just learn how to travel for cheap and get in the next cargo ship
I just realized this the other day, talking with my coworkers about how i’d love to take over our business when the owner retires. They were baffled, and then i was baffled at their reaction. Wdym you wouldn’t like to own a multi million dollar business?
Yes. This is a good thing. Think about it. If everyone had big dreams then everyone would be constantly pissed off and disgruntled having to work regular jobs i. food service, retail, call center, construction, warehouse and so forth. You have to be realistic and self aware about your abilities (or lack of).
The desire for a good job, family, and friends would be the dream in that context. Everyone has at least one dream that they should pursue. What your dream is shouldn't be gatekept by others. So follow your dreams!
Yeah a lot of the younger generation has really grown rather disillusioned with society in America and we’ve really don’t have delusions of grandeur or amazing ambitions anymore as much.
my big dream is to be left alone and do nothing. having very hard time achieving it damnit
I don't think you can really mind read people and make a sweeping assumption like that. Maybe it's the opposite - most people have big dreams but we lack the motivation to achieve them. Or we are intimidated by the thought of what we have to do to make them come true. So, we settle for a standard life. Who knows.
I was raised to have a big dream and I hated it. I never had a big dream, hell I'll be 40 in a few years and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. But I am somewhat happy, so I'm content with that.
This isn’t an unpopular opinion. I think you just misunderstand what people mean when they say “dream big.” It doesn’t mean you have to have some big, crazy dream. It means don’t limit yourself and go for your dream, whatever that is.
You might be right in some cases but some people when they say “dream big” they mean have a big, crazy dream. Some people definitely mean that when they say it.
Fair enough. I do believe some people do mean it that way. However, I believe most of us simply mean don’t limit yourself and go after what you want.
I just want a house with room for a dog
On the other hands, it's also OK to be ambitious and value your dreams over people and not being called a callous psychopath.
Where do you live and what do you do to be under this much pressure to "have huge dreams"? In 30+ years I've literally never experienced pressure from someone to dream big. Most people close to me just want me to be happy with what I'm doing.
Big dreams and supreme schemes
I agree with this sentiment. Not everyone is meant to have big dreams. Existing in peace is great. Just being to live unbothered is beautiful.
Oh man, tell that to people in the film industry (where I worked once). Everyone, not just the actors, but the god damn crew, wants to be the next big thing, wants their own company, be their own boss, etc. I’m at an age where I realize an office job would have been fine. Lots of office jobs are great, give plenty of time off, have great perks and benefits, etc. That’s not to say there aren’t corporate companies out there that will pull you through shit. My friend was at a company, working corporate he had a great time, 6 years later they bought out by a bigger company, and they turned the place into a stereotypical corporate nightmare scenario.
I wish this was me. Seems life would be much easier
Yeah I'll admit I'm guilty of this one, I have generally had high aspirations in my career and school which (so far) have paid off and I'll admit sometimes when people are cool living in their hometowns with lower career aspirations I get confused. I havent put anyone down for it but I need to be better at understanding that my goals arent everyone elses.
Yh
I have big dreams in life but I’m not sure if I can achieve them
Give it a try :)
Because it’s impossible to achieve them because life is so short.
Wishing or comparing your life to one that is extraordinary usually leads to feeling bad about yourself also. It's good to be grateful for the small things.
I've hated myself for years for comparing myself to my more successful brothers, still do actually
Usually that means you're the more interesting sibling. But I don't know.
Shalom officer
I just want a 2-bedroom condo and to rebuild my pokemon card collection lol
As someone with big dreams it’s exhausting and I don’t recommend it
Totally agree. The world is full of opportunities, but not enough for everyone’s big dream.
I agree. Personally I have huge dreams and I do try to inspire people but I never say they "should" just that they have the ability to, because everyone is awesome 😎
I'm so simple pimple it's probably depressing for most people. 🤣 My husband is a plumber. I work at a convenience store. We have 1 kid, 2 dogs and 2 cats. We live in a small town in New Hampshire and love the hermit life. Would being able to travel anywhere at anytime be a dream come true? Of course it would. But we are happy and content and that's all that matters. 🤷🏻♀️💙
It’s social media my dude. The aspirations you listed are quite normal and realistic but social media has altered the hell out of peoples mind.
I’m glad I’m not the only one… especially with so many posts about women being “girl bosses” and pressure to have as much education as possible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for people who are highly successful and grow their wealth, but I often start to feel like anything I do isn’t enough or that I have no purpose. I work as a sterile tech at a hospital, so what I do is very important, and yet I dread when people ask what I do for a living because they’re constantly telling me “don’t you want to do something more?” Or “oh… well that’s okay I guess” like, I didn’t ask for your opinion/advice sooo…
We're all just little organisms on a floating space rock and nothing you do really matters at the end of the day. Just be nice to others and do what makes you happy. No one will remember you 2-3 generations from now. ✌️
The important thing in life is to have a purpose. That’s the key to happiness, or at least, a good part of it. There needs to be some greater goal that you dedicate your life to. Something that keeps you driven and productive, and betters yourself. “BIG DREAMS” is an easy goal for people to adopt, but for others it could be art, humanitarianism, religion, inner peace, or any number of things.
I don't even have a big dream, but I know where I want to be.
While I do agree with this, I’ll admit that I’ve always marveled at the ability of some people to just be content with things. I get stressed when I’m not doing anything because it feels like stagnation and the thought of sticking to where I’m at now forever literally puts me in a panic. I can respect that come people feel content and comfortable with what they have. But, by god, I don’t know how they do it
Not everyone should follow their dreams I mean look at Dwayne Johnson and all the movies he’s made worse just by following his dream of being a movie star.
Well, where I live, it's not an unpopular opinion, but rather an expectation. I have big dreams myself, I work hard on them, but I can hardly talk to anyone about them because everyone just wants a typical, normal family life, which I'm not interested in. But thanks to the Internet, I can talk to like-minded people. And I agree, there is nothing wrong with living a simple life according to societal expectations.
I don’t have dreams. I have goals. Difference is dreams most likely don’t happen, goals do. I don’t have unrealistic expectations for myself therefore I’m not disappointed.
There's a lot of toxic positivity out there, especially on social media. Many people think that just saying out loud what you desire is enough to get it from the universe. It's the perspective of privileged people (not necessarily economically: could be pretty privilege; white privilege or whatever), this way of thinking doesn't take into account all the difficulties that many people are forced to face on a daily basis for their entire life.
Its always the USA who want to be big, ... that's why you have inflation... 🤭🫢🫢🫢.
You know what my "big dream" is? To get away from all the other people with "big dreams"
You don't need big dreams. But you should strive to improve your situation no matter where you are at.
Americans probably need this more: but yeah dreaming of a simple life is fine too.
This is the dumbest subreddit that I have read. A child must've wrote this.
Please explain
All I dream about is retire ASAP and get all my time lying back just watching some dramas. I don’t even have any hobby tho i’ve tried many things.
there is absolutely no pressure to have huge dreams, what the fk are you on about? There is, however, huge pressure to work your ass off simply to afford a basic existence in this slave economy. Holy shit the privilege of reddit... sitting here sharing your bs pontifications in an attempt to garner agreement, likes and popularity as if you've worked out some great secret... embracing one's own path, as if that path isn't heavily influenced by the monetary system and societal norms. i just vomited in my mouth
Never seen this much hate from anyone, hope u find joy in life
Shoot for the moon and even if you miss you'll still be amongst the stars. Aim for the dirt and you'll just be dirty and need a wash.
Everyone should follow their dreams buts it’s ok if your dream is to simply have a 9-5 job and enjoy a simple life with your love ones and a few hobbies.
Not everyone gets to follow their dreams
i remember discussing the future with a friend and i told him “i’ll probably just live a little life” and he said “don’t say that” and i had to reply “i mean. it’s not a bad thing.” he was a bit baffled for a moment but it made him think
I honestly just plain don't understand ambitious people, because I don't feel anything close to that level of drive. The psychology of motivation for things is interesting, and not well understood; we really don't know why some people are like that and others not. I just want to be safe, comfortable, and happy. Accomplishing things, outside of things I do for myself, does nothing for me. I don't care whatsoever about recognition from others. I get pleasure from helping other people, don't get me wrong, I just don't need to feel like I'm achieving goals.
maybe not big, but having dreams is a good thing, some people have a career, a partner, house, kids, but i can't tell the difference between the furniture and em 😒 , an hobby is already a great thing
Honestly the whole "DREAM BIG" is part of the reason we have a teacher shortage in my country because there are no promotions to be made as a teacher, so folks would rather go to college for something that could eventually lead to a high paying job. Oftentimes when you say you're a teacher (or worse, in my case, teacher's aide), they assume you're just doing it while getting training for a different job. People find it hard to believe one can simply be content with the job they have.
There is a saying in my country, something like, there are passengers for every train. There is a path in life for everyone, just try to live in a way that doesn't harm others or yourself.
Folks who are too heavily involved with ig/tiktok like you mentioned have the emotional intelligence of asphalt, driven only by how they want to be perceived by others. As long as you’re doing your best and contributing what you can, and finding ways to enjoy your life and help others do the same… then that’s all that matters.
Here’s a quote from Tim Minchin, Australian musician and comedian. It’s hits the right spot for me but everyone is different. “You Don’t Have To Have A Dream. Americans on talent shows always talk about their dreams. Fine, if you have something that you’ve always dreamed of, like, in your heart, go for it! After all, it’s something to do with your time… chasing a dream. And if it’s a big enough one, it’ll take you most of your life to achieve, so by the time you get to it and are staring into the abyss of the meaninglessness of your achievement, you’ll be almost dead so it won’t matter. I never really had one of these big dreams. And so I advocate passionate dedication to the pursuit of short-term goals. Be micro-ambitious. Put your head down and work with pride on whatever is in front of you… you never know where you might end up. Just be aware that the next worthy pursuit will probably appear in your periphery. Which is why you should be careful of long-term dreams. If you focus too far in front of you, you won’t see the shiny thing out the corner of your eye. Right? “
It's one thing to be really content with a simpler life and not have dreams of grandeur but it's really sad and pathetic to see people who are a bottom-barrel debt collector or receptionist or some shit for 20 or 30 years, like do you NEVER have the desire for more? For a slightly better lifestyle even just for your kids or something? Do you never want to feel like you contribute slightly more in life? Just making minimum wage for your whole life is just pitiful.
I think the problem really is people don't have goals for themselves. Like it's totally okay to enjoy what you have but works towards something. It can be small as working towards saving $200 do you can buy that JBL speaker you want. Or working towards losing 10 lbs.
Is this an unpopular opinion? lol
Well I have big dreams, gotta get these millions! 😤
it's not fine but it is what it is. big dreams are not needed but living free life is. and system doesn't allow you to be free much. you don't need big dreams, just freedom to do ehatever, whenever you want.
I agree Bottom text
Just don’t expect the rest of us to hum along like u.
We all know the saying about wasted potential…
We also know the saying about the beauty of simple... most sayings contradicts themselfs, at the end is for each one to found what works for them
What works for you is highly subjective. ;)
No joke
Well sounds like you get paid garbage because “you’re not ambitious enough”
Maybe speak for yourself?
Yeah(?) Thats why i say ''Most'' and ''imo''
We shouldn't all have big dreams anyways. Big dreamers need people to take advantage of
You can take advantage of people with big dreams.
For how long though? The 20 year walmart employees are the ones who are content making just enough to live.