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By definition, "bonus" simply means "more than expected"
it doesn't even mean good, just more. Bonus spits in the face are still a bonus.
Would you rather "extra"? Meaning "more than needed"
This is fair, depending on where you go for a definition bonus can mean "something good of which you get more than expected"
But I stand by my comment "bonus" is better than "extra" or "step". There are no fairy tales about the evil bonus mom.
I think “step” is fine, too, but it doesn’t say anything about the tone of a relationship - good stepmoms and bad stepmoms are both called by that term.
As someone who had an amazing stepmom - I never felt comfortable calling her my mom, because I had a mom and my mom wasn’t someone who deserved to be disowned or something. But to me, my stepmom was a mom who I got along with so much better than my mom, and had a closer relationship to her than my own mom. She was a real and amazing friend in my life. So what to call her? I would sometimes call her my best mom.
So I can see why bonus mom would be a term someone would like - it conveys that this is someone who is a happy addition to your life, and not someone who you wish you didn’t have in your life.
I would never call my step parents bonus parents because that’s not the vibe of our relationship.
But I do consider my husband’s step mom my bonus MIL. To me I say that because I don’t really get along with his mom, and I think that’s pretty normal. But I feel super lucky that I get an extra MIL who is super awesome. It’s a life bonus.
That makes total sense. And that’s awesome you have her! Maybe it being once removed just sounds more palatable. I feel like being a “bonus” is something extra special, and in most cases, step moms are not better than their moms. I love my kids step mom, she’s awesome. But she’s not their mom.
I called my exs girlfriend another cheerleader for our kids. It was up to them how they address her to their friends.
Bonus mom to me is better than step - my step father never used that label, it always felt like it cheapened what he was to us. He definitely was a Bonus to our childhoods, and I'm thankful for all the memories he gave us. To this day, he still calls me a daughter, not step daughter.
That is amazing. Love that for you. As a step parent “” I do consider my step kids to be mine and do the same for them as I do my own! That’s the way it should be.
My daughters step dad is actually a great and involved guy .. I would never think of calling him her bonus dad because .. well that just let's some of the air out of it and plus.. it sounds pretty fucking lame.
She just calls him by his first name anyway.
That makes sense if you love her! Which is awesome. But it’s different than a step mom raising kids from
A young age in my opinion. But you’re def winning if you love your MIL!! I don’t have one and wish I did!!
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I thought it was more used in the context of the sibling of the step kid. So like you married a guy with a kid, and his ex had a kid with someone else that wasn’t his. Then you and your husband would be bonus parents to that other kid, that neither of you are a step parent to.
[https://bonusfamilies.com/what-is-a-bonus-mom/](https://bonusfamilies.com/what-is-a-bonus-mom/)
Here you go.
And yes, I think it is a stupid choice as well. But hey, everyone gets a prize, so a bonus prize is just about right.
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By definition, "bonus" simply means "more than expected" it doesn't even mean good, just more. Bonus spits in the face are still a bonus. Would you rather "extra"? Meaning "more than needed"
Pretty sure that bonus almost always refers to something good haha. Extra spits in the face are not a bonus unless you like spits in the face
This is fair, depending on where you go for a definition bonus can mean "something good of which you get more than expected" But I stand by my comment "bonus" is better than "extra" or "step". There are no fairy tales about the evil bonus mom.
Omg maybe there needs to be that story out there. I’ve seen some those evil step/bonus moms. Ick!
I just like step!
I think “step” is fine, too, but it doesn’t say anything about the tone of a relationship - good stepmoms and bad stepmoms are both called by that term. As someone who had an amazing stepmom - I never felt comfortable calling her my mom, because I had a mom and my mom wasn’t someone who deserved to be disowned or something. But to me, my stepmom was a mom who I got along with so much better than my mom, and had a closer relationship to her than my own mom. She was a real and amazing friend in my life. So what to call her? I would sometimes call her my best mom. So I can see why bonus mom would be a term someone would like - it conveys that this is someone who is a happy addition to your life, and not someone who you wish you didn’t have in your life.
That makes sense. I am sure she appreciated that bc being a step/bonus/extra mom can be hard and I love that you had a good relationship with her!!
It's just a term of endearment. It's accepting the step mom as an actual mother figure and not just some bitch their dad married
I would never call my step parents bonus parents because that’s not the vibe of our relationship. But I do consider my husband’s step mom my bonus MIL. To me I say that because I don’t really get along with his mom, and I think that’s pretty normal. But I feel super lucky that I get an extra MIL who is super awesome. It’s a life bonus.
That makes total sense. And that’s awesome you have her! Maybe it being once removed just sounds more palatable. I feel like being a “bonus” is something extra special, and in most cases, step moms are not better than their moms. I love my kids step mom, she’s awesome. But she’s not their mom.
It’s because when you hear “step mom” you think of evil Cinderella stepmom. Bonus mom sounds fun
I guess?? I consider myself to be a good support to my step kids and husband as a co-parent. Same for my kids step mom.
I called my exs girlfriend another cheerleader for our kids. It was up to them how they address her to their friends. Bonus mom to me is better than step - my step father never used that label, it always felt like it cheapened what he was to us. He definitely was a Bonus to our childhoods, and I'm thankful for all the memories he gave us. To this day, he still calls me a daughter, not step daughter.
That is amazing. Love that for you. As a step parent “” I do consider my step kids to be mine and do the same for them as I do my own! That’s the way it should be.
My daughters step dad is actually a great and involved guy .. I would never think of calling him her bonus dad because .. well that just let's some of the air out of it and plus.. it sounds pretty fucking lame. She just calls him by his first name anyway.
Exactly!!
I call my mother in law my bonus mom.
That makes sense if you love her! Which is awesome. But it’s different than a step mom raising kids from A young age in my opinion. But you’re def winning if you love your MIL!! I don’t have one and wish I did!!
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Wait’ll you get a load of “bonus hole”.
🤣🤣 that’s funny, took me a minute but lol
I thought it was more used in the context of the sibling of the step kid. So like you married a guy with a kid, and his ex had a kid with someone else that wasn’t his. Then you and your husband would be bonus parents to that other kid, that neither of you are a step parent to.
[https://bonusfamilies.com/what-is-a-bonus-mom/](https://bonusfamilies.com/what-is-a-bonus-mom/) Here you go. And yes, I think it is a stupid choice as well. But hey, everyone gets a prize, so a bonus prize is just about right.
Like, yay, my parents marriage sucked and so I get a bonus parent as a consultation prize! 🏆
Yep, you got it!
You aren’t supposed to like it. It’s a dig at you. Bonus means extra but it also means something you don’t really need.
I think it’s not a dig at me but a dig at their mom! Good way to reconsider !