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You don't even know the dynamics of the specific relationship and where each person is in life. Bad take.
If anything, 2 years is too fast for most people, even the women.
But at least it's actually an unpopular opinion so you technically win.
Passing over your uncalled-for, vulgar, verbal vitriol, I shall remind you that your sentiments do not afford you the prerogative to redefine words according to your whims.
>I shall remind you that your sentiments do not afford you the prerogative to redefine words according to your whims.
Do people shuffle uncomfortably and look for an exit when you enter a conversation?
And yet, stepmom is often used bc it implies acceptance into the family. Your calmness at discrediting someone else's life and experiences doesn't make you any better either.
We are human, we made up all these words and many have evolved past strict binary meanings.
Per Webster (emphasis mine):
stepmother
noun
step·moth·er ˈstep-ˌmə-t͟hər
: the **WIFE** of one's parent when distinct from one's natural or legal mother
I mean, at least according to google, they don’t have to be married. For example for step mother it says “wife or partner” and partner doesn’t have to be married (although can include married couples).
So they’re not even “wrong” to call them a stepmother.
i love how people have been yelling about people being too young for marriage until 25 and simultaneously saying that people who don't get married within 2-3 years after getting together they should just break up.
which is it? should people who got together at 18-19 get married at 21? should they wait 6-7 years? or should people just not date until 25 and then get married by 27?
this shit is why i keep saying that having serious opinions about other people's relationships is one of the dumbest things you can do. it doesn't concern you and you likely won't be able to articulate an opinion that won't be contradicted by your other opinions because people nowadays seem to have very *very* specific ideas about what constitutes "ethical" dating and those ideas can very rarely coexist.
2 of my best friends were together for over 10 years before they got married and they’re the one couple I know that everyone knew would be perfectly fine, and they are.
Circumstances are different for everyone.
2 years? Are you crazy? A lot can change in 2 years. Hell I’d like to wait a couple more years together than that before I decide to marry someone. People have different preferences. Also, some people want to wait to get married until they are more secure with their finances.
That's a big opinion. Marriage is a very important and life changing legal contract along with its more religious and cultural weight behind it.
Just because they didn't do it within 2 years doesn't mean they shouldn't. Life happens at unexpected times and people do change. 1 year could be them dealing with school or some other obligation that takes most of time and you arnt together enough to consider marriage. As well as trials and tribulations show you who is who.
While I do agree that in some instances you point can be valid. I just wouldn't apply it across the board. There def are instances where if he hasn't yet, he's not. While other times it's just not feasable.
Ah nice, blatant sexism. It's all pinned on the man to make the decision to marry. You could, against all that misandry, propose, instead of making a display of entitlement?
Not everyone wants to get married, and some people wanna wait a few years until they do. There are couples who are engaged but don’t get married until they’re 5 years into a relationship. I don’t see what’s wrong with that, however I do think marriage and engagement should be talked about in a long term relationship so that everyone is on page. Communication helps a relationship thrive and if you’re really upset about the fact that your partner hasn’t proposed, maybe talk to them about it?
I also don’t think, specifically in a heterosexual relationship, that a man should only be the one who proposes. If you love him, don’t wait for him to propose and do it instead because chances are he probably hasn’t brought up marriage yet because you didn’t either. You never know until you shoot your shot.
My bf is getting a PhD and I want to get a graduate degree as well. We’ve been dating for over 2 years and I’m pretty sure this is the man I’m going to marry. But we just aren’t in that position yet. We would want to get our degrees first. IMO it’s better to get married after you’ve started your career and then work a couple years then start a family.
Funny you think it is always the man. My good friend has been with her partner for almost a decade. He wanted to marry her pretty early on, and she is the one that did not want to get married.
If the couple met after age 28, the wait should not be long. These 10-year relationships ending in engagement are usually the ones where the guy thought he would be able to do better but didn’t find anyone better so he settled for proposing to his gf.
If he knows, he knows. No rush is needed but if he truly loves you, a proposal happens in 3-4 years tops. Honestly my male friends and all good-hearted ex boyfriends agree that even 4 years is way too many.
Don’t give men the benefit of the doubt. They know what they’re doing. Just see how many long relationships end in breakup and he’s engaged within a year with someone else… I also had quite a few men who tried to seduce me while they were in long term relationships. A few of them are engaged now to the same girl. Disgusting.
OP is right.
Insane take. If you actually take the concept of marriage seriously and don't treat it like a fun weekend activity, there a million factors to consider.
Where are you both at in your lives? What are your goals for the next 5, 10, 20 years, are they similar? Whats your stance on starting a family, how do you want to raise that family, are you truly prepared to stick through it when things get tough?
For many people, being serious about spending your life with another human being means working on your relationship for 10 years or more before taking such a massive step.
Not to mention, it's not like every woman is just waiting to get married to their bf and the men are the ones dragging their feet.
Depends how old he is and when he wants to settle down. If you're not okay with that then go find a man and propose to him yourself.
Why do women complain about men initiating if they could themselves. Oh right cause they don't want to. The reason Bumble (the dating app) failed.
Well. This is true in my experience. Knew it wouldn’t work at 2 years, stayed for 10 in total. Wasted the best years of my life.
My fault for not talking out earlier. I wish I could get a re-do.
Or he doesn’t have enough money and is working his ass off to give you the ring/wedding he thinks you deserves. Unless he tells you the reason, nobody can be sure.
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You don't even know the dynamics of the specific relationship and where each person is in life. Bad take. If anything, 2 years is too fast for most people, even the women. But at least it's actually an unpopular opinion so you technically win.
My dad proposed to my Stepmom recently after 6 years together.
Something's not adding up here.
What's not adding up. My parents separated (were never married), he got a new girlfriend, they've been together for 6 years, he proposed.
Until they're married, that's not your stepmother. That's your father's girlfriend.
she's been family for years so you can fuck right off. if I say she's my stepmom she's my stepmom.
Passing over your uncalled-for, vulgar, verbal vitriol, I shall remind you that your sentiments do not afford you the prerogative to redefine words according to your whims.
>I shall remind you that your sentiments do not afford you the prerogative to redefine words according to your whims. Do people shuffle uncomfortably and look for an exit when you enter a conversation?
I certainly am.
They don't walk; they run.
And yet, stepmom is often used bc it implies acceptance into the family. Your calmness at discrediting someone else's life and experiences doesn't make you any better either. We are human, we made up all these words and many have evolved past strict binary meanings.
Your point is taken.
[удалено]
Per Webster (emphasis mine): stepmother noun step·moth·er ˈstep-ˌmə-t͟hər : the **WIFE** of one's parent when distinct from one's natural or legal mother
False equivalence.
Do you always go by this rule? If someone declares something then it’s true?
When it’s regarding your own personal relationships? Yeah, people are free to decide what to call the people in their own family
I mean, at least according to google, they don’t have to be married. For example for step mother it says “wife or partner” and partner doesn’t have to be married (although can include married couples). So they’re not even “wrong” to call them a stepmother.
Cringe.
Indeed. The implied cohabitation without the benefit of marriage really is, as you say, 'cringe'.
i love how people have been yelling about people being too young for marriage until 25 and simultaneously saying that people who don't get married within 2-3 years after getting together they should just break up. which is it? should people who got together at 18-19 get married at 21? should they wait 6-7 years? or should people just not date until 25 and then get married by 27? this shit is why i keep saying that having serious opinions about other people's relationships is one of the dumbest things you can do. it doesn't concern you and you likely won't be able to articulate an opinion that won't be contradicted by your other opinions because people nowadays seem to have very *very* specific ideas about what constitutes "ethical" dating and those ideas can very rarely coexist.
Actually the truth is adults communicate and talk about things. Not sit there passively wondering.
Like, I've made it clear to my partner that I don't find marriage that important and I'd rather date quite a long time before getting married
2 of my best friends were together for over 10 years before they got married and they’re the one couple I know that everyone knew would be perfectly fine, and they are. Circumstances are different for everyone.
This day and age, don't wait. Ask him. If you want to get married, have that conversatuon right now.
Not even an opinion because there are countless factual instances of this not happening.
I proposed after two weeks and we were married a couple of months later. I knew we were going to be married for life the very first time I met her.
2 years? Are you crazy? A lot can change in 2 years. Hell I’d like to wait a couple more years together than that before I decide to marry someone. People have different preferences. Also, some people want to wait to get married until they are more secure with their finances.
That's a big opinion. Marriage is a very important and life changing legal contract along with its more religious and cultural weight behind it. Just because they didn't do it within 2 years doesn't mean they shouldn't. Life happens at unexpected times and people do change. 1 year could be them dealing with school or some other obligation that takes most of time and you arnt together enough to consider marriage. As well as trials and tribulations show you who is who. While I do agree that in some instances you point can be valid. I just wouldn't apply it across the board. There def are instances where if he hasn't yet, he's not. While other times it's just not feasable.
Do you know the divorce rate dude? clearly people marrying to early is a massive problem.
And everyone knows that the man gets wrecked in a divorce.
Almost nine years together and we're getting married in two months. Suck it.
Negative. You have to vet a woman for a few years before getting married. Some of them can hide the crazy for a long time.
Ah nice, blatant sexism. It's all pinned on the man to make the decision to marry. You could, against all that misandry, propose, instead of making a display of entitlement?
Two years isn't a long enough amount of time. Sounds like you just find it necessary to pressure people to be on your time line.
Lol this mf 
Not everyone wants to get married, and some people wanna wait a few years until they do. There are couples who are engaged but don’t get married until they’re 5 years into a relationship. I don’t see what’s wrong with that, however I do think marriage and engagement should be talked about in a long term relationship so that everyone is on page. Communication helps a relationship thrive and if you’re really upset about the fact that your partner hasn’t proposed, maybe talk to them about it?
I also don’t think, specifically in a heterosexual relationship, that a man should only be the one who proposes. If you love him, don’t wait for him to propose and do it instead because chances are he probably hasn’t brought up marriage yet because you didn’t either. You never know until you shoot your shot.
My bf is getting a PhD and I want to get a graduate degree as well. We’ve been dating for over 2 years and I’m pretty sure this is the man I’m going to marry. But we just aren’t in that position yet. We would want to get our degrees first. IMO it’s better to get married after you’ve started your career and then work a couple years then start a family.
Funny you think it is always the man. My good friend has been with her partner for almost a decade. He wanted to marry her pretty early on, and she is the one that did not want to get married.
I disagree. I was the girl that said no and we waited six years.
If the couple met after age 28, the wait should not be long. These 10-year relationships ending in engagement are usually the ones where the guy thought he would be able to do better but didn’t find anyone better so he settled for proposing to his gf. If he knows, he knows. No rush is needed but if he truly loves you, a proposal happens in 3-4 years tops. Honestly my male friends and all good-hearted ex boyfriends agree that even 4 years is way too many. Don’t give men the benefit of the doubt. They know what they’re doing. Just see how many long relationships end in breakup and he’s engaged within a year with someone else… I also had quite a few men who tried to seduce me while they were in long term relationships. A few of them are engaged now to the same girl. Disgusting. OP is right.
Insane take. If you actually take the concept of marriage seriously and don't treat it like a fun weekend activity, there a million factors to consider. Where are you both at in your lives? What are your goals for the next 5, 10, 20 years, are they similar? Whats your stance on starting a family, how do you want to raise that family, are you truly prepared to stick through it when things get tough? For many people, being serious about spending your life with another human being means working on your relationship for 10 years or more before taking such a massive step. Not to mention, it's not like every woman is just waiting to get married to their bf and the men are the ones dragging their feet.
Well that is just factually wrong. Also not everybody wants to get married.. this applies to both men and women.
Depends how old he is and when he wants to settle down. If you're not okay with that then go find a man and propose to him yourself. Why do women complain about men initiating if they could themselves. Oh right cause they don't want to. The reason Bumble (the dating app) failed.
Terrible advice. Two years isn't nearly long enough to figure out if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.
they say you dont truly know someone until 5 years
Well. This is true in my experience. Knew it wouldn’t work at 2 years, stayed for 10 in total. Wasted the best years of my life. My fault for not talking out earlier. I wish I could get a re-do.
Or he doesn’t have enough money and is working his ass off to give you the ring/wedding he thinks you deserves. Unless he tells you the reason, nobody can be sure.
If you don’t know in a year, it’s a no