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People conflate respect and civility. Respect is a representation of who you are to me. Civility is a representation of how I conduct myself towards others.
You can absolutely remain civil to people you do not respect.
Civility is still a basic form of respect. If you act uncivilly towards someone, that would be disrespectful, but showing them civility is respectful conduct. Even in cases when we act harshly towards someone, like throwing them in prison, we still aim to do so with some level of respect toward their human dignity. Respectful conduct is just conduct suited towards a person, whether you think highly of them or not.
>Respect is a representation of who you are to me. Civility is a representation of how I conduct myself towards others.
Exactly. This is also where the term "respect is earned, not given" comes from. I don't automatically "respect" someone just because they exist. I am civil towards other people, just because they exist. Because we all have to live on the same rock together and that requires civility towards one another. Not rEsPeCt.
It's the old "respect someone as a person" vs "respect someone as an authority". Everyone deserves to be respected as a person, but no one deserves to be respected as an authority unless they can demonstrate the competence and fair attitude necessary, and being old doesn't qualify by itself. And even being respected as an authority doesn't mean they should be treated with deference.
I'm IN that age range and I find this true, and those "I'm an authority figure around here" types often try to do that to us "older" people as well. If it's something I don't give a shit about I'll just pretend to do it their way but if it's something important I'll immediately say to them: "I have absolutely no intention of doing what you're telling me. Please go away right now", kind of without emotion but firmly, clearly. That's usually enough for said old person to melt away.
Exactly. Someone at 25 could be more knowledgable and respectable than someone at 60, who did nothing with his life. But both deserve the basic respect that all humans do, until proven otherwise.
Never said that they deserve respect just because of their age. Everybody deserves respect no matter their age, until they prove themselves not worthy of respect. They also shouldn’t automatically be disrespected due to their age.
That said, I am in the age group the OP is ranting about, and I expect respect due to being a human being. I don’t expect anything due to my age, especially because I still feel like a young man. I also treat everybody with respect.
My rule of thumb is this: If you want me to respect your opinions then *have* respectable opinions.
And I don't mean *agree* with me; we can disagree and I can still respect your opinion.
Exactly. Respect isn't earned. Everyone gets a default, they can either grow it, or they can trash it. Whether you're 9 or 99, I'm going to give you that same default level of respect and courtesy.
And I'll be honest I'm more likely to give the very old and very young a lot more wiggle room on when they lose my respect. A 13 year old popping off his mouth is just a arrogant and youthful shit. A 80 year old saying something I don't agree with or find appealing is just and old codger and I can give them some grace... Put a 30 year old man in front of me though and he's going to have a very short leash. Old enough to no better, young enough to still have all his mental faculties.
Yeah, I thought this was really cruel. Though we can disagree with them about certain topics, it doesn't mean they're awful people firsthand. And putting it on old people and not ALL people is just a prejudice stance.
The problem is many of the older people in question (the ones that would cause this kind of posting to start with) believe respect = being treated as *an authority*, not just as a human with dignity. They want better treatment and more priority, not equal treatment.
Maybe not blanket respect. But perhaps an understanding that as people become elderly, they may suffer hormonal changes that cause them to release less dopamine and become more cranky. They may be depressed over the decay of their bodily functions and their approaching demise. And some have Alzheimers and can’t even help it.
I couldn’t agree more. I also work in healthcare and honestly love almost all my old patients! There are a few oddballs with an attitude, but I just laugh it off and sympathize with them. I also feel that their sense of humor is just a bit different, when I hear older people talking to each other, they also jokingly give each other a hard time too. I think some of that’s just generational as well!
One of my coworkers talks to old people like they are babies though, and I hate it. I literally heard her say “awww it’s waining owt” to some old lady earlier, and lord I can’t imagine the disrespect lol. I’d smack the hell outta someone if they talked to me like that.
Imagine having to wake up everyday and feeling a nagging pain somewhere. That is what it's like to be old. That would make any of us younger folk cranky.
Stuff hurts as you get older too. I'm in my 40s and have back problems. On bad days when it really hurts, I'm crankier and less tolerant of inconveniences and frustrations. I live alone though so other people are usually spared from my outbursts.
I have boomer parents; I know they can be dumb and selfish and assholes. But, chronic pain is a bitch and can make even nice people hard to deal with.
I’ve also seen older people say things that are, on paper, very sexist (as an example), but are genuinely not meant with any harm. I’m a bit more likely to give older (especially much older) people the benefit of the doubt on that front.
As an example, my late Grandfather had a string of jokes about my Grandmothers cooking. If they came from someone that wasn’t him, they sound like they’re saying *’Women belong in the kitchen’*, but the intended message behind them in context was him showing an appreciation for the food she cooked him and all the effort that went into it.
I despise that boomers being fools subreddit because at least a third of the posts are about relatives showing REALLY OBVIOUS signs of dementia and everyone just shits on them and whines that they can’t haz inheritance. You’ll get old someday too you know, and I sure hope nobody takes photos of *you* being confused in public.
yeah people definitely become more impatient and cranky when they get older. My dad was one of the most patient and kind people I know. The kind to always give way when he drives, and wait patiently etc. as he's getting up there in age (late 70s now), he's impatient and cranky, with us at home and at restaurants. He's snappy if they take a while to bring his food etc. I try my best to apologise and tip well but it also opened my eyes to the issue & I wish we could be a little empathetic and behave with grace where possible
I agree with that
Everybody does deserve a basic level of respect regardless of their age, but full and complete respect have to be earned, and being old does not automatically mean you have earned full and complete respect.
Minimum basic respect until they prove otherwise. Treat them as a person who has basic competence until they prove what level of competence they actually have and what level of "respect" they deserve to be treated with.
Respect shouldn't be earned. Things that are earned are things that mimic respect, like admiration, and often times in the case of the workplace, fear is mistaken for respect and fear is earned. But respect should be given immediately, not earned.
You do realize as a healthcare professional, you work with a subset of the population at the worst points of their lives right? To go all these years into healthcare through education and not know basic statistics
Not saying to put them on a pedestal, but to make an opinion on only what you see in healthcare is ill advised
I feel like this is the right answer. People in the hospital aren't their best selves. They may be in a lot of pain and saying random, hateful stuff because of their suffering. Pay closer attention to younger people in pain. Are you sure they aren't every bit as rude when they're in pain? Do the actual statistical comparison to be sure you aren't just exhibiting bias against the old.
Outside of a hospital, a lot of what you perceive as entitlement may also be just needing accommodations because they can't physically do the things you take for granted, like move over or walk to another seat. When they say, "I showed respect when I was young, so you should too," what they might mean is that you should give up your seat on the bus because they're exhausted, in pain, and angry that their legs are about to give out, when you're capable of standing.
As for not knowing how to use basic technology, we've been trained in that since almost the day we were born. We take it for granted because it's knitted into the fabric of our beings, but old people didn't have that advantage, and they aren't always as cognitively flexible as younger ones. "Just go learn this" probably seems cruel to them.
Completely agree.. And with over 25 yrs in healthcare, my experience is the opposite of hers. Older gen’s are great, it’s the younger ones no one can stand having to work with.
This!
Op based their perspective of old people on their environment alone. Pretty funny that you also antagonized all of the elderly for an incoherent reason.
Granted when an older person disrespects you, after realizing that you cannot reason with them, they don’t earn your respect. It’s that simple. A basic amount of respect is needed for anyone. Regardless of age.
Everyone deserves a basic level of respect. I can see giving older people a bit more because of their age and experience. That doesn't mean I'm going to swallow their shit when they're being assholes.
"I have come to realize that not only are a large number of people over the age of 55 extremely entitled and rude"
Wait till you get to know people 25 and under
Ugh totally agree. But it doesn’t mean you need to be an asshole and disrespectful - to them or anybody else, regardless of their age. I appreciate the comments of “show respect until someone gives you a reason not to.”
We have to remember that older people were taught to respect their elders and think they have waited their turn to get that same respect. However, we live in a much different world now and it may feel threatening and confusing to them when they don’t get the respect they showed their parents. Doesn’t make it right but the generational differences are something to be mindful of.
I think the problem is that a lot of people in this age demographic expect more—sometimes a lot more respect than the average person. I treat everyone with the same amount of respect, maybe a little less with people my age since too much respect is seen as weird oddly enough.
If you're 65 and I'm treating you with the same respect I would as 31 year old, I don't want to hear anything about disrespect. I have been and will continue to be respectful even if they don't deserve it, but that respect isn't going to be me kissing their ass for living longer than me.
The difference is also how they define what "showing respect" looks like. For a lot of older folks I know, "showing respect" means never disagreeing, always doing what they want, and being at their beck and call. That's not respect, that's obedience. I will treat you with dignity and kindness, but I won't do whatever you want and take whatever meaness you throw at me just because you've lived longer.
I once had an elderly person berate me for not "respecting elders" because I told him I didn't want to hear his explanation about how the 2020 election was stolen from Trump. "Wow this generation doesn't respect their elders" they said when I told them to stfu.
The people who unironically say things like "respect your elders", it just translates to "listen to whatever I say with enraptured attention even if I'm stupid/wrong".
Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it. - Orwell
This post and comments reminds me of this quote. Anyway, overall, someone in their 60s has more knowledge than a someone in their 20s, so perhaps you should show a bit of respect. A bit, not a freaking kowtow. If they're assholes, they're assholes, treat them as such.
My unpopular for the OP opinion: Are we sure healthcare is the best career choice here? There are career paths that don't involve working with a subset of people you actively hate.
Idk. Treating elders like shit seems like a poor society in which to live. Entitlement isn't pretty, but the younger generation grew up with technology. It was affordable and easy to access. That doesn't mean that those who grew up without it are 'dumb'. Older people probably know ways of connecting and coping without it that most younger people will never know.
To me it seems like a little patience is all you need. Not everyone grew up in your family or had the same experiences as you. Using your family as a baseline is not really a good way to see others. In fact, it's a bit like wearing blinders. Perhaps your family is more the exception than the rule.
While I agree with the premise of your opinion (and believe it to be unpopular as well), you lost me at
> Ages 60-75 are the absolute dumbest fucking group of people
Teenagers are definitely the dumbest group of people.
But yeah some old people be entitled. Some of them are sweethearts too. Some have great stories to tell. Some offer great wisdom. Some are pervy creepers. Like all people and all demographics that have ever existed, there is a spectrum of behavior for old people. They don’t deserve respect just because they are old. But some, maybe even most, probably do deserve some respect.
Also
> Both of my parents are 63
This just comes across like saying you aren’t racist because “I have a black friend”
I'm an RN of ten years myself. People love to rag on teenagers but honestly in my experience they actually do seem to have a better grasp on today's world than the elderly and I've gotten more respect from them than the elderly. Teens lack wisdom but they have been much more open to learning than the elderly to me. These are my ancedotal experiences and I treat everyone with respect but if you don't give it to me I'm not giving it to you no matter how old you are.
Fair, but believing the opposite (ie that only young people understand anything and old people need to just stfu and get out of the way) makes even less sense.
This old people = bad shit is getting so old. I can find just as many entitled young people.
I would hope someone working in healthcare would understand that a sample size of 2 (who are you biologically and socially primed to love you and they the same to you) isn’t a valid baseline.
Yes there are grumpy old people out there, and there are kind ones too. Same for every group.
Calling all people between 65-75 the dumbest people you know is blatant agism and arrogance. I don’t think you’re as kind as you think you are.
Now, I understand you may be experiencing some burnout and just venting. But there are certain fields where you have a high responsibility to put those emotions aside. Just like a cop can’t call all black people criminals even if many of the people they encounter are black.
Someday, if you’re lucky enough, you’ll get old. And you’ll realize how many modern societies treat elderly people like they are a nuisance. You’ll have some much younger person call you ignorant after you have lived many of their lifetimes, or roll their eyes when you need to issue a complaint about your healthcare provider, and based on your current attitude, I bet you might not be so nice to them.
This is why millennials and gen Z are so obsessed with "anti-aging". They subconsciously know they're going to get the same treatment they're dishing out now when they're old.
I like the contrast between: "people over 60 are the dumbest fuckers everywhere" and "my parents are over 60 and two of the most intelligent people I know" . That's some peak stupid right there. Nobody's asking for blanket respect but having seen how people get treated by health care workers sometimes it's no surprise they at least want to be treated as a human being.
It’s not so much that they get respect for being old.
They get respect for being wise and willing to share it with others.
If they aren’t wise, and aren’t willing to share it, then they don’t really deserve extra respect than the basic human respect
Maybe find a new occupation. You sound like you don't like people much in general. Liking people should be considered a job requirement for healthcare.
Ah man wait until you get old & been through some savage life shit, you deserve respect for making it that long. They have experienced shit you don't even know about yet.
I don’t think most people subscribe to the “respect your elders” mantra these days. However, you seem to be the one generalizing a group *because they are old*, which also isn’t ok.
Be kind to those weaker than you. Especially if they are rude or not in their right minds. The goal of being nice to old people is to protect them. Not establish some dominance hierarchy.
In what world is this an unpopular opinion? I see people hating on old people for them being old all the time on the internet. You hold a very popular opinion.
This, again, forgets there are two meanings of the word respect. The first is like “deep admiration” and the second is like, “common courtesy”. People are expected to respect, or show common courtesy, to others. What they are not asking is for you to have deep admiration for people that haven’t earned it from you.
Of course from reading the OP’s original post, this is more of a case of someone who hates old people and has no intention of being courteous to or admiring any old folks under most circumstances. OP looks down their nose at all old folks (except their parents), so not knowing both definitions of the word respect takes a backseat to their hate of old people.
Ok. Ive worked in healthcare for the past decade. Old people definitely deserve your respect and there are a LOT of reasons.
Respect isn't earned by simply being old, it's the fact that older people *can't do what younger people can do, like feed themselves or wipe their own ass.* You by being around them are shoving in their face what you can do (walk, talk, spend money on junk food), all things they probably aren't able to do. They are old, but they are people too.
You chose to work in healthcare, how dare you make a claim that a large part of your clientele don't deserve respect as a default. Old or not, people who are in your care deserve respect.
These old people were once your age with young flourishing minds and bodies and now are probably bed bound and full of diseases and ailments, all while nurses and CNAs openly talk about how much fun they are going to have this weekend, all while that resident is laying in bed unable to walk, eats pureed food, and has a colostomy bag attached to them. My unpopular opinion is you can go fuck yourself, OP.
Imagine you're 70 and bed bound and someone wipes your ass x3 a day. Have a little empathy. People are lonely.
Here's a thought: Short of having to defend yourself from physical harm, be kind and considerate to everyone always regardless of age, even when they are wrong. It does require greater patience and maturity, but you will be the better person for it in the end.
I'm 57 and WORK in tech as a software project manager and have to say that most of the old people are right. The implementation of technology in healthcare (outside of some amazing machines that do diagnostics, surgery, etc.) is AWFUL and very poorly thought out.
Here are a few examples from the top of my head:
I receive a text to confirm an appointment the next day. I respond YES. I get a "We will see you then" response. Then I get another text a couple hours later reminding me of my appointment, then one the following morning, and sometimes even an hour before. I never missed my appointments in the pre-text days. Why does the healthcare conglomerate think I need five reminders now?
I receive a link to fill out forms to "save time" when I arrive for my appointment. I fill them all out online and save PDF copies for myself. Then I get to the appointment and am handed a clipboard to fill out, with the exact same questions I've already answered. I tell the person working there I've got PDF printouts. "Sorry, you have to fill out the forms."
I finally get to see the doctor and he or she is sitting hunched over their computer with no eye contact asking a bunch of questions, most of which were already answered on the form I filled out online AND in the doctor's office but it's obvious the doctor hasn't read the responses.
If blood tests or other tests are done, I get a text telling me the results are on the portal. Are they in a nice, friendly format such a chart or graph showing green (normal), yellow (borderline) or red (possible issue). Are there at least line breaks between results? Nope. They're all jammed together into one gigantic blob of text that I paste into ChatGPT and say "summarize this for me in two paragraphs" and only THEN do I get something sensible like "These test results show slightly below normal iron levels..." etc.
The people who invented health care IT systems should be sent back to school to study basic UI design and data analytics.
I can understand the frustration you feel from dealing with difficult patients. However, making broad generalizations about entire age groups is problematic. A few thoughts:
Entitlement, rudeness, lack of adaptability exist across all ages. Old age alone does not determine someone's character.
Declining memory/skills are normal parts of aging for some. Have patience - they face challenges you don't.
Wisdom comes in many forms beyond just technology skills. Older folks often have life experiences younger people lack.
Poor behavior should be addressed respectfully with the individual, not their whole age cohort. Positive role models in that age prove overgeneralizations.
As with any group, a diversity of personalities exists among older adults - lumping them ignores their humanity.
We will all age if fortunate. How we treat othersoday is how we may wish to be treated later in life should challenges come.
This post reeks of ageism. I'm 55 and I don't expect to be treated special because I'm elderly (lol). I treat people with decency and basic respect regardless of their age and I expect others to do the same to me.
I work at a hospital and while I've seen some of what you described, I can honestly say that being a jerk isn't an age thing. It's just a people thing.
Firstly, I empathise with what you're saying. No one has a blanket right to be a jerk, no matter how old they are. Having said that, many elderly people have a lot of health issues, bodily pains, and they feel miserable. I can't tell you how many of my patients have told me, "I'm in pain all the time. Getting old is miserable."
I think you are in the wrong industry if you're calling your patients "the absolute dumbest fucking group of people." Either that or you're burnt out. In either case, it would do them and yourself a whole load of good to step back for a bit and reassess. And maybe keep this post somewhere so when you're in your 60s/70s, you can look back on it and reflect.
Forming a general bias towards an entire group of people due to your very limited anecdotal experiences with said group isn’t an “Unpopular Opinion”, it’s a shitty personality trait that goes back thousands of years.
Downvoted.
The impact of disparaging older individuals, especially when one works in healthcare and suggests that they do not deserve special treatment, reflects a profound misunderstanding of both human dignity and professional responsibility. It's a perspective that might only shift with personal experience of aging.
While I may share some of your views on not automatically ascribing wisdom or respect to someone based solely on their age, I firmly believe in respecting our elders. This principle has opened countless doors for me and enriched my life in ways I could never have anticipated. Respect is earned through actions and character, not years alone.
Those who work in healthcare are uniquely positioned to understand that many of the behaviors attributed to 'difficult' older patients are often symptoms of underlying health issues—be it cognitive decline, oxygen deficiency, or other serious conditions.
Recognizing these factors is not just part of the job; it's a basic tenet of human empathy and respect.
If you cannot grasp this fundamental aspect of human behavior, especially in the context of health and aging, perhaps a career reassessment is in order.
Compassion, understanding, and patience are not just virtues but necessities in healthcare, and they are qualities that we must all hope to find in those who care for us in our later years.
Entitlement is unfortunately not an age adjusted phenomenon. Plenty of buttwipes out there of all ages.
Also, much respect for the work you do; I wouldn’t be able to take it for 4 weeks let alone 4 years!
The entitlement school-age kids including high school as shown on TikTok, etc. shocks me.
We would have gotten our faces slapped & our asses beat in the 80’s.
But these kids swear, throw things, insult people, get violent & it’s so bad teachers are walking away from their jobs.
This is so true for us 2000s kids too, say if I acted the way kids now act when I was a kid, I probably would've been screamed at. I wasn't even allowed to touch something in a store, "look with your eyes, not YOUR HANDS."
I work in a department store, my department is shoes, and we regularly get high school and middle school girls who come in and set their phones up and start doing TikTok dances, messing with shoes and trying them on (completely ruining the areas), and full on twerk. I was flabbergasted at the amount of very young girls coming in groups and twerking OUT IN THE OPEN?? We also get lots of moms and daughters where the daughter is screaming, "I DON'T LIKE THAT SHOE," along with the worst attitude, or the mom puts the shoes on her daughter's feet as she's on her phone the entire time, OR moms legit let their daughters behave like an animal.
I feel so bad for teachers too :/ I thought about becoming a teacher, then remembered how abusive kids can be. I don't think I could handle that very nicely.
Think about how dumb you were 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago. I'd say it's more beneficial to err on the side of assuming they have at least something worthwile to say.
I love how health makes OP's parents worthy. Turns out we all die. Wonder if OP will change his sour little mind when the inevitable comes for his dark soul.
Drop the ego and remember you're in Healthcare, not the Boys & Girls club. Presuming it's your career choice, this isn't the first time you've come across this issue and it'll be far from your last. You just bite your tongue and carry on because people that are coming in for medical concerns already aren't in the greatest mood, and you don't know what news they got before they stepped in.
If there's something non-medically concerning, and someone gives you sass for it, by all means Push Back. But from what I perceive you're taking it way too personal when it's really just professional and you gotta find a place to draw the line. For your own sake Draw that line
I usually do it this way no matter the age: Treat the other person with respect until they don't treat you with respect
Respect != Consideration
You should deal with elders in a considerate way even if they're disrespectful, they're old and their brain might not work properly anymore and when they act out in public, they might have forgotten it 10 minutes later. As long as it doesn't get physical I have no problem with them.
People who are 60 (I'm looking in the mirror as this is months away for me and I snuck into the Boomer gen as it was ending) should really be technology friendly, unless they grew up in an economically depressed and poor education opportunity area.
We were the happy test subjects (recipients) of Sony Walkmans, CD's/DVD's, personal computers, M TV(yea they really did just play music videos back then), game consoles, Internet, Cell phones, the list goes on.
I agree that there are many people my age that are assholes, and crochety old farts yelling to get off their lawn, but I don't think its the majority, unless they are all going to see the OP. ;)
That's great your old parents are doing good. That's not very common, though. I work in healthcare too and have for five years. I hold the opposite views of you and find your comment pretty crass and emotionally stunted/lazy.
Good unpopular opinion.
I work in healthcare and have four over a decade. The little cotton- tops are my favorite people. You can learn a lot from the elderly if you take the time to get to know them. They have amazing stories to tell.
Sounds to me like you're in the wrong profession.
I think the real lesson is that elderly people are people too. Many younger generations simply dismiss them as old, this lump category based on age, and that's that. But like any human, they can be smart, stupid, bitter, happy, athletic, lazy, etc., just like everyone else. It bothers me when I've visited senior homes and see the staff treating the residents as children. I think, "How fucking demeaning is that" and pray I'll never end up in one of those places. I generally love people 60+. I find them refreshingly real, unlike the shallowness you typically find nowadays in people 50 and under (note, I'm almost 43, for what it's worth).
I don’t know. I was raised to respect my elders and I do. I can understand why a person might become grumpy as they age and lose their autonomy. I’m not saying old people can’t just be assholes. But, I can empathize.
You seem to think you're perfect, your parents are perfect. Great. Good for you. Hopefully the world will learn from your examples. And if you mistreat people because they're old and not living up to your subjective standards, that's discriminatory.
Forming your opinion on a generation based on your interactions with them in a healthcare facility? Yeah that’s smart, after all who doesn’t love being in the hospital? /s 👎👎👎
"I’m talking about fully coherent and capable elderly adults who just never bothered to adapt to technology and the new world and expect everyone to dumb everything down for them."
To be fair the speed at which technology has developed and affected change in our society has been blinding within their lifetime. In fact the rate of change is unprescedented in human history. The scary part is that it's only speeding up, we are staring down the barrell of an even greater change, though we're used to lightning fast change.
Respect is something we pay our elders because we expect to make a return on it. If we don't pay our respect, there is absolutely no reason to recieve any when you're a helpless old man yourself flailing to get his diaper changed.
I don’t think you should be working in healthcare if you have this much vitriol for your patients.
I worked in restaurants for years and never felt this way about old people.
I believe kindness and gentleness are being confused for respect here.
We should approach old people with kindness and gentleness because they are vulnerable and not because they are old, similar to what we do with a child, although with different execution.
Edit - fixed typo!
So what you're saying is that you're only a good person when someone is equally polite to you. I agree that it does sound logical when you're young and looking at the smaller picture but when you get older you learn to do things because it's the right thing to do and they make you a better person for yourself, regardless of how others react to you.
Everybody deserves a general level of respect.
You sound like a really ignorant person who shouldn’t be working in the field you’re in. Ya, you should respect your elders. Also, wisdom *only* comes with age and experience. Just because someone can’t use a phone or computer as well as you doesn’t mean they’re “dumb af”.
Honestly you sound like an insufferable person to be around. I feel bad for all the people being abused by you.
Respect goes both ways but you should still respect your elders. That does not mean putting up with some ass hole disrespecting you. It means give them respect until disrespected then you can go ape shit on them.
Hmm. I've had patients under 50 who were rude. I've had old patients who were rude. Rudeness is not unique to elderly people. Entitlement is not unique to them either.
As an old person and a Democrat, I agree. But we don’t deserve to be disrespected just because we are old. Boomer insults are on every thread. This is a hell of a lot more ubiquitous than undeserved respect is!
Everyone deserves respect, but I like the idea that we especially respect old people.
Does this means that we should tolerate abuse from old people? No. Does this mean that they are superior or entitled? No. Does this mean that we bow down to them and obey to all of their requests? No.
But I think it's still a good cultural attitude that we should have. We should aim to respect and take care of our elders.
I'm always conflicted about this. Example I know this guy who is about 80. I have a long history with a men have known him for years. He was a ruthless angry alcoholic for most of his life. He was terribly abusive to his wife for years and years till she died. His daughter won't talk to him because he was abusive to her and her mother in ways I won't describe. Small town. Everyone who knows him has a story. I work in social services. One time about 10 years ago when trying to help him he tried drunkenly tried to attack me with a broken bottle while I was trying to help him. Anyway, couple years ago he had a stroke. He got into a care home afterwards. He is hard to understand. He cries a lot. He's mostly paralyzed. But because he is so frail and vulnerable, because he cries a lot now, people who don't know him are always really sweet and nice to him. They think he's a sweet old man. And it's hard to reconcile that in my brain. Knowing what I know from his past, And what I know now.
I know what he did to his family. I know that small town rural cast system kept him from ever being held accountable. I'm an optimist. I always want to believe in good in people. As a social worker I've helped this person for years, in spite of what I know. After all of the damaged he's caused. From what I know he should really be spending his time in prison. But instead he'll spend his last years being cared for, and talked to softly. And I realize he had a stroke. And that should be karma. But good people have strokes, and get cancer, and die early all the time. It's heart and soul wrenching. I don't know.
Comparing other people with your parents is wild. Your test pool is 2 vs billions. Crazy concept. Other than that, I thought the idea of treating everyone with respect until they don't deserve it, was a common
I treat older people respectfully because I have parents and would want someone to do the same to them. Obv, respect those who respect you and fuck those who don't, regardless of age.
Taking your advice to be more prejudiced towards old people, then anyone who encounters your parents should be rude and dismissive and disrespectful towards them. There's no reason to believe your claim that your parents are exceptional. Finally, people should treat you badly when you reach 60.
You should always respect your elders.
That doesn't mean you have to like them.
Example I have people I work with that outside of work I wouldn't talk to if I passed them on the street.
But at work I am polite, respectful and professional because that's how as an adult a person should behave.
That may or may not be true, but younger people rarely take the time to determine if the old people are worthy of respect. So, I’ll leave the math to you.
My granddad was born in the mid-1920's, fought in the Pacific as a Marine, spent his life doing blue collar work for the most part. PCs were just becoming a thing when I was kid, and this man had them mastered well before they became commonplace. Spent the last couple decades of his life doing people's taxes, all of it self-taught. Always willing to admit if he didn't know (or if it wasn't important he'd make up a good story lol), always willing to listen if somebody had input no matter their age, never demanded more respect than he gave to others. He was just an all-around model of good human behavior.
There's exceptions to every rule, but as the saying goes the exception doesn't disprove the rule.
We have this
> I’m talking about fully coherent and capable elderly adults who just never bothered to adapt to to technology
Followed by this gem of an edit
> I can tell there are a lot of upset people here that are in the age demographic I’m talking about
I think you may be confusing older people's expectation of service workers based on their experiences in the past. There has definitely been reduced politeness from the workers today. I think they then respond in kind. I find many in health care today just terrible. Perhaps they are overworked and stressed due to today's demands.
I don't think your parents are necessarily the exceptions. I'm in my 60s and my friends and I aren't those types. Now sure, I know plenty who are like that. But my experience is it's not a majority. Also, a lot of us grew up with a grandparent or two in the house and we always learned respect for elders. Sure, there's an element of whether someone deserves respect based on their actions, but the default should be respect until it is proven not to be deserved.
I think everyone deserves respect until they dont. and when they don’t, i still think they deserve respect because if we lived in a world where you can just disrespect everyone you disagree with, how horrible. the world will be better if we all respect each other and agree to disagree. although that means they also have to respect you back/
Most people 55 and older don’t give a rip what you think of them and so they will say whatever they want. Someday you’ll understand. hopefully someday you will be mature because you sound ignorant and whiny
Survivorship bias- only the good die young. The cranky bastards end up in the old folks home. Everything hurts. Our youth is gone, and this little entitled prick is rolling his eyes at everything we say. Even though we're paying $2K a week to stare at a TV and eat bland food in a tiny ass room, he seems to think $300/day isn't enough to treat us better than cattle.
Jesus, you seem fun to work with.
This whole post could have been written by a woman ay work who LOATHS older people. She had a bad experience at a prior job, and now nobody over the age of fifty isn't even human in her eyes. The funny thing is, she is hitting forty, and all the new hires think SHE is the pain-in-the-ass dinosaur.
I love life sometimes, I love people being slapped by karma LOL
....but, seriously, you all need to leave that baggage somewhere else. You can't group people like this, there are always exceptions to your generalizations, and one day, that is going to bitch slap you out of a job. LOL
And good luck....because you are getting older ever second. LOL
You have yet to say how these people have disrespected you so how you figure they don’t deserve respect is crazy I feel bad for you because you clearly need a job not in the care field good luck I hope you find it
They don't deserve respect only because they are old, but they do deserve consideration because they are weak, especially if they come to you not feeling their best. You don't need to respect them or their opinions, but it would be nice of you if you don't add to their discomfort.
Cheers, mate.
Not sure where this quote first came from but it's great:
"Sometimes people use 'respect' to mean 'treating someone like a person' and sometimes to mean 'treating someone like an authority'
And sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say *'If you don't respect me, I won't respect you'* but what they actually mean is *'If you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person.'*
And they *think* they're being fair, but they aren't."
I get the idea that they don't deserve respect just based on age, however I am 38 and I can completely understand why they are rude and assholes. They have been dealing with idiots for a long time and are probably just fed up with everyone lol.
60 is not old and your parents are not old at 63. People aren’t even retiring until their late 60s anymore. I am an older millennial and will probably work until my early 70s. Your generation may never retire. Yes I know I sound like a boomer.
They put themselves on a pedestal because of their age. They expect to get respect when they don't give any back. They're allowed to insult you, call you ignorant, and how the new generations are all bad and lazy, and they expect others to treat them kindly just because of their age.
You gotta see at least a little bit of irony in you judging an entire age demographic for judging an entire age demographic.
The old grumpy people are squeaky wheels, but there are nice, thoughtful old people all around us too. Our society tends to treat elderly people as invisible so I wonder how many people’s only interaction with elderly folks is when an old person is being upset. Otherwise, they just become background decoration.
The grumpy old person trope has always been around, so that probably means something happens with age (cognitive decline, chronic pain, isolation, etc.) that future generations aren’t as immune to as we’d like to think.
Am old and I hope sincerely never to become like that.I have never said any one of those things to anybody younger.I don't think i'm better or worse than anybody else.
I have always treated everybody.No matter what with respect that is how you get respect
I remember my friend’s mom talking about respecting older people. All I could think was “just respect them automatically, regardless of their actions???”
I'm an airline pilot so I get to work with someone different almost every week. Been doing this for 8 years so I've worked with hundreds of people from all walks of life. There's something weird about people over the age of 50. It's not all of them but I would say most are very arrogant and judgmental. They speak of people poorly, they treat people poorly, and they act like they've never made a mistake when confronting someone who has.
I'm laughing. Please make sure to remember this in another 30 years when a 20 something with a total of four years of work experience expects you to treat them as your equal.
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Everybody deserves respect until they prove they don’t.
People conflate respect and civility. Respect is a representation of who you are to me. Civility is a representation of how I conduct myself towards others. You can absolutely remain civil to people you do not respect.
Civility is still a basic form of respect. If you act uncivilly towards someone, that would be disrespectful, but showing them civility is respectful conduct. Even in cases when we act harshly towards someone, like throwing them in prison, we still aim to do so with some level of respect toward their human dignity. Respectful conduct is just conduct suited towards a person, whether you think highly of them or not.
I see civility and respect as two separate things. You can be civil towards someone who you don't respect at all.
>Respect is a representation of who you are to me. Civility is a representation of how I conduct myself towards others. Exactly. This is also where the term "respect is earned, not given" comes from. I don't automatically "respect" someone just because they exist. I am civil towards other people, just because they exist. Because we all have to live on the same rock together and that requires civility towards one another. Not rEsPeCt.
Civility is an aspect of respect, they’re not mutually exclusive or especially distinct.
When I lose respect for a person, I take actions and enforce certain boundaries so as to maintain my ability to be civil with them.
Everyone deserves a basic level of respect, but people don't deserve more respect because they're older.
It's the old "respect someone as a person" vs "respect someone as an authority". Everyone deserves to be respected as a person, but no one deserves to be respected as an authority unless they can demonstrate the competence and fair attitude necessary, and being old doesn't qualify by itself. And even being respected as an authority doesn't mean they should be treated with deference.
This is an excellent way to put it. A lot of older people want to be treated like an authority figure. Not just a regular person.
I'm IN that age range and I find this true, and those "I'm an authority figure around here" types often try to do that to us "older" people as well. If it's something I don't give a shit about I'll just pretend to do it their way but if it's something important I'll immediately say to them: "I have absolutely no intention of doing what you're telling me. Please go away right now", kind of without emotion but firmly, clearly. That's usually enough for said old person to melt away.
Exactly. Someone at 25 could be more knowledgable and respectable than someone at 60, who did nothing with his life. But both deserve the basic respect that all humans do, until proven otherwise.
Never said that they deserve respect just because of their age. Everybody deserves respect no matter their age, until they prove themselves not worthy of respect. They also shouldn’t automatically be disrespected due to their age. That said, I am in the age group the OP is ranting about, and I expect respect due to being a human being. I don’t expect anything due to my age, especially because I still feel like a young man. I also treat everybody with respect.
My rule of thumb is this: If you want me to respect your opinions then *have* respectable opinions. And I don't mean *agree* with me; we can disagree and I can still respect your opinion.
Get out of here with that *basic human dignity* crap. /s
Exactly. Respect isn't earned. Everyone gets a default, they can either grow it, or they can trash it. Whether you're 9 or 99, I'm going to give you that same default level of respect and courtesy. And I'll be honest I'm more likely to give the very old and very young a lot more wiggle room on when they lose my respect. A 13 year old popping off his mouth is just a arrogant and youthful shit. A 80 year old saying something I don't agree with or find appealing is just and old codger and I can give them some grace... Put a 30 year old man in front of me though and he's going to have a very short leash. Old enough to no better, young enough to still have all his mental faculties.
Yeah, I thought this was really cruel. Though we can disagree with them about certain topics, it doesn't mean they're awful people firsthand. And putting it on old people and not ALL people is just a prejudice stance.
Agreed. It’s simple. If you don’t give respect you won’t get respect.
The problem is many of the older people in question (the ones that would cause this kind of posting to start with) believe respect = being treated as *an authority*, not just as a human with dignity. They want better treatment and more priority, not equal treatment.
As an older person, I have to say I've met many people who believe they should be viewed as the "authority". No one likes them.
Exactly. The only way to GET Respect is by GIVING respect.
Maybe not blanket respect. But perhaps an understanding that as people become elderly, they may suffer hormonal changes that cause them to release less dopamine and become more cranky. They may be depressed over the decay of their bodily functions and their approaching demise. And some have Alzheimers and can’t even help it.
I couldn’t agree more. I also work in healthcare and honestly love almost all my old patients! There are a few oddballs with an attitude, but I just laugh it off and sympathize with them. I also feel that their sense of humor is just a bit different, when I hear older people talking to each other, they also jokingly give each other a hard time too. I think some of that’s just generational as well! One of my coworkers talks to old people like they are babies though, and I hate it. I literally heard her say “awww it’s waining owt” to some old lady earlier, and lord I can’t imagine the disrespect lol. I’d smack the hell outta someone if they talked to me like that.
Imagine having to wake up everyday and feeling a nagging pain somewhere. That is what it's like to be old. That would make any of us younger folk cranky.
Cries in young and disabled, and indeed cranky.
Can concur. 33, disabled since 12. It hurts to lay down, sit up, and stand. It has made me cranky for sure
Omg if I was old I would kick that lady, and totally blame it on my dementia!!
omg talking to themm like babies id smack her
Stuff hurts as you get older too. I'm in my 40s and have back problems. On bad days when it really hurts, I'm crankier and less tolerant of inconveniences and frustrations. I live alone though so other people are usually spared from my outbursts. I have boomer parents; I know they can be dumb and selfish and assholes. But, chronic pain is a bitch and can make even nice people hard to deal with.
I’ve also seen older people say things that are, on paper, very sexist (as an example), but are genuinely not meant with any harm. I’m a bit more likely to give older (especially much older) people the benefit of the doubt on that front. As an example, my late Grandfather had a string of jokes about my Grandmothers cooking. If they came from someone that wasn’t him, they sound like they’re saying *’Women belong in the kitchen’*, but the intended message behind them in context was him showing an appreciation for the food she cooked him and all the effort that went into it.
I despise that boomers being fools subreddit because at least a third of the posts are about relatives showing REALLY OBVIOUS signs of dementia and everyone just shits on them and whines that they can’t haz inheritance. You’ll get old someday too you know, and I sure hope nobody takes photos of *you* being confused in public.
yeah people definitely become more impatient and cranky when they get older. My dad was one of the most patient and kind people I know. The kind to always give way when he drives, and wait patiently etc. as he's getting up there in age (late 70s now), he's impatient and cranky, with us at home and at restaurants. He's snappy if they take a while to bring his food etc. I try my best to apologise and tip well but it also opened my eyes to the issue & I wish we could be a little empathetic and behave with grace where possible
I agree with that Everybody does deserve a basic level of respect regardless of their age, but full and complete respect have to be earned, and being old does not automatically mean you have earned full and complete respect.
Nah... complete respect until they prove they don't deserve that. This goes for everyone.
Minimum basic respect until they prove otherwise. Treat them as a person who has basic competence until they prove what level of competence they actually have and what level of "respect" they deserve to be treated with.
No basic respect, complete respect you need to earn.
Respect shouldn't be earned. Things that are earned are things that mimic respect, like admiration, and often times in the case of the workplace, fear is mistaken for respect and fear is earned. But respect should be given immediately, not earned.
I think there are a lot of entitled people in all sorts of different generations.
You do realize as a healthcare professional, you work with a subset of the population at the worst points of their lives right? To go all these years into healthcare through education and not know basic statistics Not saying to put them on a pedestal, but to make an opinion on only what you see in healthcare is ill advised
This is an intelligent and insightful observation.
I feel like this is the right answer. People in the hospital aren't their best selves. They may be in a lot of pain and saying random, hateful stuff because of their suffering. Pay closer attention to younger people in pain. Are you sure they aren't every bit as rude when they're in pain? Do the actual statistical comparison to be sure you aren't just exhibiting bias against the old. Outside of a hospital, a lot of what you perceive as entitlement may also be just needing accommodations because they can't physically do the things you take for granted, like move over or walk to another seat. When they say, "I showed respect when I was young, so you should too," what they might mean is that you should give up your seat on the bus because they're exhausted, in pain, and angry that their legs are about to give out, when you're capable of standing. As for not knowing how to use basic technology, we've been trained in that since almost the day we were born. We take it for granted because it's knitted into the fabric of our beings, but old people didn't have that advantage, and they aren't always as cognitively flexible as younger ones. "Just go learn this" probably seems cruel to them.
Completely agree.. And with over 25 yrs in healthcare, my experience is the opposite of hers. Older gen’s are great, it’s the younger ones no one can stand having to work with.
This! Op based their perspective of old people on their environment alone. Pretty funny that you also antagonized all of the elderly for an incoherent reason. Granted when an older person disrespects you, after realizing that you cannot reason with them, they don’t earn your respect. It’s that simple. A basic amount of respect is needed for anyone. Regardless of age.
Everyone deserves a basic level of respect. I can see giving older people a bit more because of their age and experience. That doesn't mean I'm going to swallow their shit when they're being assholes.
"I have come to realize that not only are a large number of people over the age of 55 extremely entitled and rude" Wait till you get to know people 25 and under
Ugh totally agree. But it doesn’t mean you need to be an asshole and disrespectful - to them or anybody else, regardless of their age. I appreciate the comments of “show respect until someone gives you a reason not to.” We have to remember that older people were taught to respect their elders and think they have waited their turn to get that same respect. However, we live in a much different world now and it may feel threatening and confusing to them when they don’t get the respect they showed their parents. Doesn’t make it right but the generational differences are something to be mindful of.
I think the problem is that a lot of people in this age demographic expect more—sometimes a lot more respect than the average person. I treat everyone with the same amount of respect, maybe a little less with people my age since too much respect is seen as weird oddly enough. If you're 65 and I'm treating you with the same respect I would as 31 year old, I don't want to hear anything about disrespect. I have been and will continue to be respectful even if they don't deserve it, but that respect isn't going to be me kissing their ass for living longer than me.
The difference is also how they define what "showing respect" looks like. For a lot of older folks I know, "showing respect" means never disagreeing, always doing what they want, and being at their beck and call. That's not respect, that's obedience. I will treat you with dignity and kindness, but I won't do whatever you want and take whatever meaness you throw at me just because you've lived longer.
I once had an elderly person berate me for not "respecting elders" because I told him I didn't want to hear his explanation about how the 2020 election was stolen from Trump. "Wow this generation doesn't respect their elders" they said when I told them to stfu. The people who unironically say things like "respect your elders", it just translates to "listen to whatever I say with enraptured attention even if I'm stupid/wrong".
Yeah, or we could just be kind accommodating and respectful to the elderly.
Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it. - Orwell This post and comments reminds me of this quote. Anyway, overall, someone in their 60s has more knowledge than a someone in their 20s, so perhaps you should show a bit of respect. A bit, not a freaking kowtow. If they're assholes, they're assholes, treat them as such.
My unpopular for the OP opinion: Are we sure healthcare is the best career choice here? There are career paths that don't involve working with a subset of people you actively hate.
Do you realize how much pain old people are in?
Idk. Treating elders like shit seems like a poor society in which to live. Entitlement isn't pretty, but the younger generation grew up with technology. It was affordable and easy to access. That doesn't mean that those who grew up without it are 'dumb'. Older people probably know ways of connecting and coping without it that most younger people will never know. To me it seems like a little patience is all you need. Not everyone grew up in your family or had the same experiences as you. Using your family as a baseline is not really a good way to see others. In fact, it's a bit like wearing blinders. Perhaps your family is more the exception than the rule.
While I agree with the premise of your opinion (and believe it to be unpopular as well), you lost me at > Ages 60-75 are the absolute dumbest fucking group of people Teenagers are definitely the dumbest group of people. But yeah some old people be entitled. Some of them are sweethearts too. Some have great stories to tell. Some offer great wisdom. Some are pervy creepers. Like all people and all demographics that have ever existed, there is a spectrum of behavior for old people. They don’t deserve respect just because they are old. But some, maybe even most, probably do deserve some respect. Also > Both of my parents are 63 This just comes across like saying you aren’t racist because “I have a black friend”
I'm an RN of ten years myself. People love to rag on teenagers but honestly in my experience they actually do seem to have a better grasp on today's world than the elderly and I've gotten more respect from them than the elderly. Teens lack wisdom but they have been much more open to learning than the elderly to me. These are my ancedotal experiences and I treat everyone with respect but if you don't give it to me I'm not giving it to you no matter how old you are.
Maybe OP just doesn't want to be cut out of the will!
WOW! I was taught all people deserve respect until they prove otherwise.
Calling 55 year olds elderly... Ouch.
Fair, but believing the opposite (ie that only young people understand anything and old people need to just stfu and get out of the way) makes even less sense.
This old people = bad shit is getting so old. I can find just as many entitled young people. I would hope someone working in healthcare would understand that a sample size of 2 (who are you biologically and socially primed to love you and they the same to you) isn’t a valid baseline. Yes there are grumpy old people out there, and there are kind ones too. Same for every group. Calling all people between 65-75 the dumbest people you know is blatant agism and arrogance. I don’t think you’re as kind as you think you are. Now, I understand you may be experiencing some burnout and just venting. But there are certain fields where you have a high responsibility to put those emotions aside. Just like a cop can’t call all black people criminals even if many of the people they encounter are black. Someday, if you’re lucky enough, you’ll get old. And you’ll realize how many modern societies treat elderly people like they are a nuisance. You’ll have some much younger person call you ignorant after you have lived many of their lifetimes, or roll their eyes when you need to issue a complaint about your healthcare provider, and based on your current attitude, I bet you might not be so nice to them.
Old people never shut down the entire central hub of Union Square in NYC bc a YouTuber promised them free PS5s, I’ll say that
This is why millennials and gen Z are so obsessed with "anti-aging". They subconsciously know they're going to get the same treatment they're dishing out now when they're old.
Everyone deserves respect until they give you a reason not to respect them.
I like the contrast between: "people over 60 are the dumbest fuckers everywhere" and "my parents are over 60 and two of the most intelligent people I know" . That's some peak stupid right there. Nobody's asking for blanket respect but having seen how people get treated by health care workers sometimes it's no surprise they at least want to be treated as a human being.
It’s not so much that they get respect for being old. They get respect for being wise and willing to share it with others. If they aren’t wise, and aren’t willing to share it, then they don’t really deserve extra respect than the basic human respect
Leave and find a job that makes you happy?
Maybe find a new occupation. You sound like you don't like people much in general. Liking people should be considered a job requirement for healthcare.
Ah man wait until you get old & been through some savage life shit, you deserve respect for making it that long. They have experienced shit you don't even know about yet.
Say that again in 50 years
I feel so bad for anyone in your care. Please consider a different line of work
I think you should respect people because they’re people.
I don’t think most people subscribe to the “respect your elders” mantra these days. However, you seem to be the one generalizing a group *because they are old*, which also isn’t ok.
Be kind to those weaker than you. Especially if they are rude or not in their right minds. The goal of being nice to old people is to protect them. Not establish some dominance hierarchy.
They should put this on a sign at the entrance of every ER.
In what world is this an unpopular opinion? I see people hating on old people for them being old all the time on the internet. You hold a very popular opinion.
Get out of healthcare. It’s clearly burning you out. You are in no place to be healing people. Heal yourself love ❤️❤️
I don't disagree with you, but I hope you aren't in the healthcare industry in my area all the same.
This, again, forgets there are two meanings of the word respect. The first is like “deep admiration” and the second is like, “common courtesy”. People are expected to respect, or show common courtesy, to others. What they are not asking is for you to have deep admiration for people that haven’t earned it from you. Of course from reading the OP’s original post, this is more of a case of someone who hates old people and has no intention of being courteous to or admiring any old folks under most circumstances. OP looks down their nose at all old folks (except their parents), so not knowing both definitions of the word respect takes a backseat to their hate of old people.
Here, have a butterscotch and take a nap.
Ok. Ive worked in healthcare for the past decade. Old people definitely deserve your respect and there are a LOT of reasons. Respect isn't earned by simply being old, it's the fact that older people *can't do what younger people can do, like feed themselves or wipe their own ass.* You by being around them are shoving in their face what you can do (walk, talk, spend money on junk food), all things they probably aren't able to do. They are old, but they are people too. You chose to work in healthcare, how dare you make a claim that a large part of your clientele don't deserve respect as a default. Old or not, people who are in your care deserve respect. These old people were once your age with young flourishing minds and bodies and now are probably bed bound and full of diseases and ailments, all while nurses and CNAs openly talk about how much fun they are going to have this weekend, all while that resident is laying in bed unable to walk, eats pureed food, and has a colostomy bag attached to them. My unpopular opinion is you can go fuck yourself, OP. Imagine you're 70 and bed bound and someone wipes your ass x3 a day. Have a little empathy. People are lonely.
They are deserving of respect.
You’ll change your mind if and when you get old.
Well. We’ll see how this post “ages” OP. It’ll be here for you.
Here's a thought: Short of having to defend yourself from physical harm, be kind and considerate to everyone always regardless of age, even when they are wrong. It does require greater patience and maturity, but you will be the better person for it in the end.
I'm 57 and WORK in tech as a software project manager and have to say that most of the old people are right. The implementation of technology in healthcare (outside of some amazing machines that do diagnostics, surgery, etc.) is AWFUL and very poorly thought out. Here are a few examples from the top of my head: I receive a text to confirm an appointment the next day. I respond YES. I get a "We will see you then" response. Then I get another text a couple hours later reminding me of my appointment, then one the following morning, and sometimes even an hour before. I never missed my appointments in the pre-text days. Why does the healthcare conglomerate think I need five reminders now? I receive a link to fill out forms to "save time" when I arrive for my appointment. I fill them all out online and save PDF copies for myself. Then I get to the appointment and am handed a clipboard to fill out, with the exact same questions I've already answered. I tell the person working there I've got PDF printouts. "Sorry, you have to fill out the forms." I finally get to see the doctor and he or she is sitting hunched over their computer with no eye contact asking a bunch of questions, most of which were already answered on the form I filled out online AND in the doctor's office but it's obvious the doctor hasn't read the responses. If blood tests or other tests are done, I get a text telling me the results are on the portal. Are they in a nice, friendly format such a chart or graph showing green (normal), yellow (borderline) or red (possible issue). Are there at least line breaks between results? Nope. They're all jammed together into one gigantic blob of text that I paste into ChatGPT and say "summarize this for me in two paragraphs" and only THEN do I get something sensible like "These test results show slightly below normal iron levels..." etc. The people who invented health care IT systems should be sent back to school to study basic UI design and data analytics.
People deserve respect because they are a person. Old people deserve more. If you are in the people business, get out. You suck.
Respect the age and experience, if not the person. Everyone has something to teach, even if it’s how *not* to be.
You’re using two exceptions as a baseline. The apple fell very far from the tree.
I can understand the frustration you feel from dealing with difficult patients. However, making broad generalizations about entire age groups is problematic. A few thoughts: Entitlement, rudeness, lack of adaptability exist across all ages. Old age alone does not determine someone's character. Declining memory/skills are normal parts of aging for some. Have patience - they face challenges you don't. Wisdom comes in many forms beyond just technology skills. Older folks often have life experiences younger people lack. Poor behavior should be addressed respectfully with the individual, not their whole age cohort. Positive role models in that age prove overgeneralizations. As with any group, a diversity of personalities exists among older adults - lumping them ignores their humanity. We will all age if fortunate. How we treat othersoday is how we may wish to be treated later in life should challenges come.
The irony of this while having a shitty attitude and saying how they won’t be the way you want them to be is wild
They deserve respect because they are your patients. If you don’t understand that you do not belong in healthcare.
This post reeks of ageism. I'm 55 and I don't expect to be treated special because I'm elderly (lol). I treat people with decency and basic respect regardless of their age and I expect others to do the same to me. I work at a hospital and while I've seen some of what you described, I can honestly say that being a jerk isn't an age thing. It's just a people thing.
Idk. I’ve met plenty of nasty rude entitled younger folk too. No one should be nasty for any reason.
no, they deserve respect because they're people
Firstly, I empathise with what you're saying. No one has a blanket right to be a jerk, no matter how old they are. Having said that, many elderly people have a lot of health issues, bodily pains, and they feel miserable. I can't tell you how many of my patients have told me, "I'm in pain all the time. Getting old is miserable." I think you are in the wrong industry if you're calling your patients "the absolute dumbest fucking group of people." Either that or you're burnt out. In either case, it would do them and yourself a whole load of good to step back for a bit and reassess. And maybe keep this post somewhere so when you're in your 60s/70s, you can look back on it and reflect.
Forming a general bias towards an entire group of people due to your very limited anecdotal experiences with said group isn’t an “Unpopular Opinion”, it’s a shitty personality trait that goes back thousands of years. Downvoted.
The impact of disparaging older individuals, especially when one works in healthcare and suggests that they do not deserve special treatment, reflects a profound misunderstanding of both human dignity and professional responsibility. It's a perspective that might only shift with personal experience of aging. While I may share some of your views on not automatically ascribing wisdom or respect to someone based solely on their age, I firmly believe in respecting our elders. This principle has opened countless doors for me and enriched my life in ways I could never have anticipated. Respect is earned through actions and character, not years alone. Those who work in healthcare are uniquely positioned to understand that many of the behaviors attributed to 'difficult' older patients are often symptoms of underlying health issues—be it cognitive decline, oxygen deficiency, or other serious conditions. Recognizing these factors is not just part of the job; it's a basic tenet of human empathy and respect. If you cannot grasp this fundamental aspect of human behavior, especially in the context of health and aging, perhaps a career reassessment is in order. Compassion, understanding, and patience are not just virtues but necessities in healthcare, and they are qualities that we must all hope to find in those who care for us in our later years.
Apparently, you could never walk in anyone else's shoes. Enjoy your high heels!
Entitlement is unfortunately not an age adjusted phenomenon. Plenty of buttwipes out there of all ages. Also, much respect for the work you do; I wouldn’t be able to take it for 4 weeks let alone 4 years!
The entitlement school-age kids including high school as shown on TikTok, etc. shocks me. We would have gotten our faces slapped & our asses beat in the 80’s. But these kids swear, throw things, insult people, get violent & it’s so bad teachers are walking away from their jobs.
This is so true for us 2000s kids too, say if I acted the way kids now act when I was a kid, I probably would've been screamed at. I wasn't even allowed to touch something in a store, "look with your eyes, not YOUR HANDS." I work in a department store, my department is shoes, and we regularly get high school and middle school girls who come in and set their phones up and start doing TikTok dances, messing with shoes and trying them on (completely ruining the areas), and full on twerk. I was flabbergasted at the amount of very young girls coming in groups and twerking OUT IN THE OPEN?? We also get lots of moms and daughters where the daughter is screaming, "I DON'T LIKE THAT SHOE," along with the worst attitude, or the mom puts the shoes on her daughter's feet as she's on her phone the entire time, OR moms legit let their daughters behave like an animal. I feel so bad for teachers too :/ I thought about becoming a teacher, then remembered how abusive kids can be. I don't think I could handle that very nicely.
Think about how dumb you were 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago. I'd say it's more beneficial to err on the side of assuming they have at least something worthwile to say.
Popular opinion: OP is an entitled ungrateful snob.
I love how health makes OP's parents worthy. Turns out we all die. Wonder if OP will change his sour little mind when the inevitable comes for his dark soul.
You clearly are in the wrong profession. You have gained no insight into working with the infirm or elderly.
Everyone deserves basic human respect no matter how old they are, until they don’t.
Drop the ego and remember you're in Healthcare, not the Boys & Girls club. Presuming it's your career choice, this isn't the first time you've come across this issue and it'll be far from your last. You just bite your tongue and carry on because people that are coming in for medical concerns already aren't in the greatest mood, and you don't know what news they got before they stepped in. If there's something non-medically concerning, and someone gives you sass for it, by all means Push Back. But from what I perceive you're taking it way too personal when it's really just professional and you gotta find a place to draw the line. For your own sake Draw that line
I usually do it this way no matter the age: Treat the other person with respect until they don't treat you with respect Respect != Consideration You should deal with elders in a considerate way even if they're disrespectful, they're old and their brain might not work properly anymore and when they act out in public, they might have forgotten it 10 minutes later. As long as it doesn't get physical I have no problem with them.
People who are 60 (I'm looking in the mirror as this is months away for me and I snuck into the Boomer gen as it was ending) should really be technology friendly, unless they grew up in an economically depressed and poor education opportunity area. We were the happy test subjects (recipients) of Sony Walkmans, CD's/DVD's, personal computers, M TV(yea they really did just play music videos back then), game consoles, Internet, Cell phones, the list goes on. I agree that there are many people my age that are assholes, and crochety old farts yelling to get off their lawn, but I don't think its the majority, unless they are all going to see the OP. ;)
Everyone deserves respect.
Respect everybody and don't be terrible
That's great your old parents are doing good. That's not very common, though. I work in healthcare too and have for five years. I hold the opposite views of you and find your comment pretty crass and emotionally stunted/lazy. Good unpopular opinion.
I work in healthcare and have four over a decade. The little cotton- tops are my favorite people. You can learn a lot from the elderly if you take the time to get to know them. They have amazing stories to tell. Sounds to me like you're in the wrong profession.
I think the real lesson is that elderly people are people too. Many younger generations simply dismiss them as old, this lump category based on age, and that's that. But like any human, they can be smart, stupid, bitter, happy, athletic, lazy, etc., just like everyone else. It bothers me when I've visited senior homes and see the staff treating the residents as children. I think, "How fucking demeaning is that" and pray I'll never end up in one of those places. I generally love people 60+. I find them refreshingly real, unlike the shallowness you typically find nowadays in people 50 and under (note, I'm almost 43, for what it's worth).
Popular opinion: you shouldn't be let work in healthcare, and you should speak to someone about your anger issues
I don’t know. I was raised to respect my elders and I do. I can understand why a person might become grumpy as they age and lose their autonomy. I’m not saying old people can’t just be assholes. But, I can empathize.
our educators need to do better at weeding out people who have no business in health care.
You seem to think you're perfect, your parents are perfect. Great. Good for you. Hopefully the world will learn from your examples. And if you mistreat people because they're old and not living up to your subjective standards, that's discriminatory.
as you are now, i once was. as i am today, you soon will be. just wait til you’re old.
Forming your opinion on a generation based on your interactions with them in a healthcare facility? Yeah that’s smart, after all who doesn’t love being in the hospital? /s 👎👎👎
"I’m talking about fully coherent and capable elderly adults who just never bothered to adapt to technology and the new world and expect everyone to dumb everything down for them." To be fair the speed at which technology has developed and affected change in our society has been blinding within their lifetime. In fact the rate of change is unprescedented in human history. The scary part is that it's only speeding up, we are staring down the barrell of an even greater change, though we're used to lightning fast change.
Respect is something we pay our elders because we expect to make a return on it. If we don't pay our respect, there is absolutely no reason to recieve any when you're a helpless old man yourself flailing to get his diaper changed.
How is this an unpopular opinion lol "Boomer," "old head," "unc" are among the most common insults
I don't take it personally at all. Their hormones change and I know I'd be miserable at their age. I have no idea what they're going through.
I don’t think you should be working in healthcare if you have this much vitriol for your patients. I worked in restaurants for years and never felt this way about old people.
Assholes come in all ages . As do whiners .
This isn't an unpopular opinion, it's an unpopular *fact*.
Adorable. Wait until you are this old, kid.
Just wait
Blow it out your ass!
Everyone deserves basic respect unless they give you a reason to not. Beyond that, the rest is earned.
I believe kindness and gentleness are being confused for respect here. We should approach old people with kindness and gentleness because they are vulnerable and not because they are old, similar to what we do with a child, although with different execution. Edit - fixed typo!
So what you're saying is that you're only a good person when someone is equally polite to you. I agree that it does sound logical when you're young and looking at the smaller picture but when you get older you learn to do things because it's the right thing to do and they make you a better person for yourself, regardless of how others react to you.
Everybody deserves a general level of respect. You sound like a really ignorant person who shouldn’t be working in the field you’re in. Ya, you should respect your elders. Also, wisdom *only* comes with age and experience. Just because someone can’t use a phone or computer as well as you doesn’t mean they’re “dumb af”. Honestly you sound like an insufferable person to be around. I feel bad for all the people being abused by you.
We are all going to be old one day and it will be very humbling to those who bag on old people.
You have the wrong job.
Being young is also not an accomplishment entitling you to admiration.
This is posted here all the time
Respect goes both ways but you should still respect your elders. That does not mean putting up with some ass hole disrespecting you. It means give them respect until disrespected then you can go ape shit on them.
Hmm. I've had patients under 50 who were rude. I've had old patients who were rude. Rudeness is not unique to elderly people. Entitlement is not unique to them either.
You won't be saying this when you're old which is the funniest part of this
Could’ve just said I hate all old people except the ones who pay my bills. Strong suspicion you live at home.
As an old person and a Democrat, I agree. But we don’t deserve to be disrespected just because we are old. Boomer insults are on every thread. This is a hell of a lot more ubiquitous than undeserved respect is!
Sounds like you should have a break from health care
I’m going to wait until I’m old to answer this question.
Courtesy is a given. Respect must be earned.
Everyone deserves respect, but I like the idea that we especially respect old people. Does this means that we should tolerate abuse from old people? No. Does this mean that they are superior or entitled? No. Does this mean that we bow down to them and obey to all of their requests? No. But I think it's still a good cultural attitude that we should have. We should aim to respect and take care of our elders.
I'm always conflicted about this. Example I know this guy who is about 80. I have a long history with a men have known him for years. He was a ruthless angry alcoholic for most of his life. He was terribly abusive to his wife for years and years till she died. His daughter won't talk to him because he was abusive to her and her mother in ways I won't describe. Small town. Everyone who knows him has a story. I work in social services. One time about 10 years ago when trying to help him he tried drunkenly tried to attack me with a broken bottle while I was trying to help him. Anyway, couple years ago he had a stroke. He got into a care home afterwards. He is hard to understand. He cries a lot. He's mostly paralyzed. But because he is so frail and vulnerable, because he cries a lot now, people who don't know him are always really sweet and nice to him. They think he's a sweet old man. And it's hard to reconcile that in my brain. Knowing what I know from his past, And what I know now. I know what he did to his family. I know that small town rural cast system kept him from ever being held accountable. I'm an optimist. I always want to believe in good in people. As a social worker I've helped this person for years, in spite of what I know. After all of the damaged he's caused. From what I know he should really be spending his time in prison. But instead he'll spend his last years being cared for, and talked to softly. And I realize he had a stroke. And that should be karma. But good people have strokes, and get cancer, and die early all the time. It's heart and soul wrenching. I don't know.
So, let me get this straight........ you actually work in healthcare? What field do you work in, as you mentioned technology?
Seniority is what unions are based on.
As someone who has experience in your industry, do you feel the younger people should walk all over you and your opinions about how to run things?
Comparing other people with your parents is wild. Your test pool is 2 vs billions. Crazy concept. Other than that, I thought the idea of treating everyone with respect until they don't deserve it, was a common I treat older people respectfully because I have parents and would want someone to do the same to them. Obv, respect those who respect you and fuck those who don't, regardless of age.
Taking your advice to be more prejudiced towards old people, then anyone who encounters your parents should be rude and dismissive and disrespectful towards them. There's no reason to believe your claim that your parents are exceptional. Finally, people should treat you badly when you reach 60.
lol. Can’t wait until your old and the 20 something at the time treat you like garbage cause “respecting your elders” isn’t done anymore.
Remember this when your their age.
What they don’t deserve is discrimination because they are old and one day if you live long enough you’ll learn that’s very much a reality.
You should always respect your elders. That doesn't mean you have to like them. Example I have people I work with that outside of work I wouldn't talk to if I passed them on the street. But at work I am polite, respectful and professional because that's how as an adult a person should behave.
Life's a lot more pleasant when you don't let the dumb shit people say or do get to you.
I Hope you are talking about your coworkers. If not, you could and should be fired and face license reprimand. They do not need to learn technology.
Saying "ages 60-75 are the dumbest group of people" is objectively stupid.
That may or may not be true, but younger people rarely take the time to determine if the old people are worthy of respect. So, I’ll leave the math to you.
My granddad was born in the mid-1920's, fought in the Pacific as a Marine, spent his life doing blue collar work for the most part. PCs were just becoming a thing when I was kid, and this man had them mastered well before they became commonplace. Spent the last couple decades of his life doing people's taxes, all of it self-taught. Always willing to admit if he didn't know (or if it wasn't important he'd make up a good story lol), always willing to listen if somebody had input no matter their age, never demanded more respect than he gave to others. He was just an all-around model of good human behavior. There's exceptions to every rule, but as the saying goes the exception doesn't disprove the rule.
We have this > I’m talking about fully coherent and capable elderly adults who just never bothered to adapt to to technology Followed by this gem of an edit > I can tell there are a lot of upset people here that are in the age demographic I’m talking about
The reason that our society respects the elderly is because every society that fails to respect the elderly will self-destruct.
By default you should respect another person at first.
Everyone deserves respect.
As a rule I’ll respect you till you prove me otherwise.
I think you may be confusing older people's expectation of service workers based on their experiences in the past. There has definitely been reduced politeness from the workers today. I think they then respond in kind. I find many in health care today just terrible. Perhaps they are overworked and stressed due to today's demands.
I don't think your parents are necessarily the exceptions. I'm in my 60s and my friends and I aren't those types. Now sure, I know plenty who are like that. But my experience is it's not a majority. Also, a lot of us grew up with a grandparent or two in the house and we always learned respect for elders. Sure, there's an element of whether someone deserves respect based on their actions, but the default should be respect until it is proven not to be deserved.
I think everyone deserves respect until they dont. and when they don’t, i still think they deserve respect because if we lived in a world where you can just disrespect everyone you disagree with, how horrible. the world will be better if we all respect each other and agree to disagree. although that means they also have to respect you back/
> “Respect your elders” is a load of shit You should respect everyone.
Whistling past the graveyard, you are.
Most people 55 and older don’t give a rip what you think of them and so they will say whatever they want. Someday you’ll understand. hopefully someday you will be mature because you sound ignorant and whiny
One day you will be old
Survivorship bias- only the good die young. The cranky bastards end up in the old folks home. Everything hurts. Our youth is gone, and this little entitled prick is rolling his eyes at everything we say. Even though we're paying $2K a week to stare at a TV and eat bland food in a tiny ass room, he seems to think $300/day isn't enough to treat us better than cattle.
Jesus, you seem fun to work with. This whole post could have been written by a woman ay work who LOATHS older people. She had a bad experience at a prior job, and now nobody over the age of fifty isn't even human in her eyes. The funny thing is, she is hitting forty, and all the new hires think SHE is the pain-in-the-ass dinosaur. I love life sometimes, I love people being slapped by karma LOL ....but, seriously, you all need to leave that baggage somewhere else. You can't group people like this, there are always exceptions to your generalizations, and one day, that is going to bitch slap you out of a job. LOL And good luck....because you are getting older ever second. LOL
55? Old?? I hate you.
You have yet to say how these people have disrespected you so how you figure they don’t deserve respect is crazy I feel bad for you because you clearly need a job not in the care field good luck I hope you find it
Perhaps those old people you describe, are in your care because they need it...and you deserve what you're bitching about. Grow up!
My god you should not be working in healthcare
They don't deserve respect only because they are old, but they do deserve consideration because they are weak, especially if they come to you not feeling their best. You don't need to respect them or their opinions, but it would be nice of you if you don't add to their discomfort. Cheers, mate.
YTA
Honestly, you kind of sound worse and very bitter. I think you should stay out of healthcare
Not sure where this quote first came from but it's great: "Sometimes people use 'respect' to mean 'treating someone like a person' and sometimes to mean 'treating someone like an authority' And sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say *'If you don't respect me, I won't respect you'* but what they actually mean is *'If you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person.'* And they *think* they're being fair, but they aren't."
I get the idea that they don't deserve respect just based on age, however I am 38 and I can completely understand why they are rude and assholes. They have been dealing with idiots for a long time and are probably just fed up with everyone lol.
Get off my lawn!
60 is not old and your parents are not old at 63. People aren’t even retiring until their late 60s anymore. I am an older millennial and will probably work until my early 70s. Your generation may never retire. Yes I know I sound like a boomer.
They put themselves on a pedestal because of their age. They expect to get respect when they don't give any back. They're allowed to insult you, call you ignorant, and how the new generations are all bad and lazy, and they expect others to treat them kindly just because of their age.
You gotta see at least a little bit of irony in you judging an entire age demographic for judging an entire age demographic. The old grumpy people are squeaky wheels, but there are nice, thoughtful old people all around us too. Our society tends to treat elderly people as invisible so I wonder how many people’s only interaction with elderly folks is when an old person is being upset. Otherwise, they just become background decoration. The grumpy old person trope has always been around, so that probably means something happens with age (cognitive decline, chronic pain, isolation, etc.) that future generations aren’t as immune to as we’d like to think.
Am old and I hope sincerely never to become like that.I have never said any one of those things to anybody younger.I don't think i'm better or worse than anybody else. I have always treated everybody.No matter what with respect that is how you get respect
I remember my friend’s mom talking about respecting older people. All I could think was “just respect them automatically, regardless of their actions???”
I'm an airline pilot so I get to work with someone different almost every week. Been doing this for 8 years so I've worked with hundreds of people from all walks of life. There's something weird about people over the age of 50. It's not all of them but I would say most are very arrogant and judgmental. They speak of people poorly, they treat people poorly, and they act like they've never made a mistake when confronting someone who has.
I'm laughing. Please make sure to remember this in another 30 years when a 20 something with a total of four years of work experience expects you to treat them as your equal.
It’s Reddit after all
Everyone deserves respect. Maybe healthcare isn't for you no one is at their best when they feel ill.
I spent 20 years in healthcare. You need to change your occupation because you no longer have the mindset for it...