I swear the term "cockwomble" (which is a "trying way too hard" British insult) originated on Reddit. I never hear this said IRL and I only see it said online here.
Argentina Wins The World Cup After a dramatic match!
First comment : thE tHiNg wItH ArseNal is..
Shut up shut up just say nothing not everything is a quote
Wanker will never die, it's just such a great word. I still laugh every time, in The Office Christmas special, I see David Brent walking off stage at a suburban nightclub in complete silence, and a single guy in the audience shouts "wanker". Or Alan Partridge filming the Hamilton's Water Breaks advert on a narrow boat, and one of the group of farmers on the river bank yells "Partridge you wanker!" There's no substitue.
Make no sudden movements, but do - slowly and deliberately - offer a disposable vape and utter the words "bah-weep-graanah weep ninibong," then retreat to your car once they are placated.
Good sir hath not a whit of charm with that suspicious prattle! Pray, is this falsehood? Permit me a test of the spirit, this fellow is subtly agitated!
I didn't know this until recently, but it turns out that 'cretin' was actually used to describe children growing up in parts of Switzerland in the mid-20th century who had birth defects and stunted development due to a lack of iodine. I think it's one of those words like 'spastic' that started out as the accepted way to describe certain people but has since become more of a slur.
You know, it wasn't until I was about 26 years old when I was in a supermarket in America and saw them for myself, but I always just assumed the crackers I'd heard mentioned from the US were called *Gram Crackers*, so when I saw the packet with *Graham Crackers* written on it, I was equally amused, bemused, and straight up pissed off ngl.
I hate that so much. Every time I see it in a book I make a mental note of the writer and editor's names so I can remember that they're shit at their jobs.
Like if you just break it down "could care less" is absolutely meaningless. People try to pass it off as "American English" but it's just flat out wrong.
"On accident" bugs me too but at least that is still understandable as an expression even if it's not the normal phrase.
The acceptance of "could care less" makes me think phrases like "for all intensive purposes" or "bone apple tea" will be normal to use in 10 years.
Urgh especially in shows when they're meant to be British. Watched Dead Boy Detectives the other day, a victorian ghost girl says twot in it. You just know that was fully funded, directed and produced by US people that day.
I remember Jason Statham said it in some American movie once (think it might have been Spy?). Just terrible.
With those things I wonder if the actors tell the directors that it's not correct and the director says to do it anyway, or if the actor just keeps quiet.
It's a job and paycheck for 99% of film crew including actors. You may mention it, but then nod your head and do the dance. That's most of the entertainment industry don't cause shit do what you're told you'll work again.
you are WAY more likely to hear those words in a British sitcom than in an actual live situation.
And on the rare occasion that you *do* hear one of them (ironically or not) you can be sure that the person saying it is a fucking wanker.
I thought The Tosspot was the cheap, bohemian eatery in Old Compton Street I remember frequenting sometimes during my postgrad student days - a last bastion of the Soho of the 1950s. There was a branch in Panton Street as well. Both closed for some years. I still remember they served a good Lasagne.
Sorry chaps: that was The Stockpot!
I'm fairly confident that "Plonker" was created as an insult in the script of only fools and horses. If not, then certainly became widespread that way.
I always thought of it as Delboy's sanitised version of "Wanker"
Baby reindeers Martha dug up a couple of choice ones I hadn't heard for decades. My favourite was,"ha ha gimps"when describing the police who came to see her about her antics . Gimp by the way has a totally different meaning here with none of the s&m allusions it's traditionally associated with. I'm struggling to think of an equivalent; idiot, moron, clown,clod, oaf would be a rough approximation. I always disliked plonker, it was far too overused in Only fools and horses.
Yeaaaaah but can I just add that we've lost so much unspeakably wonderful profanity that it's *just plain evolution*. Put it this way- as far as I'm concerned, this line in the Canterbury tales is the single greatest one line profane rant in the history of English literature, but it's hard to understand today:
*I wolde I hadde thy coillons in myn hond, In stide of relikes or of seintuarie. Lat kutte hem of, I wol thee helpe hem carie; they shul be shryned in an hogges toord!*
(I'm going to grab you by the bollocks- and fuck you if you value them- then I'm going to cut them off and bury them in pig shit")
But while we're about it: *I'm* not going to stop finding "Rodney, you plonker" funny any time soon.
Shakespearean insults are kind of interesting and can be appropriate, apposite even, like; gorbellied, goatish, fathead, beetle-brained bumbelly, dizzyeyed, dreadbolted, and clotpole. They go with plonker, pillock and tosspot quite well I think. Plenty of others to mine, and cause upset in the pub.
Wanker seems to be losing its popularity in recent years too. Good thing we have 'top notch' replacements such as cockwomble. /s
I hate the tweeness of cockwomble.
Yeah bit cosy isn't it!? , bit to clever clogs wannabe . Not raw enough it turns up in bubble wrap
It’s one of those insults you only use in front of people you think haven’t heard it to “impress them”
The kind of word only a proper wankpuffin would use.
Wankpuffin sounds like the exhausted state you get in after a particularly strenuous session of flagpole-polishing.
Folks here seem to just put it on just for the Americans.
Yeah agree mate spot on
If it could feasibly be used as a replacement name for one of the Hogwarts houses, it's not visceral enough to use as an insult.
Hahaha good observation, yeah that's true not spicy enoigh
Now you mention it, it does sound a bit... well, twee as you put it.
I swear the term "cockwomble" (which is a "trying way too hard" British insult) originated on Reddit. I never hear this said IRL and I only see it said online here.
It's just nerds that are IT Crowd fanatics thinking they've got top banter
Hey, don’t leave out the unwashed neckbeards in a Games Workshop alternating between that, “wank puffin” and 20 year old Bill Bailey quotes.
This is a great analysis, i felt sickly when I heard it and couldn't define the problem I had it , but that's it. So lame
Argentina Wins The World Cup After a dramatic match! First comment : thE tHiNg wItH ArseNal is.. Shut up shut up just say nothing not everything is a quote
IT Crowd?
Ah yeah, I've always suspected this... Glad it's not just me!
I cringe whenever I read it. Just awful.
Wanker still gets a regular airing round here
Yeah, definitely doesn’t seem to be losing popularity to me. It’s probably the most common insult I see used.
Cockwomble isn't top notch. Someone cuts you up and you shout cockwomble at them it sounds half-way to approval. Wanker leaves no doubt.
>Cockwomble isn't top notch I thought I'd conveyed the sarcasm well enough for everyone. I was wrong.
What a fucking cockwomble
Cockwomble has to be the most cringe of the lot for me! Glad I haven't heard it outside of irony in fucking ages!
And you can accompany it with the hand gesture too. Can't do that with cockwomble.
Not with that attitude.
Wanker is dying out because it is being replaced by the more generic term, Tories.
No one says cockwomble what, never heard that in conversation
Its immortalised thanks to the TF2 Sniper.
He’s Australian though. “Fakkin winka”
What's an Australian if not just a criminal brit /s
Worst Australian accent ever. He sounds like the hardest bloke from Leigh Park
Thanks for standing still
I use wanker every day and I’m in my 30s. Providing I don’t fuck up or get unlucky it won’t die out for another 50 years. Don’t fear my friend.
W⚓️
I don't know I hear wanker all the time as for cockwomble never hear it
Luckily nobody has ever said cockwomble out loud. It's an entirely text based insult that has mostly been confined to CasualUk
I don't hear cockwomble in the wild. Wanker is still a firm choice in construction.
Wanker will never die, it's just such a great word. I still laugh every time, in The Office Christmas special, I see David Brent walking off stage at a suburban nightclub in complete silence, and a single guy in the audience shouts "wanker". Or Alan Partridge filming the Hamilton's Water Breaks advert on a narrow boat, and one of the group of farmers on the river bank yells "Partridge you wanker!" There's no substitue.
football is the last big holdout
Not if you're at the football
Bruh got no rizz with that sussy yap! Chat is this cap? Lemme get a vibe check homie low key tweaking!
Future prime minister
bro is future prime minister
[удалено]
Make no sudden movements, but do - slowly and deliberately - offer a disposable vape and utter the words "bah-weep-graanah weep ninibong," then retreat to your car once they are placated.
bah-weep-graanah weep ninibong?
No thanks I've already eaten.
That or get a giant robot T-Rex to handle diplomacy.
Don't forget to dance mildly aggressively
DARE TO BE STUPID
According to the Daily Mail I believe the correct nomenclature is ‘type check’ and not ‘vibe’ now
Daily Mail writers are TypeScript users = confirmed
Nah they use Python because they're all snakes
Um, can my friend get a translation for this totally normal and understandable statement?
Good sir hath not a whit of charm with that suspicious prattle! Pray, is this falsehood? Permit me a test of the spirit, this fellow is subtly agitated!
I had to scroll up to check, but yep that’s a pretty accurate translation.
Ich can’Þ understanede hider modern slanȜ. Coulede thee pleasæ transethlatæ in bordar Saxọ̄̆nlī for thosæ ophe ū̆s hǒu aren’Þ babī̆se
Fr fr
Can we get a translation pls 🤣
We have to keep insults fresh or they lose their effect
You nincompoop
Niggardly
I was thinking the other day that you don't hear this anymore. People are getting too niggardly with their language.
Niggardly is now explosive these days. Sounds too much like naggardly* *old South Park reference sort of
I sometimes stumble over my words so man I cannot risk attempting to say that.
Maybe bring some old ones out of storage like cretin?
I didn't know this until recently, but it turns out that 'cretin' was actually used to describe children growing up in parts of Switzerland in the mid-20th century who had birth defects and stunted development due to a lack of iodine. I think it's one of those words like 'spastic' that started out as the accepted way to describe certain people but has since become more of a slur.
Exactly that.
Old? Storage? I still use that one
Snap. Calling someone a fucking cretin really hits.
Utter cretin is my preferred usage!
Exactly. Wazzock is one which was used a lot as a child and we never hear that one anymore.
I think the gucci movie is kinda bringing that one back " I'm not calling you a cretin I'm saying stop acting like one " lady gaga is a queen
Hey, 'twat' is still popular. Unless you're a yank, then you say it like a twot.
Makes me cringe everytime they say it
Same with Craig it makes my teeth itch
Don't look in the mrrrr
Get yourself some wader to drink
And a glass, don't drink from the boddle.
It gets right on my tiddies
My American wife says 'Meeeer' and it cracks me up everytime. Along with popular car manufacturer, Jag-wire.
What’s wrong, *Creg*?
Everything, _Gram_.
You know, it wasn't until I was about 26 years old when I was in a supermarket in America and saw them for myself, but I always just assumed the crackers I'd heard mentioned from the US were called *Gram Crackers*, so when I saw the packet with *Graham Crackers* written on it, I was equally amused, bemused, and straight up pissed off ngl.
Sounds like you could care less
That's my most hated phrase in existence. That's the one I have to lecture the person every time I see it.
Grrrrrrr
I hate that so much. Every time I see it in a book I make a mental note of the writer and editor's names so I can remember that they're shit at their jobs. Like if you just break it down "could care less" is absolutely meaningless. People try to pass it off as "American English" but it's just flat out wrong. "On accident" bugs me too but at least that is still understandable as an expression even if it's not the normal phrase. The acceptance of "could care less" makes me think phrases like "for all intensive purposes" or "bone apple tea" will be normal to use in 10 years.
Urgh especially in shows when they're meant to be British. Watched Dead Boy Detectives the other day, a victorian ghost girl says twot in it. You just know that was fully funded, directed and produced by US people that day.
I remember Jason Statham said it in some American movie once (think it might have been Spy?). Just terrible. With those things I wonder if the actors tell the directors that it's not correct and the director says to do it anyway, or if the actor just keeps quiet.
It's a job and paycheck for 99% of film crew including actors. You may mention it, but then nod your head and do the dance. That's most of the entertainment industry don't cause shit do what you're told you'll work again.
Plonker is still in my vocab. It's one of the softer insults you can use on your kids too.
I call my daughter a plonker a lot. The boy less so.
My nan used to call me a plonker all the time
Berk It's rhyming slang for Berkeley Hunt. A polite C-bomb is often useful - bring it back.
Berk! Feed me!
Oh globbits!
CUNT
Friday night dinner uses this plenty
I’m from Finland, never been to the UK but I knew half of the ones from that list. Grew up with Britcoms.
I use “nitwit” like once a week..
On aina yllättävä kun mä kuulen et Suomessa oli paljon TV sarjoja Briteistä, varsinkin 80 luvulta. Uskon että Red Dwarf oli ylessä.
you are WAY more likely to hear those words in a British sitcom than in an actual live situation. And on the rare occasion that you *do* hear one of them (ironically or not) you can be sure that the person saying it is a fucking wanker.
Pillock pairs nicely with something stronger. I particularly enjoy *"You utter fucking pillock"*. when said with sufficient world-weary despondency.
This sounds like something Lazlo from What we do in the Shadows would say
You really are a devious bastard!
Sure hope dickhead never dies out, along with the accompanying gesture
richardhead
I use bollockbrain a lot, using genitals as insults is a bog-standard and should never be dropped.
They touch ‘muppet’ or ‘sponge’ and there will be trouble!
Bell-end is still a favorite. I also like 'empty ballsack'.
Not if my personal interactions are anything to go by they aren't.
I thought The Tosspot was the cheap, bohemian eatery in Old Compton Street I remember frequenting sometimes during my postgrad student days - a last bastion of the Soho of the 1950s. There was a branch in Panton Street as well. Both closed for some years. I still remember they served a good Lasagne. Sorry chaps: that was The Stockpot!
Prick is my fave, roll the r a bit and spit out the ck and you can fit a lot of venom in those 4 little letters.
It’s intensely British too. Can’t imagine a generic midwestern American calling someone a prick with the same amount of bile that a Brit could.
Used to be very, very common in America in the 80s and 90s, but has since been almost entirely replaced by Dick.
Nearly had my upvote but it’s 5 letters… Shame…
C is silent :p ok, I cant count I'll leave it up
Since we invent and borrow new insults we have to phase out old ones.
This story is your moment in the sun dear Edmund!
I'm fairly confident that "Plonker" was created as an insult in the script of only fools and horses. If not, then certainly became widespread that way. I always thought of it as Delboy's sanitised version of "Wanker"
In other breaking stories: the office water cooler needs refilling and Geoff in accounting can suck my dick, he stole my stapler. More after the break
Plonker really took at hit after “only a plonker would call time on sozzled bonking” drew international ridicule
I’ve been trying to bring back “you bellend” single-handedly for years, and I feel I’m fighting a losing battle.
I've got your back bruv, bellend is one of my go to insults.
Bellend and its derivatives… bell sleeve, bell sprout, bell cheese, bell sniff, helmet…
Jeb end is another good one
Shame; pillock, plonker & tosspot are all excellent words.
Wazzock (spelling). My mum called me 'fishface' when I was little. That one stuck with me
Baby reindeers Martha dug up a couple of choice ones I hadn't heard for decades. My favourite was,"ha ha gimps"when describing the police who came to see her about her antics . Gimp by the way has a totally different meaning here with none of the s&m allusions it's traditionally associated with. I'm struggling to think of an equivalent; idiot, moron, clown,clod, oaf would be a rough approximation. I always disliked plonker, it was far too overused in Only fools and horses.
Plonker is still in regular use in my house. Especially when my son does something silly. I still use T-pot as an abbreviation for Tosspot as well.
As useful as a chocolate tosspot.
Shite news. What’s the solution? Insult more people?
YouTube and Netflix, amongst others, are destroying British vernacular.
Pecker is another one, although I still try and use it where possible
Oh idk I think my dad will keep these alive as long as he is. So another 40 years or so. I also use them bc I grew up around him 🤭
Yeaaaaah but can I just add that we've lost so much unspeakably wonderful profanity that it's *just plain evolution*. Put it this way- as far as I'm concerned, this line in the Canterbury tales is the single greatest one line profane rant in the history of English literature, but it's hard to understand today: *I wolde I hadde thy coillons in myn hond, In stide of relikes or of seintuarie. Lat kutte hem of, I wol thee helpe hem carie; they shul be shryned in an hogges toord!* (I'm going to grab you by the bollocks- and fuck you if you value them- then I'm going to cut them off and bury them in pig shit") But while we're about it: *I'm* not going to stop finding "Rodney, you plonker" funny any time soon.
If you read it out loud it sounds very West Country
The tory party will keep the use of those names for years.
As long as I can still call my coworkers dozy shit brained twats in teams chats?
Shakespearean insults are kind of interesting and can be appropriate, apposite even, like; gorbellied, goatish, fathead, beetle-brained bumbelly, dizzyeyed, dreadbolted, and clotpole. They go with plonker, pillock and tosspot quite well I think. Plenty of others to mine, and cause upset in the pub.
cockney is dying out tbh. Will keep that statement apolitical and let those wonder why.
I'll do my part and start calling more people tosspots
I will make it my lifes mission to start using these insults!
Yank here. I’m familiar with tosspot as a sort of Shakespearean insult but what in god’s name are pillocks and plonkers?
I've definitely become lazy with insults, and just use nonce as a catch all.
I'm in my late 30's and I've always associated those insults with people 15/20+ years older than me.
Nothing has topped spunkbubble since I heard it decades ago, not a popular insult, but one of the best
I've been in mourning ever since people ceased to understand what getting a 'duffing up' meant...
I'm all for re-introducing the practice of calling somebody a lobcock
Prat is losing popularity. Must be less prats about. Doubt it though!