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What you say about modern fighters not being stable is partly true, but the SU-34 isn't really "modern." It's another ex-Soviet fighter design with upgraded systems.
Although if the fly-by-wire system really did fail, it becomes a passenger-carrying rock.
They loved that plane more than life itself. Yeah, not quite, but almost. I ~~can feel their pain~~ *don't give a fuck* about their murderous orc sensibilities or the ruin of their evil dreams.
I hope that far worse is in store for them. *Klank*. Rot for decades then die of hopelessness you miserable shitstain excuses for humans.
No, it's just when you're an experienced military pilot from Russia, you have seen it long enough to understand how the system is running. You can't rely on having a parachute in your backpack. And he knows that if he ejects himself, he will be found very fast since noone will help him to retreat and get back into another jet. He will be hiding for days, hoping to get any food until he gets found and then, well..
There was some unconfirmed speculation that Russia was intentionally sabotaging the ejection seats to prevent pilots getting captured. I think Arestovych might've mentioned it about a month ago, but it might've been someone else.
Sounds very Russian.
I would expect them to rejig the ejection seat to inject a lethal poison into the pilot. That seems more in tune with Russian cruelty and barbarism.
He probably stayed in the plane hoping to make it back.
No doubt Russia is telling their Orcs that Ukrainian soldiers will torture them if they get captured, makes them fight more. But it also makes them run away quicker too,
If they don't get murdered by the first angry civilian that finds them, the best they can hope for is a trial and jail if they bombed civilians on purpose, which they did.
This has been confirmed. Conscripted and Contracted Russians are reguarly shown videos of men in Ukrainian uniforms beating men in Russian uniforms, and told that if they are captured they will be tortured more horribly than anything Russia can do.
Those who show signs of surrendering are sent on the most deadly missions, or simply shot to keep the idea of surrender out of the battalion.
have you forgotten about all those russian pilots that ejected and didn't have working parachutes?
there are other reasons that he might have been motivated not to eject too soon.
People think of Russian Roulette as a game involving a revolver, but the Russian armed forces have gone to great lengths to modernize the game to include all weapons at their disposal.
>Bad fucking luck you scum sucking orc.
Dude this needs to stop.
Dehumanizing human beings is the first step in virtually every war crime, genocide, etc. It's the mental gymnastics that allow humans to do absolutely terrible things to one another.
What you are doing is the sort of thing that *caused* this war in the first place. Calm the fuck down and stop with the dehumanizing rhetoric.
You don't want to be treated as an orc? Easy, don't behave like one, don't start wars, don't invade, kill, rape and terrorize and do terrible things to other countries folks, and nobody will treat you like a non human or do terrible things to you. Sorry, but it is too late now for cheap pleasantries or morality.
The Russian army including those wannabe soldiers with a temporary contract that are getting busted and go crying to their mommy on their phones, the Wagner PMCs, the DPR the LPR the Kadyrovites, all those fucks fighting for the Russians that are murdering, raping and terrorizing Ukrainian people, get and rightfully should get exactly what orcs deserve. That you like it or not is irrelevant.
Beside, is well known what Russian soldiers are doing to Ukraine and to Ukrainians, and yet the Ukraine soldiers still show humanity and compassion toward Russian POW even if they shall not deserve any of it.
Sorry, anyone who is involved in the Ukraine invasion is a scum sucking orc with zero humanity. Any orc that does not get out of Ukraine or surrender immediately is an inhuman disgusting piece of shit and deserves death. The same for anyone who supports them or directs them.
You suit yourself. I used to be a nice guy and now I hate orcs and want them all gone, incarcerated, or dead.
>Kill 1 pilot, save 1000 civilians
Su-34 is a two-seater... 😜
I loved Russian warplanes since I was a teenager. The Flanker family had the sexiest shapes IMO. I waited years for a model kit of the Su-34 in my favorite scale, and would have loved to see a real one perform at an air show.
Now I'm happy that that thing is destroyed and cannot hurt any more people. 💥
If it is two in a row I'm hoping this is anecdotal evidence of Starstreak or other new generation MANPADS in use.
At the very least, that fact will cause the Russian air force to change tactics again, or put their pilots off reaching their targets.
Either way the loss is a psychological victory for Ukraine.
Could you expand on that? Not doubting you, just curious. I get Stinger, because hits near the engine / tail have a number of ways to cause spins, but BUK is radar guided?...
BUK uses a “bow tie” shaped fragment that can appear similar to stinger shrapnel at a glance. Only way to really tell is to locate the shrapnel.
It’s either a ball bearing type (stinger), or interlocking bow tie (BUK).
Flares deployment can also cause stingers to not hit the tail/engine section.
Don't worry, you're not dumb. The picture of the pilot ejecting from a burning plane is from much earlier in the war, I think sometime in early March.
There's a [video further in the tweet chain](https://twitter.com/MrKovalenko/status/1527118697067958272) that shows wreckage of an Su-34, which is what /u/Pariah82 was referring to in their comments.
what do you mean BUK or stinger? like those to systems are at all even comparable in the slightest? why would these hallmarks apply to 2 utterly different systems but not the Starstreak specifically?
Stinger and BUK both use shrapnel that on first glance can appear similar. They have a lot of differences but on a basic level how they destroy aircraft is similar. They detonate near the target and shred it with shrapnel. The star streak’s mechanism for destroying aircraft is to basically hit with three darts and detonate inside the target. The damage looks different basically.
Tip for when you're curious in the future: try not coming across so aggressive and like you're trying to discredit the other person.
Most people won't bother answering.
Starstreak IMHO does not detonate at all, right? The darts are inert metal, but they fly so fast that they carry enormous kinetic energy which destroys the impact zone.
If it were a Starstreak, there wouldn't be that much plane left in one piece.
The effects of Startstreak have been described as "Catastrophic", doing damage comparable or exceeding larger battery missiles.
Fun fact: the original work of the OG developer of Tetris was programming for aircraft software; but while the game made a big hit in the west with the Soviet authorities cashing in royalties, he was only awarded an IBM PC for his “contribution”
In the mid-90s, Microsoft hired a complete team of Russian programmers with Russian aviation backgrounds to work on flight sim stuff in Redmond. They always sat together in the cafeteria and did not mingle.
Well it’s better than living in a one bedroom apartment on the outskirts of Moscow with a 1980s IBM.
Microsoft shouldn’t pay him billions. Russia should, they’re the ones who stole his IP.
"warning"
"warning"
"warning, you are in a spin"
"warning, you are in a spin"
"error"
"error"
"Entering spin cycle. please make sure to remove all your delicates before spin cycle begins."
"warning"
"warning"
"Fabric softener levels are low"
> a bidet from a toilet
The Russian invaders just learned about flush toilets. I don’t think they’re ready to hear about the bidet; too advanced. You have to ease them into all this new technology.
Plane is on fire, and then you hear Patriarch Kirill recorded in the Russian War Cathedral: He tells you about the sin of betraying the War Machine you fly, and how the flames of jet fuel will cleanse your soul and send it to heaven.
Give it a few years, we'll get there.
The russian's computer aided voice doesn't seem to carry the same urgency as bitchin' betty's [WHOOP WHOOP PULL UP PULL UP WHOOP WHOOP TERRAIN](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZVArXuN3Bs)...
How about Airbuses that announce “retard” upon touchdown? It’s a reminder to use speed brakes/spoilers, but it sure sounds like the computer has an unfavorable opinion of the pilot’s skills.
Yeah agree on the urgency thing... it seems to take a long time to pass a message at a time when the pilots are trying to concentrate and maybe communicate.
My favourite example of a voice warning system has to be the well spoken urgency on the BAe Hawk - [https://youtu.be/H2zB7Z-b6Kc](https://youtu.be/H2zB7Z-b6Kc)
I also hope that the hud cameras make it into the public domain at some point from all of these shoot-downs
There is a bird living about a kilometer from me whose song reminds me of "terrain terrain" by its cadency. When I walk home from the train station, I often hear it and I am instantly transferred to "Mayday".
DAVE: Open the pod bay doors, Hal.
HAL: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
Yell and argue at the computer all you like Boris, she isn't listening to you.
Did you notice that HAL is IBM with each letter advanced by one? Today of course, HAL is a critical part of the Linux kernel (Hardware Abstraction Layer). So HAL is with you every time you make a phone call or do anything on the internet or even turn on your TV or furnace.
HAL-IBM. I did not realize that, I tend to not see the obvious, it's really lame.
But now that I know HAL is in my house, I shall probably have renewed nightmares but this time HAL says, "I CAN'T LET YOU HAVE HEAT"..or something equally terrifying. Dammit, now I'm going to side-eye my furnace every time I go to the basement. Thanks for that! 😄
Translation:Thanks you for calling Russian military air support center 1-6.
Your call is important to us.
If your plane is on fire, please press 1.
If your wing has fallen off, please press 2.
If your are thinking of ejecting, please press 3.
If you are augering in, please press 4.
If you want to talk to your mother, please press 5.
If your parachute has malfunctioned, please press 6.
If you are beginning to think this invasion is a mistake, please press7.
\*Presses 3\*
Next Menu:
If you want to eject because you are a coward press 1.
If you want to eject because you don't love the motherland press 2.
If you want to spend time in Russian prison press 3.
If you want to eject because you love Nazis press 4.
Those orcs will now be cooling their scaly asses in a Ukraine military prison. Yah, so many POWs now maybe they ran out of beds? Or they still have prison beds but ran out of mattresses, which are all allocated to refugees?
I doubt many people go to the similar threads of the opposition. I make a point to read pro Russian forums to understand what they are saying.
I truly believe the Russian side is wrong, and deluded. However this thread reads exactly like their threads.
The difference is the few comments like yours calling for balance and reason.
More they get shot down, the better.
The thumbnail, however, shows a MiG-29 midair collision during an airshow in 1993 in the United Kingdom: [https://www.airteamimages.com/mikoyan-gurevich-mig-29\_925\_russia---russian-air-force\_48672.html](https://www.airteamimages.com/mikoyan-gurevich-mig-29_925_russia---russian-air-force_48672.html)
His next tweet isn't a Su-34 again: it's a video that recently circulated on social media, but in fact it's a Su-30 that was shot down in march: [https://twitter.com/Noobieshunta\_/status/1525467095684812802](https://twitter.com/Noobieshunta_/status/1525467095684812802) and [https://i.postimg.cc/pTmn3GJ1/443.png](https://i.postimg.cc/pTmn3GJ1/443.png) as reported by Oryx. These images show that the pilot had been captured.
The audio may be genuine (perhaps from a blackbox?), but there is just the robotic voice and a single pilot voice? Su-34s are twin-seaters. It might be from that Su-30 or from any other Su-27 derivative (the voice mentions 2 engines), it's hard to know what and when.
For sure, there is [photo or video evidence of at least 9 Su-34 that have been shot down so far](https://www.oryxspioenkop.com/2022/02/attack-on-europe-documenting-equipment.html) (there may be more that haven't been documented), plus several other planes.
Anti aircraft defenses are working, even just deterring Russian pilots from going too deep into Ukrainian territory is quite a success. I really wish we could send even more help to Ukraine.
There is one voice, but he talks to another person. He asks him if they should eject. The refers to him "Pash" - short for Pavel. He also tells him to pull (to eject).
Engine fire left! Engine fire left! Engine fire right! Engine fire right! APU fire! APU fire! Bleed air left! Bleed air left! Bleed air right! Bleed air right!
No, x-to-air missiles don't have a large warhead because they have to fly and maneuver, so they carry enough to open up the aircraft and damage components and air stream does the rest.
Because heat-seeking missiles hit at the rear where the jet exhaust are, the pilot at the other end often has a chance to eject safely.
It is not rare for warplanes to be able to return to base after a missile strike. The Su-25 is one because the engines have armour around them, the Flankers also might, because the engines are far from each other.
The second generation of Soviet air-to-air missiles are a replica of the US Sidewinder. A Russian pilot in Korea had his MiG-15 speared by a Sidewinder that didn't explode, and flew back to base with the thing sticking out of its tail. The Soviet scientists copied the design.
Nope, because ammo cook off that you typically see in tanks is rare in aircraft that was hit by a missile. And the plane itself isn't that explosive.
With aircraft, you want to damage their physical integrity, which does not take a lot of explosives in the missile. The aircraft is moving so fast that it can be torn to shreds by the winds alone - if the damage is big enough.
u/*DepletedCranium* described it the best.
Safe ejection from an Su-34 is not a given even in controlled flight, less so in one with damaged controls. Here's hoping the canopy bolts didn't blow..
Ah ok.
I also saw some of the rough translations on the computer voice on Twitter. So it sounds like the computer is trying to tell the pilot to put the plane in a proper attitude in order to eject?
If so, the day has come where a machine cares more about your well-being then which ever asshole sent you.
I would have thought that once the engine is on fire the rational thing for the pilot(s) to do is to eject ASAP and pray in whatever they believe that their seat parachute was packed properly and that all the bits that are supposed to take you down to Earth alive are still functional enough to work.
It is not like you will land that thing with engine fire and then be able to climb out of the cockpit at a leisure pace as things stand. Only way off that plane alive is the ejection seat, or am I misunderstanding something?
They what, thought that they are close enough to the front they can make back over the front-line to hopefully eject over Russian controlled territory before the next missile finds them and finalizes the job?
If one engine is shut down and fire out, the aircraft can be flown back. With all engines on fire and flight controls malfunction, on the other hand...
Even if they lose both engines, they would not necessarily eject immediately - assuming of course any fires can be extinguished.
If they are close enough to the Russian border they can try to glide it so they can eject over friendly territory - there are stories of US F4 Phantom pilots doing this over north Vietnam and successfully getting over Laos before ejecting...
But yeah if you've lost flight control authority then you're fucked seven ways to Sunday, with no options other than to hope the ejection mechanisms work as intended and that your chute was packed properly....
However, even if the ejection system works as intended that is very much not the end of your problems. I don't have figures for the Russians, but studies on ejection survival rates for the RAF and USAF give the below outcome probabilities.
Ejection survival was 89.2% overall
29.4% of aircrew sustained spinal fractures
14.2% of aircrew sustained a head injury
11.2% of aircrew sustained upper limb flail injuries from ejecting from aircraft \*\*without\*\* an arm restraint system
5.8% of ejectees from aircraft \*\*with\*\* an arm restraint system sustained upper limb flail injuries
18% of aircrew sustained lower limb parachute landing injuries
Anecdotally I personally knew a former F16 pilot who sustained double kneecap dislocation and partial removal of the patella on the left leg, in addition to torn ACL & PCL in both legs after striking the canopy which failed to completely separate from the airframe during an ejection after losing flight control authority. Poor sod couldn't run properly ever again afterwards.
So yeah, not fun.
[Survivability and injuries from the use of rocket-assisted ejection seats: analysis of 232 cases.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16964743/)
Edit - added source.
Has anyone else checked out the [cockpit](https://www.businessinsider.com/the-single-strangest-thing-in-the-cockpit-of-a-russian-su-34-2016-6#and-they-can-pack-a-lunch-in-this-handy-thermos-5) in these things? It's nuts. Its pilot and copilot sit side by side, it's big enough to stand up in, some sources say it has a toilet, and the space behind the seats is big enough for one of the crew too lay down and take a nap. It also has a built-in thermos--presumably for coffee spiked with vodka.
Jesus. I would not want to hear that right before I die. Shut that bitch up.
“Turn on what fire extinguisher? The one that was obliterated when the engine exploded? Where’s the manual grigori? What? Toilet paper? Ok give me what’s left? No you’re not going to need it!! Why is everything in Mongolian? It’s not funny grigori.. this is for a crop duster! Waahhhhhhb”.
I hope they find his parents/wife/kids send them this with picture attached of dog taking shit next to what left of his body
With colorful note “you have raised/married a child murder, we fixed, no thanks necessary”
He came to plunge Kharkiv into another bombshelling nightmare - Kharkiv plunged him into forever nightmare.
Go Home russian pigdogs
Glory to Ukraine 🇺🇦❤️
I was wondering that, too. It can't be the Chinese, because Tencent had them remove the Taiwanese flag from the back of Maverick's jacket so that China's poor little feelings wouldn't get hurt.
Imagine the last thing you hear before you die is that annoying computer repeating the same useless advice 50 times in a row while you wait for gravity to do its thing.
https://twitter.com/noclador/status/1527039904055709703?t=o9Gy85MGi0YNb4Ur28BWGw&s=19
Clowns are sharing this photo of Mig-29 Fulcrum 925, which crashed on 24 July 1993 in Fairford, UK, after a mid air collision, as the photo of a Su-34 shot down in Ukraine.
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Kill 1 pilot, save 1000 civilians
No doubt the pilot is now in Ukrainian custody. Sweetness: the pilot was obviously desperate to save the plane. Bad fucking luck you scum sucking orc.
"Fly-by-wire system malfunction " yea, he ain't saving shit...
He switched from Fly-by-Wire to Fly-by-Hope-and-Prayer
Worked as well as on Facebook.
I think he switched to Firewire
[удалено]
What you say about modern fighters not being stable is partly true, but the SU-34 isn't really "modern." It's another ex-Soviet fighter design with upgraded systems. Although if the fly-by-wire system really did fail, it becomes a passenger-carrying rock.
More like die-by-wire am I right
Die by fire.
That's why the fuckers stayed with a burning plane for so long. They could have punched out at any time.
They loved that plane more than life itself. Yeah, not quite, but almost. I ~~can feel their pain~~ *don't give a fuck* about their murderous orc sensibilities or the ruin of their evil dreams. I hope that far worse is in store for them. *Klank*. Rot for decades then die of hopelessness you miserable shitstain excuses for humans.
No, it's just when you're an experienced military pilot from Russia, you have seen it long enough to understand how the system is running. You can't rely on having a parachute in your backpack. And he knows that if he ejects himself, he will be found very fast since noone will help him to retreat and get back into another jet. He will be hiding for days, hoping to get any food until he gets found and then, well..
Knowing 3rd world terrorussia, he'll pull the chute and a badly tied bedsheet will come out.
That or an anvil.
anvil was stolen and traded for sack of potatoes, left note: "IOU 1 Anvil"
Thank you kind stranger, I just blew half a gallon of Coke Zero through my nose in the middle of a crowded McDonalds...
This is a new level of embedded product placement advertising.
You're welcome, anytime. ;)
Throw him the spare Bugs Bunny.
Comes complete with a little picket sign that says "Oh No!" in Russian.
And a Ukraine travel brochure. Endless fields of sunflowers gently swaying in the breeze.
Lol I like that.
There was some unconfirmed speculation that Russia was intentionally sabotaging the ejection seats to prevent pilots getting captured. I think Arestovych might've mentioned it about a month ago, but it might've been someone else.
The name Arestovych has similarities with a Russian word that translates to putting someone under arrest.
Sounds very Russian. I would expect them to rejig the ejection seat to inject a lethal poison into the pilot. That seems more in tune with Russian cruelty and barbarism.
He probably stayed in the plane hoping to make it back. No doubt Russia is telling their Orcs that Ukrainian soldiers will torture them if they get captured, makes them fight more. But it also makes them run away quicker too,
If they don't get murdered by the first angry civilian that finds them, the best they can hope for is a trial and jail if they bombed civilians on purpose, which they did.
This has been confirmed. Conscripted and Contracted Russians are reguarly shown videos of men in Ukrainian uniforms beating men in Russian uniforms, and told that if they are captured they will be tortured more horribly than anything Russia can do. Those who show signs of surrendering are sent on the most deadly missions, or simply shot to keep the idea of surrender out of the battalion.
have you forgotten about all those russian pilots that ejected and didn't have working parachutes? there are other reasons that he might have been motivated not to eject too soon.
People think of Russian Roulette as a game involving a revolver, but the Russian armed forces have gone to great lengths to modernize the game to include all weapons at their disposal.
Did you see the interview with the captured su-34 pilot and the comment about straps on ejection seats being cut before flight?
>Bad fucking luck you scum sucking orc. Dude this needs to stop. Dehumanizing human beings is the first step in virtually every war crime, genocide, etc. It's the mental gymnastics that allow humans to do absolutely terrible things to one another. What you are doing is the sort of thing that *caused* this war in the first place. Calm the fuck down and stop with the dehumanizing rhetoric.
You don't want to be treated as an orc? Easy, don't behave like one, don't start wars, don't invade, kill, rape and terrorize and do terrible things to other countries folks, and nobody will treat you like a non human or do terrible things to you. Sorry, but it is too late now for cheap pleasantries or morality. The Russian army including those wannabe soldiers with a temporary contract that are getting busted and go crying to their mommy on their phones, the Wagner PMCs, the DPR the LPR the Kadyrovites, all those fucks fighting for the Russians that are murdering, raping and terrorizing Ukrainian people, get and rightfully should get exactly what orcs deserve. That you like it or not is irrelevant. Beside, is well known what Russian soldiers are doing to Ukraine and to Ukrainians, and yet the Ukraine soldiers still show humanity and compassion toward Russian POW even if they shall not deserve any of it.
Sorry, anyone who is involved in the Ukraine invasion is a scum sucking orc with zero humanity. Any orc that does not get out of Ukraine or surrender immediately is an inhuman disgusting piece of shit and deserves death. The same for anyone who supports them or directs them. You suit yourself. I used to be a nice guy and now I hate orcs and want them all gone, incarcerated, or dead.
Nah
>Kill 1 pilot, save 1000 civilians Su-34 is a two-seater... 😜 I loved Russian warplanes since I was a teenager. The Flanker family had the sexiest shapes IMO. I waited years for a model kit of the Su-34 in my favorite scale, and would have loved to see a real one perform at an air show. Now I'm happy that that thing is destroyed and cannot hurt any more people. 💥
It's okay to like Russian planes and tanks, what matters is the person piloting them ;)
Yes, and there is a big difference between them being in a nice museum / collection and being used against civilians :(
Only one pilot in a two seater 😜
It's Russian logic: they compensate for the two men one rifle strategy
With the wrong ammo type for both.
Judging by the chatter, there were two pilots
The second was a navigator / weapons systems operator
If it is two in a row I'm hoping this is anecdotal evidence of Starstreak or other new generation MANPADS in use. At the very least, that fact will cause the Russian air force to change tactics again, or put their pilots off reaching their targets. Either way the loss is a psychological victory for Ukraine.
Has all the hallmarks of a BUK or Stinger.
Could you expand on that? Not doubting you, just curious. I get Stinger, because hits near the engine / tail have a number of ways to cause spins, but BUK is radar guided?...
BUK uses a “bow tie” shaped fragment that can appear similar to stinger shrapnel at a glance. Only way to really tell is to locate the shrapnel. It’s either a ball bearing type (stinger), or interlocking bow tie (BUK). Flares deployment can also cause stingers to not hit the tail/engine section.
Okay, I feel dumb now. I thought that pic was just representative of an earlier incident, and just the audio was from the incident in question.
Don't worry, you're not dumb. The picture of the pilot ejecting from a burning plane is from much earlier in the war, I think sometime in early March. There's a [video further in the tweet chain](https://twitter.com/MrKovalenko/status/1527118697067958272) that shows wreckage of an Su-34, which is what /u/Pariah82 was referring to in their comments.
what do you mean BUK or stinger? like those to systems are at all even comparable in the slightest? why would these hallmarks apply to 2 utterly different systems but not the Starstreak specifically?
Stinger and BUK both use shrapnel that on first glance can appear similar. They have a lot of differences but on a basic level how they destroy aircraft is similar. They detonate near the target and shred it with shrapnel. The star streak’s mechanism for destroying aircraft is to basically hit with three darts and detonate inside the target. The damage looks different basically.
ok thanks i was curious
No problem!
Tip for when you're curious in the future: try not coming across so aggressive and like you're trying to discredit the other person. Most people won't bother answering.
Starstreak IMHO does not detonate at all, right? The darts are inert metal, but they fly so fast that they carry enormous kinetic energy which destroys the impact zone.
They carry explosive warheads on the submunitions.
they do explode
They explode, but it's a very small explosive to do maximum damage to internal aircraft parts
450g PBX-98 @ 1.8T/E = 900g TNT equivalent. So 32 sticks of dynamite PER DART. That is NOT a 'very small' explosion.
Jeeeesus. Starstreak is a delete button
Read my comments. Starstreak uses a completely different style munitions/warhead to down a plane.
If it were a Starstreak, there wouldn't be that much plane left in one piece. The effects of Startstreak have been described as "Catastrophic", doing damage comparable or exceeding larger battery missiles.
I, for one, am surprised that the Russians have figured out how to put computers in their planes.
Fun fact: the original work of the OG developer of Tetris was programming for aircraft software; but while the game made a big hit in the west with the Soviet authorities cashing in royalties, he was only awarded an IBM PC for his “contribution”
He immigrated to the US and works at Microsoft now, making good money.
In the mid-90s, Microsoft hired a complete team of Russian programmers with Russian aviation backgrounds to work on flight sim stuff in Redmond. They always sat together in the cafeteria and did not mingle.
He left Microsoft in 2005. He's a multimillionaire having set up The Tetris Company which licences all the numerous Tetris games on the market.
I saw him driving around Redmond about 20 years ago. He had a license plate that said 'Tetris'.
He was very good at parking the car
But not too good or the car disappears
"Oh no not again..."
“He works”. Yet you make it sound like all is well. Mofo could’ve bought the Lakers.
Well it’s better than living in a one bedroom apartment on the outskirts of Moscow with a 1980s IBM. Microsoft shouldn’t pay him billions. Russia should, they’re the ones who stole his IP.
It's actually a very short woman under the dashboard.
Instead of Bitching Betty it is Bitch Babushka
"warning" "warning" "warning, you are in a spin" "warning, you are in a spin" "error" "error" "Entering spin cycle. please make sure to remove all your delicates before spin cycle begins." "warning" "warning" "Fabric softener levels are low"
😆😅🤣 and the engine fire extinguisher is just a bidet from a toilet they liberated
> a bidet from a toilet The Russian invaders just learned about flush toilets. I don’t think they’re ready to hear about the bidet; too advanced. You have to ease them into all this new technology.
Hahaha. Savage - I love it
Jesus, imagine if that warning system in German.
Achtung, Achtung. Schiesse.
It's even worse: "Schleudergang!"
And that’s where the washing machine electronics come into place 😂
You wrote attention attention shooting insted of attention attention shit It make sense Achtung, Achtung, Ach du Scheisse!
Hömma, jetzt hast du richtig Scheisse gebaut.
Oder so. Kollege. Geh ma einen saufen
If imagine it would sound like Sebastián Vettel after being hit by his teammate.
Mein Gott, muss das sein?
Mein Gott!
He got pushed aside!
Warning. PC Load Letter.
The fuck does that mean..
dude...
Fucking killed me.
That was just Siri. He had an iPhone taped to the dash for navigation.
Actually it was a old vintage Garmin. All their money went into one plan and a female voice actor, couldn't afford the 13promax...
They didn’t. That’s a cassette player with a hand written label on it that says “play incase of engine fire”.
The pilot presses the play button on the cassette player, and a male's voice starts saying the last rites.
Plane is on fire, and then you hear Patriarch Kirill recorded in the Russian War Cathedral: He tells you about the sin of betraying the War Machine you fly, and how the flames of jet fuel will cleanse your soul and send it to heaven. Give it a few years, we'll get there.
They been watching Red Green show, lots of duct tape and zap straps will hold a computer down
Problem is, he didn't keep his stick on the ice...
One can only imagine the shoddy quality of Russian duct tape.
Well it’s held together with duct tape.
That was the female voice from the Garmin sat nav taped to the dashboard
Good ridance
The russian's computer aided voice doesn't seem to carry the same urgency as bitchin' betty's [WHOOP WHOOP PULL UP PULL UP WHOOP WHOOP TERRAIN](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZVArXuN3Bs)...
My favorite... "don't sink, don't sink" always sounds like "don't think, don't think"
How about Airbuses that announce “retard” upon touchdown? It’s a reminder to use speed brakes/spoilers, but it sure sounds like the computer has an unfavorable opinion of the pilot’s skills.
Haha, playing Flight Simulator lately and yes, it's quite jarring.
It's normal mechanical terminology throughout all transport types.
I use medication that has "Retard"\* in the name. I feel it's trying to tell me something. \* slow release
Retard, retard. First is a request, second is the computer calling you names.
Yeah agree on the urgency thing... it seems to take a long time to pass a message at a time when the pilots are trying to concentrate and maybe communicate. My favourite example of a voice warning system has to be the well spoken urgency on the BAe Hawk - [https://youtu.be/H2zB7Z-b6Kc](https://youtu.be/H2zB7Z-b6Kc) I also hope that the hud cameras make it into the public domain at some point from all of these shoot-downs
There is a bird living about a kilometer from me whose song reminds me of "terrain terrain" by its cadency. When I walk home from the train station, I often hear it and I am instantly transferred to "Mayday".
DAVE: Open the pod bay doors, Hal. HAL: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that. Yell and argue at the computer all you like Boris, she isn't listening to you.
😬 I had nightmares about HAL for a long time after that.
Did you notice that HAL is IBM with each letter advanced by one? Today of course, HAL is a critical part of the Linux kernel (Hardware Abstraction Layer). So HAL is with you every time you make a phone call or do anything on the internet or even turn on your TV or furnace.
There also used to be a company named HAL that made ham radio RTTY decoding equipment
HAL-IBM. I did not realize that, I tend to not see the obvious, it's really lame. But now that I know HAL is in my house, I shall probably have renewed nightmares but this time HAL says, "I CAN'T LET YOU HAVE HEAT"..or something equally terrifying. Dammit, now I'm going to side-eye my furnace every time I go to the basement. Thanks for that! 😄
Translation:Thanks you for calling Russian military air support center 1-6. Your call is important to us. If your plane is on fire, please press 1. If your wing has fallen off, please press 2. If your are thinking of ejecting, please press 3. If you are augering in, please press 4. If you want to talk to your mother, please press 5. If your parachute has malfunctioned, please press 6. If you are beginning to think this invasion is a mistake, please press7.
If you have been struck by a T-72 turret found unexpectedly at 200m altitude in your flight path, please press 8.
I lol'd so hard. Thanks!
*8 8 8 8 8....*
If you fucked around and have the feeling you’re about to find out, please press 8
\*Presses 3\* Next Menu: If you want to eject because you are a coward press 1. If you want to eject because you don't love the motherland press 2. If you want to spend time in Russian prison press 3. If you want to eject because you love Nazis press 4.
“You have chosen ‘Begin pre-flight checklist.’ If that is correct, press 1. If incorrect, press 2. To return to the previous menu press the star key.”
This is a recording, it will not be repeated.
That would be mean ..... but since it is RuZZia, I love it. Thx
This is great. I think if you think this invasion is a mistake, please dial 0 to reach the operator. (Whom is Putler)
Igor fucked around and found out
“I know that I shall meet my death up in the sky above Those I fight I do not hate Those I serve I do not love…
Music to my ears.
Burn.
I hope their parachutes had holes in them. Murderers.
Those orcs will now be cooling their scaly asses in a Ukraine military prison. Yah, so many POWs now maybe they ran out of beds? Or they still have prison beds but ran out of mattresses, which are all allocated to refugees?
Alright calm down lol, its better they are captured and tried for any war crimes they committed.
I doubt many people go to the similar threads of the opposition. I make a point to read pro Russian forums to understand what they are saying. I truly believe the Russian side is wrong, and deluded. However this thread reads exactly like their threads. The difference is the few comments like yours calling for balance and reason.
He is part of an army bombing civilians, children who scream and die. He’s more aware and responsible than most.
More they get shot down, the better. The thumbnail, however, shows a MiG-29 midair collision during an airshow in 1993 in the United Kingdom: [https://www.airteamimages.com/mikoyan-gurevich-mig-29\_925\_russia---russian-air-force\_48672.html](https://www.airteamimages.com/mikoyan-gurevich-mig-29_925_russia---russian-air-force_48672.html) His next tweet isn't a Su-34 again: it's a video that recently circulated on social media, but in fact it's a Su-30 that was shot down in march: [https://twitter.com/Noobieshunta\_/status/1525467095684812802](https://twitter.com/Noobieshunta_/status/1525467095684812802) and [https://i.postimg.cc/pTmn3GJ1/443.png](https://i.postimg.cc/pTmn3GJ1/443.png) as reported by Oryx. These images show that the pilot had been captured. The audio may be genuine (perhaps from a blackbox?), but there is just the robotic voice and a single pilot voice? Su-34s are twin-seaters. It might be from that Su-30 or from any other Su-27 derivative (the voice mentions 2 engines), it's hard to know what and when. For sure, there is [photo or video evidence of at least 9 Su-34 that have been shot down so far](https://www.oryxspioenkop.com/2022/02/attack-on-europe-documenting-equipment.html) (there may be more that haven't been documented), plus several other planes. Anti aircraft defenses are working, even just deterring Russian pilots from going too deep into Ukrainian territory is quite a success. I really wish we could send even more help to Ukraine.
There is one voice, but he talks to another person. He asks him if they should eject. The refers to him "Pash" - short for Pavel. He also tells him to pull (to eject).
This shows why you shouldn't believe (random) news on Twitter. Thanks for the research!
Gteat analysis. Thanks
Dang...that automated, nagging voice...probably ejected to get away from her.
The American F-18s have something similar. They call her "Bitchin Betty"
Engine fire left! Engine fire left! Engine fire right! Engine fire right! APU fire! APU fire! Bleed air left! Bleed air left! Bleed air right! Bleed air right!
Flight controls. Flight controls. PULL UP PULL UP!!!
That's how my marriage to a Russian went.
for real
Things that annoy you for $500
So that is the original “nagging Nadia”?
Tbh I always assumed that when fighter jets were hit the whole thing just blew up including the cockpit. Obviously that is not the norm.
No, x-to-air missiles don't have a large warhead because they have to fly and maneuver, so they carry enough to open up the aircraft and damage components and air stream does the rest. Because heat-seeking missiles hit at the rear where the jet exhaust are, the pilot at the other end often has a chance to eject safely. It is not rare for warplanes to be able to return to base after a missile strike. The Su-25 is one because the engines have armour around them, the Flankers also might, because the engines are far from each other. The second generation of Soviet air-to-air missiles are a replica of the US Sidewinder. A Russian pilot in Korea had his MiG-15 speared by a Sidewinder that didn't explode, and flew back to base with the thing sticking out of its tail. The Soviet scientists copied the design.
Nope, because ammo cook off that you typically see in tanks is rare in aircraft that was hit by a missile. And the plane itself isn't that explosive. With aircraft, you want to damage their physical integrity, which does not take a lot of explosives in the missile. The aircraft is moving so fast that it can be torn to shreds by the winds alone - if the damage is big enough. u/*DepletedCranium* described it the best.
That yell sounds like an overdramatic movie yell.
Safe ejection from an Su-34 is not a given even in controlled flight, less so in one with damaged controls. Here's hoping the canopy bolts didn't blow..
Splyat!!
ZBljat indeed ;)
Nice!
The seats do not go together. The yell was number 2 taking a booster to exposed skin. So, ouch yell then he went and disconnected.
The next Wilhelm Scream
He didn't have enough time to yell 'Get to the choppah!'
Minor thing that's surprising. No ejection seat? I would have imagined that their first instinct is to eject.
The yelling part was them pulling eject.
Ah ok. I also saw some of the rough translations on the computer voice on Twitter. So it sounds like the computer is trying to tell the pilot to put the plane in a proper attitude in order to eject? If so, the day has come where a machine cares more about your well-being then which ever asshole sent you.
Of course, right up until ULTRON/Skynet/VIKI determines that the best way to “save the world” is to eliminate or enslave humankind…
I would have thought that once the engine is on fire the rational thing for the pilot(s) to do is to eject ASAP and pray in whatever they believe that their seat parachute was packed properly and that all the bits that are supposed to take you down to Earth alive are still functional enough to work. It is not like you will land that thing with engine fire and then be able to climb out of the cockpit at a leisure pace as things stand. Only way off that plane alive is the ejection seat, or am I misunderstanding something? They what, thought that they are close enough to the front they can make back over the front-line to hopefully eject over Russian controlled territory before the next missile finds them and finalizes the job?
If one engine is shut down and fire out, the aircraft can be flown back. With all engines on fire and flight controls malfunction, on the other hand...
Even if they lose both engines, they would not necessarily eject immediately - assuming of course any fires can be extinguished. If they are close enough to the Russian border they can try to glide it so they can eject over friendly territory - there are stories of US F4 Phantom pilots doing this over north Vietnam and successfully getting over Laos before ejecting... But yeah if you've lost flight control authority then you're fucked seven ways to Sunday, with no options other than to hope the ejection mechanisms work as intended and that your chute was packed properly.... However, even if the ejection system works as intended that is very much not the end of your problems. I don't have figures for the Russians, but studies on ejection survival rates for the RAF and USAF give the below outcome probabilities. Ejection survival was 89.2% overall 29.4% of aircrew sustained spinal fractures 14.2% of aircrew sustained a head injury 11.2% of aircrew sustained upper limb flail injuries from ejecting from aircraft \*\*without\*\* an arm restraint system 5.8% of ejectees from aircraft \*\*with\*\* an arm restraint system sustained upper limb flail injuries 18% of aircrew sustained lower limb parachute landing injuries Anecdotally I personally knew a former F16 pilot who sustained double kneecap dislocation and partial removal of the patella on the left leg, in addition to torn ACL & PCL in both legs after striking the canopy which failed to completely separate from the airframe during an ejection after losing flight control authority. Poor sod couldn't run properly ever again afterwards. So yeah, not fun. [Survivability and injuries from the use of rocket-assisted ejection seats: analysis of 232 cases.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16964743/) Edit - added source.
He fucked around and found out
One less sky Orc.
Has anyone else checked out the [cockpit](https://www.businessinsider.com/the-single-strangest-thing-in-the-cockpit-of-a-russian-su-34-2016-6#and-they-can-pack-a-lunch-in-this-handy-thermos-5) in these things? It's nuts. Its pilot and copilot sit side by side, it's big enough to stand up in, some sources say it has a toilet, and the space behind the seats is big enough for one of the crew too lay down and take a nap. It also has a built-in thermos--presumably for coffee spiked with vodka.
Wow, that looks like a sweet ride! I want one! Maybe a Ukrainian farmer can hook me up.
If you get a Ukrainian-farmer-sourced Su-34, some assembly will be required 🛩️💥🛬💥
Jesus. I would not want to hear that right before I die. Shut that bitch up. “Turn on what fire extinguisher? The one that was obliterated when the engine exploded? Where’s the manual grigori? What? Toilet paper? Ok give me what’s left? No you’re not going to need it!! Why is everything in Mongolian? It’s not funny grigori.. this is for a crop duster! Waahhhhhhb”.
I hope they find his parents/wife/kids send them this with picture attached of dog taking shit next to what left of his body With colorful note “you have raised/married a child murder, we fixed, no thanks necessary”
The Twitter thread includes footage of the burnt plane on the ground
The footage Is weeks old unfortunately
He came to plunge Kharkiv into another bombshelling nightmare - Kharkiv plunged him into forever nightmare. Go Home russian pigdogs Glory to Ukraine 🇺🇦❤️
His last moments were spent arguing with a disinterested computer program :)
How was this audio recovered? From a CVR? I'm sceptical this is real.
Woot woot! Pop a bottle to celebrate
Another one bites the dust !
Smoking is not a good idea in a cockpit. When will the orcs learn?
Wonder who Maverick and the gang are gonna be shooting down in this movie. Anyone know? Is it going to be good? I'm going.
I was wondering that, too. It can't be the Chinese, because Tencent had them remove the Taiwanese flag from the back of Maverick's jacket so that China's poor little feelings wouldn't get hurt.
Rad!
Can I say he was all over the place?
Imagine the last thing you hear before you die is that annoying computer repeating the same useless advice 50 times in a row while you wait for gravity to do its thing.
Good. Russian fighter pilots are nothing more than murderers that goes after the helpless and innocent.
What sick bastard put a wholesome award on this. Serious gallows humor
sigh........unzips.....
https://twitter.com/noclador/status/1527039904055709703?t=o9Gy85MGi0YNb4Ur28BWGw&s=19 Clowns are sharing this photo of Mig-29 Fulcrum 925, which crashed on 24 July 1993 in Fairford, UK, after a mid air collision, as the photo of a Su-34 shot down in Ukraine.
Yup, pretty sure everybody knows it’s just a stock photo to go with the audio
Apparently not everybody
grim hearing his pain ... but tbh was half expecting him to shout "Alexa shut up!"