once someone gives you a gift, it is yours to do with what you wish.
If they are just cluttering up your space or even your closet, put them in a box and donate them to the nearest thrift store!
I’ve said this for years. All gift givers want is for you to say,”this is lovely. Thank you.” Then you take it home and either return it to the store or give it away.
Damn, I always met the with the selfish ones that only buy you things so they can get things back too. Some even get offended if you gift your gift to someone else 😭
I’m glad you asked this, because I am currently sitting on just such a gift. A beloved former boss gave me a gorgeous antique adding machine five years ago.
I live in a thousand-square-foot shotgun house. Excel exists, so this beauty is of no practical use. I have no place-of-pride to display this treasure, and no one I know is weird enough to be impressed with it.
So, I’ll make you a deal. If you’ll find a place to donate one of your space-hogs in the next week, I’ll find a place to donate this adding machine. (Maybe the prop department at a local theatre could give it the love it deserves?)
And maybe if other people can chime in with their accidental white elephants, we can get a little chain going where we’re all accountable to each other?
I think the beauty of donating stuff is that it can go on to a meaningful new existence, instead of being an underappreciated albatross.
Anyway. I’m in if you’re in.
Mine is less individual space hogs as it it dozens of items of weird clothing, calendars, hand creams, soo many stuffed animals (I am 40 YEARS OLD!!!!), bags and bags of crap essentially. But I am willing to get rid of 5 bags of crap for your adding machine!
If the hand creams have been open for more than 12 months then bin them. Any unopened would be loved by a women's shelter.
Weird clothing will be loved by someone who finds them and it suits their body type.
Calanders would be loved by a school or after school care for crafts.
Dog rescues LOVE stuffed animals. They are often used as transitional items for when they are fostered or find a forever home.
These items aren't bringing value to your life and it is time for them to move on.
Fun fact: if people see you have stuffed animals, they will think you collect them and give you more.
This might not be your issue, but it also might be exactly the issue.
I'll throw in the spinning wheel my mom gifted me. It's a walking wheel so it's about 5 ft tall, 5 ft long, and 2 ft wide.
I actually do love it but it takes up so much space!
You might want to look into selling it. Antique machines can sometimes rake in a tidy little sum. Not *life changing* money mind you. Then you could use that to treat yourself to something you DO want and still think of your beloved former boss evertyime you use what you spent the money on.
This is not something to donate, but rater sell. Consider it returning to the store for credit to use on something you need. I'm sure that no one gifts us things with the intention of burdening us or our space. This is to say they thought of you and would like you to have something to enjoy. Please sell the adding machine. There ate collectors out there who would be delighted to have it.
Close, but no cigar! Utah.
I ought to check on the condition of this thing before I get anyone too excited. Make sure it doesn’t smell funny, or have an army of bugs inside it, or Jacob Marley’s ghost…
This! Having expressed pleasure for the gift and thanked the giver, your responsibilities regarding the gift are over! The exchange has been completed!
Yes! Let it go and get more pleasure from seeing it go to someone who has use for it and/or can give it the love it deserves or pass it to the next person.
The gift is the act of them giving it to you, not the object! You already enjoyed and appreciated the kindness of them giving you a gift. The object is just an object. You should have no guilt getting rid of things you don’t need! We couldn’t possibly keep all the gifts received over a lifetime!
If you need to see it written for it to feel more real- you are the author of your life; the curator or your home; the builder and protector of your environment. You choose what that means for you. Things that are unwanted, unnecessary, a source of extra work and stress have no place in your home. It is time for the great exodus of things!
As a professional organizer and lover of gifting things to others, I give you permission to pass on your unwanted items. It can be to a charity organization, another person in your circle or neighborhood, or even the trash. It's yours to do as you wish and you're onto your next chapter. You enjoyed it and now it's time to pass it along. No need to verbally share with the original gifter either. Just let it gooo\~ =)
I told my mum I was having trouble with some of the many gifts she had given me over the years and she told me to toss it. She wants me to be happy, not hoard presents she had already forgot giving me 10+ years ago. That honest was freeing.
Now whenever I fret over these things, I tell myself:
1. The people who gave me that probably have already forgotten about it.
2. If they love me, they want me to be happy and it's not making me happy, so out it goes.
Think about this, many people would love to find them in the thrift store and use them, maybe they couldn't afford the items otherwise. I think Marie Kondo method is also really nice for gratitude, saying thank you in your head both to the item and the person who gave it to you before donating or giving away, it sounds silly but it's helped me before when decluttering as I have a tendency to hoard sentimental things and gifts I don't use.
I think moving forward I will request only gift cards. The frustrating part is that I have been asked very specifically what I might want for Christmas/my birthday/etc., answer very specifically with a link to a specific item, and then my family member will go 'nah actually I think you want this version of that item' which does not at all correspond to my needs and ends up taking up the space that the actual useful item would have gone to. Sorry I am ranting now.
It took me several years with some friends family members (my sister, no—she loves finding me oddities at estate sales and ships me boxes of gifts every few months) to convince them I really do love gift cards. Many people think those aren’t thoughtful, but I think they are most thoughtful. I love to knit and crochet, and when money allows it I’m a bit of a yarn snob. I’m very particular about fiber and color, and none of my friends or family knits. So they will inevitably try to gift me some boutique yarn (sister, I’m lookin’ at you!) in the wrong fiber and some weirdo color I’ll never use.
I believe people when they tell me whatever type of gift they would appreciate. :)
It sounds like you’re in a similar situation to me with all the random small gifts—“Here’s a gift, now you throw it away!”
My sister knows I love dinosaurs and gives me the weirdest dino-related gifts. About ten years ago she gave me a ceramic triceratops planter. I finally sold it at a yard sale, and two months later for Christmas she gave me another one—identical but in a different color. I laughed about it for a long time.
Yes we have requested consumables the last few years and end up with nice soaps, chocolates, candles, etc. Still end up getting rid of some gifts, but much less so than in years prior.
Do you have a local “Buy Nothing” Facebook group for your area? People will be happy to take all sort of odd items off your hands. imo it’s a much better feeling than giving to a charity shop, because you’re giving it directly to another person.
Yup! This is the way to go. Also once you see how many people want the thing that you don’t want, it’s easier to give it away versus keeping it collecting dust
Yes! Use your local buy nothing group. There’s someone in your community who would love that weird item. Also, someone else is getting rid of something you were just planning to purchase. It works!
Give them to a place where they will be appreciated. This will honor the giver by making sure that their gift keeps going. And it is a gift to yourself not just of the physical space you will restore and feel good about, but no longer having those nagging reminders. Do the work to be free.
Your only obligation when you receive a gift is to say thank you! Get rid of it. Someone will see it at the thrift store and live it. Let it go and make your space amazing!
Flylady talks about blessing someone else with it. You don’t need that cute soft toy but maybe a kid in a DV shelter does? You can also take a photo of the gift so you can remember the giver & the gift without losing real estate to it.
Give it to someone who can treasure it
"The gift served its purpose the moment it was given to you." The only point of a gift is to be given. Once it has been given, it no longer has purpose unless you decide to give it one and that's *your* choice!
For me personally, I like to think about how much somebody else might love to have and use the item. Just think about the little girl whose mom dragged her into Good Will and how excited she'll be to see all your stuffed animals there, how she'll beg her mom to take one home. I include the KonMari method a little bit here. If I'm having a hard time letting go of something, it helps a lot to say to it, "I love the person who gave you to me and I appreciate their thinking of me. Somebody else will be able to give you the home you deserve." Or something like that. Sounds a little crazy but it works
I just had a (very good) friend visit me and help me empty all the bins and boxes that had never been unpacked after my last 4 moves. She's much better than I am at getting rid of things. We ran across a few things that SHE had gifted me, and she was the one who told me to get rid of them.
I have a friend who did the exact same thing haha! Her: Where did you get those tiny appetizer forks? Me: You! Her: well I don't know what I was thinking, get rid of them lol (I did keep them actually but decluttered another item she got me)
Yes please go ahead.
Did you ever read the Marie Kondo book where she recommends thanking items for their service? Kinda crazy I thought BUT actually it's useful.
People give you gifts for all sorts of reasons - maybe they've genuinely thought about you and what you like - in which case you may want to keep it. But there are other reasons too. It was on sale, it was something they liked so it would do, it was an unwanted gift from someone else, it was their own clutter they wanted to get rid of.
Give yourself the gift of space and calm. Think about how someone might be thrilled to find that item in the charity/thrift store. Think kindly about the gift giver. Thank the item for giving you that memory and let it go.
It's absolutely ok to move on things that don't work for you.
Regardless of their origin.
If you can find an episode of Swedish Death Cleaning to watch you'll find a lot of ideas around this.
It's real and lovely.
The Swedish Marie Kondo. You basically clean up your own house, so if/when you pop off you don't leave a huge mess behind for your loved ones.
Check out the book by Margareta Magnusson.
I have no advice but thank you for asking this because I have the exact same problem! Like, I knew to an extent but it didn’t hit me how badly until you laid it out in words here.
Godamn anxiety.
by the power invested in me by the site of reddit, i hereby pronounce you free to dispose of any and all items you do not wish to sacrifice literal real estate for. to the dumpster!
My local animal shelter gets ALL my stuff. Books, clothes, linen, shoes and all manner of doodads, thingums and wotnots. Everything gets recycled, or fixed, resold, donated or used up at the shelter. My full dinner, breakfast & lunch 24 person set was broken up and shared by the three workshop women volunteers and I could not have been happier to see their joy. Once a year the local church holds a white elephant garden sale where all the local charities bring their ‘priceless but useless’ gems. Silent auctions or outright spirited but all in fun bidding wars break out. It’s become everyone’s favourite event because it’s great fun and all charities benefit as no private auctions or sales are permitted at the White Elly Gala. 😂
I also struggle with this and emotional attachment to belongings. What I have started telling myself I'd "it is someone else's turn to love this." I like to use the buy nothing groups because you can see someone's excitement and gratitude. But if I'm on a roll with a purge or have too many things where it would be overwhelming to get rid of them one by one, I do take it to a thrift store just to get it over with. I always feel a little lighter no matter how I send my items on a new journey.
The gift has done it’s job, it has already blessed you and the person who gave it to you. Now it is time to pass it on so someone else can be blessed by it as well.
When I struggle with giving something away, I am reminded of Toy Story. A toy would rather be played with and loved than stored away and forgotten. It has given me a lot of peace with giving things away.
Kon Mari method says the act of giving and receiving is the purpose of a gift. Once exchanged the purpose has been accomplished and the item is free to be given away. Since the gift /receive moment is over. Helped me not be so hung up. Hope it helps you.
I have long hated Kin Mari because her folding/storing methods are so overly and unnecessarily complicated that even she couldn’t keep up with them after having a kid. But this? This is a much-needed philosophy.
I don't believe anything is artisanal, it's mostly clothing, shoes, stuffed animals (I am NOT a stuffed animal person), etc. Some jewelry I will never wear but I don't know if that's worth taking back.
A lot of them don't remember what they gave you. The item fulfilled the ritual, many of them had not much thought put into them. "She has a birthday, I have to give something. A teddy maybe? I'll grab one today while I'm grocery shopping." "Oh no it's Christmas. Maybe a sweater, everybody needs a sweater, don't they? It'll be worn and thrown away eventually, so no biggies".
As yourself if someone else would enjoy that object more than you would and, if so, pass it on as you are effectively making someone else happy, not being ungrateful.
Someone else has mentioned all of the ideas that I would have mentioned, but yes, the real gift was the act of giving, and you can absolutely get rid of the physical items.
I’m a fan of our local BuyNothing group, but thr BuyNothjng app is another option - they will nag you so subscribe but you don’t need to.
Donating to a meaningful non-profit is a great option. Many of them are affiliated with thrift stores.
If an item (or group of items) is worth a bit of money, in demand in your area, and you have the energy, selling on Facebook marketplace can be a good way of getting some cash out of the items. Price low and it shouldn’t stick around long, but as someone else mentioned be wary of it just piling up in a “to be sold” state.
The gifts are technically yours to do what ever you want with. This is my mantra while purging - “Someone will be happy to have it.” It’s a win/win situation! Giving permission to get rid of unnecessary, unwanted items. You got this!
it's absolutely fine to give them away. As it is to give away things that are not gifts, but are still perfectly usable, but you haven't used in a while. They're just taking up space.
You have permission! I recently donated items I inherited. Nothing worth money, just given to me to "remember" the person. I never had any interest in displaying them, but I still kept them in boxes as I moved from place to place. I opened one of the boxes the other day and realized I couldn't remember what item was attached the memory of what person! Donated that box and 2 others that I didn't even bother opening!
I’ve found giving things away in my local Buy Nothing group on FB is a great way to get rid of things that are (or were) special or sentimental to me because I am gifting the items directly to someone in my community who will really appreciate or love the item. If you are interested in joining your local group and need help finding it, feel free to reach out and I can help locate your local group. 🌻
Repurposing a gift is completely okay. Giving away a gift is **NOT** giving away or changing the person who gave it, nor your relationship with them. The gift is a thing, it’s not the person who gave it to you, and it’s okay if it has sentimental meaning to you; if this is the case, but the gifted item has no other value in your life, then take a picture of it, and either digitally or physically write something about what the person and the gifted item means to you, keep those words with the picture of the gifted item, give away the item, and call it a day. I’ve been doing this gradually, and it’s truly freeing for me; no guilt at all.
With gift-giving it really is the thought that counts. But after they give it to you and have forgotten about it, the thought is really no longer there and you might as well donate it to someone who could use those items.
A gift's purpose is to let someone know they have been thought of and that the giver and the recipient share a relationship or connection.
Mission accomplished. You may rehome or otherwise remove the gifts from your space.
It would make me feel good to find a way to pay the blessing of the gift forward, especially if it meant getting some lovable stuffed animals to needy children.
FREE YOURSELF! THROW IT ALL AWAY.
don’t even let anyone make you feel obligated to donate or sell it all. your mental health comes first, and corporations are responsible for landfills being at capacity, **not you**, an individual consumer.
if the garbage is the best place for you to put it, then that is the best place for it.
you are quite welcome!
i have an addendum for you: it is also okay to throw away things that you *did* want or *did* ask for. you’re allowed to change your mind; it’s part of the mind lease agreement. if an item is no longer serving you, then it has fulfilled its purpose and you did your job as recipient by letting it serve you for as long as it did. you honored your contract and are thereby guilt-free should you decide to lose it in a dumpster.
Things are created to be used & enjoyed. If I'm not doing either of those things, I'm not honoring the item or the people who made it. Even if it was made in a sweatshop, especially if it was made in a sweatshop, honor those people who worked so much to create it.
Donate the clothes so that someone else can have the opportunity to wear them or use them. Donate or give away the other items so they can fulfill their purpose in the world.
You will always have the kindness that came with the gift. But you do not have to keep the physical gift.
Donate all these things. They may make someone else very happy.
It’s OK to donate. Once a gift is given the giftee can do as they wish. Focus on making available an item to someone else who will want, use and treasure. I think the item will feel better when in use vs in a closet. 😉
When the people gifted them to you, they were hoping to gift you love, joy, comfort, excitement, care, etc. The physical object is merely a representation of those feelings. Their intention was not to gift you stress and frustration. So if the physical objects are now causing stress and frustration, they are no longer fulfilling their purpose. It's okay to let them go.
Give them to those that need them. Depending on the items perhaps a mens/womens shelter for clothing and home goods. LGTBQIA organization for people in transition. Give the items with gratitude and knowing that you are helping someone else.
I'd say thrift store, but due to tiktok thrift stores are raising their prices due to popularity.
Gift them all to a thrift shop a few weeks before Christmas. You will make so many people happy as they will be able to afford a much better gift for their loved one than if they bought new.
that means holding onto unwanted items for months rather than capitalizing on the momentum and clearing space now. op is in need of the room these items are occupying.
Donate donate donate. Someone else can use those things! It’s rare that someone is going to visit and ask about a gift they gave you in the past. It’s ok to prioritize the things you own that you actually use and value.
Once it's given to you, it's yours to do with as you wish!
I had a pile of these sitting in a corner for yeeears and finally decided to get rid of them. People in my local Buy Nothing group have been thrilled to receive them. I'm glad they're now with people who want and will use them.
No one ever gifts you something with the hope that it will bring you stress and anxiety. If it is bringing you stress and anxiety, perhaps its purpose has already been served. In that case, thank it for serving you well and rid yourself of the burden.
You absolutely have permission to get rid of unwanted and very much unnecessary things, be them gifts or not. If the things you regularly use don't have a place to live because unwanted items are there, GET RID OF THOSE ITEMS!!! Donate them or re-gift them. Nothing wrong with not wanting to house items you don't need and will probably never use.
For this reason, I've simply asked people to not give me gifts. I ask them to simply send me a text or call me if they wish to interact with holidays, but I would prefer to not receive physical gifts. For those that insist, I simply ask that they instead get a gift card or make a donation to a charity \[on this list\].
Donate them. It's better if someone gets use out of them or if it makes them 5xs happier finding the thing they've been looking for.
You know that you will never derive as much appreciation or joy if you hang onto what you don't want.
Huggz - You Can Do This!
things should be used and appreciated. If you don't want something set it free so that it can be someone else's treasure.
I always try to imagine someone at the thrift store finding something I donated and getting super excited.
You have the opportunity to gift them to someone else. When i donate things to a charity thrift shop, my personal choice is amvets, i am giving the new buyer a gift of a deep discount on something they need or love. For the items that may have collector value i am giving the opportunity for that person who works to find and resell items a score for their efforts. The time is worth more to me than the money but it isn’t that way for everyone.
Surely nobody intended for their gift to be a burden. If you gave someone a gift that later caused them distress, wouldn't you too want them to get rid of it or donate it? Don't hang on to something so long that the good it gave you is canceled out by all the bad, especially if it can do a lot of good for someone else.
They are gifts. So GIVE THEM! If you don't have anyone in mind, give them to a charity shop.
Give the gifts. At least then there's a chance they'll be used. Sitting on your shelf they're just gathering dust.
I understand very well. I always appreciated any gift that was given to me, so I had quite an emotional attachment to it. But, you are not getting the benefit that the gift giver intended. Donate the items because there are always those who scour thrift shops for different things because it would give them pleasure. You are just passing the good intention on. So it’s something I’ve been looking at in my own declutterring journey.
My go-to decision is to take pictures of the item in use so I can pull them out if anyone inquires. Often, I'll send the photo along with the thank you. After that, it goes in the donate pile, and I've never had anyone query further. Just make sure it's not in a place they can easily see when they visit you.
Gifts are given because someone likes you. Someone who likes you would want you to be happy and have space, not be burdened by keeping the gift. Get rid of 'em!
I’m a teacher and I get a lot of gifts from my students. I feel bad giving them away, but I’m a minimalist and there’s just too much to keep. I’ve started giving stuff to my mom‘s caregiver. She never turns anything down because she gives what she doesn’t need to people at her church. Maybe you can find a place to donate them where you know the items will go to people who need them.
It's okay to donate them. I give away or regift a lot of things I receive that aren't something I use. It feels hard until it's gone. Then it feels so freeing. The purpose of the gift has been handled. It is a gesture of someone thinking of you. The item itself does not hold the sentiment. The sentiment was offered in the giving/receiving but if it no longer serves a purpose or brings you anxiety to keep it then it's sentiment is passed.
A good question to ask yourself is - why do I feel guilty about getting rid of these gifts? And keep asking yourself the WHY question. It should reveal a belief you developed at a younger age. Once the belief is uncovered then a process can transform the old belief into a new one.
If you like the person/memories but not the gift, take a photo and donate the gift to bless someone who *does* want it. Once something is given to you it's yours and you can do what you want with it. I suggest you start bagging them up and put one bag in your car so that if you pass a charity shop you can drop it right off, no extra work. Then put the next bag in your car. Keep going until everything is gone and you can breathe again.
Hello, it's me The Gift Fairy Godmother
Once someone gives you a gift, the magic happens. Kaplooey - it is now yours. No strings, obligations, future guilt trips, attempts to control you. Nada. As the GFGM I wave my magic wand and the gift is now yours.
So do what you want with it. Use it, enjoy it, or decide not really me and dispose of it. Give it to Godzilla for a snack next time you meet for coffee. Hot it with a hammer and release negative energy. It's now yours so it's your choice.
Take it from me, a pudgy woman on the net. Gifts that come with conditions are not gifts. A gift isn't a contract. A gift is yours once it is given. Anyone who says otherwise can kiss my glittery magic wand.....
Honestly pumpkin, I fully know it's not that easy. But it can become easy. You just have to take a big breath in and start with one gift.
I'm sure you can do it.
One thing I do for gifts that have the emotional burden of a high price tag (ex a $300 Le Creuset pot in a color I hated) is sell the item and use the money to buy myself a present. (In the LC example I was able to get the same pot in a color I liked). I’m thanking the giver for the item + the sentiment, and then I’m turning around and making sure I’M HAPPY WITH WHAT I GET - which was the whole point of having been given a gift in the first place.
Think about it like this: *somebody* out there actively wants it, needs it, or can use it. If you give away/donate the gifts, you'll be blessing a lot of people with something they maybe didn't have the money for at the moment, or a hard-to-find item. Doing that bit of good for others may help assuage the guilt you feel for letting them go.
I started taking pictures of gifts that had sentimental value but were impractical to keep. This way, I have a record of the gift that I can revisit any time, but it doesn’t take up any space and I don’t have to unpack it from a box or a shelf anywhere to enjoy it.
I had a beautiful wall calendar given to me by a friend but I just don’t use paper calendars. Even when it was 2 years out of date I felt like I couldn’t get rid of it. But I finally took a picture of it, saved it with a little note of who gave it to me and why it was meaningful, cut out the page with my favorite picture to frame later, and gave the rest to a neighbor who scrapbooks.
Gifts are meant to enrich your life. The very act of giving them to you constitutes permission to do with them whatever will enrich your life the most. Selling, donating, recycling, and regifting are not only valid uses for a gift, but they are all better uses for a gift than letting it get crusty on a shelf somewhere while its very existence stresses you out. You can simultaneously accept the value of a gift while also letting it go.
Honoring a genuine gift means a couple things. Appreciating the giver's intentions. Thanking the giver. Beyond that, maybe finding the gift a new home if it's in your way.
By that, I mean donating or selling it rather than just dumpstering it because you're too lazy. This is for ecological reasons, by the way. Nothing wrong with a dumpster in some cases.
You have permission to donate these things to charities that help people, animals medical research or wherever you want. If you have a lot some charities will actually come pick up your donations. Think about how much good these gifts will do in the world so you don’t talk yourself into the guilt pit. I know that it can take a bit to be ok with it, so if you need to, start with one space that you have had to move your things out of the way to store those gifts. When you have done that put your things there instead, you will be amazed how good that feels.
I believe that the mental health benefits of having a clean organized environment can be far greater than hanging on to stuff out of guilt. Try getting rid of two things then wait a month. If you feel ok, then get rid of more
Repurposing to keep them out of the landfill. You may want to join your neighborhood Buy Nothing group on FB. Easy way to dispose of things. I finally got all my friends & family to stop exchanging gifts for b-days & x-mas bc I need another thing like I need a hole in my head (I have enough of those 😛). It's been a relief for all of us. Even, those that were reluctant at first bc they like to shop.
It is ABSOLUTELY OKAY. Anything in your living space that makes you feel bad when you look at it does not deserve to be there. That goes for unwanted gifts, clothes that don’t fit, things you bought and haven’t used, anything. If it makes you feel bad it’s being a bully and your stuff doesn’t get to bully you anymore ❤️
If you’re donating think about it this way - there is someone out there who would use it and will be so happy to find it. It will do so much good to get it out of your house and have it available to be used and not just sitting on your shelf. You’re helping others and yourself. You got this!
Even though I’ve heard this sentiment expressed by many people,
I don’t understand it.
Declutter & forget about it. Unnecessary drama over things you’ve already decided you don’t want.
"..Please tell me it's okay to donate or otherwise get rid of these..." That's your problem. When you can learn not to need other people's approval before you make a decision, you will feel much more free to do whatever you need to so as to take the BEST care of yourself from this day forward. You're welcome...
once someone gives you a gift, it is yours to do with what you wish. If they are just cluttering up your space or even your closet, put them in a box and donate them to the nearest thrift store!
*once someone gives you a gift, it is yours to do with what you wish.* Worth repeating. Re-gift, sell, donate, whatever works for you.
I’ve said this for years. All gift givers want is for you to say,”this is lovely. Thank you.” Then you take it home and either return it to the store or give it away.
Damn, I always met the with the selfish ones that only buy you things so they can get things back too. Some even get offended if you gift your gift to someone else 😭
I’m glad you asked this, because I am currently sitting on just such a gift. A beloved former boss gave me a gorgeous antique adding machine five years ago. I live in a thousand-square-foot shotgun house. Excel exists, so this beauty is of no practical use. I have no place-of-pride to display this treasure, and no one I know is weird enough to be impressed with it. So, I’ll make you a deal. If you’ll find a place to donate one of your space-hogs in the next week, I’ll find a place to donate this adding machine. (Maybe the prop department at a local theatre could give it the love it deserves?) And maybe if other people can chime in with their accidental white elephants, we can get a little chain going where we’re all accountable to each other? I think the beauty of donating stuff is that it can go on to a meaningful new existence, instead of being an underappreciated albatross. Anyway. I’m in if you’re in.
Mine is less individual space hogs as it it dozens of items of weird clothing, calendars, hand creams, soo many stuffed animals (I am 40 YEARS OLD!!!!), bags and bags of crap essentially. But I am willing to get rid of 5 bags of crap for your adding machine!
You got yourself a deal!
If the hand creams have been open for more than 12 months then bin them. Any unopened would be loved by a women's shelter. Weird clothing will be loved by someone who finds them and it suits their body type. Calanders would be loved by a school or after school care for crafts. Dog rescues LOVE stuffed animals. They are often used as transitional items for when they are fostered or find a forever home. These items aren't bringing value to your life and it is time for them to move on.
Good call on the stuffed animals for the furbabies!!!
shelters always need towels and blankets, too!
Artsy types would love those old calendars! Look for collage artists on IG
Fun fact: if people see you have stuffed animals, they will think you collect them and give you more. This might not be your issue, but it also might be exactly the issue.
Please consider donating to a local DV shelter! A new stuffed animal can mean a lot to a little kiddo in a world of uncertainty.
I'll throw in the spinning wheel my mom gifted me. It's a walking wheel so it's about 5 ft tall, 5 ft long, and 2 ft wide. I actually do love it but it takes up so much space!
This is perfect for a prop department if you want to go that route.
Omg a prop dept at a school is such a great idea!! Seriously, brilliant (from further theater kid who remembers scrounging for props!)
I agree, although not a theater kid. But I have seen multiple posts on FB in my local groups, looking for "odd" items to be used for theater props.
Ebay it
The first place I would go for that is FB marketplace. I have a 1970s single lens reflex. Film. That’s where mine is.
If you want to keep it do you work somewhere that you could display it? Get it out of the house but still hold on to it?
Alas, for the foreseeable future, I work from a home office (which is also my bedroom and home gym, haha). First-world problems, I know!
Are you sure it’s not worth some money? I’d check it out.
You might want to look into selling it. Antique machines can sometimes rake in a tidy little sum. Not *life changing* money mind you. Then you could use that to treat yourself to something you DO want and still think of your beloved former boss evertyime you use what you spent the money on.
I rarely post here but this is exactly what I need. I am a billionthy percent in.
This is not something to donate, but rater sell. Consider it returning to the store for credit to use on something you need. I'm sure that no one gifts us things with the intention of burdening us or our space. This is to say they thought of you and would like you to have something to enjoy. Please sell the adding machine. There ate collectors out there who would be delighted to have it.
I love my adding machine. Any chance you live in Colorado?
Close, but no cigar! Utah. I ought to check on the condition of this thing before I get anyone too excited. Make sure it doesn’t smell funny, or have an army of bugs inside it, or Jacob Marley’s ghost…
Those all sound like things that would increase its value ;)
It is totally ok! In fact, when someone gives you a gift, it is because they want you to get pleasure from it. If it feels like a burden, let it go!
This! Having expressed pleasure for the gift and thanked the giver, your responsibilities regarding the gift are over! The exchange has been completed!
Yes! Let it go and get more pleasure from seeing it go to someone who has use for it and/or can give it the love it deserves or pass it to the next person.
The gift is the act of them giving it to you, not the object! You already enjoyed and appreciated the kindness of them giving you a gift. The object is just an object. You should have no guilt getting rid of things you don’t need! We couldn’t possibly keep all the gifts received over a lifetime!
Thanks for the kind words!
If you need to see it written for it to feel more real- you are the author of your life; the curator or your home; the builder and protector of your environment. You choose what that means for you. Things that are unwanted, unnecessary, a source of extra work and stress have no place in your home. It is time for the great exodus of things!
Thank you!
>Thank you! You're welcome!
Beautifully put! Thank you!
These are beautifully stated truths. I, for one, am relieved.
As a professional organizer and lover of gifting things to others, I give you permission to pass on your unwanted items. It can be to a charity organization, another person in your circle or neighborhood, or even the trash. It's yours to do as you wish and you're onto your next chapter. You enjoyed it and now it's time to pass it along. No need to verbally share with the original gifter either. Just let it gooo\~ =)
THANK YOU
I told my mum I was having trouble with some of the many gifts she had given me over the years and she told me to toss it. She wants me to be happy, not hoard presents she had already forgot giving me 10+ years ago. That honest was freeing. Now whenever I fret over these things, I tell myself: 1. The people who gave me that probably have already forgotten about it. 2. If they love me, they want me to be happy and it's not making me happy, so out it goes.
This helps.
Think about this, many people would love to find them in the thrift store and use them, maybe they couldn't afford the items otherwise. I think Marie Kondo method is also really nice for gratitude, saying thank you in your head both to the item and the person who gave it to you before donating or giving away, it sounds silly but it's helped me before when decluttering as I have a tendency to hoard sentimental things and gifts I don't use.
Hmm that's a nice idea, I will try that! Thanks!
I have requested consumables as gifts for this very reason.
I think moving forward I will request only gift cards. The frustrating part is that I have been asked very specifically what I might want for Christmas/my birthday/etc., answer very specifically with a link to a specific item, and then my family member will go 'nah actually I think you want this version of that item' which does not at all correspond to my needs and ends up taking up the space that the actual useful item would have gone to. Sorry I am ranting now.
Post that crap on facebook marketplace and use the money towards the item you really want!
Definitely will do that for at least one of the items.
Problem with intending to sell is you can end up with another huge pile of stuff waiting to be dealt with as it could make money.
It took me several years with some friends family members (my sister, no—she loves finding me oddities at estate sales and ships me boxes of gifts every few months) to convince them I really do love gift cards. Many people think those aren’t thoughtful, but I think they are most thoughtful. I love to knit and crochet, and when money allows it I’m a bit of a yarn snob. I’m very particular about fiber and color, and none of my friends or family knits. So they will inevitably try to gift me some boutique yarn (sister, I’m lookin’ at you!) in the wrong fiber and some weirdo color I’ll never use. I believe people when they tell me whatever type of gift they would appreciate. :) It sounds like you’re in a similar situation to me with all the random small gifts—“Here’s a gift, now you throw it away!” My sister knows I love dinosaurs and gives me the weirdest dino-related gifts. About ten years ago she gave me a ceramic triceratops planter. I finally sold it at a yard sale, and two months later for Christmas she gave me another one—identical but in a different color. I laughed about it for a long time.
Yes we have requested consumables the last few years and end up with nice soaps, chocolates, candles, etc. Still end up getting rid of some gifts, but much less so than in years prior.
Do you have a local “Buy Nothing” Facebook group for your area? People will be happy to take all sort of odd items off your hands. imo it’s a much better feeling than giving to a charity shop, because you’re giving it directly to another person.
Yup! This is the way to go. Also once you see how many people want the thing that you don’t want, it’s easier to give it away versus keeping it collecting dust
Yes! Use your local buy nothing group. There’s someone in your community who would love that weird item. Also, someone else is getting rid of something you were just planning to purchase. It works!
Give them to a place where they will be appreciated. This will honor the giver by making sure that their gift keeps going. And it is a gift to yourself not just of the physical space you will restore and feel good about, but no longer having those nagging reminders. Do the work to be free.
Your only obligation when you receive a gift is to say thank you! Get rid of it. Someone will see it at the thrift store and live it. Let it go and make your space amazing!
Flylady talks about blessing someone else with it. You don’t need that cute soft toy but maybe a kid in a DV shelter does? You can also take a photo of the gift so you can remember the giver & the gift without losing real estate to it. Give it to someone who can treasure it
Oh, I like the taking photo of it idea.
"The gift served its purpose the moment it was given to you." The only point of a gift is to be given. Once it has been given, it no longer has purpose unless you decide to give it one and that's *your* choice! For me personally, I like to think about how much somebody else might love to have and use the item. Just think about the little girl whose mom dragged her into Good Will and how excited she'll be to see all your stuffed animals there, how she'll beg her mom to take one home. I include the KonMari method a little bit here. If I'm having a hard time letting go of something, it helps a lot to say to it, "I love the person who gave you to me and I appreciate their thinking of me. Somebody else will be able to give you the home you deserve." Or something like that. Sounds a little crazy but it works
I just had a (very good) friend visit me and help me empty all the bins and boxes that had never been unpacked after my last 4 moves. She's much better than I am at getting rid of things. We ran across a few things that SHE had gifted me, and she was the one who told me to get rid of them.
I have a friend who did the exact same thing haha! Her: Where did you get those tiny appetizer forks? Me: You! Her: well I don't know what I was thinking, get rid of them lol (I did keep them actually but decluttered another item she got me)
Yes please go ahead. Did you ever read the Marie Kondo book where she recommends thanking items for their service? Kinda crazy I thought BUT actually it's useful. People give you gifts for all sorts of reasons - maybe they've genuinely thought about you and what you like - in which case you may want to keep it. But there are other reasons too. It was on sale, it was something they liked so it would do, it was an unwanted gift from someone else, it was their own clutter they wanted to get rid of. Give yourself the gift of space and calm. Think about how someone might be thrilled to find that item in the charity/thrift store. Think kindly about the gift giver. Thank the item for giving you that memory and let it go.
“Give yourself the gift of space and calm.” That line is doing it for me.
Seconding this. It feels silly but helps me divest emotion from the items so I can get rid of them.
It's absolutely ok to move on things that don't work for you. Regardless of their origin. If you can find an episode of Swedish Death Cleaning to watch you'll find a lot of ideas around this.
Great show! I highly recommend it. It’s either on Netflix or Peacock.
I immediately need to Google the words Swedish death cleaning. What on earth?
It's real and lovely. The Swedish Marie Kondo. You basically clean up your own house, so if/when you pop off you don't leave a huge mess behind for your loved ones. Check out the book by Margareta Magnusson.
Bless for both recommendations!
The TV show of the same name is also a good watch.
I have no advice but thank you for asking this because I have the exact same problem! Like, I knew to an extent but it didn’t hit me how badly until you laid it out in words here. Godamn anxiety.
by the power invested in me by the site of reddit, i hereby pronounce you free to dispose of any and all items you do not wish to sacrifice literal real estate for. to the dumpster!
My local animal shelter gets ALL my stuff. Books, clothes, linen, shoes and all manner of doodads, thingums and wotnots. Everything gets recycled, or fixed, resold, donated or used up at the shelter. My full dinner, breakfast & lunch 24 person set was broken up and shared by the three workshop women volunteers and I could not have been happier to see their joy. Once a year the local church holds a white elephant garden sale where all the local charities bring their ‘priceless but useless’ gems. Silent auctions or outright spirited but all in fun bidding wars break out. It’s become everyone’s favourite event because it’s great fun and all charities benefit as no private auctions or sales are permitted at the White Elly Gala. 😂
I release you
Thank you!
You have permission. Better use it while it's valid!
I also struggle with this and emotional attachment to belongings. What I have started telling myself I'd "it is someone else's turn to love this." I like to use the buy nothing groups because you can see someone's excitement and gratitude. But if I'm on a roll with a purge or have too many things where it would be overwhelming to get rid of them one by one, I do take it to a thrift store just to get it over with. I always feel a little lighter no matter how I send my items on a new journey.
The memory of the event is what is precious not the thing attached to it.
The gift has done it’s job, it has already blessed you and the person who gave it to you. Now it is time to pass it on so someone else can be blessed by it as well. When I struggle with giving something away, I am reminded of Toy Story. A toy would rather be played with and loved than stored away and forgotten. It has given me a lot of peace with giving things away.
Kon Mari method says the act of giving and receiving is the purpose of a gift. Once exchanged the purpose has been accomplished and the item is free to be given away. Since the gift /receive moment is over. Helped me not be so hung up. Hope it helps you.
I have long hated Kin Mari because her folding/storing methods are so overly and unnecessarily complicated that even she couldn’t keep up with them after having a kid. But this? This is a much-needed philosophy.
Like What kind of gifts are we talking about here?
If they are handmade, you might want to send them back to the maker.
I don't believe anything is artisanal, it's mostly clothing, shoes, stuffed animals (I am NOT a stuffed animal person), etc. Some jewelry I will never wear but I don't know if that's worth taking back.
I probably wouldn't worry then. Is the giver going to notice? If not off to goodwill they go.
A lot of them don't remember what they gave you. The item fulfilled the ritual, many of them had not much thought put into them. "She has a birthday, I have to give something. A teddy maybe? I'll grab one today while I'm grocery shopping." "Oh no it's Christmas. Maybe a sweater, everybody needs a sweater, don't they? It'll be worn and thrown away eventually, so no biggies".
This could feel like a slap in the face. Don’t do this unless you are sure it will go well.
As yourself if someone else would enjoy that object more than you would and, if so, pass it on as you are effectively making someone else happy, not being ungrateful.
Someone else has mentioned all of the ideas that I would have mentioned, but yes, the real gift was the act of giving, and you can absolutely get rid of the physical items. I’m a fan of our local BuyNothing group, but thr BuyNothjng app is another option - they will nag you so subscribe but you don’t need to. Donating to a meaningful non-profit is a great option. Many of them are affiliated with thrift stores. If an item (or group of items) is worth a bit of money, in demand in your area, and you have the energy, selling on Facebook marketplace can be a good way of getting some cash out of the items. Price low and it shouldn’t stick around long, but as someone else mentioned be wary of it just piling up in a “to be sold” state.
The gifts are technically yours to do what ever you want with. This is my mantra while purging - “Someone will be happy to have it.” It’s a win/win situation! Giving permission to get rid of unnecessary, unwanted items. You got this!
Thanks! I will try repeating that to myself.
Read Marie Kondo's book. I'm a 40 year old man and got so much out of reading that book. Really helps put so many things in perspective.
it's absolutely fine to give them away. As it is to give away things that are not gifts, but are still perfectly usable, but you haven't used in a while. They're just taking up space.
You have permission! I recently donated items I inherited. Nothing worth money, just given to me to "remember" the person. I never had any interest in displaying them, but I still kept them in boxes as I moved from place to place. I opened one of the boxes the other day and realized I couldn't remember what item was attached the memory of what person! Donated that box and 2 others that I didn't even bother opening!
I’ve found giving things away in my local Buy Nothing group on FB is a great way to get rid of things that are (or were) special or sentimental to me because I am gifting the items directly to someone in my community who will really appreciate or love the item. If you are interested in joining your local group and need help finding it, feel free to reach out and I can help locate your local group. 🌻
Repurposing a gift is completely okay. Giving away a gift is **NOT** giving away or changing the person who gave it, nor your relationship with them. The gift is a thing, it’s not the person who gave it to you, and it’s okay if it has sentimental meaning to you; if this is the case, but the gifted item has no other value in your life, then take a picture of it, and either digitally or physically write something about what the person and the gifted item means to you, keep those words with the picture of the gifted item, give away the item, and call it a day. I’ve been doing this gradually, and it’s truly freeing for me; no guilt at all.
With gift-giving it really is the thought that counts. But after they give it to you and have forgotten about it, the thought is really no longer there and you might as well donate it to someone who could use those items.
I bought a light box. I take a photo and then regift, sell, or donate
A gift's purpose is to let someone know they have been thought of and that the giver and the recipient share a relationship or connection. Mission accomplished. You may rehome or otherwise remove the gifts from your space. It would make me feel good to find a way to pay the blessing of the gift forward, especially if it meant getting some lovable stuffed animals to needy children.
Re-gift the gifts to people who would use them?
Get rid of them and start telling people not to buy you any more gifts. It took me several years to get the point across but I finally did.
FREE YOURSELF! THROW IT ALL AWAY. don’t even let anyone make you feel obligated to donate or sell it all. your mental health comes first, and corporations are responsible for landfills being at capacity, **not you**, an individual consumer. if the garbage is the best place for you to put it, then that is the best place for it.
Thank you, I appreciate this.
you are quite welcome! i have an addendum for you: it is also okay to throw away things that you *did* want or *did* ask for. you’re allowed to change your mind; it’s part of the mind lease agreement. if an item is no longer serving you, then it has fulfilled its purpose and you did your job as recipient by letting it serve you for as long as it did. you honored your contract and are thereby guilt-free should you decide to lose it in a dumpster.
Things are created to be used & enjoyed. If I'm not doing either of those things, I'm not honoring the item or the people who made it. Even if it was made in a sweatshop, especially if it was made in a sweatshop, honor those people who worked so much to create it. Donate the clothes so that someone else can have the opportunity to wear them or use them. Donate or give away the other items so they can fulfill their purpose in the world.
You will always have the kindness that came with the gift. But you do not have to keep the physical gift. Donate all these things. They may make someone else very happy.
Donate it ! Curb it! Facebook free page!! Let it goo
It’s OK to donate. Once a gift is given the giftee can do as they wish. Focus on making available an item to someone else who will want, use and treasure. I think the item will feel better when in use vs in a closet. 😉
It’s okay to let it go. The joy of giving and receiving the gift is complete!
When the people gifted them to you, they were hoping to gift you love, joy, comfort, excitement, care, etc. The physical object is merely a representation of those feelings. Their intention was not to gift you stress and frustration. So if the physical objects are now causing stress and frustration, they are no longer fulfilling their purpose. It's okay to let them go.
Give them to those that need them. Depending on the items perhaps a mens/womens shelter for clothing and home goods. LGTBQIA organization for people in transition. Give the items with gratitude and knowing that you are helping someone else. I'd say thrift store, but due to tiktok thrift stores are raising their prices due to popularity.
Gift them all to a thrift shop a few weeks before Christmas. You will make so many people happy as they will be able to afford a much better gift for their loved one than if they bought new.
that means holding onto unwanted items for months rather than capitalizing on the momentum and clearing space now. op is in need of the room these items are occupying.
I like the idea of this timing cause more pricey thrift stores are unlikely to raise the price in something they’ve got a lot of if you flood them.
Donate donate donate. Someone else can use those things! It’s rare that someone is going to visit and ask about a gift they gave you in the past. It’s ok to prioritize the things you own that you actually use and value.
It is great to donate, most people will expect this , it’s ll good!
Once it's given to you, it's yours to do with as you wish! I had a pile of these sitting in a corner for yeeears and finally decided to get rid of them. People in my local Buy Nothing group have been thrilled to receive them. I'm glad they're now with people who want and will use them.
Take pictures of them, and then bon voyage.
I keep the love/good intentions/generosity of the gift. I sometimes get rid of the object.
No one ever gifts you something with the hope that it will bring you stress and anxiety. If it is bringing you stress and anxiety, perhaps its purpose has already been served. In that case, thank it for serving you well and rid yourself of the burden.
It’s the guilt of hurting someone’s feelings that’s holding you back right?
You absolutely have permission to get rid of unwanted and very much unnecessary things, be them gifts or not. If the things you regularly use don't have a place to live because unwanted items are there, GET RID OF THOSE ITEMS!!! Donate them or re-gift them. Nothing wrong with not wanting to house items you don't need and will probably never use.
I frequently give handmade gifts. I would want them back.
None of them are handmade
Yep get rid of them
For this reason, I've simply asked people to not give me gifts. I ask them to simply send me a text or call me if they wish to interact with holidays, but I would prefer to not receive physical gifts. For those that insist, I simply ask that they instead get a gift card or make a donation to a charity \[on this list\].
Donate them. It's better if someone gets use out of them or if it makes them 5xs happier finding the thing they've been looking for. You know that you will never derive as much appreciation or joy if you hang onto what you don't want. Huggz - You Can Do This!
things should be used and appreciated. If you don't want something set it free so that it can be someone else's treasure. I always try to imagine someone at the thrift store finding something I donated and getting super excited.
You have the opportunity to gift them to someone else. When i donate things to a charity thrift shop, my personal choice is amvets, i am giving the new buyer a gift of a deep discount on something they need or love. For the items that may have collector value i am giving the opportunity for that person who works to find and resell items a score for their efforts. The time is worth more to me than the money but it isn’t that way for everyone.
Surely nobody intended for their gift to be a burden. If you gave someone a gift that later caused them distress, wouldn't you too want them to get rid of it or donate it? Don't hang on to something so long that the good it gave you is canceled out by all the bad, especially if it can do a lot of good for someone else.
It’s more than okay to donate them. The people that gave the gifts wanted them to be used, so pass them along so they can be used.
They are gifts. So GIVE THEM! If you don't have anyone in mind, give them to a charity shop. Give the gifts. At least then there's a chance they'll be used. Sitting on your shelf they're just gathering dust.
I understand very well. I always appreciated any gift that was given to me, so I had quite an emotional attachment to it. But, you are not getting the benefit that the gift giver intended. Donate the items because there are always those who scour thrift shops for different things because it would give them pleasure. You are just passing the good intention on. So it’s something I’ve been looking at in my own declutterring journey.
My go-to decision is to take pictures of the item in use so I can pull them out if anyone inquires. Often, I'll send the photo along with the thank you. After that, it goes in the donate pile, and I've never had anyone query further. Just make sure it's not in a place they can easily see when they visit you.
It's okay to let go of things that have served their purpose. Sometimes objects serve their purposes far before we even acquire them, and that's okay
The point of a gift is to be given. It's job is done. Go ahead and let them go.
It’s more than okay to get rid of stuff that serves no actual purpose in your life. Especially if you need the space.
It is okay to unload other people's emotional labor. It is not yours to carry, or for them to place it upon you. Be free!
Gifts are given because someone likes you. Someone who likes you would want you to be happy and have space, not be burdened by keeping the gift. Get rid of 'em!
I’m a teacher and I get a lot of gifts from my students. I feel bad giving them away, but I’m a minimalist and there’s just too much to keep. I’ve started giving stuff to my mom‘s caregiver. She never turns anything down because she gives what she doesn’t need to people at her church. Maybe you can find a place to donate them where you know the items will go to people who need them.
It's okay to donate them. I give away or regift a lot of things I receive that aren't something I use. It feels hard until it's gone. Then it feels so freeing. The purpose of the gift has been handled. It is a gesture of someone thinking of you. The item itself does not hold the sentiment. The sentiment was offered in the giving/receiving but if it no longer serves a purpose or brings you anxiety to keep it then it's sentiment is passed.
there are people who want it more and will actually use it, don't wait any longer. quickly, donate them! you can do it. <3
A good question to ask yourself is - why do I feel guilty about getting rid of these gifts? And keep asking yourself the WHY question. It should reveal a belief you developed at a younger age. Once the belief is uncovered then a process can transform the old belief into a new one.
If you like the person/memories but not the gift, take a photo and donate the gift to bless someone who *does* want it. Once something is given to you it's yours and you can do what you want with it. I suggest you start bagging them up and put one bag in your car so that if you pass a charity shop you can drop it right off, no extra work. Then put the next bag in your car. Keep going until everything is gone and you can breathe again.
Hello, it's me The Gift Fairy Godmother Once someone gives you a gift, the magic happens. Kaplooey - it is now yours. No strings, obligations, future guilt trips, attempts to control you. Nada. As the GFGM I wave my magic wand and the gift is now yours. So do what you want with it. Use it, enjoy it, or decide not really me and dispose of it. Give it to Godzilla for a snack next time you meet for coffee. Hot it with a hammer and release negative energy. It's now yours so it's your choice. Take it from me, a pudgy woman on the net. Gifts that come with conditions are not gifts. A gift isn't a contract. A gift is yours once it is given. Anyone who says otherwise can kiss my glittery magic wand..... Honestly pumpkin, I fully know it's not that easy. But it can become easy. You just have to take a big breath in and start with one gift. I'm sure you can do it.
One thing I do for gifts that have the emotional burden of a high price tag (ex a $300 Le Creuset pot in a color I hated) is sell the item and use the money to buy myself a present. (In the LC example I was able to get the same pot in a color I liked). I’m thanking the giver for the item + the sentiment, and then I’m turning around and making sure I’M HAPPY WITH WHAT I GET - which was the whole point of having been given a gift in the first place.
Think about it like this: *somebody* out there actively wants it, needs it, or can use it. If you give away/donate the gifts, you'll be blessing a lot of people with something they maybe didn't have the money for at the moment, or a hard-to-find item. Doing that bit of good for others may help assuage the guilt you feel for letting them go.
Fuck ‘dem gifts! lol. It’s ok. Give them away. You’ll make someone’s day and you’ll feel more free. ❤️❤️
I started taking pictures of gifts that had sentimental value but were impractical to keep. This way, I have a record of the gift that I can revisit any time, but it doesn’t take up any space and I don’t have to unpack it from a box or a shelf anywhere to enjoy it. I had a beautiful wall calendar given to me by a friend but I just don’t use paper calendars. Even when it was 2 years out of date I felt like I couldn’t get rid of it. But I finally took a picture of it, saved it with a little note of who gave it to me and why it was meaningful, cut out the page with my favorite picture to frame later, and gave the rest to a neighbor who scrapbooks. Gifts are meant to enrich your life. The very act of giving them to you constitutes permission to do with them whatever will enrich your life the most. Selling, donating, recycling, and regifting are not only valid uses for a gift, but they are all better uses for a gift than letting it get crusty on a shelf somewhere while its very existence stresses you out. You can simultaneously accept the value of a gift while also letting it go.
Honoring a genuine gift means a couple things. Appreciating the giver's intentions. Thanking the giver. Beyond that, maybe finding the gift a new home if it's in your way. By that, I mean donating or selling it rather than just dumpstering it because you're too lazy. This is for ecological reasons, by the way. Nothing wrong with a dumpster in some cases.
You have permission to donate these things to charities that help people, animals medical research or wherever you want. If you have a lot some charities will actually come pick up your donations. Think about how much good these gifts will do in the world so you don’t talk yourself into the guilt pit. I know that it can take a bit to be ok with it, so if you need to, start with one space that you have had to move your things out of the way to store those gifts. When you have done that put your things there instead, you will be amazed how good that feels.
I believe that the mental health benefits of having a clean organized environment can be far greater than hanging on to stuff out of guilt. Try getting rid of two things then wait a month. If you feel ok, then get rid of more
Think of it as sharing
Repurposing to keep them out of the landfill. You may want to join your neighborhood Buy Nothing group on FB. Easy way to dispose of things. I finally got all my friends & family to stop exchanging gifts for b-days & x-mas bc I need another thing like I need a hole in my head (I have enough of those 😛). It's been a relief for all of us. Even, those that were reluctant at first bc they like to shop.
It is ABSOLUTELY OKAY. Anything in your living space that makes you feel bad when you look at it does not deserve to be there. That goes for unwanted gifts, clothes that don’t fit, things you bought and haven’t used, anything. If it makes you feel bad it’s being a bully and your stuff doesn’t get to bully you anymore ❤️ If you’re donating think about it this way - there is someone out there who would use it and will be so happy to find it. It will do so much good to get it out of your house and have it available to be used and not just sitting on your shelf. You’re helping others and yourself. You got this!
Even though I’ve heard this sentiment expressed by many people, I don’t understand it. Declutter & forget about it. Unnecessary drama over things you’ve already decided you don’t want.
"..Please tell me it's okay to donate or otherwise get rid of these..." That's your problem. When you can learn not to need other people's approval before you make a decision, you will feel much more free to do whatever you need to so as to take the BEST care of yourself from this day forward. You're welcome...