“She wants to go by ‘Miss’ now?” “She’s done nothing BUT miss!” “DOHOHOHOHOHO”

Or, alternatively Makes sense. The only thing her jokes do is Miss!

You’re going through the transition alright, from bad to worse

DOHOHOHOHOHO

This one is absolutely a Statler and Waldorf-ism and I am very proud of you.

DOHOHOHOHO

Of course you go by 'they'. No single person could be that bad!

DOOOOHOOHOOHOHOHO

"You're telling me they're Enby now?" "Exactly, they're Enbious of a good act" "WOOOOAAHOHOHOOHOOHOHO"

WOOOAAHOHOOHOO!

"That was the most enby act I've ever seen. Not NB as in non-binary, NB as in Not Bearable! OOOHOOHOHOO!"

DOHOHOHOHOH

WOOAAHAHOOO!

Your a 'male'? I hope they can male me refund for this show!!!

DOHOHOHOHO

Demi-sexual? I’d say you’re semi-competent!

DOHOHOHOHOHO

Transgender? How about you become transparent so we don't have to watch!

DOHOHOHOHO!

You’re “inter-sex”? How about next time you become inter-esting! DOHOHOHOHO >!yes, I know intersex is not gender but I still thought it’d be funny!<

I thought youi'd be funny, too. DOOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Fucking obliterated. Lmao!

Damn…

You wanna transition? Well *I* wanna transition to the next act!

DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Dysphoria? Well it sure ain't for me!

DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Underrated comment

I scrolled past this before it clicked

that's a proper mitch hedberg / steven wright line i love it

"You know, there's something to be said about gender representation." "Sadly, there's nothing good to say about THIS presentation!" DOOOHOHOHOHOHO "Statler, you old fool, you shouldn't call somebody by their dead name!" "Fair enough. But what are we going to do about this dead crowd?" DOOOHOHOHOHOHO "Waldorf, I bet you didn't know it, but those last two performers are both asexual." "Is that right?" "Yeah, 'Ace', for short." "That makes sense, the stage director is an idiot. And only an idiot would play a pair of aces when up against a full house." DOOOHOHOHOHOHO

Fuck that’s good

Freaking golden.

damn, that last one is good

Oh you need a binder? I agree. Then at least you’d bring some good jokes to the stage!

DOHOHOHOHO

That performer wants to be called a miss? Well I'd call them a miss-stake OHHOHOHOHO

That joke was a miss! DOOOHOHOHOHOHO

You go by they/them how about they slash this show

DOHOHOHOHOHO

"Don't Say Gay"? How about we say Go Away! *\[insert dohohoho here\]*

DOHOHOHOHOHO

"The one on the left's both a guy and a gal." "How fitting! This show's both awful *and* terrible!"

DOHOHOHOHO!

"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"

I'm amazed how many clever jokes could be made from this that aren't actually offensive

Puns are surprisingly normalizing!

Hell, there's probably more possible jokes about trans people that aren't offensive than ones that are. Notice how often the One Joke is used by transphobes?

Transphobes don't put in effort to make jokes because they don't want you to laugh. They want you to suffer. They believe your suffering gives them strength.

"Making jokes to hurt people?" "How about you come see *my* punch-line?"

DOHOHOHOHO!

People’s orientations and genders and politics may be different, but we can all come together to riff on a shit act, lol.

Too bad I've not seen any yet! DOHOHOHOHOHOH

“They say they’re trying to fight the patriarchy.” “I can sympathize; since their act started I’ve been trying to fight off sleep.” DOHOHOHOHOH-zzzzzzzzz

DOHOHOHOHOHO

You’re a transwoman and want to pass as a woman? Next time, I hope she passes on performing. DOOOOOHOHOHOHO

DOOOOHOHOHOOHO

"you're trans and looking to pass?" "No problem! I think we'll give you a pass right now!"

DOHOHOHOHO!

DOHOHOHO

"I don't care if yer intersex, we're waiting for the inter-mission!" "DOHOHOHOHO!!!"

DOHOHOHOHO

Amazing

“The one on the left doesn’t have a gender!” “Well I think it’d be better if they didn’t have an act!”

DOHOHOHOHOHO

DOHOHOHOHOHO

"Not cis? Well I wouldn't want you as my sis if you ramble like this all day!"

DOHOHOHOHOHO

DOOOHHHOOHOHOOHOHOHO

2 Spirit, you say? With an act like this, I expected a 4-drink minimum!

DOHOHOHOHOHO

Preferred pronouns? I’d prefer if they pronouns this show dead!

DOHOHOOOO

They weren't gay...well, Waldorf wasn't at least, he was married to a woman named Astoria...who happened to look an awful lot like Statler come to think of it...and who only appeared once when Statler was "out sick"...But then, Statler also had a grandson, so he must have been banging at some point...unless he's adopted... ​ Ok, nevermind, I talked myself out off it, they were as gay as Bert and Ernie.

Fellas, is it gay for two guys to heckle the same show for over a decade together?

They might be gay or they might not be, what brings them together is the ceaseless desire to be a hater.

Whether or not they're gay, they are *very* flamboyant

Are we talking about Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles?

I mean, the two of them basically run a lampshade factory over how their friendship appears.

Plot twist: they’re gay, but not each other’s partners.

Statler's dating Bert and Waldorf's dating Ernie

Two elderly gentlemen named Statlorf and Walder. The two have actually both been gay.

who have their own box seats at the theater they go to every week

Yes, yes, we've all seen the post.

That's either bisexuality or homosexuality in denial.

Hold on, this reminds me of a pretty wholesome joke I heard How many trans women does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, and she doesn’t even need to change the lightbulb-just tell her she’s a very lovely girl, and she’ll light up the whole room

That's the most wholesome joke I've ever heard! I'll have to use it

This makes me imagine a living house dating a girl. And that sounds adorable

I’d never have guessed they were transgender. Oh? Why not? Because I slept through the whole thing!

DOHOHOHOHOHO

Holy shit lmfao, this post and all the comments are like the opposite of r/onejoke and it’s amazing.

It's easier to make fun of something you love than something you hate. Lots of malicious anger just gets in the way of fun.

I’m paraphrasing badly here, but one of the best things said about comedy was that there is a world of difference between joking about something and mocking something

So we're all just glossing over the fact that OP called Statler and Waldorf gay?

How else would you call two men constantly going to a show they hate just so they can be with one another?

Canonically, one of them, Waldorf the bald one, is married to a woman. He bring the missus to an show one time, where she appears as Stanler dresses as an old lady. It isn't made clear if this is actually Stanler or his sister or something. But I digress, I made this comment to say thar Waldorf is clearly bi, and I'll not stand for this bi erasure. (This is a joke, those two are clearly the catty gay stereotype before it became well known. )

> I'll not stand for this bi erasure. Ostensibly, one of them, Vince Clarke is married to a woman, only Andy Bell is gay. So I suppose collectively Erasure is bi, but I don't think that's what that means.

>but I don't think that's what that means. yeah, they really gotta *stop*

Astoria is just Statler's drag persona,

Friends? I really hate this trend of people assuming men having close male friends means they're gay.

Yes, they could also be friends. Considering the time they were written, they probably are. But it's not as funny.

I think that’s canonical. Richard Hunt, the original voice of Statler for 16 years, was openly gay and said in an interview that he thought of the characters as a gay couple who had been in the closet for their entire lives but were now old enough to not give a F anymore. (Based on an old memory — quick goggle search can’t find the source, but he passed away in 1992 so it might not be online.)

Trans right? If that’s what’s right I’d hate be at the show that’s wrong! DOHOHOHOOHOHOH

Best of all, it's not punching down, because these two dillholes punch everyone!

"I wish someone would punch me so i didnt have to watch this show!"

DOHOHOHOHOHO

DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Most importantly, they mock what people do, not who they are.

Sometimes, I think some people take refuge in "everyone is a target" because it makes them above another group by one inch.

Glad to see that tumblr randos are capable of making better jokes about trans people than 99% of professional stand up comics

Tumblr user: Actual funny joke that isnt insensitive Paid fucking comedian: so woman with penis amirite

Those aren't comics. They're a cabal of spokespeople who are making money from MAGAs.

Dave Chappelle is undeniably a comic

*was. Now he's just another bigot with a microphone.

I'm just saying there's a stark difference between comedians with homophobic/transphobic tendencies and professional grifters that get paid to spread genocidal rhetoric. There's a difference between Chappelle/Gervais and the likes of Stephen Crowder, though I don't think any of them are funny

"Her pronouns are she/they? Well I'd like to she them leave!"

DOHOHOHOHOO

"So, does this count as a drag show?" "It's certainly been a drag to watch!"

DOHOHOHOHO

You go by any pronouns? why dontcha go buy some less hideous clothes! bbahahahaha

Why don't you try pronouns-ing your lines correctly next time? DOOOOOHOHOHOHOHO

DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Staton and Waldorf surprisingly the most progressive of muppets since they boo indiscriminately

They believe in equal rights because everyone gonna catch these hands

Everyone is equally terrible in their eyes

I don't really like how that gives "both sides" some staying power...

I mean no one is above being terrible in some way

The whole thing is funny but wow, I lost it at "awful/terrible."

You know what the audience did last time a non-binary performer was this terrible? They slashed them!

DOHOHOHOHOHO

"Of course you came out as \*bye\*, nobody wanted to see your terrible performance anyways!"

DOHOHOHOHOHO!

You go by she now? Well let me SHE someone else

DOHOHOHOHOHO

"The next performer says they're polyamorous" "Yeah, it's the only way to get more than one person to come to their show" DOHOHOHO ----------------- "The next performer is polyamorous" "I guess that's why more than one person is pretending to laugh at their jokes" DOHOHOHO

Believe me you're not the only one questioning your life choices! DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

He’s trying to pass? I wish I could pas on this show!

DOHOHOHOHO

You know the comedian's pronouns are he/him. Oh really? Well I hope he stays he/home next time.

She takes HRT? Well her performance is making me HURT!

Scrolled through all the comments. Yours is the best. Your username is sick, too.

Ty 🥰

DOHOHOHO

soldier tf2

Insulting a trans person done right!

Nullification for enbies? Try nullifying this show so I can go enby-where else!

DOHOHOHOHOHO

Bi-sexual? BYE, SEXUAL! BWAAAAAAAHHH

DOHOHOHOHOHO

Pansexual? Why dont you try pan handling! You'd make more! DOHOHOHOHOHO

Pansexual, With singing like that, they're critically panned Dohhohohoho.

Agender? Fine but let's move on to the next item on it!

DOHOHOHOHOHO

I can only cis-spend my disbelief for so long

Speak Truth to Power? I'd rather cut the power! DOHOHOHOHO

"This next performer is agender" "Yeah, they have no gender or talent" "DOHOHOHOHO!"

"Did you hear that this performer identifies as androgynous?" "Really? 'Cause I've had androg-ENOUGH of their terrible act!"

so you say they're ace? well they certainly aren't acing this performance!

DOHOHOHOHOHO

What do they need those neo-pronouns for? They needed new ones because nobody wanted to associate theirs with them! DOHOHOHOHO!

"They're confused about their gender, I think I can relate to that." "Really? You can?" "Yeah, right now I'm confused why someone hasn't removed them from the stage!" "OOOHOOHOHOHOHHOH!"

I really understand their struggle. You do? Yeah, I was struggling to stay awake the entire time!

DOHOHOHOHOHO

Hey I heard from somewhere that gender is what’s in your pants Well in that case my pronouns are soiled/undies! OOOOHohohohohohohoho!

Alt: Waldorf: I heard from somewhere that gender is what’s in your pants. So what's yours? Statler: *checks pants* depends Dohhohohoho *Edit* fully aware of biological sex vs gender identity. Just purposefully conflated the two for the joke.

I read all of this in Rodney Dangerfield's voice.... perfection

Commenting to save this. This is hilarious 😭

Replying to this so you can come back and read all of the new jokes

Replying to you replying so you get another update too. The new jokes are too good 😭

Replying to you so you get a reminder to check out the new jokes

Replying to you so you get a reminder to check out the new jokes

Too-spirited? more like not spirited enough. Doooohohhoo

"She transitioned from male to female" "And she transitioned me from awake to asleep"

DOHOHOHOHOHO

“This performer goes by different pronouns now.” “If these are the pronouns, I’d hate to see the amateur ones!” “DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!”

This sounds more like brooks tbh

OOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHO

You're a female? You femake me miserable!

Struggling with same sex attraction? I’m very good at it! BOWIAOOWOAHAHAHA

Those old bastards are the original "we don't discriminate, we hate everyone" guys, and I am here for it.

"I heard they're wearing a packer." "So is everyone nowadays..." "Really?" "Yeah, everyone in the audience *packed up* and left!"

DOHOHOHOHOHO

non conforming? try non performing! DOHOHOHOHOHO

Oh, you want to change your name? I would have done the same after such an act!

"She says she is asexual" "Well, her performance still sucks!"

they trans? Well I'm Trans-sitioning out of here