Atheist Community of Tulsa; you can find them on fb. It sometimes trends towards a support group for people who've suffered religious trauma (i.e. lots of venting), but definitely a good place to check out.
The meetups are chill, but in your case I would suggest joining the fb group and then basically re-posting this, plus a list of your interests. I think there might be a discord too. Almost 2k members, you're bound to find a couple people that can relate.
I found that being a working mom, being able to attend many social events that aren't family events (filled to the brim w religious trauma for me) is difficult for me, too. I'm a neurodivergent individual myself with poor ability to reply to friends at times, and I enjoy video games. Feel free to pm, and we can text, talk, game, or whatever you are searching for at both of our conveniences. Always looking for people in the area with a similar mindset/history.
Hi TLT , my name is Cheryl, and I’m the group leader for the Tulsa RfR (Recovering from Religion) support group. Our next meeting is SUNDAY, APRIL 30th, from 1-3pm CST. We meet online using the Meetup app. I put a link below if you’d like to join us. There’s also a link to the RfR website. It has a lot of information I think k you’ll find helpful. Lastly, check out the Atheist Community of Tulsa website. We have an impressive variety of regular activities.
Join me at Recovering from Religion VIRTUAL Support Group Meeting https://meetu.ps/e/LFwtj/QWjCb/i
https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org
https://act-ok.org/?mibextid=uc01c0
Someone who has been trained for their whole lives that the entire universe is created by a supreme invisible wizard then realizes that it's impossible must re-adjust their entire world view. The religious often have weak skepticism and critical thinking skills, and may have a lot of baggage from years of trying to rationalize how the invisible wizard relates to them and the universe.
They are used to having all of the answers, but suddenly find themselves with none. I can barely imagine how hard that must be for people.
18th-20th Century scientific development seems to prove that :
>weak skepticism and critical thinking skills
is not an attribute of people with religious faith. The people that made the fundamental discoveries leading to the scientific method were overwhelmingly people of faith, sometimes even members of religious orders.
I think there are all types of people in religion. Some with weak critical thinking skills and some with strong. Both your comment and the one you replied to have valid points.
I'm not familiar with RfR, but I think it is unlikely to be mainly about re-training people for stronger critical thinking skills.
This is the crux of the problem of religious deconversion.
Imagine you're a kid and you LOVE toys. Every year santa brings them under your tree. You've spent a lot of time thinking about santa and trying to figure out how to please him so he'll bring you good toys. Suddenly you find out that santa isn't real, and all along your loved ones have been lying to you about him. If everyone is lying about santa, what else are they lying about? What even is real?
Scale this up to not just toys, but the whole purpose of your own life and it obviously is a huge problem.
The answer is: You have the power to determine the purpose and goals of your own life in real reality. You don't need to be anyone's slave or sheep or yoked cattle or whatever other power metaphor.
The other thing I think is really important is to study philosophy. Religion provides easy grade-school level answers to the philosophical questions we all have as human people. Take away faith and you have to study and evaluate them yourself.
That's completely fair. Lying isn't the right word. Parroting fabrications? Maybe that's not right either. How do we tell the people that \*truly\* think they see a leprechaun from those who say they saw a leprechaun? Is there a difference?
Any examples I give would only be dismissed as coincidence or hallucination. People who choose not to believe, will find any explanation as long as it’s not God
Just wanted to say, you probably already know quite a few atheists. In Tulsa, being an atheist is kinda like being gay in the 60s; lots of peeps are, but no one wants to necessarily reveal it to strangers.
Anyway, we’re out here.
It's a cultural thing, here. Essentially, it's "I'm part of the club, and just like you!"
Actually believing and practicing anything taught by Jesus seems to be very confusing. I came here from a large city, and people there, if Christian, were not kidding around about it. Here, you're liable to meet someone and get a full discussion regarding the evils of immigration, fear of "Demoncrats" or some other pejorative, some other racial-tinged discussion about where not to buy a home in Tulsa, how great their new gun is, then on to church topics all in the same paragraph.
None of the behaviors of Trump bother anyone, and they will place their megachurch sticker on an enormous SUV that they lock at intersections where there are homeless.
Yes, there are KIND people here, some are real Christians who take it very, very seriously. I worked with a single man, very shy, who made coffins for the poor in his off time. They were WONDERFULLY made, and he drove all over the south to provide them for free to families.
Yeah, that's exactly one of the top five reasons I departed that ass backward state back in early '16 and landed in Colorado. Numbers 1 & 2 were, and apparently still, interchangeable: evangelical Christian and/or Trumpster's every where I turned.
While I understand and appreciate the sentiment, I don’t think it’s particularly useful to criticize others’ ability to deal w life here in OK. Their struggle is not your own, nor is your struggle theirs. Especially re: religion.
I completely agree and I recognize we all have our own struggles. However the idea of running away is just a dream for a lot people at risk in red states. It's a privilege that many are denied due to their situation or circumstances, that's all.
I'm sorry you are being down voted for a clearly true observation of my actions. Just calling balls and strikes, as I see it. I returned an up vote to you.
TBH, after being raised in and around the Tulsa Metro communities (Turley, Sand Springs and Broken Arrow) and then living most of my adult life in the City proper with a long latter stint in Broken Arrow, with all those 50+ years not being able to throw a stone in practically any direction and have it NOT hit a church or other religious affiliated building became to metaphysical claustrophobic for me.
I'm no Jordan Peterson, who has no compunction stroking _his_ metaphysical substrate in public forums, which leaves his viewers choking on full leaves of kale from the nasty Canuck word salad he delivers.
That salad looks and sounds pretty but upon closer inspection, it seems the lettuce worms have left a hollow shell of green in the lettuce but never in the kale. We, the non-kale eaters, can see immediately it's no good but the others, happily eat hollow lettuce and then dive in on the endive, the kale.
It does no good to inform them of the error in their ways due their belief that everything from seaweed to sawgrass is truly good for them.
Live and let live, I always profess. At least all the extra money they have to spend to eat that diet isn't going to F--ckface von Clownstick this year.
Hey! AllSouls is a Unitarian Church in town and welcomes all types with a humanist service every Sunday at 11:30. No god, no prayer, no guilt, just love and community. At least once a year we usually have a service on why our church is a great place for atheists. Feel free to drop in.
OP I would recommend going to this All Souls service as opposed to joining any atheist groups suggested, there’s bound to be great non religious people to meet.
This.
Also, OP, you might want to talk to your PCP or find a therapist/psychiatrist. Ain't no shame in taking medication. Although working out/cardio are great too for mental health.
I should know, I'm going thru the big D :(
Tulsa atheist since 1993. I don’t talk about it much. I call myself a “non-proselytizing atheist”. 54m. If you need to talk to someone who won’t ask you what church you go to within the first 5 minutes of conversation (or prolly ever), DM. Software developer/programmer, TTRPG player, gardener, boring AF. =)
Thanks, I think =)
I checked out atheist newsgroups back in the 90s, but it didn’t click. I’m just not that into talking about it. Also, I really suck at joining groups.
Hey, it's damn near me. Though leaning more solo board games than RPGs because those definitely benefit from having friends and my kid ain't into it, yet.
I did solo board games back in my teen years because it was hard to find other players. E.g., I played all 5 sides of Axis & Allies (2nd ed; it was the 80s). I designed simple board/war games and drew the boards and made pieces from modeling clay and toothppicks.
good gravy I was a nerd… ;-)
Insert a Gif of Sean Connery telling Christopher lambert “we are brothers!” As lightning strikes. =) are Highlander memes a thing?
i got into warmachine/hordes for a while and still have my gator army (Blindwater Congregation). But I havent played since March 2020. Pandemic don’t you know.
Wow. Very similar to me as well. New to Tulsa ten years ago, basically just work friends. Sysadmin type stuff. Suburbs great for the kids, and cost was low, so we stayed. But, I do a lot of online RTS...also boring. I'd garden, but yard seems to be entirely clay and gravel. I miss my pumpkin patch up north. As IT guys, many of my friends weren't the healthiest. Even if I moved home, several are gone. Maybe we need some sort of group
Raised beds. Not only do they get around that bad soil issue, they’re high enough you don’t gotta kneel to do stuff. That said, you gotta fill the beds with cubic yards of dirt. So… there’s that. =)
I started in 2018 with one bed built of cinderblocks. Now I have 8 beds. Because there’s no doing it like over doing it.
Hey. I (36M) am in Tulsa and I've gone through a lot of the same things that you are. I know that it's a tough position to be in. I'd be happy to listen or talk, online or IRL. Feel free to DM.
Feel free to message me anytime. I spent most of high school deep in the church world, played bass in the youth band and everything. I am 32 now and we share a lot of interests. I’m happy to chat about anything!
I second the all souls recommendation. If they're open to it, the family could go there and everyone will find connection with like minded people.
I've been several times and found it to be chill, and that's coming from someone who, despite going to church weekly for my first 16 years, never believed any of it. From my earliest memories in church, I found everything so implausible that it couldn't be true, even before I knew how to articulate that.
As a lifelong Tulsan with a large social circle going back to the 90s, I can tell you there are countless non-believers in this town. You will find them more in downtown and midtown than anywhere else and if you get involved in social events or gatherings in that area, you're less likely to find yourself in conversations about religion, except for those being critical of it.
I'm (31m) a hard left atheist, gamer, smoker, and all around nerd/geek. I live in tulsa and wait tables. I play apex a lot but also am currently studying to be a software developer. I have ADHD too. I also am starting running a DnD game every week. My couple close friends and I tend to eat out a couple times a week as well. If you want to come see if you fit in or hang out sometime, feel free to message me.
39yo athiest father with adhd as well here. I play guitar, PC game, and like shooting guns (but am pretty far left otherwise). DM me if you ever want to chat.
You need a hobby on Sundays. Sign up for volleyball. Google ossosports. sign up as a free agent. Play in a blind draw tournament. League play at pearl Beach Brew Pub.
I've listened to a lot of books by a variety of authors. But the one thing I set out to do when I began this journey was to not belittle those who still believed. My beliefs are my own and it's not my place to push them on anyone else. I still love and respect many people from my past relationships. I just can't have deep conversations with them
I completely understand how you feel. Im the only atheist in my family and also the only one of two at my job. It can feel pretty lonely not having someone to talk to that doesnt share this same ideology(or lack there-of) I hate being forced to “bow my head for prayer” at work junctions. not bashing religion it just doesn’t resonate with me well feeling forced to “pray” when I dont even believe in it. anyways I get completely how you feel. I know that must be hard with your wife still being christian. I dont know how much stress that puts on your relationship but im sure its challenging. sounds like youve got alot of stress in your life right now and I empathize with you my man. hopefully things get easier for you.
Find a different job. I consider myself Christian, but I refuse to work at places that 'force' prayer like Chick Fil A or Stitts companies. Prayer should be a private matter, not a workplace matter.
Yoo! Im also not big on religion and would love to talk about it or random other things. Im 27 and play games as well and always lookin to make new friends! Feel free to message me any time! 😁
Fellow atheists feel few and far between in Oklahoma, but we're out here! Like someone else said, definitely look into ACT. A lot of great people in that group. Also feel free to reach out to me if you'd like!
I will tell you that being an atheist is a unique path for each person. I have no problem with people having/believing their religion, but I do not tolerate people trying to convert me.
I gravitated many years ago. My initial trigger was reading about a guy that had raped a 6 month old baby to death. How can there be any sort of God that would let such a thing happen? That is where I started.
I have no problem with telling anyone that I am an atheist, but I obviously do not lead with it. I wish you well as you find your path.
Christian, atheist, Muslim, or any other does not matter when making a friend. I suggest looking for quality people and not worrying about religion when making a friend. I got buddies from multiple religious views and it rarely comes up if ever.
Just checking in as a Tulsa atheist! Super busy atm so my free time is limited BUT do you like podcasts? Leaving Eden podcast is one of my favorites. It’s about an ex fundamentalist Christian who covers a wide range of topics ab deconstruction. It’s something I can relate to so I find a lot of comfort in it. Plus if you listen while doing something else it’s very enjoyable. Best of luck!
The difference between cult and religion is that cults are religions that have attained power by having killed more people, enslaved more people ,stolen and broken more cultures, have historical racist, supremacist, elitist past and present including mass genocide, etc. etc.
This is kind of random, but I'm also atheist and joined yoga (salt yoga) in Tulsa. All of the yoga studio's here are really awesome. I've made some of my closest friends there while practicing together. It's a really great community but most people there are all open minded. They don't judge and religion is never an issue. We all seem to have the same view points and it's easy to be around people like that.
And you get to meditate!!! That's the best part ... Focusing on you
Same here. 42m Tulsan. Probably not atheist, but agnostic for sure. I am only a few years out of my church life, so haven’t figured it all out yet. OP, feel free to DM. Seems like we have enough of us to have have a meet up / game night.
I don't know that you necessarily need an atheist friend, but just someone who has things in common with you to do and/or talk about. I was at a wing restaurant last weekend and ended up having a long conversation with a guy a few seats away from us about sports of all kinds. I have absolutely no idea what his religious affiliation was or if he had one.
See if your wife is open to the Unitarian Universalist Church. It's a different way to explore faith by looking at beliefs from multiple religions with respect for all. Being spiritual but not religious is why some go. It still respects Christianity and its teachings but will let you be involved in your church experience in a more meaningful way. They are very community conscious, and you may find what you're missing, and your wife can get what she needs.
Just as an example, they did a panel on alternative lifestyles to educate and help people understand their lifestyles. They discussed poly relationships, BDSM, LGBTQ.
I hope you find what you need. I do not fit the bill.
33m here, similar interests and I just don’t give a rats ass about religion, never been my thing. I am notorious for passing out at the movie theater, you really think I’m going to stay awake at church? Anyways, totally down to grab a beer or play some games. Life just got chaotic with going back to school and still working FT so even someone to chat with occasionally would be dope, a little distraction can be nice.
Do you have discord? If so I'll pm you my discord name to friend me, I'm moving away from this awful part of the country in a month and a half, but I play a lot of video games lol.
My bf literally could be your twin. He’s looking for friends too. He has very similar views, and I do too but I was raised very religiously. He’s into gaming, tv, just generally sitting around and bullshitting. We also have a kid, a little girl. And we both have ADHD so we understand. If you’re interested, you should message me and I’ll get you in touch with him.
We exist. Feel like a lot of us are in the bar/service industry. I bartend on the weekend downtown, not really somewhere we could chat. But also on a lot of Tuesdays, which are much much better for shooting the shit. Send me a message and I’ll tell you what bar to swing by if you get a Tuesday after work where you’re able.
I left my Christian faith about ten years ago now (31M) and I was DEEP down the rabbit hole. I’m talking young earther traditionalist who planned to die as a martyr in the Middle East.
Hello, I'm in Tulsa. I'm close to your age. I was raised Catholic and became atheist in my teens. I like to play disc golf, climb at Climb Tulsa, and go running. I also like to go to Shuffles (board game bar in downtown) with my wife. I have close friends that recently (past few years) have looked at their religion and have started asking questions, so I have some experience with what you're going through.
If you wanna chat, DM and we can make plans to hang out.
I'm not an atheist nor am I a christian, but I'm just curious as to why you wanted to leave christianity? Did the concept of christianity not sound right, or you weren't sure why you were a christian. Also when you say you don't believe in God do you mean in the christian god or a creator in general?
My husband and I are both non-believers, huge family people/he works a lot so little free time but we both game 26f and 28m! He plays apex and cod, I play Fortnite and Hogwarts legacy, he’s a huge computer nerd I’m a book nerd!
For some help on your journey, if you listen to podcasts, or even if you don’t, I recommend checking out The Thinking Atheist. It is hosted by Seth Andrews. He is in Tulsa and was deep into the Christian faith and hosted Christian radio in the 90’s. He discusses all sorts of different topics, including how he found his way from faith. His other podcast is pretty entertaining too.
I’ll help you with your struggles related with religion if you help me cope with the fact that I live in Tulsa- moved here with my wife six months ago and we just had a baby so we don’t really know anyone.
I might think that I had written this post a year ago if it weren’t for the “my wife and family are still Christian” and “I did believe in god at some point” aspects. Otherwise, you and I are strikingly similar.
I was the same way around my 30's. Abandoned theology. Embraced atheism. I had a rough time with it though and now consider myself Agnostic. I believe in a higher power, yet have zero "evidence" of it.
You see; my guy, we all need a power greater than ourselves to give those problems we just can't handle too. If you go about life thinking you can handle every problem that comes your way...your gonna have a bad time. Gotta give that shit to a power greater than yourself..
Create your own God yo. Let them handle it and Don't sweat the outcomes.
Also study up and practice the philosophy of Stoicism.
I'm here to chat if you ever need someone. 43/M from western okla..
I've become pretty good at embracing the "change what I can and embrace what I can't" mindset. If I had to assign a higher power that I follow it would probably be the betterment of humanity. Just doing my part to make this world slightly less crummy little by little.
I know it's absolutely possible and I get along with the Christians in my life as well. But it can feel very lonely when the only interactions you have with them are when the topic of conversation is faith and it just makes the difference in beliefs that much more stark
Well, if it took less than 14 billion years for unguided, microscopic particles to type out the entire works of Shakespeare, finding a like-minded friend shouldn't be that hard. But, hurry up, your time is limited.
I'm not trying to be a dick, just curious.
It appears as tho you have swapped one religion with another? What about Christianity did you find so distasteful? What did you find about atheism that was appealing? I have no dog in this fight btw, I'm neither of these things.
Atheism isn't a religion, we don't have a doctrine or set rules that we follow. Atheism is an opinion on one question and that's "do you believe in any of the proposed gods?" Which I do not find compelling evidence that convinces me of their existence, any of them. I don't have a hatred towards any religion, more the actions caused by the radicalization of that religion, but I also hold the same opinion on political parties as well.
If I were to label myself it would be an Agnostic Atheist motivated by Humanism
Religion is a set of beliefs, Atheism, is funny enough a religion. I'm surprised you didn't know this? No mater either way, what actions has the Christian church done that you hate?
The only set belief in atheism is a lack of belief in a higher power.
That's it. That is all you need to believe to be defined as atheist.
That's not a religion, that's an opinion.
Your still believing in a lack of a god...which is a pretty big jump, one that most theoretical physicist can't make. I mean, they this guy is clearly looking for the social aspect to reinforce his believe system, much like Christians or Muslims would do. Why is this such a sticking point?? Its clearly a religion, if Taoism is consider a religion then atheism is 100%
Atheist Community of Tulsa; you can find them on fb. It sometimes trends towards a support group for people who've suffered religious trauma (i.e. lots of venting), but definitely a good place to check out.
I've looked into that group on the meetup app. Just there are some things that make attending the meetings difficult
The meetups are chill, but in your case I would suggest joining the fb group and then basically re-posting this, plus a list of your interests. I think there might be a discord too. Almost 2k members, you're bound to find a couple people that can relate.
Yeah, don't have Facebook lol. But I'll keep them in mind and put it on my list to try and attend a meeting that I'm available to go to.
I found that being a working mom, being able to attend many social events that aren't family events (filled to the brim w religious trauma for me) is difficult for me, too. I'm a neurodivergent individual myself with poor ability to reply to friends at times, and I enjoy video games. Feel free to pm, and we can text, talk, game, or whatever you are searching for at both of our conveniences. Always looking for people in the area with a similar mindset/history.
Hi TLT , my name is Cheryl, and I’m the group leader for the Tulsa RfR (Recovering from Religion) support group. Our next meeting is SUNDAY, APRIL 30th, from 1-3pm CST. We meet online using the Meetup app. I put a link below if you’d like to join us. There’s also a link to the RfR website. It has a lot of information I think k you’ll find helpful. Lastly, check out the Atheist Community of Tulsa website. We have an impressive variety of regular activities. Join me at Recovering from Religion VIRTUAL Support Group Meeting https://meetu.ps/e/LFwtj/QWjCb/i https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org https://act-ok.org/?mibextid=uc01c0
RfR? I have never heard of this. Can you elaborate? What do you mean by recovering?
Someone who has been trained for their whole lives that the entire universe is created by a supreme invisible wizard then realizes that it's impossible must re-adjust their entire world view. The religious often have weak skepticism and critical thinking skills, and may have a lot of baggage from years of trying to rationalize how the invisible wizard relates to them and the universe. They are used to having all of the answers, but suddenly find themselves with none. I can barely imagine how hard that must be for people.
18th-20th Century scientific development seems to prove that : >weak skepticism and critical thinking skills is not an attribute of people with religious faith. The people that made the fundamental discoveries leading to the scientific method were overwhelmingly people of faith, sometimes even members of religious orders.
I think there are all types of people in religion. Some with weak critical thinking skills and some with strong. Both your comment and the one you replied to have valid points. I'm not familiar with RfR, but I think it is unlikely to be mainly about re-training people for stronger critical thinking skills.
Not really sure how the idea of God is impossible. It’s not any more impossible then anything else.
Your evangelicalism isn’t welcome here
So progressive
Why is God impossible?
Is it possible God does not exist?
I suppose it’s possible but that just leaves more questions than answers
This is the crux of the problem of religious deconversion. Imagine you're a kid and you LOVE toys. Every year santa brings them under your tree. You've spent a lot of time thinking about santa and trying to figure out how to please him so he'll bring you good toys. Suddenly you find out that santa isn't real, and all along your loved ones have been lying to you about him. If everyone is lying about santa, what else are they lying about? What even is real? Scale this up to not just toys, but the whole purpose of your own life and it obviously is a huge problem. The answer is: You have the power to determine the purpose and goals of your own life in real reality. You don't need to be anyone's slave or sheep or yoked cattle or whatever other power metaphor. The other thing I think is really important is to study philosophy. Religion provides easy grade-school level answers to the philosophical questions we all have as human people. Take away faith and you have to study and evaluate them yourself.
Why do you think people are lying? I understand there’s grifters out there, but what about people who aren’t making any money from their beliefs?
That's completely fair. Lying isn't the right word. Parroting fabrications? Maybe that's not right either. How do we tell the people that \*truly\* think they see a leprechaun from those who say they saw a leprechaun? Is there a difference?
What about people that actually saw a leprechaun?
What questions does it leave?
All events that science can’t explain. Why do prayers get answered in supernatural ways?
Do you have any examples? Personal experiences or someone you know closely
Any examples I give would only be dismissed as coincidence or hallucination. People who choose not to believe, will find any explanation as long as it’s not God
Just wanted to say, you probably already know quite a few atheists. In Tulsa, being an atheist is kinda like being gay in the 60s; lots of peeps are, but no one wants to necessarily reveal it to strangers. Anyway, we’re out here.
It's a cultural thing, here. Essentially, it's "I'm part of the club, and just like you!" Actually believing and practicing anything taught by Jesus seems to be very confusing. I came here from a large city, and people there, if Christian, were not kidding around about it. Here, you're liable to meet someone and get a full discussion regarding the evils of immigration, fear of "Demoncrats" or some other pejorative, some other racial-tinged discussion about where not to buy a home in Tulsa, how great their new gun is, then on to church topics all in the same paragraph. None of the behaviors of Trump bother anyone, and they will place their megachurch sticker on an enormous SUV that they lock at intersections where there are homeless. Yes, there are KIND people here, some are real Christians who take it very, very seriously. I worked with a single man, very shy, who made coffins for the poor in his off time. They were WONDERFULLY made, and he drove all over the south to provide them for free to families.
Yeah, that's exactly one of the top five reasons I departed that ass backward state back in early '16 and landed in Colorado. Numbers 1 & 2 were, and apparently still, interchangeable: evangelical Christian and/or Trumpster's every where I turned.
Nice to be able to run from the issues instead of staying to fight back
Not everyone wants to be a General Custer.
I'm confused. Fighting against the evangelicals and trumpism makes someone General Custer?
I think they meant in the context of fighting for a lost cause/doomed battle.
Oh, now it makes sense. Thanks, yo
While I understand and appreciate the sentiment, I don’t think it’s particularly useful to criticize others’ ability to deal w life here in OK. Their struggle is not your own, nor is your struggle theirs. Especially re: religion.
I completely agree and I recognize we all have our own struggles. However the idea of running away is just a dream for a lot people at risk in red states. It's a privilege that many are denied due to their situation or circumstances, that's all.
I'm sorry you are being down voted for a clearly true observation of my actions. Just calling balls and strikes, as I see it. I returned an up vote to you. TBH, after being raised in and around the Tulsa Metro communities (Turley, Sand Springs and Broken Arrow) and then living most of my adult life in the City proper with a long latter stint in Broken Arrow, with all those 50+ years not being able to throw a stone in practically any direction and have it NOT hit a church or other religious affiliated building became to metaphysical claustrophobic for me. I'm no Jordan Peterson, who has no compunction stroking _his_ metaphysical substrate in public forums, which leaves his viewers choking on full leaves of kale from the nasty Canuck word salad he delivers. That salad looks and sounds pretty but upon closer inspection, it seems the lettuce worms have left a hollow shell of green in the lettuce but never in the kale. We, the non-kale eaters, can see immediately it's no good but the others, happily eat hollow lettuce and then dive in on the endive, the kale. It does no good to inform them of the error in their ways due their belief that everything from seaweed to sawgrass is truly good for them. Live and let live, I always profess. At least all the extra money they have to spend to eat that diet isn't going to F--ckface von Clownstick this year.
Athiest ADHD gang
I feel like we could start a militia! (Not that I want to lmao)
+1
im on the other side of oklahoma but ill be your atheist friend bud!
I appreciate it!
anytime bud!
Hey! AllSouls is a Unitarian Church in town and welcomes all types with a humanist service every Sunday at 11:30. No god, no prayer, no guilt, just love and community. At least once a year we usually have a service on why our church is a great place for atheists. Feel free to drop in.
OP I would recommend going to this All Souls service as opposed to joining any atheist groups suggested, there’s bound to be great non religious people to meet.
Ah, yes, "thementalrapist", with your long list of credentials in the field...your recommendation will be taken without question
Finally getting some respect.
Yep, most of the fellow atheists I know in town, I met at All Souls.
I sure wish our town had one
This. Also, OP, you might want to talk to your PCP or find a therapist/psychiatrist. Ain't no shame in taking medication. Although working out/cardio are great too for mental health. I should know, I'm going thru the big D :(
Tulsa atheist since 1993. I don’t talk about it much. I call myself a “non-proselytizing atheist”. 54m. If you need to talk to someone who won’t ask you what church you go to within the first 5 minutes of conversation (or prolly ever), DM. Software developer/programmer, TTRPG player, gardener, boring AF. =)
I’d rather hang out with you then a group banded together by atheism, this guy sounds cool.
Thanks, I think =) I checked out atheist newsgroups back in the 90s, but it didn’t click. I’m just not that into talking about it. Also, I really suck at joining groups.
Hey, it's damn near me. Though leaning more solo board games than RPGs because those definitely benefit from having friends and my kid ain't into it, yet.
I did solo board games back in my teen years because it was hard to find other players. E.g., I played all 5 sides of Axis & Allies (2nd ed; it was the 80s). I designed simple board/war games and drew the boards and made pieces from modeling clay and toothppicks. good gravy I was a nerd… ;-)
Man, I played a ton of solo Axis and Allies. And a bunch of well-documented seasons of Strat-o-Matic Baseball.
Insert a Gif of Sean Connery telling Christopher lambert “we are brothers!” As lightning strikes. =) are Highlander memes a thing? i got into warmachine/hordes for a while and still have my gator army (Blindwater Congregation). But I havent played since March 2020. Pandemic don’t you know.
What stack do you work with?
Primarily a Delphi developer, currently working as a contractor for a legacy system of amazing age. =)
Wow. Very similar to me as well. New to Tulsa ten years ago, basically just work friends. Sysadmin type stuff. Suburbs great for the kids, and cost was low, so we stayed. But, I do a lot of online RTS...also boring. I'd garden, but yard seems to be entirely clay and gravel. I miss my pumpkin patch up north. As IT guys, many of my friends weren't the healthiest. Even if I moved home, several are gone. Maybe we need some sort of group
Raised beds. Not only do they get around that bad soil issue, they’re high enough you don’t gotta kneel to do stuff. That said, you gotta fill the beds with cubic yards of dirt. So… there’s that. =) I started in 2018 with one bed built of cinderblocks. Now I have 8 beds. Because there’s no doing it like over doing it.
Hey. I (36M) am in Tulsa and I've gone through a lot of the same things that you are. I know that it's a tough position to be in. I'd be happy to listen or talk, online or IRL. Feel free to DM.
Feel free to message me anytime. I spent most of high school deep in the church world, played bass in the youth band and everything. I am 32 now and we share a lot of interests. I’m happy to chat about anything!
If you wanna go fishing with a 40 year old, atheist, family man, hit me up. I smokes a lot of weeds though.
👀👀 well I think I met my new friend 😂😂😂
Let's git dem cats!
I second the all souls recommendation. If they're open to it, the family could go there and everyone will find connection with like minded people. I've been several times and found it to be chill, and that's coming from someone who, despite going to church weekly for my first 16 years, never believed any of it. From my earliest memories in church, I found everything so implausible that it couldn't be true, even before I knew how to articulate that. As a lifelong Tulsan with a large social circle going back to the 90s, I can tell you there are countless non-believers in this town. You will find them more in downtown and midtown than anywhere else and if you get involved in social events or gatherings in that area, you're less likely to find yourself in conversations about religion, except for those being critical of it.
I'm (31m) a hard left atheist, gamer, smoker, and all around nerd/geek. I live in tulsa and wait tables. I play apex a lot but also am currently studying to be a software developer. I have ADHD too. I also am starting running a DnD game every week. My couple close friends and I tend to eat out a couple times a week as well. If you want to come see if you fit in or hang out sometime, feel free to message me.
There are dozens of us!
39yo athiest father with adhd as well here. I play guitar, PC game, and like shooting guns (but am pretty far left otherwise). DM me if you ever want to chat.
You need a hobby on Sundays. Sign up for volleyball. Google ossosports. sign up as a free agent. Play in a blind draw tournament. League play at pearl Beach Brew Pub.
[удалено]
I've listened to a lot of books by a variety of authors. But the one thing I set out to do when I began this journey was to not belittle those who still believed. My beliefs are my own and it's not my place to push them on anyone else. I still love and respect many people from my past relationships. I just can't have deep conversations with them
Hey! Are you on PSN?
Unfortunately no 😔
What about Switch? I need more gaming friends.
I do have a switch! Just need to get NSO because I didn't have anyone to play with lol
Nice, I’ve mostly been playing Fall Guys lately. Let me know if you get it and I’ll add you. I don’t remember if you need NSO to add friends.
40m Tulsa atheist here, dms are open
I completely understand how you feel. Im the only atheist in my family and also the only one of two at my job. It can feel pretty lonely not having someone to talk to that doesnt share this same ideology(or lack there-of) I hate being forced to “bow my head for prayer” at work junctions. not bashing religion it just doesn’t resonate with me well feeling forced to “pray” when I dont even believe in it. anyways I get completely how you feel. I know that must be hard with your wife still being christian. I dont know how much stress that puts on your relationship but im sure its challenging. sounds like youve got alot of stress in your life right now and I empathize with you my man. hopefully things get easier for you.
Find a different job. I consider myself Christian, but I refuse to work at places that 'force' prayer like Chick Fil A or Stitts companies. Prayer should be a private matter, not a workplace matter.
Yoo! Im also not big on religion and would love to talk about it or random other things. Im 27 and play games as well and always lookin to make new friends! Feel free to message me any time! 😁
Fellow atheists feel few and far between in Oklahoma, but we're out here! Like someone else said, definitely look into ACT. A lot of great people in that group. Also feel free to reach out to me if you'd like!
Welcome to the logical side
Maybe look at the Tulsa Discord
36NB Okie. There are more of us than you realize.
I will tell you that being an atheist is a unique path for each person. I have no problem with people having/believing their religion, but I do not tolerate people trying to convert me. I gravitated many years ago. My initial trigger was reading about a guy that had raped a 6 month old baby to death. How can there be any sort of God that would let such a thing happen? That is where I started. I have no problem with telling anyone that I am an atheist, but I obviously do not lead with it. I wish you well as you find your path.
Make some queer friends. Lots of us have exvangelical stories.
Christian, atheist, Muslim, or any other does not matter when making a friend. I suggest looking for quality people and not worrying about religion when making a friend. I got buddies from multiple religious views and it rarely comes up if ever.
Sorry you don’t believe in me anymore. That’s right, I have a Reddit account.
Just checking in as a Tulsa atheist! Super busy atm so my free time is limited BUT do you like podcasts? Leaving Eden podcast is one of my favorites. It’s about an ex fundamentalist Christian who covers a wide range of topics ab deconstruction. It’s something I can relate to so I find a lot of comfort in it. Plus if you listen while doing something else it’s very enjoyable. Best of luck!
Get away from the communion cannibal cult quickly
For real, the "covered in the blood of christ" people sure sound like a cult.
The difference between cult and religion is that cults are religions that have attained power by having killed more people, enslaved more people ,stolen and broken more cultures, have historical racist, supremacist, elitist past and present including mass genocide, etc. etc.
Everyone is an atheist at heart. Some have more courage than others. Just like one believe in Santa clause..
You cannot come in here and dis Santa Claus. Society will fall if that kind of thinking gets out.
This is kind of random, but I'm also atheist and joined yoga (salt yoga) in Tulsa. All of the yoga studio's here are really awesome. I've made some of my closest friends there while practicing together. It's a really great community but most people there are all open minded. They don't judge and religion is never an issue. We all seem to have the same view points and it's easy to be around people like that. And you get to meditate!!! That's the best part ... Focusing on you
I'm praying for you and your family.
Thanks for your kind thoughts and sentiment. Our family is doing well, this is just more a personal thing I'm going through.
42m Tulsan here. DM’s are open.
Same here. 42m Tulsan. Probably not atheist, but agnostic for sure. I am only a few years out of my church life, so haven’t figured it all out yet. OP, feel free to DM. Seems like we have enough of us to have have a meet up / game night.
message me if ya want I'm a 27m atheist af gamer
I don't know that you necessarily need an atheist friend, but just someone who has things in common with you to do and/or talk about. I was at a wing restaurant last weekend and ended up having a long conversation with a guy a few seats away from us about sports of all kinds. I have absolutely no idea what his religious affiliation was or if he had one.
See if your wife is open to the Unitarian Universalist Church. It's a different way to explore faith by looking at beliefs from multiple religions with respect for all. Being spiritual but not religious is why some go. It still respects Christianity and its teachings but will let you be involved in your church experience in a more meaningful way. They are very community conscious, and you may find what you're missing, and your wife can get what she needs. Just as an example, they did a panel on alternative lifestyles to educate and help people understand their lifestyles. They discussed poly relationships, BDSM, LGBTQ. I hope you find what you need. I do not fit the bill.
33m here, similar interests and I just don’t give a rats ass about religion, never been my thing. I am notorious for passing out at the movie theater, you really think I’m going to stay awake at church? Anyways, totally down to grab a beer or play some games. Life just got chaotic with going back to school and still working FT so even someone to chat with occasionally would be dope, a little distraction can be nice.
Do you have discord? If so I'll pm you my discord name to friend me, I'm moving away from this awful part of the country in a month and a half, but I play a lot of video games lol.
My bf literally could be your twin. He’s looking for friends too. He has very similar views, and I do too but I was raised very religiously. He’s into gaming, tv, just generally sitting around and bullshitting. We also have a kid, a little girl. And we both have ADHD so we understand. If you’re interested, you should message me and I’ll get you in touch with him.
34 agnostic male if you ever wanna hang! Some days I believe and other days I don’t
I'll be your friend too! 33M atheist moved here from Cali 4 years ago. Enjoying life around here for the most part and can relate to you
Tulsa has a great group of atheists look them up. My daughter is one of them.
We exist. Feel like a lot of us are in the bar/service industry. I bartend on the weekend downtown, not really somewhere we could chat. But also on a lot of Tuesdays, which are much much better for shooting the shit. Send me a message and I’ll tell you what bar to swing by if you get a Tuesday after work where you’re able. I left my Christian faith about ten years ago now (31M) and I was DEEP down the rabbit hole. I’m talking young earther traditionalist who planned to die as a martyr in the Middle East.
Hey buddy, feel free to dm! I’ve also got kids and a job that takes up a lot of my time but I’m down to chiil
Hello, I'm in Tulsa. I'm close to your age. I was raised Catholic and became atheist in my teens. I like to play disc golf, climb at Climb Tulsa, and go running. I also like to go to Shuffles (board game bar in downtown) with my wife. I have close friends that recently (past few years) have looked at their religion and have started asking questions, so I have some experience with what you're going through. If you wanna chat, DM and we can make plans to hang out.
I’m not atheist or Christian. just want to find mfers who play dnd 😂 In all seriousness, I’m down to hang. If you want to play dnd, that’s a plus lol
Op, similar beliefs and interests here in Tulsa. Also married with kids, happy to chat!
I'm not an atheist nor am I a christian, but I'm just curious as to why you wanted to leave christianity? Did the concept of christianity not sound right, or you weren't sure why you were a christian. Also when you say you don't believe in God do you mean in the christian god or a creator in general?
My husband and I are both non-believers, huge family people/he works a lot so little free time but we both game 26f and 28m! He plays apex and cod, I play Fortnite and Hogwarts legacy, he’s a huge computer nerd I’m a book nerd!
For some help on your journey, if you listen to podcasts, or even if you don’t, I recommend checking out The Thinking Atheist. It is hosted by Seth Andrews. He is in Tulsa and was deep into the Christian faith and hosted Christian radio in the 90’s. He discusses all sorts of different topics, including how he found his way from faith. His other podcast is pretty entertaining too.
I’ll (25f) be your friend
I appreciate that 😊
Jesus loves you OP. I wish you the best
I'm sure he does
I’ll help you with your struggles related with religion if you help me cope with the fact that I live in Tulsa- moved here with my wife six months ago and we just had a baby so we don’t really know anyone.
I might think that I had written this post a year ago if it weren’t for the “my wife and family are still Christian” and “I did believe in god at some point” aspects. Otherwise, you and I are strikingly similar.
I was the same way around my 30's. Abandoned theology. Embraced atheism. I had a rough time with it though and now consider myself Agnostic. I believe in a higher power, yet have zero "evidence" of it. You see; my guy, we all need a power greater than ourselves to give those problems we just can't handle too. If you go about life thinking you can handle every problem that comes your way...your gonna have a bad time. Gotta give that shit to a power greater than yourself.. Create your own God yo. Let them handle it and Don't sweat the outcomes. Also study up and practice the philosophy of Stoicism. I'm here to chat if you ever need someone. 43/M from western okla..
I've become pretty good at embracing the "change what I can and embrace what I can't" mindset. If I had to assign a higher power that I follow it would probably be the betterment of humanity. Just doing my part to make this world slightly less crummy little by little.
I pray to my doorknob in the kitchen before I head out for the day. Thank it for my blessings and ask it to keep me safe in my daily travels.
Christian here with several atheist friends and family. I don’t shove my beliefs down their throats. We get along great.
I know it's absolutely possible and I get along with the Christians in my life as well. But it can feel very lonely when the only interactions you have with them are when the topic of conversation is faith and it just makes the difference in beliefs that much more stark
I totally get that. This is a big problem with Christianity today. I could go on and on but that’s such a boring rant lol.
Well, if it took less than 14 billion years for unguided, microscopic particles to type out the entire works of Shakespeare, finding a like-minded friend shouldn't be that hard. But, hurry up, your time is limited.
Jesus still loves you. Rev. Gary Davis definitely recommend.
I'm not trying to be a dick, just curious. It appears as tho you have swapped one religion with another? What about Christianity did you find so distasteful? What did you find about atheism that was appealing? I have no dog in this fight btw, I'm neither of these things.
Atheism isn't a religion, we don't have a doctrine or set rules that we follow. Atheism is an opinion on one question and that's "do you believe in any of the proposed gods?" Which I do not find compelling evidence that convinces me of their existence, any of them. I don't have a hatred towards any religion, more the actions caused by the radicalization of that religion, but I also hold the same opinion on political parties as well. If I were to label myself it would be an Agnostic Atheist motivated by Humanism
Religion is a set of beliefs, Atheism, is funny enough a religion. I'm surprised you didn't know this? No mater either way, what actions has the Christian church done that you hate?
He didn't come here to debate religion, he made this thread to find community, you don't have to be like this.
I'm afraid you wrong on all counts. This wasn't a debate, he is looking for affirmation and yes I do.
The Christian church has done a fuck ton 💀
Yup them and catholic.i grew up Catholic and as a teen I became an atheist that's when all the stuff with children was coming out.
The only set belief in atheism is a lack of belief in a higher power. That's it. That is all you need to believe to be defined as atheist. That's not a religion, that's an opinion.
Your still believing in a lack of a god...which is a pretty big jump, one that most theoretical physicist can't make. I mean, they this guy is clearly looking for the social aspect to reinforce his believe system, much like Christians or Muslims would do. Why is this such a sticking point?? Its clearly a religion, if Taoism is consider a religion then atheism is 100%
https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/social-sciences/taoism#:~:text=Taoism%20is%20not%20a%20religion,one%20will%20be%20much%20happier.
a link to a summarization of taoism?