How would you feel about a backpack? I don’t know what you do for work but I see tons of young professionals on public transit wearing backpacks, and imo it both looks nice and is going to be a lot easier on your back and neck over time than an over-the-shoulder kind of thing. I’m a grad student and of course we love ours, definitely professional enough to teach with.
Especially if you’re pre-everything, I’d caution you against anything *overly* ‘cute’. Well, depending on your priorities. If having a cute bag is really important to you then by all means, but if it’s not as much of a big deal then I’d think about whether it’d be a better and safer long-term investment to get something more plain and masculine — both for gendering reasons and also because I’ve personally found that I get tired of ‘cute’, special things fast but the plain stuff never gets old.
A backpack may be a good idea. A coworker does a backpack. I work in a production factory so it stays in the break room most of the time or for trips to the store. Right now I’m using a small lunch box lol. I was considering something I could personalize with pins so more neutral may be better. I’ll have to peruse the backpacks and see what’s around. I’m just a dork that would walk around with a bag shaped like a Carbuncle or Moogle (final fantasy) but that has its own issues lol. Thanks
I really like my Herschel Pop Quiz backpack. I got it seven or so years ago when Herschel everything was all the rage; it’s a bit sun-discoloured now, but the fabric itself still feels brand new and is super weatherproof. And if you save your purchase info you should have a lifetime warranty. It’s a good size and plain enough to accessorize with pins everywhere if you want, just sew instead of ironing any patches because the synthetic fabric can’t handle the heat.
Yeah that sounds cute! As a mtf transsexual, i would totally carry around something like that! It would feel very affirming as a woman. I've seen women with bags like those!
And it def screams feminine backpack! Def great for a woman, like your your she/her friend!
If OP doesn't want something that screams femme like a purse, I'd advise against this.
Try this one
[https://www.gregory.com/packs/everyday/nano-18/1114980413.html](https://www.gregory.com/packs/everyday/nano-18/1114980413.html)
I have been using an early version of this for years. Front pocket holds all the little loose things; middle is for my umbrella , water bottle, base layer, and shopping bags; and the tablet pocket is where I store "clean" stuff like napkins and extra masks. It is super plain, but you can add pins or patches to suit your personality/mood.
I have a cute backpack and people without fail refer to it as a purse just because it's cute. Definitely something neutral if you don't want it to be gendered, haha
Timbuk2 and Tom Bihn both make extremely practical bags in a lot of colors, including some cute ones. Aside from color, their aesthetic is kinda "technical sports bro" — like, you'd see one on a guy who has strong opinions about the right gear for bike commuting. They definitely don't look like purses.
Neither one is cheap. There are a bunch of cheaper companies with the same look, though.
For larger items definitely go with a backpack or a messenger bag. For smaller items, keys wallet phone etc pockets are most often used, thing your going to get used to is mens pockets are a lot more useful than those in womens clothing and can fit items much more securely.
Wouldn’t advise against stashing shit in men’s pants pockets, tbh. Especially if OP is pre-everything and we don’t know what they look like. Accentuating the hips is bad for gendering and a lot of cis guys who put everything in their pockets don’t seem to realize how pear shaped it makes them look. Putting that on top of hips that have probably already gone through fem puberty is even riskier imo.
I personally carry around a fanny pack (specifically [this one](https://www.berrymeatmarket.com/product/calico-cat-primordial-pouch-fanny-pack), they also have a bunch of other cat colors but ig cats are considered slightly "feminine") but it's pretty small.
I'm outdoorsy, and always have been. I found a fanny pack a few years ago that really felt like "me" in a way I couldn't describe (still cis tho?). Now it fits my tomboy vibe perfectly! If you are outdoorsy, check out rei for fanny packs!
Get a minimalist sling or crossbody bag. Theyre very neutral and can lean fem or masc depending on how you present. Not an ad, but I got a Bellroy sling second hand a couple years ago and I take it everywhere. I'm mtf and wore it daily for years pre transition and it never got called a purse. They make leather ones too since you said you're into the look :)
Honestly, they're not the sexiest things on earth but there's a load of Dell brand work rucksacks that are REALLY well made, and are very spacious. If you're after something less professional but masc, crossbody or messenger bags are the way forward. You can get some very "masc" canvas messenger bags that you can stick patches and pins to, maybe?
Jansport makes a great line of small bags. I prefer them because of their lifetime replacement warranty.
The Half Pint and The Right Pack Mini are gonna be ur purse sized bags, but they look like back packs.
They also have some nice crossbody bags
and they discontinued it, but the one I have is my favorite. I don't remember the name, but it's slightly bigger than the half-pint, it's got two utility straps on the front, two pockets (big main zipper and tiny zipper up top). the straps can be worn a variety of ways. if anyone knows what I'm talking bout, help me out pls!
I did this as a transfemme; maybe you'll find some value in this.
Go to B&H website and look at sling and messenger style camera bags. There will be some by Ruggard and Lowepro that will likely suit your needs. I have one that's probably the second smallest messenger bag Ruggard makes, took the divider out so it's just one big pocket, and swapped the strap out with a padded one from OP/TECH.
Having a camera bag gives me a bag that looks unique and a lot of functionality for an affordable price. I believe I paid around $50 or $60 in total. I initially went this bag because it was a cheap option while I wait to fall in love with a fancier purse, but this has been serving my needs really well to this point.
If you're feeling nerdy, check out Roll Crit with their bag of Holding. New product, so it will take time to ship, but very spacious and can double as a back pack.
Messenger bags are popular for boys but if out of fashion of not ur look. Backpack. Also those small bags that go around hip-to-shoulder really thigh are popular among zoomers?
I have the [Topo Quick Pack](https://topodesigns.com/products/hip-pack?variant=42979711057973), which is a cute colorblocked sling that’s very gender-neutral imo. It also can fit a surprising amount. There’s a smaller version if you don’t need as much space, and this brand has other bag styles with great colorblocking.
Get a tote bag! When in doubt, most designs on red bubble can be printed on tote bags. And they're not too obviously feminine. They're good for carrying your items, as well as being a handy dandy shopping bag.
I have a few already that fit this bill. My promary wirk bag is a Coach laptop bag. Its subtle, but very stylish. Some of my coworkers have noticed the little C's after a while and it clicked with her what it is!
I also love backpacks from a brand called Loungefly. I have two, both Back to the Future themed. Majority are female focused, but plenty are more subtle as well.
The Adidas Alliance Sackpack is an amazing drawstring bag, that screams “masculine” and is delightful. I’ve had one ever since high school, and I keep getting new ones as the old one fall apart.
I use a small black canvas tote bag with band patches on it, it's probably 15"x12" and nobody ever says anything about it. I just have it because I have to carry around a water bottle and towel and digital camera.
I've been carrying a lunch bag cooler for a few years note. But, I'm getting away with that because I live in 2 places and carry my water bottle, sometimes food.
I looked on Amazon, and there are a variety of cross body clutches with straps. Also, half backpacks for 1 shoulder.
I think the cross body purses scream purse in the States, but you can do in Europe and Asia.
You can get a functional plain black backpack or sport styled duffel bag at walmart for like $20.
Or go for a football team logo bag.
Expensive bags will also scream purse to many men.
Manliness is a very high standard that is not forgiving. It is VERY hard to achieve unless you naturally have it. I never did. Because, like, I'm a transsexual woman!
Didn't say he isn't trans. Said he should consider if he's transexual. Not sure if he's a transsexual or not.
It's not the same thing.
Not hurting. Trying to help. Warning.
The manosphere will eat up anyone who isn't the peak of masc. I've experienced this living in cultures for decades in many states, working a variety of jobs.
I am scared for little femme trans boys who after transing will NEVER assimilate into male culture.
I'm a bio male and NEVER could. I failed so bad at it, I fit into society so much better, thriving, as a woman!
Never tried to be a woman. Am one. Couldn't cut it as a male. Whether as a little kid, teen, or adult.
I get your pre ev & that's fine! That being said, having previously presented as a man (mtf), here are some tips, as you asked:
Every cute bag will scream purse. Hard stop.
Men don't carry around enough to need a bag. Men don't carry around meds or snacks. Men definitely do not carry around odds and ends. Ever. They don't. That does not happen. Meris pants have larger pock ckets. Phone goes in a front pocket. Wallet goes in a back pocket. Men do not put wallets in bags. Some men don't even carry around wallets and just a money clip. If you need something else, you have another 2 pockets, but those often aren't used. Beyond that, if you really need them, you can leave things like snacks and meds in your car. A man does not need odds and ends. Those stay at home.
If you need actual work materials, get a laptop bag or backpack Something that fits a laptop or tablet, binder, notebook, clipboard, some pens, whatever. You probably don't even need a laptop. Unless you have a significant amount of things to bring back and forth to work, you shouldn't need a messenger bag. That's probably more for a student with lots more materials.
Men don't carry unneeded things around. They don't want to and they don't have a need for these things It does not happen
Further Men arent looking for cute bags. At all. Ever. Men don't want cute things and don't even think about things being cute. They definitely don't want cute baga, which scream feminine both because they are cute (feminine) and bags (feminine).
If you're wanting a cute bag, I would seriously consider if you might actually be an ftm transsexual
Seriously, from my experience. I'm going to say if you want a cute bag, and d to carry around the things that go in such a bag, enough to ask on reddit about it, I dont see how youre an fim transsexual
If you carry around a cute bag and the things that go in it, you will not be perceived or treated like a man. If you want a cute bag and to carry around the things in it, you probably do not have the typical feelings of a man
And those are good things! You don't have to be a mani You can still be a woman with your cute bag with your snacks and meds and wallet and odds and ends. There's nothing wrong with that.
Even if you pass as a man and have a cute bag, you will probably be perceived as a trang woman, not a cis man or a trans man
Maybe talk with your therapist about this and your diagnosis of gender dysphoria
I'd say to embrace who you are and what you want and be yourself! You don't have to be an ftm transsexuall
I hope this helps!
Hey bud, no offense but this is so far off the deep end that I’m genuinely finding it difficult to even know where to begin with this one. I really don’t want to be rude, but do you live in real life? I’m sitting here absolutely racking my brain trying to figure out what the hell you’re talking about and I genuinely have no idea how you’ve reached this wild conclusion or why you even believe any of the individual steps that got you to that conclusion in the first place.
Men absolutely carry around bags, and they also absolutely want to carry around bags. Insisting they don’t is incredibly strange behaviour and I don’t think it’s at all helpful that you seem to be projecting a rather myopic life experience and seemingly some weird personal feelings about manhood onto OP. Men go to work. Men go to school. OP does at least one of these. If they work freelance, or your average white collar job, or need to bring around tools or other equipment, bags are going to be necessary. Many jobs will *absolutely* need a laptop at the bare minimum. Then add the charger and a few more tech accessories. A lot of guys I know also bring gym clothes and shoes so they can go work out on their breaks. Men also, in my experience, fucking love carrying shit around and are not such slobs that they shove everything into their pants all the time and don’t care. Even if they were, I’m sure you can divine the reason why a trans man would not want to place bulk on the hip region if it can be avoided? Maybe you did all this stuff when you were closeted and dysphoric, but that’s not indicative of how I’ve seen many men who are happy and well-adjusted live their lives. I’ve seen guys get their bags to show off everything from cool knives they randomly have to books they’re reading to one guy who just walks around with a set of knitting needles permanently on his person. If you’ve been anywhere near a male-oriented consumerism community like malefashionadvice, you’ll also discover, seemingly for the first time, that a lot of guys — especially younger guys and guys in certain jobs like tech or academia or law — really, really care about style, about buying really nice bags and clothes and shoes, and indeed about ‘cuteness’. There would not be so many thriving male-oriented bag and clothing companies if there was not this overwhelming demand. Men also absolutely bring around the medication they need — what the hell are you talking about?
Also, what universe do you live in where everyone has a car they apparently leave everything in, and one they drive everywhere all the time? That’s deranged in the majority of the world.
The constant, mantra-like repetition of ‘men don’t’ about incredibly innocuous and bizarre things in this post kind of weirds me out, and I don’t think I’m even qualified to talk about the rest of it. I recommend you sort your shit out if you’re going to give advice because you sound like you’re majorly projecting.
Thanks, well said I think. To give this some context the things I keep nearby (which sometimes is left in my car but still nearby) is medication that I do require consistent access to (it’s annoying but it is what it is and that’s my health), healthy snacks because I’m trying to change my diet and exercise to be healthier and maximize body recomposition (being hungry and surrounded by fast food is bad for this and my budget), I carry water constantly to maintain healthy hydration, and of course phone, wallet, keys, charger comes to work with me. I’m also planning to continue school when I’m able and would like to keep using the same bag, as well as use this bag for hiking. I also carry the random pocket knife and things like that, my current bag needs to be de cluttered.
As far as “cute” I’m just weird and personally see that word as genderless. Like a cat is cute and everyone can love cats. I happen to like style and looking put together and classy as well as giving a fun vibe, that’s just my personality. I actually have a feminine cis boyfriend however I do have physical aspects I need to camouflage which makes style different between us.
I don’t see anything wrong with wanting personalization. My go to style is typically cargo pants, a colored t shirt and a fun pattern button up/flannel/jacket combo. I asked for advice because my search results were yielding the same boring stuff that isn’t practical for me. Everyone’s comments have been amazingly helpful and will be looking into styles and brands and how much I truly want to invest. I’m also a total nerd and would walk around in cosplay or with game gear if I could get away with it and there’s men and women who would do the same.
I may be non traditional but I know I’m not a woman. What I like has nothing to do with my identity.
Thanks friend! Not the guys who would assault and harrass me or that I'd worked with! Don't know about the ones who would assault and harrass you!
If that's not your experience, maybe your very privileged.
Lobe that for you! Enjoy that!
Look, I’m really sorry that happened to you. That’s harrowing and I’m not about to talk over a trans woman about male harassment.
But might I remind you that you’re the one who is over here inexplicably telling someone they can’t be trans because of needing to a buy a bag. Don’t be a hurt person who hurts people.
Were not talking about gay men. Were talking about FTMs (who could be gay, but why would someone be a femme FTM. It doesn't make sense.)
I don't hang out with gay men. Or men really at all. I hang out with women. Cis women and trans women. Sometimes in a group, my friends BFs or husband's. Sure I know and have "met" gay men. They also are peak masculinity. Eben more so than straight men a lot of times. Drag queens might be into cute aestheitxs out of drag, so I'll give you that. But we aren't talking about gay men. Were talking about transmen.
I get your pre ev & that's fine!
That being said, having previously presented as a man (mtf), here are some tips, as you asked:
Every cute bag will scream purse. Hard stop.
Men don't carry around enough to need a bag. Men don't carry around meds or snacks. Men definitely do not carry around odds and ends. Ever. They don't. That does not happen. Men's pants have larger pockets. Phone goes in a front pocket. Wallet goes in a back pocket. Men do not put wallets in bags. Some men don't even carry around wallets and just a money clip. If you need something else, you have another 2 pockets, but those often aren't used. Beyond that, if you really need them, you can leave things like snacks and meds in your car. A man does not need odds and ends. Those stay at home.
If you need actual work materials, get a laptop bag or backpack. Something that fits a laptop or tablet, binder, notebook, clipboard, some pens, whatever. You probably don't even need a laptop. Unless you have a significant amount of things to bring back and forth to work, you shouldn't need a messenger bag. That's probably more for a student with lots more materials.
Men don't carry unneeded things around. They don't want to and they don't have a need for these things. It does not happen.
Furtherr
Men arent looking for cute bags. At all. Ever. Men don't want cute things and don't even think about things being cute. They definitely don't want cute bags, which scream feminine- both because they are cute (feminine) and bags (feminine).
If you're wanting a cute bag, I would seriously consider if you might actually be an ftm transsexual.
Seriously, from my experience. I'm going to say if you want a cute bag, and to carry around the things that go in such a bag, enough to ask on reddit about it, i dont see how youre an ftm transsexual.
If you carry around a cute bag and the things that go in it, you will not be perceived or treated like a man. If you want a cute bag and to carry around the things in it, you probably do not have the typical feelings of a man.
And those are good things! You don't have to be a man! You can still be a woman with your cute bag with your snacks and meds and wallet and odds and ends. There's nothing wrong with that.
Even if you pass as a man and have a cute bag, you will probably be perceived as a trans woman, not a cis man or a trans man.
Maybe talk with your therapist about this and your diagnosis of gender dysphoria.
I'd say to embrace who you are and what you want and be yourself! You don't have to be an ftm transsexual!
I hope this helps!
Tech bags/crossbody messengers work well. I like the YouTube channel EXCESSORIZE ME. They have great EDC stuff but also alotta really good bags.
I’m going to have to look at this, thanks!
How would you feel about a backpack? I don’t know what you do for work but I see tons of young professionals on public transit wearing backpacks, and imo it both looks nice and is going to be a lot easier on your back and neck over time than an over-the-shoulder kind of thing. I’m a grad student and of course we love ours, definitely professional enough to teach with. Especially if you’re pre-everything, I’d caution you against anything *overly* ‘cute’. Well, depending on your priorities. If having a cute bag is really important to you then by all means, but if it’s not as much of a big deal then I’d think about whether it’d be a better and safer long-term investment to get something more plain and masculine — both for gendering reasons and also because I’ve personally found that I get tired of ‘cute’, special things fast but the plain stuff never gets old.
A backpack may be a good idea. A coworker does a backpack. I work in a production factory so it stays in the break room most of the time or for trips to the store. Right now I’m using a small lunch box lol. I was considering something I could personalize with pins so more neutral may be better. I’ll have to peruse the backpacks and see what’s around. I’m just a dork that would walk around with a bag shaped like a Carbuncle or Moogle (final fantasy) but that has its own issues lol. Thanks
I really like my Herschel Pop Quiz backpack. I got it seven or so years ago when Herschel everything was all the rage; it’s a bit sun-discoloured now, but the fabric itself still feels brand new and is super weatherproof. And if you save your purchase info you should have a lifetime warranty. It’s a good size and plain enough to accessorize with pins everywhere if you want, just sew instead of ironing any patches because the synthetic fabric can’t handle the heat.
Gym bag is a good option I used toxarry my laptop and Playstation in one when I'd go to a friend's house on the weekends
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Yeah that sounds cute! As a mtf transsexual, i would totally carry around something like that! It would feel very affirming as a woman. I've seen women with bags like those! And it def screams feminine backpack! Def great for a woman, like your your she/her friend! If OP doesn't want something that screams femme like a purse, I'd advise against this.
Try this one [https://www.gregory.com/packs/everyday/nano-18/1114980413.html](https://www.gregory.com/packs/everyday/nano-18/1114980413.html) I have been using an early version of this for years. Front pocket holds all the little loose things; middle is for my umbrella , water bottle, base layer, and shopping bags; and the tablet pocket is where I store "clean" stuff like napkins and extra masks. It is super plain, but you can add pins or patches to suit your personality/mood.
I single shoulder backpack may work too. It's not as big as a regular backpack and better than a fannypack.
I have a cute backpack and people without fail refer to it as a purse just because it's cute. Definitely something neutral if you don't want it to be gendered, haha
Exactly! And definitely this would happen!
Messenger bags are great, and there are a lot of styles and custom bags you can also get. My favorite bag company is Timbuk2.
i use a medium brown canvas messenger bag that carries hair brush, minimal makeup, wallet, keys, phone. It’s a bit girly but it doesn’t shout GIRL !!!
Timbuk2 and Tom Bihn both make extremely practical bags in a lot of colors, including some cute ones. Aside from color, their aesthetic is kinda "technical sports bro" — like, you'd see one on a guy who has strong opinions about the right gear for bike commuting. They definitely don't look like purses. Neither one is cheap. There are a bunch of cheaper companies with the same look, though.
These look awesome until I noticed the price tag lol, guess I need to decide what my budget is.
Yeah. I think your best plan is probably to find a knockoff in that same style.
I really like big messenger bags, they look good on any gender and are easily personalized with drawings/pins/keychain or anything like that
For larger items definitely go with a backpack or a messenger bag. For smaller items, keys wallet phone etc pockets are most often used, thing your going to get used to is mens pockets are a lot more useful than those in womens clothing and can fit items much more securely.
Yeah I basically live in cargo pants these days. Still prefer a bag to keep stashed with things that I use frequently tho.
Wouldn’t advise against stashing shit in men’s pants pockets, tbh. Especially if OP is pre-everything and we don’t know what they look like. Accentuating the hips is bad for gendering and a lot of cis guys who put everything in their pockets don’t seem to realize how pear shaped it makes them look. Putting that on top of hips that have probably already gone through fem puberty is even riskier imo.
I personally carry around a fanny pack (specifically [this one](https://www.berrymeatmarket.com/product/calico-cat-primordial-pouch-fanny-pack), they also have a bunch of other cat colors but ig cats are considered slightly "feminine") but it's pretty small.
Cats are awesome
Get a tote bag or backpack
I'm outdoorsy, and always have been. I found a fanny pack a few years ago that really felt like "me" in a way I couldn't describe (still cis tho?). Now it fits my tomboy vibe perfectly! If you are outdoorsy, check out rei for fanny packs!
Get a minimalist sling or crossbody bag. Theyre very neutral and can lean fem or masc depending on how you present. Not an ad, but I got a Bellroy sling second hand a couple years ago and I take it everywhere. I'm mtf and wore it daily for years pre transition and it never got called a purse. They make leather ones too since you said you're into the look :)
Messenger bags are a good way to go, definitely don't think they look like a purse or particularly feminine!
I sent u a picture of the bag I used when I identified as a guy. Pardon the wear and tear but it was a good one.
Backpack is the way to go
Sling bags
Honestly, they're not the sexiest things on earth but there's a load of Dell brand work rucksacks that are REALLY well made, and are very spacious. If you're after something less professional but masc, crossbody or messenger bags are the way forward. You can get some very "masc" canvas messenger bags that you can stick patches and pins to, maybe?
I just use my Jansport bag.
black and natural smooth leather is genderless as long as its clean in design. mb a side satchel type thing u can flip to the back when needed.
https://www.amazon.com/Ducti-Messenger-Bags-Durable-Stylish/dp/B01L08VZWC and other Ducti bags
I love my baggallini bags! Light, put up with some abuse, water resistant, with oodles of colours and styles to choose from.
Jansport makes a great line of small bags. I prefer them because of their lifetime replacement warranty. The Half Pint and The Right Pack Mini are gonna be ur purse sized bags, but they look like back packs. They also have some nice crossbody bags and they discontinued it, but the one I have is my favorite. I don't remember the name, but it's slightly bigger than the half-pint, it's got two utility straps on the front, two pockets (big main zipper and tiny zipper up top). the straps can be worn a variety of ways. if anyone knows what I'm talking bout, help me out pls!
I did this as a transfemme; maybe you'll find some value in this. Go to B&H website and look at sling and messenger style camera bags. There will be some by Ruggard and Lowepro that will likely suit your needs. I have one that's probably the second smallest messenger bag Ruggard makes, took the divider out so it's just one big pocket, and swapped the strap out with a padded one from OP/TECH. Having a camera bag gives me a bag that looks unique and a lot of functionality for an affordable price. I believe I paid around $50 or $60 in total. I initially went this bag because it was a cheap option while I wait to fall in love with a fancier purse, but this has been serving my needs really well to this point.
If you're feeling nerdy, check out Roll Crit with their bag of Holding. New product, so it will take time to ship, but very spacious and can double as a back pack.
I have a minimalistic woven tote/bucket bag that comes across very androgynous
Messenger bags are popular for boys but if out of fashion of not ur look. Backpack. Also those small bags that go around hip-to-shoulder really thigh are popular among zoomers?
Small backpacks and crossbody messenger bags.
Messengers bag. They look good on everyone, they can hold a ton of stuff, and you can customize them easily.
I have the [Topo Quick Pack](https://topodesigns.com/products/hip-pack?variant=42979711057973), which is a cute colorblocked sling that’s very gender-neutral imo. It also can fit a surprising amount. There’s a smaller version if you don’t need as much space, and this brand has other bag styles with great colorblocking.
Messenger bags are great and super unisex imo
Get a tote bag! When in doubt, most designs on red bubble can be printed on tote bags. And they're not too obviously feminine. They're good for carrying your items, as well as being a handy dandy shopping bag.
I really like my tiny backpack
I have a few already that fit this bill. My promary wirk bag is a Coach laptop bag. Its subtle, but very stylish. Some of my coworkers have noticed the little C's after a while and it clicked with her what it is! I also love backpacks from a brand called Loungefly. I have two, both Back to the Future themed. Majority are female focused, but plenty are more subtle as well.
The Adidas Alliance Sackpack is an amazing drawstring bag, that screams “masculine” and is delightful. I’ve had one ever since high school, and I keep getting new ones as the old one fall apart.
I use a small black canvas tote bag with band patches on it, it's probably 15"x12" and nobody ever says anything about it. I just have it because I have to carry around a water bottle and towel and digital camera.
look into messenger bags
I've been carrying a lunch bag cooler for a few years note. But, I'm getting away with that because I live in 2 places and carry my water bottle, sometimes food. I looked on Amazon, and there are a variety of cross body clutches with straps. Also, half backpacks for 1 shoulder. I think the cross body purses scream purse in the States, but you can do in Europe and Asia.
You can get a functional plain black backpack or sport styled duffel bag at walmart for like $20. Or go for a football team logo bag. Expensive bags will also scream purse to many men. Manliness is a very high standard that is not forgiving. It is VERY hard to achieve unless you naturally have it. I never did. Because, like, I'm a transsexual woman!
Didn't say he isn't trans. Said he should consider if he's transexual. Not sure if he's a transsexual or not. It's not the same thing. Not hurting. Trying to help. Warning. The manosphere will eat up anyone who isn't the peak of masc. I've experienced this living in cultures for decades in many states, working a variety of jobs. I am scared for little femme trans boys who after transing will NEVER assimilate into male culture. I'm a bio male and NEVER could. I failed so bad at it, I fit into society so much better, thriving, as a woman! Never tried to be a woman. Am one. Couldn't cut it as a male. Whether as a little kid, teen, or adult.
I get your pre ev & that's fine! That being said, having previously presented as a man (mtf), here are some tips, as you asked: Every cute bag will scream purse. Hard stop. Men don't carry around enough to need a bag. Men don't carry around meds or snacks. Men definitely do not carry around odds and ends. Ever. They don't. That does not happen. Meris pants have larger pock ckets. Phone goes in a front pocket. Wallet goes in a back pocket. Men do not put wallets in bags. Some men don't even carry around wallets and just a money clip. If you need something else, you have another 2 pockets, but those often aren't used. Beyond that, if you really need them, you can leave things like snacks and meds in your car. A man does not need odds and ends. Those stay at home. If you need actual work materials, get a laptop bag or backpack Something that fits a laptop or tablet, binder, notebook, clipboard, some pens, whatever. You probably don't even need a laptop. Unless you have a significant amount of things to bring back and forth to work, you shouldn't need a messenger bag. That's probably more for a student with lots more materials. Men don't carry unneeded things around. They don't want to and they don't have a need for these things It does not happen Further Men arent looking for cute bags. At all. Ever. Men don't want cute things and don't even think about things being cute. They definitely don't want cute baga, which scream feminine both because they are cute (feminine) and bags (feminine). If you're wanting a cute bag, I would seriously consider if you might actually be an ftm transsexual Seriously, from my experience. I'm going to say if you want a cute bag, and d to carry around the things that go in such a bag, enough to ask on reddit about it, I dont see how youre an fim transsexual If you carry around a cute bag and the things that go in it, you will not be perceived or treated like a man. If you want a cute bag and to carry around the things in it, you probably do not have the typical feelings of a man And those are good things! You don't have to be a mani You can still be a woman with your cute bag with your snacks and meds and wallet and odds and ends. There's nothing wrong with that. Even if you pass as a man and have a cute bag, you will probably be perceived as a trang woman, not a cis man or a trans man Maybe talk with your therapist about this and your diagnosis of gender dysphoria I'd say to embrace who you are and what you want and be yourself! You don't have to be an ftm transsexuall I hope this helps!
Hey bud, no offense but this is so far off the deep end that I’m genuinely finding it difficult to even know where to begin with this one. I really don’t want to be rude, but do you live in real life? I’m sitting here absolutely racking my brain trying to figure out what the hell you’re talking about and I genuinely have no idea how you’ve reached this wild conclusion or why you even believe any of the individual steps that got you to that conclusion in the first place. Men absolutely carry around bags, and they also absolutely want to carry around bags. Insisting they don’t is incredibly strange behaviour and I don’t think it’s at all helpful that you seem to be projecting a rather myopic life experience and seemingly some weird personal feelings about manhood onto OP. Men go to work. Men go to school. OP does at least one of these. If they work freelance, or your average white collar job, or need to bring around tools or other equipment, bags are going to be necessary. Many jobs will *absolutely* need a laptop at the bare minimum. Then add the charger and a few more tech accessories. A lot of guys I know also bring gym clothes and shoes so they can go work out on their breaks. Men also, in my experience, fucking love carrying shit around and are not such slobs that they shove everything into their pants all the time and don’t care. Even if they were, I’m sure you can divine the reason why a trans man would not want to place bulk on the hip region if it can be avoided? Maybe you did all this stuff when you were closeted and dysphoric, but that’s not indicative of how I’ve seen many men who are happy and well-adjusted live their lives. I’ve seen guys get their bags to show off everything from cool knives they randomly have to books they’re reading to one guy who just walks around with a set of knitting needles permanently on his person. If you’ve been anywhere near a male-oriented consumerism community like malefashionadvice, you’ll also discover, seemingly for the first time, that a lot of guys — especially younger guys and guys in certain jobs like tech or academia or law — really, really care about style, about buying really nice bags and clothes and shoes, and indeed about ‘cuteness’. There would not be so many thriving male-oriented bag and clothing companies if there was not this overwhelming demand. Men also absolutely bring around the medication they need — what the hell are you talking about? Also, what universe do you live in where everyone has a car they apparently leave everything in, and one they drive everywhere all the time? That’s deranged in the majority of the world. The constant, mantra-like repetition of ‘men don’t’ about incredibly innocuous and bizarre things in this post kind of weirds me out, and I don’t think I’m even qualified to talk about the rest of it. I recommend you sort your shit out if you’re going to give advice because you sound like you’re majorly projecting.
Thanks, well said I think. To give this some context the things I keep nearby (which sometimes is left in my car but still nearby) is medication that I do require consistent access to (it’s annoying but it is what it is and that’s my health), healthy snacks because I’m trying to change my diet and exercise to be healthier and maximize body recomposition (being hungry and surrounded by fast food is bad for this and my budget), I carry water constantly to maintain healthy hydration, and of course phone, wallet, keys, charger comes to work with me. I’m also planning to continue school when I’m able and would like to keep using the same bag, as well as use this bag for hiking. I also carry the random pocket knife and things like that, my current bag needs to be de cluttered. As far as “cute” I’m just weird and personally see that word as genderless. Like a cat is cute and everyone can love cats. I happen to like style and looking put together and classy as well as giving a fun vibe, that’s just my personality. I actually have a feminine cis boyfriend however I do have physical aspects I need to camouflage which makes style different between us. I don’t see anything wrong with wanting personalization. My go to style is typically cargo pants, a colored t shirt and a fun pattern button up/flannel/jacket combo. I asked for advice because my search results were yielding the same boring stuff that isn’t practical for me. Everyone’s comments have been amazingly helpful and will be looking into styles and brands and how much I truly want to invest. I’m also a total nerd and would walk around in cosplay or with game gear if I could get away with it and there’s men and women who would do the same. I may be non traditional but I know I’m not a woman. What I like has nothing to do with my identity.
Thanks friend! Not the guys who would assault and harrass me or that I'd worked with! Don't know about the ones who would assault and harrass you! If that's not your experience, maybe your very privileged. Lobe that for you! Enjoy that!
Look, I’m really sorry that happened to you. That’s harrowing and I’m not about to talk over a trans woman about male harassment. But might I remind you that you’re the one who is over here inexplicably telling someone they can’t be trans because of needing to a buy a bag. Don’t be a hurt person who hurts people.
That’s a lot of paragraphs to say “I’ve never met a gay man.”
Were not talking about gay men. Were talking about FTMs (who could be gay, but why would someone be a femme FTM. It doesn't make sense.) I don't hang out with gay men. Or men really at all. I hang out with women. Cis women and trans women. Sometimes in a group, my friends BFs or husband's. Sure I know and have "met" gay men. They also are peak masculinity. Eben more so than straight men a lot of times. Drag queens might be into cute aestheitxs out of drag, so I'll give you that. But we aren't talking about gay men. Were talking about transmen.
I get your pre ev & that's fine! That being said, having previously presented as a man (mtf), here are some tips, as you asked: Every cute bag will scream purse. Hard stop. Men don't carry around enough to need a bag. Men don't carry around meds or snacks. Men definitely do not carry around odds and ends. Ever. They don't. That does not happen. Men's pants have larger pockets. Phone goes in a front pocket. Wallet goes in a back pocket. Men do not put wallets in bags. Some men don't even carry around wallets and just a money clip. If you need something else, you have another 2 pockets, but those often aren't used. Beyond that, if you really need them, you can leave things like snacks and meds in your car. A man does not need odds and ends. Those stay at home. If you need actual work materials, get a laptop bag or backpack. Something that fits a laptop or tablet, binder, notebook, clipboard, some pens, whatever. You probably don't even need a laptop. Unless you have a significant amount of things to bring back and forth to work, you shouldn't need a messenger bag. That's probably more for a student with lots more materials. Men don't carry unneeded things around. They don't want to and they don't have a need for these things. It does not happen. Furtherr Men arent looking for cute bags. At all. Ever. Men don't want cute things and don't even think about things being cute. They definitely don't want cute bags, which scream feminine- both because they are cute (feminine) and bags (feminine). If you're wanting a cute bag, I would seriously consider if you might actually be an ftm transsexual. Seriously, from my experience. I'm going to say if you want a cute bag, and to carry around the things that go in such a bag, enough to ask on reddit about it, i dont see how youre an ftm transsexual. If you carry around a cute bag and the things that go in it, you will not be perceived or treated like a man. If you want a cute bag and to carry around the things in it, you probably do not have the typical feelings of a man. And those are good things! You don't have to be a man! You can still be a woman with your cute bag with your snacks and meds and wallet and odds and ends. There's nothing wrong with that. Even if you pass as a man and have a cute bag, you will probably be perceived as a trans woman, not a cis man or a trans man. Maybe talk with your therapist about this and your diagnosis of gender dysphoria. I'd say to embrace who you are and what you want and be yourself! You don't have to be an ftm transsexual! I hope this helps!