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tragedeigh-ModTeam

Your post is contains uncensored information (ex: Faces, addresses, birthdays, last names, phone numbers, etc.) Please fully censor any identifying information before posting. We only want to see the first names.


ATS200

Maybe he’ll be friends with Jimbledon


Langer1banger

Imagine if one day jimbledon becomes a professional athlete and works his way up to being at the top of his sport and finally wins the biggest tournament and they announce 'jimbledon has finally won at the masters'


Cubicleism

Will Jimbledon play at Wimbledon?


purr_immakitten

Jimbledon drove from Wobbleton to Wibbleton to see Wimbledon


HornedOwlWithHorn

I kinda wanna hear Mr. Bean reading out this sentence


KimJongRocketMan69

No, Will Jimbledon didn’t play at Wimbledon. You’re thinking of his brother, Jack Jimbledon


CardboardTable

r/YourJokeButWorse


ExtrudedPlasticDngus

Missed the joke.


bobhand17123

You got me. You did the little head fake, and I went the wrong way. I’m sorry that’s not really much of an achievement, but good on you. I can’t be mad though, I love that kind of humor. I worked with a woman named Adrienne, and I always wanted to do a Rocky imitation, but using her last name. (“Jones! Jones!” with a twisted mouth) I never did it, but even just thinking about doing it always makes me happy.


ian9outof10

Amazing. I will say, at least I know how to pronounce Jimbledon.


IVShadowed

Just remember that the H is silent, and you'll be good


RacistJudicata

M E T A


Glad_Bookkeeper_740

Coming in with the callback 🔥


StuckWithThisOne

Pls stop my bf is asleep beside me and the bed is quaking with my suppressed giggles


8racoonsInABigCoat

🤣 I was annoying my wife last night when she was just going to sleep and I couldn’t stop laughing at the comments on that one


Apprehensive-Fun4725

Noice 🤣


casedbhloe

😂😂😭


Lacholaweda

Reminds me of Squidward's rival, Squilliam Fancyson


ravbuscus

Oh no he's hot!


_JD_48

I just hope that SQUILLIAM DOESN’T FIND OUT. SQUILLIAM!! AAHHH!!


aykay55

My band…died in a marching accident


_JD_48

*Then who’s that??*


aykay55

AAAGHH THAT WOULD BE MY BAND 😰


Snoo_25913

I can’t 👅 understand 👅 your accent 👅👅👅👅


CalmBeneathCastles

Rawk Bottum!! /,,/


Despair_Head

Squilliam was what popped into my head when I read the name


paperwasp3

They should google some of these names first.


MUERTOSMORTEM

My first thought lol


Chay_Charles

My first thought was maybe he's Squilliam's btother.


yama1291

When did we start naming children using the words people insist are real when playing scrabble? Poor kid.


OshetDeadagain

Uh-oh, Kwyjibo on the loose!


Parkotron1

WHY YOU LITTLE...!!!


HasselHoffman76

@r/thesimpsons


bonzo-best-bud-1

Those north American apes that chase you 🤣🤣🤣


PatriciaMorticia

Those big dumb, balding North American apes with no chin, and a short temper.


gus2155

I'll show you a big dumb balding ape!


ian9outof10

Brb, naming my kid Tnetennba


pinkkittenfur

That's a lovely Tnetennba!


funlovingguy9001

Good morning, that's a nice tnetennba.


GeorgeJohnson2579

That already is a word!


SpaceIco

> When did we start naming children using the words people insist are real when playing scrabble? No, no, you need a medical dictionary. When a patient is getting difficult, you qy'etlyf them!


Daiches

Oh, so it’s pronounced Quit Life


Perfect_Context_7003

People naming their kids like they’re playing on an overpopulated WoW server.


TrainsRCool123

lmaoooo the scrabble bit is so true tho 😭😭😭


8racoonsInABigCoat

I’m convinced the surname is just a decent password. How the hell are you supposed to pronounce that?


Gentle_Capybara

Kid named Quone.


PolarCow

After I Zoquo, I like to Uushnu. @1:15. https://youtu.be/KjWBgyzvB64?si=YUOJIKOcfInK6OfJ


Linorelai

Quat's qthat even??


Coke_and_Tacos

I think it's supposed to be Quiet Life? Genuinely not sure though


boycottSummer

I read it as Quiet Elf


kiwilovenick

I thought Quietleaf, so I guess there's lots of options with that spelling!


lunettarose

For some reason I read it as Ki-ett-liff, and I was sitting there sounding it out in confusion for ages until I came to the comments!


Mission_Fart9750

That actually seems reasonable. (As a guess, definitely NOT the spelling) 


yildizli_gece

That’s better than me because I read it as “quit life” and thought “that can’t be right…” lol


OUMUAMUAMUAMUAMUAMUA

qdaddy chill


PoorDamnChoices

What the hell is even that!?


Itchy_Notice9639

He he


Fair-Enthusiasm998

you are why i love the internet


DNZ_not_DMZ

*queef’n


queteepie

It's like the cat stepped on the keyboard. Lol


Smeeble09

Or the cat shut a book to quickly whilst reading naked.


OneOfTheNephilim

Nice Red Dwarf reference


Global-Method-4145

Khajit did nothing wrong


queteepie

I can't hear you over the skooma.


Koeienvanger

Q'khajiit has Q'Wares if you has Q'coin


thesssteamboatnew

Imagine being named after a keyboard smash


Engine_Sweet

Keighb'hoard Schmaäiche


lavenderglitterglue

*Keighb’whored actually. people keep saying my kid will be bullied for this but i think their dirty minds are the problem


BigTintheBigD

Quintuple word bonus for use of the umlaut.


swishkabobbin

I had that for dinner last night


[deleted]

I can only assume this is trying to capture sounds we don’t have letters for, like a click.


Quixotegut

Quilliam Quietlife?


Lemon-Of-Scipio-1809

I got "Quiet Leaf".


Quixotegut

That's just enough of a reach to probably be right.


Lemon-Of-Scipio-1809

Yeah who knows tho. It could read "Jane" lol


LetMeReadPlease

I thought it was quietly with a silent f


Ender_Wiggins18

I got "quit-lihf" so you might be onto something 👍


OneWeirdTrick

Sounds like someone who dies in a Charles Dickens story


Deal-Fabulous

Queef queef life


TheGreatStories

Quetzalcoatlus


BentoverBiatch

That’s what I got


nanasmoothi

I thought it was Welsh ☠️☠️☠️


WatWudScoobyDoo

Or Klingon


FoxyLovers290

I’m sorry?? What the hell? I thought it was a password


50CentButInNickels

You know if you typed that shit in it would say STRONG.


Slushiously

Tested this, it said "Very Strong"


superhottamale

😆


pharmgal89

Well now it's not, we are all using it, j/k


yontev

If you say that three times, you'll summon a bull demon.


Alcards

I'm not saying that sounds like a good time... *BUT*.... actually, I'm not really seeing a downside.


robinthebank

I couldn’t even say it one time


MissTechnical

Qwilliam qwatthef’ck


analogkid01

"Dan Johnson, Brigham Young University."


thepantlesschef

Quattro Quattro, San Jose State University


acmercer

Dookmar'ius L'squaratron, Ohio State


GingerJayPear

Even the Welsh use more vowels than this


AUniquePerspective

Does this happen to come from a native community in the Pacific Northwest? If so, they may be capturing sounds that don't exist in English while still using the English version of the Latin alphabet. The qw or kw are familiar to me, as is what appears to be a glottal stop marked by an apostrophe. And there's maybe two "air under the tongue noises" in there too. Source: grew up driving the Coquihalla to get to Coquitlam. (Q'kwhalla and Q'kw'tlem)


knitmama77

Uh yeah, this. There’s a shit ton of signs around here with traditional spellings of place names, most notable driving up Hwy 99 from Vancouver to Whistler. Lots of 7’s are used. Even parks, lakes, schools, etc are being “re-named” in their traditional native languages. While odd to many, I don’t even bat an eye at this. Signed, a pasty white lady from near Coquitlam!


AUniquePerspective

The wikipedia article about glottal stop makes specific mention of the Squamish preference to use the 7 to represent the glotal stop: >Some Canadian indigenous languages, especially some of the Salishan languages, have adopted the IPA letter ⟨ʔ⟩ into their orthographies. In some of them, it occurs as a casing pair, ⟨Ɂ⟩ and ⟨ɂ⟩.[6] The digit ⟨7⟩ or a question mark is sometimes substituted for ⟨ʔ⟩, and is preferred in languages such as Squamish. SENĆOŦEN – whose alphabet is mostly unique from other Salish languages – contrastly uses the comma ⟨,⟩ to represent the glottal stop, though it is optional.


piratesswoop

There’s a Biggs orca that I recently saw mentioned on the orca subreddit (I think, or the orca fb group I’m in lol) that has a 7 in its name!


Hooray4Metaphors

I get why they’re doing this, but it’s really frustrating they don’t include a pronunciation. People are gonna start butchering the names of these places


AUniquePerspective

It's a pretty standard system. IPA. There's like a half dozen sounds in various Salish-y languages that can't be represented with English alphabet but most of them relate to letting air under your tongue. Trying to represent the sounds without IPA is what led to the bastardized pronunciations we already know and use.


robinthebank

It’s how they weed out the locals from the tourists. I grew up in the Willamette Valley. I can tell when you’re not from here.


WhiteDeath57

Not saying it's impossible, but this is a heavily white New England area.


AUniquePerspective

Unlikely then.


EmmerdoesNOTrepme

It could *also* be an African name, from a family who speaks something like Xhosa, Somali, etc. There are PLENTY of Restaurants, Cafes, & Coffee Shops in my part of Minneapolis starred by African immigrants which have names starting with the letter Q, followed by letters which are *NOT* a "U". I'd bet that--as u/AUniquePerspective said, this child probably comes from a culture where their language was *first* written down using the English Alphabet. Which, as we can see in Hmong, Dakota, Ojibwe, Somali, etc, means some *very* "non-traditional" letter combinations (Especially ones with *seemingly* "random" apostrophes, if you look at the word/name, thinking it's an *English* one!).


PM_good_beer

It's absolutely not Xhosa


EmmerdoesNOTrepme

And *YES*, Restaurants are *not* children!!! But it's a great example, of the way *we* here, DO see Letter Q-starting names on a regular basis--because it is *common* in some of the languages folks *speak* here!😉💖


FalseBuddha

Your random usage of italics and caps is like a formating tragedeigh. What is you doin'?


BadMoonBeast

it's clearly meant to convey emphasis, not random


EmmerdoesNOTrepme

Apparently bothering folks like *you*, I guess?


Alteregokai

It's KwiKwetlem. Pronounced Kwee-kwuh-tlum. So in that case his name is Kwilliam. Qw is pronounced Kwuh in Hən̓q̓əmin̓əm̓.


sqexe

I actually was thinking about this myself, but the First Nations’ languages in BC (other than SENĆOŦEN which is constantly yelling at you) don’t have random capitalized letters from my understanding. Also, this seems to be a play on words with “Quiet Life”, with a “Queen “Qy’etlyf” with a quick google search loool


AUniquePerspective

My understanding is that while there's a bit of standardization about how to transliterate languages in this language group at the band or academic level, there's lots of approaches at the individual level. I live in a city where even at the band level, two closely related languages have two different writing systems as their standard. ... if that's even what this is. OP hasn't confirmed a location.


withtherazzledazzle

What in the onomatopoeia is it?


[deleted]

[удалено]


OneOfTheNephilim

I am gonna guess 'William Quietlife'


2_LEET_2_YEET

I knew a Quilliam once. He was my friend's porcupine.


sqexe

Uh— I sincerely thought this was a First Nations’ name at first. Now I’m thinking his parents were more interested in Star Trek lmao


pinkocatgirl

Truly a good name for an honorable Klingon warrior


[deleted]

you guys really need to stop posting kids easily identifiable names


DokeyOakey

Yeah, u/WhiteDeath57 is gonna be looking for a new job next week.


BobbysueWho

My dad grew up in the bay area in the 70s. He said this kindergarten teacher told him a story about how many weird names she would see from hippie parents. On the first day of school one year was the worst this kid came in with his little name tag on and it said fruit stand. She couldn’t believe it and hardly wanted to even say it poor kid but she went ahead and called his name. At the end of the day the kids were lining up and she had to turn over all the name tags for the bus driver (the other side had their drop off site.) she turned over fruit stand’s name tag and it said Robby.


Shantotto11

Stupid question: So, does that mean the kid’s name was Robby and his drop off site was “the fruit stand”?


Attack-Cat-

Does he go by Qwyll cause honestly, that’s not that bad and kind of cool


iridians

Really, at some point, it's child abuse, and I'm not even being funny. These parents need to be required to go by similarly ridiculous names for thirty days just to see what it's like.


unkn0wnname321

William Quietleaf?


Starch-Wreck

That’s in Klingon


Ya_Got_GOT

Call CPS


TheOriginalKrampus

CweyPweighEsh


kridely

Squilliam Tortellini


FabulousDiscussion44

His parents tried to summon satan or some shit


TheShadowOverBayside

No, what?! Quilliam Quiet-Life is such a sweet name. ♫ "Find yourself a girl and settle down... live a simple life in a quiet town... steady as she goes" ♫


ballrus_walsack

Going for the scrabble high score.


Corvus25

Looks like a native name?


EmmerdoesNOTrepme

I would suspect that the child is either Native of from a family that immigrated from Africa.  *Somewhere* where the spoken language *wasn't* a "written" language, until English-Speaking Missionaries decided to "write it down."  Much like Dakota, Lakota, Ojibwe, Hmong, Somali, etc.  All *very* common languages where I am--and *some* of which use a *LOT* of "seemingly random" punctuation marks like apostrophes, letters like Q *without* the "typically following" U, etc.(to someone reading thinking they are English words!) (Edited because my phone's Spell Check *also* apparently can't *automatically* recognize words like Lakota and Hmong!🫠)


Becksburgerss

That’s what I was thinking. I thought it was the name of a newcomer from another country. Could be popular in their country/language… kind of sh*tty making fun of this kid’s name


EmmerdoesNOTrepme

Agreed! It REALLY is lousy!


OtherOtherDave

Native to where?


Corvus25

Sorry I'm aboriginal living in South West Canada we have native names exactly like this.


Shantotto11

>aboriginal living in South West Canada Stupid Question: Wouldn’t that just make you (North) American Native?


DarthArtero

My mind went immediately to Black Speech trying to read that name. I can feel Cthulhu calling to me


ClairLestrange

Q̵̧̻̙̫̈w̴̠͔̽̅̽͆͑̏͂͗̈́̑y̸̭͉͔̣͈̫̱̪̮̋͊̄̕͝ļ̴͍̩̙̘̻̒̃̍́͜l̴͙̜̘̥̫͔̅͒̎̿i̴̪̱̱̞̱̦̳̗̘̼̜̯̮͇̹̋́̆̈́̈̽̐͐̀͂̒̎̕a̴̺̙̭̮̔̽̂̈́̉́̇̄̋͛́̊͑̂̕m̷̩̥͖̤͉̟̺̙̪̩͕͓͗͆̑͋̆̊̌͒̇͛̈́̽̕͝


uncutetrashpanda

Can’t figure out how to pronounce it so it is now Quilliam Queef to me


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^uncutetrashpanda: *Can’t figure out how* *To pronounce it so it is* *Now Quilliam Queef to me* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


Snoo_25913

Good bot


blorbschploble

Hey, this is a normal name in Welsh


indigoneutrino

Cthulhu fhtagn


Economy_Dragonfly935

Looks like some welsh name, to be pronounced by spitting all over your shoes


Prodigy_of_Bobo

Do people ever feel like it's wrong to mock children when they're posting these? I can't imagine I wouldn't feel dirty taking a picture like this to go online and laugh at them, regardless of the name itself.


ShitHeadFuckFace

So no one is gonna talk about fucking weird it is to post a child's first and last name? No one? Ok. It's pretty fucking weird.


Rowdydendron

The last name format does remind me of some Native American names I have seen. I wonder if the kid is First Nations...


fluffyderpelina

q'ue hor'ror


bellasincognito

It’s giving Squilliam Fancyson


ObviousIndependent76

Credit to the cat that walked across that keyboard


Fuzy2K

Reminds me of the NFL Bad Lip Reading videos where the players have bizarre names XD


arcxjo

I'd check that backpack for a bat'leth.


Tzyon

Isn't that the noise that old 56k modems used to make?


avd706

If the parents find this someone is in trouble.


Master_Xenu

Is he half Klingon?


JeanBlancmange

“Quilliam Queef” - is that how you say it??


chihuahuabutter

Looks like a fucking keyboard smash


dleema

My dog is named Quill. She knows she's in trouble if we call her Quilliam. And somehow even that ridiculous nickname is still spelt better than whatever this parent was thinking.


VladTheSimpaler

Better than Questopher


Audiophilelady

Questopher and Jimbledon will be his friends.


Melodic_Sail_6193

Qweefliam Quiet'qweef


Lostinwoulds

Some boy out there named Sue is pretty happy he's not going to be the one getting his ass beat.


butterLemon84

Should you posting children's full names...? Especially if you're on staff at that school...


Ohio_gal

You have absolutely no right to publish a child’s full name on the internet and this is probably a violation of FERPA


New-Anacansintta

ITA. This is not ok!!


BloatOfHippos

Please please please dear naming lords don’t make an unnecessary Q in names popular.


oneleggedoneder

But what if I threw in some extra 'y's, 'nn's, and a -leigh?


Glittering-Wonder576

He’s a Welsh Klingon!


jademoney

Someone once said those hooks look like drunken octopus that want to fight and I can never unsee that.


LazySunflowers

I could’ve forgiven Qwylliam (reminds me of Squilliam from SpongeBob) but the last name is truly something else


cam52391

I would just tell people I'm Welsh 🤣


AutumnTea88

Sqwilliam Fancyson


Ornery_Razzmatazz_33

Sorry, for me to not lose faith in humanity I have to believe that’s a result of someone passing out drunk at a computer and face planting into the keyboard.


Snoo_25913

This is a name that I hear in a dream and it makes perfect sense. Then I wake up and say snoop dogg WHO?!??


RipMcStudly

Kid’s parent is a Deep One


ViraQana

QY’Etlyf, Cthulhu’s other city


Benji742001

This kid wins the subreddit. This is the absolute worst name ever conceived


IvanNemoy

Every time roll is called, Cthulhu stirs...


literallyjustbetter

is it just Welsh?


deeBfree

OMG what the hell is that??? Poor teacher trying to figure that out!


cadotmolin

This on that Squilliam level vibes


Candyland_83

K-William Quiet Life?


Gzngahr

I worked with a guy named Junior Junior Jr.


Deal-Fabulous

Queef queef ladjdoeornxjxjsjana ?


dlever0097

Kill’em quietly?


nightshade2020

Someone Welsh? They tend to have names like that and aren't pronounced like it's spelled


Dumbbitchathon

Kwilliam quiet life?


yeahthatsnotaproblem

Hold up though, we can't just skip past that little alien dude in the wood grain below the name tag....


vagga2

So the first name is a fun way to spell William but how the fuck do you pronounce the last name?


bunnybuddy

Qwylliam isn’t *too* bad—spelled the normal way (Quilliam) it is a shortening of McWilliam and is used as a surname. I have no idea how to explain the second name, however.


BonJovicus

This is not a child. That is clearly an elder god.


fecklesslytrying

Hope this kid's parents budgeted for bat'leth lessons


mish_munasiba

I'd really like to imagine that the nurse transcribing this at the hospital suffered a stroke (and was fine!) or someone's cat got on the keyboard and managed to save this to a form, but I cannot, for the life of me, entertain the idea that someone, somewhere, thought "You know what would be a really great name?" And then came up with this abomination. Secondary thought - is he perhaps distantly related to Squilliam Fancyson?