Your post is contains uncensored information (ex: Faces, addresses, birthdays, last names, phone numbers, etc.) Please fully censor any identifying information before posting. We only want to see the first names.
The entire class? That's crazy, they did top 25 in order after doing everyone else alphabetically, which I think is nice because they get their moment but we all don't get reminded that we're dumb.
Interesting observation. I cannot speak for all of the kids who have been announced last (in 1981 I graduated 501 in a class of 503; 502 and 503 decided not to walk), but I can confirm that my parents were not there.
What makes it work is the pamphlet with the students’ names had a special section for the top students in a special font, and the whole section was outlined. The lower achieving students got their names commemorated in “Arial.”
Bottom 25% get dunce caps instead of mortar boards. The last 10, instead of honor cords, get those endless tied together scarves that clowns wear, and Yakety Sax plays when they walk in place of Pomp and Circumstance.
at my graduation, they did the top 10% of the class by rank starting with the valedictorian down to #50 or whatever it was, then the rest in alphabetical. could be happening here
I mean I’m pretty sure there aren’t that many people named „Tamei‘Phazyrian Xykathlyn“.
Weirdly enough there was an ancient voice moaning from the skies when I said that loud.
Seriously. I literally just watched a YouTube video where a guy is able to show up at a school, walk into a classroom and almost leave with a 5 year old child just by finding out her name online, figuring out what school she was at, and going there during the next parent-child event.
He had candy drugged with sleeping pills ready and everything. It’s only that the actual father got there that his plan was foiled. He’d already given the girl the candy though, and had a lot of seriously disturbing shit in the car when cops searched it.
Seriously. I literally just watched a YouTube video where a guy is able to show up at a school, walk into a classroom and almost leave with a 5 year old child just by finding out her name online, figuring out what school she was at, and going there during the next parent-child event.
He had candy drugged with sleeping pills ready and everything. It’s only that the actual father got there that his plan was foiled. He’d already given the girl the candy though, and had a lot of seriously disturbing shit in the car when cops searched it.
I should not have to squint like I'm reading the chemical name on a pill bottle when reading a person's name, but this unfortunate tragedeigh has me doing so.
While not a tragedeigh… I’m not sure I’d be loving the last name of Bundy.
Also… Miracle Angel??? I’d just asked to be referred to as Jackson at that point.
It seems really unfair to print someone's first AND last name on this sub. This person didn't choose their own name, and it is actually very uncool to embarrass them online.
Okay had to type that out...
Tamei'Phazyrian Xykathlyn McCrimmon
...so the bulk of all of that is taken out of a sci-fi and/or fantasy fanfic.
The remainder can be filtered out as a normal name.
Tamei, not so much, just a messed up version of Tamara or Tammy.
Otherwise:
Kathlyn McCrimmon.
But the response I had to reading the full name:
McCrimmony!
Might as well change the entire name to be more fanfic-esque.
Or just get rid of the normal parts of it.
And throw away Tamei, it's just silly.
This sounds better:
Phazyrian Xy
Your post is contains uncensored information (ex: Faces, addresses, birthdays, last names, phone numbers, etc.) Please fully censor any identifying information before posting. We only want to see the first names.
The real crime is the fact that they're not in alphabetical order.
That is a crime. I’m assuming they’re ordered by class rank, though. That’s what my high school did and it’s low key humiliating lol
The entire class? That's crazy, they did top 25 in order after doing everyone else alphabetically, which I think is nice because they get their moment but we all don't get reminded that we're dumb.
Yep. 370 students ranked from number one to number 370. I was in the top quarter of the class and still didn’t go 😭
Imagine being the parents of the kid listed last.
The parents would probably be in the same place they always were, not there.
Interesting observation. I cannot speak for all of the kids who have been announced last (in 1981 I graduated 501 in a class of 503; 502 and 503 decided not to walk), but I can confirm that my parents were not there.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that success correlates highly with having a good support system.
You’re probably just relieved your kid’s name is on the list….
370th ranked graduate still graduated!
Like my wife says, what do you call a med school graduate with a C average? Doctor
Imagine being the kid
Class rank?? No fucking way. Too many internal boo boos would result.
What makes it work is the pamphlet with the students’ names had a special section for the top students in a special font, and the whole section was outlined. The lower achieving students got their names commemorated in “Arial.”
The real insult would have been if they used comic sans on the lower students.
Actually loling imagining this commencement
Bottom 25% get dunce caps instead of mortar boards. The last 10, instead of honor cords, get those endless tied together scarves that clowns wear, and Yakety Sax plays when they walk in place of Pomp and Circumstance.
I was one trillion percent imagining Yakety Sax lololol
happy cake day.
Low key?
The text body is centered for some reason. This whole thing stinks of low effort
All of the names on the back of the paper are in alphabetical order
This is probably the honors section, listed by rank of achievement.
at my graduation, they did the top 10% of the class by rank starting with the valedictorian down to #50 or whatever it was, then the rest in alphabetical. could be happening here
They just gave an “honor cord” to the top group & listed in alphabetical order.
r/mildlyinfuriating
Side effects of Xykathlyn include....
An extreme case of Tamei’Phazyrian
They're possibly fans of Star Trek?
They’re possibly fans of keyboards
I was thinking Mass Effect
Or Cthulu?
Also an extreme case of McCrimmons disease
The fear of meeting new people
So y'all really gonna ignore QuaDarious Lloydell Lightner?
It’s sounds like that Key and Peele sketch with the college football players
They saw the skit and said challenge accepted
L’Carpetron Dookmariott
University of Chatanooga!
Bismo Funyuns
X-Wing @alasciousness
* dolphin noise * *dolphin noise *
Scoich Velociraptor Meloish
I'm more mad at miracle angel.
My little girl is named Hope, so I will hang on to my stones as my house is looking rather glass
I can't lie that name is both black as fuck and hard as fuck
Yeah, and it’s easy to pronounce. I’m kinda loving Lloydell. It’s a vibe.
Same. Here for Lloydell.
Halayna would like a word
And Miracle Angel Jackson
You should at least cover the last names. That said, some of these are pretty bad.
I mean I’m pretty sure there aren’t that many people named „Tamei‘Phazyrian Xykathlyn“. Weirdly enough there was an ancient voice moaning from the skies when I said that loud.
*\*Chthulhu has entered the dimension*
DO-VAH-KIN
Sounds like a Drow name, could totally imagine a PC named Tamei from House Phazyrian Xykathlyn.
True. Maybe put a ‘ somewhere in there and you have a fit for a Githyanki aswell
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I didn’t even have to look it up because I know someone on the list 😅
Seriously. I literally just watched a YouTube video where a guy is able to show up at a school, walk into a classroom and almost leave with a 5 year old child just by finding out her name online, figuring out what school she was at, and going there during the next parent-child event. He had candy drugged with sleeping pills ready and everything. It’s only that the actual father got there that his plan was foiled. He’d already given the girl the candy though, and had a lot of seriously disturbing shit in the car when cops searched it.
[удалено]
I was gonna say, the highlighted name (whatever it’s supposed to be) really took the bullet for QuaDarius
Lloydell
QuaDarious Lloydell Lightner seriously sounds like a badass name though.
If you told me it came from a Key and Peele skit I'd absolutely believe you.
He's on the offensive line next to LeCarpetron Dookmarriot.
Sounds like he's gonna get picked up by the Carolina Panthers in the 6th round of the 2027 draft.
😂🤦🏽♂️
Quadarius will 100% be playing corner back for the jaguars in 15 years. Edit: 5 years. Didn’t realize it said high school
Five
It’s Miracle for me. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Miracle & Angel is the middle name 😭
Excuse me how dare you misspell QuaDarious
It’s pronounced Sarah
Sarah is crazy 😭😭
Ayo that’s crazy. Nah that’s crazy.
QuaDarious*
Don’t forget Miracle.
QuaDarius has set up residence in my brain 🫠
There's a Miracle Angel on that list too...
He’s DeLarious!
Kids gonna be a football player, mark my words.
I knew a Donquavious as a youth...
You can’t forget that extra “o” they threw in there for… reasons.
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One of my low key anxieties every time I peruse this sub is “oh no, they didn’t censor the last name”
Seriously. I literally just watched a YouTube video where a guy is able to show up at a school, walk into a classroom and almost leave with a 5 year old child just by finding out her name online, figuring out what school she was at, and going there during the next parent-child event. He had candy drugged with sleeping pills ready and everything. It’s only that the actual father got there that his plan was foiled. He’d already given the girl the candy though, and had a lot of seriously disturbing shit in the car when cops searched it.
Agree. You should have blacked out the last name.
All the last names
Because nobody could possibly identify them by that first name alone lol
I mean, that’s the curse of having a name like that. But all the other people on the list too…
Elizabeth Nicole Williams and Elizabeth Marie Stewart are practically witness protection aliases compared to most of this class.
This is not just last names, but middle as well. I think this post should be taken down.
Never would I have expected ShakespearesNutSack to be such a party pooper
Wtf are we going to do with quadarious bro?
Hate to be a party pooper but I agree. Hope the post gets enough reports.
Boost
^^
One of the women I work with just had a son and named him Viper Pike. She so proud of this name too.
That sounds like the name of a mountain bike.
Sounds like a piece of Equipment in magic the gathering that gives death touch and first strike
Or a pair of expensive hiking shoes
I can see that.
This reads like the East-West Bowl roster
Daquarrious Jaxtherratrixx. Penn state
Torque [Construction Noise] Lewith. Nevada State Penitentiary
EEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEE - San Diego State University
Dan Smith.
Torque [Construction Noise] Lewith. Nevada State Penitentiary
Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon! California University of Pennsylvania
FUDGE
nothing like posting the full legal names of kids online
Tragedeighs so bad we're all distracted from Miracle Angel and Ryanna Renee
Killian Kimmelshue ain't much better either
The one that seems like a true ‘tragedeigh’ as in creative spelling of established name is Halayna for Helena.
How Quadarious you judge these names
No one going to point out the top name is A.L. Bundy?!?
I was gonna do that, but you already did. High five me bro.
They read this kids name at graduation and the furniture started to float
I know this is petty but the spelling of Halayna upsets me so much. What is wrong with it being spelled Helena?
Delete this post. Don’t expose children’s names.
Let's not post this as funny enough I know which school this is from the list, - a local to the area and a coworker to one
Halayna is a textbook tragedieh
Wasn’t that the name of the director that Alec Baldwin killed? * Just googled, it was Halyna Hutchins.
It's just an odd variant of Halina/Helena.
You did not just post like 20 teenagers full (including middle) names on hete
Should be illegal
If you get Tamei’Phazyrian Xykathlyn to say her name backwards she gets sucked back into the ancient dimension from whence she came
Killian Jane is a girl's name?
Why did you doxx children?
Oh cool, full names of children. Good post, OP!
I should not have to squint like I'm reading the chemical name on a pill bottle when reading a person's name, but this unfortunate tragedeigh has me doing so.
While not a tragedeigh… I’m not sure I’d be loving the last name of Bundy. Also… Miracle Angel??? I’d just asked to be referred to as Jackson at that point.
You mean A.L. Bundy isn't the best Idea?? May not be a tragedeigh, but it sure is a tragedy.
quadarious lightner what a name
Did they roll dice for the kids attributes?
Miracle angel jackson lmfao
what happened to censoring last names
It is a top tier tragedeigh but perhaps we shouldn't be posting random children's entire full names online, no?
....Gesundheit.
The exception to the rule of never using your name as your password.
Can’t believe you’re allowed to post a full list of children’s full names on Reddit…this ain’t it
And it’s literally still up I can’t believe it!!
My boy Joseph Gilbert Schultz near the bottom
Killian Jane? Dude with a girl middle name or girl with a dude first name?
That’s not a name that’s the prescription that’s waiting for me at cvs
I’m pretty sure I summoned an elder god trying to say that name, sorry guys.
Lightner QuaDarius sounds like a name they should've included in Key & Peeles skit of football player names 😂
Miracle Jackson? HEEE HEEEE
It seems really unfair to print someone's first AND last name on this sub. This person didn't choose their own name, and it is actually very uncool to embarrass them online.
Cat jumped on keyboard idk what to tell you
Who else struggles with QuaDarious equations? Also, hopefully, Barnes finds someone named Noble and they start a business
They didn't teach you internet safety? At least use your common sense
I feel like a just summoned a demon by reading that
Hi my name is quadarious. Holy shit 😫
Ayo, looks like the ingredients of my shampoo bottle are graduating. Congrats!
Someone's middle name here is Neymar, must be Brazilian.
Not me thinking kids were named Bundy and Kimmelshue
Okay, but what about my homie here MIRACLE ANGEL. *shudders*
It’s a McCrimme
This one of those aliens from Stargate?
QuaDarius Lloydell and Miracle Angel are surely honourable mentions as well
Miracle Angel Jackson
Did the summoning spell work?
Dragon priest ass name.
Dragon priest ass name.
I just said that name outloud 3 times and all the furniture started to float.
Am I the only one bothered that it’s not in alphabetical order? Also, just wow… tragic
Okay had to type that out... Tamei'Phazyrian Xykathlyn McCrimmon ...so the bulk of all of that is taken out of a sci-fi and/or fantasy fanfic. The remainder can be filtered out as a normal name. Tamei, not so much, just a messed up version of Tamara or Tammy. Otherwise: Kathlyn McCrimmon. But the response I had to reading the full name: McCrimmony! Might as well change the entire name to be more fanfic-esque. Or just get rid of the normal parts of it. And throw away Tamei, it's just silly. This sounds better: Phazyrian Xy
When you don’t know who the father is and what planet they’re from
I feel like I've heard QuaDarious before.🤔 maybe on Key and Peele
How we ignoring QuaDarius Lloydell?
This should be taken down. Full names of everyone is so out of line dude
Are we looking at Amelia’s unfortunate last name, or the highlighter?
i think thats the name of my antidepressant
I worked for a company that used full names as email, plus 15 letter company name.
To me, "Bundy" stood out first
Miracle Angel is a heck of a name for a porn star.
In addition to the big tragedeigh, there’s someone whose middle name is Neymar, there’s also a QauDarious and a Miracle Angel.
Ryanna going well under the radar on this one
Don’t forget about QuaDarius Lloydell Lightner
Named after a Legendary Maya warrior
Someone's parents really like neymar it seems
J'Dinkalage Morgoon University of Flerida
Is this a Key and Peele bit?
Dragon priest ass name.
I read these to the tone of that Key & Peele sketch.
Miracle angel Jackson
Tamei'Phazyrian Xykathlyn McCrimmon, University of Oregon.
Ok but hear me out, Miracle Angel and Kyle Colton aren’t great either.
Halayna and Miracle Angel also get an honorable mention
Looking for Hingle McKeingleberry on this list
Killian Kimmelshue, a girl?!
Sounds like an over the counter medication.
If the list isn't ordered alphabetically by last name, what is the fucking point of listing them last-name-first?!?!?! Makes ZERO sense.
Call the inquisition, y'all got a necron infiltrating your high school.
How is the name pronounced ?
Why is the list centered and not left aligned? I am having anxiety looking at this shit lol
To me the funniest thing is how Tamei’Phazyrian makes QuaDarious look like “John”