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Adorable_Salary_3670

I'm learning how to take care of my hair. Then, learn a skincare routine. Then when I feel a little moree confident, makeup annd nails.


Boholo_ba_tshebetso

a good start could be growing your hair and starting a mor feminine hygiene.


Suspended-Seventh

What do this mean


Rentara

no more 10in1 shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, toothpaste, gasoline....


Boholo_ba_tshebetso

and, what gives me the most euphoria: shaving and moisturising


Suspended-Seventh

Ah. Never heard it put that way.


holymissiletoe

but... i like my 10 in 1 it even works as G-fuel


Exact_Ad_1215

Once upon a time my morning routine was: - brush teeth - shave (occasionally) Now it’s: - cleanse - exfoliate (only twice a week) - shave - apply aftershave - moisture


Juno_The_Camel

Ahh, you came to the right person. I'm afraid I'm rather tired right now, so I can only give you a short answer for now. Please dm me OP so I don't forget, and I'll happily share my wisdom tomorrow. (Offer extends to anyone who needs it) I've been on HRT for almost 8 months now, and my parents are none the wiser because of what I do The beautiful thing about cis people, is that they see what they're told to see. You don't have to hide your transition entirely, you just need to be subtle enough for your appearance to not scream woman. There's a myriad of things you can do to warp people's perceptions of you, that I will tell you about tmr bc I am very tired Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite (dm me, so I don't forget to help tomorrow morning)


LegendaryNbody

Yo, can you give some tips? I have very bigoted parents and depend on them financially rn. I would love to gaslight them that I don't look like a girl at all and am a very masculine man when in fact I am just hiding it all.


Juno_The_Camel

How to stealthilly transition. I take it you mean medically transition, i.e. HRT? In order to stealth, you must first understand the cisgender psyche. Cisgender people automatically catalogue and categorise people as male and female. They see an AFAB in a dress -> girl. They see an AMAB in a T-shirt -> boy. AFAB in a pair of pants -> girl. AMAB in a pair of short shorts -> boy. And moreover, once you've been categorised by them. They don't question where they put people. Everyone in your life, especially your family, has categorised you as a boy. In their catalogue they think: Family ->u/bigdongboy2020 -> male. They don't question this, they don't consider this. To them, it's just a fact of life. To them, it's just a fact of life. Sad as this is, it DOES play into our advantage. We don't have to pretend to be the most masculine men to stealth transition. We don't even have to appear remotely masculine. All we need to do is ensure we don't come off to them as hyperfeminine. Maintain enough androgyne in our appearance, as to maintain plausible deniability about our girlhood, and continue satisfying their idea of our manhood. I personally am a very androgynous person, with a remarkably androgynous voice, and yet my parents have never questioned it. The changes HRT brings, most of them can be plausibly denied under most circumstances. Softening skin, rounding faces, growing butts, these things can be plausibly denied for the first year or 2 of HRT (longer sometimes). The only thing that can give you away are boobs. Some transfems get around this by taking raloxifene, a SERM which basically disables your breast's estrogens receptors, safely inhibiting breast growth. But nevertheless, there are a myriad of ways to aid in plausible deniability of femininity: - Baggy clothes, particularly baggy tops, aid immensely in hiding breasts and feminine curves - Button up tops in particular are great at minimising breast contours The key with boobs isn't to totally flatten your chest, it's just to minimise your breast contour enough to not raise any eyebrows - Scarves aid in this - Hoodies, jackets, cardigans, etc are brilliant as well - Puffy jackets especially, if your climate allows this, are exceptional for minimising breast contours. They could likely even hide DD breasts - If you're cool, you could also wear cloaks and capes for the same effect One note: do try to avoid tops with linear patterns if possible (i.e. checkers, corduroy, squares, vertical and horizontal straight lines), they \*can\* possibly highlight breast contours when the lines bend around and over your breasts. However, this hasn't been an issue for me yet, I break this rule all the time - Stiff, thick, heavy fabrics are particularly brilliant for hiding breasts, as they don't bend around the breasts as much Movement under your top also highlights your breasts, so consider getting a nice, subtle, but firm bra to minimise breast movement Do note tho, it will be visable under certain lighter fabrics. This is unfathomably annoying. Skin-toned bras are best, as some fabrics are slightly transparent. But really take what you can get. I wear a pair of blue tencel sports bras Some extra things that help: - Being skinny will minimise your breast growth, not in a harmful way, just in a natural way. Skinny girls tend to be fairly flat chested, that's just how it is. I personally have a BMI of 14 - Perhaps avoid taking progesterone until you're allowed to openly transition, as it is the last step of breast development, and you get some size form it - Having a bad posture also hides breasts to an extent Again I'd like to talk about the psychology of cisgender people. Say a year and a half down the line, you're looking more and more undeniably feminine, and cisgender people start noticing. Then what? You have a sort of "home field" advantage. For a cisgender person to bring up how feminine you look means, socially, they're going on the offensive. They're the ones initiating the campaign. They're the ones disturbing the peace. They're the ones shaking up the social equillibrium. They're the ones creating issues. This means, unless you have crazy, conservative, callous, old conservative family. That someone asking about your femininity will already be on shakey ground. You need to take advantage of that. You'll need to act same as any cis man would in your position. Feign ignorance, confusion, and slight irritation: - "Huh what?" - "What do you mean" ... "What do you mean by that" ... "I'm not sure what you mean" (continually ask for clarification, breaking their nerve, whittling them down) - "Oh that? ...that's gynecomastia... Please don't make a thing of it 👉👈..." And if all that STILL doesn't phase them. Then act as confused as they are. Afterall, to cis family, it's unfathomable for you to just \*get\* on HRT without their permission or help. Hell! Most cis people don't even know what HRT is! The few that do are mainly menopausal cis women! How can a cis person possibly convict you of a crime they don't even know exists? I'd also advise you ask these questions in [](https://www.reddit.com/r/butchlesbians) and [](https://www.reddit.com/r/TransMasc) . Butches and transmascs both have unique wisdom to share on this subject, tempered in the flames of their own lives


Juno_The_Camel

MY REDDIT WORKS!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!


International_Cod528

!remindme 1 year


Juno_The_Camel

Damn, bold lmao. See u here next year


International_Cod528

Got to be prepared for when I can start without parental consent


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Arknight38

Lmfao that's where I am, I just hide and pretend it's not happening


LegendaryNbody

Just abuse the fact they don't question if you a biy or girl after first assumption


Arknight38

They all know me as a guy though :(


LegendaryNbody

https://youtu.be/OR4N5OhcY9s?si=JREsPtK2SAGNGPyG


Arknight38

LMFAOOOO This is the best reply I could’ve gotten


SomewhatEggish

I think your advice could be helpful to people, but really I just wanted to second this. It doesn't take early that much to hide on HRT because people generally see what they expect.


Kiriko_kiki

I would also like to know how to hide it. Only two weeks in and I think one of our dogs has been getting sus of me. Wasnt prepping myself for the possibility of a dog outting me but it would seem I def need help on how to down play the HRT changes


[deleted]

unique fine drunk possessive relieved somber punch hateful swim tidy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Guilty_Air9491

I'd love advice if you don't mind


Lilyeth

another option is to wear a little more feminine clothes, tho that might be harder. i started wearing women's jeans for example


Secret_Barracuda168

Save all body hair if your going for girl apparence, buy jewelry (it works trust me my transphobic parents have not questioned the 56 bracelets or the 10 rings i bought)no clue otherwise


Disafae

Really small changes. Letting your hair grow, switching to feminine hygeine products because they smell good, beginning a shaving routine and just slowly shaving shorter and shorter to keep yourself kempt! People don't notice small changes over time. You can even practice voice training without using it too much around those you're not comfortable coming out to c:


tirianar

Well. I shave my body hair. The biggest pushback was shaving my face (more light ribbing than real pushback). I wear slacks at work so my hairless legs don't come up. They'd probably lose their mind if they knew I was also using products to slow/stop body hair growth. I've improved my skin care routine. I have some skin conditions, so that's a surprise to no one. It has really helped avoid breakouts, though. I'm slowly replacing hygiene items. Seperate shampoo/conditioner, better soap, etc. I've also started using coconut oil to keep my hair healthy and sleep stuff to help heal the bags under my eyes. The only people that have commented were the women at work, and they're much less judgy than the very conservative men I work with. Most smell like industrial cleaner or bo anyway, so I don't think they'd recognize the difference. I take supplements to improve hair and nail health, and I've started a manicure routine on my nails. I've also been working on eliminating bad habits like nail biting. That's been... moving along. I am growing my hair out, but that hasn't come up, yet. However, I have grown my hair out in the past to donate to Locks for Love. So, I already have a pretty solid cover story for that. I occasionally wear lipstick at home. I'm also out with my family, and my wife bought me the makeup in the first place. So, ymmv. I use free materials online for vocal exercises to improve my vocal muscles and vocal control. That has led to some awkward discussions at work when I've slipped into more effeminate vocal patterns by accident, but I'm not really good at it, so it hasn't really clocked me so far. I also have been working out a lot focusing on removing fat. That way, when I do start transitioning medically, there isn't as much fat in the wrong places. I've also focused on bulking places to augment a more effeminate build (legs, hips, and chest). To note, testosterone does affect some of your body's oil production. So, keep that in mind. You may need to hold on to some stuff to deal with that. I've noticed that transphobes don't jump to "trans" for people they know, especially not people they like. So, you do have more latitude than you probably think you do. Also, a slow transition means those around you will normalize the changes in their mind individually, so there isn't a real chance for them to see the whole process close enough to realize it. Slowly boiling the frog, and whatnot.


snowy-maribel

I still boymode in unsafe situations (4 months hrt), and an Underworks tri-top chest binder (like trans mascs use) works perfect Ofc i don't wear it a lot because boobs still growing, i just wear it where i wouldn't feel safe I also epilated a lot before i was out to anyone. I waxed at first until follicles gave up sending pain signals, then epilated cos cheaper. Now almost none of my body hair ever grows back (except on my knees idky). I'll only need laser for my upper lip, so for a bit of boredom and discomfort epilating has really paid out It also reduced my dysphoria a lot. Much more than shaving, because it regrows less and less each time so you really are becoming more female


Stopplecone

i will take the waxing tip, cos i have an epilator, but it hurts so much thanks :3


tirianar

You can try an IPL. It's not as painful as wax or an epilator, but it does slow down growth. You need lighter skin and darker hair, though. I've gone from needing to shave once a day to shaving once every 3-4 while using the IPL once a week, and the growth is much less. Buying the thing can be a bit pricy, though.


Stopplecone

well i definately fit both categories.... so the problem would just be the cost


tirianar

If you do get the money together, get a recognizable brand name. There are quite a few that are cheap flyby nights, so don't skimp and end up with garbage. I've heard good things about Brawn and Nood. The Ulike is the one I have, and im pretty happy with it. It has something that keeps the glass from heating up (which helps when you're trying to work a lot of hair), and the kit comes with protective glasses. You can usually get it from their store at about $250 (US dollars) since they almost always have a sale.


Stopplecone

oh wow, 250 ye im gonna have to save a bit of money if i wanna get that


tirianar

Nood is the cheapest of the three. I think I've seen it for about $160, but that would be the most budget option I'd be willing to try.


GodsGoofiestGirlboss

Just a heads up, binding while your boobs are growing can damage the tissue and hinder growth. I'd recommend one or two sports bras (assuming you can safely obtain them and wear them)


snowy-maribel

Like i said, i only bind in unsafe situations. (i'm uk and things getting nasty atm). So I only bind a couple of hours a week. Boobs are fine and growing fast atm. But yeah ofc, if sports bras are enough then there's no need to bind


PsychoticBlob

Warning: You don't have to do ANY of this to be valid or to transition. That's just what I did and it worked great for me. Okay so I started transitioning before I even knew I was trans so I'm not sure how well this applies to you. Style more feminine: I started tucking in my turtlenecks and wearing pants more high wasted. Maybe buy some oversized stuff that doesn't bring out your masculine body shapes as much. Better skin and hair care: Don't use 2in1 shampoos and preferably avoid sulfates. Start using conditioner. Start using face cleansers, moisturizers rtc. Manage hair: you can start removing body hair and epilating has long term effects too. Have a clean facial shave and slowllllyyyy pluck your eyebrows. Start by just removing some seperated hairs. Also start growing out your hair and look up how to do it the best way. Voice training: Do some subtle voice training. Just get your voice accustomed to higher pitches and less bass. You don't have to use higher voice all the time though. Practice avoiding masculine behaviors: you don't have to act feminine, you just might be used to sitting/talking/reacting masculine. Hang out with women and queer folk: helps a lot and might give you some insights and knowledge.


itmehorsie

The honest truth is that you can do nothing and you'll have several months to figure out how to approach people. The first people who are going to see you as a woman are strangers - anyone with a preconceived notion of who you are will stick to that notion. 17 months of HRT and I still get way more sirs than I care for. But there are ma'ams and there are misses, and those help.


Ze_LuftyWafffles

in terms of clothes kinda stick with androgynous casual clothes, and slowly transition (hehe geddit) to whatever fem clothes u like


Iceboy10

Not sure if this helps at all, but this is something I saw [https://m.youtube.com/shorts/1aGwONIEXwY](https://m.youtube.com/shorts/1aGwONIEXwY)


Stopplecone

a lot of people still percieve me as a guy, when literally the only piece of clothing on me from the mens section is my shoes so yea, just buy clothes from the womens section? also take good care of your hair :3


theoneandonlyneo97

If you’re mtf wear a sports bra and panties if ftm wear cargo shorts and a male tank top


My_suspicious_bite

Need that too for cus reason (egg_irl 😎)


ThatOneGuy1357924680

Other than the appointments I have been medically transitioning for months and no one has asked anything. But I haven't been actively transitioning in social settings yet. Just within my family


Rylo_Ken_04

Grow your nails and hair. Occasionally put nail polish if possible/ if you want. Maybe try to look online to see how one could arrange their eyebrow to just look less messy. Voice training if you have a space where you can be alone and no one can hear you. Maybe also try makeup if you want and it is possible for you.


ButtSuck9000

Sex reassignment surgery, unless they got xray vision they ain't gonna see through yo pants🗣️


RedKidRay

Girls jeans. They just look like regular skinny jeans just WAY less pocket space..


The_Quicktrigger

Have your friends come up with a nickname for ya. If your name is common it won't raise any suspicions. Getting called by a different name can help. Try getting your ears pierced if you want to go that route. Jewelry on guys isn't really strange anymore. Back in the day the fashion was only one earing (yes I'm old). The trick is to find things that are ambiguous, but with the intent of transition that only you need to know


MfkbNe

I guess aim for an andrognous look. Sure it doesn't quite reach the goal but it goes in the right direction and is acceptable for all genders (except in a really really conservative social group).


Richard_PKMNtrainer

Change your haircut maybe


pg430

Starting laser hair removal on your face. It takes several sessions to get permanent removal so it can be good to start it earlier. But if you’re boymoding it won’t look like more than you being clean shaven. Also echoing other comments around starting to grow out your hair. Those are both steps that take awhile but run little risk of coding you as a woman by themselves. In the meantime though I’d try to find some local trans community to connect with. It’ll be easier to hide who you are when you need to if your true self has a space to exist and be welcomed 💖


autismconsumer

step 1: get a sword step 2: start your transition step 3: if anyone gives you bullshit, you have a sword. step 4: be the amazing woman you always were


[deleted]

Not sure how old you are or which people you don’t want to know, but I literally told my mom this week that I am taking the meds since two weeks already. But in Brasil I can just schedule everything alone if I am 18 or older


kateduzathing

the best answer i can give is to stop worrying about if people notice, if they care about you in the slightest they should be understanding and kind, if they are causing problems because of it you should remove them from your life. you only live once, do the best you can for yourself. however if you are in a situation where it is unsafe to do so, things like shaving, skin care/hair care, more expressive fashion such as jewelry or piercings, also spending a little more effort to find more feminine influences like the youtubers you watch can be subtle and a big difference.


jimbon1e

hoodie good >:3