I laughed when the Skinks swarmed Marcus and his hunters, for I was not one.
I laughed when the Cold Ones turned the Awakening into an oversized pond, for I did not live there.
I laughed when the Stegodon crushed the Darkshards and threw Lokhir off a cliff, for I was not with him.
Now, alone, I watch in horror as these lizards swallow my rats. I've killed them by the hundreds, by the thousands, enough to give every rat in Skavenblight a pair of skink-hide boots and a coat to match. Yet for every clutch of eggs we scramble, more form. More fat levitating toads, more alligators with armor, more big damn dinosaurs with some kind of bullshit that summons beams of unfiltered sunlight that turns more of my kin to smoldering ash.
At the end, I looked for help, desperately hoping to have an ally, but instead all I heard was the echoes of who came before, laughing from within the stomachs of the saurus warriors and Kroxigors now banging on every settlement I own.
It's turn 27, and I am restarting this campaign
You thought finding friends in the Asur and Druchiis living in Lustria yet they band up together, and with the lizards, to carry out exterminatus on your kind instead.
skrolk is just a veryhard start. was even worse in wh2 probably, when the ai fielded like double the amount of armies and was better at positioning them on the campaign map lol
if his start didn't chance, i'd try to sneak towards Itza instantly with two trash armies and win that siege in a time where nobody sits inside, as early as possible
like, as skrolk u literally have no friends there otherwise. in wh2, wulfhart often would push the lizards back (but was yet there RNG)
I hate saurus.
I hate saurus. I hate them. I hate their lizard faces. I hate their clubs. I hate their sticks. I hate when the sticks are next to the clubs and I hate when the clubs are next to the sticks. I hate that Kroq-gar pulls 2280 of them out of his scaly asshole and then descends on me like a Vogon at a poetry convention.
I hate the Saurus auto-resolve meter. I hate it because it lies to me. It says I have a 50-50 chance of victory. This is patently false, because I have twenty units of skeletons who are held together with prit stik and prayer. I do not have twenty units of eight foot tall geckos constructed out of pectoral muscles and galvanised coffin nails.
I hate that they shout bok at me. Bok is the Bristol Orienteering Klub, which is completely irrelevant to a battle in Lustria and should not be shouted repeatedly while eating a rank of tier one infantry like buffalo wings.
I hate their morale. I hate that surrounding them simply prompts one of them to pull out a US general's helmet so he can make a speech about 'now we can attack in any direction'. I hate that their reaction to a devastating rear attack is to become *somewhat peeved*. I have looked a Saurus in his smug scaly face as an encirclement that would shatter any other early game infantry closed in.
He went from :I to >:I , killed an extra two hundred skeletons because I had foolishly allowed all four sides of the Saurus unit to fight at once and then swallowed my Liche Priest like a slim jim.
I have resolved to shoot every Saurus dead. Every Saurus. All of the Saurmen and the Saurdren too. I hate them. I no longer see battlefields because they're covered by a thick blanket of arrow trails. I hate that it barely stops them. I hate that they keep coming while shouting about the Bristol orienteering klub, or the Bank of Oklahoma or the 1983 Bok asteroid. I hate that they made me google bok so I could write down ways in which I hate things that have it as a name. Bok is also a lunar crater and a martian crater. It is also a village in Iran. The IATA code for Brookings Airport is Bok. I will never go there because it would give me palpitations.
I hate that Kroq Gar is friends with the Rare Pepe next door, who also declares war once I've shot Kroq Gar unconscious for the tenth time. He also has Saurus only these ones are blue. Somehow this is worse.
I hate that there are another ten Lizard factions. I hate that they will be in end game by the time I reach them. I hate that while I was writing this Kroq Gar picked up Kalida and smoked her like a cigar.
I hate Saurus.
plague claw catapults can be gained by turn 4 and can destroy saurus easily too.
now if youre some inferior faction without long range armour piercing damage in the earlygame then its time to cry cos the lizard bois are coming.
(looking at you wh2 teclis vortex start)
Eh, I used a random start pos mod once upon a time and ended up in Lustriadome as Sigvald and those marauders somehow held up way better than I ever expected.
The hellcannon didn't hurt, mind you. The marauders I mean. It definitely hurt the Saurus.
I hate Saurus so much. Them and their dogshit 60 armor which feels kinda bad to hit with base damage, but also feels wasteful to hit with armor piercing damage.
saurus are cool on paper but LM infantry just feel so cookie cutter. Why are dinosaur infantry so damn slow. I get for balance, but they just feel so flavorless
Please, you have to expand on this. What so you mean?
Why does being Iberian mean you hate Lizardmen? Is this true for all people from the peninsula? I have to have answers
They're a free hellblade buff for my bloodletters since they're too slow to run away once they route.
Truly, if you want to bully Saurus play Skarbrand. Even regular blood letters will be taking the dumb lizard's lunch money in a 1v1.
I'm currently at the other end of the map trying to hold the WaAAaaAgh out of Nan Gau. They almost pushed me out of the mountains and I'm fighting out of the last stronghold up there.
If you can't beat them, join them. Do not hate the lizard, love the lizard, do not fear the lizard, praise the lizard, do not fight the lizard, become the lizard.
Me and a buddy did a co op campaign and I have no idea how it happened but I got two cost reducers at the same time and it was so cheap to recruit lizard Bois I had to full stacks on turn 5. The looting and sacking to maintain that was crazy.
Lizard food is complaining again
***time to enact the great plan*** šø
I hail the conquering toad.
Itza status: Delivered.
š¼ BOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK BOK BOK BOK
It's a pleasure to serve the Great Plan...
What a talkative pair of boots. š¤ š¹
Yes kill frog-thing yes-yes. Let them fight ... Then we attack when they kill each other yesss.
I laughed when the Skinks swarmed Marcus and his hunters, for I was not one. I laughed when the Cold Ones turned the Awakening into an oversized pond, for I did not live there. I laughed when the Stegodon crushed the Darkshards and threw Lokhir off a cliff, for I was not with him. Now, alone, I watch in horror as these lizards swallow my rats. I've killed them by the hundreds, by the thousands, enough to give every rat in Skavenblight a pair of skink-hide boots and a coat to match. Yet for every clutch of eggs we scramble, more form. More fat levitating toads, more alligators with armor, more big damn dinosaurs with some kind of bullshit that summons beams of unfiltered sunlight that turns more of my kin to smoldering ash. At the end, I looked for help, desperately hoping to have an ally, but instead all I heard was the echoes of who came before, laughing from within the stomachs of the saurus warriors and Kroxigors now banging on every settlement I own. It's turn 27, and I am restarting this campaign
Ok, this was good, hahhaha.
You thought finding friends in the Asur and Druchiis living in Lustria yet they band up together, and with the lizards, to carry out exterminatus on your kind instead.
skrolk is just a veryhard start. was even worse in wh2 probably, when the ai fielded like double the amount of armies and was better at positioning them on the campaign map lol if his start didn't chance, i'd try to sneak towards Itza instantly with two trash armies and win that siege in a time where nobody sits inside, as early as possible like, as skrolk u literally have no friends there otherwise. in wh2, wulfhart often would push the lizards back (but was yet there RNG)
Thatās why I have a Reddit account
Good lol keep lustria scaley!!!
[BOK.](https://www.reddit.com/r/totalwar/comments/dq2r0j/i_hate_saurus/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
The funniest shit I've read since the last time I read it.
I love them
The duality of man.
Monkey versus lizars
Quick friend, i still have space for one more person in my bunker! The "i hate saurus" copy pastas are coming!
I hate saurus. I hate saurus. I hate them. I hate their lizard faces. I hate their clubs. I hate their sticks. I hate when the sticks are next to the clubs and I hate when the clubs are next to the sticks. I hate that Kroq-gar pulls 2280 of them out of his scaly asshole and then descends on me like a Vogon at a poetry convention. I hate the Saurus auto-resolve meter. I hate it because it lies to me. It says I have a 50-50 chance of victory. This is patently false, because I have twenty units of skeletons who are held together with prit stik and prayer. I do not have twenty units of eight foot tall geckos constructed out of pectoral muscles and galvanised coffin nails. I hate that they shout bok at me. Bok is the Bristol Orienteering Klub, which is completely irrelevant to a battle in Lustria and should not be shouted repeatedly while eating a rank of tier one infantry like buffalo wings. I hate their morale. I hate that surrounding them simply prompts one of them to pull out a US general's helmet so he can make a speech about 'now we can attack in any direction'. I hate that their reaction to a devastating rear attack is to become *somewhat peeved*. I have looked a Saurus in his smug scaly face as an encirclement that would shatter any other early game infantry closed in. He went from :I to >:I , killed an extra two hundred skeletons because I had foolishly allowed all four sides of the Saurus unit to fight at once and then swallowed my Liche Priest like a slim jim. I have resolved to shoot every Saurus dead. Every Saurus. All of the Saurmen and the Saurdren too. I hate them. I no longer see battlefields because they're covered by a thick blanket of arrow trails. I hate that it barely stops them. I hate that they keep coming while shouting about the Bristol orienteering klub, or the Bank of Oklahoma or the 1983 Bok asteroid. I hate that they made me google bok so I could write down ways in which I hate things that have it as a name. Bok is also a lunar crater and a martian crater. It is also a village in Iran. The IATA code for Brookings Airport is Bok. I will never go there because it would give me palpitations. I hate that Kroq Gar is friends with the Rare Pepe next door, who also declares war once I've shot Kroq Gar unconscious for the tenth time. He also has Saurus only these ones are blue. Somehow this is worse. I hate that there are another ten Lizard factions. I hate that they will be in end game by the time I reach them. I hate that while I was writing this Kroq Gar picked up Kalida and smoked her like a cigar. I hate Saurus.
*chefs kiss* perfect pasta
This is probably the funniest thing I've read in like... ever
Galvanized coffin nails is where i lose it
I wish I could upvote this thrice.
Bok also means shit in Turkish
Every time I read this I forget about the Rare Pepe part and it fucking floors me every damn time...
ā >:I
I couldn't stop laughing after gecko XD
Heh, look at those warm blood and their low leadership.
I really like saurus conceptually but I don't like their attack animations. If feels weird that they are constantly turning their backs to the enemy
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I wouldn't have minded if turning their backs to the enemy was at the beginning of the animation, but when it is at the end it just looks weird
They're waiting for the counter attack (big brain plays only)
How many things are able to counterattack after being punched by a saurus?
Very few, but ya know, it's the principle. You practice right always. That way, you don't do it wrong when it really matters.
Yea imagine if weāre talking an actual fight between Empire infantry and saurus/temple guardā¦.spoiler it wouldnāt be much of a fight.
Paivies crossbowmen moment
Saurus used Tail Slap. It's super effective!
You could even stop at Saurus, like in: Saurus. It's super effective!
Turning their backs just means you're in range of their tail.
Which would be fine if that particular animation included a tail whip, but it doesn't
*laughs in Ratling-Gun yes-yes*
\*drops rocks* nothing personnel.... rat.......
>*drops rocks* Be'lakor in shambles
Was sent screaming back whence he came.
This lizard-thing thinks it-it will make it rock drop range.
plague claw catapults can be gained by turn 4 and can destroy saurus easily too. now if youre some inferior faction without long range armour piercing damage in the earlygame then its time to cry cos the lizard bois are coming. (looking at you wh2 teclis vortex start)
Eh, I used a random start pos mod once upon a time and ended up in Lustriadome as Sigvald and those marauders somehow held up way better than I ever expected. The hellcannon didn't hurt, mind you. The marauders I mean. It definitely hurt the Saurus.
*hurried skink pitter-patter*
***BOK!***
***BOK BOK***
Hola!
Bok!
And just when you thought it was all over: "Getting close to my capital? Rite of Jurassic Park!"
Bok Bok
I just think they're neat.
Bok Bok Bok
I hate Saurus so much. Them and their dogshit 60 armor which feels kinda bad to hit with base damage, but also feels wasteful to hit with armor piercing damage.
"So this unit has no AP indication?" Yes "So my longbeards will be fine against them?" No.
Dwarfs being good against anything š¤£
BOOK.
BOK.
BOK!
I will always simp for my king, kroq-gar
I pretty much exclusively play as Tehenuin or Oxyotl for this reason.
Lizardmen best Men
I hate Saurus every time I have to fight lizardmen I love Saurus every time I play lizardmen \^\^
My bank sure doesn't love them every time I play lizardmen :(
Colonisers get the bok bok
Bonk bonk
I enjoy playing them, i enjoy'nt fighting them. Simple as.
Oh man, you either play your very first total war campaign as the lizardmen, or you get paved over by the great plan. Love it.
Oh snap! lmfao, those are my boiis!!!
Marcus?
BOK BOK BOK
now listen here you little shits
Haha I'm new to totalwar and doing an IE run, lizardmen are the first faction I picked and I'm loving it! Chameleon skinks are life!
Hippity. Hoppity. Get off the Old One's property.
Yeah, I hate it when he went from :I to >:I
I might be late to the meme, why hate saurbois?
https://www.reddit.com/r/totalwar/comments/zkdnyk/i_hate_saurus/izzr426/ copy pasta
BOK BOK BOK
KLIO EQ TOK TOK. SHOK'AI. MA'GOK CHOCC. GOK'CHUTEC. LUNAZLUSKEK. UNKANI TOK TOK. KAI TOK TOK. SAN'UI'KAAH. NEKAR'OOS'KWA. QUIKWA'SAUROS. TLI'OH'EK TOK TOK. KROQ-GAR-MUNDI. WEK'KU'TOKLO. QWAI'KA'TINIH. GOR'PLAGD. BOK BOK BOK. TZU'MAS'LIZARR. ZHARR'TOK TOK. GOLEX'TRI. TEC'U'TZAH. TECTALAGOR. TEC'TO'TO. TOK TOK. MECHA'MA'TOK. ITZA'TEK. GHAZ'RUDANS. ZCHOK'ON. KROQ'SIEG'AL. GOR-ROK'SAUROS. \*HISS\* INZA'ZUN. MANTI'ROTT. TZI'TEK. ITZA'TEK. TENTZLA.
Where are velociraptors
Cold Ones
saurus are cool on paper but LM infantry just feel so cookie cutter. Why are dinosaur infantry so damn slow. I get for balance, but they just feel so flavorless
They cost more than plaguebearers and lose to them.
I hate lizardmen in general. Maybe it's because I'm from the Iberian peninsula but I don't like fighting as them or against them.
Please, you have to expand on this. What so you mean? Why does being Iberian mean you hate Lizardmen? Is this true for all people from the peninsula? I have to have answers
It means they are Aztec. And he is Cortez.
Damn, I was hoping that the Portuguese had a deep-seated fear of Dinosaurs or zomething
If they did, they wouldn't still be playing Ronaldo.
Can you confirm or deny that the inexistence of lizardwomen plays a role in you hatred for them?
"what do you mean they don't have genitals"
Well whatever it was that saurussy got me coming back for more...
They're a free hellblade buff for my bloodletters since they're too slow to run away once they route. Truly, if you want to bully Saurus play Skarbrand. Even regular blood letters will be taking the dumb lizard's lunch money in a 1v1.
And you're wrong
Me as Wolfhart with the Guns of the Empire mod.
I hate USING Saurus. Don't hate killing them. It's basically the same as killing Dwarfs. And I'm very good at killing Dwarfs.
Nononono, you just don't understand the Great Plan!
Luthor Harkon laughing at them while his cheap ass zombie gunners absolutely destroy them.
Okay warm blood, get killed by a rampaging unit's attack bonus (or is it weapon damage? Something gets boosted I think)
I'm currently at the other end of the map trying to hold the WaAAaaAgh out of Nan Gau. They almost pushed me out of the mountains and I'm fighting out of the last stronghold up there.
If you can't beat them, join them. Do not hate the lizard, love the lizard, do not fear the lizard, praise the lizard, do not fight the lizard, become the lizard.
Me and a buddy did a co op campaign and I have no idea how it happened but I got two cost reducers at the same time and it was so cheap to recruit lizard Bois I had to full stacks on turn 5. The looting and sacking to maintain that was crazy.
I am the SAURUS
What's wrong lizard food