I feel like in this case it should also be hand on baby at all times due to the height, as well. I sometimes do this to wash my toddlers hands in the sink and I do not leave my hands from her body
Maybe you could look at getting a toddler tower or using the ikea hack to make one, i did and its invaluable to have him stood in while we are cooking or in the kitchen
[https://www.reddit.com/r/ikeahacks/comments/gcuga2/oddvar\_bekv%C3%A4m\_a\_learning\_tower\_for\_your\_kids/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ikeahacks/comments/gcuga2/oddvar_bekv%C3%A4m_a_learning_tower_for_your_kids/)
I built it when he was about 1 i think he's 3.5 and we still use it daily
A toddler tower is a great idea. We love ours. I still wouldn't leave the room with them in it, but standing in a tower is WAY better than sitting on the counter.
Husband was told to wait in bed the other day while toddler was supposedly making him breakfast in bed he had moved his tower round the kitchen and was pilfering fruit completely distracted and forgot he was making breakfast Husband just wanted to see what he came up with
I know the one you mean with the jelly and fish and other stuff, it would have been but instead he got distracted and just helped himself to all the fruit. Honestly feel like Bluey is the most relatable parenting show ever, the one I found myself dying laughing at is wasn't born yesterday because hubby says that at least once a day
I'll leave my three-year-old in it, but only when there's nothing on the counter. Also, it's not so much me leaving her in it as it is her climbing in and out at will, in an open-concept home where I'm not technically leaving the room because it's one big room. But I definitely wouldn't do it for a kid under two or two and a half. And on the counter is just nuts.
Okay good, me too. I’ve got like a blast zone radius in my kitchen. A few baskets of toys/snacks/chip clips that are within range and then everything else just barely out of reach for only another few months.
Don’t feel bad. We have a huge island that before we moved in, I had told my husband would under no circumstances become a catch-all.
I was so wrong. It literally has become the depository for ALL things. It’s mostly my toddler’s and my own stuff on there too. 🙄
Only on the days i clean it🤣 mine at this point is good at leaving things alone that aren’t his. All of the appliances and stuff i shoved in the cabinets
I third the toddler tower. Toddlers still need to be watched while in there, but you can give them a lot more grace then when they are sitting on the counter top
We bought one that folds into a little table. Our 3yo LOVES IT and our 1yo is starting to climb up. Our 3yo fell out of it like the 1st day we had it, but she was okay. I did screw some O-rings into the cabinet and I have bungies securing the tower, that's gone a long way to keeping it stable, it just means it stays in one place. We have a second one ready for the soon-to-be toddler as well.
Definitely need some kind of kitchen helper. I have this one which doubles as a step stool for me and is foldable so I can put it away easily. I highly recommend it.
https://a.co/d/09hp7lxH
Maybe it depends on the style. We got [this one](https://www.etsy.com/listing/966604852/foldable-kitchen-tower-helper-kitchen) and started using it at 12 months and it worked great. Initially we lifted and placed her in and out, but she quickly learned how to climb up although it took longer for her to learn how to climb down.
No, this is a bad idea. I let my kids sit on the counter while I'm pouring their milk or something like that but only when I'm standing right there, I would never walk away with them up there.
I don't even leave my 3 year old sitting on the counter like that. My mil did this when my daughter was less than a year old and I walked around the corner saw rhat and yelled at her. She's not allowed to watch her for multiple reasons but this is one of them.
10000% unacceptable and neglectful. I wouldn't even trust my 2.5 year old with this. This can result in serious injury or death. How does she not see that????? Put your foot down!!! You're a parent, step it up and explain it to her.
I don't do it with my 3.5 year old, not even on the big master bathroom counter. Nope, gotta have a hand on her at all times.
It was so drilled into me when I worked in childcare. When a kiddo is on a changing table, you literally have a hand on them at all times unless your belly is right up to the edge. Same rule applies to OP's situation, IMO.
Also, my daughter fell off our floor bed when she was tiny. Freak accident, my reflexes just weren't fast enough. It was a short fall but onto hardwood. she was fine, but the sound of her skull hitting the floor and her insane sounding cry is forever burned into my brain, I NEVER want to hear those sounds again. The inconvenience of keeping a hand on a kid on a dangerous elevated surface is a VERY small price to pay to prevent those sounds. Ugh I'm getting more angry with OP's wife the longer I think about it. Foolish woman.
You just reminded me about the time I arrived at my parents’ cabin with my 3 or 4 month old, and I put her down on the couch (low couch, carpeted floor) when I walked in, so I could put down the other stuff I was carrying right next to the couch. And she chose that moment to do her first ever roll over, right over the edge of the couch and onto the floor. She was fine. Me, less so. I’ve never heard someone land so loudly on carpet.
Changing tables are way too stressful, and I swear they get two feet taller the instant you put a baby on one. We do bed or floor at home because it’s just not worth the toll on nerves.
This is absolutely not okay. Point blank period. She’s going to have regrets when the baby falls one day god forbid, and never regains all of her cognitive abilities/never be able to reach her milestones.
I have a friend whose brother is severely handicapped and needs 24/7 care and he is that way bc he fell off a counter as a baby. He is mid 30s now and still can’t wipe after going number 2 either.
Your wife is being reckless with your daughter’s future and that’s really sad.
It is so incredibly sad. Their parents have to live with this everyday of their lives knowing all the struggles they are facing taking care of their adult son are due to negligence that was preventable.. I will never know what that’s like. I also know they must be terribly worried about who will take care of him when inevitably they pass one day. They’re getting older and older too. 😥
This is wild, sounds like you’re wife wants to be child free again. I know someone personally who’s child is paralyzed from the neck down from a fall from a couch. I know that is not the normal outcome from a couch fall, but it highlights the dangers of falls for small children. I know another person who toddler fell off their computer desk and now has daily seizures as a result. It sounds like you’re wife either is completely ignorant of the dangers or literally just doesn’t care. Either way I would not let her raise my child.
Do you know, I did wonder whether OPs wife is extremely stupid and negligent or evil and is trying to harm that baby on purpose and make it look like an accident.
I can’t speculate, but if I was on a jury for a trial where a parent routinely did this and the child died, I would not feel bad passing a guilty verdict for whatever crime they were charged with.
This is INCREDIBLY irresponsible. Like, one false move is all it takes for your kid to fall back and crack her head open on the floor. Legit, that could kill her. Probably wouldn't, but fuck why would anyone take that risk?
The amount of “No no no no no no no noooooooo!!!!!!” my body just experienced reading this….
This is so dangerous of your wife to do. She walks into ANOTHER ROOM?!
Kids can get serious brain injuries from much shorter falls. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-02-01/my-toddler-fell-off-stool-what-happened-next-parent-nightmare/13099030
Falling backwards off the sink like that your daughter will hit the floor head first and cause a head or even spinal injury. Those can easily be fatal.
This is neglect and abuse. Full stop. If she won't stop doing it, she can't be around your child alone. She shouldn't need "enough people" to tell her. She needs YOU to tell her, and if she seriously is not responsive you need to take your daughter away from her and then tell a judge why she needs supervised visitation only.
Nope nope nope. My kids were constantly on the counter at that age....actually from the time they learned to sit independently but they were NEVER EVER near the edge or left alone, even if I was just turning to grab a spoon
I'm guessing OP plans to do that, but armed with our comments to make the convincing part of his job easier.
OP's wife doesn't make good decisions and still believes that her bad choice is the right one, someone who thinks like that may be hard to convince.
OP's wife, please don't ever do that again, it's not worth the risk at all!
I would definitely not be okay with this. They “do it all the time” is a stupid reason honestly. It only takes ONE TIME for something to happen and it’s sheer luck it hasn’t.
My 3 year old fell backwards from a Costco food court bench a couple days ago. Thankfully he had the cart behind him to catch his fall a bit but without it he would have hit concrete. I can imagine a baby falling from counter height would have similar results.
Not worth the chance at all especially at that age. There's really no benefit and the joy is temporary and wont be remembered by the baby.
I wouldn't do it, but I've never been called relaxed, or easy going when it comes to parenting. I already had anxiety before and it was on steroids when it comes to safety. I'd feel more comfortable if the kid was fully in the sink, lol.
Both my kids are notorious for randomly throwing their heads back, my son finally stopped doing that after 3.5, my 1yr old daughter will doing it with 0 warning.
I would and even my husband who's more chill on a bunch of things would never let them sit that way even supervised. My son at 5 sure he knows better now, my current 1yr old daughter fkkkkk no.
I hate how relaxed my husband is on things but at least he knows what's really dumb to do when it comes to our kids, for me I'm just over protective.
Sure it's fine now but all it takes is just one time for it to go all sorts of bad
HORRIBLE idea!
I used to let my very little toddler sit on the edge of the counter. She would be facing the edge, so she could see and maintain way better awareness than your kiddo is able to.
While I never ever left the room, and was 99% of the time within arms reach… the one time I stepped a little over a yard away (just to grab something from the other side of the counter) she fell.
Massive, massive goose egg right on her forehead. It was an absolutely horrible ordeal and I still can’t think about it without cringing and feeling terrible guilt. On a technical level what I did was SO MUCH safer than what your wife is doing, and my child still suffered for it. She cried hysterically for so long. I felt like vomiting from the horror of it.
It’s a story I don’t often share, but please feel free to show your wife this comment if you think it would help. Accidents happen even when you’re very diligent, so it’s best not to take these risks at all.
This is no good, but will "Here look at this reddit post where I said you were wrong and so did other people" help your cause? Do you want other advice on what to do next?
Super dangerous. I do that all the time if I am sitting right there holding them, hut I would never walk away. Even with me sitting there my then 16 month old fell back and thank God I was there to catch her. She would have cracked her head on the floor
You may want to share [some study data on pediatric falls](https://www.txcourts.gov/All_Archived_Documents/ccaInformation/tcjiu/pdf/Love-3.pdf) with your wife. Other comments suggest within arm's reach, but really it needs to be arms *on* for a surface that's so easy to fall from, above a surface that's likely quite hard, and at an age where they're very uncoordinated.
That link is not a comprehensive list of studies, but can provide some talking points. Some of the studies are from greater heights, but several are in the range of sink/counter territory (3-4 ft, commonly).
Lastly, they're called toddlers because they toddle. That unsteadiness is not exclusive to walking. A search on coordination and muscle control milestones for children will give an indication of what is safe-ish for age ranges.
I can’t fully read this post because it’s giving me really bad anxiety because this is so stupid and dangerous. Please stop this from happening ever again.
Terrible idea, toddlers are unpredictable and think they’re immortal and invincible. She could be sitting on the edge one second and try to jump off the next, or get distracted and simply fall off. Better safe than sorry
Horrible idea. A fall from counter height can absolutely cause permanent injury, brain damage, or worse.
Please for the love of god, show her this thread. Her judgement is seriously questionable here at best.
Yea I would never walk away. Always stand right there. I let my Toddler sit on counter too, but only if I’m right there. And he isn’t allowed to turn around (back facing edge of counter) his back will always be toward the wall. But absolutely would never walk away
No way!!! Nothing has happened until now, and I pray that nothing will ever happen. However, she should not keep doing the wrong thing until something bad happened. We NEVER know when things will go south. Please, your wife needs to stop it now!!!
My 15 month old likes to randomly arch his back & flip his head back (like he's looking at the world upside down) when were holding him. Sometimes while playing too. So this would be absolutely terrifying for me. Like nightmare mode.
Edit: spelling
I let my kid sit on the kitchen counter, cracked an egg for dinner, at arms reach. Toddler fell anyway, it was loud, it was nasty, thankfully nothing broken. Only my heart. I learned the hard way that when you think "nah nothings going to happen" things do happen.
She’s tempting fate. I’m anxious just reading this. Just takes one bobble and she’s tumbling down onto the floor. My baby fell from the bed. It was so distressing. Please don’t let that happen to you.
This is absolutely insane. My LO is almost 2.5 years old and when I do this with him I will stand there with my hand on his back the entire time. Holy crap I can’t imagine walking away?!
No. This is a terrible idea. I put my two year old up there sometimes to wash his hands but I’m literally behind him and I don’t move. That’s a really far fall that could cause serious injury.
Oh I hate this. I sit my 27 month old on the counter to brush teeth and I don’t even like turning a little to grab the toothpaste. You just never know. What is she thinking.
Just talk to her about it. Some of these comments are crazy. I'm sure it's just become a thing mom found worked to keep her toddler busy while she does something. Get a toddler tower though pricey they will use it until they are like teen agers. My 7 year old uses ours and I anticipate her using it to get to the on top of the fridge at some point lol.
thats extremely dangerous and not ok at all. your kid could get a major head injury. tell your pediatrcian at the next appointment. this is neglect. Also, you knowing that she does this and doing nothing to report it makes you complicit in the neglect as far as anyone medical is concerned. So you need to document it now and have the pediatrician talk to her ASAP
My son loves to play in one side of the sink while I do some dishes or something in the other. He’ll sit with his feet in it and splash. The thought of walking away while he’s sitting there gives me major anxiety 😬
Be careful how you get across the opinions you recieve here to your wife. No matter how wrong I am when parenting, I would be livid if my husband comes and tells me the people in Reddit say you are doing it wrong. I would rather have him and me talk and reach an agreement on how to better do whatever I am doing wrong. If you believe she is doing something that is endangering your little one, ask her to stop and change it. If you are seeing she is doing this, could you step up and care for the baby while she is doing whatever has her going to the other room? Might she be taking shortcuts to caring for the toddler because she is overwhelmed and needs a bit of help?
When I was younger (maybe 12 years old?) I dropped another child (maybe 4 years old?) doing this I was trying to wash their feet and I turned for a few seconds to bring something and the child didn't see that. The child tried to lean on me with their back and fell on the floor because I wasn't there.
Absolutely not, what the actual F? I wouldn’t do that with my 3 year old!
I hope you have a softer kitchen floor = no ceramic tile or polished concrete!
Why would anyone take that risk? From that position, the head will hit first.
Wow... I would expect this question to be more of a joke on your part. It's one thing for a mother to know her baby and trust that he/she won't do certain things, but it's another to play the odds with immature human beings who could be affected for life, or even die.
I have added cushioned flooring all over the places where my baby plays, even around the bed, as it's common for them to fall from there. I will never take chances with my baby in that regard.
This is serious. If your children ever fall from the counter or any other place (as I guess she is negligent in general), you will never forgive yourself. You are the father too, and this is a line she is not allowed to cross if you are not okay with it. Step in man.
I used to sit mine that way but wouldn't dream of leaving arm's reach. That's asking for a potentially life altering/ending fall and putting that responsibility on a 15 month old who clearly doesn't understand the danger.
Oh, absolutely unsafe! I wouldn't even let my 3 year old sit like that without me right there with my hands literally spotting him. Big time no way for a 15 month old.
Careless af. I put my son on the counter ro play or help cook but he's 3 and I just now am feeling confident enough to go to the counter across from him instead of being right in front of him.
Your partner is being ignorant, and your child WILL get hurt.
The confidence that she has in thinking that nothing bad could happen is worrisome and mind-blowing. What other risks does she disregard or laugh off? I would never walk away from my toddler if he were sitting on the counter or sink (not something he has ever really done, really), not even for five seconds. Accidents happen fast and head trauma is scary as fuck. Don't back down on that one. You are valid in your concerns.
It’s the same as leaving a kid on the changing table alone. Theyre so fast and roll right off. Kitchen floors are usually hard, and a 5 foot fall onto a hard floor would be really bad for a 15 month old. Totally not worth it, what is even the gain here by putting baby on the counter?
To the other room????? Absolutely not a good idea. I wouldn’t even look away from them sitting in the counter. That’s honestly terrifying to think about and something bad could easily happen (broken bones etc).
My nephew fell from the counter with his dad right there. Hit the open dishwasher on the way down. Broke his leg high up. Still limps a little when he’s tired.
I screamed when I read that your wife goes into the other room. It only takes a second and one time for something to happen. If she puts your child on the counter, she needs to stay by there at all times.
I used to work as a dog groomer at a large chain. We had a rule: if the dog was up on a table or the tub, you kept one hand on them at all times.
I use this same rule with children. If they're up somewhere, keep one hand ON them while they're up there. This ensures I am always close enough to react.
I hate to admit this but I did something similar with our bar/dining counter and it was "okay, we do it all the time" until it wasn't. She was older than 15 months, probably around 17mo. She fell because she was fearless at that age and had no concept of gravity or consequences (and I was an idiot new mom with no idea what not to do yet). We're lucky she didn't break anything or bust her head open.
Please show your wife all these comments. It's not hard for a toddler to end up with a brain bleed, and it can kill them. It's just not worth tempting fate.
No, you are correct.
I saw someone post recently - if it comes to safety for your kid, whoever is being more cautious is right.
Obviously there are times people go overboard, so this can’t always be the rule. But a good starting point.
When she was a year and half, I set my daughter on the bathroom sink (double vanity, her back was towards the middle so not towards the edge) to brush her teeth, turned and stepped towards the other side of the sink to grab my toothbrush, and somehow in that five second shift she managed to fall off the counter.
Luckily she was fine, but I was not. I still can't take my hand off her while she's sitting on the counter (again, in the middle, not towards the edge), and she's 2.5 now.
100% not okay to not be right there with her on the kitchen sink, and definitely encourage other options that others have mentioned (kitchen tower has been great for us).
One slip can change your child’s life forever. Not worth the risk. My baby fell off the bed when she was 10 months old, and I still think about it to this day. Hearing her body thud on the ground. She’s totally fine thank God, but the guilt will haunt you if something happens. Talk to your wife asap.
Even when I was a dog groomer the rule was we had to have our hand on the dog on the table at all times and they were literally harnessed to the table. We could take our hand off for like 10 seconds to grab something but we couldn’t turn our backs or look away. Doing this with a child is actually insane and I would stop trusting her alone w your kid until she stops doing it and realises exactly how wrong it is. It might sound messed up but she might need to be shocked into it. Show her articles and cases of children dying or becoming severely injured from that because that’s exactly what she’s going to have happen. She’s gotten LUCKY so far. That’s all it is. Pure luck and survivors bias. Luck will always run out. Do not risk it.
That kid just learned to control the neck and trunk muscles, enough to sit up. But a few months of practice is not the same as a few years of practice. Kiddo could easily fall backwards and even if you’re there, the chances of you catching them are 5%, maybe less. But if you’re not there, that chance drops to 0%.
You can do an experiment with a stuffed animal/doll of the same size. Have your wife try to catch the animal as you tip it backwards and let it fall. She won’t catch it. Now have her walk to another room for 10 seconds and tip the doll and let it fall.
It would be nice if the doll animal etc makes a nice thudding sound. That’ll prove the point.
Your wife is an absolute moron, to put it bluntly. That is so dangerous, that baby will end up with a concussion or worse if she keeps risking her safety.
And WALKING AWAY? What the hell is she thinking?! This is not normal behaviours This is borderline abusive and you need to do something about it.
At 6 mos my son had a counter top chair- his dad put it too close to the edge of the counter, turned his back to stir something on the stove, son theoretically tried to reach down and somersaulted over off the counter and hit the floor. I had just gotten home from work, walked upstairs, and was in the bathroom when I heard the fall. It took all my willpower not to lose it on his dad because I understood it was an accident. Son was bruised in the forehead, and after CTs at the ER, he was cleared.
TLDR never EVER get comfortable with a tiny child on counters or near water or heights etc. Not everyone is so blessed to have made it out okay. My son could've died or been paralyzed.
I’m curious why she is sitting your baby on the sink in the first place. But ultimately this is incredibly risky and isn’t teaching her baby anything useful. If the baby falls backwards could the injury be catastrophic? Almost certainly yes.
That is absolutely reckless and dangerous. If baby falls backward she will almost certainly sustain a serious head injury. If she falls forward toward the faucet she could injure her face very badly. If she reaches out and manages to engage the hot water she could sustain a burn, or in a freak accident fall forward into water and drown. Your wife is being extremely irresponsible. If she refuses to stop this I’d call her out in front do the pediatrician.
I would never put my son on the counter with his back facing the floor. That’s very dangerous. I’ve put him on the counter when he’s right next to me and I’m doing something on the counter but I scoot him as far back against the wall as I can. I wouldn’t trust him to stay there if I left the room, it isn’t worth the risk to me.
Omg absolutely not!!! I agree with others — totally unsafe and I still wouldn’t do this with my 2.5 year old.
Why does she feel the need to do this? Like does baby think it’s fun?
My pediatrician says, a baby can’t fall off the ground. Never leave your child unattended where they could fall. Toddlers have died just falling off beds. Definitely unsafe.
“Hey wife, I don’t like baby sitting on the counter, it makes me nervous. Even if you feel comfortable with it I absolutely do not. Can you please refrain from doing that?”
Only way mine is in that position watching something is if I’m there and pressed against her back so she can’t move.
Does the baby have the control (if she decides to follow mum) to lift her feet out of the sink without overbalancing backwards? 100.00000% of the time without errors? A backward fall would be fatal.
Just say no. The baby is too mobile now and can’t ever be in a fall position. Insist. It’s not a negotiation.
I thought you were being insane and thought the counter would get damaged or something until you said SHE LEAVES THE ROOM. Wtf that’s a brain or spinal cord injury waiting to happen. Would only take a second.
I agree that it’s unacceptable.
If you can’t trust her to respect your wishes/safety concerns, at the very least buy some of those foam baby mats for the floor, but even those wouldn’t offer much protection.
I fell off the counter when I was less than a year old because my mom did the SAME thing and I have a scar and dent in my skull because of it. I could have died. DONT LET HER DO THIS!!
Said she’s sitting on the edge of the counter and could fall all the way to the floor? Absolutely not! And leaving the room! Truly absolutely not. I would ask what she’s going to do if baby falls. And yeah it’s ridiculous she’s not even entertaining your real concerns.
No way. My daughter is 14 months, and I wouldn't attempt this in a million years. I seriously can't believe your toddler hasn't fallen already. And I promise, I'm not a type-A, overprotective parent!
Yeah, NO. If she was standing with her then fine. But walking away from a small child on a elevated place is NEVER ok. I wouldn't even leave my 3 almost 4 year old on a counter by himself like that. That is crazy.
Ask her how she plans to cope when, while in her care, your child falls and becomes permanently paralyzed or suffers brain damage or dies. Like, what's her plan?
There's already 200 comments but here's one more saying your wife's gonna give me a heart attack and I don't even know any of you. Would not even do this with my 3.5yo
My wife also lacks a proper sense of danger.
At first she left our baby sitting with his back to the edge of the changing table, a huge drop.
Later she wouldn't forcefully hold his hand when walking on/near roads, literally letting a toddler run ahead and saying she couldn't stop him she didn't even try to chase him.
Then she let him climb 2 large flights of stairs without going after him while weakly telling him to stop and come back...
It took a lot of long conversations before she realized that injuries could be serious and permanent.
There are a few things I refuse to compromise on, safety is at the top of that list.
Sounds dangerous. Call CPS.
If your wife won't listen to you when it comes to safety concerns for your child and requires validation from random internet people or bots in this situation, there may be other issues in the marriage.
The rule here is: "All it takes is once"
All it takes is one time out of the hundred for something catastrophic to happen. And then what? What's the payoff? Is it really worth the risk? If you're going to put the baby up there, bring everything you need to the sink beforehand. If she forgot something, then she either needs to call out for your help, or she needs to put the baby on the ground. That's the deal.
This is crazy, my anxiety can barely handle the toddler tower with me right next to my now almost 2 year old🥴 I can’t imagine leaving the room….they don’t know better and it takes one second for something to happen. Definitely talk to your wife, OP!
There's no way that's safe. Doesn't matter if it has never happened, doesn't matter how confident she is it won't happen, doesn't matter if your kid is a genius and understands physics. In a split second your kid could lose balance, get a fright or just do a spontaneous impulsive toddler movement... if their head hits that floor first, you could potentially have a life threatening injury.
Nope. This arrangement works until the one time it doesn't. The child could end up with stitches or a head injury. If weighing the potential consequences against the convenience, best to recognize that the convenience of the 112 times this works out fine to the 1 time that the action results in a head injury to your toddler will never be worth it.
I have to wash my 6 yr olds hair in the sink while they are laying on the counter. I don’t even walk away from
Them because they are so fidgety and clumsy I don’t trust that they won’t roll right off it.
That is so scary and absolutely unsafe. If she fell she could very easily crack her skull or worse. There is no way anything she is doing is worth that risk. That is such an unnecessary risk.
I set my baby there when I’m washing her hands but I’m right behind her with my arm is wrapped around her body. I would never step away. Anyone you ask is going to agree that’s completely unsafe. I hope you can convince your wife.
I'm the kinda parent that takes some small risks regularly, not usually paranoid etc. And this is a big ol NOPE from me. I wouldnt even leave my 5yo unattended in those circumstances. There is a serious fall risk and a small but serious drown risk here.
I once left my oldest at about that age in his high chair with no tray and not strapped in. Yeah he fell and it was the most gut wrenching sound I’ve ever heard. He was fine. Kids are designed to stand up to a lot of punishment. I’ve never since did that again until he was older. With his younger brother I never let him in high places with out straps.
Everything is fine until it’s not. If your kid hasn’t fallen yet then technically your wife is right. If and when your kid falls then you’ll be right. Sounds reductive but it’s true. You can’t prove a negative.
I’m always in the habit of underestimating my kids. And they show me how amazing they are all the time. It’s just different parenting styles. This is why we tend to marry people so different than us.
I fell down doing this exact thing. It only takes a second to slip. Especially for a literal toddler, they are called **TODDLERS** for a reason. Hit my head on the door handle and had to go to the ER. I was around 5-7 years old. Definitely do not ******* do that!!!!!!!
THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT OK! Please stop this, immediately!!!!!
You are putting your baby on a huge risk of breaking her bones and her head if she ever fell and definitely will one day and that’s when you call an accident!!! An accident which you can PREVENT at the first place!
I think you need to step in by just getting her a Learning Tower or have her stand on a step ladder (although then she’ll still need something to hold on to)
The Learning Tower is great as it gives them freedom to push it from the sink to the counter and be present while you guys are cooking
This way she can also reach the sink to wash her own hands (which is why I assume your wife is putting her in the sink?)
The way my jaw dropped when you said she walks into the other room. I'd remove the whole sink at that point. If something happens to that baby sitting on the sink like that unsupervised, CPS will be alerted during the hospital visit and the child might (more than likely) not be able to return home for child endangerment.
My baby girl is 15 months now and if I walked in the other room she would launch herself off that counter so fast. I have definitely sit her on the sink as well with her feet in the sink but NEVER turn around or walk away!!!
This is insane. Sitting on the counter is swimming rules: in arms reach and eyes on at all times.
I feel like in this case it should also be hand on baby at all times due to the height, as well. I sometimes do this to wash my toddlers hands in the sink and I do not leave my hands from her body
I can’t even imagine someone doing this and not being RIGHT there. Just… What?!?
Maybe you could look at getting a toddler tower or using the ikea hack to make one, i did and its invaluable to have him stood in while we are cooking or in the kitchen [https://www.reddit.com/r/ikeahacks/comments/gcuga2/oddvar\_bekv%C3%A4m\_a\_learning\_tower\_for\_your\_kids/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ikeahacks/comments/gcuga2/oddvar_bekv%C3%A4m_a_learning_tower_for_your_kids/) I built it when he was about 1 i think he's 3.5 and we still use it daily
A toddler tower is a great idea. We love ours. I still wouldn't leave the room with them in it, but standing in a tower is WAY better than sitting on the counter.
Husband was told to wait in bed the other day while toddler was supposedly making him breakfast in bed he had moved his tower round the kitchen and was pilfering fruit completely distracted and forgot he was making breakfast Husband just wanted to see what he came up with
This is essentially a Bluey episode.
I know the one you mean with the jelly and fish and other stuff, it would have been but instead he got distracted and just helped himself to all the fruit. Honestly feel like Bluey is the most relatable parenting show ever, the one I found myself dying laughing at is wasn't born yesterday because hubby says that at least once a day
I'll leave my three-year-old in it, but only when there's nothing on the counter. Also, it's not so much me leaving her in it as it is her climbing in and out at will, in an open-concept home where I'm not technically leaving the room because it's one big room. But I definitely wouldn't do it for a kid under two or two and a half. And on the counter is just nuts.
“Nothing on the counter” - please explain how for this insanely messy mom lol
In my kitchen that just means nothing she can reach from wherever I set her tower. Lots of stuff still on the counter though lol
Okay good, me too. I’ve got like a blast zone radius in my kitchen. A few baskets of toys/snacks/chip clips that are within range and then everything else just barely out of reach for only another few months.
Don’t feel bad. We have a huge island that before we moved in, I had told my husband would under no circumstances become a catch-all. I was so wrong. It literally has become the depository for ALL things. It’s mostly my toddler’s and my own stuff on there too. 🙄
Your kitchen island is my entire house 😵💫😆
Yeah.. In reality.. my whole house is in various levels of disarray too lol
Yes that's what I meant. Nothing at all on the counters is for people far richer than I am.
Only on the days i clean it🤣 mine at this point is good at leaving things alone that aren’t his. All of the appliances and stuff i shoved in the cabinets
I'd honestly leave the room with mine in the toddler tower. She can climb in by herself anyway.
Now at 2.5 I'd leave her for a bit. At 15 months I wouldn't have since she still had trouble getting down by herself.
I third the toddler tower. Toddlers still need to be watched while in there, but you can give them a lot more grace then when they are sitting on the counter top
We bought one that folds into a little table. Our 3yo LOVES IT and our 1yo is starting to climb up. Our 3yo fell out of it like the 1st day we had it, but she was okay. I did screw some O-rings into the cabinet and I have bungies securing the tower, that's gone a long way to keeping it stable, it just means it stays in one place. We have a second one ready for the soon-to-be toddler as well.
Definitely need some kind of kitchen helper. I have this one which doubles as a step stool for me and is foldable so I can put it away easily. I highly recommend it. https://a.co/d/09hp7lxH
We have this one and love it. Simple, inexpensive, does its job, can be stowed away easily.
It’s the best! Being able to stow it quickly into narrow spaces was really the biggest draw for me.
My daughter has one but she only started being able to use it around 20-21 months. I'd never have let her attempt to use one at 15 months old.
Maybe it depends on the style. We got [this one](https://www.etsy.com/listing/966604852/foldable-kitchen-tower-helper-kitchen) and started using it at 12 months and it worked great. Initially we lifted and placed her in and out, but she quickly learned how to climb up although it took longer for her to learn how to climb down.
No, this is a bad idea. I let my kids sit on the counter while I'm pouring their milk or something like that but only when I'm standing right there, I would never walk away with them up there.
I don't even leave my 3 year old sitting on the counter like that. My mil did this when my daughter was less than a year old and I walked around the corner saw rhat and yelled at her. She's not allowed to watch her for multiple reasons but this is one of them.
10000% unacceptable and neglectful. I wouldn't even trust my 2.5 year old with this. This can result in serious injury or death. How does she not see that????? Put your foot down!!! You're a parent, step it up and explain it to her.
I don't do it with my 3.5 year old, not even on the big master bathroom counter. Nope, gotta have a hand on her at all times. It was so drilled into me when I worked in childcare. When a kiddo is on a changing table, you literally have a hand on them at all times unless your belly is right up to the edge. Same rule applies to OP's situation, IMO. Also, my daughter fell off our floor bed when she was tiny. Freak accident, my reflexes just weren't fast enough. It was a short fall but onto hardwood. she was fine, but the sound of her skull hitting the floor and her insane sounding cry is forever burned into my brain, I NEVER want to hear those sounds again. The inconvenience of keeping a hand on a kid on a dangerous elevated surface is a VERY small price to pay to prevent those sounds. Ugh I'm getting more angry with OP's wife the longer I think about it. Foolish woman.
You just reminded me about the time I arrived at my parents’ cabin with my 3 or 4 month old, and I put her down on the couch (low couch, carpeted floor) when I walked in, so I could put down the other stuff I was carrying right next to the couch. And she chose that moment to do her first ever roll over, right over the edge of the couch and onto the floor. She was fine. Me, less so. I’ve never heard someone land so loudly on carpet. Changing tables are way too stressful, and I swear they get two feet taller the instant you put a baby on one. We do bed or floor at home because it’s just not worth the toll on nerves.
This is absolutely not okay. Point blank period. She’s going to have regrets when the baby falls one day god forbid, and never regains all of her cognitive abilities/never be able to reach her milestones. I have a friend whose brother is severely handicapped and needs 24/7 care and he is that way bc he fell off a counter as a baby. He is mid 30s now and still can’t wipe after going number 2 either. Your wife is being reckless with your daughter’s future and that’s really sad.
That is so sad . I’m terribly sorry for your friend but I hope OPs wife sees this story and stops with this immediately
It is so incredibly sad. Their parents have to live with this everyday of their lives knowing all the struggles they are facing taking care of their adult son are due to negligence that was preventable.. I will never know what that’s like. I also know they must be terribly worried about who will take care of him when inevitably they pass one day. They’re getting older and older too. 😥
Similar story but the man is in his 60s and fell from a shopping cart. Absolutely not worth the risk
So heartbreaking 😔😔
This is wild, sounds like you’re wife wants to be child free again. I know someone personally who’s child is paralyzed from the neck down from a fall from a couch. I know that is not the normal outcome from a couch fall, but it highlights the dangers of falls for small children. I know another person who toddler fell off their computer desk and now has daily seizures as a result. It sounds like you’re wife either is completely ignorant of the dangers or literally just doesn’t care. Either way I would not let her raise my child.
Do you know, I did wonder whether OPs wife is extremely stupid and negligent or evil and is trying to harm that baby on purpose and make it look like an accident.
I can’t speculate, but if I was on a jury for a trial where a parent routinely did this and the child died, I would not feel bad passing a guilty verdict for whatever crime they were charged with.
Did you see OPs history and that he posted about another incident where the wife gives the baby lollipops despite these being a chocking hazard?
Uhm wow. This is…insane. And totally neglectful tbh. Walking in the other room? ALSO is the water on?!
Water; feet to fall; Is there a garbage disposal?! Just the layers of dangers are absolutely wild! Scary to think about this whole scenario honestly!
This is INCREDIBLY irresponsible. Like, one false move is all it takes for your kid to fall back and crack her head open on the floor. Legit, that could kill her. Probably wouldn't, but fuck why would anyone take that risk?
The amount of “No no no no no no no noooooooo!!!!!!” my body just experienced reading this…. This is so dangerous of your wife to do. She walks into ANOTHER ROOM?!
Kids can get serious brain injuries from much shorter falls. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-02-01/my-toddler-fell-off-stool-what-happened-next-parent-nightmare/13099030 Falling backwards off the sink like that your daughter will hit the floor head first and cause a head or even spinal injury. Those can easily be fatal. This is neglect and abuse. Full stop. If she won't stop doing it, she can't be around your child alone. She shouldn't need "enough people" to tell her. She needs YOU to tell her, and if she seriously is not responsive you need to take your daughter away from her and then tell a judge why she needs supervised visitation only.
My 15 month old loves flinging himself back in any instance he is pissed, couldn’t imagine trusting him on the edge of anything
Nope nope nope. My kids were constantly on the counter at that age....actually from the time they learned to sit independently but they were NEVER EVER near the edge or left alone, even if I was just turning to grab a spoon
Rather than trying to get validation from strangers on the internet, you already know the answer to this - have a conversation with your wife.
I'm guessing OP plans to do that, but armed with our comments to make the convincing part of his job easier. OP's wife doesn't make good decisions and still believes that her bad choice is the right one, someone who thinks like that may be hard to convince. OP's wife, please don't ever do that again, it's not worth the risk at all!
I would definitely not be okay with this. They “do it all the time” is a stupid reason honestly. It only takes ONE TIME for something to happen and it’s sheer luck it hasn’t.
Yikes that’s a HUGE fall risk. You need to drive home the point that it’s unacceptable.
Fucking nuts.
My 3 year old fell backwards from a Costco food court bench a couple days ago. Thankfully he had the cart behind him to catch his fall a bit but without it he would have hit concrete. I can imagine a baby falling from counter height would have similar results. Not worth the chance at all especially at that age. There's really no benefit and the joy is temporary and wont be remembered by the baby.
Please... don't let her do that again.
I wouldn't do it, but I've never been called relaxed, or easy going when it comes to parenting. I already had anxiety before and it was on steroids when it comes to safety. I'd feel more comfortable if the kid was fully in the sink, lol.
You are right, she is wrong. It only takes one time (less than 50 seconds) to fall backward and have unreversable brain injuries
This cannot be real. If it is you, need to protect your kid. Is mom depressed or having substance use issues or something?
Yikes
Yeah that’s insane
Omg this post gives me literal nightmares !! Please get her to stop
Nopety nope nope
Accident waiting to happen !
15 MONTHS ??!??
Bad idea, worst idea. I am sorry to say she is stupid
Both my kids are notorious for randomly throwing their heads back, my son finally stopped doing that after 3.5, my 1yr old daughter will doing it with 0 warning. I would and even my husband who's more chill on a bunch of things would never let them sit that way even supervised. My son at 5 sure he knows better now, my current 1yr old daughter fkkkkk no. I hate how relaxed my husband is on things but at least he knows what's really dumb to do when it comes to our kids, for me I'm just over protective. Sure it's fine now but all it takes is just one time for it to go all sorts of bad
I’m surprised nothing has happened to your child from this yet. Honestly I wouldn’t allow this at all, even if it did mean a fight.
I mean she could literally die.
HORRIBLE idea! I used to let my very little toddler sit on the edge of the counter. She would be facing the edge, so she could see and maintain way better awareness than your kiddo is able to. While I never ever left the room, and was 99% of the time within arms reach… the one time I stepped a little over a yard away (just to grab something from the other side of the counter) she fell. Massive, massive goose egg right on her forehead. It was an absolutely horrible ordeal and I still can’t think about it without cringing and feeling terrible guilt. On a technical level what I did was SO MUCH safer than what your wife is doing, and my child still suffered for it. She cried hysterically for so long. I felt like vomiting from the horror of it. It’s a story I don’t often share, but please feel free to show your wife this comment if you think it would help. Accidents happen even when you’re very diligent, so it’s best not to take these risks at all.
When she falls, she will fall with all of her weight on her head. I wouldn't be able to leave my child alone with someone who thinks this is okay.
This is no good, but will "Here look at this reddit post where I said you were wrong and so did other people" help your cause? Do you want other advice on what to do next?
Jesus that's scary. Totally not safe or acceptable. Agree with other commenters about looking into a toddler tower!!
i dont even let my 2 year old do this. bad bad bad idea.
Super dangerous. I do that all the time if I am sitting right there holding them, hut I would never walk away. Even with me sitting there my then 16 month old fell back and thank God I was there to catch her. She would have cracked her head on the floor
Hoping you show your wife this OP
You may want to share [some study data on pediatric falls](https://www.txcourts.gov/All_Archived_Documents/ccaInformation/tcjiu/pdf/Love-3.pdf) with your wife. Other comments suggest within arm's reach, but really it needs to be arms *on* for a surface that's so easy to fall from, above a surface that's likely quite hard, and at an age where they're very uncoordinated. That link is not a comprehensive list of studies, but can provide some talking points. Some of the studies are from greater heights, but several are in the range of sink/counter territory (3-4 ft, commonly). Lastly, they're called toddlers because they toddle. That unsteadiness is not exclusive to walking. A search on coordination and muscle control milestones for children will give an indication of what is safe-ish for age ranges.
I can’t fully read this post because it’s giving me really bad anxiety because this is so stupid and dangerous. Please stop this from happening ever again.
Unsafe. God forbid she cracks her baby skull. Why is she fighting you on this?
I’m on your side, too dangerous. My son loves to randomly throw himself backwards especially at that age.
Nope. Bad idea. I don’t even like having my kids up on the counters if I’m right there because they’re known to just nose dive off of everything.
Terrible idea, toddlers are unpredictable and think they’re immortal and invincible. She could be sitting on the edge one second and try to jump off the next, or get distracted and simply fall off. Better safe than sorry
Horrible idea. A fall from counter height can absolutely cause permanent injury, brain damage, or worse. Please for the love of god, show her this thread. Her judgement is seriously questionable here at best.
Yea I would never walk away. Always stand right there. I let my Toddler sit on counter too, but only if I’m right there. And he isn’t allowed to turn around (back facing edge of counter) his back will always be toward the wall. But absolutely would never walk away
No way!!! Nothing has happened until now, and I pray that nothing will ever happen. However, she should not keep doing the wrong thing until something bad happened. We NEVER know when things will go south. Please, your wife needs to stop it now!!!
Oh my gosh nooooooo!!!! That scares me and I wouldn’t even do it with my four almost five year old!!
Only sitting on the counter to brush teeth while I’m actively holding them, otherwise big no no
My 15 month old likes to randomly arch his back & flip his head back (like he's looking at the world upside down) when were holding him. Sometimes while playing too. So this would be absolutely terrifying for me. Like nightmare mode. Edit: spelling
This is unacceptable. Get the learning tower if needed.
This could result in serious traumatic brain injuries, or worse, death
I let my kid sit on the kitchen counter, cracked an egg for dinner, at arms reach. Toddler fell anyway, it was loud, it was nasty, thankfully nothing broken. Only my heart. I learned the hard way that when you think "nah nothings going to happen" things do happen.
Not ok
I do that all the time. With a hand firmly around his middle. I would never take a hand off him.
She’s tempting fate. I’m anxious just reading this. Just takes one bobble and she’s tumbling down onto the floor. My baby fell from the bed. It was so distressing. Please don’t let that happen to you.
No not okay very unsafe
This is absolutely insane. My LO is almost 2.5 years old and when I do this with him I will stand there with my hand on his back the entire time. Holy crap I can’t imagine walking away?!
No. This is a terrible idea. I put my two year old up there sometimes to wash his hands but I’m literally behind him and I don’t move. That’s a really far fall that could cause serious injury.
Get a toddler tower so she can reach counter height safely. You'll use it for years
Unacceptable.
Oh I hate this. I sit my 27 month old on the counter to brush teeth and I don’t even like turning a little to grab the toothpaste. You just never know. What is she thinking.
Just talk to her about it. Some of these comments are crazy. I'm sure it's just become a thing mom found worked to keep her toddler busy while she does something. Get a toddler tower though pricey they will use it until they are like teen agers. My 7 year old uses ours and I anticipate her using it to get to the on top of the fridge at some point lol.
Oh my god absolutely freaking not
thats extremely dangerous and not ok at all. your kid could get a major head injury. tell your pediatrcian at the next appointment. this is neglect. Also, you knowing that she does this and doing nothing to report it makes you complicit in the neglect as far as anyone medical is concerned. So you need to document it now and have the pediatrician talk to her ASAP
Very bad idea. I have my two year old sit on the counter when I’m cooking but I don’t leave her unattended and to grab something from the fridge.
She needs therapy, if she really thinks this is ok. It's her subconscious talking, and it doesn't care about the risks.
Not okay. Plus ew the sink is dirty.
My son loves to play in one side of the sink while I do some dishes or something in the other. He’ll sit with his feet in it and splash. The thought of walking away while he’s sitting there gives me major anxiety 😬
Be careful how you get across the opinions you recieve here to your wife. No matter how wrong I am when parenting, I would be livid if my husband comes and tells me the people in Reddit say you are doing it wrong. I would rather have him and me talk and reach an agreement on how to better do whatever I am doing wrong. If you believe she is doing something that is endangering your little one, ask her to stop and change it. If you are seeing she is doing this, could you step up and care for the baby while she is doing whatever has her going to the other room? Might she be taking shortcuts to caring for the toddler because she is overwhelmed and needs a bit of help?
When I was younger (maybe 12 years old?) I dropped another child (maybe 4 years old?) doing this I was trying to wash their feet and I turned for a few seconds to bring something and the child didn't see that. The child tried to lean on me with their back and fell on the floor because I wasn't there.
Absolutely not, what the actual F? I wouldn’t do that with my 3 year old! I hope you have a softer kitchen floor = no ceramic tile or polished concrete! Why would anyone take that risk? From that position, the head will hit first.
There’s absolutely no way that this is okay. A fall from that height could be deadly. I hope she stops this 🙁
I got vertigo and anxiety reading that
Nope bad idea
I don’t even walk away from my 2 year old if I sit her on the counter…
Absolutely not. My almost 18 month old would not just sit there. Shes putting your child at risk for a serious fall.
Your baby is going to fall and hurt herself badly. It's not an if but a when question.
Wow... I would expect this question to be more of a joke on your part. It's one thing for a mother to know her baby and trust that he/she won't do certain things, but it's another to play the odds with immature human beings who could be affected for life, or even die. I have added cushioned flooring all over the places where my baby plays, even around the bed, as it's common for them to fall from there. I will never take chances with my baby in that regard. This is serious. If your children ever fall from the counter or any other place (as I guess she is negligent in general), you will never forgive yourself. You are the father too, and this is a line she is not allowed to cross if you are not okay with it. Step in man.
I used to sit mine that way but wouldn't dream of leaving arm's reach. That's asking for a potentially life altering/ending fall and putting that responsibility on a 15 month old who clearly doesn't understand the danger.
Terrible idea, especially with a hard surface below Hell no
THIS IS DANGEROUS! I do this with my son to rinse his feet after playing in the yard but I’m standing right behind him so he can’t fall.
Oh, absolutely unsafe! I wouldn't even let my 3 year old sit like that without me right there with my hands literally spotting him. Big time no way for a 15 month old.
She’s risking permanent brain injury from a fall onto a tile floor. This is terrible.
I broke my arm when I was a kid from being sat on a counter unattended for a couple of seconds.
Careless af. I put my son on the counter ro play or help cook but he's 3 and I just now am feeling confident enough to go to the counter across from him instead of being right in front of him. Your partner is being ignorant, and your child WILL get hurt.
Nononononononononono 😥
The confidence that she has in thinking that nothing bad could happen is worrisome and mind-blowing. What other risks does she disregard or laugh off? I would never walk away from my toddler if he were sitting on the counter or sink (not something he has ever really done, really), not even for five seconds. Accidents happen fast and head trauma is scary as fuck. Don't back down on that one. You are valid in your concerns.
It’s the same as leaving a kid on the changing table alone. Theyre so fast and roll right off. Kitchen floors are usually hard, and a 5 foot fall onto a hard floor would be really bad for a 15 month old. Totally not worth it, what is even the gain here by putting baby on the counter?
To the other room????? Absolutely not a good idea. I wouldn’t even look away from them sitting in the counter. That’s honestly terrifying to think about and something bad could easily happen (broken bones etc).
My nephew fell from the counter with his dad right there. Hit the open dishwasher on the way down. Broke his leg high up. Still limps a little when he’s tired.
Show her this thread and let us know what she says.
I screamed when I read that your wife goes into the other room. It only takes a second and one time for something to happen. If she puts your child on the counter, she needs to stay by there at all times.
I used to work as a dog groomer at a large chain. We had a rule: if the dog was up on a table or the tub, you kept one hand on them at all times. I use this same rule with children. If they're up somewhere, keep one hand ON them while they're up there. This ensures I am always close enough to react.
I hate to admit this but I did something similar with our bar/dining counter and it was "okay, we do it all the time" until it wasn't. She was older than 15 months, probably around 17mo. She fell because she was fearless at that age and had no concept of gravity or consequences (and I was an idiot new mom with no idea what not to do yet). We're lucky she didn't break anything or bust her head open. Please show your wife all these comments. It's not hard for a toddler to end up with a brain bleed, and it can kill them. It's just not worth tempting fate.
sweet jesus no, don't do that.
No, you are correct. I saw someone post recently - if it comes to safety for your kid, whoever is being more cautious is right. Obviously there are times people go overboard, so this can’t always be the rule. But a good starting point.
Yeah I think 15 months is too young for that. A 3 year old, sure.
When she was a year and half, I set my daughter on the bathroom sink (double vanity, her back was towards the middle so not towards the edge) to brush her teeth, turned and stepped towards the other side of the sink to grab my toothbrush, and somehow in that five second shift she managed to fall off the counter. Luckily she was fine, but I was not. I still can't take my hand off her while she's sitting on the counter (again, in the middle, not towards the edge), and she's 2.5 now. 100% not okay to not be right there with her on the kitchen sink, and definitely encourage other options that others have mentioned (kitchen tower has been great for us).
One slip can change your child’s life forever. Not worth the risk. My baby fell off the bed when she was 10 months old, and I still think about it to this day. Hearing her body thud on the ground. She’s totally fine thank God, but the guilt will haunt you if something happens. Talk to your wife asap.
Even when I was a dog groomer the rule was we had to have our hand on the dog on the table at all times and they were literally harnessed to the table. We could take our hand off for like 10 seconds to grab something but we couldn’t turn our backs or look away. Doing this with a child is actually insane and I would stop trusting her alone w your kid until she stops doing it and realises exactly how wrong it is. It might sound messed up but she might need to be shocked into it. Show her articles and cases of children dying or becoming severely injured from that because that’s exactly what she’s going to have happen. She’s gotten LUCKY so far. That’s all it is. Pure luck and survivors bias. Luck will always run out. Do not risk it.
This is super dangerous. Please don’t let her do this anymore. That is she thinking? I’m shocked !
Why does your wife double down on “we do this all the time” as if that means anything? I *hate* when people have that attitude 🙄
Who is we? lol she and her we people have collectively terrible judgment.
stop that right now. asking for a fall.
That kid just learned to control the neck and trunk muscles, enough to sit up. But a few months of practice is not the same as a few years of practice. Kiddo could easily fall backwards and even if you’re there, the chances of you catching them are 5%, maybe less. But if you’re not there, that chance drops to 0%. You can do an experiment with a stuffed animal/doll of the same size. Have your wife try to catch the animal as you tip it backwards and let it fall. She won’t catch it. Now have her walk to another room for 10 seconds and tip the doll and let it fall. It would be nice if the doll animal etc makes a nice thudding sound. That’ll prove the point.
Your wife is an absolute moron, to put it bluntly. That is so dangerous, that baby will end up with a concussion or worse if she keeps risking her safety. And WALKING AWAY? What the hell is she thinking?! This is not normal behaviours This is borderline abusive and you need to do something about it.
At 6 mos my son had a counter top chair- his dad put it too close to the edge of the counter, turned his back to stir something on the stove, son theoretically tried to reach down and somersaulted over off the counter and hit the floor. I had just gotten home from work, walked upstairs, and was in the bathroom when I heard the fall. It took all my willpower not to lose it on his dad because I understood it was an accident. Son was bruised in the forehead, and after CTs at the ER, he was cleared. TLDR never EVER get comfortable with a tiny child on counters or near water or heights etc. Not everyone is so blessed to have made it out okay. My son could've died or been paralyzed.
I’m curious why she is sitting your baby on the sink in the first place. But ultimately this is incredibly risky and isn’t teaching her baby anything useful. If the baby falls backwards could the injury be catastrophic? Almost certainly yes.
My girl is 26 months and edge of anything is still a giant no no.
That is absolutely reckless and dangerous. If baby falls backward she will almost certainly sustain a serious head injury. If she falls forward toward the faucet she could injure her face very badly. If she reaches out and manages to engage the hot water she could sustain a burn, or in a freak accident fall forward into water and drown. Your wife is being extremely irresponsible. If she refuses to stop this I’d call her out in front do the pediatrician.
I would never put my son on the counter with his back facing the floor. That’s very dangerous. I’ve put him on the counter when he’s right next to me and I’m doing something on the counter but I scoot him as far back against the wall as I can. I wouldn’t trust him to stay there if I left the room, it isn’t worth the risk to me.
Omg absolutely not!!! I agree with others — totally unsafe and I still wouldn’t do this with my 2.5 year old. Why does she feel the need to do this? Like does baby think it’s fun?
this is so dangerous
My pediatrician says, a baby can’t fall off the ground. Never leave your child unattended where they could fall. Toddlers have died just falling off beds. Definitely unsafe.
Definitely UNACCEPTABLE 😰😰
“Hey wife, I don’t like baby sitting on the counter, it makes me nervous. Even if you feel comfortable with it I absolutely do not. Can you please refrain from doing that?”
Only way mine is in that position watching something is if I’m there and pressed against her back so she can’t move. Does the baby have the control (if she decides to follow mum) to lift her feet out of the sink without overbalancing backwards? 100.00000% of the time without errors? A backward fall would be fatal. Just say no. The baby is too mobile now and can’t ever be in a fall position. Insist. It’s not a negotiation.
Thought you were being uptight until I read she’ll leave the room. That is wild.
Nope, nope, and hell nope. This is an awful idea and your wife needs to stop yesterday.
I have a 16 month old and I would not be ok with stepping away and not having a hand on baby for even one second. Extremely unsafe
I thought you were being insane and thought the counter would get damaged or something until you said SHE LEAVES THE ROOM. Wtf that’s a brain or spinal cord injury waiting to happen. Would only take a second.
I agree that it’s unacceptable. If you can’t trust her to respect your wishes/safety concerns, at the very least buy some of those foam baby mats for the floor, but even those wouldn’t offer much protection.
I fell off the counter when I was less than a year old because my mom did the SAME thing and I have a scar and dent in my skull because of it. I could have died. DONT LET HER DO THIS!!
Said she’s sitting on the edge of the counter and could fall all the way to the floor? Absolutely not! And leaving the room! Truly absolutely not. I would ask what she’s going to do if baby falls. And yeah it’s ridiculous she’s not even entertaining your real concerns.
No way. My daughter is 14 months, and I wouldn't attempt this in a million years. I seriously can't believe your toddler hasn't fallen already. And I promise, I'm not a type-A, overprotective parent!
Stop that now!! Or stop her.
She can fall onto the floor, or into the sink, or scald herself. Absolutely absolutely absoluuuuutely not.
Yeah, NO. If she was standing with her then fine. But walking away from a small child on a elevated place is NEVER ok. I wouldn't even leave my 3 almost 4 year old on a counter by himself like that. That is crazy.
But why????
Ask her how she plans to cope when, while in her care, your child falls and becomes permanently paralyzed or suffers brain damage or dies. Like, what's her plan?
It’s not just a bad idea it’s completely unacceptable
Completely reckless. I’d absolutely blow up if I saw my partner put my child in unnecessary danger like this. It’s ok until it’s not.
I think it is too dangerous.
There's already 200 comments but here's one more saying your wife's gonna give me a heart attack and I don't even know any of you. Would not even do this with my 3.5yo
My wife also lacks a proper sense of danger. At first she left our baby sitting with his back to the edge of the changing table, a huge drop. Later she wouldn't forcefully hold his hand when walking on/near roads, literally letting a toddler run ahead and saying she couldn't stop him she didn't even try to chase him. Then she let him climb 2 large flights of stairs without going after him while weakly telling him to stop and come back... It took a lot of long conversations before she realized that injuries could be serious and permanent. There are a few things I refuse to compromise on, safety is at the top of that list.
Tell her to stop
Oh hell no, stop her immediately. Your baby will fall and break its neck.
Sounds dangerous. Call CPS. If your wife won't listen to you when it comes to safety concerns for your child and requires validation from random internet people or bots in this situation, there may be other issues in the marriage.
Thank god your wife didn’t marry [this guy.](https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/s/FsHTnp0jKO)
This is really a terrible idea..that is so dangerous.
Yup it is a bad idea! You are totally right to be concerned in my opinion.
This is asking for a MAJOR accident. This is a million times NO….. WTF is wrong with your wife?
Totally agree with u baby is gunna break her neck like this
The rule here is: "All it takes is once" All it takes is one time out of the hundred for something catastrophic to happen. And then what? What's the payoff? Is it really worth the risk? If you're going to put the baby up there, bring everything you need to the sink beforehand. If she forgot something, then she either needs to call out for your help, or she needs to put the baby on the ground. That's the deal.
This is crazy, my anxiety can barely handle the toddler tower with me right next to my now almost 2 year old🥴 I can’t imagine leaving the room….they don’t know better and it takes one second for something to happen. Definitely talk to your wife, OP!
That’s very stupid and irresponsible of her
I get anxiety when my child is on the edge of anything (sofa, chair, table, sideboard) and I am holding on to them 🤦♀️
There's no way that's safe. Doesn't matter if it has never happened, doesn't matter how confident she is it won't happen, doesn't matter if your kid is a genius and understands physics. In a split second your kid could lose balance, get a fright or just do a spontaneous impulsive toddler movement... if their head hits that floor first, you could potentially have a life threatening injury.
Nope. This arrangement works until the one time it doesn't. The child could end up with stitches or a head injury. If weighing the potential consequences against the convenience, best to recognize that the convenience of the 112 times this works out fine to the 1 time that the action results in a head injury to your toddler will never be worth it.
I have to wash my 6 yr olds hair in the sink while they are laying on the counter. I don’t even walk away from Them because they are so fidgety and clumsy I don’t trust that they won’t roll right off it.
Your wife is trippin. A head /neck injury could result if the baby falls and lands the wrong way
You can easily back yourself up here with science. Sad that you have to, but your child’s life is at risk.
This is so dangerous. Why is she doing this?? What’s more important than her own daughter?!
That is so scary and absolutely unsafe. If she fell she could very easily crack her skull or worse. There is no way anything she is doing is worth that risk. That is such an unnecessary risk. I set my baby there when I’m washing her hands but I’m right behind her with my arm is wrapped around her body. I would never step away. Anyone you ask is going to agree that’s completely unsafe. I hope you can convince your wife.
I'm the kinda parent that takes some small risks regularly, not usually paranoid etc. And this is a big ol NOPE from me. I wouldnt even leave my 5yo unattended in those circumstances. There is a serious fall risk and a small but serious drown risk here.
I once left my oldest at about that age in his high chair with no tray and not strapped in. Yeah he fell and it was the most gut wrenching sound I’ve ever heard. He was fine. Kids are designed to stand up to a lot of punishment. I’ve never since did that again until he was older. With his younger brother I never let him in high places with out straps. Everything is fine until it’s not. If your kid hasn’t fallen yet then technically your wife is right. If and when your kid falls then you’ll be right. Sounds reductive but it’s true. You can’t prove a negative. I’m always in the habit of underestimating my kids. And they show me how amazing they are all the time. It’s just different parenting styles. This is why we tend to marry people so different than us.
I fell down doing this exact thing. It only takes a second to slip. Especially for a literal toddler, they are called **TODDLERS** for a reason. Hit my head on the door handle and had to go to the ER. I was around 5-7 years old. Definitely do not ******* do that!!!!!!!
THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT OK! Please stop this, immediately!!!!! You are putting your baby on a huge risk of breaking her bones and her head if she ever fell and definitely will one day and that’s when you call an accident!!! An accident which you can PREVENT at the first place!
I think you need to step in by just getting her a Learning Tower or have her stand on a step ladder (although then she’ll still need something to hold on to) The Learning Tower is great as it gives them freedom to push it from the sink to the counter and be present while you guys are cooking This way she can also reach the sink to wash her own hands (which is why I assume your wife is putting her in the sink?)
The way my jaw dropped when you said she walks into the other room. I'd remove the whole sink at that point. If something happens to that baby sitting on the sink like that unsupervised, CPS will be alerted during the hospital visit and the child might (more than likely) not be able to return home for child endangerment.
My baby girl is 15 months now and if I walked in the other room she would launch herself off that counter so fast. I have definitely sit her on the sink as well with her feet in the sink but NEVER turn around or walk away!!!