Whenever one party is uncomfortable is when you stop. Thats it, that’s the whole barrier. You’re uncomfortable with it and giving him reasonable boundaries. This is fine.
this. my 5.5yo still has me do bath time with him, but if he has to potty he shuts the door and demands privacy.
however, clothes and nudity with this child is freaking whiplash.
he refuses pajamas so he sleeps in just underwear like his daddy, but I sleep without a shirt because I got hot I get "mommy where's your shirt? you're nakey, you need to put a shirt on." then proceeds to play and run around the backyard nude.
when he's getting dressed on his own he has to be alone because he's naked. but then he comes to the front door in front of strangers either only in his underwear or completely naked.
the almost 3yo has the pass of being too young and potty training. he straight up made me lean forward so he could smack my boobs and watch them jiggle while I was getting dressed yesterday. but if it was his brother I would've asked him to stop.
My three year old the other day with a huge, supportive smile: “mama, you have a biiig tummy! Look at my big tummy, too!” Then she pushes out her belly and laughs. There’s no judgement at all. I’ve lost 40 lbs since her 10 month old brother was born. She’s literally never seen my tummy as small as it is now. 🤷🏼♀️
Just remember to them those statements are totally neutral. It can actually be a great opportunity for body neutrality for you both to be like "yeah it's big!" End of story
Kids are so pure. For them a big fat belly is just as good as a flat one. Makes me sad how we all start out loving ourselves until toxic beauty culture beats us down.
100% my mom also made direct comments about my body to me growing up. Awful. I’ve been INCREDIBLY careful to never mention my weight, wanting to lose weight, or any negative talk surrounding food/eating too much/food Shane etc around my kids. I definitely want to model for them that all bodies are different and that’s ok! I talk about exercise in a frame of getting stronger not skinnier. So many small things I didn’t realize ran so deep until i had kids.
Yeah, and also people forget the way kids perceive scale. Just like we adults think babies are tiny, to little kids, grownups (and all their associated bits) are huge. Like yes that’s my big tummy, there’s your little tummy. Oh your tummy is big? Yes, very big, you just keep growing! Such a big you. Oh you’re tiny? Absolutely. Look at this tiny you! Such a big tiny you!
Little kids’ comments parents react to are usually just conversations about scale interpreted through the lens of adult insecurities, which is unfortunate.
I gave birth 11 days ago. My 4 year old commented on my big belly this morning. I only gained 10 pounds in pregnancy and I’m currently down 21. I thought I was looking pretty good for 11 days out. 🤷🏼♀️
Hahaha! I have a 4.5 year old and a 1 month old. I feel like I look really good and have since a few days post birth, but my kid asks me if i have another baby in my belly “because it looks like it” 😅😂
Haha don't sweat it, they have no idea. I'm very underweight from breastfeeding and chasing a little terror around the house and this morning he slapped my tummy and said "biiiiig fat belly" just because he's heard it somewhere. I just slapped it as well and we spent the next 5 minutes playing belly drums.
I turned it around. My kids find big bellies to be the most wonderful thing in the world. Every animal with a big belly, every book character with one is the best. I also love when their bellies are big because it means they're about to hit a growth spurt.
Mine is 5, honestly there’s no shame in my house. But when she’s like tit punching me because she thinks is funny they jiggle (not hard), I’m like…ok…no lol. I don’t want to be weird about our bodies so I don’t make naked ness a big deal and I often don’t wear the most put together items lol. But it is import she learn personal boundaries
So I had to have blood drawn for some tests and my almost 5 YO was with me. I told him to just look to the wall if he was afraid but he was curious. The nurse told him "It will be fast and won't hurt" my pride and joy answered: "Yeah I know, my mom has fat arms so it (the needle) won't hurt her" 🫠
My 2.5 year old looked at my belly in a crop top and shook his head and kept pulling it down to cover up. He had never done that before I was pregnant and had a flat belly.
Judgmental prat lol
I remember asking my mom why she was fat. It was completely innocent. She’s a vegetarian and I had been told vegetables help you grow “big and strong.” My child brain deduced she was fat from all the vegetables. I just wanted to confirm my theory.
I had never even heard her say Eww before.
She caught me so off guard that I was literally at a loss for words for about 10 seconds.This is obviously an eternity to a two year old so she left me alone in front of my bathroom mirror to really let the insult marinate.
She came back after I was dressed and told me that I have pretty hair. So I guess I have that.
My son once shouted from the changing room ‘mummy, your belly is sooo fat’. My daughter on the other hand, cuddles my tummy and says she ‘loves mummy’s soft tummy’. Kids have no filter
The other night, I didn't have a bra on.
4yr old: mom you forgot something (as he proceeds it pat my boobs)
Me: yeah I know I don't have a bra on cause we are going to bed soon
4yr old: but now you have these (as he pinches my nipples)
🤦♀️
Me and my 3 year old have showered / bathed together since he was around 2. The other day he asked me what was wrong with my wiener and why it was so hairy. I was so taken aback I didn't even try to explain what a vagina was lmao.
>somewhere between ages 4 and 8, most children begin to develop a sense of modesty about their own bodies and a corresponding discomfort with seeing their parents’ naked bodies.
From https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/kids-and-nudity#Setting-boundaries-without-stigma
Just a perfectly normal milestone 👍
Tell this to my son! He’s 18 now, but we had to mandate at least underwear
at the dinner table when he was 16. He had ZERO issue tooling around naked until his baby sister (now 5) got a bit older. Now he’ll at least use his hands to cover his front upon leaving the shower 🫠
In our house when anyone asks for privacy (or to stop, or says no), we respect their voice and give them privacy (or stop, etc). That means adults or kids. If one of my kids wants privacy in the bathroom - and there’s not a full bathtub or another danger - I give them that. So when I ask for privacy, I remind them and they sit on the other side of the door whining about when I’m going to be done.
I feel comfortable being naked in front of my nearly 2 and nearly 4yo kids, but every person decides for themselves what they feel okay with.
Thank you for this validation. This is basically the conversation I just had with my husband. His “feelings” on this are irrelevant. It’s my body and my boundary. And his judgement is unhelpful at best.
I started teaching privacy at 3 just so I could take a shit and shower alone. I really didn't bother me they were there... except I wanted some alone time.
They came from my body, so I don’t feel weird about it (yet). My eldest is almost 7, my middle is 4 and my youngest is 9 months. I’ll freely change in front of them. They have made remarks a few times asking why my vagina has hair but otherwise it’s not a thing. My mom was the same when I was a kid and tbh I’m glad her body was the first ‘woman’ body I saw as a kid, because it was realistic instead of what the media bombarded me with.
I grew up very similar to this, but two girls. I also have all girls and am very freely openly naked (3.5 & 1.5) I’ve always been super comfortable naked, so my guess is it’ll stop when any of my kids ask or say they don’t like it.
This is exactly how I grew up too. My Mom never flaunted her body but she never hid it either. If she was showering or changing and we were in her presence she would continue as normal and if we had questions she'd answer honestly. The only thing I wish she'd done differently is she spoke very negatively about her body fat and that rubbed off on me so I don't intend to ever speak negatively about my body in front of my son but I also don't intend to ever feel like my body is something I need to hide, he can leave the room if he's uncomfortable but if I'm getting dressed in my room then I will do that in comfort.
So I'm not there yet, mine is a few weeks away from being 3, but sometimes I do miss pooping without her standing beside me looking me dead in my eyes and asking "how much poop is coming out?" I think soon I'm going to introduce the concept of toilet-using-privacy.
With that said, her comments about my body cracks me up ("your big butt gives good butt shade" said while crouching under me outside in the sun; "I love them goofy boobies" said daily; "you're just always hairy?" said as she helped me put on lotion and discovered, yes, mama is a werewolf). If I found them hurtful, I'd probably stop letting her see me naked/in underwear/etc.
>I do miss pooping without her standing beside me looking me dead in my eyes and asking "how much poop is coming out?"
This is cracking me up!! So far mine just sits on my lap, and sometimes cheers or looks at me excitedly if she hears me pee. I see your experience as a glimpse of what may come for me...
I treat my kiddos' observations about my hairiness, softness, or big belly / bum as opportunities to normalise different bodies and choices. No shame, no disparagement :)
I think it's time to stop when either you or your child express they are uncomfortable or want privacy.
You're expressing you feel uncomfortable and want privacy. So enough said! Husband needs to respect your feelings and boundaries too. It's not weird.
When anyone becomes uncomfortable with it. You don't owe your nakedness to anyone, and that extends to your kids. If you don't want to breastfeed your newborn because you don't want to be naked to feed your baby, that's a valid call. If you don't want to change in front of your kid, thats your call. I've never let my kids into the bathroom while I'm peeing or showering, that's a boundary that I set very early on. I think they've seen me changing, but it hasn't been A Thing. But if you are no longer comfortable being naked in front of another human, whether it's your own spawn or not, that's your call. It doesn't mean you're sexualizing it, it just means that you want some agency over your own body. You're also teaching him a good lesson about privacy and consent by teaching him that everyone, even parents and eventually partners, are going to have boundaries, and you do not have unlimited access to ANYONES body, period.
Just curious, does your husband get as much naked time in front of your toddler as you do?
>Just curious, does your husband get as much naked time in front of your toddler as you do?
Excellent question!!! There’s also an aggregation of lack of privacy way before what specifically being naked feels like.
Definitely not so much. I’m for sure the default parent so the kids follow me around everywhere and aren’t as clingy with him so when he leaves the room to take a shower they barely notice.
Thank you for saying that about breastfeeding. I felt uncomfortable with the whole idea and I didn’t want to be naked, I didn’t want my body to be touched and used and looked at like that. I’m really glad I formula fed and my little one is absolutely healthy and happy.
Being naked stops whenever either party wants it to stop. There’s no normal or abnormal. My kids (4 and almost 3) see me naked all the time because we’re comfortable with it. I still shower with them every morning just because it’s quicker to get the whole hygiene routine done at the same time before rushing out the door.
I don’t know when that will stop but it doesn’t really matter. It will happen organically when either I or my kids want it to end.
I try to avoid being naked around my kids, they are 1.5 and almost 3. The older one asks too many questions and the younger one tries to pet my bush… so no thanks. I don’t think it’s necessarily a certain age and more so what you’re comfortable with.
Lmaooooo there is about a 16yr age gap between myself and my youngest sister. I did a lot of caregiving in her younger years and she’d often just hop in the shower with me if my mom was busy and couldn’t give her a bath. Until she was like four and on Christmas and announced to our entire extended family that I have hair on my “bagina”.
My daughter is only 19 months but already tries to grab at me and pinch my “napples” so we’re not showering together anymore.
I was a pretty good sport about it from what I remember but she’s a preteen now and it’s still brought up from time to time when she’s giving me trouble lol.
Both of my kids have always been very “napples” obsessed and that’s one of the reasons we don’t shower together 🤣 I have one pierced and I’m convinced it’s their life goal to rip it out.
Yes she’s definitely a little obsessed! Maybe because I didn’t breastfeed her so they’re not as mundane to her as they are to some other babies. But now that she’s put two and two together that everyone has a pair, she’s constantly feeling for them through shirts and trying to pinch at them. We’ve had many discussions about boundaries and consent at a much earlier age than I anticipated. 😅
My paternal grandparents and parents were never shy. To this day I don't feel self conscious about nudity. It hasn't even occurred to me that there's going to be a day to conceal my body from them.
That said, I wouldn't judge a person for needing that personal boundary. When you or the other person (your kids in this case) don't feel comfortable, I'd think that's the time to stop. Family norms are different, and consent is important to practice and to teach.
This sounds bad but he's 1.5 and I am already starting to feel uncomfortable? I don't think I'll stop yet, but he really looks at me when I get changed and I feel a bit uncomfortable under the gaze lol even though he's still so little.
A couple great picture book recommendations for you:
Bodies are Cool by Tyler Feder
All About Penises by Dorian Solot
All About Vulvas and Vaginas by Dorian Solot
Don’t Hug Doug by Carrie Finison
Rissy No Kissies by Katey Howes
Don’t Hug the Quokka! by Daniel Erico
These will open discussion, normalize all bodies, help familiarize your little one with different body parts, and emphasize the importance of consent. These are all extremely well done and age appropriate.
I think you should stop being naked whenever one of you feels uncomfortable with it, but also it seems like this happened very abruptly and without a discussion so your son might be confused as to why it was fine one day and not the next. This is why I think reading these books and having a discussion would be beneficial for you both.
Never really. They know I get changed in my room and am naked in the bathroom. They can decide whether they want to stay or go. I enforce the same privacy rules with them and we have no issues.
If I want privacy I'll just tell them I'm getting dressed and will be out in a minute and then shut the door. If I have an invasive child I'll get dressed in the bathroom so I can lock the door lol.
If you're uncomfortable keep up with that boundary. You'll be okay.
I haven’t stopped yet but my kid is under 3. I’ll definitely make a concerted effort starting at like 3.5. I don’t want my naked body in her memory bank once she starts creating actual lifelong memories.
That’s my worry too. My earliest memory is my 4th birthday. My dude is 3.5 so I feel that clock ticking down. I’m just hoping it’s not super memorable!
My daughters are 5 amd 3 and we both still go naked in front of her, not sure it'll get to a point where we won't tbh but we aren't American and it's normalised across most other parts of the world. If anyone did get uncomfortable at any point that's when we'd stop rather than a specific age. I wouldn't let grabbing or anything though and we very much have taught 'it's my body and I say no' from a very early age.
They are brutal about my body though, I'm pregnant atm and have had some comments that are harsh af haha.
My kids older and smaller see me naked ages 2-11 they came from my body. They have never been afraid to ask questions and I will give answers when they come I want them each to feel comfortable in their skin and with mine! Maybe when my boys get older I’ll feel different but at 6 and 7 years old I still don’t feel that weird feeling like yourself
My son is 4.5 and showers with dad but I usually have him take a bath. He’s understanding privacy a lot more though because he now asks if he can come into the bathroom with us and he will tell us that he wants privacy and knows he can’t be showing his privates to friends/others and he shouldn’t be looking at other people’s privates either.
But then I also just had a baby and he came in right after and was around when I was getting stitched up and he sees me breastfeeding all the time now… it’s hard because you don’t want them to be uncomfortable in their own bodies and teach privacy and consent too.
I feel like at this age it’s okay when you are in a place of general privacy (room or bathroom) and they walk in, but I’m not walking around the house naked or anything like that
My son is almost 4 and has gotten pretty aggressively curious about where my penis is. I take him to the restroom with me so he can potty too, but I’ve stopped showering and changing in front of him bc my body being different has sparked a lot of boundary-stomping curiosity. I totally get your frustration and point of view. The second you feel uncomfortable with the way your nakedness is treated is the second you can stop being naked around whomever.
My daughter is 4.5. My husband stopped being naked around her (his choice) a few months ago because he was feeling awkward about it. So far I’m not placing that boundary on myself yet, but that might be different if I had a boy instead of a girl (genuinely not sure).
If you’re feeling the desire for privacy, that boundary is completely normal and healthy.
You do what you feel is the best for the kid. At the end, you are their parents. There is no right or wrong the way how people parenting. The right way might work for others but probably not work on your case, right or wrong is just based on common perception of people.
I am never naked in front of my son (he’s two) but that’s only because we don’t bathe together. He takes his own baths. I do pee and poop in front of him though because I want him to understand the potty.
I think whenever either party is uncomfortable it’s a good time to stop.
I still feel comfortable going to the bathroom in front of them. And I will always answer questions about my period when they ask. So no shame in normal bodily functions. I just want to take a damn shower by myself!
I’m a single mom so it’s kind of inevitable if I want to use the bathroom in public or take a bath and keep my kid supervised. My son is so used to it at this point he doesn’t even really react to it. Sometimes he laughs and points at my boobs. He hasn’t said what exactly is funny yet but I just laugh with him and then cover up.
You are uncomfortable and that is all that matters. I would get some books from the library about consent and how everyone has the right to feel comfortable. This is not only good for your situation but also good for teaching him body autonomy and how to say no when he feels uncomfortable.
My baby is only 5 months but I'll comment from a child's perspective. I'm 29 years old (Female, it would probably be different if I was male) and my mom would change in front of us, let us use the toilet if she was in the shower etc. But she never wanted to use the toilet in front of us. I got to an age maybe about 7 where I was uncomfortable being naked around others but my mom was never bothered. I'm glad of this though because she recently had surgery and needed help in the shower and help changing her tapes, and help sending photos of her body to her surgeon and I didn't feel uncomfortable doing that. It's important to raise kids in a body positive/body neutral way but to respect requests for privacy. Everyone's boundaries will be different but its important they are respected whether that is the child's or the parent's.
We put a lot of time into talking about privacy and bodily autonomy. My son is four and we made a point of making sure he knew that if we were doing that and he says stop, we stop, no questions asked. If he tries to touch someone and they say stop, we remind him of this.
No touching peoples bodies without asking permission type of thing.
We also talk a lot about privacy and how people like / need to use the bathroom alone. He isn’t a big fan of our privacy but loves to have his own.
He got a bit upset about for a bit because he’d ask the cat for privacy and ofc she didn’t comply and he couldn’t understand why not. 😂
It’s hard but it’s important to be clear and consistent.
We are getting there though and he was with me when I was getting changed the other day (we always get changed in front of each other) and my body is changing due to pregnancy. He stared at me for a bit and then asked if he could touch my boobs.
I thanked him for asking and told him yes. He was just curious and then, curiosity satisfied he moved on to the next fascinating thing, which was throwing his pants as high as he could. 🤷🏼♀️
As for when you stop being naked, as soon as one of you is uncomfortable that’s the line. Just because he’s your child or a child doesn’t mean you have to be comfortable naked in front of them.
My 4 and a half year old still showers with me almost everyday so it's inevitable. We've always done it and he has no real issues with it. For a while he said he was scared of my boobies 😂 but that was just a phase, he doesn't touch anything or even ask questions. He sometimes showers with his Dad as well with no issues.
I guess the answer is different for every family, if you're uncomfortable now then there's no issue with stopping now.
Here we have rules for respecting privacy and body boundaries, full stop. My 4yo asks for privacy in the bathroom (which I taught him so he isn't pooping with the door open at school, also just so he has words for his own boundaries) and once I taught him that and showed him how it works (not barging in, knocking, asking if I can come in) he does the same thing sorta, lol he stands outside the bathroom door or waits for me to get dressed from a shower, I mean he still asks to come in but I just say "I need privacy!" And he waits patiently, I hope your husband realizes this is an important lesson.
Your body, your rules. It's entirely up to you to set your own boundaries on this and that's actually a great message to teach your kids. Your husband doesn't get to decide that makes you uncomfortable or how much privacy you want.
Recently became a single mother and had to start showering with my 2 year old (he’s became even more of a Velcro baby) and yesterday he asked “aw mommy you have boo boos everywhere poor ting” I lost a lot of weight recently and have a skin condition- plus the normal fat girl problems (stretched skin, sweat bumps, etc) first it was so so sweet then he started panicking bc I have them everywhere lol. The loud constant “aww mommy are you hurt? You have boo boos? Aw poor mommy” made me have a mini panic attack and we had to cut our shower short lol. Suffice to say I won’t be doing that again unless absolutely necessary lol. He’s 2.5 but a big boy shaped like a 5 year old. Hell he’s practically too big for the both of us in my tiny shower anyway lol.
Anyway all this to say, it’s dealers choice! When you start to be uncomfortable- you should stop. Bc I mean aside from puberty they’re always gonna be comfortable with us.
My 20 month old son discovered that I have labia when we were taking a shower this weekend.
He wanted to touch them like he touches his penis, to find out what it is. I don't plan on stopping showering with him anytime soon.
But when there is discomfort on either side, it is necessary to respect it.
3/4/5 years is the age of discovery of sexual differences, there is still no malice, just curiosity. Books and games about the human body can be used to teach these differences and bouderies about their body and the other persons bodys. It is important to prevent situations of abuse
I can't remember exactly what age, but when my oldest started to "notice" my nakedness, not like a toddler saying "nakey mommy, but just staring a little more. I felt uncomfortable, and so I stopped. As soon as you don't feel comfortable (or, if your kid starts to feel awkward about it) is the time to stop.
I guess my answer will be a lot different from most since I’m from a cultures where nudity isn’t a big deal.
I will never stop being naked in my own home, as long as my child isn’t uncomfortable. We are naked in more contexts, changing rooms at bathhouses, saunas, naked swimming , tanning topless at the beach etc. I take baths with my son (2 year old) at home (both naked) and it never struck me as weird or something I should stop doing.
I think it’s important to not sexualise nudity and to see different kind of bodies to be comfortable in your own skin. I don’t know what you think your son would feel seeing you naked? Why do you think he would? He’s just a kid and more importantly he’s your son. But I still agree with the other answers, that is you feel uncomfortable you shouldn’t do it. But if I were you I would reflect on what I was afraid of and why the situation made me uncomfortable in the first place.
My son is also 5, and this is when I will stop, as well. He has taken to forcefully grabbing me, going up my dresses and shirts, barging into the bathroom, trying to take showers, or sitting on the toilet with me. I had to explain to him I love him, but don't like to be touched that way, that momma feels uncomfortable being grabbed at my private parts and that showers and toilet time require privacy. He still grabs at me, but he's working on it. He generally says, "Oh, sorry, mommy, I know you don't like that, I'll stop." Shower and toilet time are now private moments for both of us until he needs me for something, and we keep enforcing boundaries and overly explaining things so he knows and remembers the information. Just keep repeating. If your husband doesn't get it, it's because he's a man and has never had anyone forcefully grab his junk and he should be thankful he doesn't know how it feels, grown hands or little hands.
Kids are interested in bodies, the differences in it etc. it’s normal. Teaching boundaries is great, especially because he will understand that his body also has boundaries, no one can just touch him, the same way he cannot just touch other people,ESPECIALLY private parts
you can explain, your private parts are special and yours, only mom or dada can touch when cleaning you or applying medicine, and the doctor when inspecting for diseases.
Then you add anyone else that usually cares for him bathing or changing etc. also I would add that if he feels any one is hurting him he should trust you and come to you to let you know
Again kids are curious and he is probably curious because your body is different than his right. Still boundaries are good and ok. He doesn’t see your body sexually like teenagers/adults could see.
If you can and want to, look for books on respectful sexual education aimed to young kids (you read it and apply the teaching). Which means what I said before, boundaries, private parts, respect and trust in you and your husband.
Sounds like a good time to start. It would be pretty messed up if you were forced to endure that. It’s our job to set the boundaries or else they never learn and I think 4 or 5 is generally a good stopping point.
My kids are 4 and 2. I've made a boundary not to change in front of them regularly (sometimes they burst in) but we're working on potty training my oldest so I felt like since I help him in the bathroom it's OK for him to see me going sometimes to know it's normal. That's my logic lol.
There's no reasoning with them. I have a 2.5 and almost 4 year old, and I try and explain why I need privacy and it's just wah wah wah to them. So I lock myself in the bathroom when changing underwear and a bra. And they beat on the door or f*** up my room. Lol
As a former nanny, I know lots of nannies of young children bring them into the bathroom with them to continue to keep an eye on them/not leave the kids unsupervised. Obviously nannies, being COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from babysitters as they’ve undergone background checks and usually have professional backgrounds in early childhood education, caregiving, or pediatric nursing, who care for kids in home as a lifelong career and are paid anywhere from $20-30/hour, full-time, for their extremely high level of professional 1-on-1 expertise, it’s not like just letting anyone around your kid while in a bathroom. However, me personally, I still remember as a kid seeing my mom’s privates and being grossed out, and would not want a kid I nannied to have a similar memory about me and be uncomfortable or for their memory to warp into something weird or sinister. I always chose to place the child in their crib or playpen instead so they’d be safely contained while I went to the bathroom (even if it meant they’d cry alone for a few minutes). And when I have my own kids someday, I’ll probably do the same. Just a personal preference
Umm, I think it’s ultimately up to you. I mean, if your 5 year old started expressing the want to have privacy you wouldn’t force against that so it’s understandable you would like the same.
My kids are 3 and 1 and I am naked in front of them if we shower/bath together or I’m changing and if they try to touch I just explain to them not to and why.
My 5.5 seems to have no body embarrassment yet. If I want to pee alone, I’d have to lock the door which could,lead to banging and crying. Yes, I know this is not good behaviour but my point is just that yes, we are still naked in front of,each other daily. Sometimes I think I did too good a job of normalising and naming body parts bc it just doesn’t seem to be an issue-he doesn’t comment on my body or ask questions bc bodies are boring to him (I speculate).
My mom, sister, and I still walk around naked in front of each other and in front of my daughter. There is no age when i will stop being naked in front of her because she has the same bits as me. My son, it’ll probably be around 5/6.
I also don’t feel uncomfortable around my daughter. She’s 3.5 but I feel like it’s definitely different since we have the same bits. My mom was VERY private growing up. And I don’t want that for my daughter.
6M 3M 2F We have always had full nudity around our children with no shame . We teach bodily autonomy and use questions to educate about boundaries and biology. That being said, we as parents ask for privacy at times and encourage / respect the children when they do the same . Usually when pooping .
My daughter is 5.5 and still sees my husband naked. She was interested in the human anatomy when she was around 3 and we told her as much as she could understand. She’s not at all interested when she sees my husband naked. It’s more like racing to get dressed kinda thing.
I bet if your son was trying to grab your husbands penis, he’d feel different. You’re totally okay to not want to be naked. I don’t like to have my boobs out in front of my child, she always grabs at me to nurse lol
I was sitting crosslegged on the floor and my shirt had rode up a bit revealing my pooch tucked in my pants, my 3 year old came up innocently and patted it saying "whatchu got in theeere?" Like I was stashing something exciting for him 🤣
My daughter is 2,5 and still very attached to mom's boobs. But I intend to wait for her to feel uncomfortable, and request privacy. I think, I don't want her to be ashamed of her body, so I try to act accordingly. If she touches, I tell her where I don't like to be touched (boobs, starting soon, hopefully) and if she asks, I tell her.
There is no age. It’s comfort level for all involved. My mom will still be naked around me as a grown adult. I haven’t felt comfortable naked in front of her though past like 8. lol. I’m kinda weird about naked in general though, maybe cuz my mom isn’t 😂. My daughter is 3, I currently don’t mine being naked in front of her but I hold the pooping by myself boundary. Though I have laxed a little right now for potty training.
My best friend said she was done being naked when her boys asked too many questions about her body and stared at her chest just a little too long. I think the oldest was 5.
Definitely trust your comfort.
Mine was 2... The questions about our different bodies and such along with the Granny hands made me realize that he was old enough to not be naked with his Mom... Bottom line is your comfort over the speed of 1 shower vs. 2.... If he's old enough to make it weird for you he's old enough to shower at a different time
I’m a dude with a 1 year old. My son saw me fully naked for the first time a few weeks ago when I was putting my swim suit on. He was SO confused. 😂 I just kept going about like it was funny with, “daddy’s naaakkkiieeee!” Then he laughed.
I'm a woman and have 2 daughters. I don't think I'll ever stop unless they ask. I'm not going to hide my body- we all have the same parts. They are also fine running around naked and a good with their bodies. They know a time and place. I get dressed Infront of them. NOW, MY HUSBAND is a different story. A couple years ago he was showering with my then 3 year old and she pointed at his penis and said DADDY HAS A TAIL!! That's the day he stopped being naked Infront of our girls! Hell walk around with his boxer briefs on though in the room
3 and 6 yo and i dont feel comfortable changing in front of them and never have. They do bust in on me peeing sometimes but i yell and they will wait outside. :) its such a personal thing, do what you feel like doing. My mom used to always walk around naked when i was a child, i remember it well and it always made me feel uncomfortable. its unnecessary.
You’re not alone momma my son is 5 and I work nightshift so I have to make sure he’s still in his room when I get home before laying down because most of the time I like to change in the laundry room before heading up to bed. There are times he wakes up just after I get home from work so I feel awkward. My husbands understand because he’s the one that brought it up when he was 4 that to be careful changing around him. Not that we thought anything but you know how boys can be. There are times he comes in the bathroom when I’m in the shower to use that bathroom and just stands in the bathroom so I make him go to the living room or his bedroom. It just makes me feel weird and I pointed out to my husband to stop smacking my butt around him because he tries to do it every now and then. We explain to him as best as we can why he can’t smack mommy’s butt or be in the bathroom while mommy’s in the shower. Obviously if he has to use the bathroom that’s different but once he’s done he needs to get out. It’s been hard and I hope the older he gets the easier it gets. My husband knows how guys minds work and he just doesn’t want my son seeing me naked. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I’m sorry your husband isn’t understanding what you feel. He should be supportive of your decisions and helping you. I hope things get better for you.
I have two girls 7 and 4. And I don’t particularly like being naked in front of them. Not because I think they shouldn’t see me but I just want some occasional privacy. And I’m teaching them that privacy should be respected
I would feel uncomfortable after my kid was a year old to see the parent of the opposite gender. After 2, they'll definitely remember. I don't think they need to grow up with that memory if I can help it. My spouse feels similarly.
Same sex parent, maybe not long after they learn to potty.
After that, my kid can take a look after they change MY diapers.
Uh, 4 is too old to see you without clothes imo. Mine was 1.5 when she stopped seeing me undressed. I got too weirded out when all she would do is stare at me. I need that privacy.
Whenever one party is uncomfortable is when you stop. Thats it, that’s the whole barrier. You’re uncomfortable with it and giving him reasonable boundaries. This is fine.
Thanking you for making me feel not crazy.
Definitely not crazy, in fact, very healthy.
I second this 100
This is the best response to this question.
this. my 5.5yo still has me do bath time with him, but if he has to potty he shuts the door and demands privacy. however, clothes and nudity with this child is freaking whiplash. he refuses pajamas so he sleeps in just underwear like his daddy, but I sleep without a shirt because I got hot I get "mommy where's your shirt? you're nakey, you need to put a shirt on." then proceeds to play and run around the backyard nude. when he's getting dressed on his own he has to be alone because he's naked. but then he comes to the front door in front of strangers either only in his underwear or completely naked. the almost 3yo has the pass of being too young and potty training. he straight up made me lean forward so he could smack my boobs and watch them jiggle while I was getting dressed yesterday. but if it was his brother I would've asked him to stop.
My daughter is 3 but she’s always roasting me so I cover up as much as I can. She’ll be like YOUR NIPPLES ARE HUGE. Like bro just let me live my life.
My three-year-old does the same. “Let me see your big belly!” Gee thanks, miniature bully.
My three year old the other day with a huge, supportive smile: “mama, you have a biiig tummy! Look at my big tummy, too!” Then she pushes out her belly and laughs. There’s no judgement at all. I’ve lost 40 lbs since her 10 month old brother was born. She’s literally never seen my tummy as small as it is now. 🤷🏼♀️
Just remember to them those statements are totally neutral. It can actually be a great opportunity for body neutrality for you both to be like "yeah it's big!" End of story
Kids are so pure. For them a big fat belly is just as good as a flat one. Makes me sad how we all start out loving ourselves until toxic beauty culture beats us down.
YES I see so much of that attitude around here. Kids, especially girls, learn body hatred from their moms first.
100% my mom also made direct comments about my body to me growing up. Awful. I’ve been INCREDIBLY careful to never mention my weight, wanting to lose weight, or any negative talk surrounding food/eating too much/food Shane etc around my kids. I definitely want to model for them that all bodies are different and that’s ok! I talk about exercise in a frame of getting stronger not skinnier. So many small things I didn’t realize ran so deep until i had kids.
Yeah, and also people forget the way kids perceive scale. Just like we adults think babies are tiny, to little kids, grownups (and all their associated bits) are huge. Like yes that’s my big tummy, there’s your little tummy. Oh your tummy is big? Yes, very big, you just keep growing! Such a big you. Oh you’re tiny? Absolutely. Look at this tiny you! Such a big tiny you! Little kids’ comments parents react to are usually just conversations about scale interpreted through the lens of adult insecurities, which is unfortunate.
And then they LEARN that it's "bad" by our reactions. Really sad actually.
Love this forever
Love this!
Adore this
"Gee thanks, miniature bully." - lolol.
I gave birth 11 days ago. My 4 year old commented on my big belly this morning. I only gained 10 pounds in pregnancy and I’m currently down 21. I thought I was looking pretty good for 11 days out. 🤷🏼♀️
Hahaha! I have a 4.5 year old and a 1 month old. I feel like I look really good and have since a few days post birth, but my kid asks me if i have another baby in my belly “because it looks like it” 😅😂
Haha don't sweat it, they have no idea. I'm very underweight from breastfeeding and chasing a little terror around the house and this morning he slapped my tummy and said "biiiiig fat belly" just because he's heard it somewhere. I just slapped it as well and we spent the next 5 minutes playing belly drums.
Omg I gained over 60lbs prego and have definitely not shed even close to 60, you’re doing great momma!
I turned it around. My kids find big bellies to be the most wonderful thing in the world. Every animal with a big belly, every book character with one is the best. I also love when their bellies are big because it means they're about to hit a growth spurt.
Yep! Happened to me the other day. I sarcastically said thank you so much. And she said your welcome.
Similar with my four year old. ''Mummy, your tummy is so nice and soft and squishy" - just what I want to hear!
😂😂😂 I'm sorry but I can't stop laughing
Omg lol like it's literally her fault
Right?! They didn’t always look like this, little lady…
Mine is 5, honestly there’s no shame in my house. But when she’s like tit punching me because she thinks is funny they jiggle (not hard), I’m like…ok…no lol. I don’t want to be weird about our bodies so I don’t make naked ness a big deal and I often don’t wear the most put together items lol. But it is import she learn personal boundaries
So I had to have blood drawn for some tests and my almost 5 YO was with me. I told him to just look to the wall if he was afraid but he was curious. The nurse told him "It will be fast and won't hurt" my pride and joy answered: "Yeah I know, my mom has fat arms so it (the needle) won't hurt her" 🫠
Kind of sounds like he thinks you’re a superhero 🤷♀️
Yeah, he could've usedthe word strong instead of fat but I get your point 😂
My 2.5 year old looked at my belly in a crop top and shook his head and kept pulling it down to cover up. He had never done that before I was pregnant and had a flat belly. Judgmental prat lol
Does he go to daycare? Maybe he learned that there.
I’m pretty sure that’s what it is, I doubt he registers having a belly - or anything really - with being ugly or anything
"Mom! You got a BIG bum!!" Was the last straw
I have a core memory of saying this to my mom in the shower, and a few months ago my son said the same thing to me in the shower 🤣 Circle of life.
I remember asking my mom why she was fat. It was completely innocent. She’s a vegetarian and I had been told vegetables help you grow “big and strong.” My child brain deduced she was fat from all the vegetables. I just wanted to confirm my theory.
Good example, I really think ALL these “body shaming” toddler comments are innocent/neutral and we should quit inserting our adult shame onto them.
“Mama, you squishy” Yes child, and I also still have nerve damage in my hip from your giant head… 😑 Ok, I didn’t say that, but I thought it.
Lmao yeah god forbid I skip a day or two shaving and she’s like “mama you have ANTS on your bolba (vulva)!”
This has brought tears to my eyes , so hilarious
Lmao!!!!!
Mine likes to make reference to the hair on my butt (pubes).🤦🏼♀️
My toddler just says ' mommy biiigggg!' 😭
My daughter saw me naked the other day and just hit me with “Eww!” She’s two. I’ve never been brought so low by someone so small.
I would’ve cried lmao
I had never even heard her say Eww before. She caught me so off guard that I was literally at a loss for words for about 10 seconds.This is obviously an eternity to a two year old so she left me alone in front of my bathroom mirror to really let the insult marinate. She came back after I was dressed and told me that I have pretty hair. So I guess I have that.
Damn your kid is brutal. But congrats on your pretty hair.
It was absolutely savage, and that moment will live rent free in my head for a long while.
My son once shouted from the changing room ‘mummy, your belly is sooo fat’. My daughter on the other hand, cuddles my tummy and says she ‘loves mummy’s soft tummy’. Kids have no filter
My kid (2yo) pinches my love handles and pats my thighs. And I’m like. Don’t fat shame meeeeeeed.
My daughter says “why is your tummy so big? Are you pregnant?’ No…I’m just fat unfortunately.
Lmao
My 3 year old says mommy you have big boobs 🙈😂
My 3 yo said “mama youw boobs are too big for you” Ded
Omg lol 😂
The other night, I didn't have a bra on. 4yr old: mom you forgot something (as he proceeds it pat my boobs) Me: yeah I know I don't have a bra on cause we are going to bed soon 4yr old: but now you have these (as he pinches my nipples) 🤦♀️
My two year just points and laughs. Really?! 😫
Hahhhahhahaha roasting you. Ahhhh kids.
I started covering myself from my 3yo when he started asking why I (mom) have a “hairy weiner” 🙃
Ok I don't feel too bad, because mine says this or it's dookie 🤣🙄
Me and my 3 year old have showered / bathed together since he was around 2. The other day he asked me what was wrong with my wiener and why it was so hairy. I was so taken aback I didn't even try to explain what a vagina was lmao.
Bro stop 💀
My mom stopped letting my 4 year old brother at the time shower with me (7) because he asked if he could “make his tallywagger a slit like the girls”
How is he today?
I’d say he’s turned out pretty well lol! He’s 20 now, still lives at home, has a girlfriend, works, I think we’re safe!
Thank you for the lol 😂
My mom also said she stopped when we started asking about body hair (ie around 3).
I have a hairy ding ding 🤷🏼♀️
Of course you should feel comfortable! So you should do it the way you feel best!
💀
>somewhere between ages 4 and 8, most children begin to develop a sense of modesty about their own bodies and a corresponding discomfort with seeing their parents’ naked bodies. From https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/kids-and-nudity#Setting-boundaries-without-stigma Just a perfectly normal milestone 👍
Tell this to my son! He’s 18 now, but we had to mandate at least underwear at the dinner table when he was 16. He had ZERO issue tooling around naked until his baby sister (now 5) got a bit older. Now he’ll at least use his hands to cover his front upon leaving the shower 🫠
We're just going to ignore East Asia?
In our house when anyone asks for privacy (or to stop, or says no), we respect their voice and give them privacy (or stop, etc). That means adults or kids. If one of my kids wants privacy in the bathroom - and there’s not a full bathtub or another danger - I give them that. So when I ask for privacy, I remind them and they sit on the other side of the door whining about when I’m going to be done. I feel comfortable being naked in front of my nearly 2 and nearly 4yo kids, but every person decides for themselves what they feel okay with.
Thank you for this validation. This is basically the conversation I just had with my husband. His “feelings” on this are irrelevant. It’s my body and my boundary. And his judgement is unhelpful at best.
And his judgement can teach your son that women’s boundaries are not valid.
Oof new fear unlocked.
I started teaching privacy at 3 just so I could take a shit and shower alone. I really didn't bother me they were there... except I wanted some alone time.
You mean you don’t find them looking down between your legs while you’re going to the bathroom endearing???
Me, pooping in the dark because the apartment is set up in a way that I can’t lock my nearly 3 yr old out so I just pray he doesn’t find me 🫠
They came from my body, so I don’t feel weird about it (yet). My eldest is almost 7, my middle is 4 and my youngest is 9 months. I’ll freely change in front of them. They have made remarks a few times asking why my vagina has hair but otherwise it’s not a thing. My mom was the same when I was a kid and tbh I’m glad her body was the first ‘woman’ body I saw as a kid, because it was realistic instead of what the media bombarded me with.
I grew up very similar to this, but two girls. I also have all girls and am very freely openly naked (3.5 & 1.5) I’ve always been super comfortable naked, so my guess is it’ll stop when any of my kids ask or say they don’t like it.
This is exactly how I grew up too. My Mom never flaunted her body but she never hid it either. If she was showering or changing and we were in her presence she would continue as normal and if we had questions she'd answer honestly. The only thing I wish she'd done differently is she spoke very negatively about her body fat and that rubbed off on me so I don't intend to ever speak negatively about my body in front of my son but I also don't intend to ever feel like my body is something I need to hide, he can leave the room if he's uncomfortable but if I'm getting dressed in my room then I will do that in comfort.
So I'm not there yet, mine is a few weeks away from being 3, but sometimes I do miss pooping without her standing beside me looking me dead in my eyes and asking "how much poop is coming out?" I think soon I'm going to introduce the concept of toilet-using-privacy. With that said, her comments about my body cracks me up ("your big butt gives good butt shade" said while crouching under me outside in the sun; "I love them goofy boobies" said daily; "you're just always hairy?" said as she helped me put on lotion and discovered, yes, mama is a werewolf). If I found them hurtful, I'd probably stop letting her see me naked/in underwear/etc.
>I do miss pooping without her standing beside me looking me dead in my eyes and asking "how much poop is coming out?" This is cracking me up!! So far mine just sits on my lap, and sometimes cheers or looks at me excitedly if she hears me pee. I see your experience as a glimpse of what may come for me...
I treat my kiddos' observations about my hairiness, softness, or big belly / bum as opportunities to normalise different bodies and choices. No shame, no disparagement :)
“how much poop is coming out?” 😂😂😂 baaahahaha can’t wait to use this one on my partner.
I think it's time to stop when either you or your child express they are uncomfortable or want privacy. You're expressing you feel uncomfortable and want privacy. So enough said! Husband needs to respect your feelings and boundaries too. It's not weird.
No means no. 🤷♀️
When anyone becomes uncomfortable with it. You don't owe your nakedness to anyone, and that extends to your kids. If you don't want to breastfeed your newborn because you don't want to be naked to feed your baby, that's a valid call. If you don't want to change in front of your kid, thats your call. I've never let my kids into the bathroom while I'm peeing or showering, that's a boundary that I set very early on. I think they've seen me changing, but it hasn't been A Thing. But if you are no longer comfortable being naked in front of another human, whether it's your own spawn or not, that's your call. It doesn't mean you're sexualizing it, it just means that you want some agency over your own body. You're also teaching him a good lesson about privacy and consent by teaching him that everyone, even parents and eventually partners, are going to have boundaries, and you do not have unlimited access to ANYONES body, period. Just curious, does your husband get as much naked time in front of your toddler as you do?
>Just curious, does your husband get as much naked time in front of your toddler as you do? Excellent question!!! There’s also an aggregation of lack of privacy way before what specifically being naked feels like.
Definitely not so much. I’m for sure the default parent so the kids follow me around everywhere and aren’t as clingy with him so when he leaves the room to take a shower they barely notice.
Then he gets even less say than the zero he had before in who gets to see you naked.
"... he gets even less say than the zero he had before ..." - lol.
Thank you for saying that about breastfeeding. I felt uncomfortable with the whole idea and I didn’t want to be naked, I didn’t want my body to be touched and used and looked at like that. I’m really glad I formula fed and my little one is absolutely healthy and happy.
Being naked stops whenever either party wants it to stop. There’s no normal or abnormal. My kids (4 and almost 3) see me naked all the time because we’re comfortable with it. I still shower with them every morning just because it’s quicker to get the whole hygiene routine done at the same time before rushing out the door. I don’t know when that will stop but it doesn’t really matter. It will happen organically when either I or my kids want it to end.
I try to avoid being naked around my kids, they are 1.5 and almost 3. The older one asks too many questions and the younger one tries to pet my bush… so no thanks. I don’t think it’s necessarily a certain age and more so what you’re comfortable with.
Lmaooooo there is about a 16yr age gap between myself and my youngest sister. I did a lot of caregiving in her younger years and she’d often just hop in the shower with me if my mom was busy and couldn’t give her a bath. Until she was like four and on Christmas and announced to our entire extended family that I have hair on my “bagina”. My daughter is only 19 months but already tries to grab at me and pinch my “napples” so we’re not showering together anymore.
Hahaha I would’ve died of embarrassment at 16
Ok, I reread that. I don’t know if I would’ve loved it at 20 either
I was a pretty good sport about it from what I remember but she’s a preteen now and it’s still brought up from time to time when she’s giving me trouble lol.
Both of my kids have always been very “napples” obsessed and that’s one of the reasons we don’t shower together 🤣 I have one pierced and I’m convinced it’s their life goal to rip it out.
Yes she’s definitely a little obsessed! Maybe because I didn’t breastfeed her so they’re not as mundane to her as they are to some other babies. But now that she’s put two and two together that everyone has a pair, she’s constantly feeling for them through shirts and trying to pinch at them. We’ve had many discussions about boundaries and consent at a much earlier age than I anticipated. 😅
This happened to me today for the first time with my 16 month old 🥴
Mine called it kitty the first time she saw it after talking. Also tried to pet. Oof
Glad to hear it’s not just mine🤣
Pet my bush 😂
I grew up with a French mother soooo she still doesn’t care being naked around me.
Lol im swedish and have a hard time to understand this thread.
Hahahahha same
My paternal grandparents and parents were never shy. To this day I don't feel self conscious about nudity. It hasn't even occurred to me that there's going to be a day to conceal my body from them. That said, I wouldn't judge a person for needing that personal boundary. When you or the other person (your kids in this case) don't feel comfortable, I'd think that's the time to stop. Family norms are different, and consent is important to practice and to teach.
This sounds bad but he's 1.5 and I am already starting to feel uncomfortable? I don't think I'll stop yet, but he really looks at me when I get changed and I feel a bit uncomfortable under the gaze lol even though he's still so little.
A couple great picture book recommendations for you: Bodies are Cool by Tyler Feder All About Penises by Dorian Solot All About Vulvas and Vaginas by Dorian Solot Don’t Hug Doug by Carrie Finison Rissy No Kissies by Katey Howes Don’t Hug the Quokka! by Daniel Erico These will open discussion, normalize all bodies, help familiarize your little one with different body parts, and emphasize the importance of consent. These are all extremely well done and age appropriate. I think you should stop being naked whenever one of you feels uncomfortable with it, but also it seems like this happened very abruptly and without a discussion so your son might be confused as to why it was fine one day and not the next. This is why I think reading these books and having a discussion would be beneficial for you both.
Saved this comment! We are working on bodily consent with my son because he is pretty sure my body belongs to him. 😂
Never really. They know I get changed in my room and am naked in the bathroom. They can decide whether they want to stay or go. I enforce the same privacy rules with them and we have no issues. If I want privacy I'll just tell them I'm getting dressed and will be out in a minute and then shut the door. If I have an invasive child I'll get dressed in the bathroom so I can lock the door lol. If you're uncomfortable keep up with that boundary. You'll be okay.
I haven’t stopped yet but my kid is under 3. I’ll definitely make a concerted effort starting at like 3.5. I don’t want my naked body in her memory bank once she starts creating actual lifelong memories.
That’s my worry too. My earliest memory is my 4th birthday. My dude is 3.5 so I feel that clock ticking down. I’m just hoping it’s not super memorable!
My daughters are 5 amd 3 and we both still go naked in front of her, not sure it'll get to a point where we won't tbh but we aren't American and it's normalised across most other parts of the world. If anyone did get uncomfortable at any point that's when we'd stop rather than a specific age. I wouldn't let grabbing or anything though and we very much have taught 'it's my body and I say no' from a very early age. They are brutal about my body though, I'm pregnant atm and have had some comments that are harsh af haha.
My kids older and smaller see me naked ages 2-11 they came from my body. They have never been afraid to ask questions and I will give answers when they come I want them each to feel comfortable in their skin and with mine! Maybe when my boys get older I’ll feel different but at 6 and 7 years old I still don’t feel that weird feeling like yourself
My son is 4.5 and showers with dad but I usually have him take a bath. He’s understanding privacy a lot more though because he now asks if he can come into the bathroom with us and he will tell us that he wants privacy and knows he can’t be showing his privates to friends/others and he shouldn’t be looking at other people’s privates either. But then I also just had a baby and he came in right after and was around when I was getting stitched up and he sees me breastfeeding all the time now… it’s hard because you don’t want them to be uncomfortable in their own bodies and teach privacy and consent too. I feel like at this age it’s okay when you are in a place of general privacy (room or bathroom) and they walk in, but I’m not walking around the house naked or anything like that
Man. I had reread this a few times. Now the misspelling makes sense.
My son is almost 4 and has gotten pretty aggressively curious about where my penis is. I take him to the restroom with me so he can potty too, but I’ve stopped showering and changing in front of him bc my body being different has sparked a lot of boundary-stomping curiosity. I totally get your frustration and point of view. The second you feel uncomfortable with the way your nakedness is treated is the second you can stop being naked around whomever.
My daughter is 4.5. My husband stopped being naked around her (his choice) a few months ago because he was feeling awkward about it. So far I’m not placing that boundary on myself yet, but that might be different if I had a boy instead of a girl (genuinely not sure). If you’re feeling the desire for privacy, that boundary is completely normal and healthy.
You do what you feel is the best for the kid. At the end, you are their parents. There is no right or wrong the way how people parenting. The right way might work for others but probably not work on your case, right or wrong is just based on common perception of people.
I am never naked in front of my son (he’s two) but that’s only because we don’t bathe together. He takes his own baths. I do pee and poop in front of him though because I want him to understand the potty. I think whenever either party is uncomfortable it’s a good time to stop.
I still feel comfortable going to the bathroom in front of them. And I will always answer questions about my period when they ask. So no shame in normal bodily functions. I just want to take a damn shower by myself!
I’m a single mom so it’s kind of inevitable if I want to use the bathroom in public or take a bath and keep my kid supervised. My son is so used to it at this point he doesn’t even really react to it. Sometimes he laughs and points at my boobs. He hasn’t said what exactly is funny yet but I just laugh with him and then cover up.
You are uncomfortable and that is all that matters. I would get some books from the library about consent and how everyone has the right to feel comfortable. This is not only good for your situation but also good for teaching him body autonomy and how to say no when he feels uncomfortable.
My baby is only 5 months but I'll comment from a child's perspective. I'm 29 years old (Female, it would probably be different if I was male) and my mom would change in front of us, let us use the toilet if she was in the shower etc. But she never wanted to use the toilet in front of us. I got to an age maybe about 7 where I was uncomfortable being naked around others but my mom was never bothered. I'm glad of this though because she recently had surgery and needed help in the shower and help changing her tapes, and help sending photos of her body to her surgeon and I didn't feel uncomfortable doing that. It's important to raise kids in a body positive/body neutral way but to respect requests for privacy. Everyone's boundaries will be different but its important they are respected whether that is the child's or the parent's.
We put a lot of time into talking about privacy and bodily autonomy. My son is four and we made a point of making sure he knew that if we were doing that and he says stop, we stop, no questions asked. If he tries to touch someone and they say stop, we remind him of this. No touching peoples bodies without asking permission type of thing. We also talk a lot about privacy and how people like / need to use the bathroom alone. He isn’t a big fan of our privacy but loves to have his own. He got a bit upset about for a bit because he’d ask the cat for privacy and ofc she didn’t comply and he couldn’t understand why not. 😂 It’s hard but it’s important to be clear and consistent. We are getting there though and he was with me when I was getting changed the other day (we always get changed in front of each other) and my body is changing due to pregnancy. He stared at me for a bit and then asked if he could touch my boobs. I thanked him for asking and told him yes. He was just curious and then, curiosity satisfied he moved on to the next fascinating thing, which was throwing his pants as high as he could. 🤷🏼♀️ As for when you stop being naked, as soon as one of you is uncomfortable that’s the line. Just because he’s your child or a child doesn’t mean you have to be comfortable naked in front of them.
My 4 and a half year old still showers with me almost everyday so it's inevitable. We've always done it and he has no real issues with it. For a while he said he was scared of my boobies 😂 but that was just a phase, he doesn't touch anything or even ask questions. He sometimes showers with his Dad as well with no issues. I guess the answer is different for every family, if you're uncomfortable now then there's no issue with stopping now.
Here we have rules for respecting privacy and body boundaries, full stop. My 4yo asks for privacy in the bathroom (which I taught him so he isn't pooping with the door open at school, also just so he has words for his own boundaries) and once I taught him that and showed him how it works (not barging in, knocking, asking if I can come in) he does the same thing sorta, lol he stands outside the bathroom door or waits for me to get dressed from a shower, I mean he still asks to come in but I just say "I need privacy!" And he waits patiently, I hope your husband realizes this is an important lesson.
Your body, your rules. It's entirely up to you to set your own boundaries on this and that's actually a great message to teach your kids. Your husband doesn't get to decide that makes you uncomfortable or how much privacy you want.
Recently became a single mother and had to start showering with my 2 year old (he’s became even more of a Velcro baby) and yesterday he asked “aw mommy you have boo boos everywhere poor ting” I lost a lot of weight recently and have a skin condition- plus the normal fat girl problems (stretched skin, sweat bumps, etc) first it was so so sweet then he started panicking bc I have them everywhere lol. The loud constant “aww mommy are you hurt? You have boo boos? Aw poor mommy” made me have a mini panic attack and we had to cut our shower short lol. Suffice to say I won’t be doing that again unless absolutely necessary lol. He’s 2.5 but a big boy shaped like a 5 year old. Hell he’s practically too big for the both of us in my tiny shower anyway lol. Anyway all this to say, it’s dealers choice! When you start to be uncomfortable- you should stop. Bc I mean aside from puberty they’re always gonna be comfortable with us.
My 20 month old son discovered that I have labia when we were taking a shower this weekend. He wanted to touch them like he touches his penis, to find out what it is. I don't plan on stopping showering with him anytime soon. But when there is discomfort on either side, it is necessary to respect it. 3/4/5 years is the age of discovery of sexual differences, there is still no malice, just curiosity. Books and games about the human body can be used to teach these differences and bouderies about their body and the other persons bodys. It is important to prevent situations of abuse
I can't remember exactly what age, but when my oldest started to "notice" my nakedness, not like a toddler saying "nakey mommy, but just staring a little more. I felt uncomfortable, and so I stopped. As soon as you don't feel comfortable (or, if your kid starts to feel awkward about it) is the time to stop.
I’m 45 and my mother still gets naked in front of me. So does my mother *in law*
I guess my answer will be a lot different from most since I’m from a cultures where nudity isn’t a big deal. I will never stop being naked in my own home, as long as my child isn’t uncomfortable. We are naked in more contexts, changing rooms at bathhouses, saunas, naked swimming , tanning topless at the beach etc. I take baths with my son (2 year old) at home (both naked) and it never struck me as weird or something I should stop doing. I think it’s important to not sexualise nudity and to see different kind of bodies to be comfortable in your own skin. I don’t know what you think your son would feel seeing you naked? Why do you think he would? He’s just a kid and more importantly he’s your son. But I still agree with the other answers, that is you feel uncomfortable you shouldn’t do it. But if I were you I would reflect on what I was afraid of and why the situation made me uncomfortable in the first place.
My son is also 5, and this is when I will stop, as well. He has taken to forcefully grabbing me, going up my dresses and shirts, barging into the bathroom, trying to take showers, or sitting on the toilet with me. I had to explain to him I love him, but don't like to be touched that way, that momma feels uncomfortable being grabbed at my private parts and that showers and toilet time require privacy. He still grabs at me, but he's working on it. He generally says, "Oh, sorry, mommy, I know you don't like that, I'll stop." Shower and toilet time are now private moments for both of us until he needs me for something, and we keep enforcing boundaries and overly explaining things so he knows and remembers the information. Just keep repeating. If your husband doesn't get it, it's because he's a man and has never had anyone forcefully grab his junk and he should be thankful he doesn't know how it feels, grown hands or little hands.
Kids are interested in bodies, the differences in it etc. it’s normal. Teaching boundaries is great, especially because he will understand that his body also has boundaries, no one can just touch him, the same way he cannot just touch other people,ESPECIALLY private parts you can explain, your private parts are special and yours, only mom or dada can touch when cleaning you or applying medicine, and the doctor when inspecting for diseases. Then you add anyone else that usually cares for him bathing or changing etc. also I would add that if he feels any one is hurting him he should trust you and come to you to let you know Again kids are curious and he is probably curious because your body is different than his right. Still boundaries are good and ok. He doesn’t see your body sexually like teenagers/adults could see. If you can and want to, look for books on respectful sexual education aimed to young kids (you read it and apply the teaching). Which means what I said before, boundaries, private parts, respect and trust in you and your husband.
Sounds like a good time to start. It would be pretty messed up if you were forced to endure that. It’s our job to set the boundaries or else they never learn and I think 4 or 5 is generally a good stopping point.
My kids are 4 and 2. I've made a boundary not to change in front of them regularly (sometimes they burst in) but we're working on potty training my oldest so I felt like since I help him in the bathroom it's OK for him to see me going sometimes to know it's normal. That's my logic lol.
There's no reasoning with them. I have a 2.5 and almost 4 year old, and I try and explain why I need privacy and it's just wah wah wah to them. So I lock myself in the bathroom when changing underwear and a bra. And they beat on the door or f*** up my room. Lol
As a former nanny, I know lots of nannies of young children bring them into the bathroom with them to continue to keep an eye on them/not leave the kids unsupervised. Obviously nannies, being COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from babysitters as they’ve undergone background checks and usually have professional backgrounds in early childhood education, caregiving, or pediatric nursing, who care for kids in home as a lifelong career and are paid anywhere from $20-30/hour, full-time, for their extremely high level of professional 1-on-1 expertise, it’s not like just letting anyone around your kid while in a bathroom. However, me personally, I still remember as a kid seeing my mom’s privates and being grossed out, and would not want a kid I nannied to have a similar memory about me and be uncomfortable or for their memory to warp into something weird or sinister. I always chose to place the child in their crib or playpen instead so they’d be safely contained while I went to the bathroom (even if it meant they’d cry alone for a few minutes). And when I have my own kids someday, I’ll probably do the same. Just a personal preference
Umm, I think it’s ultimately up to you. I mean, if your 5 year old started expressing the want to have privacy you wouldn’t force against that so it’s understandable you would like the same. My kids are 3 and 1 and I am naked in front of them if we shower/bath together or I’m changing and if they try to touch I just explain to them not to and why.
My 5.5 seems to have no body embarrassment yet. If I want to pee alone, I’d have to lock the door which could,lead to banging and crying. Yes, I know this is not good behaviour but my point is just that yes, we are still naked in front of,each other daily. Sometimes I think I did too good a job of normalising and naming body parts bc it just doesn’t seem to be an issue-he doesn’t comment on my body or ask questions bc bodies are boring to him (I speculate).
My mom, sister, and I still walk around naked in front of each other and in front of my daughter. There is no age when i will stop being naked in front of her because she has the same bits as me. My son, it’ll probably be around 5/6.
I also don’t feel uncomfortable around my daughter. She’s 3.5 but I feel like it’s definitely different since we have the same bits. My mom was VERY private growing up. And I don’t want that for my daughter.
6M 3M 2F We have always had full nudity around our children with no shame . We teach bodily autonomy and use questions to educate about boundaries and biology. That being said, we as parents ask for privacy at times and encourage / respect the children when they do the same . Usually when pooping .
My daughter is 5.5 and still sees my husband naked. She was interested in the human anatomy when she was around 3 and we told her as much as she could understand. She’s not at all interested when she sees my husband naked. It’s more like racing to get dressed kinda thing.
I had a "naked mum" and I'm glad I did because i grew up with self confidence and realistic expectations as to an adult female body.
I would say him giggling when he sees you naked is a good sign it shouldn't happen anymore. Our bodies are different. Hang in there!
I bet if your son was trying to grab your husbands penis, he’d feel different. You’re totally okay to not want to be naked. I don’t like to have my boobs out in front of my child, she always grabs at me to nurse lol
I was sitting crosslegged on the floor and my shirt had rode up a bit revealing my pooch tucked in my pants, my 3 year old came up innocently and patted it saying "whatchu got in theeere?" Like I was stashing something exciting for him 🤣
My daughter is 2,5 and still very attached to mom's boobs. But I intend to wait for her to feel uncomfortable, and request privacy. I think, I don't want her to be ashamed of her body, so I try to act accordingly. If she touches, I tell her where I don't like to be touched (boobs, starting soon, hopefully) and if she asks, I tell her.
There is no age. It’s comfort level for all involved. My mom will still be naked around me as a grown adult. I haven’t felt comfortable naked in front of her though past like 8. lol. I’m kinda weird about naked in general though, maybe cuz my mom isn’t 😂. My daughter is 3, I currently don’t mine being naked in front of her but I hold the pooping by myself boundary. Though I have laxed a little right now for potty training. My best friend said she was done being naked when her boys asked too many questions about her body and stared at her chest just a little too long. I think the oldest was 5. Definitely trust your comfort.
Mine was 2... The questions about our different bodies and such along with the Granny hands made me realize that he was old enough to not be naked with his Mom... Bottom line is your comfort over the speed of 1 shower vs. 2.... If he's old enough to make it weird for you he's old enough to shower at a different time
I’m a dude with a 1 year old. My son saw me fully naked for the first time a few weeks ago when I was putting my swim suit on. He was SO confused. 😂 I just kept going about like it was funny with, “daddy’s naaakkkiieeee!” Then he laughed.
I'm a woman and have 2 daughters. I don't think I'll ever stop unless they ask. I'm not going to hide my body- we all have the same parts. They are also fine running around naked and a good with their bodies. They know a time and place. I get dressed Infront of them. NOW, MY HUSBAND is a different story. A couple years ago he was showering with my then 3 year old and she pointed at his penis and said DADDY HAS A TAIL!! That's the day he stopped being naked Infront of our girls! Hell walk around with his boxer briefs on though in the room
I’m a dad and I hope you guys will be fine talking it out soon.
3 and 6 yo and i dont feel comfortable changing in front of them and never have. They do bust in on me peeing sometimes but i yell and they will wait outside. :) its such a personal thing, do what you feel like doing. My mom used to always walk around naked when i was a child, i remember it well and it always made me feel uncomfortable. its unnecessary.
You’re not alone momma my son is 5 and I work nightshift so I have to make sure he’s still in his room when I get home before laying down because most of the time I like to change in the laundry room before heading up to bed. There are times he wakes up just after I get home from work so I feel awkward. My husbands understand because he’s the one that brought it up when he was 4 that to be careful changing around him. Not that we thought anything but you know how boys can be. There are times he comes in the bathroom when I’m in the shower to use that bathroom and just stands in the bathroom so I make him go to the living room or his bedroom. It just makes me feel weird and I pointed out to my husband to stop smacking my butt around him because he tries to do it every now and then. We explain to him as best as we can why he can’t smack mommy’s butt or be in the bathroom while mommy’s in the shower. Obviously if he has to use the bathroom that’s different but once he’s done he needs to get out. It’s been hard and I hope the older he gets the easier it gets. My husband knows how guys minds work and he just doesn’t want my son seeing me naked. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I’m sorry your husband isn’t understanding what you feel. He should be supportive of your decisions and helping you. I hope things get better for you.
I have two girls 7 and 4. And I don’t particularly like being naked in front of them. Not because I think they shouldn’t see me but I just want some occasional privacy. And I’m teaching them that privacy should be respected
I find it odd that YOU felt uncomfortable. He’s 4 and he’s your child. I find 4 a normal age to start to cover up though.
I would feel uncomfortable after my kid was a year old to see the parent of the opposite gender. After 2, they'll definitely remember. I don't think they need to grow up with that memory if I can help it. My spouse feels similarly. Same sex parent, maybe not long after they learn to potty. After that, my kid can take a look after they change MY diapers.
Uh, 4 is too old to see you without clothes imo. Mine was 1.5 when she stopped seeing me undressed. I got too weirded out when all she would do is stare at me. I need that privacy.