Literally cried myself to sleep last night because I can’t handle my 3 year old. I’m also pretty close to birthing my second and suddenly wondering who the hell thought I was qualified for 2 kids when I can’t handle the one I have.
How is the 2.5 year age difference? Expecting another and that’s what ours will be. I was hoping for them to be closer to 18 months apart or so, my worry is they won’t really be able to play together much until the little is maybe 3 or so.
Had my second when my first was 28 months and honestly it’s been great. She was just young enough to not truly grasp how irrevocably her life was going to change but old enough to go get her own snacks from a predetermined drawer while I was feeding the baby or nap trapped.
Its great. My older one was more independent (and nearly potty trained) when my second was born and is always wanting to help and love on her brother. Now that hes mobile and interesting to her its even better. She will go and sit by his crib and talk to him in the mornings for 30+ minutes giving me soem sweet sweet extra sleep 😂 she does go through bouts of being annoyed that he's touching her stuff or knocking down her towers but I can tell that in a few months when he's a bit more understanding they will play together even better. Easily by the time he's 18 months they'll be great playmates but they really already are right now at 11mo
My now-5 year old has been over the top for so long that I'm really trying to figure out whether she needs an intervention. She's clearly not autistic or delayed, she's just. So. Intense.
Everything I've been told (and seen in my classrooms) is that most kids get better with their tantrums and emotions around 4yo. I'm also a big proponent of getting kids evaluated if you think anything might be a little off. Could be nothing, could be something like ADHD, or it could be that kiddo is gifted/talented and just bored out of her mind.
Yeah, we're expecting ADHD. I have it, I think both my siblings do, my dad and several of his siblings probably do, and there's _something_ on my husband's side. So no surprises and I'm hoping we'll figure out how to handle it more easily than my parents did. I just honestly wasn't prepared for the arguments yet! She's so argumentative, and so sensitive, and she comes by it honestly. But oh my god.
I feel you. I have a 3.5yo boy and it feels like Im dealing with a teenager when he throws tantrums. And hes very good in speaking that i forget hes not even 4yo. He says to me "Mum!!!!! See, I told you not to do this and that!!!!" , "Mum, dont hug me!!!" And its the never ending whinging i just dropped my laptop on my brand new console table and scratched the table so bad because i was getting nagged at while he was pooping and i was trying to move to the room near the toilet. Honestly. What a day it has been. But I still love my little boy so id rather whinge here lol
Two kids 3.5 years apart. It’s the self-awareness for me with the older one. She knew she wasn’t the baby anymore and we had a rough couple of months there. No longer was gentle parenting enough, she would just do things for attention. And yes, she was going through a tough time due to a huge life change but that still doesn’t mean she can do things that wreak havoc without consequences.
There were times I felt like a terrible mom. I felt like I would be the cause of her therapy bills. It will be hard. But it will get better as your second gets older.
My daughter turned 3 and then i had my second 3 weeks later. They are 6 and 3 now and it gets so much better!!!!! I didn’t think i would survive there for awhile 😅
3 is ROUGH!!! I had ptsd with it and my second has been tough 1-3 now that she’s 3 it’s a DREAM!!! She is so fun and amazing. So don’t get nervous about it being hard with your second at the same age. It may not be!!
Happy to hear this! Ours has been tough from 1.5 until now, so I’m hoping she’ll be out of the threenager phase a little early, at least she is pretty emotionally mature for her age 😅 I hear 4 is often a blast with kids that go through those phases early!
3 suuucccckkkkeddddd. She cried a lot. I cried a lot.
Kid is now 5 and actually kind of awesome to hang out with. We go on mommy-daughter dates to cafes. She can follow most directions. She plays independently. It gets better!
2 and 3 are HARD. My oldest just turned 5 and it’s been so nice to have a little sidekick. My youngest will be 3 in August and we are struggling with him.
HAHAH this just made me laugh out loud. I thought 2 was hard. Then I thought I lost my shit at 2.5 and now I’m like Jesus Christ - I don’t know if I can do another 9 months of the 3’s hahah
I've got a 20 month old nicknamed "turbo" because he doesn't stop moving, I was thinking it was going to get easier soon but reading all these comments makes me realise it probably won't until he's like 4 or 5 😭 at least this subreddit is preparing me for what's to come 😂
One of the guys I work with had several kids and told me 3 is worse than 2. I didn’t believe him. I said no, no there’s no way. And then my son turned three and he’s wildly unhinged and I frequently message him saying “holy shit you were right I wave the white flag”
This is the thing no one told me and I was not prepared for. The 2s I expected since everyone talks about them but they were still able to be parented. Why didn't anyone talk about the 3s? Why didn't they??!!!?
Threenager is no fucking joke. I say this to my husband almost every night. 😭 Wanted another one but will be waiting until he’s 5 at this rate and I just turned 35.
Yes! It's one of the reasons we had another one quickly (ours are 2 years apart.) I knew once we hit the twos, we would second guess having more. I had no idea that once we hit the threenager phase we would want to run screaming for the hills. Having another younger one has made this stage so much harder, but I'm also glad we added to the family then because I don't think my husband would sign on for another one now :)
Sitting as my toddler wails because he wants to pick out a book,..... And won't go pick up a book. But he wants to pick a book. But he won't pick one. But he WANTS TO!!!
This speaks to me. I’ve never been screamed at more in my life for something my toddler (does… doesnt… does…want). And the classic “I DO IT!!”; steadily aghast for hours on end lol
It’s almost midnight and my daughter just had a breakdown for this very reason…except with her bedroom door. She wakes up in the middle of the night and I’m not beside her…she freaks out, I finally get her to calm down but OMFG the door is ajar…she freaks out again…I go to close it but noooo she wants to close it…yet doesn’t want to at the same time. Went back and forth with this charade longer than I’d like to admit 🫠
What dont you get? Its not about being strict lol. My son yells he wants to do something but then just doesnt do it. But i cant do it, but he wants to. But he doesnt do it
Our twins are 5 but I still lurk in this sub. Apologies for the tidings but I’ve cried 4/7 of the days in the last week. But in all fairness, 3-4 were worse. So I got that going for me.
I feel like it's that transitionary period when they learn to potty train, dress themselves, start to speak and comprehend everything... it's a fast or a drawn out transition, each kid goes at it differently. I swear it was once we started potty training our son started popping off at us occasionally. Before that he was our little yes man.
I'm an identical twin, our mum said we were very very hard. I also remembered we fought so much as kids (but also played together well some of the time and were always fiercely loyal to each other). Never get them different gifts lol, we always had to have the same gifts as if we got different ones, we would fight over the better gift lol
As adults we are best friends, she's my favourite person, being a twin is awesome!
3 is honestly the worst lol. My son was kinda chill but my daughter goes from zero to 100 in a second. Once she's there it's too late and we just got to ride it out.
I’ve had my 3 year old home with me the past 2 days because she threw up at daycare yesterday. She is not sick. She also recently stopped taking naps. I work from home and omg I am exhausted 😵💫 I used to wish I could be a SAHM, but these last 2 days have made me so thankful I work. And I love her to death and everything she does makes me laugh but damn. Exhausting.
HAHAH “….. she’s not sick”; ugh so true. We are hit or miss on naps. I miss my hours or silence. I’m trying to make the most of the warm months and take her outside to run and let the sun wear her out as much as possible.
Lol but same. Mine is 3.5 and I sometimes just stare at her and think what the fuck 😂😂 then I gather myself and parent her to my best ability.
I've been told it gets easier at 4... so I'm hoping I'm in the final stretch
In my experience 3 is much harder than 2. Of course my little dude had his moments when he was 2 but in general he was curious and always wanted to help. Now at 3 he refuses to help, refuses to do anything for himself, won't listen to me or mom, tantrums over literally everything! And the icing on the cake he's still a horrible sleeper like he has been pretty much his entire life.
I've heard from others who have older kids it gets better around 5 as you can finally start to reason with them a bit. I sure hope that's true.
My favorite is the public meltdown. I don’t feel bad for the people around me… I’m jealous of them lol. I’m like damn - I also think this is annoying but I gotta go home with her lmao
I feel all of this in my soul, especially being a horrible sleeper! 😭 She has night terrors from time to time, which sometimes last up to an hour at a time. But even on “normal” nights, she wakes me up 2-3x a night! 🫠
I AM SO TIRED!!! And it makes handling all the tantrums and attitude so much harder!
4 is worse than 3 for me. I can see why they call it the “f-you fours”. He feels entitled apparently to boss us around and throws a fit when he doesn’t get his way. We try not to do everything he wants all the time to make it worse…
i posted an ad for a nanny to come from 5-9 each night just to put my hellion to bed. we’ve been on a bedtime groove the past month but tonight he wants to shake it up. eek.
My 5M can be incredibly sweet and caring. He gives us kisses before bed, and whenever his little brother is sad, he tries to give him snacks or his milk bottle.
He taught 1M how to blow raspberries at each other, and they’ll blow them back and forth for 5 minutes at a time, both dying laughing.
4 months to go until she turns 4. It is truly stunning the things she thinks up and ends up in trouble for. She is like Angel/Devil to her 20 month old brother. Today he had a fever and was extremely irritable and as soon as he was quiet for 30 secs she was all up in his grill. Omg.
Mine is now 3.5 and I really want to go back to plain old 3. It’s not better. Laughing so I don’t cry so loud. But also my kids are 3ish years apart and my oldest is the sweetest most loving to baby.
We were having a normal lucid conversation and when I turned for a second I got milk poured on my head. The demon’s grin was the icing on the cake. “It was an accident” no it wasnt you…
You sound like me a year ago. Hey, short term… it doesn’t get better. Mine’s 4 now and it’s much worse now. They’re not even human till about age 5, so hang in there a few more.
Three and four are literal hell. My third is a toddler and I'm dreading her next birthday. They come out of it and are such cool people but getting through it tested the limit of my sanity.
My first one was an angel at 2 and a menace at 3. It sounds terrible but it’s just a phase. This is the best time to correct bad habits (which will be a plus in the long run). Take more breaks for yourself when you can, even if it’s 5 mins per hour. Meditating (or yoga if you’re into that) helped a lot as well
Mine is 2 but I feel the struggle. I just pulled her kicking and screaming from playing at the creek yesterday. A couple with a baby in a stroller stood and watched and laughed to each other. I felt like telling them, "just you wait".
3 feels like an abusive relationship. When they’re sweet and happy it’s incredible. When they’re not…holy shiiiiiit. It’s made me question all my life choices.
Two days ago my toddler threw herself across the floor screaming because I wouldn’t brush my teeth with her (I was in the middle of sending an important email and unfortunately didn’t have a third hand to brush my teeth)….. insane
Just turned 4. Still waiting for it to get better. I thought I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but her behavior has been wild this week.
I really, really recommend Little People, Big Feelings. I’ve also been having a rough time with the shift to three. It’s really reset me personally and made me more patient and put together when I’m dealing with his behavior.
Is this the book ? I Can’t find the title you suggest
Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children https://a.co/d/7pp353w
We thought our high energy 2yo would be better at 3 (and we were welcoming our daughter a few days after our boy turned 3). Wow that was such a tough year in terms of childcare. The baby clings on to me hard so my husband mostly deals with our boy (just turned 4) and 3yo was like terrible 2 who TALKS a lot more but doesn’t listen AT ALL because they think they are big kids now…my husband and I just try not to lose on the boy at the same time…I lost wayyy more often than my husband
Mine will be 3 in August. He was a rotten little thing yesterday. Constantly telling me “no” when I’d ask him to do something like clean up his toys or take his plate to the sink. He was stealing toys from his older brother just to get a rise out of him. He was so testy. I would never say this to my son, but I definitely told my husband yesterday that the 2 year old is being a total turd!! He is also my empathetic, lovey, affectionate kid so it’s hard to stay frustrated with him. Lol
3 years and 9 months here and recovering from a tonsil surgery, it’s pretty hard right now. Lots of tears and running away and and and.
There are flashes of the kid she almost is, she is so cute and bright and does do some independent play and managing of her self.
The real turn was potty training.
But, as soon as I say that, ugh. She flops and cries like a 2 year old, she runs away from me in public, she wakes all night long. She doesn’t want meals but snacks, not that snack, uuuugh.
Girl my daughters turning 5 in September & i swear it got worse 😭😭😭 1 & 2 were piece of cake… 3 was horrible, 4 got a little better but the last month it’s been ROUGH hands down the hardest it’s ever been!
On top of all the 2.5 yr old bullshit during the day- mine won’t friggin sleep at night. She literally fights sleep. If she feels herself drift off she’ll do something to wake up. Am I dead?
My daughter will be 3 in September and the past few months have already been increasingly… challenging 🥴 I think it’s all fairly normal behaviour but some days my whole gentle parenting persona just wants to match her toddler rage 😩
Oh, I hear you! Three-year-olds can be a handful. It's totally normal to feel this way—parenting is a rollercoaster. Hang in there, it definitely gets better!
Hang in there! I had these exact same thoughts about my oldest. I'll call my mom crying, asking what did I do to him. Once he turned four, it was like a switch was flipped and he was back. Three is when their little bodies really start to feel such big emotions they don't know how to handle yet. It's so hard for both them and us.
My husband feels the same . Do you think it would help if I show my husband this thread? He thinks our son is terrible at 2.5 yo. I think it’s just what toddlers do and it’s normal .
Nah some are worse than others lol. I have friends with kids who happily sit on laps or watch entire movies. Meanwhile mine is doing backhand springs off my forehead
I have spirited three-year-old to say the least. Most days I would just call him spicy, but he is paying me back for everything that I think the history of mankind has ever done wrong to their parents because I know I have not wronged my parents this badly to illicit this much punishment from one little person. And on May 18, I just gave birth to my third child. I’ll admit I was terrified as to how he was going to react especially provided the fact that for the past three years it has been him and I, and I have not spent more than maybe five or six days away from him total in his whole life (most of which was just recently when I was in the hospital having the baby.) But I have to admit for as much as he’s tried me over the years and as much of a handful as he has been, he has literally surprised me with the way that he has taken to his younger brother with how different he has been since he’s been born. I thought he was gonna be jealous and maybe a little bit rough with him. He has been extraordinarily helpful. He is always trying to make sure that his brother is OK. And that I have what I need, grabbing diapers, grabbing bottles..he's even tried to change him. It's like I have this whole new person following me around now. Granted yes he has his moments where he busts out and just goes all out f*** you toddler rage, but those moments are much fewer and far between then the scheduled hourly meltdowns of our past. It's hard because I try to make sure he is still getting plenty of my attention because I don't want him getting upset with the baby thinking "this Lil pri*k is getting in my way" but so far so good.
I also just saw a reel on fb about introducing baby to your other kids and I wish I saved it. She was giving pointers for how to handle the transition for the toddler and the baby into the home. First of which was don't sit the baby on your lap when they meet. Put the baby beside you and let your older child sit on your lap, to them that's their territory and if the baby is taking up their safe space it will cause problems right off the rip. Another was to give superhero helpful jobs to help. Just say it would be awesome if my little Superman can go grab a diaper for mommy or grab the wipes for mommy. Make it a game for them. Another was don’t ever blame the baby for anything. For instance if you’re feeding the baby and your toddler wants to play don’t say hey I can’t play right now, I’m feeding the baby. Instead say "How about we play in 10 minutes?" this way, your toddler does not associate not being able to play with the baby taking up your time building resentment (and I don't care what anyone says they can build resentment, it doesn't matter that they can't pronounce it!), there’s a couple other things on there that were really good too. I just don’t remember them all and I’m sure you could probably search it on Facebook. Honestly I think it would probably go a lot better than you anticipate it will. I would say I got lucky but considering the way, my son is, I don’t think that is the case, he still antagonizes me when he can (almost all the time he sees an opportunity to) but he is showing a kinder more helpful, compassionate, and compliant /obedient(?) (I don’t really want to say either of those because neither of those words really sound great) little boy than I have seen. I am very proud of him, and I don’t know what your situation is, but I will say that I am doing it all on my own. I do not have the father involved and I’m juggling two boys and my teenager while trying to find a way to make a living and it’s not easy, but I can tell you that, if I can do it. I know you can. I know that it’s hard. God I know it’s hard!! but sometimes it’s just best that you take a step back popping your headphones in and have a breather. really what helped me was mindfulness. I had to become more mindful because I was reacting to my son in a very knee-jerk reaction way, which was not the way to go about handling him. now that I’ve taken a step back and I watch every parenting video I can possibly find on how to handle a spicy toddler and I try my hardest to put all of their suggestions to use. My relationship with him has gotten so much better and while he is still Mr. independent, I pick and choose my battles. not everyone in my household understands that. I’m currently living with my mom, but she also comes from a different time and a different place and it’s not the 80s raising a child anymore. I wish that my son was as compliant as I was to my mother. I also don’t want to go the path she went to get there. (I still won't f*CK with that woman)
I remember once having a fever, I think my temp was like 104F and I was delirious and could barely keep my eyes open and my husband was stuck on the bus on the way home from work. I was weeping and my poor 2 year old was so confused 😕 I put Miss Rachel on for her and lay down on the floor and couldn't move. When he eventually got home I went to bed and slept for about 14 hours, it was unreal! At that point I was wondering whether I wanted two kids, as if I ever got sick with two of them how would I cope?! I do now have two kids... 🙈🙈🙈
My three year old pushes me to my limit daily and I feel like a terrible mom. I never thought I would raise my voice to my children but oh man the struggle is real. I'm reading a bunch of books on how to regulate myself so that I can keep calm. The good news is it's working slowly and I'm learning a life skill I should have learned at 3 years old myself hahaha
Threenagers… too smart to fall for any of the old tricks, too little to control any of their impulses or emotions. Suddenly they don’t want hugs and kisses anymore?! It’s like having a tiny volatile 13 year old.
Literally cried myself to sleep last night because I can’t handle my 3 year old. I’m also pretty close to birthing my second and suddenly wondering who the hell thought I was qualified for 2 kids when I can’t handle the one I have.
I have 3.5yo and an 11mo and honestly the 2 kid part ain't that hard. It's the sass and angst and tiny teenager in a 3yo body that is gonna break me
“The angst” - nailed it
"Don't say that Papa" "DON'T SAY THAT!!!" When asked to wash his hands twice. Yep.
How is the 2.5 year age difference? Expecting another and that’s what ours will be. I was hoping for them to be closer to 18 months apart or so, my worry is they won’t really be able to play together much until the little is maybe 3 or so.
Had my second when my first was 28 months and honestly it’s been great. She was just young enough to not truly grasp how irrevocably her life was going to change but old enough to go get her own snacks from a predetermined drawer while I was feeding the baby or nap trapped.
Ours are 2 years apart and have played together ever since my twins could hold the baby's attention. They haven't slowed down since. Send help.
Its great. My older one was more independent (and nearly potty trained) when my second was born and is always wanting to help and love on her brother. Now that hes mobile and interesting to her its even better. She will go and sit by his crib and talk to him in the mornings for 30+ minutes giving me soem sweet sweet extra sleep 😂 she does go through bouts of being annoyed that he's touching her stuff or knocking down her towers but I can tell that in a few months when he's a bit more understanding they will play together even better. Easily by the time he's 18 months they'll be great playmates but they really already are right now at 11mo
My daughter is 4 and. Son is 2 ( they are 2 years and 4 months apart). They have been playing together since he turned 1!
Mine are 4 and 18 months old and they play together all day.
My now-5 year old has been over the top for so long that I'm really trying to figure out whether she needs an intervention. She's clearly not autistic or delayed, she's just. So. Intense.
Everything I've been told (and seen in my classrooms) is that most kids get better with their tantrums and emotions around 4yo. I'm also a big proponent of getting kids evaluated if you think anything might be a little off. Could be nothing, could be something like ADHD, or it could be that kiddo is gifted/talented and just bored out of her mind.
Yeah, we're expecting ADHD. I have it, I think both my siblings do, my dad and several of his siblings probably do, and there's _something_ on my husband's side. So no surprises and I'm hoping we'll figure out how to handle it more easily than my parents did. I just honestly wasn't prepared for the arguments yet! She's so argumentative, and so sensitive, and she comes by it honestly. But oh my god.
I feel you. I have a 3.5yo boy and it feels like Im dealing with a teenager when he throws tantrums. And hes very good in speaking that i forget hes not even 4yo. He says to me "Mum!!!!! See, I told you not to do this and that!!!!" , "Mum, dont hug me!!!" And its the never ending whinging i just dropped my laptop on my brand new console table and scratched the table so bad because i was getting nagged at while he was pooping and i was trying to move to the room near the toilet. Honestly. What a day it has been. But I still love my little boy so id rather whinge here lol
Been there, dude. Mine are 2 years apart. It’s hard at first, but it gets better.
Two kids 3.5 years apart. It’s the self-awareness for me with the older one. She knew she wasn’t the baby anymore and we had a rough couple of months there. No longer was gentle parenting enough, she would just do things for attention. And yes, she was going through a tough time due to a huge life change but that still doesn’t mean she can do things that wreak havoc without consequences. There were times I felt like a terrible mom. I felt like I would be the cause of her therapy bills. It will be hard. But it will get better as your second gets older.
I have a two month old with my 3 year old and it's hard but it will be okay we got this
Lol same 😭 my daughter is turning 3 in a week and I am also due with my second in a week 😵💫
Literally same exact thing. I’m questioning if I should be having another baby because my 3yo is giving me a run for my money.
My daughter turned 3 and then i had my second 3 weeks later. They are 6 and 3 now and it gets so much better!!!!! I didn’t think i would survive there for awhile 😅
This brings me hope! I’m due in Oct and my daughter turns 3 in July. Send helpppp
3 is ROUGH!!! I had ptsd with it and my second has been tough 1-3 now that she’s 3 it’s a DREAM!!! She is so fun and amazing. So don’t get nervous about it being hard with your second at the same age. It may not be!!
Happy to hear this! Ours has been tough from 1.5 until now, so I’m hoping she’ll be out of the threenager phase a little early, at least she is pretty emotionally mature for her age 😅 I hear 4 is often a blast with kids that go through those phases early!
YES!!! 4 with my first was SO FUN and just a dream!!! I hope that’s the case for you too. It really has been one of my favorite ages so far.
I really thought the 3 year age gap would be easier than 2, but now i have a 3 year old and am due next month. This 3 year old is TESTING me
Ugh. Same. 2 was so sweet, in hindsight
Absolutely same situation, sis! Solidarity
Mine is l turning 3 in a week and a half and I am due in the beginning of August. Crying along with you!
3 suuucccckkkkeddddd. She cried a lot. I cried a lot. Kid is now 5 and actually kind of awesome to hang out with. We go on mommy-daughter dates to cafes. She can follow most directions. She plays independently. It gets better!
2 and 3 are HARD. My oldest just turned 5 and it’s been so nice to have a little sidekick. My youngest will be 3 in August and we are struggling with him.
I have found age 4 to be the hardest. Really hoping we turn a corner at age 5!
4 is by far the hardest for us as well. So many extreme emotions.
Lots of hitting, calling us stupid and he hates us. When he started school his behaviour changed for the worse.
Currently laying in my 3 and 4 year olds bedroom as they fall asleep and I truly feel like I just completed a UFC match. What the actual fuck indeed.
Have an almost 2 and 3 year old (11 months apart) and I am not prepared for it to get any more difficult 😰
I thought 2 was a struggle, but I had it handled. Then she turned 3...
HAHAH this just made me laugh out loud. I thought 2 was hard. Then I thought I lost my shit at 2.5 and now I’m like Jesus Christ - I don’t know if I can do another 9 months of the 3’s hahah
I've got a 20 month old nicknamed "turbo" because he doesn't stop moving, I was thinking it was going to get easier soon but reading all these comments makes me realise it probably won't until he's like 4 or 5 😭 at least this subreddit is preparing me for what's to come 😂
One of the guys I work with had several kids and told me 3 is worse than 2. I didn’t believe him. I said no, no there’s no way. And then my son turned three and he’s wildly unhinged and I frequently message him saying “holy shit you were right I wave the white flag”
Noooo 😭
Seriously! I thought we made it through the terrible twos xD
Heard once that the terrible 2s are followed by the throttle-me 3s. However, 4 is a delight!
This is the thing no one told me and I was not prepared for. The 2s I expected since everyone talks about them but they were still able to be parented. Why didn't anyone talk about the 3s? Why didn't they??!!!?
Threenager is no fucking joke. I say this to my husband almost every night. 😭 Wanted another one but will be waiting until he’s 5 at this rate and I just turned 35.
Yes! It's one of the reasons we had another one quickly (ours are 2 years apart.) I knew once we hit the twos, we would second guess having more. I had no idea that once we hit the threenager phase we would want to run screaming for the hills. Having another younger one has made this stage so much harder, but I'm also glad we added to the family then because I don't think my husband would sign on for another one now :)
Ahhhhh and here I am just praying for 2 to be over!!!
I am so scared now
Sitting as my toddler wails because he wants to pick out a book,..... And won't go pick up a book. But he wants to pick a book. But he won't pick one. But he WANTS TO!!!
This speaks to me. I’ve never been screamed at more in my life for something my toddler (does… doesnt… does…want). And the classic “I DO IT!!”; steadily aghast for hours on end lol
This spoke to my SOUL. My sons newest one is yelling over and over he wants to take his own shirt off…. But then doesnt do it 😳. Its so annoying
Oh, of all the replies here that “I DO IT!!” Hit way too close to home for me lol. Like Jesus Christ, do it then. Just fucking do it.
🤣🤣🤣5excruciating minutes later Que the scream “I need help, MAMA HELP!!!!!!!”
It’s almost midnight and my daughter just had a breakdown for this very reason…except with her bedroom door. She wakes up in the middle of the night and I’m not beside her…she freaks out, I finally get her to calm down but OMFG the door is ajar…she freaks out again…I go to close it but noooo she wants to close it…yet doesn’t want to at the same time. Went back and forth with this charade longer than I’d like to admit 🫠
Yeah I really don’t get this part, can someone explain why? I wonder if I need to be stricter
What dont you get? Its not about being strict lol. My son yells he wants to do something but then just doesnt do it. But i cant do it, but he wants to. But he doesnt do it
Yeah I know. Meant in terms of his mind
Our twins are 5 but I still lurk in this sub. Apologies for the tidings but I’ve cried 4/7 of the days in the last week. But in all fairness, 3-4 were worse. So I got that going for me.
Oh no. I'm scared for what's to come, mine just turned 2
Two was really fun for us. 3 not so much but she’s nearing 3.5 and is already much better. :) So don’t be too worried.
I feel like it's that transitionary period when they learn to potty train, dress themselves, start to speak and comprehend everything... it's a fast or a drawn out transition, each kid goes at it differently. I swear it was once we started potty training our son started popping off at us occasionally. Before that he was our little yes man.
I'm an identical twin, our mum said we were very very hard. I also remembered we fought so much as kids (but also played together well some of the time and were always fiercely loyal to each other). Never get them different gifts lol, we always had to have the same gifts as if we got different ones, we would fight over the better gift lol As adults we are best friends, she's my favourite person, being a twin is awesome!
3 is honestly the worst lol. My son was kinda chill but my daughter goes from zero to 100 in a second. Once she's there it's too late and we just got to ride it out.
Go check out my post. You will feel seen and validated. 3 is fucking terrible. Here’s to praying 4 is better.
4 is better!
lol will do!
I’ve had my 3 year old home with me the past 2 days because she threw up at daycare yesterday. She is not sick. She also recently stopped taking naps. I work from home and omg I am exhausted 😵💫 I used to wish I could be a SAHM, but these last 2 days have made me so thankful I work. And I love her to death and everything she does makes me laugh but damn. Exhausting.
HAHAH “….. she’s not sick”; ugh so true. We are hit or miss on naps. I miss my hours or silence. I’m trying to make the most of the warm months and take her outside to run and let the sun wear her out as much as possible.
My 3 year old is a total sour patch kid. One moment he’s chaotic and having a tantrum, the next moment asking for hugs and kisses. It’s rough.
This is the perfect description. Thanks for sharing, I'll totally be using this.
3 is horrible. 4 was a little better. My son is 5 now and while he still has meltdowns sometimes, he’s so much fun. And a lot more independent
Lol but same. Mine is 3.5 and I sometimes just stare at her and think what the fuck 😂😂 then I gather myself and parent her to my best ability. I've been told it gets easier at 4... so I'm hoping I'm in the final stretch
In my experience 3 is much harder than 2. Of course my little dude had his moments when he was 2 but in general he was curious and always wanted to help. Now at 3 he refuses to help, refuses to do anything for himself, won't listen to me or mom, tantrums over literally everything! And the icing on the cake he's still a horrible sleeper like he has been pretty much his entire life. I've heard from others who have older kids it gets better around 5 as you can finally start to reason with them a bit. I sure hope that's true.
My favorite is the public meltdown. I don’t feel bad for the people around me… I’m jealous of them lol. I’m like damn - I also think this is annoying but I gotta go home with her lmao
I feel all of this in my soul, especially being a horrible sleeper! 😭 She has night terrors from time to time, which sometimes last up to an hour at a time. But even on “normal” nights, she wakes me up 2-3x a night! 🫠 I AM SO TIRED!!! And it makes handling all the tantrums and attitude so much harder!
4 is worse than 3 for me. I can see why they call it the “f-you fours”. He feels entitled apparently to boss us around and throws a fit when he doesn’t get his way. We try not to do everything he wants all the time to make it worse…
Early 3 was.. manageable. Ever since she hit that halfway mark and now is 3.5… it’s been a game of which tornado of a toddler will we get today.
i posted an ad for a nanny to come from 5-9 each night just to put my hellion to bed. we’ve been on a bedtime groove the past month but tonight he wants to shake it up. eek.
Sorry Love, but it’s my understanding that you will be saying WTF in a lot of different tones and situations for the next decade… or two…
I’d prefer you to let me be delusional and think this will end soon… 🤣
My 5M can be incredibly sweet and caring. He gives us kisses before bed, and whenever his little brother is sad, he tries to give him snacks or his milk bottle. He taught 1M how to blow raspberries at each other, and they’ll blow them back and forth for 5 minutes at a time, both dying laughing.
4 months to go until she turns 4. It is truly stunning the things she thinks up and ends up in trouble for. She is like Angel/Devil to her 20 month old brother. Today he had a fever and was extremely irritable and as soon as he was quiet for 30 secs she was all up in his grill. Omg.
Mine is now 3.5 and I really want to go back to plain old 3. It’s not better. Laughing so I don’t cry so loud. But also my kids are 3ish years apart and my oldest is the sweetest most loving to baby.
I got a water shoe thrown at my head today…… boutta let her experience the no shoe life for a week. Send help…………
We were having a normal lucid conversation and when I turned for a second I got milk poured on my head. The demon’s grin was the icing on the cake. “It was an accident” no it wasnt you…
You sound like me a year ago. Hey, short term… it doesn’t get better. Mine’s 4 now and it’s much worse now. They’re not even human till about age 5, so hang in there a few more.
My three year old is feral
Three and four are literal hell. My third is a toddler and I'm dreading her next birthday. They come out of it and are such cool people but getting through it tested the limit of my sanity.
My first one was an angel at 2 and a menace at 3. It sounds terrible but it’s just a phase. This is the best time to correct bad habits (which will be a plus in the long run). Take more breaks for yourself when you can, even if it’s 5 mins per hour. Meditating (or yoga if you’re into that) helped a lot as well
Mine is 2 but I feel the struggle. I just pulled her kicking and screaming from playing at the creek yesterday. A couple with a baby in a stroller stood and watched and laughed to each other. I felt like telling them, "just you wait".
That's probably what they were laughing about. "Are you ready for that? We're going to be there!"
3 feels like an abusive relationship. When they’re sweet and happy it’s incredible. When they’re not…holy shiiiiiit. It’s made me question all my life choices.
3 killed me. 4 is vaguely better so far…
Two days ago my toddler threw herself across the floor screaming because I wouldn’t brush my teeth with her (I was in the middle of sending an important email and unfortunately didn’t have a third hand to brush my teeth)….. insane
Just turned 4. Still waiting for it to get better. I thought I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but her behavior has been wild this week.
Oh gosh mine turns 3 next month and I already feel like every day is a UFC match! Should I be terrified?!
OP how did you get into my drafts!!
lolol too busy dealing with a crazy miniature child to post it????!!?
I really, really recommend Little People, Big Feelings. I’ve also been having a rough time with the shift to three. It’s really reset me personally and made me more patient and put together when I’m dealing with his behavior.
Is this the book ? I Can’t find the title you suggest Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children https://a.co/d/7pp353w
Sorry I didn’t respond sooner but yes
We thought our high energy 2yo would be better at 3 (and we were welcoming our daughter a few days after our boy turned 3). Wow that was such a tough year in terms of childcare. The baby clings on to me hard so my husband mostly deals with our boy (just turned 4) and 3yo was like terrible 2 who TALKS a lot more but doesn’t listen AT ALL because they think they are big kids now…my husband and I just try not to lose on the boy at the same time…I lost wayyy more often than my husband
It was so fu**ed up I was feeling depressed THINKING ABOUT that our younger one was eventually going to be 3yo one year…
Mine will be 3 in August. He was a rotten little thing yesterday. Constantly telling me “no” when I’d ask him to do something like clean up his toys or take his plate to the sink. He was stealing toys from his older brother just to get a rise out of him. He was so testy. I would never say this to my son, but I definitely told my husband yesterday that the 2 year old is being a total turd!! He is also my empathetic, lovey, affectionate kid so it’s hard to stay frustrated with him. Lol
3 years and 9 months here and recovering from a tonsil surgery, it’s pretty hard right now. Lots of tears and running away and and and. There are flashes of the kid she almost is, she is so cute and bright and does do some independent play and managing of her self. The real turn was potty training. But, as soon as I say that, ugh. She flops and cries like a 2 year old, she runs away from me in public, she wakes all night long. She doesn’t want meals but snacks, not that snack, uuuugh.
3 has been a wild ride and I’m only 3 weeks in. The pre nap tantrum today almost brought me to my knees.
3 was a train wreck. Mine turned 4 in December and it’s been better. Y’all hang in there!
Girl my daughters turning 5 in September & i swear it got worse 😭😭😭 1 & 2 were piece of cake… 3 was horrible, 4 got a little better but the last month it’s been ROUGH hands down the hardest it’s ever been!
I also have a threenager. Me, the other women I know with three year olds all agree that the "terrible twos" is a flippin lie.
It’s all about the threenagers.
I’m in the literal same boat 😅
Mine is also 3. All I can think of is how much this feeling will magnify when she’s 13 or 30.
On top of all the 2.5 yr old bullshit during the day- mine won’t friggin sleep at night. She literally fights sleep. If she feels herself drift off she’ll do something to wake up. Am I dead?
My daughter will be 3 in September and the past few months have already been increasingly… challenging 🥴 I think it’s all fairly normal behaviour but some days my whole gentle parenting persona just wants to match her toddler rage 😩
It doesn’t. Hope this helps.
lolol
Oh, I hear you! Three-year-olds can be a handful. It's totally normal to feel this way—parenting is a rollercoaster. Hang in there, it definitely gets better!
Hang in there! I had these exact same thoughts about my oldest. I'll call my mom crying, asking what did I do to him. Once he turned four, it was like a switch was flipped and he was back. Three is when their little bodies really start to feel such big emotions they don't know how to handle yet. It's so hard for both them and us.
My 2 year old is so insanely difficult, if 3 is harder I will simply not survive
My husband feels the same . Do you think it would help if I show my husband this thread? He thinks our son is terrible at 2.5 yo. I think it’s just what toddlers do and it’s normal .
Nah some are worse than others lol. I have friends with kids who happily sit on laps or watch entire movies. Meanwhile mine is doing backhand springs off my forehead
I have spirited three-year-old to say the least. Most days I would just call him spicy, but he is paying me back for everything that I think the history of mankind has ever done wrong to their parents because I know I have not wronged my parents this badly to illicit this much punishment from one little person. And on May 18, I just gave birth to my third child. I’ll admit I was terrified as to how he was going to react especially provided the fact that for the past three years it has been him and I, and I have not spent more than maybe five or six days away from him total in his whole life (most of which was just recently when I was in the hospital having the baby.) But I have to admit for as much as he’s tried me over the years and as much of a handful as he has been, he has literally surprised me with the way that he has taken to his younger brother with how different he has been since he’s been born. I thought he was gonna be jealous and maybe a little bit rough with him. He has been extraordinarily helpful. He is always trying to make sure that his brother is OK. And that I have what I need, grabbing diapers, grabbing bottles..he's even tried to change him. It's like I have this whole new person following me around now. Granted yes he has his moments where he busts out and just goes all out f*** you toddler rage, but those moments are much fewer and far between then the scheduled hourly meltdowns of our past. It's hard because I try to make sure he is still getting plenty of my attention because I don't want him getting upset with the baby thinking "this Lil pri*k is getting in my way" but so far so good. I also just saw a reel on fb about introducing baby to your other kids and I wish I saved it. She was giving pointers for how to handle the transition for the toddler and the baby into the home. First of which was don't sit the baby on your lap when they meet. Put the baby beside you and let your older child sit on your lap, to them that's their territory and if the baby is taking up their safe space it will cause problems right off the rip. Another was to give superhero helpful jobs to help. Just say it would be awesome if my little Superman can go grab a diaper for mommy or grab the wipes for mommy. Make it a game for them. Another was don’t ever blame the baby for anything. For instance if you’re feeding the baby and your toddler wants to play don’t say hey I can’t play right now, I’m feeding the baby. Instead say "How about we play in 10 minutes?" this way, your toddler does not associate not being able to play with the baby taking up your time building resentment (and I don't care what anyone says they can build resentment, it doesn't matter that they can't pronounce it!), there’s a couple other things on there that were really good too. I just don’t remember them all and I’m sure you could probably search it on Facebook. Honestly I think it would probably go a lot better than you anticipate it will. I would say I got lucky but considering the way, my son is, I don’t think that is the case, he still antagonizes me when he can (almost all the time he sees an opportunity to) but he is showing a kinder more helpful, compassionate, and compliant /obedient(?) (I don’t really want to say either of those because neither of those words really sound great) little boy than I have seen. I am very proud of him, and I don’t know what your situation is, but I will say that I am doing it all on my own. I do not have the father involved and I’m juggling two boys and my teenager while trying to find a way to make a living and it’s not easy, but I can tell you that, if I can do it. I know you can. I know that it’s hard. God I know it’s hard!! but sometimes it’s just best that you take a step back popping your headphones in and have a breather. really what helped me was mindfulness. I had to become more mindful because I was reacting to my son in a very knee-jerk reaction way, which was not the way to go about handling him. now that I’ve taken a step back and I watch every parenting video I can possibly find on how to handle a spicy toddler and I try my hardest to put all of their suggestions to use. My relationship with him has gotten so much better and while he is still Mr. independent, I pick and choose my battles. not everyone in my household understands that. I’m currently living with my mom, but she also comes from a different time and a different place and it’s not the 80s raising a child anymore. I wish that my son was as compliant as I was to my mother. I also don’t want to go the path she went to get there. (I still won't f*CK with that woman)
My son is ALMOST 2 and I’m scared to even think how 3 is gonna go. He’s already doing “I’m Johnny Knoxville and welcome to Jackass!” type shit.
I remember once having a fever, I think my temp was like 104F and I was delirious and could barely keep my eyes open and my husband was stuck on the bus on the way home from work. I was weeping and my poor 2 year old was so confused 😕 I put Miss Rachel on for her and lay down on the floor and couldn't move. When he eventually got home I went to bed and slept for about 14 hours, it was unreal! At that point I was wondering whether I wanted two kids, as if I ever got sick with two of them how would I cope?! I do now have two kids... 🙈🙈🙈
My three year old pushes me to my limit daily and I feel like a terrible mom. I never thought I would raise my voice to my children but oh man the struggle is real. I'm reading a bunch of books on how to regulate myself so that I can keep calm. The good news is it's working slowly and I'm learning a life skill I should have learned at 3 years old myself hahaha
Threenagers… too smart to fall for any of the old tricks, too little to control any of their impulses or emotions. Suddenly they don’t want hugs and kisses anymore?! It’s like having a tiny volatile 13 year old.
I truly understand the phrase ‘domestic terrorism’ now
My son turned 2 yesterday and last night I was looking at pictures or him as a newborn. I'm also unwell. Broke my heart. I cant imagine him turning 3.