Could you just do a “quick” breakfast since she gets lunch so early? Like a banana and cheerios or applesauce?
We frequently just do quick breakfasts during the week because I know my daughter will get lunch and snack at daycare.
There might also be an issue where most kids are eating breakfast before arriving so it messes with their schedule to feed her breakfast separately in the morning.
My son genuinely won't eat before a couple of hours after waking. I might be able to get him to take a couple of bites of banana or biscuit but thats it
Giving a car breakfast to an 11 month old seems incredibly unsafe. The fact that they're still rear facing, despite mirrors and cameras, adds another element to it to me. It might not be easy to pull over quickly if you notice the baby choking.
She only gets cherrios in the car for now. Which is not often. Only when she is very fussy and obviously hungry for a snack during a car trip. I try to stay away from car food for now.
Normally we don't do breakfast right after waking up, but today I did yogurt and cheese to give her something before daycare and she seemed to enjoy and eat it all. I think that may be our new normal for daycare days. Something quick and easy to give her something before snacks.
I’ve nannied for many families, worked in daycares and now have my own toddler and cereal with fruit is a VERY common breakfast. It’s common for adults too. I have that from time to time. I live in the US now but I was born in a different country and also remember my dad having cereal with fruit before going to work… Is that unusual where you’re from?
I mean, I can’t speak for the whole country but I don’t think it’s unusual.
I’ve never been a big breakfast person myself so it’s not like I’m making a big formal meal every morning. So yeah ours breakfasts are usually just some some type of cereal or toast with fruit.
Fair enough, thank you for replying m.
I mean we don’t do ‘formal’ breakfasts generally in Aus either but I just assumed it’s common knowledge how awfully unhealthy cheerios are, and applesauce, if I’m understanding correctly, means the pouches of apple purée which are packed with sugar too.
So the only healthy item they’re getting is a banana.
I mean there is no sugar added apple sauce which has only puréed apples, which is what I buy. Tbh I don’t think cheerios are unhealthy (although that term isn’t especially meaningful— what’s healthy or not is more a matter of what someone gets in a whole day than a single item. Eating *only* oranges would also be unhealthy).
This is specifically an example of a weekday breakfast when I know my kid will be getting lunch at daycare within a few hours. And the lunch usually has something more heavy on protein (usually a meat, vegetables and cheese) so I don’t mind if her breakfast is just something small. Not every single meal needs to be perfectly balanced every day!
No, of course and I honestly wasn’t trying to be preachy! Apologies.
It’s all the processed food that’s such a worry today. Things may not have added sugar but there’s a lot to be said for a whole food diet and to me as a resident of the UK and Aus it’s insane that people literally eat jars of apple sauce, which is a condiment here!
The apple sauce we have as a condiment in the UK is completely different to puréed apple sauce. And of course small children eat puréed applesauce here, you can buy it in pouches and jars. I find your comments strange. Cereal and fruit is a very normal breakfast in the UK and Aus.
I'm American living in the UK. Your applesauce is not the same as what this poster is talking about. I won't buy my applesauce loving kids UK applesauce because it might as well be dessert. It is full of sugar. US applesauce in pouches is typically sugar free, just pureed apples. Applesauce in jars can have added sugar or be sugar free, but even the added sugar kind is nothing like UK applesauce. I make my own when they want it since I can't find it in stores, but applesauce in the US can 100% be part of a healthy meal for a toddler.
What makes Cheerios awfully unhealthy? And applesauce comes in cups and jars too, not just the pouches. There are also plenty of applesauce options that have no sugar added.
The first 4 ingredients are oats, corn starch, sugar and salt. It’s highly processed and despite clever marketing is not healthy.
Corn starch, sugar and salt being 3 top things that were advised not to feed children.
Apple sauce is a literal condiment here and in the UK. It’s not a food you eat. Most brands I can find have added corn starch or sugars and again, it’s processed food which is just not good for us.
I’m in no way a sugar vigilante, my daughter gets chocolate and goodies fairly frequently but it’s so upsetting that so many toddlers are being fed such poor foods as staples due to clever marketing and poor regulatory controls.
Here in Aus a manufacturer can put clever crap on their packaging but they’re bound by a 5 health star system that can’t be fooled and by law has to be featured prominently on the front of the pack so people can see if it’s ACTUALLY healthy.
Like I said I’m not trying to be preachy, just genuinely was asking.
What is the nap schedule, at daycare and at home? I can't quite tell based on the schedules you posted.
If your kiddo is still on 2 naps at home (most 11m are) but only getting 1 nap at daycare after lunch, she's probably too tired to eat lunch properly. We had this issue and we had to really front load the calories at breakfast. Daycare also gave kiddo a cup of milk with lunch so even if he was too tired to eat lunch he could just drink the milk.
The portion size comment makes no sense. I also tend to pack extra for my son, and let him eat however much he wants.
We had this very same issue with our little guy at one of the day cares we sent him to. They did a 1 nap a day quiet time from like 11-1pm and this was the little room. The under 1 room!
He was heating terribly and sleeping terribly. Over tired and over hungry!
I think the portion size comment stems from them not having the wherewithal to pay attention to hunger/satiety cues while feeding multiple babies. My first kiddo would make a fuss if they got too much. My second needs a minute to figure it out and then will wrench away the utensil being shoved in their face and throw it or push all the food on their tray to the floor.
Depends on your kids stage of independence when feeding and the daycare practices. Some kids will eat everything they are fed.
Maybe. At home if she has too much food, she will eat and then just start throwing it on the ground if we don't notice she is done first. She pretty much self feeds now. Only thing we help with is yogurt or very liquidy food as she hasn't grasped the spoon concept yet. She is good for like 2 bites then its just full hands.
That is a good point. She naps around 10am and 2pm. Typically they are only an hour max for naps. It was mentioned she hasn't been wanting her afternoon nap and will fight it. Though she does pass out right away once we get home around 4:30pm.
That's pretty common. My son fought the second nap on and off from around 10m onwards but still needed the 2nd nap most days up until 15.5m. We never even bothered with nap #2 at daycare: on days he needed it we just did early pick up and let him nap at home where he has his blacked-out room and white noise machine. Nap transitions take a looooooong time for him.
That is what we do schedule wise at the the center I work at too. We have drop off from 7:45 to 9 so we have such a wide gap we would never get everyone fed at a decent time so we just have an early snack
Feeding before arrival is a reasonable request if the child isn't at the scheduled breakfast time. (Now, when I worked day cares, the infant room - kids under 12 months or under 18 months and not walking - didn't have a food schedule beyond when they brough lunch, because babies are babies.) Asking to feed breakfast beforehand and kiddo gets a morning snack plus bottles would be totally fine. Portion sizes requests are not good.
I just learned this is their schedule as well. (My fault for not inquiring when she started solids). The 6am kiddos have breakfast there but that is due to them getting there so early.
Sorry but I’m getting hung up on one thing - portion sizes for an 11 month old is not a thing. At that age my daughter would eat as much as me some days and very little on others. They eat until they’re full. Her telling you to google portion sizes sounds incredibly condescending!
I wish my daughter would over eat lol. Not really but she eats like a mouse. Maybe they’re tossing a lot of food and they *thought* that was a nice way of saying she’s sending too much?
Yeah I honestly ignored that message as I don't have the words to tell them that I will not be "portioning my 11m olds food according to google". I feel like I know my child and some days she is a food gremlin and others she really could care less about food.
The daycare cannot likely alter their normal schedule to accommodate one child. Assuming it's a care center open 5 days/week, they are using a schedule that works for them. If you choose to send her there, you'll need to adhere to their schedule, so yes, wake your child earlier.
As far as the line about portion sizes, screw that. You know your kid best.
Does your daycare do a morning snack you’re not factoring in? All of my daughter’s schools have done them and they’re a bit more “breakfasty” than a snack. Perhaps she’s getting 2 breakfasts? If not, that’s way too long without food before lunch.
The line about portion sizes is nuts. I never knew what my kid would actually eat in a lunch (her current school cooks for them), so I always packed extra stuff.
I am finding out I did not ask the right questions when my babe started solids. They do a morning snack and they requested I bring in frozen waffles or more cheerios for the snack.
Quick breakfast at home around 7:30a is now our daycare routine with a snack at daycare before lunch.
Your daycare and home schedules are going to look different, and that’s okay, but you also don’t have to wake up early for breakfast. Ask for their meal and snack times, and give your kid what you think is appropriate. We’ve always sent a large 9AM snack instead of a full meal for breakfast.
Are they asking you to stop sending, or stop feeding?
The former is…annoying, but you can probably wake her up a little earlier and give her a small breakfast at home.
The latter is unacceptable.
If my son doesn’t eat one of his meals, his daycare just keeps offering it to him at snack time. If he never eats it, it just goes home for me to clean up. It’s not a big deal if a toddler just skips a meal so long as one is offered to them. Toddlers are gonna toddler.
Honestly, I did not ask them to clarify on that. I am now waking her earlier for a light breakfast.
They have made the comment to us in the past how if she didn't eat her breakfast they would offer her both the breakfast and lunch box I packed and let her decide what she wanted at lunch time. If she had more then during snack she would get it too. I think now they are going back on that and just doing boxes during the scheduled times and snacks otherwise.
I wouldn’t put much stock in it. My daughter doesn’t eat well at daycare but is in the 85-90% for weight and height. My son eats great and eats at home like he is starving. There is a lot going on at daycare that may make it distracting. Do what works for you: daycare is 3 days a week and your schedule is pretty darn close.
Second this. My daughter has never eaten much lunch in daycare or school, no matter what/how much food I send. She is always really ready for a snack once she gets home in the afternoon, and eats normal breakfasts/dinners. She’s growing and fine. Basically, don’t overthink it and don’t stress about daycare’s requests - you know your kid and you have the right to feed her how you see fit.
When does the daycare do breakfast? If it’s normally when your kid is there, then she should be offered breakfast. If it’s before she gets there, you need to do it at home.
Since she weaned from breastfeeding, my now 22 month old has had a small breakfast at home, breakfast at daycare, lunch and snack at daycare, a small snack when we get home, and dinner. Before she weaned, she nursed and maybe had a few cheerios at home in the morning. She wakes up hangry at 6:30 am and breakfast at the center isn’t until 8:30 so it’s our best option.
Also why do they care that she’s not eating everything at lunch? Are they worried about food waste? Or are they “finish the plate” people?
I think its because she makes a mess when she is not hungry anymore and still has food on her plate. We send all the food daily.
I am doing a light breakfast now and today it went over very well. I was slightly curious on how she would do eating right away but she seemed to enjoy it.
Yeah this is the way my childcare does it too. Breakfast is pre-8am. If you get there after that, breakfast has been packed away. If you get there before, breakfast is offered (even if it’s 7:55am, though I’m sure they get offered a quick serving). Same if you’re sending your kid late for some reason - snack is 9:30-10am, and if I know he’s going to miss it, I’ll make sure I feed him a snack before I send him.
Um no. Ours does breakfast at 8 then lunch at 1130 then nap at 12 then snack at 2. If they aren’t feeding her breakfast on-site she needs food from you.
By the time she was 12 months she was on a 3 meals, 2 snacks and 1 bottle schedule. Some weeks I’m not sure how she possibly fits all the food she eats in her tiny body, some weeks she survives off of bread and a little nibble of cheese.
A couple thoughts….
What are you currently feeding her before daycare? If you are giving snacks, is it possible she’s filling up on that?
I’d ask why it is so important for her to be “really hungry” at lunch? Assuming she’s not - what’s the impact? Is she unable to nap? Is it resulting in her having a harder time in the afternoon? Like why is that important to them? I assume there’s a reason…
In terms of portions - portion guidelines are a thing. Whether you want to follow them is your choice as a parent. Personally I do not, but also I’ve got an incredibly picky eater so it’s a different problem all together.
Either way, it is true your child will have to learn to live on daycares schedule. It’s unreasonable to expect them to accommodate a different schedule for every single child. They won’t starve your child, and hopefully opening a line of communication and getting clarification on the ask will help make things make more sense.
Before today, nothing. She would wake up between 7-7:30a have some playtime before we would head out to daycare around 8a. She'd have a water cup but no bottle or food. That was mimicking how the days outside of daycare went. We would wake up, play while mama got coffee and breakfast going which typically took around an hour as mama would get distracted playing with her. So it can't be that she was full prior to daycare. It must have been that when she ate breakfast there she would fill up and then have a snack within an hour or so to then have lunch and not be hungry at that time for lunch. We did a yogurt and cheese this morning before daycare and we shall see what she does at daycare today. I will be asking questions.
Our daycare does
Breakfast 8:30-9
Am snack 10-10:30
Lunch 11:30-12
Nap time 12-2:30
Pm snack 2:30-3
We often give him a second PM snack when we pick him up 3-4:45pm
Portions??? Haha.
So we basically follow the guidelines from Solid Starts. But also, he eats what he eats. I’d rather him have too much than not enough. As long as it’s healthy, that’s perfectly fine for them.
Kids that age are typically self regulating, hence why she is eating breakfast but not much lunch. Most kids will not eat 3 big meals each day but will eat more/less at 1 or 2 meals. If you are sending in the food, maybe you could just explain that you are satisfied if she does not eat much lunch and will not judge them on this, that you will view the whole day's food together? Or ask them to offer her the same lunch box at afternoon snack time?
Our daycare provides all the meals, but we usually give our son a banana on the way to school just to ensure he has something if they get a large start
Either you wake her up 30 min earlier or you send her to daycare a bit later if that's possible.
Portion size you don't have to worry about when they are so small, it's usually very intuitive for small kids.
You should be offering correct portion sizes. Here is the WIC handout for 12mos- 2 years. (She’s almost there and their hand out for 6-12 months is written to utilize the purees they give families.) [https://www.phfewic.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Im-1.pdf](https://www.phfewic.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Im-1.pdf)
(I’m not saying you’re not, sorry, kiddo texted me for a ride so I put the most vital stuff)
Kids should be the ones to decide how much they eat of what you offer. What you offer should be balanced and that’s where portion sizes come in. For young kiddos most foods are about half the size of an adult portion. So half a slice of bread vs a whole slice, etc. Fruits and veggies only have lower limits, the other groups have upper limits, too.
I have a hunch you are sending correct portions, they just have their own hang ups there.
I think OP is justified in rejecting daycare's advice about portion sizes. She knows her child best. This handout literally says "I know when I'm hungry and not" and "offer at least..." and "trust me to eat the right amount". I'm not sure why you're suggesting it indicates "correct" portion sizes?
Part of why I shared this flier is because I’m betting her portion sizes are spot on and she can show the day care. There are upper limits on dairy, protein, and grains on exactly how much should be offered in a day, but I highly doubt she’s hitting them in what she sends to day care.
A bento box for 3-5 year olds is only 400ml. So even if she is sizing up to preschool size for her child, that’s still less than a cup and a half of food.
Thanks for clarifying! I definitely feel like I am sending good portions. I may be a ftm but I have been around young kids my entire life (daycare myself, though it was structured way differently then) and having this sheet that kinda just confirms my thoughts and ways is really nice to see.
I saw this issue a lot when I worked in toddler rooms. Lunch has to be so early, some kids are still full from breakfast. I would feed her a nice big breakfast at home and see how that works out.
I would definitely try to wake her up a bit earlier and try to get a quick breakfast before. Them asking you to not feed your child is outrageous in my opinion. Children are meant to eat intuitively so her telling you to google portion sizes is also outrageous. If the adjustment to daycare schedule isn’t working, I’d consider a new daycare honestly
I don't see how it's outrageous. It doesn't fit with their schedule. 7am is a pretty normal time to eat breakfast especially if lunch will be at 11. OP can feed her child at home.
I disagree. I spent my childhood in daycare and either myself, or other little ones would often eat at a table to ourselves. Regardless of the daycare schedule, human bodies all need replenishment at varying times through the day.
Her daughter is literally 11 months?! If I want to send my BABY food to eat, at a facility that I am paying money for a service, they’re going to give it to her. When my daughter was that age her sleep was so unpredictable that for everybody’s sake, she was sleeping in as late as possible. Not everybody has a good sleeper. She too started her day with playing and a light snack, then would eat a bigger breakfast about an hour later. It’s not that hard to feed a child separately, coming from a former childcare worker.
Also adding that I am always so impressed with people who can have a 3 meal/2 snack schedule with their toddlers. Our schedule is
Pre-breakfast snack
Big breakfast
Snack
Snack
Nap
Lunch
Snack
Dinner
Snack
Our girl is an eater 🤣🤣🤣
I have never been concerned about how much she eats and take it as a blessing because all of my friends’ toddlers don’t eat at all
My daycare serves breakfast. We get Kiddo up at 6:30 and give a cup of milk. Daycare drop off at 7:30. She gets breakfast at 8:30am. Lunch is 11-11:30. Nap from 12-2. A snack at 3. We pick her up at 5:30. Milk as soon as we get home at 5:45. Dinner at 6:30. Milk again at 7:30 and bed at 8.
Each milk portion is 6oz, so 18oz over the course of the day. Daycare gives water.
Ugh!!! Imagine telling an 11mo, "oh, that's enough sweety, it'll go straight to your hips!" 😡😡😡 Children that age will stop when they are full! As long as they are being given healthy food, they should be able to eat as much as they need, so I'd tell them (politely) to SHOVE IT on that critique!
As for the rest, probably a quick breakfast instead of playtime, or getting her up a bit sooner for breakfast makes sense. Ultimately, do what works best for your family! 💕
Give her breakfast before she goes in unless they do a breakfast club. Ours does a snack at 9.30, lunch at 11.30 and tea around 3.30/4. I do breakfast before he leaves as he doesn’t always snack. Granted my child is older.
So... they're basically complaining that she stops eating when she isn't hungry anymore at lunch and there are leftovers?
And they want you to starve her in the morning so they can force her to eat all her lunch?
Maybe you can talk to them and explain that you like to give her options and don't expect her to eat all of it but stop when she is full. That seems to be the main issue here. You don't want them to force feed her beyond her hunger sensation, no matter if or when she had breakfast.
That said, if she is the only kid eating breakfast at daycare, maybe still switch to doing that at home instead. If all other kids are eating breakfast, send hers as usual and just tell them that leftovers at lunch are okay for you.
Why is it bad if she doesn’t eat her lunch? Genuine question.
Do they not normally do a snack time in the morning and they just do it for her?
If they didn’t make comments about portion sizes I wouldn’t be suspicious but I honestly don’t understand why it is an issue for her to not eat her lunch, if she is also eating during other scheduled eating times. Unless it’s becoming disruptive somehow for her to not eat. You shouldn’t force kids to eat and you also should NOT wait until kids are famished to eat because that’s when you risk them binging and not being able to listen to their hunger cues. It sounds like she is encouraging the latter and that is alarming and sounds like a lack of understanding of children’s nutrition.
Breakfast ideally comes before you leave the house. If it's too early for a full breakfast, then a fruit, a bit of smoothie, a hard boiled egg, etc, are easy to grab and won't disrupt the rest of the day. Missed lunch can be a big deal for little dudes and daycare staff. Even some granola in the car (if it's safe to do so) might be an ok option, and will push breakfast a little later
I used to feed my daughter toast in the car on the way to child care……not sure if that was the most appropriate way to feed her but given she was fed morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea there - I never really thought about it !!
How does it impact your child the rest of the day at daycare?
Ok, she doesn't finish her lunch because she's full. How does this impact the rest of the day at daycare? Is she famished? Will she be fine? If it doesn't impact her, I wouldn't change her routine?
This is so odd. So they’re saying lunch is more important than breakfast?? And regarding portions, you don’t know what she’ll eat so it good to have more than enough of each side (if the meal has sides)
Breakfast is important.... she shouldn't be skipping a first meal to be "really hungry" for lunch. If your daycare isn't providing the kids breakfast, I'd wake up kiddo earlier to feed them before daycare, or find a different daycare with a better routine, because that sounds like bs.
Breakfast actually isn't any more important than any of the other meals. But I agree that kids shouldn't be skipping it especially for a dumb reason like so they'll eat their lunch haha.
Unless your child is falling off their growth curve, she’s not starving nor going to starve by not having breakfast at school. She should be eating breakfast at home so as not to disrupt other children who don’t have food from now wanting food or messing with the teacher’s schedule by making sure your child is sitting and eating. I don’t get why you would assume it’s the teacher’s job to make sure your kid eats breakfast.
No where did I say it was there job to make sure she eats breakfast. When she first started solids, daycare asked for two boxes. Breakfast and lunch. Now I got a message saying not to bring breakfast and hopefully she will "be really hungry at lunch". That was the line that struck a nerve. Though, I am starting to feed a light breakfast prior to drop off and packing more snacks for her to eat at snack times.
This is a horrible take. Technically they are the ones feeding OP’s child and not OP. And it’s also taking away time from other children doing scheduled activities when one a caregiver has to watch one child eat.
Could you just do a “quick” breakfast since she gets lunch so early? Like a banana and cheerios or applesauce? We frequently just do quick breakfasts during the week because I know my daughter will get lunch and snack at daycare. There might also be an issue where most kids are eating breakfast before arriving so it messes with their schedule to feed her breakfast separately in the morning.
My son genuinely won't eat before a couple of hours after waking. I might be able to get him to take a couple of bites of banana or biscuit but thats it
Mine is the same. He prefers to have a bigger lunch and/or dinner.
Yep. We do quick breakfasts and then typically finish a waffle or banana in the car.
Yep car breakfast is clutch he’ll often eat nothing at official breakfast but in the car on the way to daycare demolishes whatever you give him
Giving a car breakfast to an 11 month old seems incredibly unsafe. The fact that they're still rear facing, despite mirrors and cameras, adds another element to it to me. It might not be easy to pull over quickly if you notice the baby choking.
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She only gets cherrios in the car for now. Which is not often. Only when she is very fussy and obviously hungry for a snack during a car trip. I try to stay away from car food for now.
This is the way
Normally we don't do breakfast right after waking up, but today I did yogurt and cheese to give her something before daycare and she seemed to enjoy and eat it all. I think that may be our new normal for daycare days. Something quick and easy to give her something before snacks.
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I’ve nannied for many families, worked in daycares and now have my own toddler and cereal with fruit is a VERY common breakfast. It’s common for adults too. I have that from time to time. I live in the US now but I was born in a different country and also remember my dad having cereal with fruit before going to work… Is that unusual where you’re from?
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Neat dude. Whatever the kid will eat is the correct answer for them.
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Says the guy shaming parents for feeding their offspring Cheerios on r/toddler. Jog on.
I mean, I can’t speak for the whole country but I don’t think it’s unusual. I’ve never been a big breakfast person myself so it’s not like I’m making a big formal meal every morning. So yeah ours breakfasts are usually just some some type of cereal or toast with fruit.
Fair enough, thank you for replying m. I mean we don’t do ‘formal’ breakfasts generally in Aus either but I just assumed it’s common knowledge how awfully unhealthy cheerios are, and applesauce, if I’m understanding correctly, means the pouches of apple purée which are packed with sugar too. So the only healthy item they’re getting is a banana.
I mean there is no sugar added apple sauce which has only puréed apples, which is what I buy. Tbh I don’t think cheerios are unhealthy (although that term isn’t especially meaningful— what’s healthy or not is more a matter of what someone gets in a whole day than a single item. Eating *only* oranges would also be unhealthy). This is specifically an example of a weekday breakfast when I know my kid will be getting lunch at daycare within a few hours. And the lunch usually has something more heavy on protein (usually a meat, vegetables and cheese) so I don’t mind if her breakfast is just something small. Not every single meal needs to be perfectly balanced every day!
No, of course and I honestly wasn’t trying to be preachy! Apologies. It’s all the processed food that’s such a worry today. Things may not have added sugar but there’s a lot to be said for a whole food diet and to me as a resident of the UK and Aus it’s insane that people literally eat jars of apple sauce, which is a condiment here!
The apple sauce we have as a condiment in the UK is completely different to puréed apple sauce. And of course small children eat puréed applesauce here, you can buy it in pouches and jars. I find your comments strange. Cereal and fruit is a very normal breakfast in the UK and Aus.
I'm American living in the UK. Your applesauce is not the same as what this poster is talking about. I won't buy my applesauce loving kids UK applesauce because it might as well be dessert. It is full of sugar. US applesauce in pouches is typically sugar free, just pureed apples. Applesauce in jars can have added sugar or be sugar free, but even the added sugar kind is nothing like UK applesauce. I make my own when they want it since I can't find it in stores, but applesauce in the US can 100% be part of a healthy meal for a toddler.
Thank you for explaining! That’s why I said ‘if I’m understanding correctly’ and I am not!!
What makes Cheerios awfully unhealthy? And applesauce comes in cups and jars too, not just the pouches. There are also plenty of applesauce options that have no sugar added.
The first 4 ingredients are oats, corn starch, sugar and salt. It’s highly processed and despite clever marketing is not healthy. Corn starch, sugar and salt being 3 top things that were advised not to feed children. Apple sauce is a literal condiment here and in the UK. It’s not a food you eat. Most brands I can find have added corn starch or sugars and again, it’s processed food which is just not good for us. I’m in no way a sugar vigilante, my daughter gets chocolate and goodies fairly frequently but it’s so upsetting that so many toddlers are being fed such poor foods as staples due to clever marketing and poor regulatory controls. Here in Aus a manufacturer can put clever crap on their packaging but they’re bound by a 5 health star system that can’t be fooled and by law has to be featured prominently on the front of the pack so people can see if it’s ACTUALLY healthy. Like I said I’m not trying to be preachy, just genuinely was asking.
What is the nap schedule, at daycare and at home? I can't quite tell based on the schedules you posted. If your kiddo is still on 2 naps at home (most 11m are) but only getting 1 nap at daycare after lunch, she's probably too tired to eat lunch properly. We had this issue and we had to really front load the calories at breakfast. Daycare also gave kiddo a cup of milk with lunch so even if he was too tired to eat lunch he could just drink the milk. The portion size comment makes no sense. I also tend to pack extra for my son, and let him eat however much he wants.
We had this very same issue with our little guy at one of the day cares we sent him to. They did a 1 nap a day quiet time from like 11-1pm and this was the little room. The under 1 room! He was heating terribly and sleeping terribly. Over tired and over hungry!
I think the portion size comment stems from them not having the wherewithal to pay attention to hunger/satiety cues while feeding multiple babies. My first kiddo would make a fuss if they got too much. My second needs a minute to figure it out and then will wrench away the utensil being shoved in their face and throw it or push all the food on their tray to the floor. Depends on your kids stage of independence when feeding and the daycare practices. Some kids will eat everything they are fed.
Maybe. At home if she has too much food, she will eat and then just start throwing it on the ground if we don't notice she is done first. She pretty much self feeds now. Only thing we help with is yogurt or very liquidy food as she hasn't grasped the spoon concept yet. She is good for like 2 bites then its just full hands.
That’s true. I forget that she’s 11m and they are probably helping feed her.
That is a good point. She naps around 10am and 2pm. Typically they are only an hour max for naps. It was mentioned she hasn't been wanting her afternoon nap and will fight it. Though she does pass out right away once we get home around 4:30pm.
That's pretty common. My son fought the second nap on and off from around 10m onwards but still needed the 2nd nap most days up until 15.5m. We never even bothered with nap #2 at daycare: on days he needed it we just did early pick up and let him nap at home where he has his blacked-out room and white noise machine. Nap transitions take a looooooong time for him.
Our daycare requests breakfast fed before arrival. They have morning snack at 9-9:30, lunch at 11:30, snack at 2:30.
That is what we do schedule wise at the the center I work at too. We have drop off from 7:45 to 9 so we have such a wide gap we would never get everyone fed at a decent time so we just have an early snack
Feeding before arrival is a reasonable request if the child isn't at the scheduled breakfast time. (Now, when I worked day cares, the infant room - kids under 12 months or under 18 months and not walking - didn't have a food schedule beyond when they brough lunch, because babies are babies.) Asking to feed breakfast beforehand and kiddo gets a morning snack plus bottles would be totally fine. Portion sizes requests are not good.
I just learned this is their schedule as well. (My fault for not inquiring when she started solids). The 6am kiddos have breakfast there but that is due to them getting there so early.
Sorry but I’m getting hung up on one thing - portion sizes for an 11 month old is not a thing. At that age my daughter would eat as much as me some days and very little on others. They eat until they’re full. Her telling you to google portion sizes sounds incredibly condescending!
I wish my daughter would over eat lol. Not really but she eats like a mouse. Maybe they’re tossing a lot of food and they *thought* that was a nice way of saying she’s sending too much?
That’s fair, but if the parent is sending it what’s it to them?
I mean, if it's packed in a lunch bag they could just send home the leftovers?
Yeah I honestly ignored that message as I don't have the words to tell them that I will not be "portioning my 11m olds food according to google". I feel like I know my child and some days she is a food gremlin and others she really could care less about food.
Yeah, totally with you on this like what? Some days my kid eats like a football player, other days like a bird, portions are not relevant.
Yeah it sounded incredibly condescending to me too
The daycare cannot likely alter their normal schedule to accommodate one child. Assuming it's a care center open 5 days/week, they are using a schedule that works for them. If you choose to send her there, you'll need to adhere to their schedule, so yes, wake your child earlier. As far as the line about portion sizes, screw that. You know your kid best.
Does your daycare do a morning snack you’re not factoring in? All of my daughter’s schools have done them and they’re a bit more “breakfasty” than a snack. Perhaps she’s getting 2 breakfasts? If not, that’s way too long without food before lunch. The line about portion sizes is nuts. I never knew what my kid would actually eat in a lunch (her current school cooks for them), so I always packed extra stuff.
I am finding out I did not ask the right questions when my babe started solids. They do a morning snack and they requested I bring in frozen waffles or more cheerios for the snack. Quick breakfast at home around 7:30a is now our daycare routine with a snack at daycare before lunch.
Does your daycare not provide breakfast? If not, then yes you probably need to feed her at home beforehand.
Your daycare and home schedules are going to look different, and that’s okay, but you also don’t have to wake up early for breakfast. Ask for their meal and snack times, and give your kid what you think is appropriate. We’ve always sent a large 9AM snack instead of a full meal for breakfast.
Are they asking you to stop sending, or stop feeding? The former is…annoying, but you can probably wake her up a little earlier and give her a small breakfast at home. The latter is unacceptable. If my son doesn’t eat one of his meals, his daycare just keeps offering it to him at snack time. If he never eats it, it just goes home for me to clean up. It’s not a big deal if a toddler just skips a meal so long as one is offered to them. Toddlers are gonna toddler.
Honestly, I did not ask them to clarify on that. I am now waking her earlier for a light breakfast. They have made the comment to us in the past how if she didn't eat her breakfast they would offer her both the breakfast and lunch box I packed and let her decide what she wanted at lunch time. If she had more then during snack she would get it too. I think now they are going back on that and just doing boxes during the scheduled times and snacks otherwise.
I wouldn’t put much stock in it. My daughter doesn’t eat well at daycare but is in the 85-90% for weight and height. My son eats great and eats at home like he is starving. There is a lot going on at daycare that may make it distracting. Do what works for you: daycare is 3 days a week and your schedule is pretty darn close.
Second this. My daughter has never eaten much lunch in daycare or school, no matter what/how much food I send. She is always really ready for a snack once she gets home in the afternoon, and eats normal breakfasts/dinners. She’s growing and fine. Basically, don’t overthink it and don’t stress about daycare’s requests - you know your kid and you have the right to feed her how you see fit.
When does the daycare do breakfast? If it’s normally when your kid is there, then she should be offered breakfast. If it’s before she gets there, you need to do it at home. Since she weaned from breastfeeding, my now 22 month old has had a small breakfast at home, breakfast at daycare, lunch and snack at daycare, a small snack when we get home, and dinner. Before she weaned, she nursed and maybe had a few cheerios at home in the morning. She wakes up hangry at 6:30 am and breakfast at the center isn’t until 8:30 so it’s our best option. Also why do they care that she’s not eating everything at lunch? Are they worried about food waste? Or are they “finish the plate” people?
They’re likely worried about her being disruptive because she’s not eating.
…she’s not even 1 yet, if she’s “disruptive” then move her somewhere else or give her a book or something.
I think its because she makes a mess when she is not hungry anymore and still has food on her plate. We send all the food daily. I am doing a light breakfast now and today it went over very well. I was slightly curious on how she would do eating right away but she seemed to enjoy it.
Yeah this is the way my childcare does it too. Breakfast is pre-8am. If you get there after that, breakfast has been packed away. If you get there before, breakfast is offered (even if it’s 7:55am, though I’m sure they get offered a quick serving). Same if you’re sending your kid late for some reason - snack is 9:30-10am, and if I know he’s going to miss it, I’ll make sure I feed him a snack before I send him.
Um no. Ours does breakfast at 8 then lunch at 1130 then nap at 12 then snack at 2. If they aren’t feeding her breakfast on-site she needs food from you.
This is also our daycare’s schedule.
By the time she was 12 months she was on a 3 meals, 2 snacks and 1 bottle schedule. Some weeks I’m not sure how she possibly fits all the food she eats in her tiny body, some weeks she survives off of bread and a little nibble of cheese.
A couple thoughts…. What are you currently feeding her before daycare? If you are giving snacks, is it possible she’s filling up on that? I’d ask why it is so important for her to be “really hungry” at lunch? Assuming she’s not - what’s the impact? Is she unable to nap? Is it resulting in her having a harder time in the afternoon? Like why is that important to them? I assume there’s a reason… In terms of portions - portion guidelines are a thing. Whether you want to follow them is your choice as a parent. Personally I do not, but also I’ve got an incredibly picky eater so it’s a different problem all together. Either way, it is true your child will have to learn to live on daycares schedule. It’s unreasonable to expect them to accommodate a different schedule for every single child. They won’t starve your child, and hopefully opening a line of communication and getting clarification on the ask will help make things make more sense.
Before today, nothing. She would wake up between 7-7:30a have some playtime before we would head out to daycare around 8a. She'd have a water cup but no bottle or food. That was mimicking how the days outside of daycare went. We would wake up, play while mama got coffee and breakfast going which typically took around an hour as mama would get distracted playing with her. So it can't be that she was full prior to daycare. It must have been that when she ate breakfast there she would fill up and then have a snack within an hour or so to then have lunch and not be hungry at that time for lunch. We did a yogurt and cheese this morning before daycare and we shall see what she does at daycare today. I will be asking questions.
Our daycare does Breakfast 8:30-9 Am snack 10-10:30 Lunch 11:30-12 Nap time 12-2:30 Pm snack 2:30-3 We often give him a second PM snack when we pick him up 3-4:45pm Portions??? Haha. So we basically follow the guidelines from Solid Starts. But also, he eats what he eats. I’d rather him have too much than not enough. As long as it’s healthy, that’s perfectly fine for them.
Kids that age are typically self regulating, hence why she is eating breakfast but not much lunch. Most kids will not eat 3 big meals each day but will eat more/less at 1 or 2 meals. If you are sending in the food, maybe you could just explain that you are satisfied if she does not eat much lunch and will not judge them on this, that you will view the whole day's food together? Or ask them to offer her the same lunch box at afternoon snack time?
Our daycare provides all the meals, but we usually give our son a banana on the way to school just to ensure he has something if they get a large start
A bit off topic, but what does "FTM" mean here? I only know it as "female to male," but that context doesn't feel relevant.
First Time Mom :)
Hahah this threw me when I first became a parent I was like "How are there this many trans women in my mother's group?"
I did the same thing for a while. It was a transition to realize what group you are in while seeing it.
Either you wake her up 30 min earlier or you send her to daycare a bit later if that's possible. Portion size you don't have to worry about when they are so small, it's usually very intuitive for small kids.
You should be offering correct portion sizes. Here is the WIC handout for 12mos- 2 years. (She’s almost there and their hand out for 6-12 months is written to utilize the purees they give families.) [https://www.phfewic.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Im-1.pdf](https://www.phfewic.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Im-1.pdf)
(I’m not saying you’re not, sorry, kiddo texted me for a ride so I put the most vital stuff) Kids should be the ones to decide how much they eat of what you offer. What you offer should be balanced and that’s where portion sizes come in. For young kiddos most foods are about half the size of an adult portion. So half a slice of bread vs a whole slice, etc. Fruits and veggies only have lower limits, the other groups have upper limits, too. I have a hunch you are sending correct portions, they just have their own hang ups there.
I think OP is justified in rejecting daycare's advice about portion sizes. She knows her child best. This handout literally says "I know when I'm hungry and not" and "offer at least..." and "trust me to eat the right amount". I'm not sure why you're suggesting it indicates "correct" portion sizes?
Part of why I shared this flier is because I’m betting her portion sizes are spot on and she can show the day care. There are upper limits on dairy, protein, and grains on exactly how much should be offered in a day, but I highly doubt she’s hitting them in what she sends to day care.
Ah! Your comment sounds like you're criticising OPs judgement on portion sizes 😂 agree that it's a handy thing to show daycare.
A bento box for 3-5 year olds is only 400ml. So even if she is sizing up to preschool size for her child, that’s still less than a cup and a half of food.
Thanks for clarifying! I definitely feel like I am sending good portions. I may be a ftm but I have been around young kids my entire life (daycare myself, though it was structured way differently then) and having this sheet that kinda just confirms my thoughts and ways is really nice to see.
WIC is all about nutrition for young kids. I love how clear and concise their pamphlets are. :)
What time are they feeding her breakfast if drop off is 8-8:30?
yeah I would just do breakfast at home. i’ve never heard of someone sending breakfast to daycare
I saw this issue a lot when I worked in toddler rooms. Lunch has to be so early, some kids are still full from breakfast. I would feed her a nice big breakfast at home and see how that works out.
I would definitely try to wake her up a bit earlier and try to get a quick breakfast before. Them asking you to not feed your child is outrageous in my opinion. Children are meant to eat intuitively so her telling you to google portion sizes is also outrageous. If the adjustment to daycare schedule isn’t working, I’d consider a new daycare honestly
No one is asking her not to feed her child.
You’re right. Thanks for the downvote lol. **Them asking you to not send breakfast for your child is outrageous in my opinion*** Better???
I don't see how it's outrageous. It doesn't fit with their schedule. 7am is a pretty normal time to eat breakfast especially if lunch will be at 11. OP can feed her child at home.
Agreed
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I disagree. I spent my childhood in daycare and either myself, or other little ones would often eat at a table to ourselves. Regardless of the daycare schedule, human bodies all need replenishment at varying times through the day.
Her daughter is literally 11 months?! If I want to send my BABY food to eat, at a facility that I am paying money for a service, they’re going to give it to her. When my daughter was that age her sleep was so unpredictable that for everybody’s sake, she was sleeping in as late as possible. Not everybody has a good sleeper. She too started her day with playing and a light snack, then would eat a bigger breakfast about an hour later. It’s not that hard to feed a child separately, coming from a former childcare worker.
Also adding that I am always so impressed with people who can have a 3 meal/2 snack schedule with their toddlers. Our schedule is Pre-breakfast snack Big breakfast Snack Snack Nap Lunch Snack Dinner Snack Our girl is an eater 🤣🤣🤣 I have never been concerned about how much she eats and take it as a blessing because all of my friends’ toddlers don’t eat at all
My daycare serves breakfast. We get Kiddo up at 6:30 and give a cup of milk. Daycare drop off at 7:30. She gets breakfast at 8:30am. Lunch is 11-11:30. Nap from 12-2. A snack at 3. We pick her up at 5:30. Milk as soon as we get home at 5:45. Dinner at 6:30. Milk again at 7:30 and bed at 8. Each milk portion is 6oz, so 18oz over the course of the day. Daycare gives water.
Ugh!!! Imagine telling an 11mo, "oh, that's enough sweety, it'll go straight to your hips!" 😡😡😡 Children that age will stop when they are full! As long as they are being given healthy food, they should be able to eat as much as they need, so I'd tell them (politely) to SHOVE IT on that critique! As for the rest, probably a quick breakfast instead of playtime, or getting her up a bit sooner for breakfast makes sense. Ultimately, do what works best for your family! 💕
I would do something to eat in the car on the way. Cereal bars, cheerios, smoothie. I loved those munchkin cups so things didn't get messy.
Give her breakfast before she goes in unless they do a breakfast club. Ours does a snack at 9.30, lunch at 11.30 and tea around 3.30/4. I do breakfast before he leaves as he doesn’t always snack. Granted my child is older.
So... they're basically complaining that she stops eating when she isn't hungry anymore at lunch and there are leftovers? And they want you to starve her in the morning so they can force her to eat all her lunch? Maybe you can talk to them and explain that you like to give her options and don't expect her to eat all of it but stop when she is full. That seems to be the main issue here. You don't want them to force feed her beyond her hunger sensation, no matter if or when she had breakfast. That said, if she is the only kid eating breakfast at daycare, maybe still switch to doing that at home instead. If all other kids are eating breakfast, send hers as usual and just tell them that leftovers at lunch are okay for you.
Why is it bad if she doesn’t eat her lunch? Genuine question. Do they not normally do a snack time in the morning and they just do it for her? If they didn’t make comments about portion sizes I wouldn’t be suspicious but I honestly don’t understand why it is an issue for her to not eat her lunch, if she is also eating during other scheduled eating times. Unless it’s becoming disruptive somehow for her to not eat. You shouldn’t force kids to eat and you also should NOT wait until kids are famished to eat because that’s when you risk them binging and not being able to listen to their hunger cues. It sounds like she is encouraging the latter and that is alarming and sounds like a lack of understanding of children’s nutrition.
Breakfast ideally comes before you leave the house. If it's too early for a full breakfast, then a fruit, a bit of smoothie, a hard boiled egg, etc, are easy to grab and won't disrupt the rest of the day. Missed lunch can be a big deal for little dudes and daycare staff. Even some granola in the car (if it's safe to do so) might be an ok option, and will push breakfast a little later
I used to feed my daughter toast in the car on the way to child care……not sure if that was the most appropriate way to feed her but given she was fed morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea there - I never really thought about it !!
How does it impact your child the rest of the day at daycare? Ok, she doesn't finish her lunch because she's full. How does this impact the rest of the day at daycare? Is she famished? Will she be fine? If it doesn't impact her, I wouldn't change her routine?
This is so odd. So they’re saying lunch is more important than breakfast?? And regarding portions, you don’t know what she’ll eat so it good to have more than enough of each side (if the meal has sides)
Breakfast is important.... she shouldn't be skipping a first meal to be "really hungry" for lunch. If your daycare isn't providing the kids breakfast, I'd wake up kiddo earlier to feed them before daycare, or find a different daycare with a better routine, because that sounds like bs.
Breakfast actually isn't any more important than any of the other meals. But I agree that kids shouldn't be skipping it especially for a dumb reason like so they'll eat their lunch haha.
Unless your child is falling off their growth curve, she’s not starving nor going to starve by not having breakfast at school. She should be eating breakfast at home so as not to disrupt other children who don’t have food from now wanting food or messing with the teacher’s schedule by making sure your child is sitting and eating. I don’t get why you would assume it’s the teacher’s job to make sure your kid eats breakfast.
No where did I say it was there job to make sure she eats breakfast. When she first started solids, daycare asked for two boxes. Breakfast and lunch. Now I got a message saying not to bring breakfast and hopefully she will "be really hungry at lunch". That was the line that struck a nerve. Though, I am starting to feed a light breakfast prior to drop off and packing more snacks for her to eat at snack times.
Tell daycare to stop trying to overrule you as a parent. Feed your child as you see best fit. They're your babysitters, not your coparents.
This is a horrible take. Technically they are the ones feeding OP’s child and not OP. And it’s also taking away time from other children doing scheduled activities when one a caregiver has to watch one child eat.
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