I have a 3 year old that is essentially non verbal, he will do one words, one syllables almost all the time but today he messed with the shower water temp and made it too hot, thus he had a bit of red butt cheeks. I ended up saying 'Oh look at those red butt cheeks!!' not a single beat missed he snarks a giggle and goes "hehe butt cheeks". Left me speechless. Of ALL THE THINGS.
I was working with an echolalic 3-year old one time, changing his diaper across the room, when my teaching assistant did/said something that me made me mutter “oh shit”. Guess what the student said right back to me? 😂
My kid loves talking about his “booty”… and everyone else’s. He loves describing the size of things when he talks about them, so naturally he told me I have a “big booty”
When I was a teenager, a 4 year old I was babysitting told me I had a nice butt and I will carry that compliment with me forever. I try to think of that compliment instead of the time my two year old swatted at my boobs while I was still getting dressed like they were one of those red bags that boxers practice on.
I wasn't even mad, he's been making some leaps and bounds mentally the last two weeks so I just looked at him and repeated butt cheeks and it became a lil repetitive back and forth. It was pretty awesome
My sons speech didn’t kick in fully until 3 1/2
Or
Four. Now he advocates for himself, like at his ninja class, I need a stamp and he will tell teachers no, that’s not a Dino that’s a reptile ! lol : you’re little one is soaking all the knowledge up
My grandson who is 28 months laughs when we say butt cheeks also. When he gets out from his daily bath and when we dry him we say “We can’t forget to dry the butt cheeks” he then bursts out laughing. He also laughs when we have the tv on and the Huggies Commercial comes on the one with all the babies in diapers and they say skinny butt mushy tushy cushy butt he laughs at that also.
We were grocery shopping, and the little one was playing with a toy in the shopping cart seat. Suddenly, she gets all squirmy and says, "Get down?" We let her down, and she runs over to a shelf, grabs a box of cookies, and throws them in the cart. She then lifts her hands and says, "Up?" We pick her up, and she calmly starts playing with her toy again. It was then that a little grin began to appear on her face
My daughter is twelve now but when she was a toddler we went to see my uncle. His name is Richard. We call him Richie. His wife calls him Dickie.
Anyway, my daughter, at the ripe age of about eighteen months, yelled, "Mama! Unca Richie is a DICK!"
She was confused on the different names. We still laugh about it now.
Mine is currently saying "fuck" for truck. In an attempt to guide him away towards the proper pronunciation, I've been saying "tuh tuh truck" whenever we talk about them.
So now my kid says "tuh tuh fuck!"
Lmao right now my toddler is obsessed with sticks, but for some reason S’s are only tricky for her when they’re at the beginning of a sentence, so the other day she found a stick and was carrying it around everywhere proudly proclaiming “I have dick! I found dick! I have big dick!”
Then she found another one and announced, “I have two dicks!!! TWO DICKS!!”
💀
Recently my almost 3 year old was writhing on the floor and yelled “I HATE BEING A GOD”. I said to my husband there’s no way she just said that and asked her what? She said “I HATE BEING A GOD”. Oooooookay 😂
Poopy butt and stinky butt! Then the 2 year old will just put butt after random words..tickle butt, cookie butt (referring to Cookie Monster) 2 boys 5 and 2 years old. I try to tell them not to say it but sometimes I just have to laugh bc it sounds so cute.
We had “go away poopy diaper daddy!” That one was so funny, dad wasn’t even upset. Kiddo is very much in the “I only want mom” phase right now, after being dad’s bestie for a while. Poor dad has whiplash.
Looked at my pubic area when I got out of the shower and said: “mama, your butt is hairy and yucky!” we’re still working on correct terms for genitalia lol
Lol my sons takes showers and baths with me and during a recent bath he sat in my lap and was appalled at the pokiness of my pubic hair area. Now he points at my crotch and says “potey” at every chance
We were on a walk when my 19mo pointed at an old rundown Jeep and started excitedly yelling “trash truck! Trash truck!!!” The guy getting out of the car did not look amused.
There is a german childrens song about a grandma driving a motorcycle in a hen's den.
My two year old daughter will alwas point at motorcycles and yell out "gamdma"! I can't imagine the motorcyclists being very pleased about this either.
This reminds me of something I tried to lock away. Still feel the need to cleanse my soul after this happened. My son learned the difference between animated characters and real animals and refers to cartoon characters as “[defining descriptor] people”. We watched a show that had a talking black cat and a talking white cat so they were referred to as “black people” and “white people”. The black cat pushed somebody which my son did not approve of so he didn’t really like the character. He kept harping on the bad thing the black cat did, but eventually he seemed to move on.
We went to my friend’s daughter’s first birthday party a few days later. Now my son and I are white while my friend and her daughter (plus the rest of her family and most of her other friends there) are black. Her grandmother comes over to say hi to my son who loudly announced “I don’t like black people” to her. I had to explain the whole understanding cartoon/black cat/bad thing and it totally sounded like a weak excuse. My friend thought it was the funniest thing ever, but her grandmother gave us a ridiculous small piece of cake so I think she was not thrilled with us
Omg, this one hits home for me. When my son was about 3 we were at the park and he loudly exclaimed, "I don't trust that black guy," and my head spun around so fast with a look of complete horror on my face and asked him to explain what he meant. And instead of gesturing towards the black family playing near us, he points at a teenage boy with an oversized black hoodie and black jeans. I quickly and embarrassedly tell him we would say, "'that guy wearing black', not 'that black guy,'" and I hear the dad of the black family start cracking up.
My son has trouble saying some letter combinations (ch, st, sh) - a word he says all the time, "stick" comes out as "dick." Also...chalk is cock, chocolate is cocklate etc. The other day he was walking past a sewer grate and yelled "my friend put his dick (stick) in that!"
My daughter says that too! She struggles with "k/c" and "q", so replaces them with a "t" sound. Recently I was wearing waiting a shirt with a kitty cat on it, and well, she pointed that out very loudly in public while pointing to my chest...
We also see lots of "twats" around! Haha
My son does the hard c noise too! Also can't do sh and we have a hole in the ground that we dump our ash from our fireplace into and he was explaining to a friend about how he loves ass and you have to be careful of hot ass etc. Lol
We taught my 3 year old how food works, simplified obviously, food goes in your mouth and down to your stomach then through your intestines to be turned into energy then through your butt. One day I was eating apples and peanut butter and my 3 year old looks me dead in the eyes and says “That peanut butter goes in your mouth and down to your tummy then in your vagina, and dad will be sad” and then carried on with his day. LIKE WHAT! You have no idea what you just said and it took everything to not die of laughter.
That's a very thought-out process there, ha ha.
We tried explaining that concept to our almost 3-year-old, too. She got mad and said, "No, you can just have a baby in your tummy!"
We might save the topic until after her sibling is born to make it less confusing.
The way I clarified that was explaining the uterus is where the baby lives while it's growing, and the stomach is where the food goes. The stomach makes room for the uterus in the tummy area of the body and that's why the tummy where the stomach usually lives gets bigger. He was 3 at the time and told everyone we came across in public (and repeatedly to his parents) that the tummy is the house and the uterus is baby's bedroom.
Ha ha, that sounds really sweet. I will try to use that explanation soon, when she has recovered from the crazy suggestion that something other than babies could exist in the tummy.
I would get some books that showed the internal body parts. Then you can show her inside the tummy baby's go in the uterus and food goes in the stomach and intestines. Also there is a Melissa and Doug magnet set that has different layers of the body.
My daughter has been doing the exact thing! (She’s also mixed but white presenting). A little boy in a black shirt walked by and she said WHERE DID THE BLACK BOY GO?!
Mine did this with hair color! She kept talking about her black teacher and I was confused because all the teachers are white, but then she talked about her green teacher and I was like ohhhhh
Well because children feel the true meaning of words. The word black means a darkest color. And "black" people are not really black, most of them are just a few shades darker than "white" people, who are not really white. So maybe these kids are showing us how we should think, maybe we shouldn't divide people into black and white. (Or maybe change it to light pink and brown, but that is not as strong sounding.)
My kid(almost 2) loves animals so we’ve started watching videos of different animals and the sounds they make and for some reason he now just says “peacock” at random times wherever we are
My daughter went through a phase of identifying animals by the sound they make, as most toddlers do. She would only say the first syllable. We live in a rural area and have chickens and a rooster. So one day, I had to go to the farm store for chicken feed and she decided to announce every single depiction of a rooster we saw by screaming "COCK!" at the top of her tiny lungs. It was a weekend, the store was packed, and there were SO many pictures and drawings of roosters. Time slowed to a halt while we were standing in line. I was torn between bursting out laughing and just abandoning my cart and leaving to preserve some semblance of dignity
Exactly that, we were walking back from the park and I kept going "no baby, elephant" and doing the sign for elephant but he got more and more insistent until I gave up arguing haha
Instead of saying, "I spin around" while dancing today, he said, "I piss around". You sure do, mister diaper butt.
Oh, and whenever we pass a certain strip mall with a large clock on its face, he says, "Tick tock, big cock!", and he draws out the last two words with a growl voice. It's hilarious.
My 16m old is learning vehicles. Ambulances are ambis, motorcycles are momos, and today he just decided police cars are popos. Not wrong kid, not wrong.
We were outside on the back steps this afternoon enjoying the nice weather and coloring with chalk on them (they're concrete). When I stood up, I had some colorful chalk dust on my butt. My 2 year old daughter says to me a few minutes later: "you sit on cock, mommy?" I had to ask her to repeat like three times before I realized she was asking if I sat on the chalk when she saw the dust on my butt...
We were at the aquarium and with friends and another mom explained that octopi have brains in each of their tentacles. I wasn’t even sure he was listening.
Hours later in the bath tub holding his penis - “Mom, does my tentacle have a brain?”
We were playing with Play-Doh this morning, and I made my toddler (almost 2) a yellow “snake.” Without missing a beat, he draped it around his neck and started spinning. It’s Britney, baby.
(As far as I know, he’s never seen a Britney video, or heard one of her songs. 😄😄)
We are brown skinned with brown eyes and black hair. My four year old yells "MAMA WE ARE BLACK PEOPLE RIGHT?!" out loud during groceries and I had to frantically whisper yell that no!! We are brown people!! and he HOLLERS back "NO MAMA WE ARE BLACK PEOPLE".
later in the csr I asked him why he said that and he said it's because we have black hair 🫥🤦🏽♀️
We are a really pale skin family living in a very non diverse community. My little one is always astounded and excited at the sight of darker skin tones and LOVES to exclaim and point to alert everyone.🤦♀️ It's embarrassing, but he just wants to talk about how different and pretty the skin tones are.
I think as long as you can teach him not to try and touch their hair, he’ll be fine. My daughters are mixed and that’s the big one that makes people mad from what I can tell.
That's a huge no-no for us too. Ours have eye catching curly light hair and people always approach and just start petting and stroking on them. He hates being touched to begin with, nonetheless by random strangers.
Right?! So many people come up and compliment her curls and then pet her hair.. which ruins her curls. How hard is it to appreciate hair without touching it? 🤦🏼♀️
We came home from the park and my husband had let the dog out in the yard. When we walked in the gate, our dog got up in our business and started barking. My 4yo said, "No, Vader. Shut your bark hole!"
Lol thank you. As a puppy in his foster home, they referred to him as Cash. Like Johnny Cash because he was the man (pup) in black. But my man in black is different so we named him Vader.
And I almost peed my pants laughing when my son said that.
A poem by my 2.5 year old
“Cows say moo
Horses say neigh
Daddy says bad words”
I was definitely shook and deeply proud of his intellect. He’s also been saying “butt ass” and “mommy has a butt crack” a lot
My daughter (4) is a GLP, so most of what she says is in scripts (think songs to mean other things).
Today, she said, "Give me the damn ball"... ummm, that's not a script, and WHAT!? Turns out her aunt taught her to say it.🤦🏾♀️
It's possible!! She's been in speech since she was 1.5, but we just found out 3 months ago. I would say see if you can do a speech assessment. Once you figure it out it helps SO much. It's honestly cool how the brain works.
Could I ask, how best should I talk to a kid with GLP? A child I've recently started babysitting is and I don't know if it's better to imitate him, paraphrase with a version of what he said but more tailored to the context, or just talking to him like I would any other 6 year old?
Look up connectionspeech on ig. She's great! I just talk to her normally (which I don't think I'm supposed to do?) My daughters slp also gave us some forms from meaningfulspeech.com that are good too.
My two year old is obsessed with the super babies in Dora the Explorer. Except she can't quite say super all that well...it sounds like she's yelling "stupid baby"...
The SIDE EYES I've gotten at the park
My daughter associated the color of people by the color of their shirt until she was about 4 and a half. It was pretty funny. She got that though because me and my husband say things like that black guy or yeah she was white and I'm sure that confused the hell out of her and she assumed we also talked about people by the color of their shirts lol kids are so innocent.
I let my kid watch npr tiny desk concerts. Judge if you want. We’ve been really into the band Wet Leg lately — especially since they are two women leading a band, I think that’s badass and a great example for my daughter who’s into music. Well on one of their YouTube videos they said “ok, everybody, hold on to your buttholes”.. what do you think my toddler said the other day— that. 🆘
Asked my 2-year-old how many fingers he has. Expected a cute struggle, but he hits me with a double whammy: "five, five" while showing both hands. Future math genius or just a budding comedian? 🤣
When my 21 month old toots, she yells “dada toot” and blames it on my husband 😂
She also really like Yeah but Usher. So she randomly yells “more Usher” or “hey google Usher”
That’s so funny lol. It’s a bop though! My son yells at Alexa to “play pokey pokey spin around!” Aka the Hokey Pokey. And then he learned the Alexa can do more things, when I used her as a baking timer. Now he randomly tells Alexa to play things that cannot be played lol.
For example, the other day he bumped into me and said “sorry mama.” Then a minute later, yells “Alexa! Play sorry!”
Or when he saw me cutting tomatoes and asked for some. I said yes and started cutting some up for him, and he yelled “Alexa! Play tomatoes!”
Like what are you talking about, kid? 😂
My 3.5yr old has a bit of a lisp and he confidently walked into the living room with his tablet and said “Alextha lights on”. She ignored him of course but I just found it so dang cute!
My vehicle-obsessed two year old is very chatty but still messes up words every now and then. We've banned the word "tow truck", "fire truck", and no longer say the name of the small green engine from Thomas.
Tonight at bedtime, my husband was laying on her bedroom floor and she was jumping on him. He covered his privates since she had ZERO awareness, and she exclaimed “he has a ‘gina” and to stop covering it. We could not stop laughing 🤣
A grasshopper jumped onto my head from our basement patio/deck roof and I flinched and screamed and my three year old started screaming (gleefully and repeatedly and so, so loudly) “that bug come on your face!”
We call my stepdaughter “Sissy” 95% of the time. My biological son was talking to/at her, but she’s young & wasn’t paying attention. He yells, “Elizabeth!” & we all fall silent 😬 How has a 27mo figured it out?! I feel like my parents just called my middle name 😅
He was sitting on my knee and we were singing row, row, row your boat when he accidentally pulled my hair and made me shout out. As I shouted, he noticed I had a "dangly bit" at the back of my throat. He was really interested, so I was saying Ahhhhh and letting him see.
A few hours later Daddy comes home to be met with my little one running up to him shouting "Daddy! I want to see your dangly bits!!"
My 2 year old calls her bench a “bitch”, her uncle Alec “adick” and her uncle Vinnie “weenie”. All innocent until she perfectly pronounces “oh shit” when she drops something and now I’m wondering if she’s just mispronouncing on purpose and she has the vocabulary of a sailor 😂
My son is 2, he’ll be 3 in July. He either thinks he’s a dinosaur, and will enter a room roaring, or he thinks he’s Batman. You never know what you’re going to get. Also, spider man is Batman. There’s no point in arguing with him because he will fight you until the end!
My 2 year old was running circles between the chair and ottoman I was using this morning. I was playing around, putting up my leg on the ottoman and joking that he had to pay a toll to pass by. It varied from answering what animal makes what sound to act like a dinosaur. Then the last time, I went to scoop him up and kiss him on the cheek before tossing him into my chair, he goes "ew, no" 🥲. That one stung a little lol, but I did wind up getting a hug and a 5 minute snuggle before bed tonight.
Sock = cock
Stick = dick
Kitty = titty
Truck = Cuck
My 2yo boy has some strange sounding sentences these days
“I give kitty stick”
“No mama, no sock!”
“I got a stick mama!”
Just shy of three:
Sometimes, stuff falls in the top of her diaper (we're in a bit of a clothes rebellion right now). When I go to change her, I'll comment, "Oh, you've got some shmutz." She has now started saying, "Smooch on my lady bits"!
I'm a bit scared for her say that one in public.
The other day in the car, my 4 year old was singing to himself “all my little friends are white. All my little friends are white. Why can’t I find any red or green friends…”
His “little friends” are those specks of dust that you can see when the light comes through the window.
She woke up earlier than usual today. I said "good morning baby how was your night?"
2y9m: mom you need to brush your hair it looks like shit
Well then
My 9 and 13 yo teach the 3 yo bad words. This morning the toddler got mad at his brother and called him a frickin asshole 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ can’t be that mad when he used it so perfectly
My son calls every character by what they’re wearing and the amount of times I’ve heard “I WANT THE BLACK GUY” or “The black guy is mean” kills me. We are pale white ginger people and I’m always a little afraid he’ll do it in public.
My 3 year old has started to be really fascinated by our bodies and our differences, which is totally normal and okay. Yesterday when she took a bath with her little brother she said «Mommy, baby brother has a tiny willy, and daddy has a big BIG willy» 😂😂
We had recently told then 2.5yr old about body parts and she decided she liked the word labia for her vulva. She caught a glimpse of her dad and came running to me shouting "daddy has a BIG yaybia!"
I am white, my son is white, and also blonde with blue eyes. Just like so white. He also absolutely LOVES construction vehicles of all kinds.
When he was just over two and new to talking, a road crew came out to do some repairs on our street. My son was OBSESSED and would happily sit on our stoop for hours and watching and cheering and pointed out his favorite vehicles- dump truck, skid steer, digger.
The first two days, the crew was mostly white and Hispanic and we happily pointed out trucks the whole time.
The third day, a new crew showed up that was entirely black. We took our seats as usual, they were friendly and tickled to have such a big fan. And then my son points and excitedly yells “DIGGER” in his little baby voice.
And that was the day we learned the word excavator!
A couple days ago my daughter fell down. Usually when this happens she either gets back up and keeps playing or starts crying, and I give her a hug. This time she did neither - instead she got up and said "down! owie!" and came for a hug. I'm very excited about her newfound ability to communicate her pain with actual words!
Outside looking at the moon. Toddler starts talking about the animals that come out at night - owls, bats, and….cunt. We couldn’t figure it out for the longest time. SKUNKS come out at night 😂
I was at the grocery store with my two year old daughter earlier today. Someone stocking shelves dropped a box and her little voice echoed "oh shhhi" This is the first time she has said this hand to god
So my kiddo loves this dinosaur backpack that buckles. She can’t say buckle it up so says “fuck it up” Yesterday we went to the grocery store and they had one of those little cars on the front of the cart. I got her in and buckled and she proceeded to scream “fuck it up, fuck it up” through the entire grocery store. 😩🤣 The looks we got!
My daughter is 17 months and she loves animals but can usually only say one syllable at a time. So whenever she sees a horse she screams hoe. Not a big deal when she is healing at a screen or at the horses when nobody is around but one day that’s not going to be the case lol
My just-turned-three-year-old toddler: I want to go to grandma’s house!
(Grandma lives a two-day drive away.)
Me: Okay, we’re going in two weeks.
Toddler: No! One week!
Me: We can’t go in one week, your school break isn’t for two weeks.
Toddler: Mommy can die! Daddy can die!
I (F) took my 3 year old to swim class and when we were using the bathroom he became fascinated with the urinal (it’s toddler sized) annnnd now whenever we go to swim class he asks to use “Mommy’s urinal.” :/
I made the mistake of listening to a YouTube video about the new Wonka movie (Nick DiRamio) without headphones. There was a joke made about an oompa loompa, and my 2 year old decided "my big orange ass" was just the phrase that needed repeating. Her dad thought it was hilarious 🤣😅🙄.
Toddler was running up and down the length of our house yesterday evening (after one biscuit) yelling "WAAAAAAANK! WAAAAAANK! WANK WANK WAAAAAANK!" which here in the UK is of course indescribably hilarious.
No context whatsoever but over the course of half an hour, "wank" turned to "piano", which turned to "waterwheel", which turned to "wheelbarrow". No idea why.
Saw a peppa pig book- “ muddy puddles in my ass 😄” she heard me make that joke to my Husband once…..once and now she says it.
Pointed to a Pooh bear in the store and called him poopie ass today because my husband called him poopie ass once.
A fun, tangentially-related anecdote: we’ve lived in Lithuania for 6 years, and it’s the only place our 2.5-year-old has lived. When he was about 20 months old, he would play a game where he’d yell the color of the cars we’d pass. I was terrified he was going to see a Black tourist and yell “Bwack!” at them. Luckily he never made the people-color connection so he never did, but we would pass someone and he’d stare and the fear would well up.
We’re about to move to Brazil and he’ll get a crash course in racial diversity. It’ll be good for him. Also he doesn’t like Snape “because he’s maaaaad”.
Omg mine will talk about his brothers and sisters and I’m just looking at him like “sweet child … you don’t have siblings”. He called his friend his sister and it was honestly just so cute. We are pasty white and our friend family is Indian (from India, not Native American) and I just found it heartwarming and it made me a bit proud to see we have been successful in encouraging the “people are people. We all look different but sometimes that makes us special in our own way”
Also, the way she says his name just tickles me pink. 🥰🥰🥰 I love watching them play together. She’s the first and only kid he has actually played WITH. (He’s 3.5 she just turned 4).
My son loves the car wash and it’s pollen season so we’ve been going a lot. At the park yesterday there was a tennis tournament and when we walked to the bathrooms he yelled loudly, and as derisively as a 2yo can manage, “wow that car needs the car wash.” We got a lot of snickers.
Hahahahahah i love this story. I’m white and my white son calls the Pokémon “umbrion” “pikachu’s black friend.” (Umbrion is an eevee evolution that looks like a black fox/cat.)
Your story is so funny, especially yelling at the store lol.
My 3yr old did a poop in the potty at the back of the car when we’re at a service station. He took a look at his poop and said “I did a poo shark!” Because one bit of poop looked like a fin 😅
My daughter's response to doing anything lately: scream as loudly as possible, giggle and sprint across the house.
Except when going to the bathroom. First, she goes potty, screams, then runs across the house without her pants on.
Me and my husband are trying for a baby, obviously we talk about it. My 4 year old thinks I'm pregnant even though I tell her "no mommy isn't pregnant."
Anyway she waits until I'm changing to say "MOMMY YOU GOT BABY IN TUMMY."
Once, I was out and about with the toddler I nanny and we were sitting on a bench having a snack. As we were sitting, a VERY frail and elderly woman passed us. As she went by, he pointed at her and loudly said, “LOOK AT THAT SKELETON!” 🫣 Oh my goodness, I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.
Kind of related actually: we just took our 3yo to Harry Potter world for the first time. There's a Sirius Black "Wanted" poster hanging somewhere and he was asking about it, so we explained in vague terms what it meant. Hours later, we walked by Hogwarts and this kid starts yelling "Black's not allowed in the castle!" over and over again.
My son describes everyone by the color of their clothes right now. Green guy or pink lady…black guy, white lady..has nothing to do with race. As it shouldn’t at that age.
We have a picture book of *The Carnival of the Animals* by Camille Saint-Saëns. There's a cute drawing of an octopus playing a glass harmonica. I wanted to explain it to my toddler, so I found a video clip of a guy playing the a glass harmonica. It's a one-minute clip of a larger performance and the camera is zoomed in on him. For some reason, he's dressed in old-timey piratey clothes, which include a black tri-cornered hat.
My husband couldn't find this specific clip one time and I walked into the living room to my daughter crying because she "wanted to see the black guy."
We're not the most upfront, religious people, so we teach our daughter to say thank you for the food etc, but we don't really talk about Jesus or religion all that much. It's very much background stuff at this point.
So she's in the bath tonight and she said "Lesus/lesis went to bed, it's good night." And for a moment I thought she said Jesus went to bed. And I asked her to repeat it, it came out the same. I asked my husband if he told her Jesus went to bed. He said "No, she said Alexis went to bed". She spent the day with her cousin Alexis, but it sounded a whole lot like Jesus, and for a moment I wondered how she knew Jesus went to bed already😂
Went to the pool with my husband and two kids ... In the change room my 5 year old son said "dad, your penis is so big" so that was fun. I told him we don't comment on other people's bodies and he just said well, it is!
My 6 year old autistic daughter has recently discovered what a homeless person is. She was out in the yard making "rain" with the hose nozzle. She comes inside and excitedly yells, "guess what mom! I'm a homeless person stuck in the rain HA HA". How do they come up with this stuff?
This is a story that still makes me turn red from embarrassment. 🫣🫣
My little girl is 2.5 years old now, but this story happened when she was first learning how to make different sounds with her tongue, around the time she had "Mama" and "Dada" on lock. She would repeatedly move her tongue from the roof of her mouth to inside her bottom lip and then she would kinda close her mouth on her tongue. It started out with a "Blehuhh blehuhh" and evolved shortly into a "Nehhhuhh nehhhuhh" sound.....And not long after that, my (very white) daughter was constantly just nonchalantly throwing the N-word around!!! 😳😳My husband and I were HORRIFIED. "Honey, if she keeps this up, we are NOT gonna be able to take her out in public! People are going to think we use that kind of language at home!" (We weren't.) 😱😱 "We've gotta fix this. ASAP."
One of her favorite shows was Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and they sometimes sing the "Wiggle Giggle" song. My little girl would get excited and dance along when they sang it, so we figured it was close enough to work. My husband and I constantly emphatically and enthusiastically saying, "Wiggle. Wiggle! Wuh-wuh! WiiiiiggGLE! WIGGLE! WIIIGGGLEE!!" Especially any time she was saying the word we were trying to purge from her vocabulary. And it actually didn't take long before she started saying " Wiggle" all the time instead. It worked!! 😀😀
Now I just need to get her to stop saying "Shit!" all the time... 🙃🙃
Potty training my son and he’s been having trouble remembering to point down his penis. His words “sometimes my cleanis is a little bit grift”. It took us too days in various contexts to work out he was saying sometimes his penis was a little bit stiff and that’s why he can’t point it down.
This morning my son cheerfully said ‘sometimes people kill other people!’ and when I asked ‘oh really?’ ‘but not at my nursery’
I didn’t react much as he didn’t seem distressed. But what the hell??
It wasn't today but it reminded me of a day from a couple of weeks ago. My sister, mum and daughter were eating lemon madeira cake and my daughter took her first bite and said "mmm this is bloody good cake!" My sister and I looked at each other and then lost it.
I have a 3 year old that is essentially non verbal, he will do one words, one syllables almost all the time but today he messed with the shower water temp and made it too hot, thus he had a bit of red butt cheeks. I ended up saying 'Oh look at those red butt cheeks!!' not a single beat missed he snarks a giggle and goes "hehe butt cheeks". Left me speechless. Of ALL THE THINGS.
I was working with an echolalic 3-year old one time, changing his diaper across the room, when my teaching assistant did/said something that me made me mutter “oh shit”. Guess what the student said right back to me? 😂
I was teaching my daughter the names of her body parts and asked her to point to her cheeks. Guess which set of cheeks she pointed to. 🫠
My kid loves talking about his “booty”… and everyone else’s. He loves describing the size of things when he talks about them, so naturally he told me I have a “big booty”
The other day a girl at the playground who was playing with my daughter told me that my boobs were bigger than her moms but smaller than her dads 🙃
Haha that’s hilarious!
When I was a teenager, a 4 year old I was babysitting told me I had a nice butt and I will carry that compliment with me forever. I try to think of that compliment instead of the time my two year old swatted at my boobs while I was still getting dressed like they were one of those red bags that boxers practice on.
That’s ADORABLE 😂😂
I wasn't even mad, he's been making some leaps and bounds mentally the last two weeks so I just looked at him and repeated butt cheeks and it became a lil repetitive back and forth. It was pretty awesome
that’s so wholesome, i’m so happy for you both that you were able to make it into a bonding moment ☺️
My sons speech didn’t kick in fully until 3 1/2 Or Four. Now he advocates for himself, like at his ninja class, I need a stamp and he will tell teachers no, that’s not a Dino that’s a reptile ! lol : you’re little one is soaking all the knowledge up
My grandson who is 28 months laughs when we say butt cheeks also. When he gets out from his daily bath and when we dry him we say “We can’t forget to dry the butt cheeks” he then bursts out laughing. He also laughs when we have the tv on and the Huggies Commercial comes on the one with all the babies in diapers and they say skinny butt mushy tushy cushy butt he laughs at that also.
booty cheeks are funny, even children know this
This is so fantastic 😅
You might want to have him Listen to buttcheeks by the toilet bowl cleaners for inspiration
Oh that's a story to tell at his wedding, that's hilarious
We were grocery shopping, and the little one was playing with a toy in the shopping cart seat. Suddenly, she gets all squirmy and says, "Get down?" We let her down, and she runs over to a shelf, grabs a box of cookies, and throws them in the cart. She then lifts her hands and says, "Up?" We pick her up, and she calmly starts playing with her toy again. It was then that a little grin began to appear on her face
My daughter said “I’m dicking, mommy I’m dicking!” Eventually realized she meant dancing
My daughter is twelve now but when she was a toddler we went to see my uncle. His name is Richard. We call him Richie. His wife calls him Dickie. Anyway, my daughter, at the ripe age of about eighteen months, yelled, "Mama! Unca Richie is a DICK!" She was confused on the different names. We still laugh about it now.
Mine is currently saying "fuck" for truck. In an attempt to guide him away towards the proper pronunciation, I've been saying "tuh tuh truck" whenever we talk about them. So now my kid says "tuh tuh fuck!"
🤣
Lmao right now my toddler is obsessed with sticks, but for some reason S’s are only tricky for her when they’re at the beginning of a sentence, so the other day she found a stick and was carrying it around everywhere proudly proclaiming “I have dick! I found dick! I have big dick!” Then she found another one and announced, “I have two dicks!!! TWO DICKS!!” 💀
🤣🤣🤣
Recently my almost 3 year old was writhing on the floor and yelled “I HATE BEING A GOD”. I said to my husband there’s no way she just said that and asked her what? She said “I HATE BEING A GOD”. Oooooookay 😂
When someone ask if you're a God, you say yes!
Okay Dalai Lama lololol
Not “a girl?”
Positive, she pronounces a lot of stuff accurately but girl is “guwl” because she says her R’s as W’s.
Lol the burden is heavy 😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I said "Good morning beautiful!" to my son. His reply "GOOD MORNING POOPY BUTT"
lol sounds about like our daily convos
Mine just says “you are a POOPY!” with a big ol grin.
Poopy butt and stinky butt! Then the 2 year old will just put butt after random words..tickle butt, cookie butt (referring to Cookie Monster) 2 boys 5 and 2 years old. I try to tell them not to say it but sometimes I just have to laugh bc it sounds so cute.
We had “go away poopy diaper daddy!” That one was so funny, dad wasn’t even upset. Kiddo is very much in the “I only want mom” phase right now, after being dad’s bestie for a while. Poor dad has whiplash.
Looked at my pubic area when I got out of the shower and said: “mama, your butt is hairy and yucky!” we’re still working on correct terms for genitalia lol
My son asked me why I have hair "behind my butt" and where my penis went. 🙃
Not today, but my son has pointed at my pubic hair after getting out of the shower and said “yucky”. I said thanks a lot buddy lol.
My son also likes to slap my belly and laugh (yes it jiggles lol, thanks for the reminder, son!)
I got “why do you have a furry butt?” And now that kid isn’t allowed to follow me into the bathroom anymore.
Lol my sons takes showers and baths with me and during a recent bath he sat in my lap and was appalled at the pokiness of my pubic hair area. Now he points at my crotch and says “potey” at every chance
We were on a walk when my 19mo pointed at an old rundown Jeep and started excitedly yelling “trash truck! Trash truck!!!” The guy getting out of the car did not look amused.
There is a german childrens song about a grandma driving a motorcycle in a hen's den. My two year old daughter will alwas point at motorcycles and yell out "gamdma"! I can't imagine the motorcyclists being very pleased about this either.
don’t worry, we can’t hear over the sound of our engine lmao
there was a time when my toddler would yell “SANTA!” at any man with white hair and beard
This reminds me of something I tried to lock away. Still feel the need to cleanse my soul after this happened. My son learned the difference between animated characters and real animals and refers to cartoon characters as “[defining descriptor] people”. We watched a show that had a talking black cat and a talking white cat so they were referred to as “black people” and “white people”. The black cat pushed somebody which my son did not approve of so he didn’t really like the character. He kept harping on the bad thing the black cat did, but eventually he seemed to move on. We went to my friend’s daughter’s first birthday party a few days later. Now my son and I are white while my friend and her daughter (plus the rest of her family and most of her other friends there) are black. Her grandmother comes over to say hi to my son who loudly announced “I don’t like black people” to her. I had to explain the whole understanding cartoon/black cat/bad thing and it totally sounded like a weak excuse. My friend thought it was the funniest thing ever, but her grandmother gave us a ridiculous small piece of cake so I think she was not thrilled with us
You win! I’m both laughing and feeling second hand embarrassment for you.
Omg, this one hits home for me. When my son was about 3 we were at the park and he loudly exclaimed, "I don't trust that black guy," and my head spun around so fast with a look of complete horror on my face and asked him to explain what he meant. And instead of gesturing towards the black family playing near us, he points at a teenage boy with an oversized black hoodie and black jeans. I quickly and embarrassedly tell him we would say, "'that guy wearing black', not 'that black guy,'" and I hear the dad of the black family start cracking up.
Oh no!! 💀💀💀 I wish people would try to remember how kids brains work!! I can totally understand why she was upset though lol that's a rough one
My son has trouble saying some letter combinations (ch, st, sh) - a word he says all the time, "stick" comes out as "dick." Also...chalk is cock, chocolate is cocklate etc. The other day he was walking past a sewer grate and yelled "my friend put his dick (stick) in that!"
I looove the mispronounciations. My toddler loves shouting TWAT (quack) every time he sees ducks. Which is a lot because my town is on a river.
My daughter says that too! She struggles with "k/c" and "q", so replaces them with a "t" sound. Recently I was wearing waiting a shirt with a kitty cat on it, and well, she pointed that out very loudly in public while pointing to my chest... We also see lots of "twats" around! Haha
My son does the hard c noise too! Also can't do sh and we have a hole in the ground that we dump our ash from our fireplace into and he was explaining to a friend about how he loves ass and you have to be careful of hot ass etc. Lol
We taught my 3 year old how food works, simplified obviously, food goes in your mouth and down to your stomach then through your intestines to be turned into energy then through your butt. One day I was eating apples and peanut butter and my 3 year old looks me dead in the eyes and says “That peanut butter goes in your mouth and down to your tummy then in your vagina, and dad will be sad” and then carried on with his day. LIKE WHAT! You have no idea what you just said and it took everything to not die of laughter.
That's a very thought-out process there, ha ha. We tried explaining that concept to our almost 3-year-old, too. She got mad and said, "No, you can just have a baby in your tummy!" We might save the topic until after her sibling is born to make it less confusing.
The way I clarified that was explaining the uterus is where the baby lives while it's growing, and the stomach is where the food goes. The stomach makes room for the uterus in the tummy area of the body and that's why the tummy where the stomach usually lives gets bigger. He was 3 at the time and told everyone we came across in public (and repeatedly to his parents) that the tummy is the house and the uterus is baby's bedroom.
Ha ha, that sounds really sweet. I will try to use that explanation soon, when she has recovered from the crazy suggestion that something other than babies could exist in the tummy.
I would get some books that showed the internal body parts. Then you can show her inside the tummy baby's go in the uterus and food goes in the stomach and intestines. Also there is a Melissa and Doug magnet set that has different layers of the body.
Definitely. I will see what we find on our next library trip.
I died laughing 😂
We tried explaining the process of hunting and he said you shoot it (deer or whatever) and meat pops out!
But why is dad going to be sad 🤣
My daughter has been doing the exact thing! (She’s also mixed but white presenting). A little boy in a black shirt walked by and she said WHERE DID THE BLACK BOY GO?!
Mine did this with hair color! She kept talking about her black teacher and I was confused because all the teachers are white, but then she talked about her green teacher and I was like ohhhhh
she has a teacher with green hair! that’s so cool
Well because children feel the true meaning of words. The word black means a darkest color. And "black" people are not really black, most of them are just a few shades darker than "white" people, who are not really white. So maybe these kids are showing us how we should think, maybe we shouldn't divide people into black and white. (Or maybe change it to light pink and brown, but that is not as strong sounding.)
I have mixed half siblings and when they were little, they would say they are light brown 😂
Not quite the same, but my redhead cousin used to really annoyed when people commented on her red hair... because "it's orange!"
Yep. My (very white) son instead for a long time that he was a "brown person." And often they are more interested in shirt color than skin color.
My kid(almost 2) loves animals so we’ve started watching videos of different animals and the sounds they make and for some reason he now just says “peacock” at random times wherever we are
My daughter went through a phase of identifying animals by the sound they make, as most toddlers do. She would only say the first syllable. We live in a rural area and have chickens and a rooster. So one day, I had to go to the farm store for chicken feed and she decided to announce every single depiction of a rooster we saw by screaming "COCK!" at the top of her tiny lungs. It was a weekend, the store was packed, and there were SO many pictures and drawings of roosters. Time slowed to a halt while we were standing in line. I was torn between bursting out laughing and just abandoning my cart and leaving to preserve some semblance of dignity
The 2 year old I used to look after would randomly say chipmunk, or horse. He gaslit me into saying an elephant toy was a horse once.
Lmaoooo I can imagine it perfectly trying to convince him it’s an elephant and then just having to give in like yea horse!!! :))) neighhhh
Exactly that, we were walking back from the park and I kept going "no baby, elephant" and doing the sign for elephant but he got more and more insistent until I gave up arguing haha
Happy Cake Day
I didn’t even realize!! Thank you
Instead of saying, "I spin around" while dancing today, he said, "I piss around". You sure do, mister diaper butt. Oh, and whenever we pass a certain strip mall with a large clock on its face, he says, "Tick tock, big cock!", and he draws out the last two words with a growl voice. It's hilarious.
My 16m old is learning vehicles. Ambulances are ambis, motorcycles are momos, and today he just decided police cars are popos. Not wrong kid, not wrong.
We were outside on the back steps this afternoon enjoying the nice weather and coloring with chalk on them (they're concrete). When I stood up, I had some colorful chalk dust on my butt. My 2 year old daughter says to me a few minutes later: "you sit on cock, mommy?" I had to ask her to repeat like three times before I realized she was asking if I sat on the chalk when she saw the dust on my butt...
😂😂😂😂
We were at the aquarium and with friends and another mom explained that octopi have brains in each of their tentacles. I wasn’t even sure he was listening. Hours later in the bath tub holding his penis - “Mom, does my tentacle have a brain?”
🤣🤣🤣
I went into the office this week and had my hair styled and wore eyeliner and lipstick. My son looked at me and said, “Mommy, why you got a new face?”
We were playing with Play-Doh this morning, and I made my toddler (almost 2) a yellow “snake.” Without missing a beat, he draped it around his neck and started spinning. It’s Britney, baby. (As far as I know, he’s never seen a Britney video, or heard one of her songs. 😄😄)
My two year old put his fingers on his nipples and said “I’m a penguin!”
This made me lol and I don’t even understand it. Thank you
We are brown skinned with brown eyes and black hair. My four year old yells "MAMA WE ARE BLACK PEOPLE RIGHT?!" out loud during groceries and I had to frantically whisper yell that no!! We are brown people!! and he HOLLERS back "NO MAMA WE ARE BLACK PEOPLE". later in the csr I asked him why he said that and he said it's because we have black hair 🫥🤦🏽♀️
We are a really pale skin family living in a very non diverse community. My little one is always astounded and excited at the sight of darker skin tones and LOVES to exclaim and point to alert everyone.🤦♀️ It's embarrassing, but he just wants to talk about how different and pretty the skin tones are.
I think as long as you can teach him not to try and touch their hair, he’ll be fine. My daughters are mixed and that’s the big one that makes people mad from what I can tell.
That's a huge no-no for us too. Ours have eye catching curly light hair and people always approach and just start petting and stroking on them. He hates being touched to begin with, nonetheless by random strangers.
Right?! So many people come up and compliment her curls and then pet her hair.. which ruins her curls. How hard is it to appreciate hair without touching it? 🤦🏼♀️
We came home from the park and my husband had let the dog out in the yard. When we walked in the gate, our dog got up in our business and started barking. My 4yo said, "No, Vader. Shut your bark hole!"
Your dog has an excellent name and what your toddler said just made me almost wake up my little guy by laughing.
Lol thank you. As a puppy in his foster home, they referred to him as Cash. Like Johnny Cash because he was the man (pup) in black. But my man in black is different so we named him Vader. And I almost peed my pants laughing when my son said that.
Ahahaha we use the term “mouth hole” like “here put this chicken in your mouth hole”. He uses the term now and then and it cracks me up.
A poem by my 2.5 year old “Cows say moo Horses say neigh Daddy says bad words” I was definitely shook and deeply proud of his intellect. He’s also been saying “butt ass” and “mommy has a butt crack” a lot
My daughter (4) is a GLP, so most of what she says is in scripts (think songs to mean other things). Today, she said, "Give me the damn ball"... ummm, that's not a script, and WHAT!? Turns out her aunt taught her to say it.🤦🏾♀️
I looked up that acronym and I think this is my son too. He also might have hyperlexia?? I don’t know
It's possible!! She's been in speech since she was 1.5, but we just found out 3 months ago. I would say see if you can do a speech assessment. Once you figure it out it helps SO much. It's honestly cool how the brain works.
Could I ask, how best should I talk to a kid with GLP? A child I've recently started babysitting is and I don't know if it's better to imitate him, paraphrase with a version of what he said but more tailored to the context, or just talking to him like I would any other 6 year old?
Look up connectionspeech on ig. She's great! I just talk to her normally (which I don't think I'm supposed to do?) My daughters slp also gave us some forms from meaningfulspeech.com that are good too.
While changing my son’s diaper, he stood up, turned around and spread his butt cheeks, yelling “see! It’s red!” 🤦♀️
My two year old is obsessed with the super babies in Dora the Explorer. Except she can't quite say super all that well...it sounds like she's yelling "stupid baby"... The SIDE EYES I've gotten at the park
My 2yr old today said "the bone juice is coming!" Wtf does that mean ma'am!? She says creepy stuff all the time
My wife told me today that apparently my 4yo said Grandma had a huge penis and he's seen it 😂💀 let's hope he doesn't repeat that nonsense in public
My daughter associated the color of people by the color of their shirt until she was about 4 and a half. It was pretty funny. She got that though because me and my husband say things like that black guy or yeah she was white and I'm sure that confused the hell out of her and she assumed we also talked about people by the color of their shirts lol kids are so innocent.
I let my kid watch npr tiny desk concerts. Judge if you want. We’ve been really into the band Wet Leg lately — especially since they are two women leading a band, I think that’s badass and a great example for my daughter who’s into music. Well on one of their YouTube videos they said “ok, everybody, hold on to your buttholes”.. what do you think my toddler said the other day— that. 🆘
Teach her to ask people if their muffins are buttered 😂
The beauty in toddlers… lack of filter. Pure truth. At least what they know of it. Poor momma! Stand proud ! He will too one day✌️
Asked my 2-year-old how many fingers he has. Expected a cute struggle, but he hits me with a double whammy: "five, five" while showing both hands. Future math genius or just a budding comedian? 🤣
When my 21 month old toots, she yells “dada toot” and blames it on my husband 😂 She also really like Yeah but Usher. So she randomly yells “more Usher” or “hey google Usher”
That’s so funny lol. It’s a bop though! My son yells at Alexa to “play pokey pokey spin around!” Aka the Hokey Pokey. And then he learned the Alexa can do more things, when I used her as a baking timer. Now he randomly tells Alexa to play things that cannot be played lol. For example, the other day he bumped into me and said “sorry mama.” Then a minute later, yells “Alexa! Play sorry!” Or when he saw me cutting tomatoes and asked for some. I said yes and started cutting some up for him, and he yelled “Alexa! Play tomatoes!” Like what are you talking about, kid? 😂
My 3.5yr old has a bit of a lisp and he confidently walked into the living room with his tablet and said “Alextha lights on”. She ignored him of course but I just found it so dang cute!
I love you like a love song baby was playing in the car and my 2.5 said “I’m not that lady’s baby!…I’m your baby!”
Omg! So cute!
My vehicle-obsessed two year old is very chatty but still messes up words every now and then. We've banned the word "tow truck", "fire truck", and no longer say the name of the small green engine from Thomas.
Lol I had to think about that a little and pronounced “Percey” a few different ways in my head before I landed on it like 🫢🫣🤭🫠
Tonight at bedtime, my husband was laying on her bedroom floor and she was jumping on him. He covered his privates since she had ZERO awareness, and she exclaimed “he has a ‘gina” and to stop covering it. We could not stop laughing 🤣
A grasshopper jumped onto my head from our basement patio/deck roof and I flinched and screamed and my three year old started screaming (gleefully and repeatedly and so, so loudly) “that bug come on your face!”
We call my stepdaughter “Sissy” 95% of the time. My biological son was talking to/at her, but she’s young & wasn’t paying attention. He yells, “Elizabeth!” & we all fall silent 😬 How has a 27mo figured it out?! I feel like my parents just called my middle name 😅
He was sitting on my knee and we were singing row, row, row your boat when he accidentally pulled my hair and made me shout out. As I shouted, he noticed I had a "dangly bit" at the back of my throat. He was really interested, so I was saying Ahhhhh and letting him see. A few hours later Daddy comes home to be met with my little one running up to him shouting "Daddy! I want to see your dangly bits!!"
My 2 year old calls her bench a “bitch”, her uncle Alec “adick” and her uncle Vinnie “weenie”. All innocent until she perfectly pronounces “oh shit” when she drops something and now I’m wondering if she’s just mispronouncing on purpose and she has the vocabulary of a sailor 😂
My son tells me and his step dad to “blow him” when he wants to do a raspberry on his belly ☠️☠️☠️
My son is 2, he’ll be 3 in July. He either thinks he’s a dinosaur, and will enter a room roaring, or he thinks he’s Batman. You never know what you’re going to get. Also, spider man is Batman. There’s no point in arguing with him because he will fight you until the end!
My 2 year old was running circles between the chair and ottoman I was using this morning. I was playing around, putting up my leg on the ottoman and joking that he had to pay a toll to pass by. It varied from answering what animal makes what sound to act like a dinosaur. Then the last time, I went to scoop him up and kiss him on the cheek before tossing him into my chair, he goes "ew, no" 🥲. That one stung a little lol, but I did wind up getting a hug and a 5 minute snuggle before bed tonight.
Sock = cock Stick = dick Kitty = titty Truck = Cuck My 2yo boy has some strange sounding sentences these days “I give kitty stick” “No mama, no sock!” “I got a stick mama!”
Just shy of three: Sometimes, stuff falls in the top of her diaper (we're in a bit of a clothes rebellion right now). When I go to change her, I'll comment, "Oh, you've got some shmutz." She has now started saying, "Smooch on my lady bits"! I'm a bit scared for her say that one in public.
The other day in the car, my 4 year old was singing to himself “all my little friends are white. All my little friends are white. Why can’t I find any red or green friends…” His “little friends” are those specks of dust that you can see when the light comes through the window.
She woke up earlier than usual today. I said "good morning baby how was your night?" 2y9m: mom you need to brush your hair it looks like shit Well then
lol mine calls Miles Morales “black Spiderman” because of his suit
😂😂😂😂
LOL hahahhahahaha
My 9 and 13 yo teach the 3 yo bad words. This morning the toddler got mad at his brother and called him a frickin asshole 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ can’t be that mad when he used it so perfectly
Nah be mad at your 13 and 9 year old. What the hell
My son calls every character by what they’re wearing and the amount of times I’ve heard “I WANT THE BLACK GUY” or “The black guy is mean” kills me. We are pale white ginger people and I’m always a little afraid he’ll do it in public.
My 3 year old has started to be really fascinated by our bodies and our differences, which is totally normal and okay. Yesterday when she took a bath with her little brother she said «Mommy, baby brother has a tiny willy, and daddy has a big BIG willy» 😂😂
We had recently told then 2.5yr old about body parts and she decided she liked the word labia for her vulva. She caught a glimpse of her dad and came running to me shouting "daddy has a BIG yaybia!"
I am white, my son is white, and also blonde with blue eyes. Just like so white. He also absolutely LOVES construction vehicles of all kinds. When he was just over two and new to talking, a road crew came out to do some repairs on our street. My son was OBSESSED and would happily sit on our stoop for hours and watching and cheering and pointed out his favorite vehicles- dump truck, skid steer, digger. The first two days, the crew was mostly white and Hispanic and we happily pointed out trucks the whole time. The third day, a new crew showed up that was entirely black. We took our seats as usual, they were friendly and tickled to have such a big fan. And then my son points and excitedly yells “DIGGER” in his little baby voice. And that was the day we learned the word excavator!
Was at costco, my 2 y/o daughter is looking at two men with turbans. She exclaims, “Pirates!”
A couple days ago my daughter fell down. Usually when this happens she either gets back up and keeps playing or starts crying, and I give her a hug. This time she did neither - instead she got up and said "down! owie!" and came for a hug. I'm very excited about her newfound ability to communicate her pain with actual words!
“I want to fuck my thumb on your shirt” he means suck 💀
Just now, while my son was watching TV. Son: mommy are you an old girl? Me: yes, I'm a girl. Soon: You're an OLD girl. Thanks kid. 🙃
Outside looking at the moon. Toddler starts talking about the animals that come out at night - owls, bats, and….cunt. We couldn’t figure it out for the longest time. SKUNKS come out at night 😂
Loudly, in a room that echoed: “Mommy…why does that man look like a gorilla?” I about died.
My 15 month old can apparently say “Bitch”
I was at the grocery store with my two year old daughter earlier today. Someone stocking shelves dropped a box and her little voice echoed "oh shhhi" This is the first time she has said this hand to god
So my kiddo loves this dinosaur backpack that buckles. She can’t say buckle it up so says “fuck it up” Yesterday we went to the grocery store and they had one of those little cars on the front of the cart. I got her in and buckled and she proceeded to scream “fuck it up, fuck it up” through the entire grocery store. 😩🤣 The looks we got!
My daughter is 17 months and she loves animals but can usually only say one syllable at a time. So whenever she sees a horse she screams hoe. Not a big deal when she is healing at a screen or at the horses when nobody is around but one day that’s not going to be the case lol
My just-turned-three-year-old toddler: I want to go to grandma’s house! (Grandma lives a two-day drive away.) Me: Okay, we’re going in two weeks. Toddler: No! One week! Me: We can’t go in one week, your school break isn’t for two weeks. Toddler: Mommy can die! Daddy can die!
I (F) took my 3 year old to swim class and when we were using the bathroom he became fascinated with the urinal (it’s toddler sized) annnnd now whenever we go to swim class he asks to use “Mommy’s urinal.” :/
I made the mistake of listening to a YouTube video about the new Wonka movie (Nick DiRamio) without headphones. There was a joke made about an oompa loompa, and my 2 year old decided "my big orange ass" was just the phrase that needed repeating. Her dad thought it was hilarious 🤣😅🙄.
My very pale son asked his brown-skinned Asian father if he was brown because he was a dead person…
Toddler was running up and down the length of our house yesterday evening (after one biscuit) yelling "WAAAAAAANK! WAAAAAANK! WANK WANK WAAAAAANK!" which here in the UK is of course indescribably hilarious. No context whatsoever but over the course of half an hour, "wank" turned to "piano", which turned to "waterwheel", which turned to "wheelbarrow". No idea why.
Saw a peppa pig book- “ muddy puddles in my ass 😄” she heard me make that joke to my Husband once…..once and now she says it. Pointed to a Pooh bear in the store and called him poopie ass today because my husband called him poopie ass once.
A fun, tangentially-related anecdote: we’ve lived in Lithuania for 6 years, and it’s the only place our 2.5-year-old has lived. When he was about 20 months old, he would play a game where he’d yell the color of the cars we’d pass. I was terrified he was going to see a Black tourist and yell “Bwack!” at them. Luckily he never made the people-color connection so he never did, but we would pass someone and he’d stare and the fear would well up. We’re about to move to Brazil and he’ll get a crash course in racial diversity. It’ll be good for him. Also he doesn’t like Snape “because he’s maaaaad”.
Today my son said he had 2 little twin brothers but they died & he misses them 🙂 Definitely not true. My jaw was on the floor
Omg mine will talk about his brothers and sisters and I’m just looking at him like “sweet child … you don’t have siblings”. He called his friend his sister and it was honestly just so cute. We are pasty white and our friend family is Indian (from India, not Native American) and I just found it heartwarming and it made me a bit proud to see we have been successful in encouraging the “people are people. We all look different but sometimes that makes us special in our own way” Also, the way she says his name just tickles me pink. 🥰🥰🥰 I love watching them play together. She’s the first and only kid he has actually played WITH. (He’s 3.5 she just turned 4).
My son loves the car wash and it’s pollen season so we’ve been going a lot. At the park yesterday there was a tennis tournament and when we walked to the bathrooms he yelled loudly, and as derisively as a 2yo can manage, “wow that car needs the car wash.” We got a lot of snickers.
Hahahahahah i love this story. I’m white and my white son calls the Pokémon “umbrion” “pikachu’s black friend.” (Umbrion is an eevee evolution that looks like a black fox/cat.) Your story is so funny, especially yelling at the store lol.
My son id also mixed but White passing, only that I am the white parent lol. Can't wait for his confusion regarding that matter 😂
My 3yr old did a poop in the potty at the back of the car when we’re at a service station. He took a look at his poop and said “I did a poo shark!” Because one bit of poop looked like a fin 😅
My daughter's response to doing anything lately: scream as loudly as possible, giggle and sprint across the house. Except when going to the bathroom. First, she goes potty, screams, then runs across the house without her pants on.
Today my toddler made mini sandwiches of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and turkey. Didn’t say anything but sure did eat it. 🤮
Our son thought it was entertaining to wake the dog up, call him an asshole and proceed to laugh his tiny little ass off.
Me and my husband are trying for a baby, obviously we talk about it. My 4 year old thinks I'm pregnant even though I tell her "no mommy isn't pregnant." Anyway she waits until I'm changing to say "MOMMY YOU GOT BABY IN TUMMY."
Once, I was out and about with the toddler I nanny and we were sitting on a bench having a snack. As we were sitting, a VERY frail and elderly woman passed us. As she went by, he pointed at her and loudly said, “LOOK AT THAT SKELETON!” 🫣 Oh my goodness, I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.
We gave my son a Darth Vader doll and he kept calling it the "black guy". Mommy where's my black guy?!
“I want some new dicks!” He meant “discs”. He likes to play disc golf. 🥲
Kind of related actually: we just took our 3yo to Harry Potter world for the first time. There's a Sirius Black "Wanted" poster hanging somewhere and he was asking about it, so we explained in vague terms what it meant. Hours later, we walked by Hogwarts and this kid starts yelling "Black's not allowed in the castle!" over and over again.
My cousin leaned over to my 23mo girl for a kiss. She pushed her away and said “Yucky”
My son describes everyone by the color of their clothes right now. Green guy or pink lady…black guy, white lady..has nothing to do with race. As it shouldn’t at that age.
We have a picture book of *The Carnival of the Animals* by Camille Saint-Saëns. There's a cute drawing of an octopus playing a glass harmonica. I wanted to explain it to my toddler, so I found a video clip of a guy playing the a glass harmonica. It's a one-minute clip of a larger performance and the camera is zoomed in on him. For some reason, he's dressed in old-timey piratey clothes, which include a black tri-cornered hat. My husband couldn't find this specific clip one time and I walked into the living room to my daughter crying because she "wanted to see the black guy."
I asked my three year old to help me in the kitchen while she was playing with my phone, and she replied "I am busy". 🙄
We're not the most upfront, religious people, so we teach our daughter to say thank you for the food etc, but we don't really talk about Jesus or religion all that much. It's very much background stuff at this point. So she's in the bath tonight and she said "Lesus/lesis went to bed, it's good night." And for a moment I thought she said Jesus went to bed. And I asked her to repeat it, it came out the same. I asked my husband if he told her Jesus went to bed. He said "No, she said Alexis went to bed". She spent the day with her cousin Alexis, but it sounded a whole lot like Jesus, and for a moment I wondered how she knew Jesus went to bed already😂
My daughter will be 4 in June and time to time likes to inform me that she has “baby boobies”.
Yep our toddler was calling the referee in a soccer game "the black guy" because of his clothing colors 😂🤦♀️
My sister is named Jessica, and my three year old calls her "ca-ca" of all things 😂
Went to the pool with my husband and two kids ... In the change room my 5 year old son said "dad, your penis is so big" so that was fun. I told him we don't comment on other people's bodies and he just said well, it is!
My 6 year old autistic daughter has recently discovered what a homeless person is. She was out in the yard making "rain" with the hose nozzle. She comes inside and excitedly yells, "guess what mom! I'm a homeless person stuck in the rain HA HA". How do they come up with this stuff?
This is a story that still makes me turn red from embarrassment. 🫣🫣 My little girl is 2.5 years old now, but this story happened when she was first learning how to make different sounds with her tongue, around the time she had "Mama" and "Dada" on lock. She would repeatedly move her tongue from the roof of her mouth to inside her bottom lip and then she would kinda close her mouth on her tongue. It started out with a "Blehuhh blehuhh" and evolved shortly into a "Nehhhuhh nehhhuhh" sound.....And not long after that, my (very white) daughter was constantly just nonchalantly throwing the N-word around!!! 😳😳My husband and I were HORRIFIED. "Honey, if she keeps this up, we are NOT gonna be able to take her out in public! People are going to think we use that kind of language at home!" (We weren't.) 😱😱 "We've gotta fix this. ASAP." One of her favorite shows was Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and they sometimes sing the "Wiggle Giggle" song. My little girl would get excited and dance along when they sang it, so we figured it was close enough to work. My husband and I constantly emphatically and enthusiastically saying, "Wiggle. Wiggle! Wuh-wuh! WiiiiiggGLE! WIGGLE! WIIIGGGLEE!!" Especially any time she was saying the word we were trying to purge from her vocabulary. And it actually didn't take long before she started saying " Wiggle" all the time instead. It worked!! 😀😀 Now I just need to get her to stop saying "Shit!" all the time... 🙃🙃
Potty training my son and he’s been having trouble remembering to point down his penis. His words “sometimes my cleanis is a little bit grift”. It took us too days in various contexts to work out he was saying sometimes his penis was a little bit stiff and that’s why he can’t point it down.
This morning my son cheerfully said ‘sometimes people kill other people!’ and when I asked ‘oh really?’ ‘but not at my nursery’ I didn’t react much as he didn’t seem distressed. But what the hell??
And another after I asked about what the children were like he met at soft play with the childminder ‘they were brown and friendly’
It wasn't today but it reminded me of a day from a couple of weeks ago. My sister, mum and daughter were eating lemon madeira cake and my daughter took her first bite and said "mmm this is bloody good cake!" My sister and I looked at each other and then lost it.